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1
00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:04,040
I just feel like the
office could be friendlier,
2
00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:05,779
which is why I think wearing nametags
3
00:00:05,782 --> 00:00:08,561
with your favorite movie on
them is actually a great idea.
4
00:00:08,564 --> 00:00:10,964
Ooh, did I tell you I
think I found an apartment?
5
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,432
You promised me that we were going to
6
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:14,735
- stand in awkward silence.
- You're funny.
7
00:00:14,737 --> 00:00:17,037
It's in this up-and-coming
neighborhood called Mu-To.
8
00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:18,172
Cute, right?
9
00:00:18,174 --> 00:00:20,107
Mu-To is short for Murder Town.
10
00:00:20,109 --> 00:00:23,177
Aww, so that's why the
kitchen had drains in it.
11
00:00:23,179 --> 00:00:25,112
Oh, finally. I hope
these are worth the wait.
12
00:00:25,114 --> 00:00:28,916
Hi, I'll have two bear
claws, a chocolate scone...
13
00:00:28,918 --> 00:00:30,517
[maniacal laughing]
14
00:00:30,519 --> 00:00:33,487
[epic music]
15
00:00:33,489 --> 00:00:37,291
16
00:00:37,293 --> 00:00:39,193
[commotion, people shouting]
17
00:00:39,195 --> 00:00:42,129
Special delivery!
18
00:00:42,131 --> 00:00:44,198
[laughing]
19
00:00:45,691 --> 00:00:47,234
[all exclaim]
20
00:00:47,236 --> 00:00:49,036
Nailed it!
21
00:00:49,038 --> 00:00:51,233
[siren wailing distantly]
22
00:00:51,236 --> 00:00:53,036
We're out of everything.
23
00:00:53,038 --> 00:00:55,605
Oh.
24
00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:58,575
[heroic music]
25
00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:05,481
26
00:01:21,805 --> 00:01:25,939
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
27
00:01:28,344 --> 00:01:30,177
Oh, here's something
cute in East Charm City.
28
00:01:30,179 --> 00:01:31,879
Oh, near the cute insane asylum?
29
00:01:31,881 --> 00:01:33,447
Or near the cute,
abandoned mannequin factory
30
00:01:33,449 --> 00:01:35,082
- where all the pedophiles live?
- [sighs] I have to
31
00:01:35,084 --> 00:01:37,218
- increase my price range.
- Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:41,288
Anyone else stay in a hotel
carved out of ice this weekend?
33
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:43,224
Mm, I slept on a pile of clothes
34
00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:45,693
at my weed dealer's mom's place.
35
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:47,424
Harrowing.
36
00:01:47,426 --> 00:01:48,858
Anyway, I was in Iceland,
37
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,660
at the Wayne Industries
managers retreat.
38
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:52,262
You were in Greenland.
39
00:01:52,264 --> 00:01:53,830
There was a lot of ice.
40
00:01:53,832 --> 00:01:55,932
Anyway, our division
has made a lot of noise
41
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:58,768
because this one has
whipped you all into shape.
42
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,604
- [imitates whip cracking]
- Ooh.
43
00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:01,809
I don't need to tell
you why you shouldn't...
44
00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:03,280
I regretted it immediately.
45
00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,317
- Hmm.
- They are green-lighting
46
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:07,385
your anti-rubble umbrella.
47
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:09,187
- That's amazing!
- [all exclaiming]
48
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:10,822
Bah! Nooo!
49
00:02:10,824 --> 00:02:12,057
[laughter, chatter]
50
00:02:12,059 --> 00:02:13,225
The Rumbrella.
51
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,702
Strong, stylish, lightweight.
52
00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:17,369
- Just like you, Teddy.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:17,372 --> 00:02:20,373
That's fantastic. We will have
it done by the end of the week.
54
00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:21,875
- Corporate's gonna be like...
- Oh...
55
00:02:21,877 --> 00:02:24,778
"What? Who's this squad of bad asses?
56
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:27,013
Let's give them more projects."
57
00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,049
Or we could pick a reasonable timeframe
58
00:02:29,051 --> 00:02:30,984
and Corporate's gonna be
like, "What? Who's the squad
59
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:32,719
of sensible individuals
who know how to achieve
60
00:02:32,721 --> 00:02:34,754
- a work/life balance?"
- Yeah, yeah.
61
00:02:34,756 --> 00:02:36,923
What? I like Emily's idea better.
62
00:02:36,925 --> 00:02:39,526
Get crackin'. Or as they say in Iceland,
63
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,828
[speaking "Icelandic"]
64
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:47,100
- What does that mean?
- "Sir, please don't urinate
65
00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:49,169
in the thermal hot springs."
66
00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:52,772
I only remember it
'cause I heard it a lot.
67
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:55,208
No one tells a Wayne where to pee.
68
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,676
[laughter, chatter]
69
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:58,211
Yeah, but isn't it funny?
70
00:02:58,213 --> 00:02:59,946
[laughs]
71
00:02:59,948 --> 00:03:02,465
They look like they're having fun.
72
00:03:02,468 --> 00:03:04,635
Hey, do you think they'd
wanna go... I don't know...
73
00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:06,236
Bowling or something Friday night?
74
00:03:06,238 --> 00:03:07,404
Definitely.
75
00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:09,139
Oh, with you? No.
76
00:03:09,141 --> 00:03:10,607
- Okay, I know you're joking.
- I'm not joking.
77
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,275
But I'm still new in town.
78
00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:14,611
I mean, I work all the time.
79
00:03:14,613 --> 00:03:16,246
It can get kinda lonely, you know?
80
00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:17,948
Listen, you seem like a nice person
81
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,401
but you're also their boss,
82
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:21,550
and a boss can't be friends
with their employees.
83
00:03:21,553 --> 00:03:24,554
Well this boss can. [chuckles]
84
00:03:26,025 --> 00:03:28,592
- And here we go, here we go.
- [murmuring]
85
00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:31,410
All right, I laid out the
schedule for the Rumbrella.
86
00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:34,014
It's ambitious, but we're not
afraid of a little hard work.
87
00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:36,750
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
88
00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:39,186
- All right, hold that thought.
- If you've got the top pick,
89
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:41,054
- I'd shy away from Superman.
- Mm.
90
00:03:41,056 --> 00:03:43,423
Sure, Supes can save an
entire building full of people,
91
00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:45,826
but some weeks he only saves Lois Lane.
92
00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:47,561
- And that's just one point.
- That's a fact.
93
00:03:47,563 --> 00:03:50,264
Didn't Teddy pick him with
his first pick last year?
94
00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:52,266
Oh, I know he did. That
was a rhetorical question.
95
00:03:52,268 --> 00:03:53,734
- Suck it, Teddy!
- Oh!
96
00:03:53,737 --> 00:03:55,511
Hey, I will suck nothing. All right?
97
00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:56,545
It was the right pick at the time.
98
00:03:56,547 --> 00:03:57,513
Oh, yeah. The right pick
99
00:03:57,515 --> 00:03:59,114
if you want to come in last.
100
00:03:59,116 --> 00:04:00,783
- Like a bitch!
- Ooh!
101
00:04:00,785 --> 00:04:03,359
- Yeah!
- Oh, fantasy league, huh?
102
00:04:03,362 --> 00:04:05,929
Sounds like my kind of fun.
Mixing it up with some friends.
103
00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:08,599
Fair warning: [singsong]
I can bring the trash talk.
104
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:11,635
You do not want me coming
for you on a group e-mail.
105
00:04:11,637 --> 00:04:15,205
Sorry. League's full.
106
00:04:15,207 --> 00:04:18,642
Oh. Well, I am super busy anyways.
107
00:04:18,644 --> 00:04:23,414
Otherwise, I would
bring it... like a bitch!
108
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:25,382
Did you just call yourself a bitch?
109
00:04:25,384 --> 00:04:27,985
I am better over e-mail.
110
00:04:27,987 --> 00:04:31,417
Let's see where we're
at on the Rumbrella.
111
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,420
Okay, so there's a
massive super battle above,
112
00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:37,123
but fortunately, our customer
is holding her Rumbrella.
113
00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,392
In my mind, it's my sweet grandma.
114
00:04:39,394 --> 00:04:41,394
- And she's bringing me soup.
- Nice touch.
115
00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:43,696
- Mm.
- Rubble starts to fall and...
116
00:04:43,698 --> 00:04:45,298
[buzzer blares]
117
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,366
[crack]
118
00:04:47,636 --> 00:04:48,842
[shrilly] No!
119
00:04:48,845 --> 00:04:50,578
Grandma!
120
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:53,214
Ooh, looks like we're
gonna be working late tonight.
121
00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:55,450
[lightly tense music]
122
00:04:55,452 --> 00:04:58,553
Doesn't mean we can't have
fun. Should we order pizza?
123
00:04:58,555 --> 00:04:59,854
[sighs]
124
00:04:59,856 --> 00:05:03,158
Jackie, what is wrong with this picture?
125
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,926
There are no women or minorities?
126
00:05:04,928 --> 00:05:06,567
Be serious!
127
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:10,147
What is wrong is I am missing.
You can only see my shoulder.
128
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:12,250
- How did you let this happen?
- I wasn't there
129
00:05:12,252 --> 00:05:14,452
when the photo was taken,
Van, because you forgot
130
00:05:14,454 --> 00:05:17,722
your ivory cufflinks and
made me fly 3,000 miles
131
00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:19,658
- to go and get them.
- Oh, so I'm supposed to
132
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,693
wear the gold ones two days
in a row like some kind of
133
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:24,032
certified pre-owned car salesman?
134
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:25,532
You know what? Maybe
I ask too much of you.
135
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,226
- I agree.
- Maybe if I want
136
00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:29,763
something done right, I
should just do it myself.
137
00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:32,195
- I'd love that.
- I'm trying to say
138
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:35,030
you are incompet... you don't
even feel shame properly.
139
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:38,506
Didn't make the Dream Team, huh, Van?
140
00:05:38,508 --> 00:05:39,540
Hello, Samuel.
141
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,209
And you know that I did.
142
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:43,477
That...
143
00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:45,913
That is my shoulder.
144
00:05:45,915 --> 00:05:48,583
Really? Well, that's my face.
145
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:51,586
See, usually people prefer
to have those in pictures.
146
00:05:51,588 --> 00:05:54,655
Which is why I'm on Facebook
and not Shoulderbook.
147
00:05:54,657 --> 00:05:55,856
Ha ha ha.
148
00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:56,811
Hey, Van.
149
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,581
How come you're not in that photo?
150
00:05:58,584 --> 00:06:01,095
Oh. I like her.
151
00:06:01,097 --> 00:06:03,731
Samuel Greene. Head of Human Resources.
152
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:07,969
And fully visible member
of the Wayne Dream Team.
153
00:06:07,971 --> 00:06:10,324
If you need anything
at all, you let me know.
154
00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:11,839
Mm-mm.
155
00:06:11,841 --> 00:06:14,575
Well, he seems nice.
156
00:06:14,577 --> 00:06:16,577
So do chimps. Until you dress them up
157
00:06:16,579 --> 00:06:18,179
and have them perform "12 Angry Men"
158
00:06:18,181 --> 00:06:19,947
for your Yale buddies.
159
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,481
Yes, that happened.
160
00:06:24,483 --> 00:06:26,116
[buzzer blares]
161
00:06:26,118 --> 00:06:27,217
[crack]
162
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,021
Guys, I can't stress
enough the importance
163
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,156
of peoples' heads remaining
attached to their bodies.
164
00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:36,309
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy Superhero League...
165
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,812
Have you just been
playing that fantasy site?
166
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:40,581
Emily, we're creative people.
167
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,749
We can't just grind away
for 15 hours straight.
168
00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:44,418
I totally get that you have a process,
169
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:46,553
but Corporate said they
need this done by Friday.
170
00:06:46,555 --> 00:06:48,222
No, you said you
need it done by Friday,
171
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,623
which makes me think you
don't fully understand
172
00:06:49,625 --> 00:06:50,856
the meaning of the word need.
173
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:53,494
It's like when I say I
need to own a pet shark.
174
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,796
I don't need one. I
just really want one.
175
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:57,564
Emily don't worry about it, okay?
176
00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:59,745
We're gonna finish this. We
know how to manage our time.
177
00:06:59,747 --> 00:07:01,068
[slurping]
178
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,270
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
179
00:07:03,272 --> 00:07:04,905
[all exclaiming]
180
00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,940
I think I'm gonna go
with the Flash this year.
181
00:07:06,942 --> 00:07:08,609
You always wanna go with the Flash.
182
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:09,750
- You always go with the Flash.
- You know, he's sleek.
183
00:07:09,752 --> 00:07:11,327
We can't even see what he's doing.
184
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,147
- That's the point of it.
- Why won't they listen?
185
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:14,615
There has to be a way to motivate them.
186
00:07:14,617 --> 00:07:16,183
[laughter]
187
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:19,209
There is. It's called being a dick.
188
00:07:19,212 --> 00:07:21,579
[laughter, chatter]
189
00:07:21,582 --> 00:07:23,282
Yeah, but then they'll hate me.
190
00:07:23,284 --> 00:07:25,417
What would that look like?
Any different than this?
191
00:07:25,419 --> 00:07:27,253
Look, I'm sure you
look at me and think,
192
00:07:27,255 --> 00:07:28,921
"She probably has a million friends."
193
00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,323
No. Not once. Not ever.
I never thought that.
194
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:33,325
The other day, I took
the elevator up and down,
195
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,465
just trying to meet people.
196
00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:37,129
Oh, my gosh. That's so sad.
197
00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:39,365
There any footage of that?
198
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:42,434
Look, you're the boss.
You've gotta be the bad guy.
199
00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:44,069
- [sighs]
- Susan?
200
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:49,010
Little pin-up of some
beach bunnies, eh?
201
00:07:49,013 --> 00:07:50,412
Inappropriate.
202
00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:52,478
That's just my daughter's swim team.
203
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,847
Makes for an uncomfortable
work environment.
204
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,415
Get rid of it.
205
00:07:58,548 --> 00:08:00,649
If you want people to do what you say,
206
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:02,150
you've gotta be the bad guy.
207
00:08:02,152 --> 00:08:05,053
[sighs]
208
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,889
Or someone does.
209
00:08:07,891 --> 00:08:10,859
What's your policy on people
using company computers
210
00:08:10,861 --> 00:08:12,727
to play Superhero Fantasy League?
211
00:08:12,729 --> 00:08:16,431
Usually we turn a blind eye,
unless it's causing a problem.
212
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:19,434
What if it is causing a problem?
213
00:08:19,436 --> 00:08:22,837
- Then things get fun.
- Mm.
214
00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:32,159
Van, I think I know how
to fix the photo situation.
215
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:33,327
Already done.
216
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:35,863
I am solving this in a way
217
00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:38,966
that your little mind
couldn't possibly comprehend.
218
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,935
You're taking a picture
of yourself to Photoshop it
219
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,670
into the picture of the Dream Team,
220
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:45,973
and then you're gonna mount
that in the lobby instead.
221
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:47,942
- Oh.
- Van, please let me help you
222
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,910
before you do something very stupid.
223
00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:51,178
Too late!
224
00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:52,875
It's already done.
225
00:08:52,878 --> 00:08:54,477
Jackie, I know what I'm doing.
226
00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:58,381
My daddy didn't have
someone else raise a dummy.
227
00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:00,450
Come on, come on.
228
00:09:02,554 --> 00:09:04,320
Hey, guys. How goes it?
229
00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:05,989
The fantasy site's not loading.
230
00:09:05,991 --> 00:09:07,290
Ron, can you get on?
231
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:09,225
No. It's blocked!
232
00:09:09,227 --> 00:09:11,895
Blocked? You sure? Let me check.
233
00:09:11,897 --> 00:09:14,264
- [video game-like music plays]
- No Wayne, Jose!
234
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:16,094
- Dang! Dang it to hell.
- No Wayne, Jose!
235
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,396
Me, too!
236
00:09:17,399 --> 00:09:19,900
Guys, I was watching
that sad YouTube video
237
00:09:19,902 --> 00:09:22,035
of Emily going up and
down in the elevator
238
00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:25,005
when that vaguely racist
cartoon bandit came on my screen.
239
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:27,407
What? No, it's just
the fantasy site, right?
240
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:29,843
The entire Internet's gone!
241
00:09:29,845 --> 00:09:32,946
[dramatic music]
242
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,414
I'll check Susan's computer.
243
00:09:34,416 --> 00:09:36,316
Move it, Susan!
244
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:39,086
My God.
245
00:09:39,088 --> 00:09:41,684
The only site we can get on is Linkedln.
246
00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:43,921
What monster did this to us?
247
00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:47,157
I know who did this.
248
00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:50,260
- Guys, I'm sorry...
- It was HR.
249
00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:53,831
- [glass shatters]
- ...That HR did this to you!
250
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,799
Man, this is a real bummer.
251
00:09:55,801 --> 00:09:59,031
Dang! Well, guess we might
as well get back to work.
252
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:01,668
Or we could figure out
how to get the Internet back.
253
00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:04,138
I mean, we're engineers.
This is what we're paid to do.
254
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,873
- Yeah.
- Actually, you're paid...
255
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,174
Yeah! No, no, no. Don't worry.
256
00:10:07,176 --> 00:10:08,476
We're gonna put everything else aside
257
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:09,677
until we figure this out.
258
00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:11,278
[sighs]
259
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,147
Emily, get in here!
260
00:10:13,149 --> 00:10:15,249
Come on!
261
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,685
So I think there was some
sort of miscommunication.
262
00:10:17,687 --> 00:10:19,654
I just wanted the fantasy site blocked.
263
00:10:19,656 --> 00:10:20,721
Now they're spending all their time
264
00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:21,922
trying to get the Internet back.
265
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,058
So if you could just put it back.
266
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:27,795
Emily...[ahem] What
do you think HR does?
267
00:10:27,797 --> 00:10:30,064
Oh, well, you know, it's...
268
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:33,200
HR does the... It's
human resources and...
269
00:10:33,202 --> 00:10:35,302
You have no idea.
270
00:10:35,304 --> 00:10:38,335
And neither does anyone else.
271
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,238
So the only way for me to keep my job
272
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,440
is if Corporate sees me doing something.
273
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,108
Okay, but come on.
274
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,543
Taking away the whole Internet
275
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,078
seems a little unreasonable.
276
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:51,282
That... that's very
aggressive language, Emily.
277
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:55,282
You're flirting with a
six-hour anti-bullying video.
278
00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:56,851
- Well...
- Oh, did...
279
00:10:56,853 --> 00:10:58,253
did you wanna say something?
280
00:10:58,255 --> 00:10:59,621
No?
281
00:10:59,623 --> 00:11:01,323
Didn't think so.
282
00:11:01,325 --> 00:11:03,858
[edgy music]
283
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,927
[sighs]
284
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:07,993
All right, this will cut off
285
00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:10,028
the heating, air
conditioning and sewage,
286
00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,781
but it might get us our Internet back.
287
00:11:11,784 --> 00:11:13,317
Do it.
288
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,068
[electricity fizzles, power down hum]
289
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:19,371
- [workers murmuring]
- [video game-like music]
290
00:11:19,373 --> 00:11:20,873
- No!
- Aw, man!
291
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:23,575
- I should have peed first.
- Mm.
292
00:11:23,577 --> 00:11:26,078
Hey, what are you doing coming from HR?
293
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,347
- [lightly suspenseful music]
- Uh...
294
00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:30,449
Oh. [laughs] Were you
making that whipping noise
295
00:11:30,451 --> 00:11:31,650
to other black people?
296
00:11:31,652 --> 00:11:35,487
No. I was just...
297
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:38,787
trying to get the Internet back...
298
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:42,124
for you guys because I
knew you wanted it so bad.
299
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:43,659
- What?
- You did that for us?
300
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,091
I mean, nobody screws with Samuel.
301
00:11:45,094 --> 00:11:47,263
I mean, to be honest, Ron
even thought for a second
302
00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:49,098
that you were the reason
the Internet was shut down.
303
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,400
[forced laugh] Ron.
304
00:11:51,402 --> 00:11:53,302
Yeah, I had you all wrong.
305
00:11:53,304 --> 00:11:55,137
And I try not to use the word hero
306
00:11:55,139 --> 00:11:56,939
outside of a sandwich context...
307
00:11:56,941 --> 00:11:58,774
but you just might be one.
308
00:11:58,776 --> 00:12:01,076
You know, we were being a
little tough on you earlier.
309
00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:03,078
What do you say about
joining our fantasy league?
310
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,947
Well, I thought you said it was full.
311
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,448
Susan, you're out! And don't gimme
312
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:08,250
that look, Susan... You
knew this was coming.
313
00:12:08,252 --> 00:12:10,816
Guys, let's get back
to work on that Rumbrella.
314
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:12,952
For Emily. You wanted it by Friday?
315
00:12:12,954 --> 00:12:15,121
Did I say that? I don't even remember.
316
00:12:15,123 --> 00:12:16,522
I think you said Monday.
317
00:12:16,524 --> 00:12:17,590
Friday. Definitely Friday.
318
00:12:17,592 --> 00:12:19,225
I think. Whatever. [laughs]
319
00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:22,122
Beautiful.
320
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,658
- You don't think the finger guns
321
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,860
are a little much?
322
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:27,662
- Hey Van!
- Both: Pew, pew, pew.
323
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,298
Hey! [imitates machine gun]
324
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,467
[laughs] You tell me.
325
00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:34,236
- Know what the best part is?
- Yes, I do.
326
00:12:34,238 --> 00:12:35,637
But what do you think it is?
327
00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:37,372
I did this on my own.
328
00:12:37,374 --> 00:12:39,708
I personally told the
art department to do this
329
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:42,010
- [elevator bell dings]
- for me, all by myself.
330
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,678
So instead of withstanding rubble,
331
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,380
the Rumbrella needs to repel...
332
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:47,549
[light music]
333
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:49,284
Did Van Photoshop himself into that?
334
00:12:49,286 --> 00:12:50,619
Yes, he did.
335
00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:52,454
And can we get the photo he used?
336
00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:54,222
Yes, you can.
337
00:12:54,224 --> 00:12:55,524
Both: Hm.
338
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,854
Guess what?
339
00:13:03,856 --> 00:13:05,356
The team is back on track to finish
340
00:13:05,358 --> 00:13:07,224
the Rumbrella, and they invited me
341
00:13:07,226 --> 00:13:08,626
into their fantasy league.
342
00:13:08,628 --> 00:13:10,294
Looks like I hit that
friend/boss sweet spot.
343
00:13:10,296 --> 00:13:11,796
I don't believe it. It doesn't exist.
344
00:13:11,798 --> 00:13:14,031
Discard.
345
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:17,368
- Van, are we friends?
- [laughs]
346
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:19,236
Bosses cannot be friends
with their employees.
347
00:13:19,238 --> 00:13:21,138
It is a myth, like the Yeti...
348
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,840
or the unconditional love of a mother.
349
00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,241
And he has spent a lot of money
350
00:13:24,243 --> 00:13:26,143
in search of both of those things.
351
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:28,913
Although I am making
progress on the Yeti.
352
00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:30,915
Oh, there he is! Pew, pew, pew, pew.
353
00:13:30,917 --> 00:13:34,352
Ah! [all imitating gunfire]
354
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,554
- Yeah! Yeah, man.
- Boom, boom!
355
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,422
Ooh hoo hoo!
356
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:39,857
What's with the finger guns?
357
00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:41,015
- Oh, you don't know.
- Mm-mm.
358
00:13:41,017 --> 00:13:42,326
- You're gonna love this.
- Okay.
359
00:13:42,328 --> 00:13:43,361
Follow me.
360
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:44,862
Now that I'm a fully visible
361
00:13:44,864 --> 00:13:46,063
member of the Dream Team,
362
00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:48,032
everyone is giving me props...
363
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:50,768
[dramatic stings]
364
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:55,072
365
00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:57,575
What the hell is this?
366
00:13:57,577 --> 00:13:59,010
You've been memed.
367
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,678
Hey, gunslinger.
368
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,347
[all imitating gunfire]
369
00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:06,517
What is happening here?
370
00:14:06,519 --> 00:14:08,452
Samuel.
371
00:14:08,454 --> 00:14:11,355
- Look what they've done to me.
- Van. Come on.
372
00:14:11,357 --> 00:14:13,090
It was just a joke.
373
00:14:13,092 --> 00:14:15,559
Ooh, just a joke.
374
00:14:15,561 --> 00:14:17,762
Well, I have a joke of my own.
375
00:14:17,764 --> 00:14:19,764
Uhh, knock, knock?
376
00:14:24,704 --> 00:14:25,770
Who's there?
377
00:14:25,772 --> 00:14:27,605
- Really?
- Susan!
378
00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:30,441
A six-hour anti-bullying video
379
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:31,909
you'll all be watching this weekend
380
00:14:31,911 --> 00:14:34,045
because I have just written you up.
381
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,147
- [all exclaiming]
- No, no, no, no.
382
00:14:36,149 --> 00:14:38,215
You are being ridiculous.
383
00:14:38,217 --> 00:14:40,317
[edgy notes]
384
00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:43,387
You mean as ridiculous as
you asking me to stop them from
385
00:14:43,389 --> 00:14:45,423
- playing their fantasy league?
- Shh! Shh!
386
00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:47,892
- Wait, what?
- What?
387
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:49,760
- What's he talking about?
- [sighs] Guys,
388
00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:52,163
let's be honest, we were bullying.
389
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:54,432
We need to just take our
punishment and walk away
390
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,300
and not listen to
anything else anyone says.
391
00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:58,269
- Emily betrayed you.
- [workers murmuring]
392
00:14:58,271 --> 00:15:01,138
I didn't take away your
Internet for no reason.
393
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:02,440
She asked me to.
394
00:15:02,442 --> 00:15:03,974
[gasps, murmurs]
395
00:15:03,976 --> 00:15:06,577
[edgy music]
396
00:15:06,579 --> 00:15:08,479
I'm just gonna go ride
the elevator up and down
397
00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:09,947
for a while.
398
00:15:09,949 --> 00:15:13,584
399
00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:17,154
And with the tenth pick
in the longest draft ever
400
00:15:17,156 --> 00:15:19,256
because Emily had our
Internet taken away...
401
00:15:19,258 --> 00:15:20,624
- Susan.
- Thanks, guys.
402
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,460
I really appreciate you
letting me back in...
403
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:24,181
Enough, Susan. You're only
here so we can kick out Emily.
404
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,688
Guys, I'm sorry.
405
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,531
I should have been straight with you
406
00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:28,966
from the beginning,
instead of going to HR.
407
00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:30,468
- Are we cool?
- Uh, no.
408
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,870
We're the opposite of cool.
409
00:15:31,873 --> 00:15:34,772
You're on the very short
list of things that upset me.
410
00:15:34,774 --> 00:15:38,375
It's you and the shockingly
high price of shark ownership.
411
00:15:38,377 --> 00:15:39,710
It's not all my fault.
412
00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,312
I wouldn't have done what I did
413
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:42,980
if you guys would have
just finished the Rumbrella,
414
00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:45,116
which is... I don't know... Your job.
415
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,769
- And we said we would do it.
- Yeah.
416
00:15:46,772 --> 00:15:48,754
We bitch and we procrastinate
because that's what we do.
417
00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:50,155
But we would've gotten it done
418
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,390
at the absolute last possible minute.
419
00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,025
You said you had our backs.
420
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:55,094
But then you went behind our backs.
421
00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:57,262
Yeah, just like all our other bosses.
422
00:15:57,264 --> 00:15:59,591
Except for "I Think I Can Fly" Tom.
423
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:01,127
He never had the chance.
424
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,062
Relax, Emily. We'll
get it done by Friday.
425
00:16:03,064 --> 00:16:04,942
You'll look great.
Corporate will love you.
426
00:16:04,945 --> 00:16:06,845
[sighs]
427
00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:08,570
I swear to God, if I open my eyes
428
00:16:08,573 --> 00:16:10,240
and you are wearing that "Scream" mask,
429
00:16:10,243 --> 00:16:12,009
I am going to literally piss myself.
430
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,812
Just open your eyes, Van.
431
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,547
Ha! I told you I was there. I knew it!
432
00:16:18,549 --> 00:16:20,116
The photographer cropped you out
433
00:16:20,118 --> 00:16:21,444
because you were being a dick.
434
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,185
So I told him you were dying
435
00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:25,592
and I needed this for your funeral.
436
00:16:25,595 --> 00:16:27,228
My God.
437
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:28,998
Did the doctor say how long I have?
438
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,227
If you never give me another raise,
439
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,829
your face right now is payment enough.
440
00:16:33,831 --> 00:16:35,944
You must feel so smug right now,
441
00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:37,912
that you handled this when I couldn't.
442
00:16:40,338 --> 00:16:43,306
[imitating gunshots]
443
00:16:43,308 --> 00:16:45,641
[light music]
444
00:16:45,643 --> 00:16:47,376
That's not how they work.
445
00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:50,668
It's rubble time!
446
00:16:50,671 --> 00:16:52,581
Are you ready, Emily?
"Sorry, I'm too busy
447
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:53,983
"narcing on my friends because I think
448
00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,108
I'm better than everybody."
449
00:16:55,111 --> 00:16:57,386
You're not better than everybody, Emily!
450
00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:58,387
[screams]
451
00:16:58,389 --> 00:17:00,739
[clears throat]
452
00:17:00,742 --> 00:17:02,608
I'm sorry. Please don't write me up.
453
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,827
I've been working really hard.
454
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:07,881
I'm here to inform you
that the Internet is back on
455
00:17:07,884 --> 00:17:10,666
and you don't have to watch
the anti-bullying video.
456
00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:11,834
What happened?
457
00:17:11,836 --> 00:17:14,070
I'm not at liberty to say.
458
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:17,373
I see that open-toed shoe, Susan.
459
00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:19,742
This is a place of business.
We're not in the club.
460
00:17:19,744 --> 00:17:21,577
So if I do this,
461
00:17:21,579 --> 00:17:23,546
none of them have to
sit through it, right?
462
00:17:23,548 --> 00:17:25,548
As long as the six-hour
anti-bullying video
463
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,950
gets watched four times,
my quota is filled.
464
00:17:27,952 --> 00:17:29,013
It can't be that bad.
465
00:17:29,016 --> 00:17:31,787
Oh, I've seen it break NAVY SEALs.
466
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,590
There's a 75-minute
song about name calling
467
00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:36,559
performed by a puppet.
468
00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:38,260
- Enjoy.
- [orchestral music]
469
00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:41,263
470
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:42,431
[sighs]
471
00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:50,321
Hi, I am recovering
super villain Prince Evillo.
472
00:17:50,324 --> 00:17:53,025
I know, I know. The name.
473
00:17:53,027 --> 00:17:55,961
Anyway, I am required to talk to you...
474
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:57,997
- [yawns]
- About bullying.
475
00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,466
What? I am doing it!
476
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:04,904
So remember what
R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells out.
477
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:08,140
- The R stands for "Respect."
- R. E.
478
00:18:08,142 --> 00:18:11,377
The E stands for "Everybody
better respect me."
479
00:18:11,379 --> 00:18:15,748
[dark music]
480
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:19,151
I don't get it. Jay Z can
say that word and I can't?
481
00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:20,586
- [groans]
- [thud]
482
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:22,588
[video soundtrack continues]
483
00:18:22,591 --> 00:18:24,458
Oh, she's been doing this for 24 hours?
484
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:26,293
She told me not to tell
you, and I wasn't going to,
485
00:18:26,295 --> 00:18:27,761
but then she started twitching.
486
00:18:27,764 --> 00:18:29,970
- All: Ooh!
- Yep. There it is.
487
00:18:29,973 --> 00:18:31,598
Uh-oh. Let's get her out of there.
488
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,562
Ooh.
489
00:18:32,565 --> 00:18:34,802
If a bully's being mean...
490
00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:37,037
I'll always intervene
491
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,906
'Cause being kind and friendly's
492
00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:41,275
Part of my daily routine
493
00:18:41,277 --> 00:18:43,911
Hey, it's over. You're safe now.
494
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:45,646
Thank you for taking that bullet for us.
495
00:18:45,648 --> 00:18:46,947
Least I could do.
496
00:18:46,949 --> 00:18:48,982
I'm sorry I screwed everything up.
497
00:18:48,984 --> 00:18:50,551
I was trying to be a boss and a friend,
498
00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:52,386
but I guess I ended up being neither.
499
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:53,921
Oh, Emily. That's not true.
500
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:55,122
- Really?
- Of course.
501
00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:57,057
You're definitely our boss.
502
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:59,226
And definitely not our friend.
503
00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:01,562
That played out differently
than I thought it was going to.
504
00:19:01,564 --> 00:19:02,796
It's just that we barely know you.
505
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:03,980
But we could get to know you. I mean,
506
00:19:03,982 --> 00:19:05,899
we still haven't finished
our fantasy draft.
507
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:08,736
Fuh-fuh-Fantasy
Superhero League update.
508
00:19:08,738 --> 00:19:10,471
All right, Emily. It's
the tenth pick. You're up.
509
00:19:10,473 --> 00:19:13,073
Should I take Batman or Crimson Fox?
510
00:19:13,075 --> 00:19:15,242
- I met Crimson Fox.
- Well, you gotta go
511
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:17,745
- with who you met.
- Everyone knows that.
512
00:19:17,747 --> 00:19:21,014
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay. Crimson Fox.
513
00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:22,416
- [laughter]
- So dumb!
514
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:24,818
Not even Crimson Fox
would pick Crimson Fox.
515
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:27,020
- Well I bet your grandma would.
- What does that even mean?
516
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,757
- I don't know.
- [laughter]
517
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:33,527
Jackie, I just realized I left
those cufflinks in Greenland.
518
00:19:33,529 --> 00:19:35,462
I need you to hop on a
redeye and have them back
519
00:19:35,464 --> 00:19:37,164
in time for my dinner tomorrow night.
520
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:39,199
Do you mean these cufflinks?
521
00:19:39,201 --> 00:19:41,034
Thank you!
522
00:19:41,036 --> 00:19:43,203
Didn't... polish them.
523
00:19:45,341 --> 00:19:48,342
[light music]
524
00:19:48,344 --> 00:19:50,144
525
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:52,112
Totally different cufflinks.
526
00:19:52,114 --> 00:19:54,715
I can't believe you've put
up with him all these years.
527
00:19:54,717 --> 00:19:56,450
He always remembers my birthday,
528
00:19:56,452 --> 00:19:59,820
he got my really dumb kid
into a really good school,
529
00:19:59,822 --> 00:20:02,723
and when my dog needed
super-expensive surgery,
530
00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:07,060
he paid for a guy to come
to my house and put him down.
531
00:20:07,062 --> 00:20:10,230
Well, that's... sweet.
532
00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:11,968
So...
533
00:20:11,971 --> 00:20:14,067
let's take a look at
that finished Rumbrella.
534
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:17,884
535
00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:20,374
All right, Ron's grandma
is rolling down the street.
536
00:20:20,376 --> 00:20:21,809
The Flash... My number one pick...
537
00:20:21,811 --> 00:20:23,377
Throws Professor Zoom into a building
538
00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:26,547
because the Flash is the man.
539
00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:29,082
And... this happens.
540
00:20:29,084 --> 00:20:31,018
[buzzer blares]
541
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:33,253
[boulders crashing, thudding]
542
00:20:35,491 --> 00:20:37,491
It works!
543
00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:41,528
I mean, obviously it works
because these guys are the best.
544
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:43,263
The rubble bounces off, but it destroys
545
00:20:43,265 --> 00:20:45,399
- everyone around it.
- Ah, ah, ah.
546
00:20:45,401 --> 00:20:48,266
Not if they have Rumbrellas too.
547
00:20:49,271 --> 00:20:51,939
Everyone has to have one. Ooh!
548
00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:54,875
The Rumbrella taketh
but, boy, does it giveth!
549
00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,711
[all exclaiming]
550
00:20:57,713 --> 00:20:59,947
- Breaking news.
- Oh, hey guys, check this out.
551
00:20:59,949 --> 00:21:02,449
Super villain Sinestro just imprisoned
552
00:21:02,451 --> 00:21:04,751
the Flash in the Phantom Zone.
553
00:21:04,753 --> 00:21:06,620
So it looks like the Scarlet Speedster's
554
00:21:06,622 --> 00:21:08,021
gonna be out all year.
555
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:09,923
- Ohh!
- Hey, Teddy, didn't you
556
00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:12,226
pick the Flash, like a bitch?
557
00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,595
- Ooh! Damn, girl!
- [laughter]
558
00:21:14,597 --> 00:21:16,797
And in a shocking turn of events,
559
00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:18,966
Crimson Fox just saved
an entire cruise ship.
560
00:21:18,969 --> 00:21:20,750
- What?
- So if you were crazy enough
561
00:21:20,753 --> 00:21:23,103
to take her, ha, you're feeling
pretty good about yourself.
562
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:26,206
Ohh! Snap! I own all of you.
563
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:29,209
- I don't need to to tell you...
- Yep, immediately regretted it.
564
00:21:29,212 --> 00:21:35,158
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
565
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:39,758
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