All language subtitles for MSW s03e15 Murder.eng

[Woman]
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

Are you a reporter?
Crime is my beat. Murder my specialty.

- The story is dead. D-E-A-D.
- I understand dead.

What wasn't a blur
is a complete blank.

A bronze apple core
belong to David Eisenhower.

Sweetheart,
not again tonight. I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.

That's you if you put on
any show about my bears.

I'm gonna make you a star.

[Jessica]
Is that your solution? To kill me?

And down goes another
of our valiant men in blue.

A victim,
a victim of misplaced faith.

Thank God that
this was not a real tragedy,

but, rather, a graphic demonstration
of self-serving exaggeration.

And yes, even fraud,

and a courtesy of the Acme
Bulletproof Vest Company,

who claim that their product
can withstand a.45 caliber slug.

Well, Clare, let's show our viewers
the tragic results of this impartial test.

Had this flimsy protection been
worn by one of Denver's finest,

that bullet would have ripped
through the vest and into the che-

Mr. Chambers.
Look, not a scratch.

- What?
- The vest. It really works.

Cut. Cut the cameras.
[Bell Ringing]

Look, are you people
all incompetent or what?

Look, I blow 10 holes in 10 vests,
and the damn thing works!

When we do it for the camera,
the damn thing works! Now where the hell is Ryan?

Look, would someone
get me a cannon?

I want something that will
blow a hole in that thing.

Steve, damn it. Can't you do
something about these lights? They're burning a hole in my head.

Don't tell me. "Go find Ryan."

Murray, you wanna bring the lights down
before the prima donna's head melts off or somebody blows it off.

Ryan.

See you later, babe.

If you're through notching your bedpost,
why don't you zip up your brain and get back to work?

What? Is the Great One
having another temper tantrum?

Mr. Chambers needs you. Now!

- No. What he needs is a good swift kick.
- Move it, Romeo.

[Plane Departing]

[Woman]
I can't believe it's been seven years since the wedding.

And your dance marathon
with my crazy Uncle Buck. [Laughs]

If Steve hadn't rescued me,
my feet would still be hurting.

- How is your dear husband?
- Well, nobody said the honeymoon would last forever.

- Oh, don't like the sound of that.
- Oh, we're muddling through, Jess.

But I can sum up the problem
in two words: Kenneth Chambers.

Steve produces
his program.

Chambers?
Oh, yes, I remember, you wrote me about him.

A compulsive egomaniac suffering
from delusions of grandeur?

That was last month.
These days he's even worse.

I think Steve would like
to quit his job, but then there'd be two of us out of work.

Well, you could always
reestablish your practice.

Most of my patients have
scattered to other psychiatrists.

Besides, it'd be like...
stepping backwards.

Oh, look, enough about my troubles.
Steve can't wait to see you,

and I can't tell you how delighted he is
that you're going to guest on his new book review program.

[Laughing] Well, anyone who would
rescue me from your Uncle Buck deserves my lifelong gratitude.

[Sighs]
This is the rough footage we got with Flannigan.

The Acme vest?
Well, it's cumbersome.

I mean, I wouldn't put it
on my dog if I expected him to fetch the paper.

But, uh, in a dangerous situation,
it's the most effective product I've ever seen.

[Clicks Off]
Boring testimonial stuff, right?

Now, take a look at this next one.
I had our boys do a little bit of editing.

[Flannigan]
The Acme vest?

In a dangerous situation,
I wouldn't put it on my dog. [Clicks Off]

Kenneth, that's unethical.

It's brilliant.
Look, who cares?

I care.
Gee, that's not fair.

Kenneth, there isn't a
South American coup that can match the one I just pulled off.

The Hammet Cheese tapes.
They're all we need to throw Hammet into the fondue as it were.

That story's dead.
What do you mean, dead?

I spent weeks
digging up this evidence. It's all here.

Watch my lips, Lynnette.
The story is dead. D-E-A-D.

You do understand dead, don't you?

I understand dead.

Oh, thanks...
for all your support, Steve.

[Coughs]
Got a minute for a famous author?

Jessica! Oh, my gosh.
You look great.

Oh, I would have been at
the airport, but things have got a little crazed around here.

I know, a show a week,
ready or not. Believe me, I know all about deadlines.

[Laughing]
Hiya, honey. Hiya, honey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Not this stuff again, please.

Jayne, when are you gonna
dump this loser and run off with a certified winner like me?

When you get a new line.
Rob, I believe you have met Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, yes. At the wedding.
As I remember, you were the life of the party, Mr. Warren.

Oh, well, forgive me,
Mrs. Fletcher. What wasn't a blur is a complete blank.

Well that's very convenient.
[Laughs]

But when one's best friend
steals the love ofhis life from under his nose,

it's either "laugh, clown, laugh"
or slit your wrists, and I didn't have the blood to spare.

- [Laughing]
- [Rob] But, Jessica,

if there is anything that I can do
for you while you're in Denver, you need only command.

Oh, this young man
has got to be your number one salesman.

Used to be. Used to be. Then they
promoted me to station manager either out of pity or desperation.

I haven't figured
that one out yet. Uh, so, Jessica,

let me take you on the 50 cent tour-
I think these two wanna talk about us.

Oh, that's very nice.
Thank you. [Laughs]

So how was the rest of your day?

All things considered, almost placid.
But then the day is not over yet. Yeah.

[Tires Screeching]

Excuse me.

Mr. Rinaldi. Mr. Rinaldi, sir,
you can't park like that, sir.

- [Rinaldi] Where's Chambers?
- [Woman] Why, you can't go in there.

Thank you.
No! I'm sorry, Mr. Chambers. I tried to stop him.

What are you tryin' to do,
destroy me? How are you, Joe?

My ulcer is acting up, and
I ain't about to eat a boatload of stuffed bears from Taiwan.

Now I spent a fortune on
these stupid toys, and you're not about to ruin me.

Well, those bears are unsafe, Joe.

Unsafe? No.

This is unsafe,
and I'm warning you, Chambers.

That's you if you put on
any show about my bears.

And here, of course,
the pièce de résistance-

a Rogues' Gallery
of life's famous losers.

Kenneth Chambers's
Wall of Fame and Shame. [Kenneth] Clare!

Yes, sir?
I thought I told Ryan to have this TVfixed.

- Now where the hell is he?
- I'll find him.

TV repairman.
Very funny, Warren. Very funny.

Suppose you channel
that sense of humor of yours into-

J. B. Fletcher.
Now this is a pleasure.

Steve told me that you were
coming. I can't tell you how much I admire your work.

Why, thank you,
Mr. Chambers.

I've heard a great deal
about you as well. Is that right?

What? The article in
the New York Times?

Um, from Jayne and Steve.

Oh. Well, Steve's great.

Great, like my right arm.
I couldn't get along without him.

Say, now I hope you're staying
for the next few days.

Well, I, uh-
I've got a terrific show lined up for Saturday evening.

I'm pulling the plug
on Rinaldi Toys.

[Rob]
Oh, come on, Kenneth. I thought we'd already discussed this.

Joe Rinaldi plunks down a lot of
advertising bucks in this station.

That doesn't give him a license
to bilk our public, now does it, Rob?

Look, the man is a menace.
Besides which, I've got an obligation to my viewers.

I am merely suggesting that-
Sorry.

We go with this Saturday, Warren,

unless, of course, you'd like
to pull the plug on me.

Because if you do,
there are plenty of places I can go, as you well know.

Ah, but what are
we arguing for?

Especially in front of our guest.

- J. B. Fletcher, say hello
to my assistant, Clare Henley. - Hello.

What a pleasure,
Mrs. Fletcher. Kenneth-

I mean, Mr. Chambers,
said you were coming.

He is such a fan.

Oh!
Oh, you idiot!

[Ryan]
Ah, I'm sorry, sir. It was an accident.

[Kenneth]
Accident? Your whole life is an accident, Monroe.

Look, that's it.
Look, you have screwed up for the last time. You're fired!

Kenneth, he certainly
didn't mean to- I said, out!

Now!

Ah, perhaps we should go
to the restaurant and meet Steve.

I think escape is
definitely in order.

Oh, well, ah-
[Laughs]

Yes, I'm sure we'll be seeing more
of each other, Mrs. Fletcher. Enjoy your stay in Denver.

Well, thank you, Mr. Chambers.
It's nice meeting you, Miss Henley.

[Steve]
No coffee, thanks. It's off my diet.

Yes, I imagine Kenneth Chambers
provides all the stimulant your nerves can handle.

So anyway, for once in his life,
old Steve here is actually hanging tough with me...

until, until I unleashed
my secret serve. The "Rob Warren unreturnable."

It's a miracle serve
that defies gravity. I've heard that before.

In all modesty,
from there on I just cruised to victory.

- As usual. And as usual,
we get to hear all about it. - Of course.

[Steve]
And before you ask, Jessica, no, I am not masochistic.

I'm into racquetball for the exercise.
It's good old Rob here who thrives on competition.

To the point of compulsion,
I might add.

Oh? Maybe your former
psychiatrist could give us some insight into that?

Mm-mmm.

Please, I would love to, but
there are very strict rules about doctor-patient confidentiality.

And it's a good thing.
Jayne and I had years of pillow talk.

Of course, I was the only one
with my head on the pillow. She was taking notes.

Oh, the things this woman
could tell about me. It's terrifying.

Well, I hate to break up a party,
gang, but work beckons. Orders from the Great One.

Sweetheart,
not again tonight. I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.

I'll probably be late,
so don't wait up.

Good night. Thanks, Rob.

[Rob]
Well, I, for one, can commiserate with Steve.

I had to work at the station
late every night this week, and believe me,

when there's no one else there,
it's a very lonely place.

Well, I doubt that he'll be lonely
with Mr. Chambers around.

Which is exactly why for the first
time in weeks, I am gonna go home and get myself a good night's sleep.

Night, Jaynie.
Good night, Rob.

And you, madam, I shall expect
to see in my office first thing in the morning...

to collect your 30 pieces of silver
for your book show appearance.

Here's a dollar.
Would you like that in dimes or quarters?

Jayne, what is it?
I don't know.

Oh, it's nothing really, I guess.

Uh, it's just that according to Steve,
he's been working late at the station every night this week,

and Rob just let it slip
that he's been working all alone.

Maybe it's just me.

[Knocking]
[Man] Mr. Chambers?

Yoo-hoo.

Mr. Chambers?

You asleep or something?

[Jayne] I hope Steve didn't
disturb you when he came home. It was awfully late.

I didn't hear a thing.
Slept straight through.

And he was gone
early this morning too.

Jayne, look, maybe it's none of
my business and feel free to tell me to shut up,

but Frank and I could
always talk things out.

You know, clear the air.
Whatever's going on.

Well, I'm a very good listener
with a very short memory.

Thanks, Jess. I guess it all started
when I quit my practice.

You know I could never understand that.
You seemed to be doing so well.

Indeed, I was a huge success.
Some of my patients still haven't forgiven me.

Jess, the bottom line,
I wanted- still want- a baby.

One doesn't necessarily
preclude the other.

Then let's just say marriage
is more of a full-timejob than I thought.

I know Steve is under
a lot of pressure from the show,

but, Jess, I feel...
he's drifting away.

So I thought if I could
be there for him, all the time-

What is that?

[Chattering]
[Cameras Clicking]

As most of your viewers know,
I was Kenneth Chambers's unofficial police expert.

Naturally I feel
a tremendous sense of loss.

The man had guts, integrity,
a real sense of community.

Selfless, dedicated-
Do you have any leads in the killing, Lieutenant?

Leads? Sure, but nothing
I can discuss right now.

A man like Kenneth Chambers
had powerful enemies-

Well, could you tell us
how he was killed?

Yes. He was shot twice
late last evening.

But let me tell you this,
and this is a promise.

Lieutenant Lou Flannigan will have
this great man's killer wrapped up...

before you people can say
"Film at 11." Thanks very much.

We've been talking to Lieutenant
Louis Flannigan of the Denver Police.

This is Rick Coleman reporting
live from Station KBLR. Back to you, Allison.

Thanks a lot, Lieutenant.
Yeah, we'll be in touch. Sure. Anything you need.

Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant?
Yeah?

L-I was wondering,
could you tell us just about when this happened?

Certainly. It was between
10:00 and 12:00 last evening.

The killer, ah-
Are you a reporter?

Oh, no. No, my name is
Jessica Fletcher and uh-

Fletcher? I know that name.

And the face. Are you sure
you're not with the media?

No, no, I'm-I'm just visiting
from out of town.

As my guest. I'm Jayne Honig.
My husband works here as a producer.

- Oh, Steve?
We've been looking for him. - You're what?

You know where he was last night, ma'am?
Say, between the hours of 10:00 and 12:00?

[Steve]Jayne!
Oh, sweetheart. Thank God, you're safe.

I just got back from playing
racquetball with Rob. I just heard. I don't believe any of this.

Steve, we've gotta talk.
Is there someplace we can be, ah, private?

Well, sure, Lieutenant,
there's my office, but-

It's just routine.
Don't sweat it.

Ladies, this is an official
police interrogation. No civilians.

Lieutenant-
Uh, Lieutenant, you know,

I don't know how you spotted me,
but you certainly had me pegged. I am a writer.

Crime is my beat.
Murder my specialty.

Somethin' told me.
If you wouldn't mind me sitting in,

I mean, uh, just to observe a real
homicide detective at work.

I wouldn't say a word.
Believe me.

Okay, but if you write it up,
I wanna clear the copy.

Oh, absolutely.

- The janitor says you and Chambers were
thrashing it out pretty good last night. - We argued, yes.

About what?
Ethics, Lieutenant.

He'd edited a tape
to make one of our experts look like an idiot.

He wouldn't do that.
Honesty was Kenneth Chambers's middle name.

Perhaps if you could establish
the time of that argument, Lieutenant.

Sorry.

What time did you leave?

It was around 10:30,
and I just went to cool off.

- What'd you do, climb Pike's Peak?
- I drove around for a couple of hours, and then I went home.

- So you got no witnesses?
- What are you driving at?

You argue with Chambers.
Chambers is dead.

And what-what motive
could he possibly have?

That is what I intend to
find out, ma'am. Downtown. Excuse me, sir.

Thought you oughta
have a look at this.

[Sighs]
This is insane. I didn't kill anybody.

Of course you didn't.

Mr. Honig, do you have
a permit to carry this weapon, sir?

Me? This is not mine.

No? Then how did it come to be
in the backseat of your car?

One of my men spotted it
through the window.

Also two shots have been fired.

My guess is this is the gun
that killed Kenneth Chambers. What's your guess?

[Jessica Sighing]
Lieutenant, for heaven's sakes. Anyone could have planted that gun.

Ma'am, you're just an observer here.

Yes, and what I've
observed is a complete lack of common sense.

If he was the killer,
why would he return to the scene of the crime...

with the murder weapon
carelessly concealed in the back of his car...

when he had all night
to dispose of it?

- There's a perfectly
logical reason for that. - Yes?

- [Door Opens]
- [Rob] Steve. Steve, I just heard.

Excuse me, sir, but I'm
interrogating this witness. And who are you?

Robert Warren.
I run this station. And you are?

Oh, Mr. Warren.
We haven't met. Lou Flannigan.

You've probably caught me
on Chambers's show a few times.

Actually, I hardly ever watched it.
Uh, I'm sorry to disrupt things, Mr. Warren,

but I've got to take Mr. Honig
down to the station for some additional questioning.

Well, you won't mind if I send
a lawyer along with him then? No, not at all.

[Sighs]

[Jayne]
Are you sure, Rob? I just feel like I should be there.

All right.
No, whatever you think is best. I'll wait for your call.

They are going to hold him at least
until the ballistics results are in.

And I'm afraid
that news won't be good.

Steve did not kill that man.
Of course he didn't.

He also doesn't own a gun,

which means the gun that
they found in the backseat has got to be the murder weapon,

planted there by the real killer
to railroad Steve into a conviction.

Jayne, what time did he
come home last night?

I don't know. 1:00, 1:30.

Did he say anything?

Anything that could give us a hint
as to what had happened?

No. We didn't speak.

I pretended to be asleep.

Oh, Jess, with what I was feeling,
I was terrified I'd say something I'd regret.

So I just laid there... silent.

And let my suspicions
gnaw at me.

[Clare Crying]
[Lynnette] Turn off the faucets, Clare.

Kenneth Chambers
only cared about himself.

He and Steve were a couple of
self-centered chauvinists.

And with them out of the way,
now is our big chance.

[Sob]
Kenneth is dead. How can you talk that way?

Think, Clare! Think of all
the humiliation that bag of gas heaped on you- on all of us.

Honey, I wouldn't steer you wrong.

What I'm saying is...

we can take the reins of Kenneth's
legacy and make it stronger.

Different.
We'd make a great team. I dig up the facts,

you feed 'em to the public.

The public, honey,
Kenneth's public.

They're ready for a change.
You know what they want?

They want pretty.

They want happy.

They want young attractive people.

- Like me?
- Not like you, Clare, you!

Now I've already
talked to Robert, but we've gotta move fast.

I am gonna create
a whole new image for you.

New hair,
complete makeover,

and a... a sexy wardrobe,

so your public can see
the beautiful you.

Sweetheart.
I'm gonna make you a star.

Well, Jayne should be
worried, Jessica. We all should.

But Ralph Kensington
is the best attorney in this city.

All well and good, Rob,
but I honestly believe...

that the best way to get
Steve off the hook is to find the real killer and fast.

Well, if you're looking for suspects,
I could name a few dozen.

You mean Joe Rinaldi,
the Teddy Bear King?

Oh, I'd put him right at the top
of the list is where I'd put him.

Oh, and you may also wanna
check on Clare Henley.

She was much more than
just his assistant.

Murray!

I want lots of lights.
Red and white, flashing!

Excuse me,
I'm looking for Clare Henley. Try backstage. Makeup.

Oh, thank you.
Uh, it's Miss Bryant, isn't it?

I don't believe we've met.
I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Lynnette Bryant. And it's Ms.

Ms. Oh, yes.
Ms. Bryant?

The blue. And I want you
to plunge the neckline. Start at the navel and work up.

Yes, ma'am.

Terrible tragedy about
Kenneth Chambers, isn't it?

The only tragedy is it took
Steve so long to cancel him.

Like I said, you can find
Clare backstage.

I've marked the photos I want blown up.
This afternoon at the latest. Right away.

Miss, uh, Ms. Bryant,
forgive me, but, uh,

it all looks very much as if
The Bottom Line isn't quite as dead as Kenneth Chambers.

Very observant. Life goes on,
especially in Televisionland.

New star, new producer-

Oh, then you're taking
Steve's place?

Hey, I did not step on Steve's bones
to get this gig, believe me.

He hated this job anyway.

What he really wanted was
the station manager slot.

Only the late and not-so-great
Kenneth Chambers made sure Rob Warren got it instead.

Which is why you think that
Steve may have killed him.

Now you're catching on.

Kill it!

Sorry. Look, I am really
very busy, Ms. Fletcher.

Ah, it's Mrs. Fletcher.
Whatever.

Hi.
Well? What do you think?

Well, very, uh, striking.

I hate it. I'm beginning to wish I was
back to being the weekend weather girl. Oh!

Look, you wanna talk?
Sure.

How about someplace
a little more private? Mm-hmm.

I grew up about a mile from here.
See those swings?

I used to play on them
when I was a kid.

Swinging always
made me feel happy.

I'm sure working
for Kenneth Chambers, you must have been down a lot.

Well, he wasn't perfect, but he was
good and honest, and he helped a lot of people, you know.

It was an honor to work for him
even though sometimes it was difficult.

Yes, I suppose he was hard
on everyone including Steve.

That's what I don't understand.
Steve killing him. I just don't believe he'd do it.

Good. Neither do I.
Now tell me aboutJoe Rinaldi.

That thug? He threatened Kenneth,
you know, over that show he was gonna run on the toy company.

Rinaldi has about 10 million dollars'
worth of toy bears just waiting for the Christmas rush.

Toy bears?
How could you have a problem with toy bears?

Kenneth said that Rinaldi
cut a lot of corners with the safety regulations.

And he had proof?
He had a whole show almost on tape.

He said it would ruin Rinaldi
when it got on the air.

Clare, I'd like to see
that tape. May I?

But I locked them in here
myself, Mrs. Fletcher.

The files, the tapes, all the
Rinaldi evidence. It's gone.

What are you bustin'
my chops for, lady? The cops got the killer.

What's his name,
Hanig, Hahnig, Honig-

I wanna talk to you about
some tapes, Mr. Rinaldi.

Some videotapes of your stuffed
teddy bears for a show...

that Kenneth Chambers was
going to run on Saturday.

I understand that
you threatened him.

Threaten? I don't threaten.
I negotiate.

- Those tapes are missing.
- What?

- Stolen from the station storage room.
- Lady, let me give you a clue. If you find 'em, they're mine.

- Bought and paid for
with hard Yankee greenbacks. - Bought from whom?

From Chambers. Who else?

25,000 in cash which I handed
over to him early last evening.

Somebody should've told me
there was a safe in here.

Kenneth would never
take a bribe. We are just wastin' our time.

You're right, honey.
If there's one thing I know, it's people.

And Kenneth Chambers
was too honest.

Oh, yeah? Well, that's the dough
I gave Chambers. Five $5,000 bundles still in their wrappers.

And the missing tapes.
I'd say there's another $50,000 or $60,000 in there.

Perhaps Mr. Rinaldi wasn't
the only one who was paying extortion.

The Hammet Cheese tape.
No wonder he killed the story.

I don't believe it.
Kenneth was a crook.

Believe it, sweetheart.
He had a neat little racket goin'.

Now I'll just take-
Oh, no way, Rinaldi.

Kenneth Chambers
may have been dishonest, but I'm running the show now.

I don't take bribes.
And come Saturday night at 7:30,

The New Bottom Line
is gonna crucify you, aren't we, Clare?

[Flannigan]
Finding the money and tapes doesn't get Steve Honig off the hot seat.

Oh, Lieutenant, if you would just
open up your mind to the possibilities.

Mrs. Fletcher,
you're a sweet lady.

Sweet but, uh, dishonest.
I beg your pardon.

All that donkey dirt about
you being a crime writer. [Clucking Tongue]

Lieutenant,
I did not lie to you... exactly.

Yeah. You didn't tell the truth
exactly either, did you?

But never mind.

The point is, ma'am,
as far as I'm concerned,

Steve Honig killed Chambers
and planted those tapes to smear his good name.

Anyone could've accomplished it.

I mean, maybeJoe Rinaldi came in
to get his money back and ended up shooting Chambers.

No, no, no, no.

Honig went to Chambers's
office to smear Chambers.

Well, Chambers surprised him.
Yeah, that's it.

And then, uh,
Honig had to shoot him.

You mind if I have
a look at those?

No, no. Be my guest.
They're just photos of the murder scene.

You think you can catch something
that the, uh, trained eye couldn't?

Kenneth Chambers was shot
through the back of his chair.

He must've been facing
away from the door. Yeah. So?

Well, why was he sitting
with his back to the door?

[Laughing]
To the untrained eye, it must seem strange, but if you'll notice,

there's a TV and a VCR
behind the desk on that shelf there.

Ah.
He was watching TV.

Uh, Lieutenant, uh, with due
respect for your trained eye,

that is impossible.

I was in Mr. Chambers's
office and, uh,

his television was broken.

- Broken?
- Broken.

Which makes me wonder
what he was doing sitting in that, uh, odd position.

- Well, obviously-
- Yes?

Obviously, uh, this is gonna
take some thought.

[Jessica]
Any news from the lawyer?

Oh, he's still trying to
arrange for Steve's release. But it doesn't look very good.

Rob, The Bottom Line. Whose
idea was it to revive the show without Kenneth Chambers?

Lynnette Bryant's.

Why? You think Lynnette
may have personally canceled Kenneth just to get her own shot?

I've heard of worst motives.
Oh, I suppose.

She's a very talented girl
who wasn't given much to do under Steve's wing.

It's funny. Under the new format,
everybody's coming out a winner.

You know, Jessica,
this isn't public knowledge,

but Kenneth was thinking about
taking the show to the network and leaving everyone else behind.

My goodness. Including Clare?

Oh, especially Clare.
You see, everyone here knew about their romance,

and no matter how hard Kenneth
tried to shake her loose,

well, somehow she always managed
to hang on with a firm grip.

It's ironic though, isn't it?
I mean, now that he's dead, and Lynnette's running the show,

Clare is going to be a star.

Oh, well, excuse me.
Duty calls.

Ironic.

[Clare]
I'm sure you will all be able to sleep better at night...

knowing that The New
Bottom Line will continue its costumer crusades.

- [Bell]
- [Lynnette On Mike] Cut! It's "consumer crusades,"Clare. "Consumer."

I think I need new contacts.

[Lynnette]
Listen, Clare, we can't spend all day on this.

Let's move on to the Rinaldi
Teddy Bear demonstration. Ryan!

[Woman]
Miss Henley, need makeup? [Ryan] It's okay.

Well, I guess you're a little
surprised to see me, huh, Mrs. Fletcher.

In this business,
it's here today, gone tomorrow.

Chambers is gone,
and I am here.

Well, frankly, Mr. Monroe,
everything about this business surprises me.

Clare Henley suddenly a star,
Lynnette a producer-

And me an assistant director.
Well, you gotta understand something about television.

You see, the name
of this game is hustle. Any boob can do these jobs.

You just gotta make sure
you're the any boob that gets himself hired.

- Tell me, how are you
at fixing television sets? - What?

- [Lynnette]
Okay, Clare, let's try it. - [Bell Rings]

Excuse me.

[Lynnette]
Stand by, everyone. Quiet on the set. Action.

Even though this may look
like a harmless toy,

it is actually a dangerous
threat to your child.

Inside there is a very sharp wire
that could poke a child's eye out.

And because of shoddy craftsmanship
by the Rinaldi Toy Company,

eight out of 10 two-year-olds we tested
easily pulled the arm off.

- [Lynnette] Cut!
- [Bell Rings]

[Laughter]
Oh, that was something.

Oh, Mr. Tanaka.
You-You startled me.

Very sorry, Mrs. Fletcher.

You know, it's an honor for me,
you being big-time writer and all.

I've been admiring
your trash for a long time.

[Laughing]

No, no, no. Excuse me. I misspoke.
Not your books, your trash.

I got this collection
of celebrity trash.

Maybe you wanna see it.
You come to my office. I show it to you.

Well, yes.
Yes, I'd like to talk to you.

Good, good.
My office this way. Thank you.

I got a whole bunch of stuff in here.

Here, please. You sit down.
Oh, yes, thank you.

I got something from every celebrity
who ever visit this station.

Oh, yes, it's fascinating,
but, uh-

A bronze apple core
belong to David Eisenhower.

Look like he got a chip on his tooth
or something like that. Oh, yes. Mr. Tanaka-

See this? See this?
Salami wrapper of Frank Sinatra's.

[Sighs]
And this banana peel belonged to Jerry Lewis. Very funny man.

And just last month,
this milk carton of Pat Boone's.

- Mr. Tanaka-
- Oh, call me Bert.

Bert, this is all very interesting-
I know, I know.

I bet you want to hear about
the night Mr. Chambers got killed.

Well, uh, tuna fish.
You want half? Oh, no, thank you.

The other night, I come
to the executive hallway at my regular time,

10:30, to do my rounds.

I was very happy to find
Mr. Honig and Mr. Chambers arguing.

Happy?

Not because they were arguing,
you know, but because...

for the past few nights,
Mr. Honig had been working late...

and didn't wanna be disturbed
by having his office cleaned.

So Steve was working late.
Now that is good news.

But the night of the killing,
was there something strange or something like that?

Nothing. I just go about
my regular job like I've been doing for the last 38 years.

I got a system. You have to
to last in this business, you know.

I dust, I dump the ashtray,
I vacuum, and then I look through the trash.

If there's nothing famous,
I dump it. Ah!

Oh, my gosh.
I just had these cleaned.

I hope it don't stain or anything.

Now I gotta get changed.

Bert, could you let me into
Mr. Honig's office? Now. Sure.

What are you looking for,
Mrs. Fletcher, huh?

Of course.
Bert, I can't thank you enough.

Oh, sure.
That's okay. Anytime.

Lieutenant.
No, Mrs. Fletcher. Whatever it is, no.

But I am certain that
Steve Honig couldn't possibly have killed Mr. Chambers.

Oh, really? How did you arrive
at that brilliant conclusion?

Because whoever killed
Kenneth Chambers was actually trying to kill Steve Honig.

Steve Honig?
[Laughing]

Who'd want to kill Steve Honig?
He's nobody.

There, how do I look?

[Sighs]
Lieutenant, could you stop grooming yourself long enough to listen to me?

Mrs. Fletcher, I have
a newscast in a few minutes. I have to look my best.

Well, pardon me, but
you're going to look like a complete fool...

if you go out in front of those
cameras and take credit for the arrest of Steve Honig.

Not to mention the lawsuit
that you may be facing.

Well, there's your chair.

[Jessica]
Just as I thought.

The bullet holes,
no coffee stain. That proves it.

Proves what?

[Clare On TV]
Even though this may look like a harmless toy,

it is actually a dangerous
threat to your child...

because inside there is a very sharp wire
that could poke a child's eye out.

And because of shoddy craftsmanship
by the Rinaldi Toy Company,

eight out of 10 two-year-olds we tested
easily pulled the arm off.

It's fabulous.
We've got a real hit here.

And there we have the wire.

Clare, you were great.

Bert, did you get Steve Honig's
office cleared out yet?

I wanna move in tomorrow.
Oh, yes, soon.

From the looks of that tape,
you gonna be in that office a long time.

Tape looks A-okay to Bert,
you bet.

Oh, Mr. Warren,
I'm glad you're here too,

because if Miss Bryant
want a new chair,

you gotta sign the form
to order it.

I got it here someplace.

Why do we need a new chair
in Steve's office?

Oh, bad coffee stain
on Mr. Honig's chair.

Bad, bad, bad.
Can't do anything to get rid of it, you know.

Oh, here it is.

I figure why get one chair
when we need two.

One for Mr. Chambers's office,
the other for Mr. Honig's office.

I like to be efficient, you know.
[Rob] Mm-hmm.

Thank you, Mr. Warren.

All right.
I leave you all alone now.

No more interruption
from Bert. No, sir.

[Thunderclap]

I imagine you're very surprised, Rob.

But I suppose not half
as surprised as the night you shot Kenneth Chambers.

[Chuckles]
What are you talking about?

I wasn't even here
the night Kenneth was shot. I was home in bed asleep.

No, you weren't. You were here
in this office after 10:30,

after Bert Tanaka saw
Steve and Mr. Chambers arguing, and after Steve left.

Oh, you've got
the wrong idea, Jessica.

No. You left your calling card.
Your cigar ash.

The morning
the body was discovered,

Lieutenant Flannigan
dumped a large cigar ash from the ashtray.

A cigar ash that could only
have been left by the killer.

And only you, Rob,
smoked a cigar.

It was from a previous day.

It couldn't have been.
Bert Tanaka cleaned the office and the ashtray at 10:30.

His usual routine.
You came back after that.

But you didn't know
that Steve had left,

or that Mr. Chambers would be
sitting in Steve's chair watching a videotape,

because his own television was broken.

You thought it was Steve you shot
through the back of the chair.

Then when you discovered
you'd killed the wrong man, you decided that framing Steve...

for the murder would serve
your purpose just as well.

So you switched chairs
from office to office.

What you had overlooked
was the coffee stain.

Ryan Monroe had spilled coffee
on Kenneth Chambers's chair earlier in the day.

That made it obvious
the chairs had been switched.

Later, you planted the gun
in Steve's car to make him look like the guilty party.

Steve is my friend. I would never
do anything to hurt him.

Is that why you deliberately
lied toJayne, saying Steve had not been working late,

when in truth
he had been working late?

- Bert Tanaka will confirm that.
- Well, this makes no sense at all, Jessica.

In hindsight, it all makes sense.

Your comment about
having to pay to be alone with the woman you love.

All those times you asked
Jayne to run away with you.

You were serious,
weren't you, Robert?

Why couldn't you just leave
things the way they were?

Oh, Jessica, Jessica.

You really should not
have interfered.

Is that your solution?
To kill me?

Well, it shouldn't be too hard
to find another author for our book review show.

You need help, Robert.
Help from Jayne.

[Jayne]
Robert.

I didn't understand,
but I do now.

Violence didn't work before.

It won't work this time.

You-You shouldn't be here.
Why?

Would you kill me too?

When I realized that
Robert killed Mr. Chambers,

I convinced Lieutenant
Flannigan to let me use the coffee-stained chair...

as bait to set a trap
and gain a confession.

Actually, I had no proof whatsoever.

You know, it's Bert Tanaka
who deserves the real credit for setting the trap so nicely.

Well, I can't thank you
enough, Jess, ah,

for getting me off the hook
and such a brilliant interview...

and just, well, everything.

Nonsense. Jayne deserves
just as much credit.

She never gave up.
[Clamoring]

Oh-
[Clears Throat] Speaking of taking credit.

Now you take those
two switched chairs-

It takes a highly trained eye
to spot something like that.

And in all modesty,
I've got to tell you that it was-

that it was I, Lou Flannigan,
police expert,

who sensed the incongruity of those
eminently important pieces of evidence.

I said to myself,
"Mere furniture? I think not."

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