All language subtitles for Megamind Vs. The Doom Syndicate

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(soft music playing)

- Okay, okay.
That's enough of that. - (music slows, stops)

Hello, loyal viewers!

Like me, you probably never
thought this day would come.

I see some old friends.
I see new friends.

I see friends who frankly
should put some pants on

and venture outside
occasionally.

Seriously, get some sun!

But, for those who
are just joining us,

here's a little something
to catch you up in the form

of my incredibly exciting
superhero origin story!

- (beeps)
- (exciting music playing)

Metrocity,
a city full of danger,

and only Metro Man was strong
enough to defend it from evil.

- Until I totally
kicked his butt! - (zap)

(explosion blasts)

- That's me, Megamind.
- (dance music playing)

Incredibly handsome
criminal genius

and master of all villainy.

But without a hero to fight,
I felt lonely.

So I created a new superhero
to play with named Titan.

Unfortunately, he was a worse
villain than I ever was.

(stone crashing)

It was then that I realized

my destiny was not
to be a supervillain,

but a superhero.

- I defeated Titan
and saved the day. - (whirring)

(triumphant music playing)

I became Megamind,
defender of Metrocity.

- (crowd cheering)
- But little did I know,

my greatest challenge
was yet to come.

(dramatic crescendo)

(soft music playing)

(gurgling)

Blue Mackerel: You're in
my personal space, bro.

Red Snapper: Oh, well,
excuse me for swimming!

I don't think that
was a sincere apology!

- It's not!
- Big King Fish: Both of you, clam up!

(bang)

We got work to do.

- (intense music playing)
- Go fish.

(tapping)

Here goes.

- (yelling, laughing)
- (reels unspooling)

(grunting)

(reels spooling)

There it is.

- (jewels sparkling)
- (laughs) Catch of the day.

- (glass cracking)
- (water rushing)

Ooh, this little baby's
gonna be worth a fortune

on the black fish market!

(Megamind laughs)

(rock music playing)

(whirring, beeping)

You'd think with all
the time you guys spent

swimming in "shools,"
you'd be smarter.

The Go Fish Gang:
Megamind?!

I knew it was only
a matter of time

before the Go Fish Gang
tried to steal

the diamond-encrusted koi

on loan from
the Beijing Water Palace.

It's something the old evil me

would've done (laughs)
way back in the day.

Sir, "way back in the day"
was just two days ago.

That's all? Time certainly drags
when you're a good guy.

Minion,
how could you possibly serve

a bad guy who's turned hero?

Quick correction there.

Due to a cease-and-desist order
from popular fast food chain

Mr. Minion's Meat-sicles,

I can no longer
call myself Minion.

So, Megamind gave me
a new name.

Ol' Chum.
It means, "old friend."

(sentimental music playing)

Yeah, well, chum also
means something else.

- Shark bait!
- (dramatic sting)

(glass cracking)

Wait, chum means "shark bait"?

Why, yes! Sharks love bait!

It's a term of endearment.

- Aw!
- (gasps)

- (glass shatters)
- (shark roars)

It looks like we're both
about to be shark bait!

- Not for long.
- (zaps)

(triumphant music playing)

- (clanking)
- (Chum sighs)

Apex predators are
a whole lot cuter

when you can put
them in your pocket.

- (The Go Fish Gang laughing)
- They're getting away, sir!

**

Brainbot 227,
launch Porta-Prison!

(whirring)

(lasers zapping)

- Huh?
- Hey! What's going on here?

That oughta hold you
until we can transfer you

to your fishbowls.

- In jail... Huh?
- (glitching)

(whirring stops)

- (Go Fish Gang laughing)
- Whoopsie.

- Chum, this is
beyond embarrassing! - (fizzling)

Sorry, sir.

Hey, Megamind! Your gadgets
are like the Titanic,

a total disaster!

- (Go Fish Gang laugh)
- Megamind: How dare you!

The Titanic was a delight
for most of the journey.

After them!

(dramatic music playing)

(truck horn blowing)

- (brakes hiss)
- (Megamind gasps)

They're in a fish tank!

(accelerating beeping)

(water blasts)

(blubbering, yelling)

(all screaming)

(laughing)
You were great villains,

but as heroes,
you guys are all wet!

Let's finish them off!

(engine roaring)

Chum, cube me.

(grunts)

(clinking)

- Huh?
- What the?

Bullseye!

- (dramatic music playing)
- Ha!

Alley-oop. (grunts)

(straining, grunting)

Whoa!

(grunts, spits)
Water in the hole!

Huh?

(splashing)

(zapping)

(Go Fish Gang screaming)

(tank treads screeching)

(people screaming)

Chum:
Sir, those bystanders are about to get squished!

It does not look
good for them.

Oh, right! I'm a hero now.

May I suggest
the portal bazooka?

- You read my mind, Chum.
- (zaps)

- (grunts)
- (whirring)

(zaps)

Kids: Yay!

- (whirring, zaps)
- (grunts)

(zap)

- (Go Fish Gang screaming)
- (smashing)

- (screaming)
- Ah, shark!

Crime.
It's a hard halibut to break.

(groans)

Chum, make a note.
No more puns.

- They're beneath us.
- (laughing)

Halibut! Like the fish!

Brilliant, sir!
Just brilliant!

**

And tell all your evil friends

Metrocity has a new defender,

- and his name is Megamind!
- (car engine starts)

(siren blaring)

Aren't you forgetting
another defender, sir?

Don't think so.

You didn't, by chance,
forget about someone who,

I don't know, say,
gallantly fought by your side?

Ah, of course! How could
I have possibly forgotten?

- Chum, my friend?
- Yes, sir?

- (whistling)
- (whirring)

- Fix Brainbot 227.
- (buzzing)

That short-out was
a little embarrassing.

Remember, I have a super
heroic image to maintain.

- (sorrowful music playing)
- (beeping)

(TV news theme playing)

Crime continues to plunge
since Megamind saved Metro city

from the clutches of evil.
But now, villains,

many who flew below
Metro Man's radar,

are coming out of the woodwork.

So far, our new blue hero
seems up to the task.

And while many changes
are afoot in Metro City,

the one constant is me,
Roxanne Ritchi,

reporting on
the accomplishments of others.

- Huh. Honestly,
how did that sound? - (camera beeps)

Child:
Like you just realized you've lost all interest in your job,

and you're going through
the motions.

Other than that, slam dunk!

- And you are?
- Keiko Morita,

president of Megamind's
number-one streaming online

fan club MegaWatch,

covering all things blue
and super-heroic in Metro City.

- Um... okay.
- Have time for a few questions?

What is happening right now?

Roxanne Ritchi,
you just helped Megamind

save the city from Titan.

So what's your
awesome next step?

Next step?
A-And are you recording this?

Don't worry, it's great!

Obviously, you're too cool
to be just on television.

You're a shark.
You have to keep moving, girl!

- You gotta have a side hustle!
- You're not wrong.

I don't know.
Reporting is important,

but Megamind has been
a hero for only a few days,

and he's already making
a big difference in this city.

Can't help thinking
maybe there's a way

I can be doing more, too.

Wait, why am I telling you
this? How old are you again?

- You first.
- Touché.

What you need to do is find
the thing you wanna do

and go for it.
Look at me!

A few weeks ago,
I was a middle schooler

sitting in detention. Now,

I'm streaming a show with
a half-million subscribers.

Did you say half million?

That's like
10 times my audience,

- not counting family and pets.
- Keiko Morita: Gotta go.

Wanna get a better shot of
the ceremony before it starts.

- Good talk though.
- Yeah! Good talk. (laughs)

Half million...

For his ongoing heroic actions
as Metro's defender,

- I award Megamind
the key to our fair city. - (crowd cheering)

- (laughs) I-I mean,
why not, right? (laughs) - (Megamind laughing)

- Crowd: Megamind! Megamind!
- Thank you, thank you.

You're very kind.

- (grunting)
- (key clangs)

(struggling)

(Chum laughing)

Chum, be a good assistant
and deal with this for me.

- (clangs, clatters)
- Whoa!

(clears throat)
Been getting some feedback

that some of my speeches have
been running a little long,

- so I cut this one down...
- (paper rattling)

...to step length.

Since the dawn of time,

man has been dealing
with good versus evil.

Hey, Chum.
How's the new hero gig going?

Everything's changed for him.

- Me, not so much.
- I know what you mean.

I thought I was more to him.

I thought I was
like his sidekick.

But he still just
sees me as the minion

who fixes his brainbots
and washes his socks.

You know, someone
very recently told me,

if you know what you want,
go for it.

So, tell Megamind you want
a promotion to sidekick.

Oh, it's not
a minion's place to--

Roxanne Ritchi:
But you're not a minion.

You're more than that.

Maybe you just need
to remind him

how valuable you really are.

Speak from the heart.

- (hopeful music playing)
- You're right.

I need to speak from the heart.

And that's why
you're all so lucky

- to have me as your hero.
- (applause, cheering)

Megamind out!

Uh! Excuse me!
(panting) Megamind?

I'm Keiko Morita,
president of your fan club.

President?
Oh, I have nothing but respect

- for those who assume power.
- Then you'll love this.

I'm also your new
social media manager,

streaming content creator,
and image consultant.

Those are a lot of words
I don't understand.

Whoa! Is that
the disguise generator?

- Can I try it?
- Don't touch that!

It's a highly sophisticated
electronic device.

It's cool! My generation
was born tech-savvy.

Really? Then I suppose this is
one of those smarty-pants phones

with a calculator
built right in.

Okay, wow. That proves
you really need my help.

You were threatening
the city a few days ago.

Now you're defending it!

People wanna know who
the new heroic Megamind is!

I'll help you show them.

You have a lot of energy.

Did you just consume
a pound of sugar?

Nope!
I'm like this naturally!

Must be exhausting.

I wanna be a crime fighter
just like you.

You know, part of the team.

(sighs) Here's the thing.

I don't do teams.

I'm more of a solo act,

but you're adorable
in a pushy sort of way.

So, here's a souvenir.

It's either a paperweight
or a flash grenade.

I can't remember which,
so careful with that.

He'll come around.

Here he comes. You ready?

Oh, absolutely!

Had the brainbots
program an algorithm

for a surefire
negotiation speech.

Not what I meant by
speaking from the heart.

Ah, there you are, Chum.
Let's head back to the lair.

Those socks aren't
gonna wash themselves.

- (beeps)
- (motivational music playing)

(Chum clears throat)

Good afternoon!

Do you aspire for success?

I bet you do.

Well, insert boss' name here,
while I humbly appreciate

the opportunities
you've given me,

since we've altered the mission
statement of our organization,

I'm confident
I could achieve more.

I believe I have made

significant contributions
to the new paradigm

and wish for
positional advancement

befitting my more than
adequate executions

of said opportunities.

- (beeps)
- (music stops)

Chum, you're talking gibberish.

Might be time to change
your bowl water again.

Uh, what I'm trying to ask,
uh...

Chum wants a promotion!
He wants to be your sidekick.

Sidekick?
That's a big change.

I don't think you've thought
through this, old friend.

We've got a dynamic here.
I'm the hero.

You're the guy who gets
to hang out with the hero.

Now, with that
firmly reestablished,

let's go get some churros.

(clears throat loudly)

Sir, if you don't
recognize my contributions,

maybe it's time for me to
explore other opportunities.

Hm. Okay.

- Well, if you feel that
strongly about it... - Oh.

Okay then. Uh...

If you feel that strongly about
me feeling strongly about it--

I feel strongly about
you feeling strongly

that I feel strongly about
you feeling strongly.

Okay, we get it!
Everyone's feeling strongly.

No, Roxanne!
Who am I to clip Chum's wings?

I say fly,
you magnificent dove.

(sighs) Yes. I will fly.

I thank you for all
the good times we had.

We part now on friendly terms.

- (Chum's suit whirring)
- (emotional music playing)

I'll be a monkey's uncle!

He's really
walking away this time!

- I don't believe you.
- It's just a figure of speech.

I'm not really
a monkey's uncle.

I mean, I can't believe
you just let him quit!

Relax.
It's a negotiation tactic.

Like the time he went
on a hunger strike

because he wanted
a pet parakeet.

What did you do then?

I waited him out
until he finally gave in.

Parakeets are poop machines.

(sighs)
Everything is changing so fast.

Sometimes, I miss the simplicity
of the bad old days.

(car rumbling)

**

- (wind blowing)
- (thunder rumbling)

(fizzling, zapping)

(blows)

I hereby call this meeting
of The Doom Syndicate to order.

First order of business,
evil villain roll call.

Lady Doppler, evil witch
of weather, present.

Pierre Pressure,
master of hypnotism

and all-around super bad guy
is also present, no?

(crash)

Behemoth, burning hunk
of burning rock,

also bring present.

(flame whooshes)

My lava friend,
present means one is here.

Huh?

(baby talk)
Aw, that's okay, Behemoth.

It's the thought
that counts, hm?

(normal)
Okay, I think that's just about everyone.

Mysterious Voice:
Aren't you forgetting someone?

- (creepy music playing)
- The Master of Nightmares,

the Duke of Darkness,

the broken nightlight
in your cold bedroom.

Sit and tremble
as you gaze upon

the frightening sight of...

- Lord Nighty-Knight!
- (dramatic crescendo)

(lamp buzzing)

That is, like,

the least frightening
villain name ever! (laughs)

Why did you change it
from Fright Night?

That was so much better.

Lord Nighty-Knight:
What are you talking about? It's Nighty-Knight.

It's like a night that's even
darker than a usual night.

Plus, I'm an actual knight,
which is also super dark.

(deep voice)
But is it dark?

- (laughter)
- (Nighty-Knight grumbles)

(normal)
On to serious business.

It seems our former leader
Megamind

just got himself a new gig.

Anchor (on TV):
Breaking news.

Megamind gets
the key to the city

as Metro City's newest hero.

VILLAINS:
No way!

As leader, I've decided

it's time to pay
Megamind a visit.

Say what?!

Behemoth leader!

You are not ze leader!
It is moi!

Nighty-Knight:
No, Megamind gave me his darkest blessing.

Raise your hand
if you also think

Megamind left you in charge.

Pierre Pressure:
I do!

Ugh, seriously?!

How many leaders think
we should pay Megamind a visit?

Pierre:
I do!

Fine. It's settled then.

I agree. But, there is
just one little thing

to take care of first.

(buzzer blares)

Guard:
Hey, Doomy Glooms! No scheming during lunch!

This was a nice place
to lay low for a while,

but we've got some
business to take care of.

Nighty-Knight:
Hello darkness, my old friend.

(whooshing)

Ha!

Whoa! Ah!

(grunts)

I can't move!

(whimpering, yelps)

- (whirring)
- I think you'll have problems hitting ze alarm

if you are trapped
in an invisible box.

Help! I'm trapped
in an invisible box!

(alarm blaring)

(doors slam)

Behemoth? Go gravel.

(growls, roars)

(crumbling)

(yelling)

(wind howling)

(gravel clattering)

(guard yelping)

- (growling, grunts)
- (zapping)

(doors whir)

Guard:
Oh, please don't hurt me!

(laughs)
We'll show ourselves out.

- (boom)
- (bricks clatter)

(dramatic music playing)

Megamind, here we come.

(dramatic crescendo)

Spokesman (on radio):
Ever feel like you're driving to the same job,

drinking the same coffee,

wearing the same outfit
almost every day?

- Ugh. Yeah.
- Spokesman: Have you been wondering

if there's more
you could be doing

- to spice up your life?
- Yeah.

Spokesman:
We have the answer.

- Have a Mr. Minion's Meat-sicle!
- (commercial jingle playing)

- (sighs)
- Protein on the go!

Okay, that really
under-delivered.

- (whirring)
- Roxanne, I'm in great danger!

- (Roxanne screams)
- (horns honking)

(tires squeal)

- (whirring)
- How are you doing this?!

Through the bobblehead of myself
I gave to you as a present.

It's a tracking device
so I can look out for you.

I'm flattered by this
invasion of my privacy.

Come to the lair immediately.
My very life may depend on it!

Hang on!
I'll be right there.

- (tires squeal)
- (horns honking)

(dramatic music playing)

- (door bangs)
- (Megamind screams)

Megamind?

Megamind:
I'm in the kitchen! Hurry!

- (doors creak)
- (Megamind struggling)

- How dare you defy me, you--
- Roxanne: What is happening?

I'll tell you what's happening!

This disrespectful toaster
pastry refuses to toast!

I thought this was
a matter of life and death!

Newsflash! I need food,
or I'll starve.

Besides, I couldn't
reach the pancakes.

(splats)

Newsflash!
Toasters need to be plugged in

or they won't work.

(gasps) Show me what you did,
sorceress!

(sighs)
Maybe you should call Chum?

I'm fully capable of
taking care of myself.

One question. How does one go
about taking care of oneself?

- (alarm blaring)
- The intruder alert!

Thank goodness.

- Isn't that bad?
- It's Chum.

He's always setting that off.

Looks like someone couldn't
bear to be without me.

(splats)

Well, well. Look who
finally decided to--

- Ah!
- Lady Doppler: Come on, Megamind.

Is that any way to
welcome your old crew?

I mean...
what an unpleasant surprise!

My old evil supervillain team.

Nighty-Knight:
You must be so stoked to see us.

Stoked doesn't begin to
describe it, Fright Night.

Get zis. He now wants
to be called "Nighty-Knight."

Nighty-Knight:
It's scarier!

Oh, yes. I'm terrified.

Nighty-Knight:
See? Megamind gets my darkness.

- That's why he
left me in charge. - (gasps)

But that's not why we're here.

We heard all about
your new job.

(gasps) You did?

Nighty-Knight:
Yeah! You think we were gonna let that go

without paying you a visit?

Let him have it, Behemoth!

- (Megamind gasps)
- (rumbling)

(roars)

Guys!
Can't we just talk this--

Ah!

- (party horn blowing)
- The Doom Syndicate: Congratulations!

What?

(singing):
* For he's a horrible *

* Evil fellow *

* Which nobody can deny *

* Because he's now
their evil overlord *

* And they're likely to receive
an unusually cruel punishment *

(cheering)

Imagine, ze entire city
thinks you are a hero!

When you said lay low in prison
and wait for your signal,

we had no idea
it was gonna be this!

- Not even I could
conjure such an illusion. - (bell tolling)

Nighty-Knight:
It's dark, it's messed up,

and I love it. (laughing)

Huh?

- (yelps)
- Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

You think
I'm pretending to be a hero.

- Nighty-Knight: Huh?
- Oh.

- (dramatic crescendo)
- And you'd be right, of course!

That was absolutely
my intention.

There no way Megamind
could be real hero.

That would be great
betrayal and cause

much anger in Behemoth!

- (whimpering)
- (flames hissing)

But you not, so Behemoth happy.

- Oh...
- Where is Monsieur Minion?

Ze robot poisson zat would keep
your place so span and spic-y.

Oh, Chum!

He's not here because, uh,

corporate shake-up.

- Lots of internal changes.
- (explosion, glass shatters)

(Roxanne coughing)

You know you're not
supposed to dry

your metal spiked capes
in the microwave and--

The Doom Syndicate!

What's Roxanne Ritchi
doing here?!

I assure you

there's a completely evil
explanation for this.

We're waiting.

Yeah... so am I.

Roxanne is here,
at this moment, right now,

before us,
because she's agreed...

Syndicate:
Yeah?

- ...to be my evil bride.
- What?!

(whispers)
They still think I'm evil

and only pretending
to be a hero.

- Play along!
- Is this true?

- More like too good to be true!
- (gasps, groans)

I can't believe
you're with her!

She got me fired from
my weather reporting job!

- (groans)
- You got yourself fired

because you never
got a forecast right.

Not to mention turning evil

and throwing lightning
at everybody, Gail.

- (lightning crackling)
- It's Lady Doppler now.

And you two together,
I don't buy it.

Behemoth disagree.
Behemoth always see

certain romantic tension between
blue man and pretty lady.

- Really?
- Really?

Opposites attract, no?

Like crepes and marmalade.

Can you guys excuse us?
Need a quick word in the kitchen

with my not-so-better half.

- (splats)
- Ow!

I'll have you know those have
a warm fruit-filled center

that could have left me
horribly disfigured.

Why didn't you
tell them the truth?

Tell them I'm really a hero?
Are you crazy?

There's four of them,
and only one of me!

They'll pound me into
a blue pulp, Roxanne.

They're going to
find out eventually.

Oh, and since when were you
ever part of The Doom Syndicate?

Uh...

Uh...

(sighs) Founding member,
actually.

I was cutting my evil teeth

shortly after graduating
from Villain Shool.

You went to a villain shool?
I mean, school.

Really more of
a mentorship program.

Unfortunately, my evil professor
and I had a falling out.

He kind of went to pieces.
(laughs) Literally.

Always learning
new things about you.

So, I recruited
the very best of the worst.

- (snaps)
- (door creaking)

(whirring, beeping)

- (explosion blasts)
- With me as their handsome leader,

- The Doom Syndicate was
the premier villain team. - (rock music playing)

Man, those were good times.

I mean, they were bad times

that were good when I was bad.

(nervous laugh)
But eventually, I realized

I didn't like sharing
the spotlight.

So, you ditched them?

I told them I was
working on an evil project.

- (brainbot whirs)
- And that I'd signal them when I took over Metrocity,

which they think I have.

Until I can figure out
a way to stop them,

we must keep up
evil appearances.

No. No! No way!

Come on, Roxanne. Please?

No!

Pleas--

And we're back.

So, you guys have any schemes?

I mean,
plans while you're in town?

- (nervous laugh)
- Nighty-Knight: No,

- but this guy does! (laughs)
- (grunts)

(nervous laugh)
I'm not following.

Lady Doppler:
We're here for Phase Two, silly.

(gasps) Phase Two.

What's a Phase Two?

Guess your boyfriend
doesn't tell you everything.

Megamind said when
he took over Metro City,

we'd all have a place
in the next phase

of his evil master plan.

Phase Two is
such a genius plan.

I cannot wait to get started!

Yeah! That's actually
one of the reasons

why I agreed to evil-marry him.

- I love a good Phase Two.
- (yelps)

But, remind me again
what this one is

and what havoc it might wreak?

Would you give us a moment?

Relax. I never even bothered
to finish Phase Two.

- Lady Doppler: Let's roll!
- (Syndicate laughs)

(gasps)
What's the mad rush, guys?

You just got here!

Let's have some fun before
jumping into evil business.

Charades, anyone?

I say we break
in Megamind's city

with a good old-fashioned
crime spree.

Syndicate:
Yeah!

I don't know, guys.

Aren't we all a little above
crime spree-ing at this point?

Syndicate:
No!

Nighty-Knight:
Look out, Metro City, here comes the darkness.

- Lady Doppler: Let's do this!
- Pierre: Away we go!

What a fun and totally
preventable situation

you've created.

Please tell me you have a plan.

Oh, you better warn the mayor.

Meanwhile, I'll try to keep
The Doom Syndicate

from destroying the entire city
while thinking of a plan

to keep them from doing
my other plan.

- (door creaks)
- Make sense?

Yes, but only in the

you're-the-one-saying-it
sort of way.

(dramatic crescendo)

You should know
I'm a people non-person.

I'm a self-starter,

but also enjoy
the collaborative process.

I'm proficient in
robotics, neuroscience,

chemical engineering,
death-ray construction,

bioengineering,
and event planning.

So, anything in those areas.

(fly buzzing)

I'm lookin' for
a toilet scrubber.

That's perfect!

Another item
off my bucket list!

I won't let you down, New Sir.

- (dramatic music playing)
- (panting)

- (horns honking)
- Whoa! Ah!

- (grunting)
- (people screaming)

(explosion blasts)

- (citizens screaming)
- (smashing)

(crash, explosion)

(Lady Doppler and Pierre laugh)

Today's forecast:
frigid cold flurries,

and a hundred percent
chance of doom!

(thundering)

(echoing laugh)

Nighty-Knight:
That's a thunderstorm, not a snowstorm.

Whatever, Mr. Nappy-Nap.

- (grunts)
- Behemoth: Behemoth hungry!

(roars)

(chomps, groans)

It is just an advertisement,
you silly rock monster!

**

Huh?

(growls)
Flat man trick Behemoth!

(fireball sizzles)

- (grunts)
- (police siren wails)

(tires screech)

(siren dying)

Officer:
Freeze! Police!

(evil laugh)

(whimpers)

You're all under arrest!

**

Now, officers,

- wouldn't you rather
just arrest yourselves? - (whirring)

Officers (in trance):
I have the right to remain silent.

Anything I say can
and will be used against me

- in the court of law.
- (laughing)

- I have the right to a...
- Au revoir!

Sorry about all this, officers.
We'll have a good chuckle

when you snap out of it
in a few hours.

Nighty-Knight:
The darkness!

(whooshing)

The bedlam!

(window shatters)

The chaos!

- (yelps)
- I feed on it.

- (toy squeaking)
- Huh?

(soft lullaby playing)

(echoing baby cooing)

I will call you
Mr. Cuddly Snuggles.

(squeaks)

No one must know
of our friendship.

Darkness!

(dramatic music playing)

Brainbots, code:

"Fix all the things
the bad guys broke

so I'm not legally
or financially responsible."

(beeping, whirring)

(brainbots humming)

- (whirring)
- (hammering)

That handles that!

Mayor (on TV):
For his ongoing heroic actions as Metro's defender,

I award Megamind
the key to our fair city.

(audience cheering)

If only
your adoring public knew

- what we had
in store for everyone! - (zapping)

- (Syndicate laughs)
- (Megamind yelps)

Yeah, poor them!

(Syndicate laughing)

- (weak laugh)
- Keiko: Whoa!

- Those guys are no joke!
- (metal creaking)

(gasping, panting)

(creaking)

- (both grunt)
- (monitor smashes)

- Whoa! Close one!
- You again?

Megamind just
saved yours truly

from becoming
a human vegan pancake!

For more awesome saves,
click like and subscribe!

- (static)
- (distant siren wails)

Oh-ho, my followers
are gonna love that!

And you're much faster
than you look.

- Maybe it's the boots.
- (distant explosions)

- (people screaming)
- (zapping)

You're gonna stop
those guys, right?

Eventually, but right now,
I'm deep undercover.

They still think I'm a villain.

Cool! So, you need my help.

I'll take the volcano guy!

- No, here's what
you need to do. - Whoa!

Use your super-tween speed to
run on home and watch cartoons.

I'm more useful than
you think, you know!

Ugh!

(dramatic music playing)

Lady Doppler:
Look at that.

A bank just waiting
to be robbed.

Let's see some of that
old Megamind magic.

Uh, no thanks. I'm good.

Huh?

I mean, I'm... not good.

It's just important to
keep up good appearances.

Remember, they still
think I'm a hero.

What is ze point, eh?

Phase Deux is just
around the corner.

Nighty-Knight:
Robbing banks was like a ray of dark

in your already
pitch-black soul.

Aw, come on! Please?

Fine! I'll do it.

Even though this sort of bad
is beneath me now.

(dramatic crescendo)

- (tense music playing)
- (quiet bank chatter)

- Bank Manager:
Look! It's Megamind! - (gasps) Uh...

- The hero of Metro City!
- (clapping)

Oh no. Please! Your applause
really isn't necessary.

Nighty-Knight:
I can't wait to see their faces when they realize

evil Megamind is back.

Their sorrow will be delicious.

(deep, mocking voice)
Their sorrow will be delicious.

(normal)
That's what you sound like.

A few days ago,

if you'd have come in,
I'd be hiding under my desk.

Such a relief to know
you're on the good side now.

**

(nervous laugh)
But no need to make a fuss.

In fact, why don't you
all go back to treating me

- like you did in
the bad old days. - (cocks gun)

But, that's when you were evil.

You kept robbing us.

That's not why
you're here, is it?

I'm sorry.
I have to do this.

B-But why?

Because it's, uh... it's, uh...

- Keiko: It's a safety drill!
- Huh?

For MegaWatch?
Half a million viewers?

We're making this for the kids
at home so they know what to do

in case a real villain
comes into the bank.

Right, Megamind?

Yes?

I mean, yes!

So, let's just pretend
it's like the old days.

It'll be fun! Everyone,

let's get those hands
in the air.

Come on, get 'em up!

(excited chatter)

Oh, I get it!

Did I just save your butt?

- Feels like I just
saved your butt. - Huh?

Just need a quick pic
of the exact moment

- you realized you need me.
- (shutter snaps)

(tense music playing)

I guess he is still
a master villain.

Not only is
he robbing ze place,

he's stopping for selfies!

- Nighty-Knight: He hasn't lost
a dark and twisted step. - (grunting)

I still think
something's off about him.

You are just jealous.

Ze man is a genius!

After all,
he left me in charge.

Nighty-Knight:
What are you talking about? He put me in charge.

He told Behemoth leader
should go by height and girth.

Megamind:
Stay back! (grunts)

Stay back, I say! (sighs)

- (cracking back)
- It certainly was good

to work those old
bank-robbing muscles again.

Okay, we need you
to settle something.

Who did you leave in charge
of The Doom Syndicate?

Uh, isn't it obvious?

I chose the evilest
and most qualified candidate.

All:
Thank you!

- Wait?
- Huh?

Mayor:
I'm getting calls from all over!

People are saying
Megamind's running amok

with a group of
villains out there!

He's buying us time until he can
figure out a way to stop them.

Mr. Mayor,
we have to trust him.

We're still cleaning up
after the last time

Megamind "saved" the city.
(struggling)

I don't know what to do!

Nobody told me mayor-ing
would be so hard!

And I can't open
my tummy medicine!

(pops cap)

- (muffled phones ringing)
- (sighs) Thank you, Christina.

Far be it from me to presume to
tell you what to do, Mr. Mayor.

No, no, please! Presume away.
I-I got nothing!

Well, first, you need
to notify law enforcement

to pull back until Megamind
can figure out what to do.

Then, get ahold of emergency
services and have them stand by

- just in case things go wrong.
- Right. Got it.

(tense crescendo)

What did you say after, "first"?

**

Oh, you wouldn't
believe the day I had.

They wouldn't
understand the new me.

Not like you did, Chum.

But I guess that's
all in the past.

I'm defender of Metrocity now,

and I need to learn to handle
these things on my own.

But how do I take down
four villains at once?

Maybe I just need
to sleep on this.

(sighs)

(snoring)

- Ah!
- (muffled music playing)

What is that infernal racket?

- (dance music blasting)
- (gasps)

(party chatter)

(laughs) Woo!

(grunts)

(yelps)

What in the name of
King Tut's cat collection

is going on here?!

Since we're launching
Phase Two tomorrow,

we decided to throw
a Metro City's going-away party.

I didn't agree
to that timeline.

And where did all
these people come from?

Knighty-Night:
Don't worry.

They're all dark
and dangerous criminals.

- (guitar riff ringtone)
- (surprised grunting)

- Ollo?
- Roxanne (on phone): I bought some time with the mayor.

What's all that ruckus?

I'm the victim of
an impromptu rager.

Just a second, Roxanne.

Sir, I'll have you know
that is my special chair!

Off now!
Why aren't you using a coaster?

I want everybody out of here!

Ah, don't be
ze pooper of parties.

Besides, we texted
some old friends

who just broke outta prison.

They should be here any minute!

- Old friends?
- (door creaks)

- Oh no!
- (dramatic sting)

The Go Fish Gang
just walked in.

If they tell the Syndicate
I'm really a hero

and not a villain
pretending to be a hero,

this could get ugly quick.

There he is!

- Gotta go!
- (ends call)

Attention, everyone!

I said attention!

- (crowd gasps)
- (dance music stops)

There's something you all
should know about your host.

(gasps)

- (beeps)
- Brainbot, lay down a sick beat.

- Big King Fish:
The truth about Megamind-- - Huh?

- (energetic music playing)
- Hey!

Hey! What the--

- Wish I didn't have
to resort to this. - (cracks knuckles)

**

- (beat drops)
- (crowd cheering)

(cheering)

Uh, hold on! Y-You all
should know Megamind--

Has had no formal
dance training!

(audience cheering)

DJ, put another stanky
groove in my pocket.

(beeping)

(new upbeat song playing)

I'll take Megamind.

You two get to that
microphone and warn everybody.

- Blue Mackerel: Hey, look out!
- Red Snapper: Outta my way!

**

(dancers scream)

(grunting)

Ah!

Hey! We've got
a dance-off over here!

(crowd cheering)

(dance music continues)

(yelling, grunting)

Stand still!

- (grunting)
- (crowd gasps)

- (growls)
- (laughs)

(both grunting)

(groaning)

- (slaps back)
- (yelps)

Ooh! Ooh!

(growls)

- (Megamind laughing)
- Ah! Just... Gimme... One...

(both grunting)

**

(growls)
Get back here!

(panting)
Where'd he go?

(music, cheering fade)

What the...?

(tense music playing)

How many capes
can one guy have?

- Aha!
- (clicks)

- (zapping)
- (yelps)

4,987, but who's counting?

One down, two to go.

- (energetic dance music playing)
- (crowd chatter)

(grunts, gasps)

Aha!

(whirring, zaps)

Oh!

- (zaps)
- (yelps)

(laughs)

- (gasps) Oh no!
- (clattering)

Uh, don't mind me!
Just dropped a little plutonium!

(gasps)

Blast you,
Newton's Laws of Motion!

(clinking)

Gimme!

Hey!
You have dislodged my beverage!

Oh, um, sorry, Pierre,
but that ice cube's gone bad.

Whoa!

- (sign buzzing)
- (car passes)

(sizzling)

Order up.

(toilet flushes)

Hoo! That was a battle!

But I was once again
victorious, New Sir.

By the way, do you have
a few seconds to discuss

some life-altering changes?

(water drips)

Okay, I'll take your
simmering silence as a yes.

Firstly, my keen eye for detail
has noticed that we only get

two customers every day,

Eccentric Eddie and his
pet cockroach Thaddeus.

(Thaddeus squeaking)

But what if we had
more customers?

Now, I know what
you're gonna say.

(imitating)
"Chum, how can I increase my cash flow

in this treacherous economy?"

(normal)
Well, while I was in my office just now,

I came up with a few ideas.

First, I'd recommend giving
the place a good scrubbing.

Latest market research shows
people generally don't like

sticking to chairs.
Second, let's face it.

The kitchen staff is
horrendous, New Sir.

- I am the kitchen staff.
- Chum: Oh!

(nervous laugh)

Which is a complete
and utter waste.

With your radiant personality,

you should be out here,
with the customers!

And the fully automated
cooking system I've designed

will allow you to fill this
place with your unique brand

of customer service sunshine.

And finally,

I propose a menu change.

We need to specialize!

And what's the one food
everybody loves?

Donuts!

(grunts, chewing)

Say the word,
and I'll get started.

Mm!

You won't regret this, New Sir.

(creaking)

- Megamind?
- (Megamind groans)

- Ah! What's going on?
- (clattering)

This place is a wreck.
Was there some kind of battle?

(yelling)
Just a dance one!

Can you turn off
the music, please?!

What music?

(normal)
Oh, that can't be good.

Did you make muffins?

Yeah, I'm trying new things.

**

(chokes, spits)

Why are you mad
at my taste buds?!

I said I was
"trying" new things.

Ugh, maybe I should use
these on The Doom Syndicate.

Still don't have a plan, huh?

Have you tried just
telling them to leave?

If I tell them to leave,
they'll ask why.

And if I tell them why,
they'll get mad.

And when villains get mad,
they break things.

And the first thing
they'll break is me.

And me is one of my favorite
things in the whole wide world!

Yeah, well, we have to
think of something

before they do whatever
this Phase Two thing is.

The problem is
they're always together.

I have to find a way to
take them all out at once.

Behemoth:
(laughs) Last night rocked!

- Roxanne's back. Yippee.
- (Pierre laughs)

Nighty-Knight:
Alright. Muffins!

- (happy humming)
- Well, now that we've celebrated--

- (spitting)
- Nighty-Knight: Oh, that's nasty.

Now that we've celebrated
Megamind's triumph,

surely it's time for Phase Two.

Again, my evil hubby

has so many amazing phases,
I get confused.

- What exactly is Phase Two?
- Okay.

Phase Two is
an ingenious plan I had

to launch Metrocity
to the moon.

You're joking, right?
How would that even work?

Simple evil genius physics,
really.

(whirring)

(soft fanfare playing)

An energy force field
would entrap air

and protect the populace
from G forces

as rockets built beneath
the city would carry it up to

- and safely land on the moon.
- (beeping)

- (Syndicate cheering)
- (8-bit sound effects)

Syndicate:
Phase Two! Phase Two!

Phase Two! Phase Two!

(cheering)

There, we would establish
an entire planet

devoted to evil-kind.

Nighty-Knight:
Yeah, imagine.

- (cheerful music playing)
- All of us living together,

always for eternity.
Forever.

Until the last star
falls from the heavens

and beyond that.
Together.

All of us.

Just me and my evil friends,

living in infinite darkness.

(squeaks)

- Why do you have a teddy bear?
- (grunts)

Nighty-Knight: Give me back
Mr. Cuddly Snuggles!

There, there.

- It's gonna be okay.
- (soft lullaby playing)

Zee? Zis is why no one
thinks you are scary.

Nighty-Knight:
Teddy bears aren't scary? Yeah.

- They only eat hikers, idiot!
- (toy squeaks)

(Roxanne clears throat)

Getting back to
this plan of yours,

just curious because
I am super into it.

How would that even work?

Just building the giant
rockets under the city

would take years.

(dramatic music playing)

Megamind:
Actually, it took six months.

Construction moves pretty fast

when you don't have to worry
about silly permits

and union lunch breaks.

One of the advantages
of being evil, I guess.

Excuse us, guys.

(yelps)

I thought you said you
never finished Phase Two.

Still needs a couple
of coats of paint.

Also, never totally
satisfied with the decor.

Let's get in there
and launch those suckers.

Syndicate:
Yeah!

Uh, yeah. That'd be
in the launch room.

(beeping)

Computer:
Password error. Access denied.

Oh no,
I've forgotten the password!

- Okay, plan's foiled.
Time to go! - Hold it!

You forgot the password?

Thought it was my birthday.

Guess not. That's so like me!

Can we go now?

Actually, it's not like you.

See? This is what
I'm talking about.

He's been acting out of
character since we got here.

(dramatic music building)

(squeaks)

How dare you imply
I have character.

And who said you could
use my favorite mug?

**

Don't forget,
we've been waiting a long time

for your plan here
to come to fruition.

I don't think you wanna
disappoint your old friends.

Yes, ominous warning noted.

How's this for ominous?

Either we launch
by the end of the day,

or we level the city.

Got it?

(beeps, door slams)

Did you really
forget the password?

Of course not.

The password is THX8675309.

It'd take an idiot
to forget that.

We can't let them
launch the city,

and we can't let them
destroy it.

You have to do something.

Yes, I've been wracking
my brilliant mind

to come up with a plan.

Titan was just one villain.

This is a whole
syndicate of them.

I can't beat them alone,
Roxanne.

You don't have to.
You have me, and you have Chum.

You just need to be willing
to ask for his help.

Oh, I should have
never let him go.

He's been by my side
through bad and good,

never once asking me
for anything.

Except for the parakeet.

But again, they're
poop machines, Roxanne.

Stay on topic.

(sighs) You're right.

I need to let Chum
know I appreciate him,

not just as a colleague,
but as a friend.

(inspirational music playing)

Roxanne:
Chum's working here now?

They called me
for a reference.

Used to be a diner,

but I don't remember
it being so popular.

Just with the health department.
And cockroaches.

(shudders)
Vile creatures!

I despise them more than
button-down collars.

Okay... guess I know what not
to get you for your birthday.

Uh, excuse us?

I'll try my best.
Name, please?

Uh, Megamind,
defender of Metrocity.

I'm kind of a big deal.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Deal.

Your name's not on
the reservation list.

Reservations? For donuts?

We're not here to eat.
There's an emergency.

Let me guess.
A fashion one?

Excuse me?

- (cracks knuckles)
- Ma'am, you give me no choice

but to assert my
dominance upon you.

(grunting, struggling)

Roxanne, it's no use.

Clearly, this hostess is
trained in Krav Magoo.

You guys having
a little trouble?

How are you always around?!

Us girls gotta have our
secrets, am I right?

Seriously, dunno how you guys
survived this long without me.

Think you can do better?

Keiko Morita, MegaWatch.
You could let my friend in

or I could post a scathing
review to my many followers

mentioning the restaurant's
cockroach infestation.

- Nice try, but we don't have
a cockroach infestation. - (chirping)

(screams)

Ew! She's touching it!

Keiko's hand modeling career
is over before it even started!

He's harmless.
Just needed the distraction.

- Thanks, Eccentric Eddie.
I owe you one. - (chirping)

Don't mention it, kid!

I remember when this place
used to be cool.

**

I don't approve
of your methods,

but you're starting
to grow on me.

Like a pleasant fungus.

(crowd chatter)

- Wow.
- (bright music playing)

They've really
cleaned this place up!

(beeping)

Chum:
Then he said,

"Crime, it's a hard
halibut to break!"

(laughter)

(gasps)
Previous Sir?

(embarrassed whimper)

(grunts)

What are you doing here?

(awkwardly) Oh, Chum.
What are the odds?

Us running into each other
at my favorite eatery...

that I've just walked into
for the first time.

But, I'm not really
here for donuts.

Oh, but do try one, sir.

Chum, I came here to--
(gulps)

Oh, my stars! It's like
a jamboree in my mouth!

(gulps) Mm.

But, I came here to
tell you something

that's not easy for me to say.

I want you to know
I've always really appreciated--

New Sir:
Chum, good buddy!

Oh, uh, New Sir,

this is my old boss,
Previous Sir.

Pleasure to meet you.

I go by Mr. Donut now.

It was Chum's idea,
and he's told me

some pretty great things
about you!

(nervous laugh)
Guilty as charged.

Though a few were
just indictments. (sighs) Wow.

It looks like he's getting
along rather well without me.

Chum is a dream come true!

Business is booming!
Check this out!

**

Not only has he fully
automated the kitchen...

(beeping, whirring)

...but he also came up with
the recipe for my secret glaze.

(chomps) Mm!

Listen to me, kid,

I know I was a bit of
a grouch when you started.

You? New Sir, no!

No, no, no, it's true.
But I want you to know,

I appreciate everything you've
done for me as a colleague.

But more importantly,
as a friend.

- Oh. Uh...
- Mr. Donut: So,

- I got you somethin'.
- (gasps)

Your filthy unwashed apron?

But you cherish this!

And now, it's your
filthy unwashed apron.

Wow!

(emotional music playing)

You were about to tell me
something, Previous Sir?

Yes.
I wanted you to know...

that I'm too late.

It's clear this is
where you belong now.

Just know letting you go
is the biggest regret

of my soon-to-be short life.

Previous Sir, are you
in some kind of trouble?

It's not your concern anymore.

Besides, it's nothing
I can't not handle on my own.

Goodbye, old friend.

Just do me one favor.

Be happy.

(door creaks)

Where's Chum?

He's where
he truly belongs now.

(sighs)

I can't put
this off any longer.

I have to stop
The Doom Syndicate myself.

Even if it most certainly
leads to my demise.

- (beeps)
- Car.

- What are you gonna do? (gasps)
- (car whooshing)

Hopefully come up
with a really good idea.

- That's all I got.
- Listen, you don't have to do this alone.

I'm the defender of
Metrocity, Roxanne.

If I don't look out for
this place, who will?

- (slams door)
- (tires squeal)

But, who's gonna
look out for him?

- (dramatic crescendo)
- (chomps)

Announcer (on TV):
Welcome to Season 27

- of "Crab Cake Wars:
Crustacean Devastation." - (sighs)

- Six culinary...
- Megamind: Ollo.

And where have you been?

Oh, just reminiscing
about days gone by.

Fragmented memories
of the way we were.

- What's he talking about?
- Behemoth get the picture.

Picture...
That's the really good idea

I was looking for, Behemoth!

Since this is our
last night on Earth,

we should really get
a picture of all of us.

- Brainbot 227?
- (whirring)

Everybody squeeze in tight.

Come on! Don't be shy!

I really wanna
capture this moment.

Don't you wanna be in it?

Maybe the next one.

Come on! Let's get some
grimaces on those faces.

(groans)

On a count of three,
everyone say, "Porta-Prison"!

Syndicate:
Three, two, one... Porta-Prison?

- (whirring, zapping)
- Wait!

And boom goes your
days of freedom!

Oh yeah! Aha! Ooh!

- (Syndicate groaning)
- Nighty-Knight: What's going on?

I'll tell you what's
going on you guys.

- Prison uniforms! (laughs)
- (yelps)

If this is a joke,
it's not funny.

Not for you,
but I'll be laughing

your whole way back to prison.

Our patience is wearing thin.

You know what's
gonna make you thin?

Prison food!

I could do these all day,

so let's just cut to the chase.

I'm really a good guy!

A champion of justice. A hero!

(gasps)
No! (whimpers)

You watch your language
in front of Behemoth!

Nighty-Knight:
I have been noticing

Megamind acting strange lately,

- and not in a good, dark way.
- Oui!

Idiots! I've been saying
that the entire time!

If Megamind really hero,

why he not be honest
and tell old evil friends?

Because you'd all destroy me!

That's why you're
locked safely in a...

(zapping, glitching)

...malfunctioning Porta-Prison?

(glitching)

(yelps)

Man, I really got you guys!

It's a prank, bros!
Now, who's hungry?

Oh, if it was a prank,
then why are you sweating?

Sweating? Who's sweating?

(trickling)

Blast you, sweat bead.
Don't do this to me!

Go back from whence you came!

- (drips)
- (whirring)

- (yelling)
- (Go Fish Gang grunts)

Attention, everyone!
Megamind really is a hero!

He's not pretending!

Wait, how did we get here?

Nice of you to pop in.
Megamind's ours,

but feel free to enjoy the show.
Get him!

- (panting)
- (Behemoth growls)

(screams)

(roars)

- (clangs)
- (groaning)

Everything hurts... (yelps)

(groaning)

Nighty-Knight: Time to say,
"Nighty, night!"

See, guys?
In the proper context,

that name is frightening.

- (whirring)
- (grunting)

(Megamind panting)

- (yelps)
- (whirs)

And where do you
zink you're going?

(groggy groaning)

(wind blowing)

- (grunts)
- (Megamind yells)

(panting)

(Pierre laughing)

(laughing)

(growls)

**

Ah! Special chair, eject!

(triumphant music playing)

(sighs)

- (zapping)
- (yelping)

**

(yelping)

Think you can just
run away from your problems?

(zapping)

(echoing scream)

Ha! No more Megamind!

(echoing laugh)

With its hero dead,
Metro City belongs to us now.

But maybe it's time we relocated
to a better neighborhood.

Mongolia?

The moon, Behemoth.

I'm talking about the moon.

(dramatic crescendo)

(solemn music playing)

- (splashing)
- (gasping)

(sighs)

(gasps)

Special chair!

I failed you.

I failed everyone.

(dramatic music playing)

(gasps) Take a right here.
Megamind's close.

Roxanne:
How do you know that?

The fan club pin I gave him
has a tracker in it.

- (beeping)
- Roxanne: That's pretty devious.

You are his number-one fan.

(sighs) This is kind of
a sketchy neighborhood.

Going where the danger is
is part of our job.

Besides,
we've always got diplomacy.

Oh. Did you learn
that in school?

No, Diplomacy is just
what I call my bat.

- (laughs) Keiko, I think
you're gonna fit in just fine. - (phone chiming)

- (gasps) Stop the van!
- (tires screech)

(tense music playing)

(Keiko opens van door)

(gasps)

Megamind...

Megamind (echoing):
Never heard of him...

We've been looking for you
all over the city!

Wait, what's with
the fake beard?

You look like
a sad blue wizard.

(sighs)
Obviously, I'm hiding.

The city belongs to
The Doom Syndicate now.

Oh, here!
I have one for you, too.

We can be beard buddies.

I don't wanna
be beard buddies!

I want you to get off
your butt and save the city!

You're the only one who can.

Look, that's a nice sentiment,

but I've made a new life here.

Yeah. The piles of trash
really tie the alley together.

Thank you, Madam President.

Wait, how did you two
find me anyway?

Us girls gotta
have our secrets.

Well, that's adorable,
but there's no point.

I gave the hero thing a shot.

I can't protect this city.

I failed.

**

You didn't fail me.

What do you mean?

When I first moved to
Metro City with my mom,

I got teased a lot.

My name, the way I dressed,

the way I just say
whatever's on my mind.

I think being an outsider,

people just assumed
I was a bad kid.

I started being what
they expected of me,

getting into fights,
skipping class.

But then, you stopped Titan.

It showed me maybe
I don't have to live up

to others' expectations.

I just have to
live up to my own.

If a bad guy can become a hero,

maybe so can a bad kid.

Must be disappointing to see

your hero's such a fraidy-cat.

No! Shows you're smart!

Because you have zero
chance of defeating

The Doom Syndicate on your own.

I thought you
were my biggest fan.

I am, but I'm also a realist.

I'm both comforted
and confused by this pep talk.

Look, putting aside
your silly pride

and admitting you
need help is not weak.

I think you'll find
a true friend is with you,

no matter what.

You guys continue
your gooey moment.

I'm gonna go watch our six.

This is a big no-matter-what.

You get our backs,
we'll get yours.

(emotional music playing)

Okay, but I've got
to find Chum.

I'm gonna tell him
I took him for granted.

He's more than a lackey to me.

He's a partner, a friend,

and I'm gonna ask for his help.

Chum:
You don't need to ask.

Chum?
What are you doing here?

My work is done with Mr. Donut.

But, Sir, my work is
never done with you.

Your constant state of chaos
makes me feel

as though I'm always needed.

You are, Ol' Chum. You are.

After all, what's a hero
without his sidekick?

Sidekick? Really, sir?

I can't tell you how long
I've waited for this!

Keiko:
Diplomacy!

- (smashes)
- (Chum yelps, grunts)

Ah! I'm so sorry, Chum!

I didn't know it was you.

Big fan, by the way.

Chum (groggy):
Wonderful to meet you.

- (Behemoth growling)
- (clanging)

Nighty-Knight:
The darkness compels you to hit it harder.

Behemoth is hitting it harder!

Oh, how long is
this gonna take?

This titanium plating is
a formidable foe to our powers,

but, eventually, it will
yield to the darkness,

as all things do.

In non-goth speak, please?

Nighty-Knight:
About an hour if we don't break for snacks.

(whirring)

Chum:
By my calculations,

they should be able to break
through the security door

within the hour,

if they don't break for snacks.

We need to draw
The Doom Syndicate

away from those
launch controls.

A distraction.

Something they hate
with so much passion,

it overrides
their evil mission.

But what?

Right!
With all the excitement,

I forgot they want me dead!
What luck.

There is a second entrance
to the control room,

the air vent.

Can someone get in
through there?

(sighs) Unfortunately,
we made sure

every inch of our lair's
air conditioning system

was protected by the very
latest in evil weaponry.

Chum and I prepared
for every possible scenario.

Except you having to
get back in yourselves.

- Too-shah.
- Both: It's touché.

But we're not
our old selves anymore.

We're better.
We're heroes now!

And I know the new good us's

can outthink the old bad us's.

I can get through
that air vent, Sir.

You can depend on me.

I have no doubt I can.

That leaves you and me
to keep the bad guys busy.

But, how are we gonna do that
when they have all your toys?

They're half-wits.
We're full-wits!

I'm sure we can
think of something

if we all put our
heads together.

(triumphant music playing)

Huh. We're one head short.

Keiko? Get in here!

Seriously?

Thought you wanted to be
a member of the team.

Uh, yeah! Uh, but just so
I have this on the record,

you and I have a deal.

- (starts recording)
- I help you,

you train me
to be a crime fighter.

You help me,

I'll train you to be
a crime fighter.

You have my word.

Which is something
I apparently have to keep now.

(stops recording)

Time to kick some
Doom Syndicate booty.

Spoken like a true
defender of Metro City.

This city doesn't
need a defender.

It needs defenders.

But first, we're gonna
wanna make a supply run.

I know where we can go.

(cart rattling)

Welcome to Everything City.

500,000 square feet

with over 500 locations
in all 50 states.

Just like the commercial says,

"If the thing you're looking
for is not at Everything City,

it's not a thing."

- (grunts) Chum.
- (cart rattles)

Set a course for savings!

(retail Muzak playing)

Welcome to Everything City!

We've got less than an hour
to stop The Doom Syndicate,

so stick to the list.
We're not here to browse.

(Megamind laughs)

- (laughs)
- (clattering)

* Everything City,
where you feel like a king *

- Whoa! Ooh...
- * If we don't have it *

- Ahem!
- * It's not a thing *

No thermal lasers.
No giant robot suits.

No polarity reversers.

Oh, nose hair clippers!
Crisis averted!

- (clanging)
- (grunting)

Think fast, Chum!

- * Just waiting for you *
- (grunts, laughs)

* Everything City, where
we'll make your heart sing *

That's just about everything.
Now, just need tennis balls.

All of them.

- (rattling)
- (both grunting)

(yelling)

Oh, excuse me,
I'm looking for a parakeet.

It's a gift of appreciation
for a friend.

Oh, I've got just the one, sir.

I give you,

- Mephistopheles...
- (angelic music playing)

...the parakeet of the gods.

Ah!

- (squawks)
- (splats)

Oh, absolutely not.

- (clanging)
- (grunting)

(roars)

- (elevator music playing)
- (slurping)

(Nighty-Knight
and Behemoth grunting)

(roaring)

Um, how will you
be paying today?

- Set to crème brûlée.
- (clicking, whooshes)

Uh, we'll put it on my card.

Oh, right!
Paying for things. (laughs)

Whoever came up with that
scheme is a real evil genius.

(scanner beeps)

Nighty-Knight:
The darkness fades to light,

and I have failed to
breach the entrance.

I have failed.

- I have failed!
- (clangs)

(door crashes)

Good news, everyone.
We're in.

It's about time!
(grunts)

(all grunting, straining)

- (tense music playing)
- (groaning)

Say what you will
about Megamind,

but he's always made
things user-friendly.

Nighty-Knight:
Whoa! Not so fast.

- Who said you could press it?
- I'm the leader!

Are we really gonna
keep arguing this point?

- We are!
- Nighty-Knight: We gotta figure this out

if we're gonna live on the
dark side of the moon together.

Megamind (on speakers):
Ollo!

Let me guess.
Leadership squabble?

Zombie Megamind!

Obviously he's not dead,
rocks for brains!

But, he is just in time to
see us complete the job

he wasn't evil enough
to finish.

(alarm blaring)

Computer:
Launch sequence initiated.

Five minutes to ignition.

Perfect amount of time to
bring you four to justice

and still be able to microwave
some pop-ed corn.

Nighty-Knight:
You really think you can go toe-to-toe with us alone?

Whoopsie. Not alone.
(imitates buzzer) You lose.

Oh! It's Megamind's evil bride!

Not evil, not a bride.

That was an act we decided on.
Together... sorta.

But, obviously, zere
is some romantic tension

- between you two, no?
- Both: It's complicated.

Guys, do I have to
villain-splain

everything to you?

They're obviously here
to stop the launch!

Get 'em!

(dramatic crescendo)

**

Chum, code:
"They're coming out!"

- Chum: Got it, sir.
- (tool grinding)

Nose hair clippers, huh?
Who knew?

They're industrial grade.

Code: "I'm going in!"

Code: "Good luck" and code:
"Try not to get zapped."

**

(Chum's suit whirring)

Okay. Just gotta press
the button and stop the launch.

No need for alarm.

- (alarm blaring)
- Huh? The alarm!

Someone's breaking
into the lair!

- Oh right, that's me.
- (clicking)

(devices humming)

(beeping)

Ah! Whoa! Ah!

Uh-oh!

Ah!

(groaning, whimpering)

- (whirring)
- Okay. Gotta time this right.

- (beeping)
- One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three!

(blasters firing)

(explosions)

(clattering)

(lights zapping)

(grunts)

Hey, I did it!

(whirring)

Brainbot:
Intruder alert, intruder alert, intruder alert...

Ahh, why did we have
to be so thorough?

Brainbot:
Intruder alert.

**

Nighty-Knight:
Hey, where'd they go?

(pops)

- (grunts) What the?
- Huh?

(whirring)

Now the ball is in our court!

- Get it?
- Not bad, though I would've gone with,

"Tennis, anyone?"

- (launching, popping)
- (Syndicate grunting, yelping)

- Nighty-Knight:
Ah! Not the face! - You don't have a face!

Nighty-Knight:
Oh, right. Ah! Ow!

- Oh!
- Stop moving around.

I can't get a clean shot!

Tiny stings hurt Behemoth!

Stand still, you giant baby.

Playtime's over.

- (pops)
- Ah!

Not sure we're going
to beat these guys

with sporting equipment.

We just need to buy Chum time,

and if I know my ingenious
little robot fish monkey,

he should be cleverly slipping
through the lair's defenses

- right about now!
- (pops)

Help! I've been caught

- trying to slip through
the lair's defenses! - (whirring)

Brainbots:
Intruder alert, intruder alert, intruder alert...

(sighs) Okay, relax.
You got this.

Think, Chum, think!

- (gasps) Ah!
- (beeping)

(bots winding up)

- Robot Voice:
Eject, eject, eject! - Ah!

(explosion blasts)

**

Yah! Oh!

(groans)
I'm gonna miss that body.

It was my second favorite.

- Just have to hurry
before I dry out. - (splatting)

- (grunting)
- (beeping)

(gasps) The launch button!

- (clangs)
- Ah!

Whoa! (grunts)

- (squishing)
- Almost... there!

Well, well.
Nice of you to flop in.

Can I trouble you guys for
a tank of dechlorinated water?

(laughter)

Computer:
Preparing city to launch.

Nine...

(rockets revving, blasting)

- Eight...
- Ah!

- (rumbling)
- Citizens: Ah! What are we gonna do?

What's happening?
Run for your lives!

(indistinct yelling)

Computer:
Seven...

(popping)

(Behemoth grunts)

- (beeping)
- Six...

I thought Chum was
supposed to stop it by now.

You know him, always
waiting till the last second.

Computer:
Five...

(people crying, screaming)

Four...

(force field humming)

(zaps)

Three...

(balls firing, popping)

Two...

(blasting)

- One. Commencing launch.
- (beeps)

- There goes the last second.
- (rockets blast)

(both shouting)

(rumbling, crackling)

(dramatic music playing)

(creaking)

Gotta say,
not a fan of Phase Two!

In theory, it was amazing.

- In practice, kinda horrifying.
- (whirring, popping)

- (empty guns hissing)
- And the hits keep on comin'.

**

We'll buy Chum more time
if we split up.

(rockets roaring)

- Help! Outta my way! Me first!
- (yelps)

- What are we supposed
to do now?! - Where am I gonna go?!

- (people screaming)
- What's going on?

We're all doomed! Doomed!

(crowd screaming)

- Mr. Mayor, what's your plan?
- I'm sorry!

I didn't know I needed
an actual plan

for the city
launching into space!

Someone clearly
needs to take charge!

That's supposed to be you!

I just remembered,

I got a really important
lunch meeting. Gotta go!

(all screaming)

Everyone, please
try and calm down!

- There's no
contingency plan for this! - Somebody hold me!

- Keiko: Everyone,
shut your pie holes! - (crowd stops)

My girl's trying to save
your butts, so listen up!

You got this.

- (Roxanne grunts)
- (hopeful music playing)

Police!

Have your officers
dissolve panic

and steer people indoors
or underground.

(car doors open, engines start)

- Paramedics,
have ambulances ready. - (sirens wail)

Also, be prepared to
distribute air sickness pills

in large quantities.

All for that!
I already barfed twice.

And firefighters,
I need the keys to that.

(dramatic crescendo)

(siren blaring)

(rockets roaring)

- (beeps)
- Chum, the whole city's about to have a new zip code!

You have to hit
the "Cancel Launch" button!

Kind of busy
at the moment, sir.

Yeah, busy getting
turned into sushi.

I should warn you guys.

I'm an expert in
the aquatic arts! En guard!

(rapid grunting)

Whoa!

- (laughs)
- (chomps)

- (screaming)
- (grunting)

(yelling)

- (groaning)
- (Chum screaming)

- (grunts)
- (squeaking)

**

- Computer: Ascent terminated.
- (rockets stop)

(force field whirring)

(hopeful music playing)

- (beeps)
- You did it, Chum!

(whirring)

- (rumbling)
- Oh no, you did it, Chum!

The city's falling too fast!

- We have to try to--
- (creaks)

- (growling)
- (crashes)

(Megamind whimpering)

This is the end of the line
for you, Megamind!

You all do know we're plunging
toward the earth right now?

Do not try to confuse us
with science.

- (powers humming)
- Megamind: Wait!

As former leader of
The Doom Syndicate,

and according to evil custom,

I claim my right
to my own demise

per the Villain Charter,
article seven, paragraph four.

Syndicate:
Huh?

The article states that
an outgoing evil leader

can only be terminated
by the new evil leader.

So, which one of you
is that again?

Guys, it's me.
You know it is.

Nighty-Knight:
I'm the darkest and the doomiest.

I am ze clear choice.
I have a beret.

Behemoth wonder if
we can put differences aside

and find commonality

in the ultimate
vanquishing of archfoe.

Nighty-Knight:
Huh...

- (Megamind panting)
- (gasps) He's getting away!

Nighty-Knight:
Make haste, my fellow doom slayers.

(dramatic music playing)

- (rumbling)
- (air rushing)

He's down here somewhere!

I feel it in the black void
of my soul!

- (beeps)
- Chum, are you there?

You have to get to
the manual controls.

- (alarm blaring)
- Computer: City descending.

No can do, sir.
Lost my bowl.

No getting out of this one.

There's always a way out.

Help is on the way,
friend of friends.

- (beeps)
- Polly 227!

- (on speaker)
Launch Operation Parakeet! - (whirring)

(cawing)

(dramatic music playing)

(truck horn blowing)

(operatic vocalizing)

(girders whipping by)

Ha, ha!

(cawing)

(cawing)

(cawing)

- (lasers firing)
- (Polly cawing)

(explosion blasts)

- (groaning)
- (Polly cawing)

(gasping)

- (cawing)
- Sir,

you made me my own
brainbot pet parakeet?

Megamind (on speakers):
Chum, meet Polly 227,

a show of appreciation
for all you mean to me.

I know you wanted a real one,
but again, so much poop.

(gasps) I love him, Sir!

(Polly cawing)

Eternal darkness
awaits you, Megamind.

What to do, what to do?

(gasps) Disguise generator!

I can smell your fear.

It smells like dark bacon.

Ho-ho!

Look into my eyes and fall
under my power,

- man of blue.
- (woozy groaning)

- (whirring)
- (snores)

Ha, ha!
Zee badge of leadership is moi!

Don't pop
the champagne just yet.

Oh? (growls)

(grunting)

(yelping)

(struggling)

Zis is impossibleh!

- Solid! (yelps)
- (zaps)

(laughing)

Reap the whirlwind, Megamind!

- (electricity whirring)
- (yelling)

- (explosion)
- (grunting, groans)

Not a whirlwind.

Roxanne was right!
You are terrible at weather!

Maybe so, but at least
I'd still be around to enjoy it.

- You, not so much.
- (electricity crackling)

**

I guess you always were meant
to be the leader, Lady Doppler.

- I know, right?
- (thunder crashing)

But a word of advice.
(grunts)

(lightning zaps)

(grunts)

- Stay grounded!
- (zapping)

(screaming)

(yelping)

(whimpering)

(grunts)

Oh, why are puns always
so hard to avoid?

(grunts)
Oh, I forgot all about you.

When I was on such a good roll.

Uh, Behemoth figure just wait
until competition eliminated

before squashing blue man.

That's actually
a really good plan.

Behemoth appreciate compliment.

(roars, spits)

I squish you now.

Hey, look over there!

Behemoth no fall
for oldest trick in the--

- (truck horn blares)
- (grunts)

- (truck crashing)
- (siren dying)

I'm sorry.
Was I interrupting something?

My hero.

(triumphant music playing)

- (gasps) Behind you!
- (whooshing)

- (Nighty-Knight laughs)
- (smoke hissing)

Nighty-Knight:
How's this for scary?

(gasps)

Leadership, here I come.

Hey, tall, dark,
and trying too hard.

**

Nighty-Knight:
Huh? What's that?

Either a paperweight
or a flash grenade.

- (zaps)
- (Nighty-Knight gasps, groans)

- (metal crashing)
- (toy squeaks)

Nighty, night, Nighty-Knight.

Huh. Guess it was
a flash grenade.

You are 100% going up
on my inspiration board.

- (rumbling)
- (all yelp)

No time for laurel resting.
Let's go!

(dramatic music playing)

(air rushing)

- Computer:
Reaching terminal velocity. - (alarm blaring)

(straining)
The retro rocket lever is jammed! (grunts)

I can't do this alone!

Megamind:
Nor will you have to.

This is a team effort.

- Hup!
- (Go Fish Gang member grunts)

(all straining)

Megamind:
We need more mega-muscle!

Computer: Warning, warning.
Impact is imminent.

Ground's approaching fast!
(straining)

Megamind:
Almost there!

Computer:
Warning, warning...

Just a little more!

- (warning continues)
- (Polly cawing)

- Computer: Warning...
- (all yell)

(rockets humming)

(rockets blasting)

- (thuds)
- (dust flying)

(all shouting)

Computer:
City landed.

Thank you for flying with us.

(relieved sighs)

You saved the city again, Sir.

No, we did.

**

- Sorry about your body, Chum.
- That's okay.

- Still got a few spares
in the closet. - (car horn honking)

- (tires squeal)
- Roxanne: Oh, would you look at that.

- (car doors open)
- After the city's already saved,

here comes the mayor
to take all the credit.

Or he just wants to
give me another award.

Award?! After what you
just did to the city?

Hardly a building
damaged this time.

We're getting good at this.

Are you kidding?!

(echoing)
You put the city backwards! Backwards... Backwards...

Personally, I prefer
a mountain view,

- but I'll put it back later.
- Uh, just so you know,

we all risked our lives
to save the city

while you were
cowering from your job.

Oh, you think
you can do better?

I know I can.

Oh!

Um, (huffing) okay.

- (beeps)
- Just sent you my resume.

- (door shuts, car departs)
- Mayor Roxanne Ritchi.

I like the sound of that.

(energetic music playing)

(crowd cheering)

(Polly cawing)

We are ready to do thy bidding,
Your Majesty.

Okay. Okay.
I'm the mayor now, not royalty.

Forgive us, Your Excellency.

Got the exclusive
right here, Mega-fans.

Roxanne on the inside,

Megamind, Chum, and yours truly
on the outside.

And all of us working together

to keep Metrocity
safe from evil.

You're getting good
at this hero thing.

You know, I-I think I finally
learned the big difference

between being a hero
and being a villain.

What's that?

Bad guys look out
for themselves.

Heroes look out for each other.

Together, we'll be unstoppable.

Keiko, if you'll do the honor.

(excited squealing)

(triumphant music playing)

(Polly cawing)

Evil has finally met its match.

- (Polly cawing)
- (oil splats)

Ugh, you've gotta be
kidding me!

**

- (dramatic sting)
- I call this meeting to order.

As leader, I permit it.

No! Me leader!

- (wall smashing)
- Huh?

Suave Voice:
I must say, I commend you all for your efforts

against Megamind but, alas,

you lack the proper leadership
to get the job done.

Oh, really?

- (powers charging up)
- Ha!

- (zaps)
- (Pierre shrieks)

On second thought,
maybe change is a good thing.

Suave Voice:
So glad you've come around.

With my help,

our blue friend
will rue the day

he betrayed evil.

Nighty-Knight:
What makes you think you can take down Megamind

when we all couldn't?

Because I, Machiavillain,

am the evil genius who taught
Megamind everything he knows.

And I promise, our blue friend

will rue the day
he betrayed evil!

(evil laugh)

* Supervillain,
ahead of his time *

* Incredibly handsome genius
criminal mastermind *

* But now, he's all cleaned up
and fighting crime *

* A superhero that
you stream online *

* It's Megamind *

* Oh, feels good
to be good this time *

* It's Megamind *

* Oh, it's Megamind *

* Evildoers,
they better run and hide *

* Him and his sidekick Chum
are working overtime *

* That big blue head
never looked so fine *

* 'Cause he's a hero,
your superhero *

* A superhero that
you stream online *

* It's Megamind *

* It feels good
to be good this time *

* It's Megamind *

* Woo! Megamind *

(rock guitar riff)

* Oh yeah *

* Oh... *

* It's Megamind *

* Oh, it's so good
to be good this time *

* It's Megamind *

* Sing it with me now *

* Megamind *

* It's Megamind *

* Oh, feels good
to be good this time *

* It's Megamind *

* Megamind *

* Ah... *

* A superhero that
you stream online *

* It's Megamind *

* Megamind rules! *

(song ends)

(cinematic music playing)

(shimmers)