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1
00:00:01,883 --> 00:00:03,189
[screeches]
2
00:00:03,232 --> 00:00:05,408
ADULT SHELDON: A fossil is formed
3
00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:07,367
when an organism,
preserved in sediment,
4
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:08,803
undergoes physical compression
5
00:00:08,847 --> 00:00:10,500
over millions of years.
[thunder crashes]
6
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:13,199
Less than one
ten-thousandth percent
7
00:00:13,242 --> 00:00:14,591
of living organisms
will become fossils.
8
00:00:14,635 --> 00:00:16,985
Isn't it amazing
9
00:00:17,029 --> 00:00:20,206
that something so fragile
can defy those odds,
10
00:00:20,249 --> 00:00:22,251
only to have this happen to it...
11
00:00:23,383 --> 00:00:25,777
I don't think you did that right.
12
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:28,040
[school bell rings]
GIVENS: All right, everyone,
13
00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:30,520
we'll pick it up here tomorrow.
I-If we're lucky,
14
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,349
we may find a fossil as old
as lunch lady Phyllis.
15
00:00:34,829 --> 00:00:37,614
You people don't know
what's funny.
16
00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:39,791
TOMMY: Cooper!
17
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:44,186
Will you put these away for me?
18
00:00:44,230 --> 00:00:46,058
Sure.
19
00:00:46,101 --> 00:00:48,060
You better watch yourself.
20
00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:50,149
I will, I-I really will.
21
00:00:50,192 --> 00:00:52,107
'Cause you know what's
gonna happen if you don't.
22
00:00:57,721 --> 00:00:59,245
Who was that?
23
00:00:59,288 --> 00:01:00,550
No one.
24
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,422
Why did he push you?
25
00:01:02,465 --> 00:01:03,858
None of your business.
26
00:01:03,902 --> 00:01:07,383
But that was a clear violation
of the student code of conduct.
27
00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:08,776
We need to tell on him.
28
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:11,257
We're not telling on anyone,
stay out of it.
29
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:12,562
But the student code of conduct...
30
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,913
Drop it.
31
00:01:14,956 --> 00:01:17,654
ADULT SHELDON: So I did drop it...
32
00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:19,439
[sighs]
33
00:01:19,482 --> 00:01:20,875
ADULT SHELDON: ...for six whole minutes.
34
00:01:20,919 --> 00:01:22,442
Excuse me, sir.
35
00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,574
When you're done urinating,
I'd like to ask you
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:28,056
some questions about
social dynamics, intimidation,
37
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,884
threats, et cetera.
38
00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:34,367
Finish up, no hurry.
39
00:01:34,410 --> 00:01:37,283
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
40
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
41
00:01:40,155 --> 00:01:42,766
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
42
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:46,075
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
43
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,160
Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==
44
00:01:50,088 --> 00:01:52,438
[urinal flushes]
45
00:01:53,570 --> 00:01:55,113
What is your problem?
46
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:56,688
Oh, I don't have a problem.
47
00:01:56,731 --> 00:01:59,038
You should probably
wash your hands.
48
00:02:00,648 --> 00:02:04,783
I just witnessed an altercation
between you and Georgie Cooper.
49
00:02:04,826 --> 00:02:06,263
Altercation?
50
00:02:06,306 --> 00:02:09,092
A confrontation,
a tussle. Anyway,
51
00:02:09,135 --> 00:02:12,878
I'd just like to gather more
information for sociological purposes.
52
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:16,795
Oh, I heard about you,
you're that smart kid.
53
00:02:16,838 --> 00:02:20,277
I'd like to be humble in this
moment, but yes, that's me.
54
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,105
Sheldon Cooper, at your service.
55
00:02:22,148 --> 00:02:25,891
- So Georgie's your brother?
- Correct.
56
00:02:25,934 --> 00:02:28,067
And you're trying to protect him?
57
00:02:28,111 --> 00:02:32,071
Incorrect. I'm just curious
what he did to incur your wrath.
58
00:02:32,115 --> 00:02:33,986
Also, kudos on the hand washing.
59
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,119
Your brother's a punk.
60
00:02:36,162 --> 00:02:38,730
I'm not familiar with that terminology.
61
00:02:38,773 --> 00:02:40,993
He tried to hit on my girlfriend.
62
00:02:41,037 --> 00:02:44,518
Interesting. So he openly
pursued your mate,
63
00:02:44,562 --> 00:02:45,998
and to re-assert dominance,
64
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:48,087
you threatened him
with physical violence.
65
00:02:48,131 --> 00:02:49,915
Hell yeah, I did.
66
00:02:49,958 --> 00:02:51,525
I understand that.
67
00:02:51,569 --> 00:02:54,528
I often intimidate people
with my intelligence.
68
00:02:59,316 --> 00:03:02,145
Well, one of us scared him.
69
00:03:03,842 --> 00:03:06,236
[camera shutter clicking]
MARCUS: All right.
70
00:03:06,279 --> 00:03:09,543
Next. Missy Cooper.
71
00:03:11,719 --> 00:03:14,331
Just a heads-up,
this is my good side.
72
00:03:14,374 --> 00:03:16,724
Okay...
73
00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:19,510
Do your parents know
you're wearing that makeup?
74
00:03:19,553 --> 00:03:21,251
Oh, yeah, my mom knows.
75
00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:25,168
You sure?
Because typically it's not allowed.
76
00:03:25,211 --> 00:03:27,518
If you don't believe me,
you can ask her.
77
00:03:27,561 --> 00:03:30,825
Okay, we're gonna give her a call.
78
00:03:32,871 --> 00:03:34,655
Really?
79
00:03:34,699 --> 00:03:37,658
Good news, I just spoke
to Tommy Clarkson.
80
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:39,530
What? Are you crazy?
81
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:41,140
Nope, Mom had me tested.
82
00:03:41,184 --> 00:03:43,316
And Tommy's actually nicer
than you think.
83
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,013
I told you to stay out of it.
84
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:46,667
True, but what you
didn't tell me
85
00:03:46,711 --> 00:03:48,974
was that you were overly chummy
with his girlfriend,
86
00:03:49,017 --> 00:03:50,845
which is why he wants
to kick your bottom.
87
00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:53,109
I'm about to kick your bottom.
88
00:03:55,154 --> 00:03:57,461
I don't think so.
89
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:58,723
H-Hey, Tommy.
90
00:03:58,766 --> 00:04:00,812
How you doing?
91
00:04:00,855 --> 00:04:04,903
You got a problem with him,
you got a problem with me.
92
00:04:04,946 --> 00:04:06,948
And just to make his logic clear,
93
00:04:06,992 --> 00:04:08,689
you do have a problem with me.
94
00:04:08,733 --> 00:04:11,692
Don't listen to my brother, I don't
have a problem with anybody.
95
00:04:11,736 --> 00:04:13,825
You need to apologize.
96
00:04:13,868 --> 00:04:15,348
I-I'm very sorry.
97
00:04:15,392 --> 00:04:16,828
To him.
98
00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,438
I'm very sorry, Sheldon.
99
00:04:21,572 --> 00:04:23,356
Later, kid.
100
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:26,751
See? He's nice.
101
00:04:36,502 --> 00:04:38,417
What were you even thinking?
102
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:40,767
I was thinking I look hot.
103
00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:42,943
You know you're not allowed
to wear makeup.
104
00:04:42,986 --> 00:04:44,640
That's why I didn't tell you.
105
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:47,252
And who gave it to you?
Heather B.? Heather M.?
106
00:04:47,295 --> 00:04:48,818
Meemaw.
107
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:51,386
So your grandmother was okay
with you looking like this
108
00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:52,561
in your school pictures?
109
00:04:52,605 --> 00:04:54,563
If you don't believe me, ask her.
110
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,739
Oh, I'm going to.
111
00:04:56,783 --> 00:04:59,612
Really?
112
00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:01,135
CURT CHAPLIN: These are the plaintiffs,
113
00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:02,789
Valerie and Anthony Sines.
114
00:05:02,832 --> 00:05:05,008
Valerie claims she was
sitting on the front steps
115
00:05:05,052 --> 00:05:07,359
of her condo with her cat Scampi,
116
00:05:07,402 --> 00:05:10,579
and that's when his dog went
after Scampi, injuring her.
117
00:05:10,623 --> 00:05:13,365
What are you watching?
Go away.
118
00:05:13,408 --> 00:05:15,193
Are you angry with me?
119
00:05:15,236 --> 00:05:17,020
I don't want to see
your face right now.
120
00:05:17,064 --> 00:05:20,763
Very well, but I'd like
to watch Professor Proton.
121
00:05:20,807 --> 00:05:22,765
Did you hear me? Go away.
122
00:05:22,809 --> 00:05:24,724
Well, did you hear me?
123
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:26,639
I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
124
00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:29,642
Too bad.
Interesting.
125
00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:31,818
I wonder how my new friend
Tommy Clarkson
126
00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:33,167
would feel about this.
127
00:05:33,211 --> 00:05:34,821
Well, he's not here, is he?
128
00:05:34,864 --> 00:05:37,389
No, he's not.
129
00:05:37,432 --> 00:05:40,043
I guess I'll just have to call him.
130
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:41,654
You're kidding.
131
00:05:41,697 --> 00:05:43,569
CHAPLIN: ...the case of
132
00:05:43,612 --> 00:05:45,266
a taste of Scampi
133
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:46,920
after these messages.
134
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:49,488
Are you going to put on
Professor Proton?
135
00:05:49,531 --> 00:05:50,619
No.
136
00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:52,534
Hmm.
137
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:03,328
Okay, okay.
138
00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,157
Thank you.
139
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:11,988
I didn't hear a "you're welcome."
140
00:06:12,032 --> 00:06:13,338
GEORGE JR.: Shut up!
141
00:06:13,381 --> 00:06:14,600
[door slams]We'll work on that.
142
00:06:14,643 --> 00:06:17,037
PROFESSOR PROTON: It's time for science!
143
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,213
[door closes]
Hello.
144
00:06:19,257 --> 00:06:21,998
Well, don't you look like Madonna?
145
00:06:22,042 --> 00:06:23,304
Thank you.
146
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,001
I was actually trying to look like you.
147
00:06:25,045 --> 00:06:26,786
Thank you.
148
00:06:26,829 --> 00:06:29,354
Why would you give her makeup
without talking to me first?
149
00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:30,964
I didn't give her any makeup.
150
00:06:31,007 --> 00:06:33,532
Well, then, one of you is lying.
151
00:06:33,575 --> 00:06:34,533
MEEMAW and MISSY: She is.
152
00:06:34,576 --> 00:06:36,361
Time to come clean little lady.
153
00:06:36,404 --> 00:06:38,014
I ain't taking the hit on this one.
154
00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:41,627
I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.
155
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,673
Oh, Missy, you are in a world of trouble.
156
00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:47,067
Calm down, it's not that big a deal.
157
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,416
It is so a big deal!
158
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,984
She stole from you,
and then she lied about it.
159
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:53,465
I know, but come on,
she's only ten.
160
00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:56,468
She's gonna do way stupider
stuff when she's older.
161
00:06:56,511 --> 00:06:57,643
Guaranteed.
162
00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:58,948
I don't care.
163
00:06:58,992 --> 00:07:01,299
She is my daughter
and you will be punished.
164
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:04,780
Sorry, kid.
165
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,261
I wish I was your daughter.
166
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,786
Is that so?
167
00:07:12,005 --> 00:07:13,485
Well, guess what?
168
00:07:13,528 --> 00:07:15,008
You're sleeping here tonight
169
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:17,315
because I don't feel like
being around either one of you.
170
00:07:18,707 --> 00:07:20,622
Great!
171
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:23,843
[door slams shut]
Yeah, great.
172
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:32,634
Georgie, be a lamb
and get me a Yoo-hoo.
173
00:07:32,678 --> 00:07:34,114
Get your own.
174
00:07:34,157 --> 00:07:37,117
Hmm. Are you sure
you want to speak to me
175
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,640
in that tone of voice?
176
00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:41,469
Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.
177
00:07:41,513 --> 00:07:44,037
That's too bad.
I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
178
00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:46,996
Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
179
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,433
You think you're so tough now,
180
00:07:48,476 --> 00:07:50,086
- I swear, one day I'm...
- GEORGE SR.: Hey.
181
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,261
What's going on?
182
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,654
Sheldon's being a jerk.
183
00:07:52,698 --> 00:07:54,003
That true?
184
00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:56,397
All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
185
00:07:56,441 --> 00:07:57,877
He's leaving out the part where he...
186
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,400
[clears throat]
187
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:02,490
[sighs] Forget it.
188
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,014
Great. Done.
189
00:08:05,058 --> 00:08:06,494
SHELDON: Georgie,
190
00:08:06,538 --> 00:08:10,063
at the risk of repeating myself...
191
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:12,457
[sighs]
192
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,416
And one from the back, so it's cold.
193
00:08:23,424 --> 00:08:26,558
So when, exactly, did you swipe my makeup?
194
00:08:26,601 --> 00:08:27,820
While you were at bowling league.
195
00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:29,778
You don't have a key to this house.
196
00:08:29,822 --> 00:08:30,779
How'd you get in?
197
00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:31,867
Can't tell you that.
198
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,173
I might need to do it again.
199
00:08:33,216 --> 00:08:35,654
Unbelievable.
200
00:08:35,697 --> 00:08:38,831
And for future reference,
go lighter on the blush,
201
00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:41,007
or you'll end up looking
like Raggedy Ann.
202
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:44,271
She got Raggedy Andy
looking like that.
203
00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:47,100
He's her brother.
Oh.
204
00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:49,581
I've been playing
with those dolls all wrong.
205
00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:51,800
All right, that'll do it.
206
00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:55,891
How old was Mom when
you let her wear makeup?
207
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,981
I don't know, I didn't really
have rules like that.
208
00:08:59,025 --> 00:09:02,463
See? How come you're so cool
and she's such a dud?
209
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:04,291
Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
210
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:05,553
What would you call her?
211
00:09:05,597 --> 00:09:08,295
Point is, she wasn't always like that.
212
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:09,557
What was she like?
213
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:13,909
When she was a teenager,
she was just wild.
214
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:15,911
- Really?
- [laughing]: Oh, yeah.
215
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,783
She used to wait
until I went to sleep
216
00:09:17,826 --> 00:09:19,219
and then she would sneak out
217
00:09:19,262 --> 00:09:20,916
and get into trouble
with her friends.
218
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,614
- My mom?
- Your mom.
219
00:09:22,657 --> 00:09:25,791
And then she would
climb up the tree
220
00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:28,184
on the side of the house
and sneak back in.
221
00:09:28,228 --> 00:09:30,099
Amazing.
222
00:09:30,143 --> 00:09:32,188
Is that how you're getting in?
223
00:09:32,232 --> 00:09:34,539
I will never tell you that.
224
00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:36,584
[laughing]
225
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,159
Everything okay?
226
00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:50,119
I'm getting tired of being
the bad guy around here.
227
00:09:50,163 --> 00:09:51,773
You're not the bad guy.
228
00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:53,471
[stammers]
Kids need boundaries.
229
00:09:53,514 --> 00:09:54,733
That is easy
230
00:09:54,776 --> 00:09:56,952
for you to say.
I am the only one doing it,
231
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,954
and then everyone
resents me for it.
232
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,652
Hey, you're not the only one.
233
00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:02,523
Just today, Georgie and Sheldon
were fighting,
234
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,525
and I totally took care of it.
235
00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:06,527
Really? What was going on?
236
00:10:06,571 --> 00:10:09,748
They... you know, boy stuff.
237
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,010
I...
238
00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:13,969
Don't worry. I got your back.
239
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,451
Thank you. That means a lot.
240
00:10:17,495 --> 00:10:19,497
Teamwork, babe.
241
00:10:21,194 --> 00:10:24,589
Look, right...
242
00:10:24,632 --> 00:10:26,765
here.
243
00:10:26,808 --> 00:10:29,028
That's my mom?
[chuckles]
244
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:33,032
Yep, the little queen of darkness.
245
00:10:33,075 --> 00:10:35,774
Is she smoking a cigarette?
246
00:10:35,817 --> 00:10:39,168
Yep. Probably stole it from me.
247
00:10:39,212 --> 00:10:41,170
When did she stop being cool?
248
00:10:41,214 --> 00:10:43,869
Well, first of all,
smoking is not cool.
249
00:10:43,912 --> 00:10:45,871
You do it. Yeah, well, next time
250
00:10:45,914 --> 00:10:48,003
I'm hocking up some black goo
out of my lung,
251
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,353
I'll call you over
and you can see how cool it is.
252
00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:52,965
- Awesome.
- It is not awesome.
253
00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:55,271
And as far as your mom,
I think things started
254
00:10:55,315 --> 00:10:58,405
to turn around for her
when she gave birth to you.
255
00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,233
You mean me and Sheldon.
256
00:11:00,276 --> 00:11:02,017
No, I mean you.
257
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:05,455
I mean, Sheldon was born fine,
but you were a different story.
258
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:06,761
Why?
259
00:11:06,805 --> 00:11:08,763
Okay.
260
00:11:08,807 --> 00:11:13,681
Well, there was a point
where the doctors didn't know
261
00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:15,422
if you were gonna make it.
262
00:11:15,465 --> 00:11:18,599
And your mom got so scared,
and she made a promise to God
263
00:11:18,643 --> 00:11:23,082
that if you were okay,
that she would start reading
264
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:26,172
the Bible, going to church...
265
00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:28,609
you know, that kind of stuff.
266
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:30,742
So I'm the reason she's a dud?
267
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:32,657
Your takeaway should be
268
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:36,617
that you are the reason she's
such a good mom, which she is.
269
00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:38,140
And the next time
you hurt her feelings...
270
00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,142
Which you will...
271
00:11:40,186 --> 00:11:44,320
You might remember
how much you mean to her.
272
00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:48,586
Now I feel bad.
273
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,591
Good.
274
00:11:55,593 --> 00:11:58,117
ADULT SHELDON: News of
my friendship with Tommy
275
00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,901
had apparently spread.
276
00:11:59,945 --> 00:12:02,643
So much so,
the student body was finally
277
00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:06,212
treating me
with the respect I deserved,
278
00:12:06,255 --> 00:12:08,257
even when Tommy wasn't around.
279
00:12:12,044 --> 00:12:16,135
This must be how Carl Sagan felt,
walking through the halls of PBS.
280
00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:24,351
ADULT SHELDON: Like
Superman in a phone booth,
281
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:27,398
I was no stranger to undressing
in my gym locker.
282
00:12:27,441 --> 00:12:29,139
But not today.
283
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,185
Thanks to Tommy,
I was invincible.
284
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,404
[whistle blows]
285
00:12:33,447 --> 00:12:35,536
All right, get your butts
out to the gym.
286
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,974
Wind sprints in one minute.
287
00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:40,890
[whistle blows]
288
00:12:43,718 --> 00:12:45,459
Come on, Jason,
I'm gonna be late.
289
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,678
Poor baby.
290
00:12:46,721 --> 00:12:48,680
[Jason chuckles]
291
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,423
Excuse me.
292
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:53,946
I'd like to ask you
some questions
293
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:57,210
about your use of intimidation
to dominate others.
294
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,087
Are you trying
to get your ass kicked?
295
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:07,960
No, I was just looking to open
a spirited dialogue.
296
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,788
And you might want to unhand me.
297
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,964
I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.
298
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,139
Is that so?
299
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,575
Yes.
300
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,404
Hello, Tommy.
301
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,145
I have some unfortunate news.
302
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:19,685
What's that?
303
00:13:19,686 --> 00:13:22,627
I boasted to Jason Davies
that you're my friend,
304
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:24,455
and things took
an unexpected turn.
305
00:13:24,498 --> 00:13:25,978
You're scheduled to
fight him at 3:00 p.m.
306
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,849
on the basketball court.
307
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,288
I don't want to fight Jason Davies.
308
00:13:31,331 --> 00:13:34,160
I don't think you have a choice.
He was pretty adamant.
309
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,642
Fine, I'll deal with it.
310
00:13:37,685 --> 00:13:40,253
You do have the option
of simply not showing up.
311
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,516
That's not how fights work, Sheldon.
312
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,302
Why? Do they take attendance?
313
00:13:46,346 --> 00:13:48,348
[clock ticking]
314
00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:57,053
What on Earth did you say to Missy?
315
00:13:57,096 --> 00:14:00,882
- Why? What'd she do now?
- Nothing, she was an angel.
316
00:14:00,926 --> 00:14:02,188
I dropped her off at school,
317
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,886
and she hugged me
in front of her friends.
318
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,627
- Really?
- And not just any friends.
319
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:10,370
Heather M. Was there,
and that is a big deal.
320
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,677
I just gave her
a little life advice.
321
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,070
Like what?
322
00:14:14,113 --> 00:14:17,029
Nothing, just grandma stuff.
323
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:21,816
There you go again,
being the good guy.
324
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,645
Mary, you need to know
325
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,866
you're doing a fantastic job
with those kids.
326
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,260
You really mean that?
327
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,045
I really do.Thanks.
328
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:37,658
I can't remember the last time
someone said I was a good mom.
329
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:42,489
It's not a job that gets
a lot of compliments.
330
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,193
TAM: Look at this, my
mother left me a note.
331
00:14:50,236 --> 00:14:54,066
"You can do better. Mom."
332
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,808
Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom,"
333
00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:58,462
just "Mom."
334
00:14:58,505 --> 00:15:01,204
ADULT SHELDON: While Tam prattled on
about some family nonsense,
335
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:02,901
I couldn't help
but think about Tommy.
336
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,905
At 3:00 pm, he was going to
engage in a schoolyard battle
337
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,994
that was entirely my fault.
338
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,301
I had to find a way
to intervene, but how?
339
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,477
TAM: Ooh, a Nutter Butter.
340
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,218
Maybe she does love me.
341
00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:17,002
[school bell rings]
342
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:20,962
[crowd cheering]
BOY: Face-punching time!
343
00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:22,181
Jason, let's do it!
344
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,140
[chanting]: Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
345
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,793
Fight! Fight!
346
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,752
[Jason growls]
347
00:15:27,795 --> 00:15:29,232
Come on, Jason. Kick his ass.
348
00:15:35,629 --> 00:15:37,762
ADULT SHELDON: I didn't have
the physical stature to assist
349
00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:40,286
Tommy in a brawl,
but I did have something
350
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,462
far more lethal:
351
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:45,161
My once in a generation brain.
352
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,730
[students chanting]: Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
353
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:53,169
[chanting continues]
354
00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:54,735
[cheering]
355
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,088
I didn't think you'd show up.
356
00:15:59,131 --> 00:16:01,829
Well, I did.
357
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,918
Let's do this.
358
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:05,790
SHELDON: Stop!
359
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,925
You're not fighting Tommy,
you're fighting me.
360
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,231
[laughter]
361
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:13,493
Oh, boy.
362
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,929
Unless you want to shake hands
363
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:18,411
and we all laugh about this
over a glass of milk.
364
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:21,110
I think I'd rather kick
both your asses.
365
00:16:21,153 --> 00:16:23,155
I was afraid you'd say that.
366
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,852
Are you familiar with the story
367
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:27,768
of David and Goliath from the Bible?
368
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,118
Yeah.
369
00:16:29,161 --> 00:16:30,945
That's too bad.
370
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,122
I had a nice speech prepared.
371
00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:35,950
I'll say it anyway.
372
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,475
You may have the size advantage,
373
00:16:38,518 --> 00:16:40,259
but like David and his sling,
374
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,480
I also possess an
air-based weapon.
375
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,180
So I'll give you
one more chance.
376
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,182
Are you willing to step down?
377
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,357
[students exclaiming]
378
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,446
I'll tell you what:
379
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:57,494
You take the first shot,
then it's my turn.
380
00:16:57,537 --> 00:16:59,583
Very well.
381
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:01,280
[rubber creaking]
382
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,542
Three...
383
00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:05,197
...two...
384
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:09,767
...one.
385
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:20,691
Ow! Son of a bitch!
386
00:17:20,734 --> 00:17:22,519
[laughter, cheering]
387
00:17:23,563 --> 00:17:25,783
[growls]
388
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,787
I'm going to run.
389
00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:36,679
ADULT SHELDON: Conventional
wisdom tells us
390
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,416
that when one stands up
to a bully, the bully
391
00:17:39,417 --> 00:17:42,573
will inevitably back down and
respect you for your courage.
392
00:17:42,617 --> 00:17:44,706
My experience suggests otherwise.
393
00:17:44,749 --> 00:17:47,970
SHELDON: Hello? Hello?
394
00:17:48,013 --> 00:17:49,624
ADULT SHELDON: When
Jason finally caught me,
395
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:52,453
he had the good sense not
to commit assault and battery.
396
00:17:52,496 --> 00:17:53,976
This did not, however,
prevent him
397
00:17:54,019 --> 00:17:56,108
from imprisoning me
in his locker.
398
00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:58,763
Anybody?
399
00:17:58,807 --> 00:18:00,678
That was a very long night.
400
00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:02,941
It doesn't smell good in here.
401
00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:04,160
Very long.
28406
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