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1
00:00:01,296 --> 00:00:02,710
The vet called.
2
00:00:02,876 --> 00:00:04,717
Stella's test results
came back.
3
00:00:04,806 --> 00:00:07,642
He wants me
to bring her in... today.
4
00:00:07,772 --> 00:00:10,189
Oh, no.
Come here, you.
5
00:00:10,275 --> 00:00:11,923
Oh, Jay,
I'm so sorry.
6
00:00:12,009 --> 00:00:15,688
That is the bad thing
about loving animals, right?
7
00:00:16,025 --> 00:00:19,434
But think about all the
wonderful things you gave her,
8
00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:22,867
like a beautiful home,
delicious food...
9
00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:24,720
..our marital bed.
10
00:00:24,806 --> 00:00:26,157
I'm sorry, Jay,
11
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,337
Ay, Stella will not
be forgotten.
12
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,912
I'm not putting her down,
you goblin.
13
00:00:32,997 --> 00:00:34,380
She needs a surgery.
14
00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:37,274
Oh. That is
such great news.
15
00:00:37,529 --> 00:00:38,879
Oh, what's wrong with Stella?
16
00:00:39,003 --> 00:00:41,071
She has an elongated
soft palate,
17
00:00:41,157 --> 00:00:43,080
which is why sometimes
it's hard for her to breathe.
18
00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:44,493
And she snores a lot.
19
00:00:44,582 --> 00:00:46,251
Any chance that
they can do you, too?
20
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:48,571
This is a serious operation.
They have to put her out.
21
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:50,279
What happens
if she doesn't wake up?
22
00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:51,413
What would I do?!
23
00:00:51,515 --> 00:00:52,837
When I got
my wisdom teeth out,
24
00:00:52,923 --> 00:00:54,885
you made me walk the last
four blocks to the dentist
25
00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:57,303
so you could get an Egg McMuffin
before the 10:30 cut-off.
26
00:00:57,388 --> 00:00:58,845
You're gonna
have to let that go.
27
00:00:59,096 --> 00:01:00,252
You know what?
I'm not gonna do it.
28
00:01:00,337 --> 00:01:02,141
- She seems fine.
- Maybe she just needs
29
00:01:02,227 --> 00:01:03,626
some fresh air
to breathe better.
30
00:01:03,712 --> 00:01:05,282
Why don't we take her
to the dog park?
31
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:08,016
That's a great idea.
Might be a little muddy out there.
32
00:01:08,299 --> 00:01:09,954
I'm gonna get your boots,
gorgeous.
33
00:01:10,063 --> 00:01:11,524
Thank you.
34
00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,626
My boots are in the closet,
next to the...
35
00:01:14,977 --> 00:01:16,673
Was he just talking
to Stella?
36
00:01:16,837 --> 00:01:18,069
Come here, you.
37
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,415
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 10 Episode 14
38
00:01:28,524 --> 00:01:29,845
Episode Title :
"We Need to Talk About Lily"
39
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:33,995
Crown molding wainscoting,
crown molding wainscoting,
40
00:01:34,056 --> 00:01:36,407
French door credit score,
French door credit score.
41
00:01:36,494 --> 00:01:37,744
You warming up
for a big showing?
42
00:01:37,829 --> 00:01:38,761
Very big.
43
00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:40,579
I finally found Pepper
his dream house.
44
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,721
I can't believe you're still
45
00:01:41,806 --> 00:01:42,766
letting that man
waste your time.
46
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,399
How many houses
have you shown him?
47
00:01:44,502 --> 00:01:47,938
Pfft, only, like...
I don't know, like, uh, 120.
48
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,438
But we have fun.
He's a hoot.
49
00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,048
Honey, even Mitch and Cam agree
that he's impossible,
50
00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:53,524
and he's never gonna
buy a house.
51
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:54,610
- Yes, he will.
- No.
52
00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:56,360
He always manages
to find something wrong.
53
00:01:56,446 --> 00:02:00,524
The last house, the yoga room
was too close to the panic room.
54
00:02:00,651 --> 00:02:02,066
He was willing
to live with that,
55
00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:04,610
but the property
wasn't zoned for his falcons.
56
00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:07,389
This one today, though,
checks every single box.
57
00:02:07,491 --> 00:02:11,024
Great. So if Pepper doesn't
buy the house today,
58
00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:13,313
you agree to stop letting
him string you along
59
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,132
and drop him as a client.
60
00:02:15,254 --> 00:02:18,817
How long did you string me along
before I closed that deal?
61
00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:21,102
Honey, you can't
get Pepper pregnant
62
00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:22,905
- and trap him in a house.
- You're on.
63
00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:24,111
You remember
you need to be home
64
00:02:24,196 --> 00:02:25,757
- by 5:00, right?
- Yeah.
65
00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:27,042
Wait, why?
66
00:02:27,144 --> 00:02:29,532
Alex's boyfriend, Bill,
has cooked up some invention
67
00:02:29,618 --> 00:02:30,962
he wants us to invest in.
68
00:02:31,148 --> 00:02:32,446
Why us?
69
00:02:32,727 --> 00:02:36,337
Because someone
inspired him.
70
00:02:36,654 --> 00:02:38,602
As you can see,
my patent-pending.
71
00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:42,212
Wear-Chair TM,
barely noticeable.
72
00:02:42,415 --> 00:02:44,243
- I love it.
- Whenever I get tired of standing,
73
00:02:44,328 --> 00:02:47,085
all I have to do...
press this button.
74
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:51,333
A spring-loaded leg jets out to
provide me with a comfy seat.
75
00:02:53,312 --> 00:02:54,712
You put it on backwards,
didn't you?
76
00:02:54,838 --> 00:02:56,374
My point is, Bill,
77
00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:58,617
there's a great invention
inside all of us.
78
00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,453
Please,
just be home in time.
79
00:03:00,539 --> 00:03:02,305
I don't want to crush
a man's dreams on my own.
80
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,399
You have to do it with me.
81
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,598
Who knows? We might love
his invention.
82
00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:06,715
It's gonna be stupid.
83
00:03:06,773 --> 00:03:08,180
Good thing you weren't
married to George Foreman
84
00:03:08,265 --> 00:03:10,437
or we'd still be grilling
our meats one side at a time.
85
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,554
Mm.
86
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:16,218
So, Lily, how...
how are you today?!
87
00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:17,734
Lily?!
88
00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:19,148
Lily.
89
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,179
Your father was just asking
how you're doing.
90
00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:22,431
Are...
Are you all right?
91
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:24,265
- I'm fine.
- Okay.
92
00:03:25,999 --> 00:03:27,536
Yeah.
93
00:03:27,638 --> 00:03:29,687
Okay, uh...
I gestured you over here
94
00:03:29,773 --> 00:03:31,024
'cause we need to
talk about Lily.
95
00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,171
Yes, I puzzled that out.
96
00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:34,281
Also, you don't need to whisper.
Watch.
97
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:35,999
Honey, your father and I
may get divorced
98
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,844
because he's thinking
about becoming a woman.
99
00:03:37,929 --> 00:03:39,481
That explains a lot.
100
00:03:39,726 --> 00:03:43,518
- I'm in between songs.
- Okay, all right. Now out. This way.
101
00:03:43,621 --> 00:03:44,788
What is going on
with her?
102
00:03:44,874 --> 00:03:46,945
I don't want to be shut
out like this another day.
103
00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,191
I know, but let's...
let's not get hysterical.
104
00:03:49,277 --> 00:03:50,376
I'm not getting hysterical.
105
00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:51,805
- We're minutes away.
- Fair enough.
106
00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:53,493
I just want
to see her smile.
107
00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,453
Yeah, okay, I'm gonna
text Ronaldo again.
108
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,333
Hopefully he got us into
that KimmyLoveandStuff party.
109
00:03:58,435 --> 00:04:00,813
KimmyLoveandStuff
is an Internet sensation
110
00:04:00,899 --> 00:04:01,970
- that Lily loves.
- Yeah.
111
00:04:02,072 --> 00:04:03,883
- Boom!
- She tries on clothes,
112
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:06,227
she cries about bullies
and plastic.
113
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,141
You guys,
just imagine
114
00:04:08,227 --> 00:04:10,446
if you were a turtle and
this happened to you.
115
00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:12,664
Our whole family
is obsessed with her.
116
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:15,110
And... that's the great thing
about a tween girl
117
00:04:15,196 --> 00:04:16,235
having two gay dads.
118
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,946
I mean, we...
we love the same things.
119
00:04:18,032 --> 00:04:20,183
Cute guys,
fashion, gossip.
120
00:04:20,322 --> 00:04:22,589
Oh, my God!
Ronaldo, he got us in!
121
00:04:22,691 --> 00:04:23,672
Amazing. Okay,
122
00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:24,910
we have to get him
a thank-you gift.
123
00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:26,561
No, no, he owes you,
okay?
124
00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:28,055
You gave him
your bone marrow.
125
00:04:28,196 --> 00:04:29,539
Well, how could I not?
126
00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,977
He was still hungry,
and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it.
127
00:04:32,954 --> 00:04:36,563
And we make our way back
to the formal entryway,
128
00:04:36,649 --> 00:04:38,414
which, according
to your checklist,
129
00:04:38,618 --> 00:04:40,792
"must be large enough
to make people swoon
130
00:04:40,878 --> 00:04:42,110
when they step inside."
131
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:43,711
I want to do it again.
132
00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:47,125
Ugh, that Pepper claims
to be wealthy,
133
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,305
but I don't believe it
for a...
134
00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:49,594
Oh, my heavens!
135
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,360
We're peasants.
136
00:04:51,446 --> 00:04:52,852
It's got everything on your list...
137
00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:55,624
piano bar,
his and his dining rooms,
138
00:04:55,726 --> 00:04:59,102
plus a view of Rihanna's roof,
which I never quite understood.
139
00:04:59,188 --> 00:05:01,211
I did a party for her once,
and I could feel
140
00:05:01,297 --> 00:05:04,422
those judgy Barbadian eyes
looking down on me.
141
00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:08,153
Now who's looking down
on who, RiRi?
142
00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:11,196
Like they say, location,
location, vengeance.
143
00:05:11,954 --> 00:05:13,241
You're funny.
144
00:05:13,343 --> 00:05:15,911
Oh, it's fabulous, Phil.
Mother would love it.
145
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,563
It's her generosity
and my power of attorney
146
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:20,258
that are making
this purchase possible.
147
00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:23,282
So... are we ready
to sign the offer?
148
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:24,753
Very close.
149
00:05:24,855 --> 00:05:26,493
I just want to live
in it for a bit,
150
00:05:26,579 --> 00:05:27,923
get a feel
for the everyday.
151
00:05:28,025 --> 00:05:29,133
You're in no hurry,
right?
152
00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:30,719
Oh, no, no, no. If
I was in a hurry,
153
00:05:30,805 --> 00:05:32,969
would I have shown
you over 200 houses?
154
00:05:33,258 --> 00:05:35,101
I can't wait
to get to the park.
155
00:05:35,399 --> 00:05:36,615
Hey, there's our mailman.
156
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,100
Hey! Hey!
157
00:05:38,202 --> 00:05:39,312
Settle down, Jay.
158
00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:40,672
Boy, I'm itchy today.
159
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,648
Hey, I hope that dog
Bingo's at the park.
160
00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:43,851
He's fun to play with.
161
00:05:43,937 --> 00:05:45,781
What are you doing?
You just missed our turn.
162
00:05:45,909 --> 00:05:47,309
I'm just
going another way.
163
00:05:47,411 --> 00:05:48,742
There is no other way.
164
00:05:49,747 --> 00:05:51,539
You're not taking us
to the park.
165
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:53,172
We're going to the vet.
166
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,863
The doctor said
that she needs this surgery.
167
00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:58,711
- She's gonna be fine.
- I feel sick. I need some air.
168
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,922
So, here I am on an ordinary day in
my new house
169
00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:08,320
everyone hates me for and
I'm walking and
170
00:06:08,406 --> 00:06:09,232
I'm kvelling...
171
00:06:09,318 --> 00:06:13,354
And we're panting and
we're schvitzing...
172
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:17,578
and we're laughing
and we're crying...
173
00:06:17,781 --> 00:06:18,976
And we're thinking.
174
00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:20,578
And I'm putting.
175
00:06:20,663 --> 00:06:22,047
So,
you have an entire wardrobe
176
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:23,422
- in your car?
- Shh!
177
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:27,125
♪ And I'm playing
and I'm singing ♪
178
00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:29,109
♪ And they're loving it ♪
179
00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:32,664
I said loving it.
180
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,577
This is a disaster!
181
00:06:36,679 --> 00:06:38,296
What a fun way
to enter a room.
182
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,415
I know Bill's coming over
to talk to you guys today,
183
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,461
- and I'm freaking out.
- Oh, honey, don't worry.
184
00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,834
We're not gonna invest
in his invention.
185
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,484
That's not why
he wants to talk to you.
186
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,609
It's a cover.
187
00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:48,956
He's going to ask
for your blessing to marry me.
188
00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:51,453
- Whoa, what?
- And you have to tell him no.
189
00:06:51,539 --> 00:06:52,664
How do you know this?
190
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:55,180
All of the men in his family
propose on Valentine's Day,
191
00:06:55,266 --> 00:06:56,113
which is coming up.
192
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,750
I read a text he sent
to his buddy
193
00:06:57,836 --> 00:06:59,406
who just got engaged
asking for tips
194
00:06:59,492 --> 00:07:01,352
for a good proposal,
and my friend saw him
195
00:07:01,445 --> 00:07:02,781
coming out
of a jewelry store.
196
00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:05,727
So you read his texts and
you track his movements.
197
00:07:05,813 --> 00:07:07,602
I can see why he's so eager
to lock you down.
198
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:10,219
Look, I really like
being with Bill,
199
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,912
and if I have
to turn him down,
200
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,406
that means the end of
the relationship
201
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,134
and all that great sex.
202
00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:19,414
Really come out of your shell,
haven't you?
203
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,883
Okay.
204
00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:27,461
Okay. Are you ready?!
Surprise!
205
00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:29,938
I'm gonna need a little
bit more information.
206
00:07:30,024 --> 00:07:31,336
You are at.
207
00:07:31,422 --> 00:07:32,876
- KimmyLoveandStuff's.
- KimmyLoveandStuff.
208
00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:33,844
Exclusive launch party...
209
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:37,053
For her new makeup line,
and she's gonna sing
210
00:07:37,139 --> 00:07:38,297
- her hit single...
- Single!
211
00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:39,624
- "Give Me Love and Stuff."
- "Love and Stuff."
212
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,141
Okay.
How did you guys do this?
213
00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:45,727
Hello, total strangers.
Welcome.
214
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,492
Thank you so much
for doing this, Ronaldo.
215
00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:48,587
If anyone
asks who you are,
216
00:07:48,672 --> 00:07:50,759
say you were looking for the
Garth Brooks book signing.
217
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:51,845
- Oh.
- They'll believe you
218
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,305
- because of your clothes.
- I'm gonna go look for the bathroom.
219
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,430
- Okay.
- Oh, look, she is so nervous,
220
00:07:56,516 --> 00:07:57,459
it's adorable.
221
00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,461
Um, uh,
do you think that there's any way
222
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,828
we can get KimmyLoveandStuff
to come over and meet Lily?
223
00:08:01,976 --> 00:08:03,883
I'm not allowed to look her
in the eye, so no.
224
00:08:03,969 --> 00:08:05,828
This is Ronaldo.
225
00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:08,898
Just pick it up, blow on it,
and put it back on the tray.
226
00:08:08,984 --> 00:08:10,550
Are you kidding me
with these questions?
227
00:08:10,636 --> 00:08:12,453
Wow! We got
to get KimmyLoveandStuff
228
00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:13,406
to say hi to Lily.
229
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,625
Well, there's her dog,
Boo, so she's nearby.
230
00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,820
Okay, I just got a really
sketchy but great idea.
231
00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:19,891
Um,
did you pack your jerky?
232
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,672
Turkey, beef,
or salmon?
233
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:23,095
- Here's what we're gonna do.
- Oh, please.
234
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,696
This is not the first time
I've lured an animal
235
00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:26,930
away from its owner
with my purse jerky.
236
00:08:28,495 --> 00:08:31,196
Boo, come here.
Boo, you want some treats?
237
00:08:31,384 --> 00:08:32,648
Good girl.
Come here.
238
00:08:32,781 --> 00:08:34,922
Move! Boo!
239
00:08:35,008 --> 00:08:36,747
Does anyone have eyes
on Boo?!
240
00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:38,351
Those old men snatched her.
241
00:08:38,437 --> 00:08:40,234
Are you trying to steal my dog?
242
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,657
No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry.
We were just...
243
00:08:41,742 --> 00:08:43,024
We're just trying to,
uh, get your attention.
244
00:08:43,109 --> 00:08:44,588
Yeah, you see,
our daughter, Lily, she...
245
00:08:44,673 --> 00:08:45,856
she's a massive fan
246
00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,259
and she's a little depressed
right now and we just...
247
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,914
we want to see her smile again.
248
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,758
Oh... my... God.
249
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:56,212
Gay dads are the best!
250
00:08:56,298 --> 00:08:58,109
- That's what we said.
- We say that.
251
00:08:58,220 --> 00:08:59,883
I think it's because
we love to have fun,
252
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:01,734
but we're also
not afraid to get real.
253
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,890
Aww. I hate the idea of
your daughter not smiling.
254
00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:06,293
Let's go make her day.
255
00:09:06,395 --> 00:09:07,720
Okay, well,
that's her right there.
256
00:09:07,805 --> 00:09:09,029
Um, that's Lily.
257
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,047
Film this.
258
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,203
I-Is she talking to me?
259
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,156
Yeah.
260
00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,258
Of course, Ms. LoveandStuff.
261
00:09:15,065 --> 00:09:17,742
Hey, lovers and stuffers.
It's your girl, Kimmy.
262
00:09:17,873 --> 00:09:19,336
We're here
at my launch party
263
00:09:19,461 --> 00:09:22,827
where I'm about to
surprise my biggest fan.
264
00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:25,579
You ready to see
someone's mind kim-plode?
265
00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:31,055
Hey, Lily.
You having fun and stuff?
266
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:32,281
Hey.
267
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,047
Lily, it's KimmyLoveandStuff.
268
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,304
I know. I said "hey."
269
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:36,571
You know what?
I think she's in shock.
270
00:09:36,656 --> 00:09:38,275
Lily, why don't you tell
her your favorite video.
271
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,211
Mine was
when you tackled racism
272
00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,211
and gave yourself
that cute fishtail braid.
273
00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:43,464
Uh-huh. And Lily.
274
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,906
I don't watch them anymore.
Sorry. Can we go?
275
00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:47,367
Cut! Give me that!
276
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,258
Lily? You're...
You're being very rude.
277
00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,721
Extra rude!
278
00:09:50,806 --> 00:09:52,923
And who are you people and
how did you get in here?
279
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,993
- Garth Brooks. - Garth Brooks.
- When I find out, heads will roll.
280
00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:58,821
- I'm so embarrassed.
- You're so embarrassed?
281
00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:00,664
You're so embarrassed?
282
00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:03,804
Okay. We're ready for Stella.
283
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,312
Well, I'm not ready.
284
00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:07,187
- Jay, come on.
- Ah.
285
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,812
All right. Careful.
286
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:13,797
Wait a second.
I-I have to say something.
287
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,234
Little girl,
I know you're scared.
288
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,483
Me too.
But you're a fighter.
289
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:22,219
"Don't worry, Daddy.
I'll be fine."
290
00:10:22,312 --> 00:10:23,570
She doesn't sound like that.
291
00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:26,078
Sorry. She'll do great.
292
00:10:26,268 --> 00:10:29,336
What is going on with you?
I've never seen you like this.
293
00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:30,507
I don't know.
294
00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:33,383
When I was 10,
Dad came home with a rescue,
295
00:10:33,469 --> 00:10:35,117
and I was so damned
excited.
296
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,168
But the dog wanted
nothing to do with me...
297
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:39,922
Went straight to my sister
and never left her side.
298
00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:44,098
Then years later, we got
a puppy who went right to Dede,
299
00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:46,140
growled at me every time
I went near her.
300
00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:50,172
But with Stella, I didn't even
bother trying, and she chose me.
301
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,758
Now I may never
see her again.
302
00:10:53,716 --> 00:10:56,984
I-I-I can't sit here.
I need to take a walk.
303
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,475
What kind of surgery?
304
00:11:00,836 --> 00:11:02,867
They just have
to fix her breathing.
305
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:03,914
It's not a big deal.
306
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,765
Hmm. Is that what
they told you?
307
00:11:05,937 --> 00:11:07,581
I'd be careful
if I were you.
308
00:11:07,721 --> 00:11:08,721
What do you mean?
309
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,601
Men get crazy
about their animals.
310
00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:15,289
My husband had this horrible cat
with a big lump on its neck.
311
00:11:15,414 --> 00:11:18,000
It was benign,
didn't bother my husband,
312
00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:19,922
but I couldn't stand
looking at it.
313
00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:21,922
So one day, when
my husband was at work,
314
00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:24,164
I brought the cat in
here to have them take
315
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,992
that thing off and... Kchhh.
316
00:11:26,135 --> 00:11:28,201
It died right on the table.
317
00:11:28,304 --> 00:11:30,656
Ay, no.
Was your husband mad?
318
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,453
Ex-husband, so yeah.
319
00:11:34,086 --> 00:11:36,109
Ay... Damn it.
320
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,336
Hola.
321
00:11:38,695 --> 00:11:40,195
Hello?
322
00:11:42,288 --> 00:11:45,422
Well, all righty.
I thought I was next.
323
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:49,607
Well, that's the first time I've
slow-cooked ribs for a showing.
324
00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:50,657
Mother's recipe.
325
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:53,531
So, are you ready
to make an offer?
326
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:56,484
I don't know, Phil.
327
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,796
Don't know what, Pep?
328
00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,265
- I'm just not feeling it.
- Oh.
329
00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:02,101
Maybe we should
see some more houses?
330
00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:03,586
No problemo.
Um,
331
00:12:03,672 --> 00:12:05,149
did you want to look
in another neighborhood
332
00:12:05,234 --> 00:12:07,617
or stay right here
in Hell?!
333
00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:11,632
- Aah! Oh! I beg your...
- No, I beg...
334
00:12:11,718 --> 00:12:14,038
For God's sakes,
buy this house.
335
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:17,585
I've worked harder for you than
any client in my entire career.
336
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,320
I don't know
if you're indecisive,
337
00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:21,406
sadistic,
or just plain crazy.
338
00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,413
Hey there, honey.
339
00:12:22,499 --> 00:12:23,507
You're still there, aren't you?
340
00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:25,851
He's just dotting the I's,
crossing the T's.
341
00:12:25,937 --> 00:12:28,328
Yanking your chain.
Dump him.
342
00:12:28,492 --> 00:12:30,039
Listen, Bill's about
to be here any minute,
343
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,304
and the situation has changed.
344
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:34,218
Got to go.
345
00:12:35,404 --> 00:12:39,492
Get back here! I found you
a bathroom with a koi pond!
346
00:12:43,688 --> 00:12:45,828
I have Stella!
Get in!
347
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:50,687
Where is she?
348
00:12:50,789 --> 00:12:52,639
- She's in the back.
- Is she okay?
349
00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:54,952
I busted her out.
I can't make you do this.
350
00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:57,671
If something happens to her,
you're never going to forgive me,
351
00:12:57,757 --> 00:12:59,304
and I don't want
to lose you like that.
352
00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,657
Well, that's touching,
but you just blew through a stop sign.
353
00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:03,900
She'd probably
be safer at the vet.
354
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:07,321
Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy.
355
00:13:07,406 --> 00:13:08,455
Hello, Phil.
356
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,407
I'm preparing a plate for a diva.
357
00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:11,658
Is everything okay?
358
00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:13,093
Uh, actually, no.
359
00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:14,895
I lost my temper with
Pepper when he told me
360
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:16,496
he wanted to see more houses,
and I've been calling
361
00:13:16,581 --> 00:13:18,515
- to apologize, but...
- He's not picking up.
362
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:19,599
How did you know?
363
00:13:19,684 --> 00:13:20,907
It seemed the only
possible conclusion
364
00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:22,169
- to your sentence.
- Oh.
365
00:13:22,254 --> 00:13:25,288
Phil, do you know the reason
I stopped house hunting with Pepper?
366
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,374
Was it when that seller thought
Pepper was your grandpa?
367
00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:29,325
He hasn't let me
wear sunscreen since.
368
00:13:29,428 --> 00:13:32,593
No. I finally realized
he wasn't going to buy a house.
369
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,398
Are you kidding?
I've wasted hundreds of hours.
370
00:13:35,484 --> 00:13:38,134
I postponed hernia surgery.
Why would he do that to me?
371
00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:39,695
He likes you.
372
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,492
Most straight guys
find Pepper annoying,
373
00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:43,156
but you're always
so nice with him.
374
00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:44,929
I think he's afraid
if he buys a house,
375
00:13:45,015 --> 00:13:46,835
- he'll never see you again.
- Really?
376
00:13:46,921 --> 00:13:48,905
Wow, it's so painful
keeping everything inside.
377
00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:50,246
It's how he was raised.
378
00:13:50,348 --> 00:13:51,577
No, my truss isn't working.
379
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:52,833
I've got to schedule
that procedure.
380
00:13:52,918 --> 00:13:54,242
Do you know
where Pepper is?
381
00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:56,512
He has a special place
he goes when he's sad.
382
00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:57,670
It's pretty gay.
383
00:13:57,756 --> 00:13:59,639
Have you ever seen the movie
"La La Land"?
384
00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:01,421
Of course.
Wait, does he go to the bench
385
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,297
overlooking the city where
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone
386
00:14:03,382 --> 00:14:04,414
tap danced into each other's hearts?
387
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:06,880
- That's not so gay.
- Okay.
388
00:14:07,593 --> 00:14:08,695
No, no, no, no, no, no.
389
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,171
Take those things off,
please.
390
00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:13,336
We need to talk about whatever's
going on with you right now.
391
00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:15,622
- I'm fine.
- No, you're not fine.
392
00:14:15,707 --> 00:14:17,351
You're sullen and aloof
and...
393
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,757
and you embarrassed us in
front of KimmyLoveandStu...
394
00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:21,000
I can't say it again. I can't.
395
00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:24,038
Okay, we gave you
every tween girl's dream day,
396
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:26,249
and... and you can
barely crack a smile.
397
00:14:26,351 --> 00:14:28,835
It's not my dream day.
It's yours.
398
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,287
I'm not the same kind of
tween girl you guys are.
399
00:14:31,389 --> 00:14:33,289
But we love
all the same things.
400
00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:35,242
I've changed.
I don't like Beyoncé.
401
00:14:35,327 --> 00:14:36,773
You take that back!
402
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:37,991
Or Britney.
403
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,279
Or Gaga.
404
00:14:39,406 --> 00:14:41,998
I only fake it
'cause you guys like that stuff.
405
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,617
I'm different.
406
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:45,226
Well, honey, is it...
407
00:14:45,504 --> 00:14:47,406
is that why you've been feeling so down,
because you...
408
00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:48,905
you feel different
than us?
409
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:51,710
I don't know. I guess I feel
different than a lot of people.
410
00:14:51,796 --> 00:14:55,629
Well, sweetie, that is one thing
your dad and I can relate to.
411
00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:58,788
I guess, well, that's the great thing
about having two gay dads.
412
00:14:58,874 --> 00:15:01,134
We... We know what it feels
like to be an outsider.
413
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,585
Okay, but here's what happens.
414
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:05,546
You start... finding people
who don't quite fit in,
415
00:15:05,632 --> 00:15:08,234
and you start
not fitting in together.
416
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,491
We never want you
to feel like
417
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,296
you have to be
someone else for us.
418
00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:12,946
- Never.
- I mean...
419
00:15:13,031 --> 00:15:14,952
What is this music
you're always listening to?
420
00:15:15,038 --> 00:15:16,163
- Come on. Let us in.
- Yeah.
421
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,905
Okay. I like this.
422
00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,086
- Okay.
- Let's put it on,
423
00:15:19,171 --> 00:15:20,554
- All right. Here we go.
- Huh?
424
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:25,710
♪ Where's your sanity? ♪
425
00:15:25,977 --> 00:15:26,843
- Fun!
- Yeah.
426
00:15:26,945 --> 00:15:28,515
Yeah, yeah, I like it.
427
00:15:29,047 --> 00:15:31,366
- She's gonna kill us someday.
- Mm-hmm.
428
00:15:32,817 --> 00:15:35,109
Hey. I just want to say,
I really appreciate
429
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,031
you wanting
to save Stella like that.
430
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,288
Well, Stella is not the
only one that choose you.
431
00:15:39,374 --> 00:15:40,834
I choose you every day,
432
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,945
and I love her
more than I show.
433
00:15:43,828 --> 00:15:46,078
Okay, sweetheart.
Let's get you inside.
434
00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:48,364
I'll throw on a couple
of steaks for both of us.
435
00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:51,390
What the hell dog is this?
436
00:15:51,522 --> 00:15:53,366
- It's Stella.
- No, it's not.
437
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,652
Eight years,
you don't recognize our dog?
438
00:15:55,738 --> 00:15:58,530
Well, 10 years,
and you don't notice one haircut?
439
00:15:59,945 --> 00:16:03,054
By the time we got through to the vet,
the surgery was over.
440
00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:04,265
And Stella was fine.
441
00:16:04,351 --> 00:16:06,366
I just have to say
Gloria really stepped up
442
00:16:06,452 --> 00:16:08,101
and nursed my baby back
to health.
443
00:16:08,288 --> 00:16:09,859
Only one problem.
444
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:11,814
Stella choose me now.
445
00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,939
It's not real.
You give her pain meds.
446
00:16:14,025 --> 00:16:16,140
It's like she's sucking
up to her dealer.
447
00:16:17,093 --> 00:16:18,202
Hi, Bill.
448
00:16:18,288 --> 00:16:19,343
- Hey.
- Come on in.
449
00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,715
Thanks. Is, uh,
Mr. Dunphy around, too?
450
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,085
Uh, no,
he's probably on his way back,
451
00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:25,617
and we should definitely
wait for him.
452
00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:27,492
Oh. I actually have
to get to work pretty soon.
453
00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:29,149
Do you think maybe you could
just speak for the both of you?
454
00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:32,008
Nope.
Phil is very opinionated.
455
00:16:32,171 --> 00:16:34,944
And strict.
"What I say goes around here."
456
00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:36,997
He's a very scary customer.
457
00:16:37,491 --> 00:16:39,266
Okay. I don't really have a choice here.
458
00:16:39,351 --> 00:16:40,452
Mm-hmm.
459
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,153
Mr. and Mrs. Dunphy...
460
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,288
would you be willing to take
a chance on a guy like me
461
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,609
- and let me...
- Alex is too young to get married.
462
00:16:49,788 --> 00:16:51,878
I'm sorry.
Phil, who is very quick to anger,
463
00:16:51,963 --> 00:16:53,029
would never allow it.
464
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,186
Oh, I wasn't asking to marry Alex.
465
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,206
What... What's happening?
466
00:16:59,472 --> 00:17:00,706
And then it got weirder.
467
00:17:00,972 --> 00:17:02,489
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Hmm?
468
00:17:02,574 --> 00:17:05,125
I give you my new invention,
469
00:17:05,284 --> 00:17:08,662
the Pull-Yourself-Up-
By-Your-Bootstraps-TM.
470
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,399
How many times
has this happened to you?
471
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,965
You're in bed, asleep.
472
00:17:12,089 --> 00:17:13,400
All of a sudden...
473
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:14,884
Oh, no.
474
00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:17,394
It's an earthquake.
No time to get dressed.
475
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,964
I'm gonna have to run out
into the street naked again.
476
00:17:21,058 --> 00:17:22,992
- Huh.
- Unless...
477
00:17:23,094 --> 00:17:24,284
Oh.
478
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,333
And I'm out the door in seconds.
479
00:17:30,435 --> 00:17:32,337
- Oh, okay.
- That's it?
480
00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,821
You didn't come to ask
for my hand in marriage?
481
00:17:34,906 --> 00:17:36,572
Wh... Of course not.
482
00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:37,524
What do you mean, "of course not"?
483
00:17:37,609 --> 00:17:38,782
What are we doing, Bill?
484
00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:39,777
Honey, take the win.
485
00:17:39,878 --> 00:17:41,394
Okay, first of all,
486
00:17:41,571 --> 00:17:43,790
you're a super smart,
independent woman
487
00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:45,384
with an amazing future
ahead of you.
488
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,533
Why would you want to
get married right now?
489
00:17:46,618 --> 00:17:47,534
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So, what were you doing
490
00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:49,001
in that jewelry store yesterday?
491
00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:50,770
I was getting a battery for my watch.
492
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,173
- How did you know I was in a jewelry store?
- And what about that text you s...
493
00:17:53,258 --> 00:17:54,181
For what it's worth,
494
00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:56,742
if that's what I thought you wanted,
I would propose today.
495
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:59,438
- Hmm.
- I'm pretty sure you're my forever someone.
496
00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:01,352
Really?
497
00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,495
Alexandra Dunphy...
498
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,201
- would you...
- Mom!
499
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,337
Okay, everybody up. All right.
500
00:18:07,439 --> 00:18:09,453
There we go. A lot of fires to put out.
501
00:18:09,539 --> 00:18:10,957
Next time, I'll get to the end.
502
00:18:11,102 --> 00:18:12,883
Next time, I might be ready.
503
00:18:13,318 --> 00:18:16,619
Ugh. Not a fan of
liberated Alex.
504
00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:19,821
Ugh.
505
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,047
Lovely night.
506
00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:27,440
What are you doing here?
507
00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:29,680
I called Ronaldo
looking for you.
508
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,914
I come to this place
509
00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:37,571
when life turns out
not to be a musical.
510
00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:39,286
I'm up here a lot.
511
00:18:39,406 --> 00:18:41,125
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
512
00:18:41,306 --> 00:18:44,813
Well, Phil, you're not the first
person to find me a tad trying.
513
00:18:45,076 --> 00:18:48,258
This may shock you,
but I don't have many friends.
514
00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:53,366
Express some shock, Phil.
515
00:18:53,451 --> 00:18:55,094
But you have tons
of friends.
516
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,102
Mitch and Cam love you.
517
00:18:57,355 --> 00:19:00,211
Yeah, they're okay
in small doses.
518
00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:02,805
And a straight-guy friend,
never.
519
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,430
A lot of straight guys
find me...
520
00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:07,422
- Annoying?
- Intimidating.
521
00:19:07,508 --> 00:19:10,164
Wait for me to finish.
This isn't Mad Libs.
522
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,977
Don't you believe that
I like you, though, Pepper?
523
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,391
I want to,
but maybe I'm just a big,
524
00:19:15,477 --> 00:19:17,555
fat mother's purse
to you.
525
00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,694
I'm your friend,
Pepper.
526
00:19:20,779 --> 00:19:22,360
What are you doing?
527
00:19:22,446 --> 00:19:24,701
This is a yellow suit!
528
00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:26,406
♪ Till the end, Pepper ♪
529
00:19:26,492 --> 00:19:27,953
You're making a scene!
530
00:19:28,286 --> 00:19:30,470
♪ I know that old line ♪
531
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:35,375
♪ But as soon as I sign,
he'll toss me aside like ♪
532
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,493
♪ Yesterday's wine ♪
533
00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:40,430
♪ My heart's on my sleeve ♪
534
00:19:40,532 --> 00:19:43,094
♪ I want to believe ♪
535
00:19:43,211 --> 00:19:45,018
This is weird.
We're people!
536
00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,119
Look.
537
00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,720
The only way
you're ever gonna find out
538
00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:49,705
if we're friends is
if you buy that house
539
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:51,191
and see if I stick around.
540
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,778
Seems like
an expensive experiment.
541
00:19:54,618 --> 00:19:57,856
Sign the offer...
if you love the house.
542
00:19:58,052 --> 00:19:59,271
Either that or fire me.
543
00:19:59,396 --> 00:20:01,153
It's the only way
you're gonna know.
544
00:20:07,725 --> 00:20:09,142
- My heart is in your...
- I'll see you.
545
00:20:09,227 --> 00:20:11,083
I knew it.
Assassin!
546
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:12,962
I'm messing
with you.
547
00:20:13,064 --> 00:20:14,964
That's what I do
with my friends.
548
00:20:15,066 --> 00:20:18,130
Oh. I see.
Delightful.
549
00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,286
I'm new
at straight chummery.
550
00:20:25,243 --> 00:20:27,602
Stop checking
your watch, Phil.
551
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,187
Oh, no!
552
00:20:34,509 --> 00:20:35,976
It's the big one!
553
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,046
And I'm not dressed!
554
00:20:38,522 --> 00:20:40,203
Grab the earthquake kit!
555
00:20:40,716 --> 00:20:43,695
Everybody,
get under a table!
556
00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:47,382
There's cash in the freezer!
557
00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:53,257
Honey,
we got to get in on this.
558
00:20:53,692 --> 00:20:56,359
Ah. My high-school boyfriend
could have used that.
559
00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,429
You ruined it.
41470
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