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1
00:00:03,955 --> 00:00:06,555
Tickets this way for
the Chatsworth Express.
2
00:00:06,555 --> 00:00:14,035
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given by 'im upstairs.
3
00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:17,835
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
4
00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:24,514
What sounds on earth
could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face?
5
00:00:24,914 --> 00:00:26,634
Cos this, people reckon,
6
00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:32,074
and me included, is why pubs
and drugs were kindly invented.
7
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:37,034
To calm us all down,
stop us going mental.
8
00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:41,554
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
9
00:00:41,554 --> 00:00:45,154
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
10
00:00:45,154 --> 00:00:49,834
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
11
00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:56,554
Imagine a Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers
12
00:00:56,554 --> 00:00:59,114
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
13
00:00:59,114 --> 00:01:03,834
Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!
14
00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:07,834
Make poverty history...
cheaper drugs now!
15
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:11,074
He, he, he! Scatter!
16
00:01:11,074 --> 00:01:12,513
Party!
17
00:01:17,233 --> 00:01:21,593
(DEBBIE) 'Age of Enlightenment.
18
00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,993
'Age of Reason. Age of Aquarius.
19
00:01:23,993 --> 00:01:26,673
'It's always the age of something.
20
00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:29,513
'We live in the Information Age.
21
00:01:29,513 --> 00:01:31,353
'Internet, satellite, cable.'
22
00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:33,713
Oh!
23
00:01:33,713 --> 00:01:36,073
You sure that's your
most respectable gear?
24
00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:40,993
Me black tights are laddered. Had to
raid the laundry basket for these.
25
00:01:40,993 --> 00:01:42,793
Max, you've got a bit of...
26
00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:45,513
Fuck-me stockings.
And a bit of tit on display
27
00:01:45,513 --> 00:01:47,833
always brings a smile at a funeral.
28
00:01:49,353 --> 00:01:53,593
(DEBBIE) 'Quality information is
at a premium, and those who have it
29
00:01:53,593 --> 00:01:57,153
'want to hold on to it,
because information is dangerous.'
30
00:01:57,153 --> 00:02:00,793
Hey! You told me St Martin's.
31
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:04,752
Did I? I meant St Mark's.
32
00:02:04,752 --> 00:02:05,832
You wrote it down.
33
00:02:05,832 --> 00:02:08,712
Well, you'll only get
pissed and embarrass us.
34
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,232
Who the fuck are you to
censor where I go and don't go?
35
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:14,672
Any chance you might be
slightly overreacting, Mr G?
36
00:02:14,672 --> 00:02:17,312
I am the head of the house.
I should be told.
37
00:02:17,312 --> 00:02:18,432
Told what?
38
00:02:18,432 --> 00:02:22,752
Everything.
Where, who, why, when...where!
39
00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:26,432
My role is to listen, advise,
support. People look to me.
40
00:02:26,432 --> 00:02:29,112
Only to point and laugh.
You're only bothered cos the chance
41
00:02:29,112 --> 00:02:30,792
of a free drink flashed
in front of your eyes.
42
00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,832
To pay my respects.
43
00:02:32,832 --> 00:02:36,672
I knew Theresa before you were
even a teardrop in me trousers.
44
00:02:36,672 --> 00:02:40,552
And as for the free drink, well,
you know, every cloud...
45
00:02:42,232 --> 00:02:43,232
STOMACH RUMBLES
46
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:46,712
You all right?
47
00:02:46,712 --> 00:02:48,272
Indigestion.
48
00:02:48,272 --> 00:02:52,232
That fucking curry Yvonne gave us
last night, I had it on me chips.
49
00:02:52,232 --> 00:02:54,151
Yvonne didn't do a curry last night.
50
00:02:54,151 --> 00:02:57,111
What was that green stuff
on the stove, then?
51
00:03:07,151 --> 00:03:09,391
Can't think.
52
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:42,071
'My patience is being
sorely fucking tested.'
53
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:44,630
Good.
54
00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:46,590
Morning.
55
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,950
Oh, my God. You weren't...
56
00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:54,270
Don't be ridiculous.
57
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,630
Did you get your undies
from the washing basket? >
58
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:56,630
Yes.
59
00:03:56,630 --> 00:03:58,430
There's caustic soda in the crotch.
60
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,870
Piss off.
61
00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:09,830
We open in five.
62
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:12,750
I need to get away anyway.
63
00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:20,430
Morning. Yeah.
64
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:28,070
We should at least try
and be civil to one another.
65
00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:30,230
I haven't kicked you out, have I?
66
00:04:34,389 --> 00:04:35,749
You look nice.
67
00:04:38,309 --> 00:04:40,909
Hey, beautiful. All set?
68
00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:44,469
Weeee!
69
00:04:51,949 --> 00:04:54,389
I don't see how come
I can't go to this funeral.
70
00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:58,429
Don't want to spoil your innocence
by pointing out you're going to be worm food one day.
71
00:04:58,429 --> 00:05:02,029
Besides, I need your
help packing all this.
72
00:05:02,029 --> 00:05:04,909
14 quid some saddo's
willing to pay for that.
73
00:05:04,909 --> 00:05:06,469
Full set's worth a couple of hundred.
74
00:05:06,469 --> 00:05:08,509
One geek selling crap to another.
75
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,029
Not exactly what the
internet was invented for.
76
00:05:10,029 --> 00:05:11,709
You calling me a geek?
77
00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,229
You looked in the mirror lately?
78
00:05:15,629 --> 00:05:16,949
What are you going
to do with all the money?
79
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,029
Add it to the pot.
80
00:05:18,029 --> 00:05:20,749
Whatever I get for the house...
set me up. >
81
00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:30,748
We've been over this, wee man.
82
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,828
There's nothing for me
on the Chatsworth.
83
00:05:32,828 --> 00:05:37,468
I was having a riot in
Ibiza till Danny...happened.
84
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:47,468
On behalf of all Theresa's family,
I'd like to thank you all
85
00:05:47,468 --> 00:05:51,668
for coming, and drink your fill
in her blessed memory.
86
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:52,828
(ALL) Theresa.
87
00:05:55,508 --> 00:05:58,188
Grub's good.
I've not eaten since breakfast.
88
00:05:58,188 --> 00:05:59,628
The talent's not bad either.
89
00:06:01,508 --> 00:06:04,628
You're mooching at a funeral?
90
00:06:04,628 --> 00:06:06,748
Where does all that go?
91
00:06:06,748 --> 00:06:10,068
I've got Johnny Vegas locked
in me attic.
92
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:21,387
Must be fate.
93
00:06:21,387 --> 00:06:24,147
I asked round my mates,
but nobody knew who you were.
94
00:06:24,147 --> 00:06:25,347
Thought I'd lost you.
95
00:06:25,347 --> 00:06:26,467
Yet here I am.
96
00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:36,347
Is it my turn to say something,
or do you want me to fuck off?
97
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:43,147
She was my grandmother,
on my dad's side.
98
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,867
He shoots, he scores!
99
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,107
She's coming round for a drink later.
100
00:06:51,107 --> 00:06:53,907
It's weird, though, I get the
feeling I know her from somewhere.
101
00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:55,027
You do.
102
00:06:55,027 --> 00:06:58,987
You shagged her about three months
ago, after Abba night at the Jockey.
103
00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:00,347
She didn't say 'owt.
104
00:07:00,347 --> 00:07:01,827
Maybe she don't remember.
105
00:07:04,106 --> 00:07:09,266
Nice of you to bring the family,
Frank. Her kids'll appreciate that.
106
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:11,226
Dragged 'em out of bed, Algie.
107
00:07:11,226 --> 00:07:14,586
Least I could do.
Theresa was one of a kind.
108
00:07:14,586 --> 00:07:17,266
I didn't know you were so close.
109
00:07:19,746 --> 00:07:22,506
When I was 15,
110
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:27,266
Theresa'd be...pushing about 40,
111
00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:31,666
but she was still fit, you know?
112
00:07:31,666 --> 00:07:35,546
Breasts like Hindenburgs,
113
00:07:35,546 --> 00:07:37,466
pointing skywards.
114
00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:39,666
Lush, heart-shaped arse.
115
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:43,226
She rode me raw, Algie.
116
00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:47,746
She initiated me
in the pearls of the flesh.
117
00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:49,946
(SOUND ON PA)
It was a two-way street, though.
118
00:07:49,946 --> 00:07:54,225
Old Tommy,
he wasn't, you know, Errol Flynn.
119
00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:55,825
PA SYSTEM WHINES
120
00:07:55,825 --> 00:07:59,185
Sorry, Algie, is that me?
It's the curry last night.
121
00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:09,945
Testing, one, two...
122
00:08:09,945 --> 00:08:12,185
Who the fuck is that idiot?
123
00:08:20,185 --> 00:08:21,665
How could she not remember?
124
00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:23,345
You didn't remember her.
125
00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:27,945
Oh, come on!
126
00:08:27,945 --> 00:08:29,385
Fuck off! ^
127
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:33,305
I'm in dire fucking straits here!
128
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,865
I know this might be
a bit arse about tit,
129
00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:38,305
seeing as we've already
spent the night together,
130
00:08:38,305 --> 00:08:40,425
but maybe I could take you
for a drink some time?
131
00:08:42,184 --> 00:08:44,424
Are you asking me out
at your gran's funeral?
132
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,304
By all accounts,
Gran was a bit of a goer.
133
00:08:46,304 --> 00:08:48,024
I'm sure she'd approve.
134
00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:50,304
(FARTS)
135
00:08:50,304 --> 00:08:52,064
Oh!
136
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:54,664
(DEFECATES NOISILY)
137
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,304
COMMOTION
138
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,664
Oh... Ahhh...
139
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,024
Oh...
140
00:09:06,664 --> 00:09:10,664
Well, I can hardly stop now! Argh!
141
00:09:10,664 --> 00:09:13,384
(FARTING CONTINUES)
142
00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:24,797
You're a poof. I'm...
143
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,877
Your ring tone is Copacabana
144
00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:29,557
and you pluck your eyebrows.
145
00:09:29,557 --> 00:09:32,597
That's...that's
just personal grooming.
146
00:09:32,597 --> 00:09:35,757
You saw The Sound Of Music three
times when it was in Manchester.
147
00:09:35,757 --> 00:09:39,517
It's...it's a morality tale.
148
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,037
Did Carl tell ya?
149
00:09:46,037 --> 00:09:48,957
I used my own amazing powers
of deduction.
150
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,917
You know that Ian
is also a homosexual?
151
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,357
Oh, I've seen his membership card.
152
00:09:57,357 --> 00:09:59,997
I've got a proposition for ya.
153
00:09:59,997 --> 00:10:02,356
Hey!
154
00:10:02,356 --> 00:10:03,876
Do you think I've gone too far...
155
00:10:04,956 --> 00:10:05,716
The eyebrows?
156
00:10:05,716 --> 00:10:07,236
Some might say not far enough.
157
00:10:12,996 --> 00:10:16,356
I've never seen you cook
once since I met ya.
158
00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:19,116
I can follow a recipe,
I'm not a complete idiot.
159
00:10:19,116 --> 00:10:21,436
Get 'em sat round a table,
they'll have to talk.
160
00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:24,836
What are you doing?
161
00:10:24,836 --> 00:10:27,636
Loss adjustor from the
insurance comes tomorrow.
162
00:10:27,636 --> 00:10:31,876
All me invoices have been rendered
unreadable due to water damage so I have to estimate.
163
00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:33,636
We don't sell electrical goods.
164
00:10:33,636 --> 00:10:35,596
Of course we do, Stanley.
165
00:10:35,596 --> 00:10:39,356
All my stock has been
tragically decimated in this fire.
166
00:10:39,356 --> 00:10:42,716
There's a skip down on Rayburn
Common. Go see what you can find.
167
00:10:42,716 --> 00:10:45,196
Every piece of crap
I drag in, I get a tenner.
168
00:10:45,196 --> 00:10:46,676
What you doing?
169
00:10:48,836 --> 00:10:51,275
I need 30 quid.
170
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,675
Is that a problem?
171
00:10:57,155 --> 00:11:00,995
I'm scrounging through skips,
doing this to my nails, and he can take what he wants?
172
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:03,995
What do you want doing with these?
Kick fuck out of 'em.
173
00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:05,795
Mark 'em as reduced,
put 'em with fire stock.
174
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,635
What was Debbie's quote?
175
00:11:20,635 --> 00:11:23,475
"The single most humiliating
day of my life",
176
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,795
and that's saying something,
Frank.
177
00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:28,835
I've had a dicky tummy, see, and...
178
00:11:34,155 --> 00:11:37,555
Even when you genuinely
try to do right, you still fuck it up, don't you?
179
00:11:37,555 --> 00:11:39,715
I'm cursed.
180
00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:43,314
Like I was Glen Hoddle
in a previous life or something.
181
00:11:43,314 --> 00:11:46,114
Just listen sometimes. I do!
182
00:11:46,114 --> 00:11:49,234
I'm not talking about the gaps
in between what you want to say!
183
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,794
I mean, really listen.
184
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,954
It's an undervalued skill.
185
00:11:59,514 --> 00:12:02,634
I best go in,
endure the wrath of Debbie.
186
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:06,554
Well, she's not there.
They're down the Jockey. Yvonne's got the littl'un.
187
00:12:13,554 --> 00:12:17,154
Despite your reasonable
tone and helpful advice, I still fucking hate ya.
188
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,674
Of course.
189
00:12:27,594 --> 00:12:30,474
Do you like it, then?
190
00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:32,273
Four hours that took.
191
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:36,153
It's a lovely surprise.
Thank you, son.
192
00:12:36,153 --> 00:12:40,153
Did you...follow the recipe
to the letter?
193
00:12:40,153 --> 00:12:41,873
No.
194
00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:46,833
All proper good cooks, right,
they stray from t'book a bit.
195
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:50,553
Said "add sugar", but you don't
add sugar to hot food, do you?
196
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:52,233
So you replaced it with?
197
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:53,513
Mango chutney.
198
00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:55,153
Like you get in curries and that.
199
00:12:57,833 --> 00:12:59,313
Mango Bolognese.
200
00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:00,673
(SNIGGERS)
201
00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:03,473
Yeah. Delicious.
202
00:13:03,473 --> 00:13:06,913
LAUGHTER
203
00:13:06,913 --> 00:13:09,313
Pass the salt please, Mimi.
204
00:13:09,313 --> 00:13:10,753
Certainly.
205
00:13:14,313 --> 00:13:15,753
Oops.
206
00:13:17,873 --> 00:13:20,633
Can we have the room, please?
207
00:13:24,032 --> 00:13:26,552
He means, get out.
208
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,752
This stops now.
209
00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:38,832
Her name was Maureen.
210
00:13:38,832 --> 00:13:41,032
Don't you fucking dare..!
I will not live like this.
211
00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:43,752
If it's all out in the open,
I've nothing left hanging over me.
212
00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:44,992
I don't want to know.
213
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,352
Tough fucking titty!
214
00:13:47,352 --> 00:13:48,632
Maureen.
215
00:13:48,632 --> 00:13:52,632
And I fell head over heels for her,
like an imbecilic school-boy.
216
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,752
Don't ask why cos I don't know.
Something lacking at home, maybe.
217
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:59,272
A marriage long gone stagnant,
certainly.
218
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,072
But I am not
the betraying kind, Mimi.
219
00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,712
Never have been,
throughout our marriage.
220
00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:06,152
This woman...
221
00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:10,912
She...had something.
222
00:14:14,511 --> 00:14:17,111
And I fell.
223
00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:20,151
Had something, did she?
224
00:14:22,071 --> 00:14:24,911
She was special,
225
00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:26,351
was she?
226
00:14:34,711 --> 00:14:37,071
You've crossed a line, Paddy.
227
00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:39,791
You should've left it unsaid.
228
00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:48,271
Fucking Irish fucking scum!
229
00:14:51,311 --> 00:14:53,471
With his sob story...
230
00:14:55,151 --> 00:14:57,511
Deceitful...
231
00:14:57,511 --> 00:15:00,071
fucking excuse for a man!
232
00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:02,950
A real man would stand by his family,
233
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:05,710
stand by his wife!
234
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:06,350
SMASHING
235
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:19,630
Fuck.
236
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,430
WOMAN MOANS, MUSIC PLAYS
237
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:26,630
He's got us over a barrel.
238
00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:38,070
What are you doing?
Your mum's in there.
239
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:41,390
Put it back on,
and don't let the door hit your fat arse on the way out.
240
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:42,990
LAUGHTER
241
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:46,670
If you value your bollocks, lads,
I suggest you make an exit. Now!
242
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:51,430
You're a fucking crook and a liar.
And so's she.
243
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:53,109
Your mum and dad
were trying to protect ya.
244
00:15:53,109 --> 00:15:54,709
They were looking after the money.
245
00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:56,989
Told us our dad was dead -
cos it's always about the money.
246
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,069
That's not true.
247
00:15:58,069 --> 00:16:01,829
What do you know?
You're only here cos she's so desperate, she'll shag anything.
248
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:05,749
I'm sorry.
249
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,629
I'll do whatever I fucking like.
250
00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:11,069
I'm sorry!
251
00:16:15,389 --> 00:16:18,029
We need to talk.
252
00:16:22,389 --> 00:16:24,909
Light a match under me, you
could deep fry haddock on my arms.
253
00:16:24,909 --> 00:16:27,629
I've shared a room with him.
I think I know what his tastes are.
254
00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:29,469
And they're stuck in 1983, are they?
255
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:35,349
I'm fucking starving.
Does anyone fancy a...?
256
00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:37,589
Sorry.
257
00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:39,509
Needed the tape.
258
00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:44,668
There's four rolls on the table.
259
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:48,068
Oh, yeah. So there is.
260
00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:51,108
Pizza. I'm going for pizza.
261
00:16:51,108 --> 00:16:52,948
No anchovies.
262
00:16:52,948 --> 00:16:54,668
Make me gag.
263
00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:05,988
Good day?
264
00:17:05,988 --> 00:17:08,508
Brilliant.
265
00:17:08,508 --> 00:17:10,668
He was really wonderful with her.
266
00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:12,988
And me.
267
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,268
But you know him
in the biblical sense.
268
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,028
Any good?
269
00:17:18,028 --> 00:17:19,708
I don't remember.
270
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,588
Don't remember?!
271
00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:23,828
Well, not even...
272
00:17:23,828 --> 00:17:25,388
She wouldn't know.
273
00:17:25,388 --> 00:17:27,068
Never seen it.
274
00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:28,628
Nothing happened.
275
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:31,228
Debbie was in no fit
state to go home by herself.
276
00:17:31,228 --> 00:17:32,907
And since her mate had fucked off,
277
00:17:33,987 --> 00:17:35,867
I slept on the floor.
278
00:17:35,867 --> 00:17:38,187
You didn't even cop a feel
while she were out of it?
279
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,267
Max!
280
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,387
99 blokes out of 100 would.
281
00:17:41,387 --> 00:17:44,227
If he didn't, that makes him weird.
282
00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,187
Same again? Oh, yes. Ta.
283
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:56,747
Tracey Parsons, psychology student.
Paints pottery on weekends.
284
00:17:56,747 --> 00:17:58,307
All coming back to her, then?
285
00:17:58,307 --> 00:18:00,627
No, not a fucking clue.
Just ask her direct.
286
00:18:00,627 --> 00:18:03,027
Shouldn't need to.
I'm a really good shag, me.
287
00:18:03,027 --> 00:18:04,747
Max, tell her.
288
00:18:04,747 --> 00:18:08,107
I'm an open-minded girl
but talking to your sister
289
00:18:08,107 --> 00:18:11,827
about the ins and outs of shagging
you is a bit creepy. Even for me.
290
00:18:17,227 --> 00:18:18,587
ROOM QUIETENS
291
00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:25,986
Pint and a Pampers, Frank?
292
00:18:25,986 --> 00:18:28,026
Oh, ha ha, very fucking droll(!)
293
00:18:28,026 --> 00:18:31,026
Just answer your calling
and pull us a pint.
294
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:34,226
That was my grandmother's
funeral this morning.
295
00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:35,706
For fuck's sake!
296
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:39,826
So... That weren't deliberate.
297
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,786
But, I didn't...!
298
00:18:43,786 --> 00:18:50,986
Fine. Shit in a bush, gouge one
stranger and suddenly everyone's judge, jury and fucking executioner.
299
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:05,746
You're getting it on your vest.
300
00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:12,185
This is fucking humiliating!
301
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:15,505
I look like a refugee
out of a shit boy band!
302
00:19:15,505 --> 00:19:18,065
Your seduction techniques are crap.
303
00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:19,425
I'm only ten.
304
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:20,665
Yeah, well...
305
00:19:20,665 --> 00:19:23,385
you'll always be single
if this is the best you can do.
306
00:19:27,425 --> 00:19:28,665
What are you up to?
307
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:31,705
(HE GRIMACES)
308
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:38,065
Any better?
309
00:19:38,065 --> 00:19:39,065
Much.
310
00:19:39,065 --> 00:19:42,585
Still gonna floor that
pillock next time I see him.
311
00:19:43,705 --> 00:19:45,065
You can't.
312
00:19:47,465 --> 00:19:48,905
He's my dad.
313
00:19:51,465 --> 00:19:54,665
Why didn't you say?
Cos I didn't want to spoil things.
314
00:19:54,665 --> 00:19:55,745
Thought you'd lie all day instead?
315
00:19:55,745 --> 00:19:56,625
I didn't lie.
316
00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:57,465
You didn't tell the truth.
317
00:19:57,465 --> 00:19:59,865
He got pissed at a funeral,
it's not a crime.
318
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,345
Blackening my granny's reputation
isn't in the best taste!
319
00:20:01,345 --> 00:20:04,584
It takes two. He was only 15.
320
00:20:04,584 --> 00:20:06,864
I can't believe you're defending him.
321
00:20:06,864 --> 00:20:08,424
Against the likes of you?
322
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,584
Always.
323
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:15,904
THUNDER RUMBLES
324
00:20:15,904 --> 00:20:17,384
It's a cold night, Frank.
325
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:21,104
Something tells us you're not
socialising out here by choice.
326
00:20:21,104 --> 00:20:24,344
"Not socialising
out here by choice."
327
00:20:26,464 --> 00:20:28,864
What a day, eh?
328
00:20:28,864 --> 00:20:30,784
Lucky white heather.
329
00:20:32,384 --> 00:20:34,224
Don't bother coming home tonight!
330
00:20:34,224 --> 00:20:35,704
You're an embarrassment!
331
00:20:36,624 --> 00:20:37,904
It wasn't my fault!
332
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,424
No, Dad! It never is, never!
333
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:44,304
Yet it always,
always fucking happens!
334
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,624
< I told you.
335
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,064
Try listening.
336
00:20:52,423 --> 00:20:54,943
You can always spoon in wi' me.
337
00:20:54,943 --> 00:20:58,263
I'll get a bed. Very popular, I am.
338
00:21:08,303 --> 00:21:09,863
Hello?
339
00:21:10,183 --> 00:21:12,343
Yvonne?
340
00:21:14,263 --> 00:21:16,423
(YVONNE)'So it were a scam.'
341
00:21:16,423 --> 00:21:18,143
It weren't done to hurt ya.
342
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:21,343
We had to fake your dad's
death to protect all of us.
343
00:21:21,343 --> 00:21:23,703
We have to continue on
just like before, Meena.
344
00:21:25,303 --> 00:21:26,223
I'm going to bed.
345
00:21:26,223 --> 00:21:27,023
I'll put the kettle on.
346
00:21:44,542 --> 00:21:46,462
Just want some shelter.
347
00:21:46,462 --> 00:21:49,782
Well, maybe a bit of heat.
348
00:21:59,942 --> 00:22:01,462
It's like death in here.
349
00:22:08,862 --> 00:22:10,222
I never doubted you for a minute.
350
00:22:13,062 --> 00:22:14,702
It has to be clean.
351
00:22:14,702 --> 00:22:16,942
And only when I say.
352
00:22:16,942 --> 00:22:18,662
I don't want any of the kids there.
353
00:22:23,502 --> 00:22:25,342
Don't under-estimate him. >
354
00:22:25,342 --> 00:22:28,382
Once I walk out of here,
there's no changing your mind.
355
00:22:30,862 --> 00:22:33,381
He's done his worst.
It's my turn now.
356
00:22:37,821 --> 00:22:40,621
And, Terry...
357
00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:43,901
Not the face. I want an open coffin.
358
00:22:53,135 --> 00:22:54,655
DOOR OPENS
359
00:22:57,855 --> 00:22:59,495
What?
360
00:23:04,034 --> 00:23:07,234
(MIMI) Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
361
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:12,634
It's been...well, too long
since my last confession.
362
00:23:12,634 --> 00:23:15,354
And I have made a terrible decision.
363
00:23:15,354 --> 00:23:17,714
A life-changing decision.
364
00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:20,914
I know it's a sin and I am sorry...
365
00:23:20,914 --> 00:23:23,714
but I've got no choice.
366
00:23:23,714 --> 00:23:26,474
I'm going through with it,
367
00:23:26,474 --> 00:23:28,954
regardless of what
you tell me today.
368
00:23:30,674 --> 00:23:34,394
And I want the Lord to know,
I do it with a heavy heart.
369
00:23:37,514 --> 00:23:39,274
Are you with me, Father?
370
00:23:39,274 --> 00:23:43,274
(IN DEEP VOICE) Yes, I, I...
371
00:23:43,274 --> 00:23:45,514
Continue...my child.
372
00:23:45,514 --> 00:23:47,554
Have you got a cold?
373
00:23:47,554 --> 00:23:49,354
Allergy...
374
00:23:49,354 --> 00:23:50,953
Altar wine. (COUGHS)
375
00:23:52,593 --> 00:23:54,633
I'm going to murder my husband.
376
00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:56,993
< Well, not personally.
377
00:23:56,993 --> 00:23:58,553
< I've arranged to have it done.
378
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:03,473
< I'll understand
if you want me to leave.
379
00:24:06,273 --> 00:24:07,953
No, go on.
380
00:24:10,753 --> 00:24:12,713
I hope you've got a free hour.
381
00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:20,393
TV IS ON
382
00:24:24,113 --> 00:24:25,553
What did you do?
383
00:24:25,553 --> 00:24:27,353
What?
384
00:24:27,353 --> 00:24:31,993
With Tracey...what's her
fucking name? What did you do?
385
00:24:31,993 --> 00:24:34,593
Let's see if we can find out
where you're going wrong.
386
00:24:34,593 --> 00:24:35,873
Well...
387
00:24:35,873 --> 00:24:38,793
First, we sort of...
388
00:24:41,632 --> 00:24:43,112
Right, I had her like this...
389
00:24:43,112 --> 00:24:47,192
For fuck's sake, it would help
if you spoke the language.
390
00:24:47,192 --> 00:24:48,992
Right, pretend I'm her.
Where should I be?
391
00:24:48,992 --> 00:24:52,352
Erm...on your back, I suppose.
392
00:24:52,352 --> 00:24:53,632
And where are you?
393
00:24:53,632 --> 00:24:56,312
Sort of...here.
394
00:24:56,312 --> 00:24:58,112
Doing what?
395
00:24:58,112 --> 00:25:01,472
You know, mouth
and fingers and stuff.
396
00:25:01,472 --> 00:25:02,512
How long?
397
00:25:02,512 --> 00:25:03,552
I wasn't timing it!
398
00:25:05,472 --> 00:25:08,032
I don't know, erm...
399
00:25:08,032 --> 00:25:09,752
Until my tongue were sore.
400
00:25:13,152 --> 00:25:15,952
Yeah, nothing wrong there.
Then what?
401
00:25:15,952 --> 00:25:17,752
Maybe a bit of...
402
00:25:20,032 --> 00:25:22,072
Something like this.
403
00:25:29,672 --> 00:25:31,591
Seems good.
404
00:25:33,151 --> 00:25:34,191
PHONE RINGS
405
00:25:36,471 --> 00:25:39,231
Hello? (..It's her.)
406
00:25:48,711 --> 00:25:52,031
He didn't come home then?
407
00:25:52,031 --> 00:25:55,671
What you did was wrong,
really fucking wrong.
408
00:25:55,671 --> 00:25:58,191
He's not as tough as he makes out.
409
00:26:22,150 --> 00:26:25,990
I don't know how you do it, mate.
Honestly. I'm full of admiration.
410
00:26:32,710 --> 00:26:34,110
DOOR SLAMS
411
00:26:36,550 --> 00:26:38,950
Up with the lark.
412
00:26:38,950 --> 00:26:40,350
I've got a lot on my mind.
413
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:43,550
Anything I can do
to ease the burden?
414
00:26:43,550 --> 00:26:45,990
Not particularly.
415
00:26:45,990 --> 00:26:50,270
This tension, this fucking atmosphere
all the time between you two.
416
00:26:50,270 --> 00:26:52,190
It's cancerous.
417
00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:54,430
Your mother and I are
working through our problems.
418
00:26:54,430 --> 00:26:56,430
Isn't that right?
419
00:26:56,430 --> 00:26:58,390
Takes time, that's all.
420
00:26:58,390 --> 00:27:01,390
What needs to be done will be done.
421
00:27:04,030 --> 00:27:08,750
Good. As long as you're
prepared to work at it.
422
00:27:18,669 --> 00:27:20,709
He doesn't even like her.
423
00:27:20,709 --> 00:27:22,229
What's it to you?
424
00:27:22,229 --> 00:27:24,349
Nothing.
425
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:29,229
Don't want him making
a dick of himself.
426
00:27:29,229 --> 00:27:31,629
I mean, she ain't all that.
427
00:27:32,629 --> 00:27:35,349
Just tell him you like him.
428
00:27:35,349 --> 00:27:37,349
Oh, fu...!
429
00:27:37,349 --> 00:27:40,069
(THROUGH BABY MONITOR)
What are you talking about?
430
00:27:44,149 --> 00:27:46,389
(SIGHS)
I know he's your brother, Debs,
431
00:27:46,389 --> 00:27:49,069
but I can't stop thinking about him.
432
00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:50,669
Oh, shut up!
433
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,109
I don't want to hear this!
434
00:27:53,109 --> 00:27:57,629
I know I said that we should
just be mates
435
00:27:57,629 --> 00:28:00,549
but...I was playing hard to get.
436
00:28:00,549 --> 00:28:03,588
He was supposed to pick up
on the signals.
437
00:28:03,588 --> 00:28:05,308
You think you've got problems.
438
00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:07,028
Hello?
439
00:28:07,028 --> 00:28:10,348
Earth calling
planet fucking Hollyoaks.
440
00:28:10,348 --> 00:28:12,348
I met a bloke, I slept with him
before I even knew his name.
441
00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:14,468
Why are you torturing me?!
442
00:28:14,468 --> 00:28:17,388
Called his granny a slapper
and then walked out on him.
443
00:28:17,388 --> 00:28:19,988
And I think I love him.
444
00:28:36,948 --> 00:28:38,228
So have you tried listening?
445
00:28:38,228 --> 00:28:41,748
Listening?! I know things
no person should ever know.
446
00:28:41,748 --> 00:28:45,588
If I say, I'm fucked.
If I don't say, I'm fucked.
447
00:28:45,588 --> 00:28:48,468
You have ruined my life.
448
00:28:48,468 --> 00:28:50,068
It's not even lunchtime!
449
00:28:54,267 --> 00:28:57,107
Francis. A word.
450
00:28:57,107 --> 00:28:59,347
Oh, for fuck's sake.
451
00:29:06,427 --> 00:29:08,467
Have you really fainted?
452
00:29:11,107 --> 00:29:12,667
No.
453
00:29:14,947 --> 00:29:17,987
Then come and spend some time.
Mano-a-mano.
454
00:29:17,987 --> 00:29:20,987
I don't know
who I'm more worried about -
455
00:29:20,987 --> 00:29:24,227
you and your weird notions
of what gay men like,
456
00:29:24,227 --> 00:29:25,907
or him, for listening to ya.
457
00:29:25,907 --> 00:29:27,627
You're leaving again.
458
00:29:27,627 --> 00:29:29,907
Yeah, Liam, I am. I want to be happy
459
00:29:29,907 --> 00:29:32,027
and I'm not going to find it
two doors away.
460
00:29:32,027 --> 00:29:33,827
Why not?
461
00:29:33,827 --> 00:29:35,867
Cos we're not an endangered species.
462
00:29:35,867 --> 00:29:38,907
We don't have to mate
with the first gay bloke we see.
463
00:29:38,907 --> 00:29:41,106
You don't have to go halfway
across the world either.
464
00:29:41,106 --> 00:29:42,946
It's exactly the same, just hotter.
465
00:29:42,946 --> 00:29:46,026
Fine. I'll be a lonely poof
with a suntan.
466
00:29:46,026 --> 00:29:47,466
So you admit it then?
467
00:29:49,946 --> 00:29:51,266
Admit what?
468
00:29:51,266 --> 00:29:53,186
That you're lonely.
469
00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:06,426
I'll catch up with ya.
470
00:30:09,746 --> 00:30:11,386
So, what?
You striking out on your own?
471
00:30:11,386 --> 00:30:12,426
Maybe.
472
00:30:12,426 --> 00:30:14,106
So long as I stump you the cash?
473
00:30:14,106 --> 00:30:15,386
I don't need you.
474
00:30:15,386 --> 00:30:17,786
Is this what you'd like?
475
00:30:17,786 --> 00:30:21,106
Cos if it is, go ahead.
476
00:30:22,866 --> 00:30:25,466
If you hate me that much.
477
00:30:25,466 --> 00:30:26,786
I don't hate you.
478
00:30:26,786 --> 00:30:28,626
I'd gladly do it, Chesney.
479
00:30:28,626 --> 00:30:30,826
For you or Meena.
480
00:30:30,826 --> 00:30:33,665
Because that's what it's like
when you have kids.
481
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:37,065
You love them more than
the air you fucking breathe.
482
00:30:37,065 --> 00:30:37,665
Yeah, right.
483
00:30:37,665 --> 00:30:40,745
Do you think this is the life
I dreamt for myself?
484
00:30:40,745 --> 00:30:43,385
We had no choice.
485
00:30:45,545 --> 00:30:48,425
Stop fucking hiding, Chesney!
486
00:30:48,425 --> 00:30:50,705
We were going to be
on the street, no income.
487
00:30:50,705 --> 00:30:51,745
Money, money, money.
488
00:30:51,745 --> 00:30:53,145
Not fucking money!
489
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,745
BLADE SCRAPES
490
00:31:00,705 --> 00:31:02,185
I love you, son.
491
00:31:11,105 --> 00:31:12,705
KNIFE CLATTERS
492
00:31:15,585 --> 00:31:17,585
Chesney, please!
493
00:31:22,864 --> 00:31:26,184
What's with
the Cheshire cat look, 24/7?
494
00:31:26,184 --> 00:31:30,144
Nothing, just wish
it could always be like this.
495
00:31:30,144 --> 00:31:31,544
Like what?
496
00:31:31,544 --> 00:31:34,584
Us three, having a laugh,
getting on.
497
00:31:34,584 --> 00:31:36,504
Why shouldn't it be?
498
00:31:37,184 --> 00:31:39,184
Cos real life gets in the way.
499
00:31:39,184 --> 00:31:42,104
No reason why.
500
00:31:42,104 --> 00:31:44,704
Business is good.
Come and work for me.
501
00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:47,304
Spend every day together.
502
00:31:47,304 --> 00:31:49,064
Why not?! You'd be brilliant.
503
00:31:50,384 --> 00:31:52,784
Even better...
504
00:31:53,864 --> 00:31:54,744
Marry me.
505
00:31:54,744 --> 00:31:56,744
Joe!
506
00:31:56,744 --> 00:31:59,504
She should hear it.
It concerns her too.
507
00:32:02,304 --> 00:32:04,064
So? Will you?
508
00:32:05,784 --> 00:32:09,704
I told 'em straight out.
Like, "Oi! Sort it out!"
509
00:32:09,704 --> 00:32:11,583
I think it's made a difference.
510
00:32:11,583 --> 00:32:14,743
I dunno, Shane.
There's a lot of hurt.
511
00:32:14,743 --> 00:32:17,943
They said they'd try.
Didn't they, Kel? Tell him.
512
00:32:17,943 --> 00:32:22,063
Well, I wasn't exactly
feeling the love in the room.
513
00:32:22,063 --> 00:32:23,703
Pint? Yeah, please, mate.
514
00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:32,743
Mickey.
515
00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:35,263
Just come out, I saw ya.
516
00:32:43,823 --> 00:32:45,663
What are you doing?
517
00:32:45,663 --> 00:32:48,423
Not getting humiliated any more.
518
00:32:48,423 --> 00:32:51,463
And locking yourself in the toilet
is the dignified response?!
519
00:32:51,463 --> 00:32:53,663
What was that shit
all about last night?
520
00:32:53,663 --> 00:32:56,103
Yeah, go on! Laugh it up!
521
00:32:56,103 --> 00:32:57,183
I'm not laughing.
522
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,583
It was Liam's idea.
523
00:32:59,583 --> 00:33:03,862
I hadn't thought about you
in...a long time.
524
00:33:03,862 --> 00:33:07,462
You know, I've moved on.
But he talked me into it.
525
00:33:09,062 --> 00:33:10,862
And I made a dick of myself.
526
00:33:10,862 --> 00:33:11,062
You didn't make a dick...
527
00:33:11,062 --> 00:33:13,382
Yes, I did!
528
00:33:14,302 --> 00:33:16,542
But it's all right.
529
00:33:16,542 --> 00:33:18,302
It's a reminder.
530
00:33:18,302 --> 00:33:19,502
Of what?
531
00:33:19,502 --> 00:33:22,102
To look after meself,
first and last.
532
00:33:22,102 --> 00:33:23,942
Mickey... No, I'm cool.
533
00:33:23,942 --> 00:33:26,262
Seriously.
534
00:33:26,262 --> 00:33:28,782
Just go and do your own thing, Ian.
535
00:33:30,662 --> 00:33:33,742
I won't lose any sleep.
536
00:33:38,702 --> 00:33:42,622
10p. Add it to your fund.
537
00:33:42,622 --> 00:33:44,542
I ain't got a fund yet.
538
00:33:44,542 --> 00:33:47,222
Having second thoughts?
539
00:33:47,222 --> 00:33:50,582
You're a shit-stirring
little bastard.
540
00:33:59,101 --> 00:34:00,781
Something to say?
541
00:34:00,781 --> 00:34:02,221
No.
542
00:34:11,541 --> 00:34:13,461
Hi. Is Debbie in?
543
00:34:13,461 --> 00:34:15,141
Are you the new boyfriend?
544
00:34:15,141 --> 00:34:16,941
Erm, no...
545
00:34:16,941 --> 00:34:18,221
Er...not exactly.
546
00:34:19,381 --> 00:34:22,701
Debbie! Your new boyfriend's here!
547
00:34:27,021 --> 00:34:31,341
I was out of line. I'm sorry.
548
00:34:31,341 --> 00:34:33,141
I like you.
549
00:34:34,421 --> 00:34:38,181
You're funny and spunky and loyal...
550
00:34:40,061 --> 00:34:44,140
And beautiful.
I like being with you.
551
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:45,420
Is that it?
552
00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:46,860
More or less.
553
00:34:55,780 --> 00:34:57,620
You hear all of that?
554
00:34:58,740 --> 00:35:00,700
Every word.
555
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:02,140
Good.
556
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:18,300
I admit it, I was legging it
to the funeral for the free swallow.
557
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,620
I don't want to know
about my children's love lives
558
00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:24,380
or my neighbour's insurance
scam/death falsification.
559
00:35:24,380 --> 00:35:29,380
It is not my place to be aware
of marital struggles
560
00:35:29,380 --> 00:35:33,539
of dear, dear friends,
whom I consider extended family.
561
00:35:33,539 --> 00:35:36,499
I am weighed down
by too much information, Paddy.
562
00:35:39,099 --> 00:35:41,339
I have no fucking clue
what you just said.
563
00:35:41,339 --> 00:35:44,699
And why in God's name do you think
it would interest me?
564
00:35:46,459 --> 00:35:49,019
You brought me here to...
565
00:35:49,019 --> 00:35:50,219
You were gonna...
566
00:35:51,459 --> 00:35:55,419
Because...you know I know.
567
00:35:55,419 --> 00:35:56,379
Know what?
568
00:36:00,819 --> 00:36:02,259
Nothing.
569
00:36:06,059 --> 00:36:07,539
Someone intends to do me harm.
570
00:36:07,539 --> 00:36:11,259
I don't yet know who to trust,
571
00:36:11,259 --> 00:36:14,699
so your role here
is a double-edged insurance policy.
572
00:36:14,699 --> 00:36:17,739
On the one hand, you'll serve
as a witness to what is said.
573
00:36:17,739 --> 00:36:18,979
You're gonna try and
talk him out of it?
574
00:36:18,979 --> 00:36:20,499
Hell, no.
575
00:36:20,499 --> 00:36:24,218
I'm going to offer him twice the fee
to shoot my wife.
576
00:36:24,218 --> 00:36:25,658
DOOR BELL JANGLES
577
00:36:27,418 --> 00:36:29,018
My other role?
578
00:36:29,018 --> 00:36:31,258
You're my human shield, Francis.
579
00:36:50,571 --> 00:36:55,131
Why, why, though? Paddy, why reveal
all this information to me?
580
00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:58,291
I am unreliable, well known
for letting down all and sundry...
581
00:36:58,291 --> 00:36:59,771
Shut the fuck up, Frank.
582
00:36:59,771 --> 00:37:01,811
No, Paddy, come on, Paddy, Paddy.
583
00:37:01,811 --> 00:37:03,971
You can't do it.
You can't kill your wife.
584
00:37:03,971 --> 00:37:05,851
Even if she's
the harridan from hell.
585
00:37:05,851 --> 00:37:09,291
She took a contract out on me.
586
00:37:09,291 --> 00:37:12,611
Yeah, fair, fair point.
But, but, yeah...
587
00:37:12,611 --> 00:37:16,051
and more fool her for getting one
of your colleagues to do this deed.
588
00:37:16,051 --> 00:37:18,371
You're flapping like a teenage girl.
589
00:37:18,371 --> 00:37:23,451
Keep a low profile. If it goes
belly-up for me, give a statement.
590
00:37:23,451 --> 00:37:25,411
If it goes in my favour...
591
00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:28,931
I'll let you keep your legs
in return for your silence.
592
00:38:04,570 --> 00:38:06,370
Can we talk?
593
00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:16,530
Nothing to talk about.
594
00:38:16,530 --> 00:38:18,330
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
595
00:38:19,650 --> 00:38:20,970
What for?
596
00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:23,930
For always blanking you.
597
00:38:23,930 --> 00:38:25,410
Not treating you with respect.
598
00:38:25,410 --> 00:38:28,050
Yeah, well, cheers.
599
00:38:28,370 --> 00:38:29,770
Enjoy France.
600
00:38:29,770 --> 00:38:31,569
Ibiza's in Spain.
601
00:38:31,569 --> 00:38:33,689
And I'm not going...
602
00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,089
not yet, any road.
603
00:38:38,089 --> 00:38:40,929
I'm not ready to leave yet.
604
00:38:40,929 --> 00:38:42,369
How come?
605
00:38:42,369 --> 00:38:44,009
Don't push it.
606
00:38:47,849 --> 00:38:49,809
Kettle only takes a minute to boil.
607
00:39:02,169 --> 00:39:05,129
He's still there. Three hours.
608
00:39:05,129 --> 00:39:06,969
I don't care.
609
00:39:07,729 --> 00:39:11,849
You've got a nice-looking fella,
prepared to sit in a public thoroughfare,
610
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:16,009
with no toilet break, just in the
hope that you might talk to him.
611
00:39:17,769 --> 00:39:19,049
You said you loved him this morning.
612
00:39:19,049 --> 00:39:20,688
No, I didn't.
613
00:39:20,688 --> 00:39:23,168
No, I said "maybe".
614
00:39:23,168 --> 00:39:24,648
I might.
615
00:39:28,328 --> 00:39:29,688
Meeting her for a drink.
616
00:39:29,688 --> 00:39:31,408
Yeah, what do you want? A medal?
617
00:39:31,408 --> 00:39:33,008
Freaks.
618
00:39:37,528 --> 00:39:39,528
Well?
619
00:39:39,528 --> 00:39:41,688
I'm not talking to him.
620
00:39:41,688 --> 00:39:43,928
Look, treat 'em mean.
621
00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:48,568
I'm going for a walk.
622
00:39:48,568 --> 00:39:51,408
To the Jockey, by any chance?
623
00:39:51,408 --> 00:39:53,528
No.
624
00:39:58,128 --> 00:40:00,408
Stood you up, has she?
625
00:40:00,408 --> 00:40:02,888
No. Just a bit late, that's all.
626
00:40:02,888 --> 00:40:04,648
You want to get
your priorities right.
627
00:40:04,648 --> 00:40:06,008
How so?
628
00:40:06,008 --> 00:40:07,728
You don't even care about this bird.
629
00:40:07,728 --> 00:40:10,367
Some girl you'll likely
never see again.
630
00:40:10,367 --> 00:40:12,527
Should focus your energies
on the future.
631
00:40:14,967 --> 00:40:16,127
Which is?
632
00:40:23,927 --> 00:40:25,767
Twins!
633
00:40:25,767 --> 00:40:28,167
I didn't shag her, I shagged her!
634
00:40:32,807 --> 00:40:36,007
The sister... I shagged the sister.
635
00:40:52,167 --> 00:40:53,287
Where d'you get the chair?
636
00:40:53,287 --> 00:40:54,967
My house.
637
00:40:54,967 --> 00:40:57,407
You got a car?
638
00:40:57,407 --> 00:40:58,727
I brought it on the bus.
639
00:40:58,727 --> 00:41:00,127
So, you planned this?
640
00:41:00,127 --> 00:41:02,646
If you'd spoke to me,
I wouldn't need it.
641
00:41:02,646 --> 00:41:05,366
Then I'd just be an idiot
who carried a chair across
642
00:41:05,366 --> 00:41:07,326
Manchester on a bus for no reason.
643
00:41:07,326 --> 00:41:10,046
It's not cute, you know.
644
00:41:10,046 --> 00:41:11,806
It could be seen as creepy.
645
00:41:11,806 --> 00:41:13,766
You know, like a stalker.
646
00:41:16,766 --> 00:41:19,006
So you just gonna sit there?
647
00:41:19,006 --> 00:41:19,806
Yep.
648
00:41:19,806 --> 00:41:22,206
Why?
649
00:41:22,206 --> 00:41:23,846
Cos you kissed me.
650
00:41:23,846 --> 00:41:27,846
And you don't strike me as the type
of girl who just kisses anybody.
651
00:41:27,846 --> 00:41:29,326
Suit yourself.
652
00:41:32,366 --> 00:41:34,766
Look round. Go on, look round.
653
00:42:08,645 --> 00:42:10,045
Mimi Maguire!
654
00:42:11,645 --> 00:42:14,445
Catherine Mary Joy Maguire.
655
00:42:14,445 --> 00:42:16,525
Get your big old arse out here.
656
00:42:33,965 --> 00:42:35,965
So, here we are.
657
00:42:42,324 --> 00:42:44,164
Did you think I wouldn't find out?
658
00:42:46,484 --> 00:42:47,804
What are you waiting for?
659
00:42:47,804 --> 00:42:49,444
I don't think so, Mimi.
660
00:42:49,444 --> 00:42:54,404
See I've also compensated young
Terrence here to take a pop at you.
661
00:42:54,404 --> 00:42:55,884
Two for one, spring sale.
662
00:42:55,884 --> 00:42:59,524
It's never too late
to think again, you know.
663
00:42:59,524 --> 00:43:00,924
My thoughts precisely.
664
00:43:02,524 --> 00:43:04,604
It's none...
665
00:43:04,604 --> 00:43:07,124
or both, Mimi.
666
00:43:07,124 --> 00:43:08,964
What do you think?
667
00:43:14,524 --> 00:43:17,364
I fucking hate you.
668
00:43:17,364 --> 00:43:19,004
I understand.
669
00:43:20,804 --> 00:43:23,244
And I'm sorry.
670
00:43:25,604 --> 00:43:27,324
I'm not too fond of myself neither.
671
00:43:30,563 --> 00:43:34,403
That's why changes have to happen,
whether you like them or not.
672
00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:39,323
He did stray from the fold,
Mimi, but it was never consummated.
673
00:43:39,323 --> 00:43:41,363
I mean, what man doesn't window shop?
674
00:43:41,363 --> 00:43:43,723
How the fuck do you know that?
675
00:43:43,723 --> 00:43:45,163
Yes, how you know?
676
00:43:49,483 --> 00:43:52,963
Intuition, empathy.
677
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,483
What changes?
678
00:43:54,483 --> 00:43:56,763
Fundamental ones.
679
00:43:56,763 --> 00:44:00,243
The kind that take
a long time to negotiate.
680
00:44:03,323 --> 00:44:04,963
Call it off, Terry.
681
00:44:07,443 --> 00:44:09,763
You can go now, Terry.
We can deal with it.
682
00:44:09,763 --> 00:44:10,523
It's gone too far, Paddy.
683
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:13,603
What are you talking about? >
684
00:44:13,603 --> 00:44:17,403
What, you don't think I do this
for the profit margin, do you?
685
00:44:17,403 --> 00:44:21,882
I've made arrangements
with certain parties about business opportunities here.
686
00:44:21,882 --> 00:44:25,722
A lot of people are going to be very
happy to see the back of you two.
687
00:44:25,722 --> 00:44:28,762
It's not really my argument.
I'd just be cannon fodder.
688
00:44:28,762 --> 00:44:30,082
Do not move a fucking muscle.
689
00:44:30,082 --> 00:44:31,762
I've got a dicky tummy.
690
00:44:36,322 --> 00:44:38,322
You can't half rabbit on, bitch.
691
00:44:55,322 --> 00:44:56,402
Who the fuck are you?
692
00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:57,562
Debbie's new boyfriend.
693
00:44:57,562 --> 00:44:58,682
No, he's not.
694
00:44:58,682 --> 00:45:01,842
Yes, he is!
695
00:45:01,842 --> 00:45:04,002
You love him.
696
00:45:04,002 --> 00:45:06,922
She is infatuated with Carl.
697
00:45:06,922 --> 00:45:11,761
They have run two insurance
scams now, over Kash's death,
698
00:45:11,761 --> 00:45:15,241
which they may actually have played
a part in, willing or otherwise.
699
00:45:15,241 --> 00:45:19,441
These two took out hits on each
other because he had an ultimately
700
00:45:19,441 --> 00:45:24,201
unsuccessful dalliance with a psycho
who turned him into a heroin addict.
701
00:45:24,201 --> 00:45:28,961
And I don't ever want to talk to
any of you again, about anything.
702
00:45:28,961 --> 00:45:31,841
I have no desire to know.
703
00:45:31,841 --> 00:45:34,441
Is that enough listening for ya?
704
00:45:36,161 --> 00:45:40,441
Tell me again about your
relationship expertise, sweetheart.
705
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,880
'Information is
a dangerous commodity.'
706
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,040
'If it's misused and misunderstood,
it can have real consequences.'
707
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,760
'But information is only words.'
708
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:17,680
'Actions speak louder.'
709
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,360
'Much louder.'
710
00:46:21,410 --> 00:46:25,960
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