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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:05,499
Anyone watching, thinking we know
fuck all about knowing fuck all
2
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,259
about owt, needs
to watch their back...
3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,659
So you've had your Labour,
reclassifying skunk,
4
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:13,779
sending prices sky-high - literally.
5
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:17,699
Literally, taking the grass
from its own roots!
6
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:19,859
And now you've got your
Con-Dem-nation...
7
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:23,259
Liberals noshing Tories
like altar boys picking dimps up!
8
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:27,099
Have we had
a national fucking stroke or what?
9
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:30,019
Is revolution a word...
10
00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:31,299
or was it never?
11
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:35,139
Anybody watching needs to know,
we cope better than average
12
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:36,779
with irony in Chatsworth.
13
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:39,099
Well, for fuck's sake,
we live in Manchester
14
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:43,099
and they charge us for water?!
15
00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:47,819
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found.
16
00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:51,539
This green and pleasant land
in ancient times...
17
00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:54,139
Yak-yak-yak,
yak-yak-yak, yak-yak-yak!
18
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:57,419
It's not theirs anymore.
19
00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:01,099
This is our England now.
20
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:05,099
Party!
21
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:13,499
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
22
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:17,819
I'm sorry.
23
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,059
They say that it only takes
two generations for people
24
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:31,059
to forget your name.
25
00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:34,979
I thought this was bullshit until I
realised I didn't know my grandmother's,
26
00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:38,499
never mind my great grandmother's.
Or my granddad's.
27
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:42,499
Two generations, and gone.
28
00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:55,859
We're told you live on through
your kids, but I ain't got any,
29
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,739
so that's that theory fucked.
30
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:58,779
Get your tits out.
31
00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:02,219
'You can live on through your deeds
and that's great,
32
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:04,739
'so long as you're discovering
penicillin.' Fuck.
33
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:08,219
'Who's going to remember me giving
a punter his best orgasm yet?
34
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:12,219
'Besides the punter, obviously.'
35
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,419
So for me and you,
the ordinary folk, the cannon fodder,
36
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:25,419
once we've popped our clogs,
that's it.
37
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:33,299
So the best idea would be
to spread a little happiness
38
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,659
while we're still
in the here and now.
39
00:02:35,660 --> 00:02:39,659
Shine a little light
into the dark corner.
40
00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:43,939
Make a difference.
41
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:49,219
Absolutely gone with the wind.
42
00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:52,419
(BABY GURGLES)
43
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:53,779
(CLEARS THROAT)
44
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,939
What else was it, Frank?
45
00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:59,259
Sorry, Mimi, voddy - double...
46
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:03,099
Oh.
47
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,099
..crisps...nuts.
48
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:15,139
Ta. And change?
49
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:19,139
I gave you 20.
50
00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:28,499
Two pints, two double vodkas, crisps,
nuts. 9.60, please.
51
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,899
No charge for taking the piss
out of my mum.
52
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:34,899
But if you do it again, I'll take
it out on your fucking face.
53
00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:39,299
Mam, what's going on with you?
Frank Gallagher with a 20?
54
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:40,539
Ches taking the piss?
55
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:44,539
I don't know
if I'm coming or fucking going.
56
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,659
Mimi, d'you want to get off
and have a kip - you look knackered.
57
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:55,659
Keep hold of her a minute,
I've just got to run to the bog.
58
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,859
And Aunty Anna was only 42.
59
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,939
They said two years,
she barely lasted six months.
60
00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:06,939
Oh, yeah, I knew a bloke got three
years. He was on remand that long,
61
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:10,219
he was out before he was in.
Cat burglar name of Pussy Willow.
62
00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:12,539
I'm not getting maudlin.
I've got things to do.
63
00:04:12,540 --> 00:04:14,579
Plans to make. Less work, more play
64
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:17,899
and I'm going to try like fuck to put
a smile on your mother's face.
65
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:21,219
We'll have that place like a palace
by the time we've finished.
66
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,739
Little oasis for her.
67
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:26,739
Diddy Noel and lickle Liam of her
very own, like a welcome home party.
68
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:32,059
It's invitation only, Frank. Shane
wants me to do a bit of stripping.
69
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:38,259
Come if you can handle it.
But...it might get dirty.
70
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,579
Settled in OK?
71
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:45,779
Loving it.
72
00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:49,779
All Bonnie's work.
73
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:54,259
This is fantastic.
So much done in so little time...
74
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,659
She's a logistical genius.
75
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:00,139
Easy for you to say.
76
00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,499
Believe me, it isn't.
77
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,939
I've been on at you for years to get
this place done up.
78
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:07,059
Never listened.
Knew Bonnie would work her magic.
79
00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:09,259
They used to call me
the anal girl at school.
80
00:05:09,260 --> 00:05:10,539
Early starter?
81
00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:12,059
On account of my organising skills.
82
00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:15,739
120 a go, they were.
Nearly give me a thrombo.
83
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:18,939
Get out your box,
Lillian, dream big.
84
00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,219
Broaden your horizons.
85
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,859
Plus, you'll make that back in
no time with the money
86
00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:25,499
you don't need to spend on
replacing the curtains.
87
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:29,139
Dirty bastards -
been wiping their cocks on them.
88
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,219
We're doing a bit
of decorating for Mimi.
89
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:34,019
D'you fancy popping round,
give us a bit of advice?
90
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:38,019
I'd love to.
91
00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,899
Typical Micky, a bit of work
to be done and he fucks off.
92
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,259
Where's he gone?
93
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:49,899
Team building exercise,
y'know for a few days with college.
94
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:53,899
♪ WHAM: Club Tropicana
95
00:05:57,740 --> 00:05:58,899
Sooner him than me.
96
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,779
So, anyway, Kel.
97
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,939
She's been having a tough time,
so she came up with the idea
98
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,379
of decorating this place for Mam.
99
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,779
Don't sound too keen.
100
00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:11,779
Chesney, the last thing I want to be
doing in my spare time is decorating.
101
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:14,259
Might be different if it
were our own place.
102
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:15,459
You do live here.
103
00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,659
It's not like
we had much choice.
104
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:20,299
Couldn't afford a place,
council told us to fuck off.
105
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,779
You've got it made, Mimi's got tea
on the table every night,
106
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,019
ironing done...
107
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:27,499
Yes, but the price that
you pay for that
108
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,699
is complete lack of privacy.
109
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:33,699
It's not like you, doing what you
like, to who you like, when you like.
110
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:37,699
Have I missed the stripping?
111
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:41,699
Oh, ha-fucking-ha.
112
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:46,979
MUSIC PLAYS
113
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,219
Where's Mum?
114
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,859
Don't you ever knock?
115
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:04,059
Out with the girls.
116
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:04,859
Girls?
117
00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:05,899
Girls?
From work.
118
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,179
There aren't any girls
at Mum's work,
119
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:09,699
there's no-one under the age of 60.
120
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:12,059
And where are you off?
121
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:14,099
Parents' evening.
122
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,139
In fancy dress?
123
00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:17,299
Meeting up with your mum
later for a drink.
124
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:18,939
On a Wednesday?
125
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,539
Since when have you started
to go out on Wednesdays?
126
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,819
Will you piss off!
127
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,619
What's with the third degree?
128
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:26,899
It's usually a Friday or a Saturday.
129
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:30,739
And what about my tea?
130
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:34,739
Downstairs cupboard, open, big
green tin with "beans" on the front.
131
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:43,219
He said he was going to
a parents' evening,
132
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,859
but I know that there isn't
a parents' evening.
133
00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:47,619
He was dressed like
he was on Pimp My Ride
134
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:50,379
and stunk like an air freshener.
135
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:51,979
What's he up to?
136
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:52,939
He's playing away.
137
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,419
I'm telling Mum.
138
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:56,299
And blow a golden opportunity? No.
139
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,859
Let him know you've rumbled him.
140
00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:00,979
Put the squeeze on, sit back
and watch the rewards roll in.
141
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,539
I can't, it's not right.
142
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:06,539
And him banging some slapper is?
143
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,219
Ladies.
144
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:16,219
Typical Gallagher, only turns up
when a job's nearly finished.
145
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:19,139
Yeah, fuck off, glory boy!
146
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:21,059
I'll just go home, then...
147
00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:22,499
Hey-hey-hey!
148
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,419
Carlos! Me old mucker!
149
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,699
And it's like a little thank you,
isn't it?
150
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,299
For putting a roof over
your heads and all that.
151
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,339
Exactly.
152
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:34,339
She's forgotten she kicked the whole thing off
in the first place, accused us of interfering.
153
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:39,779
Forgotten?
154
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,539
What, like dementia?
155
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:45,539
Runs in the family. She had a cousin
who thought he were Bono.
156
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:49,699
Had Nelson Mandela on speed dial.
157
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,739
Fuck've you done!?
158
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,699
Doing the place up.
159
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,699
I don't want it doing up.
160
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,859
See what I mean?
161
00:08:57,860 --> 00:08:59,659
You'll love it, honest.
162
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:03,659
Look at the new carpet
we've got coming...
163
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,459
Get out.
164
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:10,899
I said get out!
165
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,179
All right. I think we'd better
call it a night, thanks everyone.
166
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:18,179
Thanks very much for your help.
167
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:41,539
Grub up!
168
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:44,499
Hardly appropriate attire for dinner.
169
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:48,499
Hardly the appropriate time.
170
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:54,739
It's four o'clock
in the morning, Mimi.
171
00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:00,939
It's the middle of the night.
172
00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:02,139
Cilla's in our bed.
173
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,739
You must think I'm stupid.
174
00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,219
Mimi, what's wrong?
175
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:09,219
Nothing.
176
00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:11,659
Gotta get this lot tidied.
177
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:14,779
It'll do for our tea tomorrow.
178
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,939
Leave it, it'll keep.
179
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,979
Get to bed. This needs sorting.
180
00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,019
Then let me help...
181
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:24,019
(SHOUTS) I said get to bed!
182
00:10:35,491 --> 00:10:39,490
BABY CRIES
183
00:10:41,651 --> 00:10:45,650
(SOBS)
184
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,674
Go on, then. Dig in.
185
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,200
I don't actually think I'm
worthy to sit at your table.
186
00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,379
Don't go all biblical on me, son.
187
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,955
I'm just a dead weight.
Human luggage.
188
00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:01,607
I'm neither use nor ornament.
189
00:11:01,608 --> 00:11:04,766
You're my flesh and blood.
You might have the intellectual
190
00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:08,086
capacity of an amoeba,
but you've a heart of gold.
191
00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:11,235
And what mother wouldn't love you?
192
00:11:11,236 --> 00:11:13,635
After all I've done?
The pain I've caused?
193
00:11:13,636 --> 00:11:16,355
You're too like your
dad for your own good.
194
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:18,755
No-one knows better than Jamie.
195
00:11:18,756 --> 00:11:22,755
That'll be your downfall -
your arrogance. Your vanity.
196
00:11:22,996 --> 00:11:24,195
You're too good to me.
197
00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:28,195
I know. There's even a space in my
heart for you, you mad fucking slut.
198
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:34,715
Even though I tried to thieve your
home from under your nose?
199
00:11:34,716 --> 00:11:38,035
Thrown back every ounce of love
you've ever shown back in your face?
200
00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:39,915
You have embarrassed the fuck out
201
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:43,075
of me by not being able
to father a child of your own.
202
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:46,875
You look like a tramp, you smell
like a night on a wet riverbank
203
00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:50,395
and you're married to a woman who
sells her fanny for less than
204
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:53,275
the price of a Variety Bucket
of KFC.
205
00:11:53,276 --> 00:11:56,755
But I still love you.
That's just the woman I am.
206
00:11:56,756 --> 00:12:00,755
Now, this chicken
won't carve itself.
207
00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:04,835
Room for a little 'un?
208
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:08,835
No. No. NO!
209
00:12:16,556 --> 00:12:20,555
Oh, no!
210
00:12:21,196 --> 00:12:24,075
Then I'm going to have
to insist on payment in kind.
211
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,595
Well, if your husband's out,
I'll come round soon as
212
00:12:27,596 --> 00:12:31,595
and sort your pipes out, Mrs Smith.
I'll see you shortly.
213
00:12:34,156 --> 00:12:35,515
You were right.
214
00:12:35,516 --> 00:12:39,315
The old bastard's shagging
some slapper called Mrs Smith.
215
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,235
Just keep your eye on
the big picture.
216
00:12:41,236 --> 00:12:44,755
The big picture's my family
falling apart and it's all his fault.
217
00:12:44,756 --> 00:12:48,915
So start small, say 20,
218
00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:52,315
pile on the pressure over a few
weeks and work up to an iPad.
219
00:12:53,236 --> 00:12:57,235
Make him pay.
220
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:23,875
Aaargh!
221
00:13:43,836 --> 00:13:47,835
This is the devil's work.
222
00:13:47,836 --> 00:13:49,715
Who are you calling?
223
00:13:49,716 --> 00:13:53,715
Fuckin' Ghostbusters,
who do you think?
224
00:13:54,076 --> 00:13:55,515
Father McKenzie...
225
00:13:55,516 --> 00:13:57,635
the place needs to be exorcised.
226
00:13:57,636 --> 00:14:01,075
Fuck's sake, Mimi!
227
00:14:01,076 --> 00:14:02,275
(SHE HANGS UP)
228
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:03,835
KNOCK AT DOOR
229
00:14:03,836 --> 00:14:06,555
Dark forces are at work here.
230
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,795
KNOCKING AGAIN
231
00:14:08,796 --> 00:14:09,915
What the fuck?
232
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,635
Get the door, will you?
233
00:14:12,636 --> 00:14:16,555
The house is haunted, possessed.
234
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,115
Hi, lads. Anywhere in there.
235
00:14:19,116 --> 00:14:22,915
What if it was built over
a loony bin? An orphanage?
236
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:24,955
A Red Indian burial site!?
237
00:14:24,956 --> 00:14:28,595
Mimi! Mimi!
238
00:14:28,596 --> 00:14:30,555
When was the last time you slept?
239
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:31,835
Tuesday.
240
00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:34,275
You've gone two whole
nights without sleep?
241
00:14:34,276 --> 00:14:37,395
Last Tuesday.
242
00:14:37,396 --> 00:14:41,155
What have you done
to my fucking house?
243
00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:45,035
It's part of the makeover.
We talked about it, remember?
244
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:47,875
I've got to get to work.
She needs help. Get her some.
245
00:14:47,876 --> 00:14:49,515
Come on, Mam, do us a favour.
246
00:14:49,516 --> 00:14:52,715
Go upstairs, get yourself
changed, take Cilla out for a walk.
247
00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:54,715
Fresh air might do you good.
248
00:14:54,716 --> 00:14:58,715
When you get back everything'll
be back to normal. All right?
249
00:15:01,316 --> 00:15:03,915
I've sewn name tags
into all our work gear.
250
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:04,955
Good idea.
251
00:15:04,956 --> 00:15:08,315
Stockings, suspenders, strap-ons.
It'll save time and mix-ups.
252
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:11,115
Oh, and thanks for the other night.
I had a great time.
253
00:15:11,116 --> 00:15:12,795
You made me feel really welcome.
254
00:15:12,796 --> 00:15:15,595
It's nice to see you away from work.
255
00:15:15,596 --> 00:15:18,915
If you need me to cover your shifts,
the place up, give us a shout.
256
00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:20,275
You don't mind baby-sitting Lillian?
257
00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:21,395
I really like her.
258
00:15:21,396 --> 00:15:23,835
Sooner you than me.
259
00:15:23,836 --> 00:15:26,475
Thanks. I might take you up on that.
260
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:28,715
Are you done yet, Chief Inspector?
261
00:15:28,716 --> 00:15:32,715
No, no, no, no...
Keep going, keep going.
262
00:15:34,756 --> 00:15:37,955
(WHISPERING)
This normally finishes him off.
263
00:15:37,956 --> 00:15:39,275
SQUELCHING
264
00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:43,275
Oooh! Oh! Ah!
265
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:48,435
BABY CRIES
266
00:15:59,276 --> 00:16:02,915
Oh, for fuck's sake!
267
00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:05,835
It's getting that way
I don't want to be there.
268
00:16:05,836 --> 00:16:07,915
Me own house.
269
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:10,915
My fucking house, not theirs.
270
00:16:10,916 --> 00:16:14,915
Like a stranger.
It's like I'm the lodger!
271
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:24,395
Yeah, it looks great.
Bit of a disaster with Mam, though...
272
00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:27,955
she's fucked off out and left me
holding the baby again.
273
00:16:27,956 --> 00:16:29,795
(GASPS)
274
00:16:29,796 --> 00:16:31,675
Shit, you all right?
275
00:16:31,676 --> 00:16:34,515
That was just a little bit too hot.
276
00:16:34,516 --> 00:16:38,515
Just try and get her to sleep
and crack on, OK?
277
00:16:39,036 --> 00:16:40,075
Laters.
278
00:16:40,076 --> 00:16:41,475
It's looking good, isn't it?
279
00:16:41,476 --> 00:16:45,475
Oh, I like my pelt au naturel.
I did have it shaved once,
280
00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:49,115
but my Brendan said it was like
shagging a welcome mat.
281
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:50,155
Lillian...dry gag.
282
00:16:50,156 --> 00:16:54,155
You don't want to give your boyfriend a treat?
You're not too old.
283
00:16:54,196 --> 00:16:56,475
I'm too old for boyfriends.
284
00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:59,555
Don't be daft, you're in your prime!
285
00:16:59,556 --> 00:17:01,155
They're too old for me.
286
00:17:01,156 --> 00:17:04,155
I like the element of surprise
a younger man can bring.
287
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,875
Creeping up and being slotted one
when you're least expecting it.
288
00:17:07,876 --> 00:17:10,035
I was once taken bending down
tying my laces.
289
00:17:10,036 --> 00:17:13,955
The best thing about the young 'uns is,
they're ready again in ten minutes.
290
00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:17,235
Now, my Brendan
needed a fortnight's notice.
291
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,795
In writing.
292
00:17:19,796 --> 00:17:23,795
(GASPS)
293
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:28,795
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
294
00:17:28,796 --> 00:17:30,155
You're home early.
295
00:17:30,156 --> 00:17:31,355
Music teacher's sick.
296
00:17:31,356 --> 00:17:34,635
You might fool Mum,
but you don't fool me.
297
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:35,915
What?
I know.
298
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:36,715
Know what?
299
00:17:36,716 --> 00:17:37,675
I know.
300
00:17:37,676 --> 00:17:39,515
What are you talking about?
301
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,515
Your dirty little secret.
I saw you on the phone.
302
00:17:44,876 --> 00:17:47,235
It was a one-off, I was stressed.
303
00:17:47,236 --> 00:17:48,355
20.
304
00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:49,555
What?
305
00:17:49,556 --> 00:17:52,395
Or Mum hears the lot,
and it won't be pretty.
306
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:54,515
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
307
00:17:54,516 --> 00:17:55,835
Hiya!
308
00:17:55,836 --> 00:17:59,835
Bit of extra pocket money!
309
00:18:02,476 --> 00:18:04,835
Isn't it a bit extravagant?
310
00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:07,315
The old one's knackered,
so you've been going to
311
00:18:07,316 --> 00:18:10,955
the bag-wash every week.
Three loads, wash and dry? So...
312
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:14,595
20 a trip, minimum.
What's that over a year?
313
00:18:14,596 --> 00:18:17,555
1,400.
314
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,355
Fuck me!
315
00:18:19,356 --> 00:18:21,075
Profit's going down the plughole.
316
00:18:21,076 --> 00:18:23,475
This is your business -
you need it working
317
00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:26,115
for you, not the other way round.
318
00:18:26,116 --> 00:18:28,795
DOORBELL RINGS
319
00:18:28,796 --> 00:18:29,835
How's it feeling?
320
00:18:29,836 --> 00:18:31,835
Hot. And not in a good way.
321
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:34,755
Sorry. My fault.
I'll make it up to you some time.
322
00:18:34,756 --> 00:18:37,355
Your 12 o'clock's in.
323
00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:41,355
Make it up to me now. I really want
to spend more time at home and...
324
00:18:42,316 --> 00:18:46,315
Oh, go on, then.
325
00:18:46,396 --> 00:18:50,075
Mr Etheridge, this is Bonnie.
326
00:18:50,076 --> 00:18:54,075
She's new. And I mean new.
327
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,355
Where's Cilla?
328
00:18:59,356 --> 00:19:00,715
Bed.
329
00:19:00,716 --> 00:19:03,395
How come you're still on this?
It's hardly rocket science!
330
00:19:03,396 --> 00:19:05,235
Because the last leg won't go on.
331
00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:07,755
The special bolt needed
to attach it is missing.
332
00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:09,035
We'll take it back, then.
333
00:19:09,036 --> 00:19:12,475
I phoned, we bought the last one -
they've got no spare parts.
334
00:19:12,476 --> 00:19:13,675
Get a refund.
335
00:19:13,676 --> 00:19:15,595
They don't do refunds.
336
00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:17,555
200 notes for a three-legged table.
337
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:21,555
Only us, eh?
338
00:19:23,716 --> 00:19:25,755
Hard day at the office, dear?
339
00:19:25,756 --> 00:19:28,155
Hurray for Hollywood.
340
00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:29,475
Ooh, shaven haven!
341
00:19:29,476 --> 00:19:33,475
Punters love it. Crabs hate it.
No hiding place, according to Bonnie. Approve?
342
00:19:34,556 --> 00:19:37,235
I'd sooner have a bit of grass
on the pitch, know what I mean?
343
00:19:37,236 --> 00:19:38,475
Jesus, Shane.
344
00:19:38,476 --> 00:19:42,475
You look like you've been whipped!
345
00:19:44,236 --> 00:19:47,755
I feel as sick as a dog.
Light-headed.
346
00:19:47,756 --> 00:19:50,475
It's definitely got worse.
347
00:19:50,476 --> 00:19:54,475
You need to see a doctor.
348
00:19:54,556 --> 00:19:58,555
We were about to call out
a search party.
349
00:19:59,836 --> 00:20:00,835
She OK?
350
00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:02,915
Tired.
351
00:20:02,916 --> 00:20:06,755
Cunts! You've moved everything!
352
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:07,795
Didn't you tell her? >
353
00:20:07,796 --> 00:20:10,795
Tell her what?
That you're messing with her head,
354
00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:14,155
and telling everyone she's mad
so you can have her carted off
355
00:20:14,156 --> 00:20:16,995
to the fuckin' nuthouse
and out your way for good?
356
00:20:16,996 --> 00:20:20,995
No... That we moved the knives
and forks to a different drawer.
357
00:20:31,036 --> 00:20:32,075
Somebody's having a good time.
358
00:20:32,076 --> 00:20:34,675
BANGING AND PANTING
359
00:20:34,676 --> 00:20:36,795
Never had a multiple. You?
360
00:20:36,796 --> 00:20:40,795
Just one.
Made me feel sick like the waltzers.
361
00:20:41,316 --> 00:20:44,675
Oh, it's nice
to have a bit of company.
362
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,035
You've got friends,
you're close to Kelly.
363
00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:49,035
Oh, she's always busy these days.
364
00:20:49,036 --> 00:20:50,995
She's got Shane, I suppose.
365
00:20:50,996 --> 00:20:52,555
She's bound to put him first.
366
00:20:52,556 --> 00:20:55,275
But you go the pub and see people.
367
00:20:55,276 --> 00:20:56,955
And then I come home alone.
368
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,435
I don't know what I did with
myself before you moved in.
369
00:20:59,436 --> 00:21:02,355
Feels like a new beginning.
Another chance at happiness.
370
00:21:02,356 --> 00:21:05,395
I'm not a muff-diver, by the way.
371
00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:07,395
Don't be daft, I know.
372
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,995
It's just nice having a bit
of company, isn't it, Mum?
373
00:21:10,996 --> 00:21:14,995
Yeah, yeah. It is.
374
00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:17,475
This your Rodney?
375
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,195
Mmm.
376
00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:19,435
Mmm.
He looks nice.
377
00:21:19,436 --> 00:21:22,115
You're just being polite,
he looks a twat.
378
00:21:22,116 --> 00:21:24,475
And he looks a twat
because he is a twat.
379
00:21:24,476 --> 00:21:27,555
Let's see what's on the telly.
380
00:21:27,556 --> 00:21:31,555
All that money and effort spent
fixing the place up, and look at it.
381
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,515
I'll, er...
382
00:21:33,516 --> 00:21:36,395
I'll get Chesney and Carl
to give us a hand...
383
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:40,395
have it sorted in no time.
384
00:21:40,596 --> 00:21:42,275
Stop worrying, will ya?
385
00:21:42,276 --> 00:21:45,355
Just wanted it nice for your mam.
386
00:21:45,356 --> 00:21:48,395
It will be.
387
00:21:48,396 --> 00:21:49,715
(WHEEZES)
388
00:21:49,716 --> 00:21:50,755
You OK?
389
00:21:50,756 --> 00:21:53,835
(WHEEZES SEVERELY)
390
00:21:53,836 --> 00:21:54,955
Shit!
391
00:21:54,956 --> 00:21:58,355
No! No!
392
00:21:58,356 --> 00:21:59,195
What is it? What's wrong?
393
00:21:59,196 --> 00:22:03,195
What is it? What's wrong?
Help me! It's Cilla!
394
00:22:10,356 --> 00:22:12,435
Doctor said there are two other
395
00:22:12,436 --> 00:22:16,435
people in here with the same thing.
Carpet fitters.
396
00:22:19,396 --> 00:22:21,595
The carpet's made them sick?
397
00:22:21,596 --> 00:22:24,675
Impregnated with chemicals
to make it easy to clean.
398
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:28,675
It was over-treated and rejected, so
shop had carpet they couldn't sell.
399
00:22:29,116 --> 00:22:30,755
Till they saw you coming.
400
00:22:30,756 --> 00:22:34,755
You nearly killed my baby.
401
00:22:35,636 --> 00:22:36,515
Don't be stupid!
402
00:22:36,516 --> 00:22:39,435
You brought that carpet
into my house.
403
00:22:39,436 --> 00:22:41,715
We had no idea it was...
404
00:22:41,716 --> 00:22:43,315
It's all down to you!
405
00:22:43,316 --> 00:22:47,315
Cos my baby's in intensive care
and Shane's fucking not!
406
00:22:47,596 --> 00:22:48,995
Mimi, they're both...
407
00:22:48,996 --> 00:22:51,035
Liar! Liar!
408
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,555
If you're looking
for someone to blame,
409
00:22:53,556 --> 00:22:57,235
if you hadn't taken a bag of spuds
to the park instead of your daughter,
410
00:22:57,236 --> 00:22:59,475
maybe this'd be
playing out differently...
411
00:22:59,476 --> 00:23:02,075
maybe it'd just be Shane
lying in a hospital bed.
412
00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:04,875
Or is that what you would've wanted?
413
00:23:04,876 --> 00:23:06,715
Yes.
414
00:23:06,716 --> 00:23:10,715
Yes, it is.
415
00:23:14,195 --> 00:23:16,848
I may not look it,
but I'm due for retirement soon.
416
00:23:16,859 --> 00:23:18,538
You'll never retire.
417
00:23:18,539 --> 00:23:20,898
Give it another year
and I'm calling it a day.
418
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:24,018
What about the business?
Hand it over to Rodney?
419
00:23:24,019 --> 00:23:26,458
He'd have the place
closed down within a week.
420
00:23:26,459 --> 00:23:27,698
He'd either be dead or back inside.
421
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:30,538
You should think about asking Kelly.
422
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:34,538
You know, like a manager,
but make sure you're looked after.
423
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:38,538
She'd do a great job
and you'd get peace of mind.
424
00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:45,418
I want my eggs sunny side up.
425
00:23:45,619 --> 00:23:47,258
You? Making breakfast?
426
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,418
Don't act so surprised.
427
00:23:49,419 --> 00:23:51,218
I'm fucking floored.
428
00:23:51,219 --> 00:23:52,898
Dad's taking me into town later
to buy me some new trainers.
429
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:54,698
I'm not.
430
00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:58,258
You are. You promised, remember?
431
00:23:58,259 --> 00:24:01,458
I promised you breakfast.
432
00:24:01,459 --> 00:24:04,098
What's going on?
433
00:24:04,099 --> 00:24:05,978
You're right.
434
00:24:05,979 --> 00:24:07,658
Thanks for reminding me, babes.
435
00:24:07,659 --> 00:24:10,618
A treat for doing well in school.
I did promise.
436
00:24:10,619 --> 00:24:12,378
I don't fancy this any more.
437
00:24:12,379 --> 00:24:15,818
Think I might have
some cereal instead.
438
00:24:15,819 --> 00:24:18,098
Well, if you won't!
439
00:24:18,099 --> 00:24:19,778
Corn flakes.
440
00:24:19,779 --> 00:24:23,778
Waiting!
441
00:24:30,139 --> 00:24:31,338
You OK?
442
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:35,338
Never better.
443
00:24:36,819 --> 00:24:40,818
Managed to pull Micky out of
a bonding session to let him know.
444
00:24:40,899 --> 00:24:42,258
Why don't we find a doctor,
445
00:24:42,259 --> 00:24:45,298
see if they can give you something
to help you get some rest?
446
00:24:45,299 --> 00:24:47,978
Knock me out, you mean?
447
00:24:47,979 --> 00:24:51,978
My face has got to be the first
Cilla sees when she wakes up.
448
00:24:53,379 --> 00:24:56,778
Why don't you go and
get us some coffees?
449
00:24:56,779 --> 00:24:58,418
MOBILE RINGS >
450
00:24:58,419 --> 00:25:00,378
Lillian.
451
00:25:00,379 --> 00:25:02,938
Will I get used to it?
452
00:25:02,939 --> 00:25:04,218
What?
453
00:25:04,219 --> 00:25:07,218
Feeling like this?
Being mad.
454
00:25:07,219 --> 00:25:10,418
One in four people in this
country are mentally unstable.
455
00:25:10,419 --> 00:25:14,418
Who are your three
closest relatives?
456
00:25:14,459 --> 00:25:16,218
Jamie, Micky and Shane.
457
00:25:16,219 --> 00:25:20,218
They seem OK.
You're probably the one.
458
00:25:22,179 --> 00:25:24,778
I know mad when I see it.
459
00:25:24,779 --> 00:25:26,418
And you are not it.
460
00:25:26,419 --> 00:25:28,498
You're tired, Mimi.
461
00:25:28,499 --> 00:25:30,018
You're overwhelmed.
462
00:25:30,019 --> 00:25:32,578
And I've gotta say it can't be easy
bringing a little one up
463
00:25:32,579 --> 00:25:36,578
when you thought
you'd put that behind you.
464
00:25:36,699 --> 00:25:40,098
She was my new start, Karen.
My new beginning.
465
00:25:40,099 --> 00:25:43,658
That's what I keep telling myself.
466
00:25:43,659 --> 00:25:46,258
I just want to do right by her.
467
00:25:46,259 --> 00:25:50,258
And I can't. Christ knows,
I've tried, but I can't.
468
00:25:50,499 --> 00:25:53,778
Hey, don't talk like that.
469
00:25:53,779 --> 00:25:55,698
If anything happens to her.
470
00:25:55,699 --> 00:25:59,698
It's all down to me. All of it.
471
00:26:07,624 --> 00:26:10,783
I've searched me conscience.
And searched me heart.
472
00:26:10,784 --> 00:26:14,783
And I swear down, I don't know what
I've done to deserve this.
473
00:26:17,664 --> 00:26:19,343
GUNSHOT
474
00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:22,183
Oh, father, who art in heaven...
475
00:26:22,184 --> 00:26:24,623
Oh!
476
00:26:24,624 --> 00:26:27,063
I mean, apart from
the obvious, like...
477
00:26:27,064 --> 00:26:31,063
Oh, will you shut your
fuckin' moaning.
478
00:26:33,704 --> 00:26:36,223
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
479
00:26:36,224 --> 00:26:37,303
For what?
480
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:41,303
Swearing like a tuppeny whore.
You're Mary, the mother of Christ.
481
00:26:41,304 --> 00:26:43,783
Mandy...
482
00:26:43,784 --> 00:26:47,183
The mother of little Joe.
483
00:26:47,184 --> 00:26:51,183
After that ginger gobshite?
484
00:26:51,304 --> 00:26:54,903
You're dead and you're
still sweet on him? How? Why?
485
00:26:54,904 --> 00:26:57,743
We're still kind of
seeing each other.
486
00:26:57,744 --> 00:27:00,063
Back to you, what's going on?
487
00:27:00,064 --> 00:27:01,663
Hang on, what are you doing here?
488
00:27:01,664 --> 00:27:04,623
You're not after taking my Cilla
to the other side,
489
00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:06,263
escorting her to the bosom of Jesus.
490
00:27:06,264 --> 00:27:08,103
Mum, I'm not here to take Cilla!
491
00:27:08,104 --> 00:27:09,623
I'm here to try and sort you.
492
00:27:09,624 --> 00:27:12,463
I'm at me wit's end.
Micky's buggered off, and...
493
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,903
Jamie's got that much to sort with
him and Karen, he's no use to me.
494
00:27:15,904 --> 00:27:19,103
And Shane and Kelly are hell bent
on seeing me homeless!
495
00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:19,703
Shane and Kelly?
496
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:22,143
Redecorating, chucking me furniture.
497
00:27:22,144 --> 00:27:25,423
In a few months' time there'll be
no sign I was ever there at all.
498
00:27:25,424 --> 00:27:27,783
They're erasing me. They want me out!
499
00:27:27,784 --> 00:27:31,543
They want you in. That's why they're
doing it, you dozy mare.
500
00:27:31,544 --> 00:27:33,263
To make the place nicer for you.
501
00:27:33,264 --> 00:27:35,583
They're finishing off the job
you can't.
502
00:27:35,584 --> 00:27:38,463
There are people
taking advantage, Mum,
503
00:27:38,464 --> 00:27:39,663
but not your own flesh and blood.
504
00:27:39,664 --> 00:27:40,823
You just can't see it!
505
00:27:40,824 --> 00:27:43,903
I see everything.
506
00:27:43,904 --> 00:27:45,343
I'm omnipresent.
507
00:27:45,344 --> 00:27:47,223
I thought that was just God?
508
00:27:47,224 --> 00:27:50,383
He decided we all should be.
One of the perks.
509
00:27:50,384 --> 00:27:53,583
You need to sort this, Mum.
Get your house in order.
510
00:27:53,584 --> 00:27:57,143
I know someone's pulling a fast one,
and I know who!
511
00:27:57,144 --> 00:27:58,183
You're wrong.
512
00:27:58,184 --> 00:27:58,743
I know.
513
00:27:58,744 --> 00:27:59,383
I know.
You're wrong.
514
00:27:59,384 --> 00:28:00,263
I'm not. You are.
515
00:28:00,264 --> 00:28:01,423
No, you are.
516
00:28:01,424 --> 00:28:02,423
I'm fuckin' not.
517
00:28:02,424 --> 00:28:04,063
Fuckin' are!
518
00:28:04,064 --> 00:28:06,903
Am so fuckin' not!
519
00:28:06,904 --> 00:28:10,183
Oh, get fucked!
520
00:28:10,184 --> 00:28:12,183
Oi!
521
00:28:12,184 --> 00:28:15,623
If that's the insurance company,
you can forget it.
522
00:28:15,624 --> 00:28:16,823
You won't be cashing
in on me just yet.
523
00:28:16,824 --> 00:28:20,823
Bang goes the dream holiday, then.
524
00:28:23,064 --> 00:28:25,023
You really had me going there.
525
00:28:25,024 --> 00:28:29,023
Nah, constitution of an ox, me.
526
00:28:30,784 --> 00:28:34,783
In't that right, Mam?
527
00:28:36,824 --> 00:28:40,823
She's upset. Don't take much notice.
528
00:28:46,744 --> 00:28:49,263
How dare you walk away?
He's your son!
529
00:28:49,264 --> 00:28:51,863
My son who wants me dead.
530
00:28:51,864 --> 00:28:55,303
Everything we've done,
and it's been a fucking disaster
531
00:28:55,304 --> 00:28:57,943
from start to finish.
It's not just for me and Shane.
532
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:01,943
It's for all of us.
For you, Cilla, Micky.
533
00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:06,703
It's for the family.
534
00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:08,783
He loves you, Mimi. You're his mum.
535
00:29:08,784 --> 00:29:10,743
He needs you.
536
00:29:10,744 --> 00:29:14,103
I want the pair of yous out my house.
537
00:29:14,104 --> 00:29:18,103
You're not welcome.
538
00:29:26,984 --> 00:29:30,983
Do you wanna sign Shane and Cilla's
get well card?
539
00:29:31,544 --> 00:29:32,943
What's wrong?
540
00:29:32,944 --> 00:29:36,943
My bracelet. I left it over there on
the dressing table and it's vanished.
541
00:29:39,144 --> 00:29:40,223
Was it a punter?
542
00:29:40,224 --> 00:29:44,223
I don't know. It was my mum's.
Lost her last year.
543
00:29:45,344 --> 00:29:46,423
Was she sick?
544
00:29:46,424 --> 00:29:48,223
Sick of living.
545
00:29:48,224 --> 00:29:50,783
Stepped in front of a train.
546
00:29:50,784 --> 00:29:54,783
She gave it to me the day before
and I knew something wasn't right.
547
00:29:55,224 --> 00:29:58,903
But I was all, "Oh, thanks, Mum."
548
00:29:58,904 --> 00:30:00,783
I still blame myself.
549
00:30:00,784 --> 00:30:02,703
You mustn't do that.
550
00:30:02,704 --> 00:30:06,703
Did you talk to anyone after?
Your dad? I haven't seen him in years.
551
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:09,783
I'll talk to the girls.
552
00:30:09,784 --> 00:30:12,463
No, Lillian, please don't.
553
00:30:12,464 --> 00:30:14,343
I don't want any fuss.
554
00:30:14,344 --> 00:30:18,343
Promise you won't.
555
00:30:30,344 --> 00:30:31,823
Mam, it's all right.
556
00:30:31,824 --> 00:30:35,823
Cilla's gonna be fine.
557
00:30:47,024 --> 00:30:51,023
Mimi?
Mimi?
558
00:30:52,344 --> 00:30:55,303
Look. There's one of your kids
out there needs you.
559
00:30:55,304 --> 00:30:59,303
Well, more than one, but there's one
who's relying on you.
560
00:30:59,944 --> 00:31:01,663
Fuck, Mimi!
561
00:31:01,664 --> 00:31:05,583
She's been sick and she's scared
and there's only one person can
562
00:31:05,584 --> 00:31:08,703
make her feel better, and
unfortunately for her, that's you.
563
00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:12,143
So whatever it is you're on
or going through, drop the fucker
564
00:31:12,144 --> 00:31:15,463
and get your arse out there
and see to your daughter!
565
00:31:15,464 --> 00:31:18,663
I wanted her dead.
566
00:31:18,664 --> 00:31:22,063
What kind of warped fuck am I
567
00:31:22,064 --> 00:31:25,383
where I want my own flesh and blood
not to make it?
568
00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:28,943
But the thought of letting go,
569
00:31:28,944 --> 00:31:32,943
of not being responsible for
the first time in over 30 years.
570
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:39,143
Of not being just someone's
mum any more, but being me.
571
00:31:41,344 --> 00:31:45,023
Do you know how
much I just wanna be me?
572
00:31:45,024 --> 00:31:47,543
She deserves better than that.
573
00:31:47,544 --> 00:31:51,543
She's beautiful
and everything I'm not.
574
00:31:53,984 --> 00:31:57,743
She needs someone better than me.
575
00:31:57,744 --> 00:31:59,263
I'm not good enough, Kelly.
576
00:31:59,264 --> 00:32:03,263
Well, you didn't do
such a bad job with Shane, Mimi.
577
00:32:13,104 --> 00:32:16,663
Found it. In her room!
578
00:32:16,664 --> 00:32:19,183
No, Lillian, I lent it to her.
579
00:32:19,184 --> 00:32:21,183
Remember, Trix?
580
00:32:21,184 --> 00:32:25,063
You asked if you could borrow
my bracelet and I said yes.
581
00:32:25,064 --> 00:32:28,103
I completely forgot.
582
00:32:28,104 --> 00:32:29,983
You're lying to me, aren't you?
583
00:32:29,984 --> 00:32:33,983
Bonnie, love, you can't let
people like Trixie take the piss.
584
00:32:36,144 --> 00:32:37,183
Come here.
585
00:32:37,184 --> 00:32:41,183
You're all heart,
that's your trouble.
586
00:32:43,664 --> 00:32:45,183
Hello, Cilla.
587
00:32:45,184 --> 00:32:49,183
Hello, yeah.
588
00:32:49,904 --> 00:32:53,903
Take her?
589
00:32:56,544 --> 00:33:00,543
Y'all right, then.
590
00:33:09,824 --> 00:33:13,823
I'm sorry. So sorry.
591
00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:29,903
You know what?
592
00:33:30,264 --> 00:33:32,743
I'm actually glad she threw us out.
593
00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:36,543
Sometimes you need that kick up
the arse to make you go see what's
594
00:33:36,544 --> 00:33:39,023
really important,
what you really want.
595
00:33:39,024 --> 00:33:40,823
Well...
596
00:33:40,824 --> 00:33:43,663
need.
597
00:33:43,664 --> 00:33:44,703
And you know what?
598
00:33:44,704 --> 00:33:47,063
This is it.
599
00:33:47,064 --> 00:33:51,063
This is it.
600
00:33:51,104 --> 00:33:54,063
Me and you.
601
00:33:54,064 --> 00:33:57,303
Auntie Anna dying taught me that.
602
00:33:57,304 --> 00:33:58,943
This is it.
603
00:33:58,944 --> 00:34:02,223
Mr and Mrs.
604
00:34:02,224 --> 00:34:06,223
Mr and Mrs.
605
00:34:06,624 --> 00:34:10,623
DOG BARKS
606
00:34:19,399 --> 00:34:21,798
You weren't even gonna say goodbye?
607
00:34:21,799 --> 00:34:25,558
I can't stay, much as I'd love to.
608
00:34:25,559 --> 00:34:27,398
After that thing
with the bracelet,
609
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:29,638
the other girls
have turned against me.
610
00:34:31,039 --> 00:34:34,518
Nothing. I try and talk
to them and they blank me.
611
00:34:34,519 --> 00:34:38,038
Then I see them whispering.
It's just...
612
00:34:38,039 --> 00:34:40,078
I can't stay where I'm not wanted.
613
00:34:40,079 --> 00:34:42,038
I'll have a word.
614
00:34:42,039 --> 00:34:45,518
I don't blame them. I come in here
and everything starts changing.
615
00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:47,958
Suddenly you and me
are best friends.
616
00:34:47,959 --> 00:34:51,958
It's obvious they're going to resent me.
It's just after all that stuff with my mum,
617
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,278
I think I saw you
as a replacement for her.
618
00:34:55,279 --> 00:34:58,318
I'm in a vulnerable place right now.
619
00:34:58,319 --> 00:35:00,358
I'll look after you, then.
620
00:35:00,359 --> 00:35:01,958
It's not fair on you.
621
00:35:01,959 --> 00:35:05,118
Bye.And thank you, for everything.
622
00:35:05,119 --> 00:35:08,078
I need you!
623
00:35:08,079 --> 00:35:11,158
And I think you need me.
Not in a lezzie way,
624
00:35:11,159 --> 00:35:15,158
and I've never been a fan of muff.
Tried it once, it gave me lockjaw.
625
00:35:15,159 --> 00:35:17,318
So why can't we have each other?
626
00:35:17,319 --> 00:35:20,998
Be friends? Family, even?
627
00:35:20,999 --> 00:35:24,998
Come home, please.
628
00:35:31,519 --> 00:35:32,518
I want a bottle of vodka.
629
00:35:32,519 --> 00:35:35,158
And I want a voice like James Brown.
630
00:35:35,159 --> 00:35:37,158
I'll tell mum your little secret.
631
00:35:37,159 --> 00:35:40,158
(SIGHS) Have you any idea
how hurtful this is?
632
00:35:40,159 --> 00:35:43,198
How distasteful?
633
00:35:43,199 --> 00:35:46,238
Cider or nothing, OK?
634
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:50,238
I'll be ten minutes.
635
00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:53,678
D'you know what?
636
00:35:53,679 --> 00:35:55,718
No. You can't have it.
637
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,558
I'll tell her.
638
00:35:57,559 --> 00:36:00,078
Then tell her.
It'll be embarrassing,
639
00:36:00,079 --> 00:36:02,958
you'll put us in a position
we don't want to be in,
640
00:36:02,959 --> 00:36:05,558
but if you want to risk
all that then tell her.
641
00:36:05,559 --> 00:36:09,318
Tell her what?
642
00:36:09,319 --> 00:36:10,558
Dad's been...
643
00:36:10,559 --> 00:36:14,558
I'll tell her.
644
00:36:21,839 --> 00:36:24,278
Pot the pink!
645
00:36:24,279 --> 00:36:26,358
And that's it.
646
00:36:26,359 --> 00:36:28,958
It's not pretty, I'm not proud.
647
00:36:28,959 --> 00:36:32,958
That's what I did,
and I'm sorry. Happy now?
648
00:36:32,999 --> 00:36:34,518
That's not what I meant,
you dirty bastard!
649
00:36:34,519 --> 00:36:35,678
Watch your mouth!
650
00:36:35,679 --> 00:36:37,398
He's having an affair.
651
00:36:37,399 --> 00:36:39,398
What?!
652
00:36:39,399 --> 00:36:42,518
Other night, all dressed up
to meet some skank.
653
00:36:42,519 --> 00:36:46,518
Tried to say he was going
to a parents' evening.
654
00:36:47,479 --> 00:36:51,478
♪ Baby, please don't do that. ♪
655
00:36:56,119 --> 00:36:57,078
You've got it wrong.
656
00:36:57,079 --> 00:37:00,598
I heard you on the phone
talking filth, you can't deny it!
657
00:37:00,599 --> 00:37:03,358
I know her name - Mrs Smith.
658
00:37:03,359 --> 00:37:05,958
Hang on a minute.
659
00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:09,118
I'm Mrs Smith.
660
00:37:09,119 --> 00:37:10,798
What?!
661
00:37:10,799 --> 00:37:14,798
♪ Now that I'm here
662
00:37:15,799 --> 00:37:16,478
♪ No more... ♪
663
00:37:16,479 --> 00:37:19,278
Now and then,
664
00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:23,278
to spice things up,
your dad and I pretend...
665
00:37:23,879 --> 00:37:25,478
pretend we're someone else.
666
00:37:25,479 --> 00:37:27,358
It's a game, Letitia.
667
00:37:27,359 --> 00:37:31,318
I don't know what's wrong with it,
it's just...dripping.
668
00:37:31,319 --> 00:37:35,318
It's...very...wet.
669
00:37:35,759 --> 00:37:38,758
It needs fixing, but I'm skint.
670
00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:42,198
Then I'm gonna have
to insist on payment in kind.
671
00:37:42,199 --> 00:37:44,078
A grown-up game.
672
00:37:44,079 --> 00:37:48,078
Consenting adults.
673
00:37:48,279 --> 00:37:51,998
Sniffing my knickers? >
674
00:37:51,999 --> 00:37:55,998
Dirty twat!
675
00:38:07,839 --> 00:38:09,518
You were asleep.
676
00:38:09,519 --> 00:38:11,158
All night.
677
00:38:11,159 --> 00:38:14,038
Amazing, isn't it?
678
00:38:14,039 --> 00:38:15,998
Is she all right?
679
00:38:15,999 --> 00:38:19,718
She's perfect.
680
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,118
No fuckin' thanks to you,
you selfish bastard,
681
00:38:23,119 --> 00:38:24,558
pissing off with your mates
when she needed you.
682
00:38:24,559 --> 00:38:25,638
But....
683
00:38:25,639 --> 00:38:29,278
♪ Boys, boys, boys
I'm looking for a good time. ♪
684
00:38:29,279 --> 00:38:33,278
How's your penis colado?
685
00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:37,518
Never mind "but" - get home
and get the place tidied.
686
00:38:37,959 --> 00:38:40,398
They've said we can
take her home today
687
00:38:40,399 --> 00:38:42,478
and I want everything just right.
688
00:38:42,479 --> 00:38:44,398
And Micky...
689
00:38:44,399 --> 00:38:47,758
I want all the locks changing.
Front and back.
690
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:51,758
All the keys to me.
691
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:32,699
Ah, good to have you back.
692
00:39:35,180 --> 00:39:39,179
Did you change the locks?
693
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:42,379
Haven't had chance yet.
694
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:46,379
'That's why they're doing it, you dozy
mare - to make the place nicer for you.'
695
00:39:47,220 --> 00:39:51,219
Don't.
696
00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:54,219
Few bridges to build, haven't I?
697
00:39:54,220 --> 00:39:57,059
♪ I can't seem
to face up to the facts... ♪
698
00:39:57,060 --> 00:39:58,419
Excuse me?
699
00:39:58,420 --> 00:39:59,179
Yes, love?
700
00:39:59,180 --> 00:39:59,619
Are you the manager?
701
00:39:59,620 --> 00:40:03,499
I am.
702
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:05,819
You need to reassess
703
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:09,819
your refunds policy!
704
00:40:10,540 --> 00:40:14,179
♪ Psycho killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est? ♪
705
00:40:14,180 --> 00:40:18,179
Voddie, crisps, I gave you 20.
706
00:40:19,340 --> 00:40:23,299
Nice to see you, Frank.
707
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,859
♪ ..Oh, oh
708
00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:27,739
♪ Psycho killer
709
00:40:27,740 --> 00:40:31,739
♪ Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far... ♪
710
00:40:31,980 --> 00:40:35,979
Get it in without a mark and we'll
throw in a complimentary handjob.
711
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:40,059
How the fuck did you talk Lillian
into forking out for that?
712
00:40:40,060 --> 00:40:42,059
It's an investment.
713
00:40:42,060 --> 00:40:43,099
In what? Skin cancer?
714
00:40:43,100 --> 00:40:45,659
Punters'll pay extra
for a healthy-looking girl. >
715
00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:48,059
Pasty and fat they can get at home.
716
00:40:48,060 --> 00:40:49,219
It's gotta be what, two grand?
717
00:40:49,220 --> 00:40:50,379
Three and a half.
718
00:40:50,380 --> 00:40:52,459
Fuck me, what next?!
719
00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:55,219
A website, punters book online.
720
00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:57,979
Double your trade overnight
with the right web designer.
721
00:40:57,980 --> 00:41:01,419
I hate to break it to you, but
this is not Spearmint fuckin' Rhino.
722
00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:03,939
Just leave the thinking
to me and Lillian, yeah?
723
00:41:03,940 --> 00:41:07,699
Where is she?
Where's Lillian?
724
00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:09,059
Out on business.
725
00:41:09,060 --> 00:41:10,139
What kind of business?
726
00:41:10,140 --> 00:41:14,019
Her own.
727
00:41:14,020 --> 00:41:15,779
OK.
728
00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:19,379
What man-made object built
over 2,000 years ago
729
00:41:19,380 --> 00:41:22,019
is said to be visible from space?
730
00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:24,379
The Trafford Centre!
731
00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:27,859
S'one hell of a bronzy for a few
days' team building in the sticks.
732
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:31,499
Er, yeah, it's out of a bottle.
It'll wash off in a few days.
733
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:32,299
Was it hard, though?
734
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:36,299
♪ I'm sure you will find
many ways to have a good time... ♪
735
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:40,259
Go on, get it all in. Ooh!
736
00:41:40,260 --> 00:41:44,259
Pretty much all the time.
They had us up all hours.
737
00:41:44,580 --> 00:41:47,939
What liquid is also known as H2O?
738
00:41:47,940 --> 00:41:51,819
By the way, we're sorted. Jamie
says we can crash here for a bit.
739
00:41:51,820 --> 00:41:55,819
And what was Hitler's first name?
740
00:41:56,020 --> 00:41:57,099
Heil!
741
00:41:57,100 --> 00:42:01,099
SOME LAUGHTER
742
00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:07,979
Chocka tonight.
743
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:19,739
I just wanted to apologise
for earlier,
744
00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:22,379
you know, when the men were
delivering the tanning beds?
745
00:42:22,380 --> 00:42:25,899
I was stressed out really bad.
I think I was a bit off with you.
746
00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:29,099
A bit?
747
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,099
Trixie told me about the bracelet.
748
00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:34,259
Yeah, it was a misunderstanding.
It's all sorted now.
749
00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:37,659
Not really, cos she reckons
she'd never seen it
750
00:42:37,660 --> 00:42:40,099
before Lillian started
waving it in her face.
751
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,179
She never asked to borrow it,
and defo never stole it.
752
00:42:42,180 --> 00:42:43,939
I'm not a liar!
753
00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:47,939
Neither's Trixie.
And she's not a thief.
754
00:42:56,860 --> 00:42:59,899
You know what?
It really is none of my business
755
00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:01,459
as long as Lillian's happy.
756
00:43:01,460 --> 00:43:05,459
Oh, she is.
757
00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,939
Who wrote Robinson Crusoe?
758
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:18,939
What did Sir Walter Raleigh bring
back to England from the New World?
759
00:43:20,420 --> 00:43:22,299
The bike!
760
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:24,579
Lillian, will you shut the fuck up?!
761
00:43:26,420 --> 00:43:29,939
Little Miss Sunshine over there,
joined at the hip with Lillian.
762
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,619
I thought you were letting go?
Living your life?
763
00:43:32,620 --> 00:43:34,739
There's something up there, Shane.
764
00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:36,899
Look, Lillian's run
that place for donkeys.
765
00:43:36,900 --> 00:43:40,579
She's survived two recessions,
fought off police, nutters in rubber,
766
00:43:40,580 --> 00:43:44,579
her husband getting shot and a son with all the
charm and appeal of a young Charles Manson.
767
00:43:46,060 --> 00:43:47,339
Bonnie, I think she can handle.
768
00:43:47,340 --> 00:43:51,339
And your last question
this round is...
769
00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:57,499
Look, we just grab
our stuff and go, yeah?
770
00:44:01,060 --> 00:44:03,699
Come in.
But first...
771
00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:07,699
close your eyes.
772
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:12,219
Open them now.
773
00:44:12,220 --> 00:44:16,219
Karen told me the way to inner peace
was to finish what you started.
774
00:44:16,660 --> 00:44:20,419
So I looked around me house to see the
things I'd started, but hadn't finished.
775
00:44:20,420 --> 00:44:24,419
As well as this room, I finished a
bottle of wine, a bottle of Baileys,
776
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:28,059
a tub of ice cream, a packet of
Penguins, the last of the Prozac,
777
00:44:28,060 --> 00:44:31,859
the rest of the cheesecake,
and a box of Black Magic.
778
00:44:31,860 --> 00:44:35,859
Can't tell you how good I feel!
779
00:44:36,980 --> 00:44:40,979
Will you stay?
780
00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:45,299
Course we will.
781
00:44:45,300 --> 00:44:48,139
But there are rules, OK?
782
00:44:48,140 --> 00:44:52,139
My rules.
783
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:58,579
'And sometimes, when you
get it right, it works.
784
00:44:58,580 --> 00:45:02,579
'Extend the hand of friendship -
might get it slapped now and again,
785
00:45:02,980 --> 00:45:06,499
'but keep on putting it out there...
786
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:10,499
'..and one day, someone'll take it.
And you can make that difference.
787
00:45:10,620 --> 00:45:14,379
'And, who knows, in years to come,
you might prove that theory wrong.
788
00:45:14,380 --> 00:45:18,059
'Everyone will remember your name -
not cos you were just there, but
789
00:45:18,060 --> 00:45:22,059
'because you shone a little light,
filled a hole, made a difference.'
790
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,259
Is that it?
791
00:45:25,260 --> 00:45:25,939
That's it.
792
00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:26,619
All legal.
793
00:45:26,620 --> 00:45:27,379
Yep.
794
00:45:27,380 --> 00:45:29,419
I can't believe that's it.
795
00:45:29,420 --> 00:45:32,499
You're a bit too old for adoption,
but a legal name change,
796
00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:35,339
that's a step in the right direction.
797
00:45:35,340 --> 00:45:38,019
Welcome to the family, Bonnie Tyler.
798
00:45:38,020 --> 00:45:42,019
Thanks, Mum!
799
00:45:43,380 --> 00:45:45,939
I've got better things to do than
watch you earn minimum wage.
800
00:45:45,940 --> 00:45:47,899
You know nothing about me.
Ditto.
801
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:50,459
I've got so much love to give.
I just need someone to give it to.
802
00:45:50,460 --> 00:45:51,179
I want that thing out!
803
00:45:51,180 --> 00:45:55,179
Got a couple of cars need your
Midas touch over the next few days.
804
00:45:55,260 --> 00:45:57,939
How am I going to drive for Jamie
tomorrow? You'll have to.
805
00:45:57,940 --> 00:45:58,539
Brake, now!
806
00:45:58,540 --> 00:46:01,579
TYRES SCREECH
807
00:46:01,580 --> 00:46:03,539
Something missing
off our washing line.
808
00:46:03,540 --> 00:46:04,579
What?
809
00:46:04,580 --> 00:46:07,299
My knickers! There's
a sexual deviant on the loose!
810
00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:09,750
Throw a rock round here,
you'd hit a dozen.
811
00:46:09,950 --> 00:46:20,150
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
812
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:24,750
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