All language subtitles for Outsourced s01e03 Party of Five.eng

Okay, everyone,
be sure to push these t-shirts.

They're great impulse buys.

Todd.

This shirt is for me

because I care about
the environment.

[Laughing]
Nice.

"Spooning may
lead to forking."

Ha ha.
That's kind of a pun.

I understand,
I just can't believe

a man would wear
a shirt like this in public.

That's actually
a women's shirt.

Really?

All right, look.
These, they're jokes.

They're kind of
like icebreakers,

a way to
start a conversation.

You don't have to me
a woman's family

or have a good job...
You can meet her

just by what it says
on her t-shirt?

Yeah, it's possible.

Wow.

What is a mustache ride?

That's a little
too advanced for today.

Maybe next week.

[Quietly]
Oh.

If I give you ten cents,

may I have a ride
to work tomorrow?

Sync by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

[Telephone voice] Okay, thank
you very much, please, good bye.

Oh, man,
have you seen Tonya today?

She is ten pounds of pretty
in a five-pound sack.

- She's extra pretty.
- Yeah, got it.

You have
a special lady back home?

Uh, nothing serious,
you know, just dating.

Although, I did meet a girl
right before I got here.

I told her
I was leaving the country

and that kind of
made things intense.

We had
an amazing weekend.

You should keep in touch
with her, man.

You don't want
to lose someone like that.

Well, it's a little tough.

She thinks I'm in Iraq.

Yeah, not proud.

Here she comes.
Gotta get this right.

I'm gonna
ask her out today.

How's my breath?

I see you haven't
run out of Slim Jims yet.

Uh, okay,
I'll leave you to it.

No, no, no.
You're my wingman.

Help me out here.
I need a pickup line.

You don't need a pickup line.
Just be yourself.

"Uh, hey, Tonya,
if you were a deer,

I'd shoot you
and mount you."

- Be someone else.
- Right.

G'day, fellas.
How's the arvo going?

Oh.

Come on, arvo.
Aussie for afternoon.

Oh, okay.
That's good to know.

I once shot a kangaroo.

So there you go.

So Charlie
was telling me about

this Indian restaurant
he really likes.

It's supposed
to be amazing, right?

Yeah, it's amazing.

You might like it.

What's it called?

Ting Tang
Wallah Walla Bing Bang.

It's a chain.
[Clears throat]

Maybe Friday,
if you're free for dinner.

Um, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, we should
all go out.

Oh. Well, I...
[Cell phone rings]

Oh, sorry, that's me.
So tomorrow night, right?

Cool, bye.

Hey.

- I'm sorry...
- No.

You put her in the crosshairs,
and I pulled the trigger.

Looks like I'm about
to bag my second roo.

Only thing is,
now you need a date.

- Okay.
- Oh, man.

How do you drink
hot tea in this weather?

- It's not that hot.
- Not that hot?

I can't stop sweating.

The guidebook
told me to use baby powder.

Now I've got a paste factory
in my pants.

So our friendship
is to the place

where we say
anything we think?

I'm sorry.

Hey, uh, Manmeet,

I did want to ask you
something, though.

Huh?

So how does the whole dating
thing work here in India?

- Oh, it's a nightmare, man.
- Yeah?

You have to be
from the right family,

have the right education...

It's not like in America.

I heard women
ask the men out.

You can just be
driving down the street,

and a woman will
come up to your car

and ask if you want a date.

I think those women
charge for their dates,

but, yeah,
this is pretty different.

Why do you ask?

Well, I got
roped into having dinner

with Charlie and Tonya
tomorrow night.

I don't
have a date, and...

And you're wondering
how you can ask Asha.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

No, no.

[Laughing]
I know you like her, man.

No, I don't.

Todd, I've seen
the way you look at her.

I look at her the way I look
at any other employee.

I've seen it, okay?

This is how you look
at the rest of the employees.

This is how you look at Asha.

[Laughs]

You notice the difference?

Rest of the employees...

Asha.

Employees.

Asha.

Employees...

Okay!
Look, I don't do that.

But even if I was
interested in her, you know,

this whole work thing.

I'm her boss,
and she works for me.

I've only ever
role-played this,

and even then
I'm never the boss.

What would you do
in America?

Uh, probably do
the group thing.

You know, tell her a bunch of
people are going out for dinner,

and then at the restaurant,
sit next to her,

pull out the charm,
maybe even

break out
my baby chick story.

Your what?

My uncle had a farm.

And one summer,
a hen died

and I ended up hand-raising
these baby chicks.

Is there a picture,
you ask?

Why, yes.
Yes, there is.

Oh, my...

You're feeding a baby chick
with an eyedropper.

And if we were on a date
right now, you would be mine.

So do you think
you can charm Asha

into going out with you?

Watch and learn.

What a hot day today.

Why, madhuri,
I didn't realize

what a sparkling
conversationalist you were.

Tell me more about
this heat you speak of?

Well,
I was just saying...

Sarcasm!
Leave me.

I just came
to say that Gurpreet

is making
a personal call.

Hey, Asha.

Hey, so, uh,
a couple of people from work

are going out
to dinner tomorrow night.

Do you want to join us?

Where are you going?

I don't know,
is there

someplace you've always
wanted to try?

Well, Lal Mirch
is supposed to be amazing.

I'll get a reservation.

I'll be there.

Bye.

Step one,
get her to dinner.

Check.

Man,
that was so smooth.

I'm like someone
who wants to paint

watching someone who knows
how to paint... paint.

What can I say?
I'm the man with the plan.

[Laughing]
Asha just told me.

I'm so excited we're all
going out tomorrow night.

Oh, I can't believe we're
socializing outside of work.

Don't tell Madhuri.
Let's keep it A-list.

Sometimes plans backfire.

What do you think?

Great place.

So is this a gay club?

No! In India, men often dance
with each other.

It doesn't mean
that they're gay.

As you say,
it's no big deal.

Todd, do you
want to dance?

Uh, no, thanks.
I'm just going to stay here

and make sure
we get a table.

- Do you want to...
- Nope.

- Are you sure?
- No.

- But it's a lot of fun.
- No.

[Laughter]

I got it.

Yesterday's history,
tomorrow's a mystery.

But today is a gift,

and that is why
we call it the present.

[Laughter]

Cheers, cheers.

That's really beautiful.

Thank you.

It's the turtle from
Kung Fu Panda.

You should rent it.

As my dad always said,

"If you can't feel your hands
and you can't feel your feet,

put down your glass,
it's time to eat."

- Yes!
- I'll drink to that.

[Laughter]
All right! Okay.

Mm.

As my father used to say,

"Shut your mouth!
Shut your mouth!

I can't hear the radio!"

[Laughs]

Okay.
[Others softly chuckle]

All righty, then.

As we say in Australia,
"Up your bum!"

[Laughing]
Yes.

Up all our bums.
Ha ha!

[Both scream]

What are you doing here?

My aunt's family is visiting,

so there's not enough room
for me in the bedroom.

I would have
to sleep on the roof.

So?

So I thought...

My key?
You took my key?

It was only for two nights.

You are trespassing
on company property.

Todd will hear about this.
Now go!

But what are you doing here?

Excuse me?

What are you doing here?

Did you just question me?

No, sir,
I would never question you,

but what are you doing here?

I am here doing work.

The assistant manager
has responsibilities

your pea brain
could never even imagine.

Sir?

I found your nest.

My father's air-conditioning
is broken, until I can arrange...

Well, what am I doing?
I don't owe you an explanation! Out!

I'm sorry, sir.
I was wrong to come.

Tomorrow
I will confess to Todd

everything
that happened here.

W... Wait!

I never measured any part
of my body with a ruler.

[Laughter]

All right, all right,
my turn.

I never have been attracted
to anyone I work with.

Okay, I'll go.

I never shaved my legs.

I wanted to see
what it felt like.

Here's one, I never slept with
anyone on the first date.

Oh, boy.

Wah, wah.

Oh, come on.
What?

You never got carried away
on a date before?

- I don't really date.
- No way.

What, the guys are
intimidated by your looks?

Your looks scare me.

That came out wrong.

- It's complicated.
- No, it's not.

Her parents are
arranging her marriage.

See? Done.

Oh, you're doing
an arranged marriage.

- Really?
- Yeah.

How does that work?

Well, my parents meet
prospective grooms,

then, of the guys
that they approve,

I'll choose one.

Ah, and then you
start dating the guy?

No, no, no. You date after
you agree to the marriage.

That's ass-backwards.
Sorry, but it is.

All right,
with this arranged thing,

on your wedding night,
you'll finally be

sleeping with someone
on the first date. Ha!

[Laughing]
Up your bum!

- We're done with that.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm still not getting this.

Shouldn't you be marrying
someone that you love?

No, no, no, no, no.
You can learn to love someone.

My parents' marriage
was arranged,

and they've been
together for fourty years.

They sleep
in separate bedrooms

because my mother
doesn't like the sound

my father makes
when he sleeps.

[Snores]

It's like a train.

Okay,
think about it like this.

A love marriage is like hot soup
that grows cold over time.

An arranged marriage is like
cold soup that you heat over time.

[inhales]
Not for me.

I like my soup piping hot.

I like to slurp my soup.

- Over the line.
- Sorry.

Don't look at me like that.

You don't have to be so sad.
This is something that I want to do.

And, at the end of the day,
I still get to choose who I want.

Really?

Really.

Well, I am very glad
that you told me that.

- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

What am I doing?

Wait, wait, I haven't
shown you my baby chicken.

- In case they don't come back.
- Sure.

Good night, sir.

Thank you
for the pillow.

Are you asleep?

I never told you,
but I just

wanted to say
thank you for hiring me.

This job means everything
to my family.

[Flatulence]

Oh, now I understand
this product.

To the worst
double date in history.

I'd say "Up your bum," but it's
not as much fun since our dates left.

Cheers.

You believe this sausage fest?

Yeah, it's crazy.

Music's not bad, though.

No, it's got a good beat.

What if we went out there?

- As a joke.
- Yeah, as a joke.

- I'm in. All right.
- I'm in.

Ah!
[Shouts indistinctly]

Okay!
[Laughs]

Come on, come on,
get into it.

Hey!

Madhuri, what did
you do last night?

That's great.
I went on a double date.

It's what Americans do.

We went to Lal Mirch,
I had plenty of pakoras,

it was fantastic,
we had a good...

[Mutters]

Todd.
You okay, man?

Oh, man.

India is the worst place
for a hangover.

The heat, the smell,
the crowds.

Hey, how offensive
do you think it would be

if I bought a turban
and filled it with ice?

Man, I'm sorry
about your date disaster.

Mm...
You know about that?

Everyone does.

We don't have
an inter-office newsletter,

but we do have Gupta.

Oh!

And Todd,
there's no unsubscribing.

Oh, man.

Hey.

Oh, sir?

May I have your signature
right here, please?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Thank you.

Uh-huh.

You know, sir.

Many of our customers who
bought their girlfriends

the anti-bitch pills

later ended up buying
the "I'm so sorry" teddy bear.

Why not save on shipping
and buy them both today, eh?

I'm sorry, ma'am,

but the "World's Best Mom" t-shirts
are actually on backorder.

[Woman on telephone]
Aw, crap!

I was gonna wear that
to my parole hearing.

Hey, Asha, um...

I wanted to apologize
for last night

and the whole feet thing.

Yes,
that was surprising.

I imagine you're
more accustomed

to putting your foot
in your mouth.

Ha!

Yeah, I actually thought you
started touching me with your foot.

You know, I hate to
leave a lady hanging.

Ah, so chivalry isn't dead.

So, uh, so what's next
on the marriage agenda?

Your parents are gonna meet
some new guys,

and then there's
the talent portion,

maybe the
swimsuit competition.

Actually,
I go over their bio-data.

Bio-data?

Yes, it's a resume
for an arranged marriage.

List a man's education,
his job,

his religion,
things like that.

Interesting.

I wonder if I threw
my bio-data in the mix,

how I would stack up?

I think you'd make it
through the first round.

Really?

Yes.

In fact,
I know a woman

who is considering you
right now.

Todd, someone wants to speak
to the manager urgently.

Go ahead,
put him through.

Sorry, Asha.

Mid America Novelties.

This is Todd,
how can I help you?

[Tonya on phone]
I'd like to lodge a complaint.

There's an evening
I'd like to return.

Well, I'm sorry,
we don't do refunds.

Well, in that case,
I would like an exchange.

Let me describe to you
the product that I'm interested in.

Great smile, hazel eyes,
and bloody adorable.

Well, that item isn't feeling
so adorable right now.

Last night
it got hammered

and danced
with a bunch of dudes.

Well, lucky for you,

I've got just
the hangover cure.

So last night
was kind of weird

with all
the misunderstandings.

Yeah, your foot went
on a walkabout in my crotch.

Well, now you know
I'm very direct.

No matter what the obstacle,
I go after what I want.

Yeah, yeah.
Me too.

You know,
if you ever get tired

of banging your head
against the wall with Asha,

You could always
try banging...

You know what? I think
I've made my position pretty clear.

Cheers.

Aah, Mumbai!

- Yaaah.
- Charlie?

Hey.

What are you doing
in a hotel?

I have no idea.

I drank so much,
I must have blacked out.

Last thing I remember,
I was on the dance floor with Tonya.

That great smile, hazel eyes,
cute little button nose.

Uh, Charlie,
that was me.

You're strong enough
to dip me?

Yeah,
you grabbed my boob.

I think it's best we just forget
the whole night ever happened.

Done. Hey, get me one of
those coconuts, will ya?

I hate blacking out.

I hope I didn't
embarrass myself last night.

You know, we're passing lots
of stores that sell clothes.

I could loan you
a couple of bucks.

I don't borrow money.
I've got my dignity.

Nice breeze.

I'm not looking forward to
the bus ride home in this heat.

All those people
who had lentils for lunch.

Gupta, what did
you have for lunch?

Lentils.

I'm not saying
it's going to be

a pleasure cruise
for them, either.

Well, I'm going to sleep
like a baby tonight.

My father got his
air-conditioning fixed.

I'd invite you guys all over,
but you are not my equals.

That may offend you,
but it doesn't matter

because, once again,
you are not my equals.

What do you
think you're doing?

Going home.

Did you sign your call logs?

- Yes.
- No?

How many times
do I have to tell you?

You are incompetent.

Page 45 of the employee manual

clearly states that you must
sign your call log

at the end of every day.

Read it before
you go home tonight.

If you can read.

Sync by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0