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1
00:00:01,967 --> 00:00:03,308
You owe me ten dollars.
2
00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,296
- For what?
- "Baretta" prop gun, season one.
3
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,203
I was right, pay up.
4
00:00:07,328 --> 00:00:08,806
This doesn't prove anything.
5
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:10,851
They called him "Baretta"
because he was italian
6
00:00:10,976 --> 00:00:12,949
his name was Baretta
not 'cause he used a beretta.
7
00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:15,126
- Where did you get this?
- Souvenir.
8
00:00:15,251 --> 00:00:17,001
I had a line on the show.
9
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,400
"Looking's free.
10
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,286
Touchin'll cost ya."
11
00:00:22,274 --> 00:00:25,081
- You played a hooker on Baretta?
- I played an aspiring musician.
12
00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:27,237
Who says "touchin'll cost you? "
13
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:29,621
- Sounds like what hooker.
- She was a young musician
14
00:00:29,746 --> 00:00:31,410
who turning tricks to pay the bills
15
00:00:31,535 --> 00:00:33,725
because her abusive boyfriend
had taken her savings.
16
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,435
I thought you said it was a line?
17
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,872
That's the challenge, to create this
complex character with a single line.
18
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,107
Snap. What's with the gun?
19
00:00:42,381 --> 00:00:44,631
It's blake's prop gun from Baretta.
20
00:00:44,757 --> 00:00:47,028
Constance, what was
your character's name.
21
00:00:47,153 --> 00:00:49,215
- "Hooker."
- Hooker, well hooker...
22
00:00:49,494 --> 00:00:53,077
- So that's why he was called Baretta?
- No! He was just italian
23
00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:54,929
and no one holds a gun like that.
24
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,017
If her name's "hooker"
Constance, she was a hooker.
25
00:00:59,254 --> 00:01:01,936
- No it's, like I'm a waiter.
- You are a waiter.
26
00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:03,625
No, I'm an actor.
27
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,356
When's the last time you acted?
28
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:08,624
- And the last time you were a writer?
- Fuck you, I've written, three scripts,
29
00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:11,821
- I've written two novels...
- You didn't write two novels.
30
00:01:12,661 --> 00:01:16,131
I'm halfway through four novels,
so that's two novels.
31
00:01:16,256 --> 00:01:18,130
- You're a waiter.
- I am not!
32
00:01:18,255 --> 00:01:20,006
- Yeah, you are.
- I'm a waiter like
33
00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:22,165
Einstein was a patent clerk.
You asshole!
34
00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:24,040
Einstein wasn't in the army
35
00:01:24,165 --> 00:01:26,153
Come on, none of us are waiters.
36
00:01:26,278 --> 00:01:27,921
- Oh my god!
- Except for henry.
37
00:01:39,652 --> 00:01:41,267
- Gotcha.
- That was really funny.
38
00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:42,682
Look at you sad face,
39
00:01:42,807 --> 00:01:45,185
you look like you're on your way
to get your balls waxed.
40
00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,335
I wish.
41
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:48,085
Nope, this is the face of a man
42
00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:51,110
who has to wait three days
for his vicodin refill.
43
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:54,130
- You gotta bad back or something?
- I do...
44
00:01:55,665 --> 00:01:58,215
You'll never guess what happened.
But...
45
00:01:58,656 --> 00:02:00,223
the other night
46
00:02:00,372 --> 00:02:02,154
at work, a colleague...
47
00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:06,188
threw me down
on a couch and ravished me.
48
00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,787
- Weird.
- It was very surprising.
49
00:02:10,072 --> 00:02:11,372
I think maybe...
50
00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:15,533
- I need to apologize.
- You need to apolo...
51
00:02:15,658 --> 00:02:19,097
see this is new for me, cause usually
I'm the one apologizing after sex.
52
00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:21,067
Yeah, no, no, it's just...
53
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,014
I don't know, I needed like...
54
00:02:24,139 --> 00:02:28,143
a clean break I guess from the husband
and the divorce and all that so...
55
00:02:28,955 --> 00:02:32,110
I think maybe
I was perhaps a tiny bit irresponsible.
56
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,159
And I just wanted
to say something and you know.
57
00:02:35,284 --> 00:02:38,281
Apologize so you
don't feel used or whatever.
58
00:02:39,672 --> 00:02:40,922
Well, I do now.
59
00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,966
You do feel used now, okay.
60
00:02:48,322 --> 00:02:50,545
This mean you don't want
to read the sonnets I composed?
61
00:02:50,802 --> 00:02:52,252
- Sonnets?
- Yeah.
62
00:02:52,562 --> 00:02:54,620
It was that good for ya?
63
00:02:54,865 --> 00:02:57,576
Well... well the sex
was adequate, but the
64
00:02:58,515 --> 00:03:01,612
the connection
to another living soul in my...
65
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,580
abyss of loneliness
and despair that...
66
00:03:04,737 --> 00:03:06,698
that was profoundly moving.
67
00:03:07,728 --> 00:03:09,865
- Sex was adequate?
- No sorry,
68
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,340
it was fine, you were probably
distracted, or something.
69
00:03:13,848 --> 00:03:14,848
Right.
70
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,519
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
71
00:03:34,844 --> 00:03:37,889
You see this place? This is exactly
the kinda place I'm gonna have.
72
00:03:38,014 --> 00:03:40,022
This... this is a real porsche,
73
00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:42,283
we're definitely putting out
the tip jar tonight.
74
00:03:42,408 --> 00:03:43,838
What the hell?
75
00:03:44,165 --> 00:03:47,321
I left messages, khakis,
the host wants us to wear khakis,
76
00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:49,546
what the hell's wrong with guys?
77
00:03:50,152 --> 00:03:51,130
Mr. Corolla.
78
00:03:51,255 --> 00:03:54,933
Everyone I'd like you
to meet mr. Tony Corolla, our host.
79
00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:58,063
- I thought I said khakis.
- You did. I don't know what...
80
00:03:58,188 --> 00:04:01,481
okay, well, I'm presenting
a business venture tonight,
81
00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,701
So this'll be more
work than pleasure.
82
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,023
"More work than pleasure,"
that is our motto.
83
00:04:06,148 --> 00:04:08,998
Okay, I just want to go
over the ground rules.
84
00:04:09,143 --> 00:04:12,386
These'll be people from my club,
business associates
85
00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:14,032
wealthy investors,
86
00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:16,386
People like that.
87
00:04:16,562 --> 00:04:18,376
If you saw "caddyshack"
you know the type.
88
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:19,615
The elite.
89
00:04:20,473 --> 00:04:22,412
So be accommodating,
90
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,396
and please confine
yourselves to work areas.
91
00:04:25,521 --> 00:04:29,198
And I know reception's bad here,
but please don't use house phones.
92
00:04:29,323 --> 00:04:32,323
I won't worry that, Mr. Corolla.
I'm all over it.
93
00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:33,922
Except the pants.
94
00:04:34,047 --> 00:04:35,557
Nothing I could...
95
00:04:35,947 --> 00:04:38,097
So, one of you knows power point?
96
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:41,261
"Gumption and guts.
The rise of Tony Corolla,
97
00:04:41,451 --> 00:04:42,779
self-made man."
98
00:04:43,055 --> 00:04:46,943
"Land ho, savvy plus perseverance
makes vision a reality."
99
00:04:47,377 --> 00:04:49,580
Google me in ten years,
that's going to be me.
100
00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:51,924
The only way
I'm googling you in ten years,
101
00:04:52,049 --> 00:04:55,007
if you get very creative
in the way that you kill yourself.
102
00:04:55,132 --> 00:04:56,901
Well that's not gonna happen.
103
00:04:57,026 --> 00:04:58,828
Then I won't be googling you.
104
00:04:58,953 --> 00:05:00,260
Look at this place?
105
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:03,386
Henry, how do you think
our host pulls in per annum?
106
00:05:03,796 --> 00:05:07,135
- Best guess.
- I don't know, a 100 thousand dollars?
107
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,630
Come on stop pulling
my leg, seriously...
108
00:05:09,755 --> 00:05:11,474
Two hundred thousand dollars?
109
00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:12,812
Squared, maybe.
110
00:05:13,844 --> 00:05:15,346
Four billion?
111
00:05:17,446 --> 00:05:20,983
Hey Henry, you're aware Soup R' Crackers
is the fastest growing non-poultry,
112
00:05:21,108 --> 00:05:23,661
non-coffee, franchise.
In all of southern California, right?
113
00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,067
- You may have mentioned it...
- Well I have
114
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,578
ten g's pulling
four percent of b of a,
115
00:05:29,016 --> 00:05:32,656
I got a business plan and I got Alan Duk
in as partner for franchise fees.
116
00:05:32,781 --> 00:05:35,418
Okay so I'm get one, I'm go another,
I'm gonna get one, two
117
00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:39,617
boom, I'm gonna move slow,
but boom, boom, boom, until...
118
00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:42,363
Four billion dollars.
119
00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:45,839
I mean I think it's great that you guys
are seeing this, I really do.
120
00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:48,235
Because success
isn't being discovered.
121
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,960
No offense, all right?
122
00:05:50,678 --> 00:05:52,893
To succeed, you have to do
what Mr. Corolla does,
123
00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:55,146
you have to do it
through hard work and vision.
124
00:05:55,315 --> 00:05:57,899
I believe henry had vision
and he worked hard,
125
00:05:58,141 --> 00:06:00,091
and then he failed miserably.
126
00:06:02,264 --> 00:06:04,030
Exception proves the rule.
127
00:06:04,325 --> 00:06:06,657
So like, have you every
made out with two chicks?
128
00:06:08,849 --> 00:06:11,999
For the tenth time,
I'm not answering this question.
129
00:06:12,248 --> 00:06:14,290
- Think of one question.
- I was just wondering.
130
00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:15,845
Freeze!
131
00:06:15,970 --> 00:06:17,570
What the fuck, Roman?!
132
00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:19,064
It's a fake gun.
133
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,970
- Don't do it.
- You fat Fuck
134
00:06:22,095 --> 00:06:24,175
- Don't do it not today.
- It's a fake.
135
00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:25,976
Fuckin' gun give me a break.
136
00:06:26,101 --> 00:06:27,931
Ron, it's Baretta's prop gun.
137
00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:30,131
From the show,
it's why he's called Baretta.
138
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:32,225
No, he's just italian that's...
139
00:06:32,484 --> 00:06:35,234
- Everyone okay in here?
- Mr. Corolla.
140
00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:38,346
It's a small misunderstanding.
141
00:06:38,903 --> 00:06:41,266
- What the hell?
- A prop gun.
142
00:06:42,699 --> 00:06:43,949
Theater people.
143
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:46,020
So... okay
144
00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:49,917
I'm putting this gun
in a bag here and it stays in here
145
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,274
and nobody touches it
for the rest of the evening.
146
00:06:52,399 --> 00:06:55,799
You know what they say
about a gun in the first act, Ron?
147
00:06:56,011 --> 00:06:57,953
First act of what?
148
00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:19,047
Here you are.
149
00:07:19,483 --> 00:07:20,619
And...
150
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:24,948
- Did a little surveying.
- Yep.
151
00:07:25,073 --> 00:07:27,206
Locked eyes with three thongs.
152
00:07:28,456 --> 00:07:30,721
Best thing about money,
has gotta be, trophy wives.
153
00:07:30,846 --> 00:07:34,694
You're 80, wife's
like 25 in a thong and shaved.
154
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,456
I can't wait.
I think that's what casey did wrong.
155
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,791
- She got married before she hit it big.
- Yeah her ex-husband,
156
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:42,545
barely ever shaved his pubic hair.
157
00:07:42,966 --> 00:07:44,669
Hi, welcome.
Can I get you anything?
158
00:07:44,794 --> 00:07:48,759
Hang this up on a wood hanger.
Make some sandwiches made for my driver,
159
00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:51,586
he'll take them in back.
Ham, I don't care.
160
00:07:51,711 --> 00:07:54,864
And I'll have a boxcar, okay?
161
00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:58,093
You'd be prettier
if you smiled, sweetheart.
162
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,147
What a dick.
163
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,334
Awesome speakers, right?
164
00:08:05,972 --> 00:08:07,938
- Von Schweikerts.
- Yeah, I know.
165
00:08:08,063 --> 00:08:09,530
Those things must kick ass.
166
00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:13,581
My dad said he'd get me
a pair if I made dean's list at tufts.
167
00:08:13,706 --> 00:08:15,356
Dude, hope you made it.
168
00:08:15,772 --> 00:08:16,773
Nope,
169
00:08:16,898 --> 00:08:19,290
but I guilted him into it
after he divorced my mom.
170
00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:21,261
- Nice.
- Dude!
171
00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:25,156
You were on GREEK, right?
172
00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:28,193
The Pi Sig who made
randy beer bong a sixer.
173
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,665
That's me.
174
00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:31,539
I said soybeans,
you gotta be kidding me.
175
00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:34,171
- Corn, corn is where it's at. Ron!
- Yes, Mr. Corolla?
176
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:37,596
This is Mrs. Bersten,
one of our potential investors...
177
00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:40,692
Well, let me assure you, that Tony
knows exactly what he's doing...
178
00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:42,519
Actually Ron, Jasper here had
179
00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:45,615
a bit of an accident in the foyer,
I need you take care of that?
180
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:48,790
I just came from the foyer,
I didn't see anything.
181
00:08:54,592 --> 00:08:57,292
I'll have one of my people
take care of it.
182
00:08:57,751 --> 00:08:58,809
Excellent.
183
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:04,260
Nothing.
184
00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:15,040
Hey, what'd Mr. Corolla
say about the phone?
185
00:09:15,165 --> 00:09:17,031
What is that on your shoe?
186
00:09:17,212 --> 00:09:19,433
There's a trail of dog shit
by the front door, handle it.
187
00:09:19,656 --> 00:09:23,056
- No, can't do that.
- I'm your boss and that's an order.
188
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,314
You're gonna have
to physically overpower me,
189
00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:27,149
if you want me to do that, so.
190
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:30,443
I gotta draw the line somewhere,
Ron, seriously, shit?
191
00:09:30,568 --> 00:09:32,279
I mean, come on, it's crazy.
192
00:09:32,448 --> 00:09:34,353
Okay how about this,
if you don't, you're fired.
193
00:09:34,478 --> 00:09:36,699
Okay if you fire me,
then I'm gonna call Alan Duk,
194
00:09:36,824 --> 00:09:40,413
and tell him you cleaned of
your shit shoe in the client's sink.
195
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,146
And used a company fork
to scrap off the rest of it.
196
00:09:43,271 --> 00:09:45,121
All right and I'll deny it.
197
00:09:54,084 --> 00:09:56,134
This dog shit knows who's boss.
198
00:09:57,182 --> 00:09:59,974
Yeah I figured I'd
either go m3 or clk, right?
199
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,956
M3, man, that's the way to go.
Mercedes is nice,
200
00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:06,564
but 88 you want those extra horses
when you rippin' through the canyons.
201
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:09,205
Martini, "very dry."
202
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,363
Damn,
203
00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:16,741
you must be one shitty bartender.
204
00:10:17,731 --> 00:10:18,823
Recession.
205
00:10:20,149 --> 00:10:21,764
It is, true.
206
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:33,090
- It's an awkward silence.
- It's pretty awkward, yeah.
207
00:10:35,605 --> 00:10:37,386
Did you mean what you said earlier?
208
00:10:38,914 --> 00:10:40,414
What about like a...
209
00:10:41,499 --> 00:10:43,271
connecting and souls?
210
00:10:43,848 --> 00:10:45,998
No, about the sex being adequate.
211
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,744
- I just...
- No, it's fine. I just...
212
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:57,913
I just need you to know
that I'm the pancake lady.
213
00:10:58,526 --> 00:10:59,765
The pancake lady?
214
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:01,964
The pancake lady,
she makes the best pancakes
215
00:11:02,089 --> 00:11:04,914
in all of the kingdom, but she'll only
makes one pancake for every person.
216
00:11:05,158 --> 00:11:06,999
- I've never heard this fable
- Serious...
217
00:11:07,281 --> 00:11:08,281
Okay so,
218
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:12,139
stranger rides in to town
and he say's hey can I...
219
00:11:12,264 --> 00:11:15,051
Can I get one of these pancakes
everybody's raving about?
220
00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:17,435
So she makes him one and he eats it.
221
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,510
He says, "that's good,
222
00:11:19,856 --> 00:11:23,456
a decent pancake not like
the best I've ever had or anything.
223
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,601
I don't know maybe
you were distracted."
224
00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:28,454
So she makes him another one
and then another one,
225
00:11:28,579 --> 00:11:30,990
and another, she makes him
like a whole bunch of pancakes
226
00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:34,565
and he's full and he says to her,
"listen I have to admit,
227
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:38,312
that actually was one epic pancake."
228
00:11:38,842 --> 00:11:40,342
So she cuts him off.
229
00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:43,380
See the thing is the first pancake
230
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,496
she made for him was epic.
231
00:11:45,847 --> 00:11:47,521
He was just messing with her mind.
232
00:11:47,646 --> 00:11:50,209
He was tricking her
into putting out, pancakes.
233
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:53,969
Which is hilarious I think because,
234
00:11:54,205 --> 00:11:56,728
really the pancake lady,
she was just tossing him
235
00:11:56,853 --> 00:11:59,552
that first one
as a sympathy pancake anyway so.
236
00:12:01,818 --> 00:12:03,931
Well, the pancake lady
sounds like a whore.
237
00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,315
Bourbon and coke.
238
00:12:11,525 --> 00:12:12,628
Ted?
239
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:15,458
Not ted.
240
00:12:15,926 --> 00:12:17,152
- Sorry.
- Okay.
241
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,477
Sorry, you...
242
00:12:19,351 --> 00:12:22,451
- you looked like someone.
- All look alike, right?
243
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,377
My mistake, sorry.
244
00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:26,922
Good luck out there.
245
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,817
Good evening, everyone.
246
00:12:29,942 --> 00:12:33,377
When we've talked, at the club,
or on the links, or over dinner,
247
00:12:33,575 --> 00:12:36,683
I've always said,
"my business is making money."
248
00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:38,788
It's the only thing I'm good at.
249
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:41,162
Those of you who've played golf
with me can vouch for that.
250
00:12:41,287 --> 00:12:43,929
- I'll vouch for that!
- Thanks Gerald.
251
00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:45,931
I haven't been
playing much golf lately.
252
00:12:46,237 --> 00:12:49,815
Like a lot of you, I've been trying
to figure out, in these tough times,
253
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:51,820
when everything's going down,
254
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,245
what's going up.
255
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,927
I found it,
256
00:12:55,052 --> 00:12:57,651
and I wanted
to you all the chance to join in.
257
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,319
Mr. Corolla,
I cleaned up the dog shit.
258
00:13:01,645 --> 00:13:04,525
This is a seaside village in baja.
259
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,402
It's barely even a town,
it's a gold mine.
260
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:11,394
And I need your help to buy it.
An associate of mine works for a company
261
00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:14,168
that builds some of the world's
most beautiful resorts.
262
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:17,136
- Take a look at 'em.
- I can totally get us in club milk.
263
00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:18,539
The bouncer's my boy.
264
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,021
I met some smokin' models
who were headed there later.
265
00:13:21,146 --> 00:13:23,344
- Not catalog, right?
- No, Dude? Runway.
266
00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,469
- Nice, high-end.
- What time you get off?
267
00:13:25,594 --> 00:13:27,508
You wanna hook up
when we're done makin' money?
268
00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,733
Midnight? Let's do it, blood up.
269
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:31,490
Midnight?
270
00:13:31,615 --> 00:13:33,867
Gonna do some nightclubin'
some after party action.
271
00:13:33,992 --> 00:13:35,734
Totally up for that, that'd be cool.
272
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:38,727
- Where we going? What club?
- Yeah, we haven't...
273
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:41,597
- not really sure yet.
- Working out the deets?
274
00:13:41,722 --> 00:13:45,074
I'm a great wingman, so if you're
looking to nail some babes.
275
00:13:45,756 --> 00:13:46,574
Sure.
276
00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:51,016
It's cool though.
277
00:13:52,943 --> 00:13:55,049
Gonna go sling some deuver
278
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:57,041
- Down low.
- Here.
279
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,816
- All right.
- Get it.
280
00:14:01,891 --> 00:14:03,228
Dude, is she for real?
281
00:14:03,353 --> 00:14:04,603
She used to be.
282
00:14:05,026 --> 00:14:06,136
Now, not so much.
283
00:14:06,774 --> 00:14:09,224
This village is
what he will recommend
284
00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:10,526
next week.
285
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,602
So with your help,
I'd like to buy the whole town.
286
00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:15,437
Let's look at some figures.
287
00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,801
We're supposed to confine
ourselves to our work areas.
288
00:14:21,926 --> 00:14:24,024
Yeah, I know that.
So what're you doing?
289
00:14:24,149 --> 00:14:26,467
I'm looking for a phone
that works so I can check messages.
290
00:14:26,592 --> 00:14:28,042
What are you doing?
291
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:31,933
Usually the wealthy
have a lot of prescription medications.
292
00:14:33,991 --> 00:14:36,291
By the way, you did mess up my back.
293
00:14:36,554 --> 00:14:38,053
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
294
00:14:39,751 --> 00:14:40,838
Not worth it.
295
00:14:42,058 --> 00:14:43,058
Kinda of.
296
00:14:48,545 --> 00:14:52,047
And you know
there are worse ways to pass time.
297
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,741
There are worse ways
to pass the time.
298
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,330
- I agree with that.
- Me too.
299
00:15:01,227 --> 00:15:03,477
I shit, I'm sorry, I almost forgot,
300
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:07,196
you're not the pancake lady.
301
00:15:10,859 --> 00:15:12,110
Where we go.
302
00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:18,063
What?
303
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:22,263
None of the phones work?
304
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,343
This is my promise to you.
305
00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:27,709
Double your investment in 120 days,
306
00:15:28,442 --> 00:15:29,887
even after I take my cut.
307
00:15:30,414 --> 00:15:32,464
Now, if you have any questions?
308
00:15:32,988 --> 00:15:35,038
Who do I make the check out to?
309
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:43,643
This is so gross.
310
00:15:44,256 --> 00:15:48,111
It's like people lining up
to screw over mexican families.
311
00:15:48,611 --> 00:15:50,199
You really can't trust whitey.
312
00:15:50,461 --> 00:15:51,921
Well, doubly true.
313
00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:55,162
I think our host
is fleecing these people.
314
00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:56,983
- Get outta here.
- I'm serious.
315
00:15:57,108 --> 00:15:59,458
- Who's fleecing who?
- Mr. Corolla.
316
00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:02,211
I think this whole thing
is a fuckin' scam.
317
00:16:02,631 --> 00:16:03,631
Come on.
318
00:16:04,401 --> 00:16:07,058
I do know that asian guy,
I had an acting classes with him.
319
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,760
His name's Ted Yang.
320
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,248
He pretended not to know me.
321
00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:12,435
And the phones are disconnected.
322
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,671
And the bathroom drawers are empty,
except for a used pill bottle
323
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,197
for like kidney meds
for Dawn Spangler,
324
00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:22,229
who the fuck is Dawn Spangler?
I don't think this is his house.
325
00:16:22,922 --> 00:16:24,733
This is all starting
to feel like bullshit.
326
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,877
Are you Sherlock Holmes?
327
00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:29,688
I'm a hardy boy.
328
00:16:29,813 --> 00:16:31,879
That's incredible, that's good.
329
00:16:32,637 --> 00:16:33,992
Okay, so what do we do?
330
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:38,234
Wire transfer's the easiest, so we just
provide routing and account numbers.
331
00:16:38,359 --> 00:16:39,498
Yeah, good, good.
332
00:16:41,748 --> 00:16:44,420
Sir, you know
what this deal might...
333
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:48,706
Next time, you make me a dry martini,
make me a dry martini, okay?
334
00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:53,191
Okay, and when you two
finish eye-fucking,
335
00:16:53,463 --> 00:16:54,613
give me a pen
336
00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:58,848
- Of course.
- Thank you.
337
00:17:00,338 --> 00:17:02,888
Best of luck
with your business venture.
338
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,152
Looks like a winner.
339
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,459
Feel free to tip.
340
00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:12,563
Mean, mean man.
341
00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:16,644
Are you trying to milk me
for information, old mcdonald.
342
00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:19,731
I'm not in the moooooooood.
343
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,643
- It's brilliant.
- Thank you it felt really good.
344
00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:24,924
It was fantastic.
345
00:17:25,049 --> 00:17:27,212
Did hear about Kellum's dad
has a production company?
346
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,035
And they're thinking
of doing a live-action old mcdonald,
347
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,922
for kids.
And he thinks I have a quality.
348
00:17:33,047 --> 00:17:35,116
We're kinda running through
the whole barnyard, here,
349
00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:37,341
trying to find the right animal.
350
00:17:37,549 --> 00:17:39,562
How'bout your pig?
You got a pig in the repertoire?
351
00:17:39,687 --> 00:17:43,691
- This little piggy's going to market.
- Find some of the physicality...
352
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:46,523
this little piggy's going to market.
353
00:17:46,739 --> 00:17:49,239
Okay do it again,
but think like a pig.
354
00:17:51,422 --> 00:17:54,055
- This little piggy's going to market.
- Incredible!
355
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:58,184
Yeah, actually Ron really wanted you
to do the veggie platter, now so...
356
00:17:58,608 --> 00:17:59,650
Stay right here.
357
00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:01,395
- I'm right here.
- Don't go anywhere.
358
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:02,714
- Hurry back.
- I will.
359
00:18:02,839 --> 00:18:04,739
You gotta a gift! All right.
360
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,769
Dude, this shit's hilarious.
361
00:18:09,841 --> 00:18:11,507
This piggy's comin' to market.
362
00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:15,991
- Gerald, appreciate you trust.
- That's for the opportunity.
363
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:17,166
Jay Lesley!
364
00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:20,957
I've put away some money
365
00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:23,925
and I was hoping
that maybe you'd consider
366
00:18:24,869 --> 00:18:26,313
letting me buy into the plan.
367
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:30,543
Oh Ron, I don't know,
these people are professional investors.
368
00:18:30,668 --> 00:18:32,656
I've run credit checks
on all of them.
369
00:18:32,781 --> 00:18:34,281
Mr. Corolla, please,
370
00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:39,914
it's taken me four years
of living in my parents garage,
371
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,340
saving tips,
372
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,589
quitting up weed, booze,
373
00:18:45,242 --> 00:18:46,415
almost everything.
374
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:50,490
I just I don't know if I have
another four years left in me. This...
375
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,354
This is my way out.
376
00:18:52,855 --> 00:18:54,132
I put away ten grand
377
00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:58,411
and to think, in four months,
I could open a Soup R' Crackers,
378
00:18:58,698 --> 00:19:01,053
the fastest growing non-coffee,
379
00:19:01,178 --> 00:19:04,101
non-poultry franchise
in all of Southern California.
380
00:19:05,616 --> 00:19:08,366
You have no idea
what that would mean to me.
381
00:19:08,804 --> 00:19:10,824
So, Tony, please.
382
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:15,991
I'd need wire info,
383
00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:19,057
- routing and account numbers.
- Right.
384
00:19:19,944 --> 00:19:21,544
Will you take a check?
385
00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:27,843
You can milk me if you like.
386
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:31,119
My tits are full.
387
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,266
Did Roman take the gun back?
388
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,741
- I don't know.
- That little son...
389
00:19:45,942 --> 00:19:47,342
He's on probation.
390
00:19:47,944 --> 00:19:50,794
- Here we go, here we go.
- What're you doing?
391
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:54,067
Casey, gotta spend money
to make money.
392
00:20:00,018 --> 00:20:01,068
Oh, my god.
393
00:20:02,503 --> 00:20:05,403
- So, Ron just got his checkbook.
- Oh, shit...
394
00:20:07,063 --> 00:20:09,291
I'll never forget this.
You're a true gentleman.
395
00:20:09,573 --> 00:20:11,555
- Well, I try to be, Ron.
- Ron! Don't.
396
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,390
Henry, I'm conducting business.
397
00:20:13,515 --> 00:20:15,803
It's a scam,
they're Mexicans, Henry.
398
00:20:15,928 --> 00:20:17,591
They're just happy to be alive.
399
00:20:18,419 --> 00:20:20,754
Jesus, no,
you're not gonna get any money back.
400
00:20:20,879 --> 00:20:24,306
That's what he's trying to tell you.
This whole thing is fake.
401
00:20:26,123 --> 00:20:29,982
- Mr. Corolla, could you please...
- Ask him, that's Ted Yang.
402
00:20:30,107 --> 00:20:33,501
I was in an acting class with him.
He's from Van Nuys.
403
00:20:33,681 --> 00:20:35,241
- California.
- That's right.
404
00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:38,562
Why don't you tell everybody here Ted,
what you're getting paid for this event?
405
00:20:38,687 --> 00:20:41,178
What you're getting paid scale,
what's the deal?
406
00:20:41,303 --> 00:20:43,453
- Speak up, Ted.
- Come on, Ted.
407
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:47,396
You're a dick, Pollard!
408
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:49,322
I'm a dick? Okay.
409
00:20:50,602 --> 00:20:53,098
- What the fuck? Mr. Corolla?
- What do you want Ron,
410
00:20:53,223 --> 00:20:55,712
you want you're money back?
Fine here, all right?
411
00:20:55,881 --> 00:20:58,131
There's your money take it,
it's yours.
412
00:20:59,229 --> 00:21:02,427
- I want my money back, too.
- Gerald, you know me. From the club.
413
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:04,304
Yeah. You're new to the club.
414
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:07,391
You want to pass on the investment
opportunity of a lifetime?
415
00:21:08,479 --> 00:21:11,511
A bartender runs his mouth
and you get scared?
416
00:21:12,369 --> 00:21:14,694
Not what I'd call guts, but fine.
417
00:21:15,352 --> 00:21:17,439
I'll hold off
on all the wire transfers
418
00:21:17,564 --> 00:21:20,564
until you've all had a chance
to look things over, okay?
419
00:21:20,689 --> 00:21:22,939
Thank you for coming, good evening.
420
00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:26,576
Gerald, when you come to your senses,
you know how to reach me.
421
00:21:27,497 --> 00:21:30,707
- This was my Soup R' Crackers.
- It's good that it's ripped up.
422
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:32,732
Wait... this isn't my check.
423
00:21:34,015 --> 00:21:36,086
- I want my check back.
- I ripped it up, Ron.
424
00:21:36,255 --> 00:21:40,165
- No, you're stealing from me.
- Nobody is stealing anything.
425
00:21:40,384 --> 00:21:42,931
Just hold on a second, Mr. Corolla,
if you don't mind?
426
00:21:43,056 --> 00:21:44,377
Actually, I do.
427
00:21:44,597 --> 00:21:46,932
Duane, Duane,
don't let him leave the room.
428
00:21:47,057 --> 00:21:49,182
- I'm gonna call the police.
- All right, okay.
429
00:21:52,931 --> 00:21:55,643
Everybody just shut-up
and back away.
430
00:21:57,969 --> 00:21:58,975
Back away.
431
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,854
I want my money back, you fake fuck.
432
00:22:04,838 --> 00:22:06,608
Back away. I mean it.
433
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,126
What are you gonna do?
434
00:22:09,599 --> 00:22:12,073
What are you gonna do,
you gonna shot me? I'll help you out.
435
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,448
I don't want you to waste a bullet.
436
00:22:17,005 --> 00:22:18,005
What?
437
00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:23,112
See, you can't,
because everything about you,
438
00:22:23,237 --> 00:22:25,869
right down to the gun,
is fake, all right.
439
00:22:25,994 --> 00:22:28,054
I want... We want our money back
440
00:22:28,426 --> 00:22:31,217
otherwise I'm gonna go
fuckin' medieval
441
00:22:31,342 --> 00:22:33,334
on your fucking ass, hole!
442
00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:36,159
Fake gun.
443
00:22:58,668 --> 00:22:59,718
I... You...
444
00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:03,166
You can't shoot me in front of all these
people, because it's like "witness,"
445
00:23:03,291 --> 00:23:05,951
where's there's all standing around
and they can't shoot the little boy,
446
00:23:06,076 --> 00:23:10,080
because you can't shoot all the people,
and I'm the little boy, so everybody...
447
00:23:11,831 --> 00:23:13,381
Go get him, rush him!
448
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,227
He's...
449
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:17,728
Rush this guy!
450
00:23:27,090 --> 00:23:28,390
You're an idiot.
451
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,260
Oh, my god.
452
00:23:43,698 --> 00:23:45,090
He fuckin' peed himself.
453
00:23:46,869 --> 00:23:48,669
In case we don't remember.
454
00:23:52,085 --> 00:23:55,842
- Dude, weird night, huh?
- Yeah, man, so weird.
455
00:23:56,094 --> 00:23:58,698
- Still on to club milk?
- Oh, for sure,
456
00:23:59,209 --> 00:24:02,482
might be kind of tricky me getting
out on time, but wait for me, okay?
457
00:24:03,078 --> 00:24:05,128
All right, see you there. Okay!
458
00:24:09,805 --> 00:24:12,005
I hope Ron got our check up front.
459
00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:25,091
- How about we make rules.
- Rules?
460
00:24:25,216 --> 00:24:29,150
Like I don't owe you anything
and you don't owe me anything.
461
00:24:29,275 --> 00:24:31,918
And it's just very casual, relaxed,
462
00:24:32,043 --> 00:24:34,750
you know like we're friends
and colleagues,
463
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:37,592
and we just happened
to "f" each other.
464
00:24:37,997 --> 00:24:41,083
- Just casual.
- Just like really like passing time,
465
00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:43,189
- that's how I'm thinking about it.
- Sure.
466
00:24:44,626 --> 00:24:46,401
Christ, just get me my coat.
467
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,010
Fuck off, dickhead.
468
00:24:57,238 --> 00:24:59,205
- You want to hear some sonnets?
- I don't no.
469
00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:00,999
Okay good, cause I don't have any.
470
00:25:01,619 --> 00:25:03,068
I looked it up on line,
471
00:25:03,193 --> 00:25:05,462
his dad's name was Louie Baretta.
So it's a family name.
472
00:25:06,018 --> 00:25:09,174
That's weird, why would that call
his dad that? I don't get it.
473
00:25:09,937 --> 00:25:13,137
Are you still hookin' up
with kellum tonight or what?
474
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,615
He's kind of a douche.
475
00:25:16,994 --> 00:25:19,915
I was thinkin' about stoppin' by
the okkie dog on the way home.
476
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:21,937
- I don't know, you wanna come?
- Really?
477
00:25:22,193 --> 00:25:24,059
- Yeah! Awesome, I'd love to.
- Sweet.
478
00:25:24,184 --> 00:25:25,933
You could give me some notes
on my cow.
479
00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:28,346
- What have you got so far?
- I'm going with real low tones,
480
00:25:28,471 --> 00:25:30,971
but I don't wanna sound
like a guy cow.
481
00:25:40,934 --> 00:25:42,998
- You like this pancake?
- Yeah.
482
00:25:43,123 --> 00:25:46,184
I knew it, I knew you were
all about the fuckin' flapjacks.
483
00:25:46,309 --> 00:25:47,409
Please stop.
484
00:25:50,161 --> 00:25:52,843
Don't stop that, just stop talkin'
about fuckin' pancakes.
485
00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,568
Oh right, okay, sorry.
486
00:25:59,807 --> 00:26:01,726
Just call me
Mrs. Butterworth, bitch.
487
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:05,011
Subtitles: Are You having Fun Team
--==All-about-Subs.fr / Sub-Way.fr==--
488
00:26:05,061 --> 00:26:09,611
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