All language subtitles for Magnum P.I. s05e13 Professor Jonathan Higgins.eng

You're Cousin Higgins.

Pull me a beer, love,
let me sit on me tush before I bloody drop.

Oh, my God.

Higgins has really been
looking forward to your visit.

He wants to work me over.
You think I should let him do it?

But I can't tell you
all he's done for me

I, I, I, I, I...
I, I, I, I, I, I, I...

Stop! You and I have
a communication problem.

I am simply trying
to help Sally have what she desires,

Mr. Timothy Finch.

If you talk to Mrs. Finch
in your own words...

I'm sick of the whole
confused, posh, snooty, bloody lot of you.

We've been working
on the bake sale

All the live long day

Boom, boom, boom

We've been working
on the bake sale

Just to take the dough away

For the I.B. A

Well, I still
can't believe it!

From date-nut puffs
to our hospital fund goal in just 90 days!

Thanks to our treasurer's
shrewd investment of our bake sale profit.

No, no, Sydney,
I was just lucky to find the highest yield.

And I insist that you,
as president,

present our check
to the hospital.

No, indeed!
This is your day.

I'm only here
to take the pictures.

Oh, my goodness.

Would you look at the crowd!

All our membership
said they'd be here

You get out ahead, Agatha.

We don't want to steal
your thunder.

Miss Chumley?

You represent
this Island Benevolence Association?

Well, I'm the treasurer.

We're here to collect
our investment to present it to the hospital.

Yes, I know.

Miss Chumley, I'm Frank Ohmar,
SeaShare Condominiums.

We rented
the Eden Valley Investments' office last Friday.

They're no longer here.
They went bankrupt.

Bankrupt?
But where did they go?

They have our $10,000!

If you save it
for special occasions,

getting up early is fun.
It's a once-a-month ritual

I watch
a perfect paradise sunrise, count the rainbows

and beat Higgins
to the mailbox.

I love getting mail, any kind.

The very fact that somebody,
somewhere, licked a stamp just for me

is reassuring.

Unfortunately,
most of those stamps are licked by a nasty guy

who signs his name,
"Past Due."

But that's
the great thing about mail. Just when you least expect it,

your own special delivery
stamp of approval!

I won! Higgins!

Higgins!

I did it! I did it!

Yes, Magnum,
you collected the mail all by yourself.

We're very proud of him,
aren't we, lads?

No! That's mine!

Higgins, I got fourth place.

The fourth best
Mrs. Perroni's Frozen Pizza slogan in the entire nation!

I'm numb with awe.

I get a weekend for two
at Disney World!

You'll be leaving
right away, I trust.

Procrastination is unthinkable
when one has the opportunity

of personally meeting
David Duck.

Donald Duck.
And this certificate is good for one year.

Will you quit trying
to get me off the estate?

Higgins, I already promised
I would not bug your Aunt Sally. All right?

Cousin Sally,
five times removed. A remote family tie,

but one I take
great pride in claiming.

Although I've never met her,
I'm sure that Sally Ponting

is a very refined
and well-bred young woman.

And while you do have
certain redeeming traits,

I'm afraid
that your plebeian tastes

and abrasive bombasity
might offend her.

It's not fair!

I'm sorry,
but it's the way I feel.

They're not gonna provide
transportation!

I have to pay my own way
to Florida. Some prize!

Sally will be staying here
until the wedding.

You will please refrain
from visiting the main house for the duration.

Yes, yes, yes! I heard you!

I won't go
near the main house.

I won't be abrasive
to your Cousin Sally,

and I will never ever again
eat Mrs. Perroni's Frozen Pizza!

Agatha, what on earth
is the matter?

Oh, Jonathan,
I've been to fool's paradise!

And I need a cup of tea

I'm solely responsible
for the loss.

I just wanted
the highest interest possible on the I.B.A.'s profits.

Have you considered
replacing the money?

Jonathan,
$10,000 with interest?

Besides, replacing it
isn't going to reinstate me as a trustworthy treasurer.

No, either the missing funds
are located quickly,

or I resign my post.

Agatha,
there is the possibility

that the condominium salesman
was mistaken about the Eden Valley bankruptcy.

I do have
some hope of that.

Yes. After you've slept
we'll have another chat with him,

verify his sources
and proceed from there.

No!

Jonathan, you've
so much on your plate at this moment.

Your cousin's arrival,
the wedding, her party...

I'll manage.
You've come for my help, and you shall have it.

Okay, Agatha! I'm ready

Oh!

What was the address
of that mobile home?

You hired Magnum

while I was steeping the tea?

Jonathan,
please don't be upset.

And I'm just to stand by
and watch you make another questionable investment?

Oh, dear.

We didn't discuss that part.

What's your usual fee,
Mr. Magnum?

A round-trip ticket
to Florida.

It's not only a chance
at a dream vacation,

you actually become
one of the owners of a luxury condo.

Go on, pick a gift
just for coming by.

Really?

Tell me, how much
would you normally spend, say, on a two-week vacation?

Oh, about $1,000.
Does this popcorn popper really work on batteries?

Yeah, isn't that something?

You know, you give me
half of that thousand as a down,

you've got
your own vacation resort, one week a year for life.

Well, fine.
I'll take 20 of them.

If you can tell me
where to find what's left of Eden Valley Investments.

They got my last $10,000.

How many investors
could one fly-by-night operation have?

Look, we never heard
of that outfit before we rented this place, okay?

Who do you rent from?

I'm sure
they could tell for sure if Eden Valley went bankrupt.

Good question.
We're on our third landlord this month.

Magnum, what's that
terrible noise?

Is something wrong
with the Ferrari?

No! I need
to speak to Agatha.

We're late
leaving for the airport to collect Sally.

Is it urgent?

Well, just tell her
the whole thing smells of a con.

Eden Valley Investments
was owned by a company called Future Times, Inc.

Which also happened
to go bankrupt.

And Future Times
was a subsidiary of another company

which happened to go bank...
Just a minute, Higgins.

Boy, that sucker
really works! Now, stop!

Stop? Stop what?

No. It's not you, Higgins.

I just overfilled it.

Anyway, I'm up to
this company called Tee-Mar.

No bankruptcies yet, but...

Come on, cut it out now!

No suspicious
activities at all.

No address, no phone numbers,
no...

No off-switch!
How do you shut it off?

By saying goodbye.

No! Wait! Higgins!

That man is slowly driving me
out of my mind.

What did he have to say?

Nothing. He kept muttering
some incoherent gibberish

about having some gadget
that exposes bankrupt companies,

and apparently
he'd over programmed it.

Where are my keys?
This is absurd! I never misplace my keys.

I'm never late,
and now on this, of all occasions, I...

Jonathan.

And actually,
we've plenty of time before the plane arrives.

Jonathan, you really
must relax.

Yes, forgive me, I...

Agatha,
Sally Ponting's stay here means a great deal to me.

Although I've not met
this young lady,

I greatly admired
the Ponting family, as a boy.

Their elegance,
their social poise, gentility...

They were
an inspiration to me.

And now that a Ponting
is coming to visit,

it's imperative
that everything be perfect.

Do you understand?

Yes?

Hey, brah! Got a fare out here
for this address.

Miss Ponting.

We're off
to a flying start, aren't we?

Now, Jonathan,
her plane was probably early.

Planes are never early.

Here. You're Cousin Higgins.

I took me a cheaper flight.

Oh, pull me a beer, love,
let me sit on me tush before I bloody drop.

Oh, my God.

I think you've got me
mixed up

with them posh Pontings
in Kent, Higgins.

Yes, well...

I was not aware that
there were two

separate and distinct
Ponting branches.

Yeah! Separate is right!

We've got nothing
to do with them stuck-up cousins.

That snooty Rory Ponting
insulted me dad once.

He says,

"Wally, why don't you come
down here to Kent, and be my gardener?"

Well, you know
what me dad did?

He picks up this funny-Iooking
Chinese pitcher of Rory's...

Oh, rather like this one.

And he aims it right
at Rory's...

Please! Don't throw that.

It's priceless.

That's what Rory said!
How did you know?

Sally, wouldn't you like
to sit and have some tea?

Don't bother, Higgins,
I'll make meself useful.

Milk and sugar?

Is that a popular hairstyle?

You like it?

I'm not sure. I think
I like lavender better,

but, yeah, orange and black
is definitely in.

Sally, I'm intrigued

to know the details
of your meeting and courtship

with Mr. Timothy Finch.

Timmy? Isn't he a love?

He was a regular
in a pub where I pull.

I beg your pardon.
Where you what?

Pull, Higgins. You know,
pull the drafts? Work.

The Golden Guinea.

He'd been, like, flirting
with me for months.

And one night he drank
his weight in bitters,

and he flat out
asked me if I was free after closing time.

Well, him and me
really hit it off.

So, I took him
home to breakfast,

and he asked
for me hand in marriage

right there at the table
over me mum's kippers.

I presume you know

your fiancé
has been called back to his London office.

Well, of course I know.
Timmy calls me every day.

You know, with his money,
he could have picked some posh bird.

But he wanted a nice,
simple, down-to-earth lass like meself.

Yes.

But, I'm afraid, Sally,

that to Mr. Finch's family,
to his friends,

his mother, you may come
as something of a surprise.

He didn't discuss this
with you?

Discuss what with me?

Sally, the Finches are...

Well, they follow
the more established codes,

as regards social behavior
and appearance.

Yes.

Your attire,
while it may be all the rage with your peer group,

would be most offensive
to Mrs. Finch.

Well, I guess she'll have to
get used to me,

'cause I just told you,
Timmy likes me like I am.

And we've just told you
that his social group will not accept you as you are.

Is that what you want?
To have the marriage canceled

and to find yourself
returning to London in disgrace?

And what would I have to do
to make them like me?

A bleeding
posh put-on, I suppose.

Well, I won't do it!

We're merely suggesting
a few minor modifications in your presentation.

Sally, whether you like it
or not, you're marrying into high society,

and you must abide
by their rules.

Timmy should've told me
what I was getting into.

I don't want his friends
laughing at him or me.

They will, Sally.
I'm sorry, but they simply won't understand.

You know what to do then,
Higgins? To fix me?

With Agatha's assistance
in your tutoring,

and no distractions here
to dissipate our efforts,

yes, I feel confident
that we can...

Higgins.

Mr. Magnum!

Hi, guys. Popcorn?

I don't mind if I do.

Here now, you're a bit
of all right, ain't you?

Sally?

What? I mean...
I think you're charming.

I think...

Sally.

I thought we had
an understanding.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being
abrasive to Cousin Sally?

I was speaking of your vow
to refrain from visiting the main house.

Oh, fine. I just have to talk
to Agatha for a minute.

It's about
an extra plane ticket.

See, Rick's doing some
work for me... Here, you a mate of Higgins?

In a manner of speaking.
Thomas Magnum.

Oh, charmed.

Higgins has really been
looking forward to your visit.

Yeah, to have
a bleeding pet project.

He wants to work me over
so I'm presentable to Timmy's posh bunch.

You think I should
let him do it?

I shouldn't get involved.

But I can't tell you
all he's done for me.

Well, there's
a slight improvement, but it's hardly sufficient.

What on earth can be done
about her hair?

I suppose you think I can
wash me fashion color out.

Well, I can't, so there!

Sally, you're forgetting
our extensive discussion about your "I's."

No, I'm not.
I took all me shadow off, and I feel naked!

I'm talking about
the sound, "I," remember?

Take your "ah," add "E,"
and make them one.

Ah-e, ah-e, ah-e, ah-e,

I, I, I, I, I.

Ah-e.

Ah-e.

Ah-e. Ah-e.
Ah-e. Ah-e.

Ah-e. Ah-e.
Ah-e. Ah-e.

Ah-e, ah-e, ah-e, ah-e,
Ah-e, ah-e, ah-e, ah-e,

I, I, I, I, I...
I, I, I, I, I, I, I...

Stop! You and I have
a communication problem.

You know that?

You and I have
a communication problem.

Yes, Jonathan, she already
made that point.

But she made it properly.
Sally, say it again.

"You and I have..."

Have what?
"A communication problem."

I know that. Who's arguing?
No, just say it.

I know that. Who's arguing?

You did it again!

You told me to!

"You and I have."

"You and I have."
You used a proper "I," you used an "H."

Here, do it with me.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You and I have.

You and I have.
You have I have. You...

I can't do it! I can't!

I can't keep me "H" up.

I can't be
bloody Rory Ponting, not even put-on, like.

When Timmy calls,
I'm telling him the wedding's off,

and then I'm going
home tonight!

I'm sorry. I got carried away
with your progress.

And there has been
progress, Sally.

We should keep on working.
You needn't lose Mr. Finch.

The party isn't
until tomorrow afternoon.

We can stay up
all night and work.

Unless, of course,
you'd rather go home

and retreat
to the polite society of the Golden Guinea.

Hey, I just want proof
that I'm going!

Okay, fine. You call Agatha
and ask her yourself.

She's covering
your ticket to Florida if we break the case.

If we break the...

Thomas, you told me
that all I had to do to get to Disney World

was find this place!

Any idea
why Tee-Mar doesn't seem to wanna be found?

All I know is that
those people buy hot typewriters.

And all
the hot typewriter lady knows is that

nobody is around here
to pay the bill.

"Mrs. Perroni's for
a thick slice of life?"

You won fourth place for that?

Can you believe they found
three better slogans?

Okay.

You stay here and yell
if you see anybody coming.

You shouldn't have
snooped around so much.

Ten grand's not worth it.

Lesson one
in planning a good get-up-early day.

You're going to be
very sleepy by noon,

so limit
exciting surprises to two.

Today, of course,
had had far too many.

My good surprise,
Agatha's bad surprise,

Higgins' prize cousin
with the surprisingly orange hair.

And my not-so-surprising hunch
that the missing 10,000

was a tiny part
of a gigantic swindle.

Take a few hundred
small investments,

float them in a sea
of endless corporations,

and somebody
finally ends up with several nicely washed millions.

Friendly Frank Ohmar
had just become somebody.

I had a few questions
for him about the "F.O." Initials on that note,

about the proper use
of my corn-popper,

and about why I was set up
with a surprise visitor at Tee-Mar.

Surprise!

What do you think
of our young lady now, Jonathan?

Yes, well, you've
certainly worked wonders since yesterday,

but her hair
still isn't right.

Here! We've rubbed our hands
raw getting me fashion out.

What in bloody hell
you want?

That is to say,

it was a painful
and tedious process removing my orange aura.

We had so hoped
that you'd be pleased.

As a last resort,

Mr. Rickie is upstairs
with a most attractive brown wig.

Well, let's try that.

And, Jonathan,
Sally really must get dressed.

Yes, Agatha, I know.
We'll only be a moment.

Now then, Sally,
one more time, please.

I'm very pleased
to meet you, Mrs. Finch.

Timmy...

Timothy has...

Has told me
so much about you.

MRS. FINCH:
Yes, well, I'm finally glad to meet you, Miss Ponting.

Timothy has told me nothing
of my future daughter-in-law.

Where do you reside
in England, dear?

Kent.

My father, Rory,
has a country estate

with priceless Chinese vases.

Really? I was born
and reared in Kent.

Fifteen years in the Islands
may have dulled my ear to regional dialects,

but I have never heard
any accent quite like yours.

Now, now, Sally,

you should
never be embarrassed by the Boxley Brogue.

The Boxley...

Boxley Girls'
Finishing School.

The elocution teacher there
is renowned but unorthodox.

Were any of the Royal Family
attending Boxley while you were there, Sally?

No, I just missed them.

Dear old Boxley.

Surely you remember it,
Mrs. Finch.

Oh... Why, yes.

Yes, of course.

Another champagne,
Miss Ponting?

Thank you.

Well,

I'm sure you ladies
would like to discuss wedding plans.

I'll see to the other guests

Can you imagine
the confusion?

My father and the lead hound
on the hunt

both being named Rory?

Isn't Sally charming,
Mrs. Finch?

Oh, my, yes.

But then I've never met
a Boxley Girl who wasn't.

Oh, you're a lovely
young lady, Sally.

I believe we're going to be
very close friends.

One more, Miss Ponting?

Thank you.

My, what beautiful hair
you have.

Thank you.

But it isn't mine.

Mine's the sweaty mess
underneath

My poor mother had to wear
a wig for months once

while her hair grew out.

You see, in her younger days,

the beehive hairdo
was all the rage.

Well, mum's cost her
a week's pay,

so she didn't wanna
give it up. Babied it forever.

Well, would you believe
that real bees took up a nest in it before mum knew it?

They had to shave her bald
to get them out.

Warm wine's all right
but not on a hot day.

I know, Mrs. Finch.
What we need is a cooling Midnight Blitz!

Jonathan!

Jonathan!

It was an unusually cool day
for southern India,

and our battalion had
just encountered...

Jonathan! May I speak
with you, please?

Yes, Agatha, in a moment.
Our battalion...

Jonathan, now!
Get your lungs ready. One, two, three, four.

Anytime you're Lambeth way

Any evening, any day

You'll find yourself

Doing the Lambeth walk. Oye!

Everything's free and easy

Do as you darn well pleasey

Why don't you
make your way there?

Go there, stay there

Anytime you're Lambeth way

Any evening, any day

You'll find yourself

Doing the Lambeth walk. Oye!

All right, then!

Midnight Blitzes
over here.

And you teetotalers
can tote your tea over here.

Here, Higgins, we did
all that work for nothing.

These people like me
just the way I am.

I have a call in
to Timothy, in London.

I'm officially
canceling the wedding.

Without Timothy and Sally
having any say in the matter?

My son can be
very impulsive, particularly when he's drinking.

I'm sure when he hears
of this afternoon's fiasco,

he'll agree with my decision.
Good night.

Mrs. Finch,

what you saw before Sally's
unfortunate relapse

was the result of only
two days' work.

With her desire and quickness,
these last three days could bring miracles.

This is not the Olympics,
Mr. Higgins.

It's my son's marriage.

Precisely. A marriage
both he and Sally want.

It does seem
worth an effort before facing the embarrassment

of canceling the wedding
or an elopement.

Very well, I shall meet
with Miss Ponting a day before the wedding.

At that time,
for all appearances,

I expect to meet
a true Boxley girl!

I must confess
to eavesdropping, Jonathan.

One more disgrace
at this point seems minimal.

I thought you'd gone home.

I've been up with Sally.
She's very upset.

Yes, well, of course
it's impossible

to get her ready
in two days' time,

but I must try,
even in the light of today's poor judgment.

I feel just as hopeless
about Mr. Magnum finding the money.

But we can't give up.

No.

Not if we're ever to look
Island society

or family members
in the face again.

Tomorrow morning, then?

Mrs. Finch, I can only
beg your forgiveness

for my outrageous conduct
of last Saturday.

And as your son
is quite dear to me,

I humbly request
that the wedding

be allowed to take place
on schedule.

Bloody hell!

It's you.

That is not Sally talking,
it's Jonathan Higgins or Henry Higgins.

I beg your pardon.

You're doing to Sally
exactly what Rex Harrison did to Audrey Hepburn.

My Fair Lady.

You're using her
as a guinea pig

for your own
self-indulgent experiment.

If there were
a comparison to be made,

it would be
what Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree did to Mrs. Patrick Campbell

in a G.B. Shaw classic
entitled, Pygmalion. But there is none.

I am simply trying
to help Sally have what she desires,

Mr. Timothy Finch.

Are you?

Magnum, why are you here?

I have to talk to Agatha.

Look, Sally,

you just relax
and be yourself, okay?

If you talk to Mrs. Finch
in your own words...

Why don't I tell
the old bag that

I'm sick of the whole
confused, posh, snooty, bloody lot of you.

I'll ask you
for the last time to stop interfering.

Yes, Mr. Magnum, really.

Wouldn't your time
be better spent looking for the I.B.A.'s money?

I have been looking.
I just got the run-around

from my third quiet,
little investment firm.

You interrupted my progress
with Sally to reiterate this corporate scheme nonsense?

Yes. I mean, come on,
it wasn't nonsense

to the guy who tried
to have me killed.

I just know
if I can get one more look at the Tee-Mar files,

I can prove that
half the small investors on this Island

are getting burned,
and I need help to do it.

Now, Agatha, how far
do you want me to go to find this money?

Oh, dear.

Do I have to go
to Florida again?

A ticket for T.C.

Higgins, I know
that there's something in these files

that'll show that
this last name on the memo,

this Western Shelter outfit,
is the big umbrella company.

Now, I'd check it out myself,
but the address is in

San Diego.
- San Diego.

Really, Magnum.
Western Shelter Corporation is a very respectable firm.

Mr. Masters has several
investments with them.

Small investments?

The kind that Robin wouldn't
worry about too much

if it got lost
in a bankruptcy?

Mr. Masters will pay
for one ticket to Florida.

Now all of you
can meet David Duck.

Coach excursion rate.

T. C: That wasn't the deal.

Come on,
at least you're on the plane.

What happened
to first-class airfare?

What happened
to my expenses?

And my hotel room?

I couldn't push it, T.C.

Besides, I'm not asking you
to do much for the ticket.

Trivia question.

What is the penalty
for impersonating a government official?

The prison terms vary.

Look, T.C.,
there's hardly anyone in there but one little secretary.

We'll be in and out
in five minutes,

and we'll be in Disney World
for five days, hmm?

Internal Revenue Service?

Right.

Just a couple of questions.

There seems to be
some confusion

about your employer's
ID request form.

Speaking of ID,
do you have any?

I guess you haven't
dealt with people from my office before.

We don't carry ID.

We dealt with the I.R.S.
Just the other day.

That guy made an appointment.
He had ID.

Okay, this is so embarrassing.

T. C: My kid...

She tore up my ID card
just this very morning.

But you can call
and check me out. I'm I.R.S.

Yes, we will.

We're only in today
because we were expecting a guy in a red Ferrari

to pay us a visit.

Red Ferrari?
Yeah. You know him?

No.

I mean, I don't know
anyone that classy.

Look, it's obvious
that I've caught you at a bad time,

so I'll be leaving.

Hold it right there!

Thomas? Tom?

Let's go!

See? What'd I tell you,
T. C? In and out in five.

It is all here!
Computer printouts for all the companies...

Magnum.
...for Eden Valley investments to Western Shelter,

and 818 at the top!
Thomas!

At first I thought
it was a typo, but it's not!

It's the name of a company.

The company!
Will you forget about that,

and let's get
the hell out of here? What's your hurry?

Sally,
we're going to be late.

You look stunning.
Congratulations.

I was just about
to say the same.

Yes.

Let's hope
Timothy is as pleased with your transformation

as his mother was.

He called last night
after he arrived.

I'm afraid he still feels
the whole thing was a bit unnecessary,

but he's glad
that she's pleased.

I'm sure he'll be quite proud
when he sees his Boxley girl.

Pity that I can never be quite
as posh as those Boxley ladies Mrs. Finch knew in England.

Sally, there is
no Boxley Finishing School.

Oh, thank you, Higgins.

Shall we go?

Higgins, are you proud of me?

Honestly?

Very proud, indeed,
Cousin Sally.

You're a tribute
to the Ponting name.

Where is the groom?

I don't know.
I'll have a look outside.

Where's the groom?

Oh, the groom isn't here?

I don't understand...

The best man
left Timothy talking on the telephone in the vestry.

He apparently received
this urgent phone call just before the service,

and when the best man asked
if the processional should start, he said yes,

that he'd only be a moment.

That's the last
anyone saw of him.

Mr. Finch
has to be in some kind of terrible trouble.

There's no other explanation.

No.

Magnum, if you would consider
for Sally's sake

investigating Timothy's
disappearance, I would be most grateful.

Well, I...

Well, I didn't even get
a chance to tell you,

I think I finally have
something on Agatha's case.

Please, Mr. Magnum.
We can't allow that to be of first priority now.

Do you have Finch's address?

818 Honawi Terrace,
the ground floor apartment.

Well, yeah.
I'll go take a look.

Thank you, Magnum.

Right.

Jonathan, I'll gladly stay.

I mean, Sally might need me
when she wakes.

Sally's all right.

It isn't fair.

You've worked so hard.

You're a good, kind sort,
you know that?

I appreciate everything
you've done.

I'm leaving in the morning,
Higgins, 10:00 plane.

Sally, I really don't think
that's wise at this point.

There may be some very simple
and logical explanation

for Timothy's behavior.

Has anyone considered
the possibility that Timmy

simply and logically
changed his mind about me?

If that had been the case,
he would have told you.

Gentlemen don't leave ladies
standing at the altar.

I told you, this gentleman had
all the posh ones he wanted.

So what do we do?

Fix him up
with another posh bird.

Rory Ponting in a dress.

You're right.

I should never have
asked you to become, in a matter of days,

something you've spent
years loathing.

You didn't ask, Higgins.
That's the point.

Thomas was right.

I saw that Fair Lady flick.

We just both tried
to make me over for all the wrong reasons.

But we accomplished
a great deal.

What does it matter...
It matters,

'cause I don't loathe it.

Yeah, I like
what I've learned.

But now I've got no choice
but to go back to the Golden Guinea

and not be as satisfied
pulling the drafts.

See, that Sally was happy
with her orange hair and her fashion

'cause that's who she was,
or said she was.

Now,

how am I supposed to say
who I am with half of both worlds to pick from?

I'm sorry if I confused you.

I truly felt
that I was helping you to reach your goal

of marrying Mr. Finch.

I didn't do it
for that, Higgins.

It's not Timmy I'm missing.
It's me.

Oh, I loved him,
but then I realized

it was just his posh
I wanted.

Look, you've helped me a lot,
all right?

We just both forgot to ask,
that's all.

You never asked if it was
all right to fix me,

and I never asked meself
if it was really what I wanted.

I understand.

But, Sally, please,

you can't return
to that life in London.

If you stay here,
we can continue...

No. No. You don't understand.

There is nothing to continue.

Sally...

Robin Masters' estate.

I beg your pardon?

It's Timothy.

I once read about
two long lost sisters

who had spent 20 years
looking for each other.

They both happened to be
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on the same weekend

and collided into each other
at an intersection.

I had just such a collision
at 818 Honawi.

The improbable had become
a real problem,

and I had to deal with it.

I finally had the proof to
break the investment swindle.

But I had to figure
that Sally had a breaking point as well.

Maybe even Higgins.

And it was going to be
hard to hit them with this last big surprise.

The two sisters recovered
and lived happily ever after in Tulsa,

but I couldn't think of
a way for this one to have a happy ending.

Higgins.

Magnum?

What are you all doing here?

What are we doing here,
Higgins?

Mr. Finch called.
He really does care for Sally.

I drove her here so that
he could explain about the wedding.

Did he also explain that
Frank here made the phone call to the church

and told him to go
into hiding in a hurry?

How did you find us?

Well, I finally remembered
you can't move these things with a pickup truck.

Frank.

I don't understand.
You introduced yourself as Leonard.

Higgins, please,
this is Frank Ohmar.

He and Finch are the big guys
in this insurance scam, the 818 Company.

A very quiet
international giant run from Finch's apartment.

I found all the proof
in his files. - That's impossible.

Timothy Finch is
one of the wealthiest men in the island.

And it takes a lot of
ingenuity to become that rich, Mr. Higgins.

Please, all of you,
move away from the door.

I've explained everything
to Sally,

and she's leaving with me.

Sally, why?

Like I told you, Higgins,
I loves Timmy,

and I didn't go through
all your messing around just to lose him now.

Sorry to leave you
with this problem, Frank,

but I'm sure that
you can handle it.

Let's have it.

He really could be a love

when he was drinking.

A glass of sherry, please.

That posh stuff
will kill you, Higgins.

Better have a draft.

I'm very glad
you decided to stay.

Yeah, well, like I said,
I need a bit of both worlds right now.

Working here keeps me
Golden Guinea half satisfied

while the rest of me
finds out who I am.

I don't know much
for sure yet,

but it's a fact
I'll never be quite what I was.

Likewise.

Hey, Sally, congratulations
on your new job. Hey!

Oh, hello, boys.

We all came by
just to kick off the new day.

Well, have a drink on me.

I'll have a coffee, here.
I'll have a brandy.

A beer.
All right.

We are also here
to celebrate the fact

that Mrs. Perroni's
Florida Tour

leaves in exactly
one month from today.

Higgie baby,
you and Agatha can order the plane tickets.

Oh, that reminds me.

This came in the morning mail
for you, Magnum.

Hold your breath, T.C.
With that slogan of his, it could be one big mistake.

For your information,
I have been upgraded a spot.

They found out
the third place slogan was a direct quote from Dickens.

All right!
Wait a minute.

Is the prize better?

A vacation for four!

All expenses paid
including airfare!

Four to Disney World!

No. Waikiki.

Waikiki?
Waikiki?

Here now, that's right
close down the road here, isn't it, love?

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