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Aunt Jane: Dear Kim I was ever
so looking forward to spending
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00:00:03,772 --> 00:00:07,640
the summer with you in Portland,
however I recently became
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00:00:07,642 --> 00:00:11,211
very ill and I have to seek
refuge at the Berndale Healing and
4
00:00:11,213 --> 00:00:15,315
Retreat Center, I entrust you
with the house, the keys are
5
00:00:15,317 --> 00:00:19,285
under the mat, feel free to take
any room of your choosing.
6
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:22,455
Help yourself to anything in the
kitchen and there is cable TV
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00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:29,229
in the bedroom upstairs, have
fun this summer, love Aunt Jane.
8
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:36,502
[Radio playing]
9
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,240
Kim: Hello?
10
00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:47,680
[Clock ticking]
11
00:00:47,682 --> 00:00:50,479
- Sitting kills...
- Who's there?
12
00:00:50,514 --> 00:00:51,818
Humans weren't designed to sit.
13
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:52,986
What?
14
00:00:52,988 --> 00:00:54,520
It takes years off your life...
15
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:55,788
We read it in the New York Times.
16
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,257
Ah!
17
00:00:57,259 --> 00:01:00,493
Standing is bad for you too.
18
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,694
We heard it...
19
00:01:01,696 --> 00:01:04,264
- On NPR.
- Ah!
20
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:14,741
[Barking]
21
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:25,685
***
22
00:01:25,687 --> 00:01:27,520
Stretching.
23
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,455
Who's there?
24
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,990
Stretching is over rated, they
did a recent study, I read
25
00:01:30,992 --> 00:01:32,725
it in the New York Times.
26
00:01:32,727 --> 00:01:34,294
I read an article you are
supposed to exercise first
27
00:01:34,296 --> 00:01:35,795
thing in the morning.
28
00:01:35,797 --> 00:01:39,032
No no, that's because it's not
effective, you need to do it
29
00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,533
at night.
30
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,934
You should read up on it.
31
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,037
It's a myth that drinking
water when you exercise is
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00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:45,405
good for you.
33
00:01:45,407 --> 00:01:47,006
You can drown in electrolytes.
34
00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:50,543
Atlantic Monthly,
June 12th, 2011
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00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:53,012
No, no, the electrolytes
might be good for you.
36
00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:55,315
Too many electrolytes and your
body can literally...
37
00:01:55,317 --> 00:01:56,649
You can never have enough
electrolytes...
38
00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:57,950
- Yes you can...
- You can't.
39
00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:01,521
- [Phone rings]
- Answer the phone.
40
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:04,357
Answer the phone.
You can't drown in electrolytes.
41
00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:07,393
Absolutely you can.
42
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,833
- Hello?
- 7-3-2-K-6.
43
00:02:13,835 --> 00:02:15,702
Aunt Jane?
Is that you?
44
00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:17,904
7-3-2-K-6.
45
00:02:17,906 --> 00:02:19,872
- Aunt Jane?
- [Choking]
46
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:22,342
Are you ok?
47
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,443
[Dark music]
48
00:02:30,444 --> 00:02:37,591
_
49
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,604
Sleep kills.
50
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,039
So does lack of sleep.
51
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:54,440
Ah!
52
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,576
Don't confuse me!
53
00:02:56,578 --> 00:02:57,944
Light bulbs mess up your eyes.
54
00:02:57,946 --> 00:02:59,479
Stop it!
55
00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:00,947
The sound is bad for your teeth.
56
00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:04,083
What?
57
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,687
Wow, that was too bad.
58
00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:10,490
She had a good life.
59
00:03:10,492 --> 00:03:12,392
- Oh hey.
- Hey.
60
00:03:12,394 --> 00:03:13,860
How are you doing?
61
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,428
Can I try it out now
because I'm a ghost now too?
62
00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:17,497
- Yeah, yeah.
- Sure go ahead.
63
00:03:17,499 --> 00:03:21,768
Alright um, drinking too much
fruit juice can lead to diabetes.
64
00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:26,572
You want a reference, I
read it, I just read, or
65
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,474
- Oh.
- But kind of a vague source.
66
00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,176
Ok, I feel like I can do this.
67
00:03:30,178 --> 00:03:32,979
- Yeah.
- Um, I'm going to go inside.
68
00:03:32,981 --> 00:03:34,414
- You cold?
- Freezing.
69
00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:36,549
- Ok.
- Probably go through the wall.
70
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,717
It was nice to meet you.
71
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:38,885
You too.
72
00:03:40,097 --> 00:03:42,101
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
73
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,624
[Glasses clink] - Cheers.
- Congratulations.
74
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,495
Oh wait, no no no no.
75
00:04:22,497 --> 00:04:23,963
- I got it.
- This dinner is for you.
76
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,698
Come on.
77
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,700
Claire we're celebrating your
raise and your promotion
78
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,669
with head of business
affairs, what is it?
79
00:04:29,671 --> 00:04:30,837
Yeah, head of business affairs.
80
00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:32,004
How much was it?
81
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,940
It's $72.
82
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,776
Shut it, shut it.
83
00:04:36,778 --> 00:04:38,611
Can we not do this right now?
84
00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:44,083
This, I'm, I want to pay my half
of it. Dinner, I'm adding $35
85
00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:47,854
to this. Look I got it all here
for the last four years.
86
00:04:47,856 --> 00:04:52,158
That scarf, that sleeping bag,
the pinata, a dollar for that.
87
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,827
Italian plays we
went to, the cruise.
88
00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,696
This has never been
an issue for me.
89
00:04:56,698 --> 00:04:59,966
Huh, what's this? Oh that's that
beautiful necklace you bought
90
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:04,136
you, for your birthday.
That is on me.
91
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,038
I trust that you are going to
get things together.
92
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,773
I got a promotion, let me pay
for this.
93
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,910
No, I'm your guy, I want to
treat you. Like I'm supposed
94
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:12,712
to take you to dinner and I
don't want to here about it.
95
00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:13,913
This is embarrassing me.
96
00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:16,649
Stove? What the hell is stove?
97
00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:18,718
- It's our stove
- $800.
98
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,621
I don't owe you the
whole 800 though?
99
00:05:21,623 --> 00:05:24,023
You don't owe me any of it, I
wanted a nice stove.
100
00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:30,029
I'll do 400 of that. But I owe
you now total $12,000
101
00:05:30,031 --> 00:05:34,033
and 27 cents, I'm paying.
102
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:40,840
Baby, I have so much faith in
you, I want to feel like we
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00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:48,214
share things and we're equal, I
want to ask you, Douglas Daniel
104
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:53,119
Stalder, will you open a
joint-checking account with me?
105
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,024
Joining our finances?
106
00:05:58,026 --> 00:06:01,627
Yeah, that's what I want more
than anything.
107
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,963
Will you say yes?
108
00:06:03,965 --> 00:06:05,131
Yes.
109
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:07,066
I'm so happy right now.
110
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:09,201
I am too, you want to put our
bank accounts together.
111
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,570
Yeah.
112
00:06:10,572 --> 00:06:11,737
Just me and you.
113
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:14,040
Sweetie, it's ok,
it's going to be so good.
114
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,842
Our bank accounts are going to
be together, we're joining
115
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,979
finances. Our accounts
are going to be the same.
116
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,881
You know what this is done.
117
00:06:21,883 --> 00:06:23,749
I'm going to have to
add Kleenex to this.
118
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:27,920
[Music]
119
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,025
Alright, downtown parking should
not be a problem for me because
120
00:06:33,027 --> 00:06:34,293
I practically grew up downtown.
121
00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:36,195
We both did.
122
00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:38,063
You know something, I've never
paid full price for a parking
123
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:41,333
spot. I can actually feel the
street and I know where not to
124
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,535
park, where to park, I'm just
not one of those people who just
125
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,472
goes into a lot and pays some
valet guy, I mean I just...
126
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,140
[Gun cocks]
[Laser]
127
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:50,009
Ah, there's one.
128
00:06:50,011 --> 00:06:52,044
Hydrant, damn it.
129
00:06:52,046 --> 00:06:53,445
Employee parking, visitor
parking.
130
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,947
Is that a meter?
131
00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:56,949
That's bike parking.
That's for church only.
132
00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:58,617
That's religious discrimination.
133
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,453
[Indistinct dialog]
134
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,922
What!
135
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:07,092
- 55, oh.
- No it is, it adds up to $55.
136
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,129
Come on.
137
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:11,463
No thanks.
138
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,965
Sorry buddy.
139
00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:14,633
Huh, yes, a spot, there's a
spot.
140
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,402
Oh it's a 15 minute limit.
141
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:18,270
Think I can get all our downtown
stuff done in time.
142
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,471
Ok, 15 minutes, let's go.
143
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,640
Hurry we only have 15 minutes.
144
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,442
Art Museum, that's great.
145
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,344
- Landscape.
- Very rich colors, green, blue
146
00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:26,645
- white.
- Juxtaposition, pre and post
147
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,013
industrialization.
148
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,181
I understand it,
do you understand?
149
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:30,449
I totally do.
150
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,684
- Great
- Got it, see it, ah huh, get it.
151
00:07:31,686 --> 00:07:33,385
We still have 10 more minutes.
152
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,620
We have time to see my cousin's
baby,
153
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,422
- Let's do it!
- Let's go!
154
00:07:36,424 --> 00:07:37,957
Hi, oh, congratulations on your
baby, oh, look how cute...
155
00:07:37,959 --> 00:07:39,291
Oh, she's very cute.
156
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,626
- She looks just like you.
- She have your eyes.
157
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:43,162
- [Chuckles]
- Nice baby.
158
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,397
You know what we have
three more minutes.
159
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:47,967
Oh my God the molecular
gastronomy restaurant let's go.
160
00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:49,335
Waiter.
161
00:07:49,337 --> 00:07:51,003
- What is that ice cream?
- I think it's foam.
162
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:52,171
Tastes like tacos.
163
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:53,372
I'm never going to think of
food the same way again.
164
00:07:53,374 --> 00:07:55,040
We should have a
molecular Thanksgiving.
165
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,575
The turkey will look
like an ice cream Sunday.
166
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,043
It will take up so
much room on the table.
167
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,178
We're like in a
science fiction movie.
168
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,513
- I will wear silver.
- I will wear clear.
169
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,681
- Let's go.
- Thank you.
170
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,683
Ah that was delicious.
171
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,051
[Beep]
Two more minutes!
172
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,252
Oh Glen is in the hospital.
173
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,254
Oh wow Glen how are you feeling?
174
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,090
- Glen I'm so sorry
- How's the food here?
175
00:08:11,092 --> 00:08:13,092
Not that great, get better. Ok.
176
00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,127
- Woo!
- You know what, we have
177
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:17,296
45 more seconds.
178
00:08:17,298 --> 00:08:20,132
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
179
00:08:20,134 --> 00:08:25,304
[Car squeaking]
180
00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:30,309
[Beep]
They made it.
181
00:08:31,683 --> 00:08:33,310
Hey, welcome to
Portland Pet Haven.
182
00:08:33,324 --> 00:08:34,487
- I'm Jamie.
- I'm Trish.
183
00:08:34,507 --> 00:08:36,119
We got a lot of dogs
for you to adopt.
184
00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:38,011
- Hmm... This is Rascal.
- Adopt Rascal.
185
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,018
He is an award-winning
Affenpinscher.
186
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,799
Hey, I was adopted.
Look at me.
187
00:08:41,818 --> 00:08:43,771
- Who adopted you?
- Mr. and Mrs. Thompkins.
188
00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:46,370
Did they ever allow you
to call them Mom and Dad?
189
00:08:46,416 --> 00:08:47,968
[dog barks]
No, they made it clear that, like,
190
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,544
"Look, we adopted you,
but that doesn't mean
191
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,824
"you can't call us Mommy and Daddy.
We're Mr. and Mrs. Thompkins."
192
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,831
[dog barks]
Please-- I-- I--
193
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,880
No, you don't bark back at me.
194
00:08:56,563 --> 00:08:58,367
You don't bark back at me.
[dog barks]
195
00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:04,896
Well this is me.
196
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:06,898
Alright, well I had a really
great time.
197
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,066
Me too.
198
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,901
- Right.
- Bye.
199
00:09:09,903 --> 00:09:11,069
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
200
00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:12,437
Ok.
201
00:09:14,873 --> 00:09:16,340
Can I help you?
202
00:09:16,342 --> 00:09:18,776
I'm a date fact checker. I'm
here to corroborate some
203
00:09:18,778 --> 00:09:21,412
of the evidence you presented at
the dinner meeting.
204
00:09:21,414 --> 00:09:25,049
Right around the appetizers you
guys started talking about the
205
00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:27,351
indie hit Juno.
206
00:09:27,353 --> 00:09:28,720
Yeah.
207
00:09:28,722 --> 00:09:29,887
She said she hated it.
208
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:31,222
Yeah, that's right
I remember that.
209
00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:34,025
And you said "Yeah, that movie is
insufferable pap".
210
00:09:34,027 --> 00:09:38,096
What I have here is some MySpace
blogs sent out in 2007, you said
211
00:09:38,098 --> 00:09:40,364
you ordered a hamburger phone
right away.
212
00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:41,899
I remember at the time when it
came out I enjoyed it.
213
00:09:41,901 --> 00:09:43,501
So which is it?
214
00:09:43,503 --> 00:09:46,137
I loved the movie and then
tonight as we were talking.
215
00:09:46,139 --> 00:09:48,072
Maybe she had a point in the
reason that she didn't, how
216
00:09:48,074 --> 00:09:49,807
about her was she being honest?
217
00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:52,510
She is not on deposition here.
218
00:09:52,512 --> 00:09:56,981
You said that your favorite show
is Breaking Bad when in reality
219
00:09:56,983 --> 00:09:59,784
you've never seen an episode and
you are still catching up on
220
00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:01,753
True Blood.
221
00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:02,920
And?
222
00:10:02,922 --> 00:10:04,322
Do you know Breaking Bad?
223
00:10:04,324 --> 00:10:08,259
What it represents in television
is pretty cool.
224
00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:12,130
Alright, great. Um you told
her...
225
00:10:12,132 --> 00:10:14,098
Does she not want to date me?
226
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,299
She likes you...
227
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,034
Then what's the problem?
228
00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:22,807
You know how women are right?
It's like "Oh don't lie to me".
229
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:24,408
[Dial tone]
230
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:25,877
- Ms. Armisen?
Ms. Armisen: - Yes
231
00:10:25,879 --> 00:10:27,411
Why are you calling my mom?
232
00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:31,849
Around the second course Fred
claimed that he had a pretty
233
00:10:31,851 --> 00:10:35,353
messed up childhood, is that
accurate?
234
00:10:35,355 --> 00:10:39,323
I've never heard that before.
Fred is that true?
235
00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:41,125
They didn't support my music.
236
00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:43,528
They bought you a drum kit, I
have the receipt right here.
237
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,363
I love you Freddy.
238
00:10:45,365 --> 00:10:47,131
Can I say one thing?
239
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:49,934
About my date because I think
she's a very special person.
240
00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:51,469
I think she's got a great sense
of humor and I think she is
241
00:10:51,471 --> 00:10:53,237
very funny.
242
00:10:53,239 --> 00:10:57,809
Ok, that was not a question or
anything, I don't know why you
243
00:10:57,811 --> 00:11:00,311
said that. I'm actually going to
stop. Rewind.
244
00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:02,113
You can't do that.
245
00:11:02,115 --> 00:11:04,882
Record over that. Please do not
reference that anymore because
246
00:11:04,884 --> 00:11:06,417
it's already gone.
247
00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:10,054
During desert the band TV on the
radio came on and you stated
248
00:11:10,056 --> 00:11:11,222
that you know those guys.
249
00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:12,990
Yeah, TV on the radio.
250
00:11:12,992 --> 00:11:18,062
Tunde.
[Music]
251
00:11:18,064 --> 00:11:20,298
Hey!
252
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,532
Tunde: Hi nice to meet you.
253
00:11:21,534 --> 00:11:26,037
No, not meet you I,
we've... Woops.
254
00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:27,238
Would you say you're friends
with this man?
255
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:28,906
No.
256
00:11:28,908 --> 00:11:30,575
Remember we took all of those
pictures together.
257
00:11:30,577 --> 00:11:33,277
Thank you Tunde that's enough.
Can you go wait in the car, please.
258
00:11:33,279 --> 00:11:35,279
[Music]
259
00:11:35,281 --> 00:11:39,250
He's the coolest, man. He's an
awesome dude. He is just one of
260
00:11:39,252 --> 00:11:42,553
those guys, you know you're like
"Oh if I want to do this I'll
261
00:11:42,555 --> 00:11:43,988
go with Tunde".
262
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,556
Great.
263
00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:48,893
Alright, well, you look over the
score just above a sex grifter
264
00:11:48,895 --> 00:11:51,028
but not dangerous.
265
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,865
Do I ask you for another date,
how does this work?
266
00:11:53,867 --> 00:11:57,501
Weirdly you do ask me and I'll
convey the message to her.
267
00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:59,103
- Thank you.
- Oh no problem.
268
00:11:59,105 --> 00:12:00,371
I just love spicy food.
269
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:01,539
I love spicy food.
270
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,207
You do?
271
00:12:03,209 --> 00:12:05,142
I mean actually I don't love
spicy food because it burns
272
00:12:05,144 --> 00:12:06,444
my tongue I prefer mild.
273
00:12:06,446 --> 00:12:07,979
Oh, ok.
274
00:12:07,981 --> 00:12:10,948
Just forget it. I'm really sorry
I can't do this.
275
00:12:10,950 --> 00:12:14,151
I, you know I just... I want
someone who accepts me for
276
00:12:14,153 --> 00:12:17,388
the kind of, like, fake at first
a little bit, but then gets
277
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,523
gradually more and more honest
as the relationship goes on.
278
00:12:19,525 --> 00:12:21,425
It's the kind of guy that I am.
279
00:12:21,427 --> 00:12:25,329
Thank you ma'am,
that actually checks out.
280
00:12:25,331 --> 00:12:29,200
[Music]
281
00:12:31,236 --> 00:12:34,972
Oh ok, so Claire, it looks
like you have about $18,000
282
00:12:34,974 --> 00:12:38,976
in savings. Plus you're a
homeowner. Which is great.
283
00:12:38,978 --> 00:12:44,115
Doug you have about $10,000 in
debt.
284
00:12:44,117 --> 00:12:47,652
And it looks like $600 in
unpaid parking tickets.
285
00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:49,287
Yeah, yeah.
286
00:12:49,289 --> 00:12:51,022
Let's get on that.
That's been something...
287
00:12:51,024 --> 00:12:53,424
We have to. Yeah, we're going to
work on that. So sorry.
288
00:12:53,426 --> 00:12:54,625
Please tell them I'm sorry. Ok,
send them my apologies.
289
00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:56,527
I don't know them but...
290
00:12:56,529 --> 00:12:59,430
Let them know that I've thought
about it. And I will certainly
291
00:12:59,432 --> 00:13:01,933
get it to them as soon as I get
it. I appreciate them.
292
00:13:01,935 --> 00:13:04,502
As someone who works at a bank.
I would tell you.
293
00:13:04,504 --> 00:13:09,573
Um, I 100% advise against you
guys joining accounts.
294
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:13,277
Because what will most
likely happen is it will
295
00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:17,548
run your credit into the
ground. But, my job is about
296
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:20,184
making you guys happy. If you
guys want to open a joint
297
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:23,287
checking account. By all means.
Let's do it.
298
00:13:23,289 --> 00:13:25,423
What was she saying to you?
299
00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:30,094
She says she supports it.
With very strong reservations.
300
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:32,496
Actually I don't support it.
But I'll do it.
301
00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:35,967
Ok, I know what it looks like
from a financial perspective.
302
00:13:35,969 --> 00:13:38,436
You have this huge disparity.
Where I'm the bread winner and
303
00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,038
I'm making money.
And this guy isn't.
304
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,473
This is something that's going
to help us. And it's going
305
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:44,208
to help our relationship.
306
00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:46,377
And I can't imagine that
you're in a relationship.
307
00:13:46,379 --> 00:13:49,146
But, if you were you'd
understand that they're not
308
00:13:49,148 --> 00:13:52,516
just about finances. Cuz we're
actually in a very equal and
309
00:13:52,518 --> 00:13:55,619
loving relationship and Doug
brings a lot to the table.
310
00:13:55,621 --> 00:13:58,122
I set-up the whole entertainment
system, ok?
311
00:13:58,124 --> 00:14:02,193
These are wireless speakers not
cables and you know, I would say
312
00:14:02,195 --> 00:14:03,761
wireless. Like I got the speaker
in the bedroom.
313
00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:06,430
Yeah, and depending on what you
press you can be listening to
314
00:14:06,432 --> 00:14:08,232
music in the kitchen or you can
be listening to music in the
315
00:14:08,234 --> 00:14:12,136
- bedroom.
- You listen to different music
316
00:14:12,138 --> 00:14:14,005
- in two different rooms?
- No.
317
00:14:14,007 --> 00:14:16,574
Whatever it looks like on
paper. Just know for us that's
318
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:21,545
- not how it feels.
- Ok. You are now the proud owners
319
00:14:21,547 --> 00:14:23,180
of a joint banking account.
320
00:14:23,182 --> 00:14:24,448
Oh, wow, wonderful. Oh wait,
this is your card.
321
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:25,649
Oh, this is yours.
322
00:14:25,651 --> 00:14:27,418
It's like we're exchanging
rings.
323
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:30,521
- This is sweet. - Yeah, are you married?
- I wanna try this.
324
00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:35,026
- I'm not married.
- Are you single?
325
00:14:35,028 --> 00:14:37,728
- Yes. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
326
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:40,398
I'm so psyched. Now don't, I'm
barely going to use this.
327
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,500
This is like.
328
00:14:45,804 --> 00:14:48,372
Oh my God Doug, what the hell?
329
00:14:48,374 --> 00:14:51,575
Haha, it's a hot tub!
[Music]
330
00:14:51,577 --> 00:14:53,244
We own this.
331
00:14:55,446 --> 00:14:57,512
When I
get back this hot tub is gone.
332
00:14:57,514 --> 00:14:58,847
I can't hear you because of the
bubbles.
333
00:14:58,849 --> 00:15:01,674
- I am so mad at you.
- Why are you mad at me?
334
00:15:02,864 --> 00:15:08,068
[Birds chirping]
335
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:11,171
[Upbeat music]
336
00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:13,874
Friends are free for the making.
337
00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:15,876
That's so sweet.
338
00:15:15,878 --> 00:15:18,409
[Upbeat music] _
339
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:25,953
- That just made my day.
- Yeah.
340
00:15:25,955 --> 00:15:27,788
- Smiling is contagious.
- That's new one.
341
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:32,560
- It's true, there he is.
- It is.
342
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,729
- Oh where?
- Right there.
343
00:15:34,731 --> 00:15:36,831
Oh I see, yeah, with the mustache.
344
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:38,632
I like your messages.
345
00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,601
I like your mustache.
346
00:15:40,603 --> 00:15:41,769
You should introduce yourself.
347
00:15:41,771 --> 00:15:42,937
No.
348
00:15:42,939 --> 00:15:44,138
Oh come on.
349
00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:45,706
Those are great signs.
350
00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:47,641
Yeah, he must be a
really nice guy.
351
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:50,177
[Upbeat music]
352
00:15:52,261 --> 00:15:54,304
_
353
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,943
_
354
00:16:09,097 --> 00:16:11,966
Hello?
355
00:16:13,802 --> 00:16:16,070
Hello?
356
00:16:16,072 --> 00:16:20,608
- Hi.
- Hi.
357
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:23,844
Are the guy that's
writing these signs?
358
00:16:23,846 --> 00:16:25,846
Yeah.
359
00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:27,748
Yeah, it's really
meant a lot to me.
360
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,150
Huh?
361
00:16:29,152 --> 00:16:31,685
It's cheered me up and giving me
a sense of purpose.
362
00:16:31,687 --> 00:16:34,422
They send a fax everyday and I
have to write down what they
363
00:16:34,424 --> 00:16:36,857
wrote here and I have
to put it on the board.
364
00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:38,592
What is it for?
365
00:16:38,594 --> 00:16:40,161
It's a marketing company, I
don't know, they told
366
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:41,862
me to do it.
367
00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:43,464
Which company is it?
368
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:47,501
I don't know. Oh
they have a card.
369
00:16:47,503 --> 00:16:48,669
It's a free card
to you can take it.
370
00:16:48,671 --> 00:16:49,837
Thank you.
371
00:16:49,839 --> 00:16:51,505
They're downtown.
372
00:16:51,507 --> 00:16:55,576
Ok, well I guess I'll head down
there and found out who is
373
00:16:55,578 --> 00:16:58,879
actually generating the sayings.
374
00:16:58,881 --> 00:17:01,582
Excuse me, hi I was wondering
if you knew who was doing the
375
00:17:01,584 --> 00:17:04,518
marketing campaign with the
chalk board in my neighborhood.
376
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,153
Oh, yeah, that's Adam's account.
I can get him for you.
377
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,888
No that account bounced around a
little, I think it was Steve.
378
00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:09,590
He's upstairs.
379
00:17:09,592 --> 00:17:11,892
Well technically I did
approve them, but why did
380
00:17:11,894 --> 00:17:13,561
you have a complaint?
381
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:15,696
No it's the opposite of a
complaint, who is ever writing
382
00:17:15,698 --> 00:17:18,699
this, it's like he's writing
directly to me, like he's
383
00:17:18,701 --> 00:17:21,669
touching my soul, it's perfect
for my life right now.
384
00:17:21,671 --> 00:17:25,573
Ok, how about you
head down the stairs...
385
00:17:25,575 --> 00:17:27,007
Hello Sandra
386
00:17:27,009 --> 00:17:29,577
Wait who said that?
387
00:17:29,579 --> 00:17:31,545
Are you talking to me?
388
00:17:31,547 --> 00:17:33,147
Yes it's me.
389
00:17:33,149 --> 00:17:36,484
You? You are the one that's been
writing all the messages?
390
00:17:36,486 --> 00:17:39,520
It's too hard to explain, it's
kind of a version of product
391
00:17:39,522 --> 00:17:42,723
placement, I gather it's
been working, sorry if
392
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:44,258
it was misleading.
393
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,895
That's ok I mean the messages
were so specific it just felt
394
00:17:47,897 --> 00:17:51,765
so attuned to who I am and what
I need and what all my desires
395
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,267
are, so...
396
00:17:53,269 --> 00:17:56,103
Sandra I've been tracking all of
your online shopping.
397
00:17:56,105 --> 00:17:57,805
Are you talking about
Kermit the bag?
398
00:17:57,807 --> 00:18:00,674
Yes, I am referring to
Kermit the bag.
399
00:18:00,676 --> 00:18:03,010
You are the only one that's ever
noticed it before.
400
00:18:03,012 --> 00:18:05,012
You are a great person.
401
00:18:05,014 --> 00:18:08,883
I finally felt like I found the
right guy, for once imagined
402
00:18:08,885 --> 00:18:10,184
my life not alone.
403
00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:16,790
Sandra, I am unable to love.
404
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:21,128
Well I feel enough
for both of us.
405
00:18:21,130 --> 00:18:26,066
Is it ok if I just give you a
quick kiss goodbye?
406
00:18:26,068 --> 00:18:28,202
Yes.
407
00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:32,306
[Music]
408
00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:34,241
I love you.
409
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,317
- Do you understand it?
- No.
410
00:18:43,319 --> 00:18:45,653
Me neither, I don't know
why they are doing it, they were
411
00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:50,190
nice before but now it's just,
that's just coo coo.
412
00:18:50,192 --> 00:18:54,061
- I don't like it.
- Yes!
413
00:18:54,063 --> 00:18:56,730
The other one were
pretty uplifting.
414
00:18:56,732 --> 00:18:58,032
[Music]
415
00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:00,634
I'm the luckiest
person alive, yes!
416
00:19:00,636 --> 00:19:03,938
Oh my God.
Shut up you crazy bitch!
417
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:16,852
So I understand you
want to return a hot tub.
418
00:19:16,854 --> 00:19:19,021
No that is not the case at
all, I'm very happy with it.
419
00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:21,557
That was me, thanks
you coming, I called...
420
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:23,459
First of all welcome
back from work.
421
00:19:23,461 --> 00:19:25,461
Well do you have a receipt?
422
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:26,862
Do you have the receipt Doug?
423
00:19:26,864 --> 00:19:28,164
Yes.
424
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,331
On you?
425
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:31,167
Yeah, haha.
426
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:34,303
Ok, anyway, we need to
return this hot tub.
427
00:19:34,305 --> 00:19:36,939
Sorry no receipt, no return.
428
00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:38,841
Come on this is like an
investment, you know we bought
429
00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:40,476
it so that we can
have it for us.
430
00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:43,212
We didn't buy it, you bought it
and I have not used it.
431
00:19:43,214 --> 00:19:45,915
Nor do I want to, nor do I think
it's a practical purchase.
432
00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,117
You want to return the tub for
financial reasons?
433
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,919
Ah, yes.
434
00:19:49,921 --> 00:19:51,854
That's what she wants to do. But
here is the deal... we have a
435
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:54,824
joint account, ok? I'm not going
to say who is in charge of
436
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:57,159
the account or who is bringing
in most of the money, it's
437
00:19:57,161 --> 00:20:00,062
goes like this. At the moment I
thought it would be a good
438
00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:02,331
investment for us to have a hot
tub because it a sort of
439
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:05,201
relaxing investment. Am I
correct about this?
440
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:10,840
Oh he's right, recent studies
have shown that ancient studies
441
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:14,877
have been confirmed that hot
tubs can significantly
442
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:17,313
increase your income.
443
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:19,148
Wait I'm sorry.
444
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,549
It can increase
your income because...
445
00:20:20,551 --> 00:20:23,219
Recent studies have shown that
ancient studies?
446
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:27,990
You see the actual hot tub
movement began ancient centuries
447
00:20:27,992 --> 00:20:31,327
ago amongst the Japanese
merchants who bathed in the
448
00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:36,198
Onsen, it will improve your
financial situation.
449
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,435
It's like an investment, you
know all the really rich
450
00:20:39,437 --> 00:20:42,238
societies like the Greeks, the
Ancient Greeks used to have
451
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,075
hot tubs and spas and the Romans
and they were like the biggest
452
00:20:46,077 --> 00:20:47,276
thinkers in history.
453
00:20:47,278 --> 00:20:48,611
They were known for hot tubs?
454
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:50,512
They were known for bathing.
455
00:20:50,514 --> 00:20:53,082
Hm, I didn't know that and I
don't think you know that either.
456
00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:55,150
I do know it, from
school, also from you know
457
00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:57,319
drawings and etchings.
458
00:20:57,321 --> 00:21:02,358
Stick your finger in, just take
a dip, just dip the tip.
459
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,527
[Music]
460
00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:09,231
I think see found the sweet
spot, so what I want to do is
461
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:14,970
I want to move you up to the
super regal model of hot tubs.
462
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:16,171
How much more is it?
463
00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:20,409
Well it's about $4,000 more.
464
00:21:22,913 --> 00:21:24,613
It is very warm.
465
00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:27,283
Doug I love this. Thank you so
466
00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:30,019
much. I'm sorry I
doubted you hun.
467
00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:33,188
Well it's ok, I got myself a
little something too.
468
00:21:33,190 --> 00:21:35,157
You did?
What is it?
469
00:21:38,261 --> 00:21:41,196
Oh, Doug.
470
00:21:41,198 --> 00:21:44,300
[Music]
471
00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:45,534
Huh?
472
00:21:45,536 --> 00:21:47,002
God damn it Doug.
473
00:21:47,004 --> 00:21:48,570
Hey Clair.
474
00:21:50,941 --> 00:21:52,207
Right?
475
00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:58,080
[Music]
476
00:21:58,082 --> 00:21:59,415
By the way I loved that movie.
477
00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:01,150
That's great.
478
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:03,085
I saw it as this is what would
happen if a high school girl
479
00:22:03,087 --> 00:22:04,586
got pregnant.
480
00:22:04,588 --> 00:22:05,955
At the time there weren't a lot
of movies like that.
481
00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:07,589
No it's a good movie.
482
00:22:07,591 --> 00:22:09,158
Because you are sitting there
watching it and you're just
483
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,960
enjoying it, that's
all a movie has to do.
484
00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:14,063
Yea, I know, for me it was more
then that, I saw it as, oh Ellen
485
00:22:14,065 --> 00:22:17,967
Page, arrival of a star.
That's what I said.
486
00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:23,572
On this deposition he did lie
about not liking Juno.
487
00:22:23,574 --> 00:22:26,442
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
488
00:22:26,492 --> 00:22:31,042
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