Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,445 --> 00:00:04,790
All I'm saying is, you can't stroll
around the house stark naked.
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,155
All I'm saying is
that you should've mentioned
3
00:00:07,171 --> 00:00:09,179
that Karen had a little friend
staying the night.
4
00:00:09,195 --> 00:00:11,179
I did, you just forgot.
I did not forget.
5
00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:16,175
On two or three occasions,
I mentioned, "Don't go out starkers."
6
00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:21,235
She's got a very piercing scream,
hasn't she?
7
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,199
So have you!
8
00:00:23,548 --> 00:00:25,536
Look, Maisie hasn't got a dad
9
00:00:25,552 --> 00:00:27,564
so she's not used to getting up
in the night
10
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:31,528
and encountering a great,
hulking, hairy, naked man.
11
00:00:31,815 --> 00:00:33,811
I did tell her not to scream.
12
00:00:33,827 --> 00:00:36,831
"Karen's daddy stood there naked
and told me not to scream,"
13
00:00:36,843 --> 00:00:38,831
that will sound good in court.
14
00:00:38,847 --> 00:00:41,719
Anyway, we've got to be at
the restaurant in half an hour.
15
00:00:41,786 --> 00:00:43,722
We'd better get ready.
16
00:00:44,191 --> 00:00:46,195
One night, Karen
and her stupid friend Maisie
17
00:00:46,211 --> 00:00:49,175
were playing on the climbing frame,
but little did they know
18
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:53,028
that they were about to fall to
their death, and Maisie died!
19
00:00:53,881 --> 00:00:54,945
And then, Karen died!
20
00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:59,949
Oh, hello. Is your mum or dad in?
21
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,965
Er, well, I don't know where
my mum is.
22
00:01:02,881 --> 00:01:04,893
And your dad?
He's on the toilet.
23
00:01:04,905 --> 00:01:06,965
Right. Do you think he'll be long?
24
00:01:06,977 --> 00:01:10,957
Well, he can be very long, but...
25
00:01:10,969 --> 00:01:12,905
Do you want money?
26
00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:14,925
No, no, I'm here to save your mummy
and daddy money.
27
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,961
Hi, Karen.
Oh, hi, Lauren.
28
00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:18,925
She came round to our house.
29
00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:21,941
My daddy says people
like her should be shot.
30
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,949
My dad's on the toilet.
Bye.
31
00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:25,977
So, do you want money or not?
32
00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:28,913
Little did Lady Victoria know
33
00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:31,965
that she was standing on top
of a hot volcanic geyser.
34
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:38,913
I'm... I'm here to save your mummy
and daddy money by combining
35
00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:40,973
their internet and telephone access
to fibre optic technology.
36
00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:42,921
Who is it, Karen?
37
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:49,917
It's some person trying to sell...
cyber optic technology.
38
00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:51,957
Fibre optic technology.
Tell them we're not interested.
39
00:01:51,969 --> 00:01:53,929
We're not interested.
40
00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:54,977
But it's a really good deal...
41
00:01:55,893 --> 00:01:57,929
Tell her to go away.
Go away.
42
00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:06,885
Burns, it burns!
43
00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:08,901
Everybody else is dead,
it's just me.
44
00:02:08,913 --> 00:02:09,961
It's just, I need to make a sale...
45
00:02:09,977 --> 00:02:12,913
Well, I mean, you can always try
other houses.
46
00:02:12,929 --> 00:02:15,933
But I really can give you all...
Down there there's some old people.
47
00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:18,961
They're a bit crazy in the head
like most old people are,
48
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:21,909
so they'll buy anything.
49
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:23,953
He was wrestling
the giant spitting cobra.
50
00:02:25,893 --> 00:02:26,961
You're not going to spit at me!
51
00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:30,893
Argh!
52
00:02:30,909 --> 00:02:35,953
Or maybe you should maybe make some
drinks and say, "Here, have a drink."
53
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:39,965
Or just bake something like cakes
or cookies and then say,
54
00:02:39,977 --> 00:02:41,913
"Would you like a cookie?
55
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:46,961
You get a free cookie if you buy
my... the internet thing."
56
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:48,921
They really would save money
throughout the year.
57
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,949
We don't want to buy it, so...
58
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:52,897
But it really is a good deal.
59
00:02:52,913 --> 00:02:54,937
Look, I just think you need to get
better at this job
60
00:02:54,953 --> 00:02:59,889
and, well, I'm fed up
so I'm going to go.
61
00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:04,901
Karen, can you not tell strangers
that I am on the toilet?
62
00:03:04,913 --> 00:03:05,949
But you are.
63
00:03:05,965 --> 00:03:09,885
Yeah, OK, but tell them, tell them
I'm busy or something.
64
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,909
But you weren't busy,
you were just sitting there,
65
00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:12,957
only your bottom was busy.
66
00:03:12,973 --> 00:03:15,937
And there was no need to slam
the door in her face like that.
67
00:03:15,949 --> 00:03:17,929
But she wouldn't listen.
68
00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:20,973
Like all grownups. They're idiots.
69
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,893
Are you not going to answer that?
70
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:35,881
It was the headmaster.
71
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:37,901
That top looks nice.
72
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,881
That's three you haven't answered
since you got home.
73
00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:40,889
Is it?
74
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:42,977
No, that looks really, really nice.
75
00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,889
No, won't do, will it?
76
00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:48,921
I don't want my sister making
one of her charity shop jibes.
77
00:03:51,881 --> 00:03:52,929
Yar!
78
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:56,965
Is Aunty Angela coming here then?
79
00:03:57,881 --> 00:04:00,929
No, I booked us in for dinner at
that Italian place round the corner.
80
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,909
Rather shrewd manoeuvre on my part.
81
00:04:03,925 --> 00:04:05,953
Neutral ground. Less chance of
anything untoward happening
82
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:07,905
between Mum and Aunty Angela.
83
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,925
What, like Mum kicking her
up the arse again?
84
00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:12,929
Well, that's hardly likely
to happen twice,
85
00:04:12,945 --> 00:04:15,909
especially in a busy restaurant,
in public.
86
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:17,905
Well, the wedding reception
was in public.
87
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:27,889
You said that last time.
88
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,905
This time Aunty Angela will be
on her best behaviour
89
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:30,973
because she's be with her new bloke,
Brick.
90
00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:32,941
Oh, God, I bet he's a pillock.
91
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,909
You know nothing about him.
92
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:38,965
He's a therapist, he's American
and his name is Brick.
93
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,933
Fair enough.
94
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,885
He's got to have a fake tan
and a ponytail.
95
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:46,953
No, not both,
no, that would be too obvious.
96
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,977
So, that's a quid on the ponytail
and a quid that at some point
97
00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:58,977
he'll use the phrase,
"low self-esteem".
98
00:04:59,893 --> 00:05:01,929
OK. But I'm not letting you off bets
any more.
99
00:05:01,945 --> 00:05:03,913
You lose, you play.
OK, OK.
100
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,973
You still owe me from that bet
about how many people would die
101
00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:07,921
in that episode of Casualty.
102
00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:09,921
You cheated. You saw the
gas explosion on the trailer.
103
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,917
What in God's name
have you been doing?
104
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,965
Watering the plants.
Mum said I could do it.
105
00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:19,893
Oh! How long have you been...?
106
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,965
Oh, my God, it looks like The Somme.
107
00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:26,901
Go upstairs and change into
your smart stuff.
108
00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:30,901
Why did you let Ben loose
in the garden with the hose?
109
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:34,937
The big no-no's - Ben and water, Ben
and fire, Ben and depilatory cream.
110
00:05:39,941 --> 00:05:42,893
I was wondering whether we should've
bought Angela a wedding present.
111
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:46,969
Still, she didn't actually tell us
that she was getting married,
112
00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:50,917
so...
Who's Mimi?
113
00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,913
Um...
114
00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:56,885
Only, she wants to talk
about the other night,
115
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:57,933
she's confused.
116
00:05:58,969 --> 00:06:00,917
Mimi?
117
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:05,937
Are you confused as well, because
she's texted you... seven times
118
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,885
in the last two days.
119
00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:08,933
You've been looking at my texts.
120
00:06:08,945 --> 00:06:11,917
Who... is... Mimi?
121
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:14,937
If I can't hit him,
how do I stop him...
122
00:06:14,953 --> 00:06:17,913
Not now, Karen.
From stealing my sausage rolls?
123
00:06:17,925 --> 00:06:18,961
Hey?
124
00:06:18,977 --> 00:06:21,881
She got into trouble for hitting
this boy at lunchtime.
125
00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:22,929
You mustn't hit anyone.
126
00:06:22,941 --> 00:06:24,977
Mrs Bassoon said it was unladylike.
127
00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:27,953
Well, she's never said Ben hitting
anyone is unmanlike.
128
00:06:27,969 --> 00:06:29,933
You don't hit him,
you go tell a teacher.
129
00:06:29,945 --> 00:06:31,961
But he'll have licked it by then.
130
00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:33,953
Then hit him in a ladylike way.
131
00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:35,901
That is just ridiculous.
132
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,901
Can I hit him or not?
It's a simple question.
133
00:06:37,913 --> 00:06:38,925
No.
134
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,945
We'll get back to you on that,
now, off you go.
135
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:42,893
Because I need to know.
136
00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:46,965
So now you've had plenty of time
to think of an answer.
137
00:06:48,889 --> 00:06:51,921
After Mike's leaving do, we went
onto this pub that does music.
138
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:57,965
And this Mimi was there and she came
over and we had a dance.
139
00:06:58,881 --> 00:07:00,925
Slow dance?
Well... slowish.
140
00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:08,034
A medium slow, more...
Derek Underwood than Shane Warne.
141
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,993
It was nothing!
142
00:07:10,009 --> 00:07:12,037
Show me.
Sorry?
143
00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:15,009
Show me how you danced with Mimi.
144
00:07:15,025 --> 00:07:17,973
Don't be silly.
How did you hold her?
145
00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:21,029
Look, don't be ridiculous.
Show me!
146
00:07:25,037 --> 00:07:26,985
Well, I suppose...
147
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:32,981
Oh, God, get a room!
148
00:07:32,997 --> 00:07:35,065
Oh, Mum...
Jake, give us a few minutes, please?
149
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,013
All right then.
150
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,989
And this is what
she got confused about, is it?
151
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:46,989
I think she gets confused...
152
00:07:47,001 --> 00:07:49,029
You know the sink plunger,
153
00:07:49,045 --> 00:07:52,985
do they make them 500 times bigger
for really big sinks?
154
00:07:52,997 --> 00:07:54,033
Why would you want one that big?
155
00:07:54,049 --> 00:07:57,033
So I could pick up a much bigger
tortoise and I could go like that
156
00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:59,053
and I could use it a bit like
a tortoise club.
157
00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,053
Wouldn't that be cool?
Yes, it would.
158
00:08:01,069 --> 00:08:03,013
Now, if you don't mind,
darling, Daddy and...
159
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,061
I think I left the hose on.
160
00:08:04,973 --> 00:08:06,069
Come on, kill it!
161
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:13,013
Look, we danced and at the end
of the night, she kissed me,
162
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:15,013
and I think she may have got
the wrong idea.
163
00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:17,985
I'm very sorry
but I was very, very drunk,
164
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,045
so I... I kissed her back a bit.
165
00:08:21,061 --> 00:08:25,025
But honestly, the state I was in,
it could've been anyone.
166
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,065
It could have been anyone.
167
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:33,057
No, I don't mean it could've been...
Except me, presumably.
168
00:08:33,069 --> 00:08:35,029
Oh, I'm sorry, but I...
169
00:08:35,045 --> 00:08:38,005
Can I wear my bridesmaid's dress?
No!
170
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,973
So you got pissed and snogged
a total stranger.
171
00:08:40,989 --> 00:08:43,057
She wasn't a total stranger.
So, who is she?
172
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:49,045
Why don't we talk about this after
the meal with Angela?
173
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,973
She was the mum of a boy
in Year Two.
174
00:08:52,455 --> 00:08:55,245
Oh, God, it'll be all around
the playground.
175
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,353
No-one saw us.
176
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,305
How do you know?
Were you alertly scanning the room
177
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,305
when you shoved your tongue
down her throat?
178
00:09:01,317 --> 00:09:02,353
Listen...
179
00:09:02,369 --> 00:09:04,373
Just like when Beatrice's mum turned
up at the nativity play,
180
00:09:05,289 --> 00:09:07,341
it all went quiet and everyone heard
Mary say to Joseph,
181
00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:10,357
"That's the one
who sexed the plumber." Jesus, Pete!
182
00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,305
It's not like that at all.
183
00:09:12,321 --> 00:09:15,297
What sort of a name is Mimi anyway?
Short for Mia.
184
00:09:15,313 --> 00:09:19,301
It is not short for Mia, it is bloody
longer than bloody Mia.
185
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:22,321
You've just snogged a woman who is so
stupid that she's shortened her name
186
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,289
to something longer.
187
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:26,325
Shush!
Don't tell me to be quiet.
188
00:09:26,341 --> 00:09:28,297
It's Jake.
What?!
189
00:09:28,313 --> 00:09:30,337
Jake.
Oh, God!
190
00:09:30,349 --> 00:09:32,345
Do you think he heard?
191
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,329
See what you've done?
192
00:09:36,349 --> 00:09:39,377
We can't pretend this hasn't
happened. You're going to talk to him.
193
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,337
Am I?
194
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,285
Oh, who the hell is that?
195
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:46,361
It's Aunty Angela.
Oh, God!
196
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,349
- Do I look normal?
- This is Brick.
197
00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:56,313
Absolutely. But look, with Angela,
can you just control yourself?
198
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,289
You want me to control myself
after what you've...?!
199
00:09:59,305 --> 00:10:00,337
Hi.
Hello.
200
00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:03,505
I thought we were meeting in
the restaurant.
201
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,505
Yeah, well, we were a bit early
so we thought...
202
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,525
Brick. Great to meet you
at last, Sue.
203
00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:09,473
Hello.
204
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,501
Pete, how's it going?
205
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:13,493
Hi.
This is Taylor Jean.
206
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:16,493
Say hi to everyone, honey.
Hi.
207
00:10:16,509 --> 00:10:18,497
I didn't know you had
a little girl, Brick.
208
00:10:18,509 --> 00:10:20,445
We have five kids.
209
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:21,537
Five?!
210
00:10:22,453 --> 00:10:25,500
Misty, Dune, Plymouth and Mustang
couldn't leave Phoenix right now.
211
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,518
Is Phoenix the youngest?
212
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:32,621
His place, Sue, where we live,
with our five kids.
213
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,593
Oh... right.
214
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:36,541
Did you buy your children?
215
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,621
Buy them?
216
00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:39,609
Yes, like Madonna.
217
00:10:39,625 --> 00:10:41,389
Well, Madonna didn't actually buy
her kids...
218
00:10:41,412 --> 00:10:44,368
Last time you were here,
you didn't have any kids,
219
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:46,360
so it's impossible to have
five kids now,
220
00:10:46,372 --> 00:10:48,368
and especially at your age.
221
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,036
Karen, that's rude.
No, no, no, it's fine.
222
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:56,040
They're my kids, Karen, from
a marriage I was in before
223
00:10:56,052 --> 00:10:58,080
and now they're Angela's kids.
224
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,128
But where's their mummy?
225
00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:03,040
Taylor Jean, who is your mum?
Angela is my mum.
226
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,040
Hey, you've got to be Jake?
227
00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:08,088
Hi, big guy.
228
00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:11,036
I like your ponytail.
Great.
229
00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:13,120
So, that leaves the legend I crossed
the Atlantic to meet.
230
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,128
What I haven't heard about Ben.
231
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:18,116
Ben has actually had a very good
year, hasn't he, Pete?
232
00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:20,108
Yeah, he's been picked by the school
233
00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:22,100
as being exceptionally gifted
at chess.
234
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,132
He's discovered
his intellectual side.
235
00:11:25,044 --> 00:11:26,080
Rarr!
236
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:28,116
Hi, Ben.
237
00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:30,064
He's so muddy.
238
00:11:30,076 --> 00:11:31,112
Oh, cool!
239
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,124
Hey, fella, I'm Brick.
240
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,096
Brick?
Yeah, Brick.
241
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:37,104
Is that a name?
Yes, it's a name.
242
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,072
You mean Brick as in brick,
the thing?
243
00:11:40,084 --> 00:11:42,060
Ben, Ben, go and get changed.
244
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,100
Go on, then we can go round
the corner to the restaurant.
245
00:11:44,116 --> 00:11:47,092
Brick? What a weird name.
I think it's a great name.
246
00:11:47,104 --> 00:11:49,040
What's it short for?
247
00:11:49,052 --> 00:11:51,068
Well, what were you christened?
248
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,112
Brick. I was christened Brick.
249
00:11:53,124 --> 00:11:56,052
Oh, better still.
250
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:58,056
So, where is her real mum?
Karen!
251
00:11:58,072 --> 00:12:00,044
So sorry about that.
It's fine.
252
00:12:00,056 --> 00:12:01,104
We've all got kids so we understand.
253
00:12:03,128 --> 00:12:05,076
So, which one is she?
254
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,108
I just want to know
who they're talking about
255
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,096
when they giggle and point at me.
256
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:13,124
She's the one with the ginger boy
who broke his foot last term.
257
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,076
Her?!
Yeah.
258
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:18,100
Her?!
What?
259
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,096
Nothing.
260
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,064
God, you must've been...
261
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,052
That is insulting.
262
00:12:26,064 --> 00:12:27,100
Look, I didn't...
263
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:30,100
I'm going to catch up to Angela and
you're going to explain to your son
264
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:33,108
why you kissed someone older
and fatter than me.
265
00:12:35,128 --> 00:12:39,064
So, how was school today, Ben?
Great. We had sex education.
266
00:12:39,076 --> 00:12:40,112
Right.
267
00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,060
They show you a film or something?
268
00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:43,116
No. Mrs Bradley asked us
269
00:12:43,132 --> 00:12:46,048
to shout out all the names we knew
for men's bits.
270
00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:48,128
Really?
We got to 18.
271
00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:53,060
Though Mrs Bradley wasn't sure
about pink bazooka.
272
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,056
She said Abraham had made it up.
Hiya.
273
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:56,128
Which he had.
274
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,076
Jake.
275
00:12:58,092 --> 00:13:01,076
Look, I think you may have heard
something this morning
276
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:03,096
you really shouldn't have heard.
277
00:13:03,108 --> 00:13:05,044
I couldn't help hear it.
278
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:10,258
OK, well, I want you to know
that I hugely regret what I did.
279
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:14,094
What did you do?
I didn't hear that bit.
280
00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:17,188
OK, maybe we don't need to talk.
281
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,160
No. No, Dad...
282
00:13:19,176 --> 00:13:21,164
So, you've put the house
on the market?
283
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:24,947
Yeah, yeah,
we just wanted an upgrade.
284
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:28,061
Everything good with you and Pete?
God, yes, absolutely.
285
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,053
Very good. Great, terrific.
286
00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,057
Top-notch.
Fantastic.
287
00:13:32,073 --> 00:13:36,277
Listen, Sue, what you did to me
at the wedding reception,
288
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:39,284
I just want you to know,
I've already forgotten it.
289
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,232
Oh.
290
00:13:41,248 --> 00:13:44,276
Great. Shall we just turn over
a new page?
291
00:13:44,288 --> 00:13:47,240
Sue, I've turned over two new pages.
292
00:13:47,256 --> 00:13:50,256
In fact, I've turned over
an entire novel.
293
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:54,228
I didn't know this place
had an upstairs.
294
00:13:54,244 --> 00:13:56,228
So, Dad, what is this?
Are you having an affair?
295
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,244
No! Shush!
296
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:02,292
Listen, Jake, I need you to be
really grown up about this.
297
00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:07,292
I got very drunk
and I kissed this woman.
298
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,240
Mimi?
299
00:14:09,252 --> 00:14:10,312
Yeah, that was...
300
00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:13,224
I thought you said you didn't hear?
301
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:14,272
Yeah, well, I heard that bit.
302
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:17,252
She's the ginger kid's mum.
Warren's dad had a thing with her
303
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,040
when I was in Year Six.
Oh, right.
304
00:14:19,053 --> 00:14:21,101
Warren says she's only desperate
because she's lonely.
305
00:14:21,117 --> 00:14:24,097
Used to call him up all the time
and cry down the phone.
306
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:26,045
Did she?
307
00:14:26,061 --> 00:14:28,045
She used to sit outside his house
in her car.
308
00:14:28,061 --> 00:14:30,033
Uh-huh.
And she posted him lots of...
309
00:14:30,045 --> 00:14:31,109
Yeah, all right, thank you.
310
00:14:31,686 --> 00:14:33,694
Hi, there.
Hi, Kelly.
311
00:14:35,295 --> 00:14:38,075
I didn't know Kelly worked here.
Did you?
312
00:14:38,165 --> 00:14:40,189
Hello? Jake?
313
00:14:42,271 --> 00:14:45,255
OK, big fella, you sit there,
TJ next to me...
314
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,339
Oh, no! No, this is no good.
315
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:48,287
Kelly.
316
00:14:48,299 --> 00:14:51,275
We seem to be in a room on our own.
317
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,255
Yeah, we had a bit of an overspill
so we put you in here.
318
00:14:54,271 --> 00:14:57,279
Yeah, but we, we like eating
where the action is.
319
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:59,283
You know, amongst lots of people,
don't we?
320
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,267
This is great.
We are full downstairs.
321
00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:04,323
Lovely.
322
00:15:04,339 --> 00:15:07,283
Come on, Hugh Grant.
You come sit across from me.
323
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,343
Let's start with
a bottle of red, honey.
324
00:15:10,259 --> 00:15:11,323
Choose us something nice.
Actually, I don't think we'll...
325
00:15:11,335 --> 00:15:13,271
I'll have a Bloody Mary.
326
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:17,287
Oh, this is great, isn't it?
This is just great.
327
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:19,259
Jake.
328
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:22,311
Quick reminder, try looking at
her face, women like that.
329
00:15:22,327 --> 00:15:26,263
They're not so keen on being looked
at like some slab of meat.
330
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:27,311
That goes for you as well.
331
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:32,327
Now, guys, I just want to say
a few words.
332
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:35,303
Now, I don't need to be a therapist
333
00:15:35,319 --> 00:15:38,279
to see there's an elephant
in this room.
334
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:39,327
An elephant?
335
00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:43,271
A hidden source of tension between
two people who love each other,
336
00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:46,283
but I like shooting elephants.
337
00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:50,255
Now, we all know there's been
history between these sisters.
338
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:52,303
Can we forget it? No, we can't.
339
00:15:52,315 --> 00:15:54,251
You can't shoot elephants.
340
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:56,291
Can we acknowledge it? Yes, we can.
341
00:15:57,327 --> 00:15:59,275
Can we move on?
342
00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:00,335
Yes, we can.
343
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,283
Why does he keep repeating,
"Yes, we can?"
344
00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:06,311
into a positive? Yes, we can.
Of course we can.
345
00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:10,307
Taylor Jean, can we be one,
big loving family?
346
00:16:10,323 --> 00:16:12,347
Yes, we can.
Yes, we can!
347
00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:19,299
Why are we clapping?
Have we won something?
348
00:16:19,899 --> 00:16:21,734
Thank you, Brick.
Yes, thank you, Brick.
349
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:22,821
That was, um...
350
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,793
that was...
351
00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,765
special.
352
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,737
Hm... fantastic.
353
00:16:29,749 --> 00:16:32,373
So, where is Taylor Jean's real mum?
354
00:16:32,454 --> 00:16:33,490
Karen, now's not the time.
355
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:35,494
Hey, it's cool, Sue.
Kids need answers.
356
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:39,450
The answer, Karen, is that sadly
there are some mothers
357
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,454
so damaging that kids prosper
best without them.
358
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:45,442
Brick was amazing.
359
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:48,410
He just wouldn't stop fighting
for his kids. Wouldn't he?
360
00:16:48,426 --> 00:16:50,458
It was you coming on board that
clinched it with the judge.
361
00:16:50,474 --> 00:16:51,858
Hello?
362
00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,886
Taylor Jean is so much happier
363
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,947
now she doesn't have to go to
Tucson at weekends.
364
00:16:55,959 --> 00:16:56,995
I'm so much happier.
365
00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:59,043
Well, yes. Pete was naked.
366
00:16:59,959 --> 00:17:02,963
But he'd forgotten that Maisie
was staying overnight.
367
00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:06,019
Well, I'm sorry she's having trouble
sleeping, but...
368
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:10,007
Well, yes, he is quite hairy.
369
00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:13,007
At least it won't come as a shock to
her in later life, will it?
370
00:17:13,019 --> 00:17:15,039
No, sorry. Yeah.
371
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,979
Yeah. OK.
372
00:17:17,991 --> 00:17:19,027
Bye.
373
00:17:20,951 --> 00:17:22,015
Sue?
374
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:23,963
Please.
375
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:26,975
Another bottle of red, honey.
376
00:17:28,999 --> 00:17:31,955
Here we all are at San Diego Zoo.
377
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:35,027
In fact, it was Misty's giraffe poem
that won us the trip.
378
00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:37,023
Lovely. Didn't you used to think
379
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:40,023
that children got in the way
of being a free spirit?
380
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:43,019
God, no! What spirits could be freer
than the spirits of kids?
381
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:45,027
There's such wonderful energy
in a big family.
382
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:47,955
I know, it's great.
383
00:17:47,971 --> 00:17:50,043
Well, yeah, I mean,
you've got quite a big family, Sue,
384
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:54,975
but when there's seven of you,
believe me, that is a big family.
385
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,035
So, what shall we all have
for pudding?
386
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,967
Here we are in Hawaii.
Angie is the most phenomenal mother.
387
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:01,043
Both interactively
and as a role model.
388
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,031
She just never stops giving.
389
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:06,023
She's helped Misty overcome
her food issues.
390
00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:09,979
Is that Misty making the big splash
in the swimming pool?
391
00:18:09,991 --> 00:18:11,027
That's Dune.
392
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:13,039
Misty had issues with under-eating.
393
00:18:13,951 --> 00:18:14,987
The Banoffee pie looks very tasty.
394
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,015
Brick's ex put her under
so much gastric stress
395
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:19,015
that the poor child
had to have so many tests.
396
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,035
Did she have to have a camera
put up her bottom?
397
00:18:21,947 --> 00:18:22,983
That's what happened to Dad.
398
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,019
Turned out I have
diverticular disease.
399
00:18:28,035 --> 00:18:29,999
Very mildly.
Quite mildly.
400
00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:31,947
It's one of those syndromes
401
00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,959
which is present
in quite a few people his age.
402
00:18:33,975 --> 00:18:36,983
It's not a syndrome, it's a disease.
It's not a disease like leprosy.
403
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,963
No, but it is more serious
than a syndrome.
404
00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:42,011
15, tadger, 16, dangler...
405
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,959
Ben!
406
00:18:43,975 --> 00:18:45,007
17, pink bazooka.
Ben...
407
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:47,011
that behaviour is inappropriate.
408
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:49,975
I'm bored of that word.
409
00:18:49,991 --> 00:18:54,971
So, when you replaced her real mum,
what did you do with her real mum?
410
00:18:54,983 --> 00:18:56,019
Karen, stop it, it's not...
411
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,999
But it's not fair, none of
my questions get answered,
412
00:18:59,015 --> 00:19:01,987
and you still haven't got back to me
about the hitting.
413
00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:03,035
Hitting?
Yes.
414
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:07,007
They said they'd talk to me about
when I can hit this boy at school...
415
00:19:07,023 --> 00:19:09,979
Well, obviously, you can't.
We said that.
416
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:13,007
No, you didn't. You said I could hit
in a ladylike way.
417
00:19:13,023 --> 00:19:15,951
It's never right to hit,
not for children.
418
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,035
Then, how am I supposed to
stop someone
419
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:20,999
from constantly stealing
my sausage rolls?
420
00:19:21,015 --> 00:19:25,007
You get a court order stopping them
from coming within 50 miles.
421
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,003
Why don't you kids place a game
of Consequences or something?
422
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:35,007
Good idea, Hugh Grant.
423
00:19:35,023 --> 00:19:36,975
Actually, I don't sound much
like Hugh Grant.
424
00:19:36,991 --> 00:19:38,975
You do a bit, you've got
that charming,
425
00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,959
"Oh, ah, oh," thing going on.
426
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,023
No, I haven't.
427
00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:44,999
You do, you're doing it now.
It's charming.
428
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:46,947
OK, Jake?
429
00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:48,967
Oh, Jake, have I got something
on my face?
430
00:19:48,983 --> 00:19:50,967
You just sort of
keep staring at it,
431
00:19:50,979 --> 00:19:52,035
and so does your dad.
432
00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:53,991
No, your face is great.
433
00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:55,959
Well, it's OK.
434
00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:58,015
It's nicer than OK.
Right, right, yeah, thanks.
435
00:19:59,027 --> 00:20:02,027
I wish that guy with the ponytail
would look at my face now and then.
436
00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:05,979
Oh, I know. Some men just treat
women like they're slabs of meat.
437
00:20:05,991 --> 00:20:07,955
That's a very mature observation.
438
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,011
Oh, I'm quite mature, actually.
439
00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:11,995
I'd better...
Mm-hm.
440
00:20:15,979 --> 00:20:18,039
You should get Brick to do a session
with Karen about the hitting.
441
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:20,019
She doesn't need it.
You'd do that, wouldn't you?
442
00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:22,027
Sure, honey, they're family.
She's fine!
443
00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:24,967
He does this great game with the
kids where they platy hide-and-seek
444
00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:26,995
only they have to try and find
themselves.
445
00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:28,043
Find themselves?
Yeah.
446
00:20:28,959 --> 00:20:31,963
That'd be easy. You just look down,
and there you are.
447
00:20:31,979 --> 00:20:35,955
No, Karen. Sometimes you try
and find something inside you
448
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:37,027
that you didn't know was there.
449
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:39,007
Like a tapeworm?
450
00:20:39,019 --> 00:20:40,971
No, not like that.
451
00:20:40,987 --> 00:20:44,019
Like a spoon that you swallowed
by mistake, or...?
452
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,043
No, it's... She's very literal,
isn't she?
453
00:20:46,959 --> 00:20:50,003
We've all got dark places
inside our heads.
454
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,003
Well, of course we have.
455
00:20:52,019 --> 00:20:54,947
It's entirely dark unless we put,
like, a window
456
00:20:54,959 --> 00:20:56,963
or sawed the top of our head off.
457
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:58,011
Karen.
458
00:20:58,027 --> 00:21:00,975
And that wouldn't be very good
because then we'd die eventually.
459
00:21:00,991 --> 00:21:03,003
Well, it's like if you're
in a dark room
460
00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:06,987
and you put a plant in a dark room
and it never had any sunlight,
461
00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:08,955
it would grow all twisted
and tangled
462
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:10,019
and it wouldn't be good, so...
463
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:11,979
It wouldn't grow at all,
it would die.
464
00:21:11,991 --> 00:21:13,027
It might grow a tiny bit.
465
00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:15,955
Have you ever eaten
a tadpole for a bet?
466
00:21:15,967 --> 00:21:17,023
Yes.
467
00:21:17,039 --> 00:21:20,975
Have you ever... have you ever put
fish food in your dad's tea?
468
00:21:20,987 --> 00:21:22,023
Yeah.
469
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:24,023
Have you ever taken a seagull
into a hotel bedroom?
470
00:21:24,039 --> 00:21:27,951
Have you ever run away from home
and got as far as New Mexico?
471
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,011
Yeah.
472
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:33,027
You find that actually there are
hidden feelings inside all of us
473
00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:34,975
that we only have to acknowledge.
474
00:21:34,991 --> 00:21:36,035
You have to give these feelings
a name.
475
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:37,999
We need to say, "Bob,"
476
00:21:38,015 --> 00:21:41,039
if say we called these feelings Bob,
"Get back..."
477
00:21:41,955 --> 00:21:44,979
Why Bob, when you can call it
anything like Steve,
478
00:21:44,991 --> 00:21:47,963
or a girl's name like Lucy?
479
00:21:47,975 --> 00:21:49,031
Why do you have to call it Bob?
480
00:21:49,043 --> 00:21:50,979
Well, you could say, "Lucy, get..."
481
00:21:50,991 --> 00:21:52,027
It doesn't work for me.
482
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:56,979
Is this your job to just say stuff
like this?
483
00:21:56,995 --> 00:22:00,959
Trust me, it's a very useful...
Well, I don't trust you.
484
00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:03,967
Because you're just talking nonsense.
485
00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:06,003
Then, if you'll just listen to me
for two seconds.
486
00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:08,983
It's not something a child
necessarily understands,
487
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,031
but it is, it is something...
488
00:22:10,947 --> 00:22:13,043
But I do understand
what you're saying,
489
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,003
it's just it doesn't make any sense
because...
490
00:22:15,015 --> 00:22:16,951
Well, I think I am...
491
00:22:16,967 --> 00:22:18,991
I'm not entirely sure your technique
is going to work with Karen.
492
00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:21,983
She sure has a lot of defences.
Welcome to English repression.
493
00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:26,975
I really think we should order some,
some pudding and some coffee,
494
00:22:26,991 --> 00:22:28,967
because we've had quite a lot of
wine now.
495
00:22:28,979 --> 00:22:30,951
What does repression mean?
496
00:22:30,963 --> 00:22:31,999
Ah, excuse me.
497
00:22:32,015 --> 00:22:33,999
It's what everyone
in England does, Ben.
498
00:22:34,015 --> 00:22:35,979
Don't let out the anger
that's inside them.
499
00:22:35,995 --> 00:22:37,971
My mum lets out her anger.
Yeah, well...
500
00:22:37,987 --> 00:22:39,019
She kicked you up the...
Ben!
501
00:22:39,031 --> 00:22:40,999
And, she let out lots of anger
502
00:22:41,015 --> 00:22:44,019
when she found out that Daddy had
kissed a woman which isn't her.
503
00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:53,951
I'll... just give you a couple more
minutes to decide.
504
00:22:54,967 --> 00:22:56,031
You did what?
505
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:57,979
How do you know about that?
506
00:22:57,995 --> 00:22:59,039
We heard you and Dad
talking about it.
507
00:23:02,019 --> 00:23:06,995
OK, OK, everyone calm down.
508
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,043
It was just a stupid incident
that happened.
509
00:23:10,959 --> 00:23:13,039
And Pete is not having an affair
if that's what you're thinking.
510
00:23:13,951 --> 00:23:14,987
Stuff happens.
511
00:23:15,003 --> 00:23:17,979
We're animals dressed up in clothes
pretending not to be animals.
512
00:23:17,991 --> 00:23:20,955
Sometimes we forget to pretend.
513
00:23:20,971 --> 00:23:26,947
Look, stuff has not happened and I
think that we should all move on
514
00:23:26,963 --> 00:23:29,027
and I, for one,
am moving to the ladies.
515
00:23:30,027 --> 00:23:31,975
I'll just go see if she's OK.
516
00:23:31,991 --> 00:23:33,987
No, no. Actually, Angela,
I don't think that...
517
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:36,995
very good idea.
518
00:23:37,007 --> 00:23:39,995
Sue, I am so sorry.
519
00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:41,043
There's nothing to be sorry about.
520
00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:44,019
We're fine, really. Totally.
521
00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:46,983
Listen, Brick is a great therapist.
522
00:23:46,999 --> 00:23:48,983
In fact, you should get him
to talk to Pete.
523
00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:50,031
What about?
524
00:23:50,947 --> 00:23:51,979
Well, he's a licensed sex addiction
therapist.
525
00:23:51,991 --> 00:23:54,995
Pete? A sex addict?
526
00:23:55,011 --> 00:23:57,015
He can help you both
if you'll only let him in.
527
00:23:57,031 --> 00:23:59,955
You've got to think about what this
could do to the kids.
528
00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:03,031
The kid?! Last year you were saying
that kids turn you into a zombie,
529
00:24:03,947 --> 00:24:05,983
this year you're
Maria Von Bloody Trapp.
530
00:24:05,999 --> 00:24:08,959
You'll make plenty of mistakes
with Brick's children.
531
00:24:08,975 --> 00:24:11,019
I doubt I'll ever leave one of them
behind on a Scottish island.
532
00:24:11,031 --> 00:24:14,019
I thought Pete had him, OK?
533
00:24:15,959 --> 00:24:18,035
Look, let's just stop this
before we...
534
00:24:20,003 --> 00:24:22,975
I was merely expressing surprise
535
00:24:22,991 --> 00:24:25,967
that you've suddenly discovered
children are so wonderful.
536
00:24:25,983 --> 00:24:28,007
I found out
they all weren't like yours.
537
00:24:29,955 --> 00:24:31,003
You have no bullets.
538
00:24:33,035 --> 00:24:35,951
So, Hugh Grant,
539
00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:38,031
I thought you were one of these
pussy-whipped English guys.
540
00:24:39,031 --> 00:24:41,007
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
541
00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,043
You don't have to be sorry,
we're men.
542
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:47,007
As men, we are evolutionarily
hardwired
543
00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:50,991
to nail as many women as we can.
544
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:54,007
You'll get better at it.
545
00:24:54,019 --> 00:24:56,019
And then you won't get caught.
546
00:24:57,019 --> 00:24:58,967
What?!
547
00:24:58,983 --> 00:25:01,023
Everything OK?
Yeah.
548
00:25:01,039 --> 00:25:04,963
So, where's Angela then? She...
Still in the toilet.
549
00:25:04,975 --> 00:25:06,011
Right, but you haven't...
550
00:25:06,023 --> 00:25:08,043
So, any decisions about pudding?
551
00:25:08,959 --> 00:25:10,995
Why don't we just skip pudding
and get the bill?
552
00:25:11,007 --> 00:25:12,043
Ah, I'll get that, honey.
553
00:25:12,955 --> 00:25:14,035
That's kind, but let's split it.
554
00:25:16,039 --> 00:25:17,987
Everything all right?
Yes.
555
00:25:18,003 --> 00:25:20,019
That's me.
No, I said let's split it.
556
00:25:20,031 --> 00:25:22,015
You're on teachers' wages, I'll pay.
557
00:25:22,027 --> 00:25:23,963
I'd really rather you didn't.
558
00:25:23,979 --> 00:25:26,003
Ouch. Some low self-esteem issues
here.
559
00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:27,999
That's for you, good-looker.
560
00:25:29,951 --> 00:25:31,987
Don't play the therapist with me.
Pete.
561
00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:35,019
Pete's one of those guys who thinks
charlatans become psychotherapists.
562
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:37,015
And the Serbian war criminals.
Pete, just...
563
00:25:37,027 --> 00:25:38,963
Whoa, Hugh Grant.
564
00:25:38,979 --> 00:25:41,947
And if you call me Hugh Grant
one more time,
565
00:25:41,963 --> 00:25:44,027
I'm going to take your platinum
Visa card
566
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:47,043
and I'm going to shove it
right up your...
567
00:25:50,039 --> 00:25:52,003
I want my mum.
568
00:25:52,015 --> 00:25:53,999
It's all right, sweetie.
569
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,971
No, I want my real mum.
570
00:25:58,003 --> 00:26:00,955
I'll pop back in a tick.
571
00:26:03,043 --> 00:26:07,039
We need help fast. The triceratops
is having a heart attack.
572
00:26:07,955 --> 00:26:12,039
If Mum and Dad had a divorce,
who would you live with?
573
00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:13,987
Don't know.
574
00:26:14,003 --> 00:26:16,987
I mean, Maisie, well,
she lives with her mum
575
00:26:16,999 --> 00:26:18,987
and if she sees her dad coming,
576
00:26:19,003 --> 00:26:22,015
they have to press a button which
goes straight to the police.
577
00:26:22,027 --> 00:26:23,975
Do they fire rockets at him?
578
00:26:23,987 --> 00:26:25,023
I've got Ben's bin.
579
00:26:27,975 --> 00:26:30,039
Paper, paper.
580
00:26:30,951 --> 00:26:32,003
Plastic.
581
00:26:32,019 --> 00:26:34,003
God knows, but I don't like
the look of it.
582
00:26:36,947 --> 00:26:38,031
Are these Ben's pants?
Put them in the compost.
583
00:26:40,023 --> 00:26:43,971
Well, I didn't think the meal
would end up like that.
584
00:26:43,987 --> 00:26:47,043
Angie holding Brick back and
shouting, "He's not worth it."
585
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:49,963
Well, I told you all that stuff
he said about women.
586
00:26:49,979 --> 00:26:51,011
You're a well-known champion of
women's rights.
587
00:26:53,019 --> 00:26:55,007
I keep thinking about
those poor children.
588
00:26:55,019 --> 00:26:58,031
Poor fat Dune, poor thin Misty.
589
00:26:58,043 --> 00:27:00,979
Poor scary Taylor Jean.
590
00:27:00,991 --> 00:27:02,039
Oh, there are the car keys.
591
00:27:02,951 --> 00:27:03,991
Aunty Angela is his third wife.
592
00:27:04,007 --> 00:27:05,039
What?
Mm-hm.
593
00:27:05,955 --> 00:27:07,971
His second one is in
a clinical facility in Tucson.
594
00:27:07,987 --> 00:27:10,947
Well, who told you that?
Taylor Jean.
595
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,987
Brick doesn't allow her mum's name
to be spoken in the house.
596
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:14,975
Oh, poor Angela.
597
00:27:15,983 --> 00:27:17,031
God help her.
598
00:27:17,947 --> 00:27:22,031
It would be really hard to choose
because if you chose Dad,
599
00:27:22,043 --> 00:27:23,991
then you'd really miss Mum,
600
00:27:24,007 --> 00:27:26,003
and if you chose Mum,
then you'd really miss Dad,
601
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:30,983
so if they do get a divorce,
you'd have to choose.
602
00:27:30,999 --> 00:27:36,043
Listen, I just want you to know, your
dad and me, we're absolutely fine
603
00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:38,947
and we're going to stay together
604
00:27:38,963 --> 00:27:41,007
and so there's no need for you
to worry about anything.
605
00:27:41,023 --> 00:27:44,031
Isn't that right, Pete?
Yes!
606
00:27:44,043 --> 00:27:45,979
Absolutely.
607
00:27:45,995 --> 00:27:47,947
Now, go and clean your teeth,
you two,
608
00:27:47,963 --> 00:27:49,015
and we'll come up
and kiss you goodnight.
609
00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:57,039
You just did that to make them feel
better, didn't you?
610
00:27:57,951 --> 00:27:59,951
No, Jake, I didn't.
611
00:27:59,963 --> 00:28:01,971
I mean, did you see that lot today?
612
00:28:01,987 --> 00:28:04,959
It made me grateful
for what I've got.
613
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,963
I love your dad,
and if he's done something wrong,
614
00:28:07,979 --> 00:28:11,027
then it might take me a few days
but I'll forgive him.
615
00:28:12,975 --> 00:28:14,995
So why don't you go
and get ready for bed too?
616
00:28:17,043 --> 00:28:19,007
Ah! You owe me a quid, Dad.
617
00:28:19,019 --> 00:28:21,003
For the ponytail? I paid you.
618
00:28:21,015 --> 00:28:22,951
No, for the low self-esteem.
619
00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:25,035
He got in a couple just before
he asked you to step outside.
620
00:28:25,947 --> 00:28:26,983
Did you google him?
621
00:28:26,999 --> 00:28:28,991
Come on, Dad, there's not many
therapists in Phoenix
622
00:28:29,003 --> 00:28:30,959
called Brick Bollinger.
623
00:28:30,975 --> 00:28:33,039
I specialise
in low self-esteem issues.
624
00:28:33,951 --> 00:28:34,987
Yeah, well, that's not fair.
625
00:28:35,003 --> 00:28:37,015
Well, you know, the gas explosion
in Casualty wasn't fair, Dad.
626
00:28:37,031 --> 00:28:39,975
Don't mess with the googling
generation.
627
00:28:42,003 --> 00:28:43,951
Thank you for that just now.
628
00:28:45,738 --> 00:28:46,670
For the forgiveness.
629
00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:48,636
You didn't believe me, did you?
630
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:56,100
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
631
00:28:56,150 --> 00:29:00,700
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
48806
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof