All language subtitles for Gidget s01e21 In And Out With The In Laws.eng

Oh. Anything for me?

All for you.
A bill, bill-- Yeah.

bill--
Yeah.

"Resident."
That's for you. Gee, thanks a bunch.

Oh. That's for me!
It's from Jeff.

What does he have to say?
Please. This is private.

Private, private.
Oh, "Private, private."

I'm sorry.
I lost my head.

Hmm.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, no.

Yeah? Hey.

It's all right with me if you
wanna keep your reactions private, private too.

Oh, Jeff's so wonderful.
Most boys don't even like to write letters.

Poor guy must have
writer's cramp.

Why?
A whole page and a half.

Page and a half?
Where do you get the page and a half?

Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

Huh?

Oh, no.

No. Daddy.
Somethin' wrong?

Wait'll you hear this.
Oh, I see.

When there's something wrong,
it's not so private, private? Just listen.

"P.S. Mom and Dad are
in San Francisco this week on their way to Hawaii.

"Saturday, they're
going to be in L.A.

"I wrote and told them
to look you up if they felt like it.

"You could meet them
if you want to.

No sweat, Jeff."
Daddy.

I fail to see why
that strikes terror in your heart.

What could he
be thinking of? Meet his parents?

Holy cow, I'm only wearing
his ring around my neck.

Sort of halfway going steady
is one thing,

but meeting a fella's parents
is something else.

Why? What difference
does that make?

What difference does
that make?

Oh, that's
the switch of all time-- I have to remind you.

Remind me of what?
I'm only 15 and a half.

So?
I'm not ready to get married.

* [ Jazzy Pop ]

* If you're in doubt
about angels *

* Being real

* I can arrange to change

* Any doubts you feel

* Wait till you see
my Gidget *

* You'll want her
for your valentine *

* You're gonna say
she's all that you adore *

* But stay away
Gidget is spoken for *

* You're gonna find
that Gidget is *

* Mine *

Dad? Dad, wait.

If I have to meet Jeff's
parents alone,

the least you can do
is help me decide what to wear.

Gidget, for the last time,
will you use your own judgment?

I used my own judgment.
I reached for my white skirt and sweater.

What's the matter
with that? White? White?

Oh, then all I need
is a veil and someone to sing "Oh, Promise Me."

Egads. Jeff's even
got my subconscious rushing me into marriage.

If I ever heard
a casual suggestion--

"If you want to.
If you feel like it." Okay.

That's what he wrote to me.
What must he have written to his parents...

to make 'em rush into town
and call the very first thing?

They got here yesterday, and
Mrs. Matthews didn't phone you until 11:30 this morning.

I would hardly call that
the very first thing.

Dad, this is no time
to split hairs. Fine.

Dad, come on now.
Help me. I'm serious. You look it.

Don't you even
care what kind of an impression I make?

Suppose they don't approve
of me. Suppose they refuse to come to the wedding.

What wedding?

When you read Jeff's letter,
you weren't ready for marriage.

Now you're galloping
down the aisle-- alone, I might add.

But someday,
I'll be galloping down the aisle with someone.

Oh.
Suppose it turns out to be Jeff?

It could, you know, if I don't
change my mind, meet someone new or marry anyone else.

Oh, well, when you put it
like that, it's certainly a definite possibility.

You see, that's why
I have to make exactly the right impression.

Uh, not too old,
not too young.

You said the magic word.
[ Together ] "Too young."

Right.
But only chronologically.

A girl can be
a lot older mentally than she is chronologically.

[ Horn Honking ]

Della Mae.

And a girl can be
a lot younger mentally than she is chronologically.

I'm glad we can
end this discussion on a note of agreement.

All we've agreed about
is Della Mae.

Don't any of your smart
students ever get crushes on you?

It isn't really me
they're after. It's a passing grade.

Oh, hi, Professor,
Gidget, honey.

Professor, why don't you
let me give you a lift?

Then you can concentrate
on other things instead of drivin'.

Well, thanks, Della Mae,
but I'll need my car later.

Uh, but if you'd really like
to give somebody a lift,

Gidget has a luncheon date
at the Beverly Terrace Hotel.

Oh, well, I'd be glad to.
At your service, honey.

Me. Me.
The ride's for me. Oh.

If I can get away
from my meeting soon enough, I'll come by and pick you up.

Thanks, Della.
Hey!

Aren't you even
gonna wish me luck?

Why? You know how to say
"Happy to meet you," "Thank you," "Please pass the peas."

Yeah, but my whole
married in-law life could depend on the way I say it.

Wear the blue. It makes
you look days older.

I've already decided
on the white. Well, fine.

If Della Mae knows the lyrics
to "Oh, Promise Me," you're all set.

[ Gidget Narrating ]
Not only did he leave me with my problem,

he left me with his.

Jim? Jim?
[ Man ] What?

Look. Look what
they've done to my hair.

Who?
The beauty salon downstairs.

Looks all right to me.
No, it's all wrong.

I said set it back,
so they set it forward.

Well, wherever they set it,
I like it.

Don't you think
it makes me look old? [ Sighs ]

I mean older.
Are you on that kick again?

Yes, I am. Do you know
there's a convention of shoe salesmen in this hotel?

There is?

I've been across that lobby at
least four times this morning,

and not one salesman--
not one--

- turned round and winked
or smiled or anything. - [ Huffs ]

Do you know what that means
when a man at a convention doesn't look at a woman?

Means he's got
a pretty big hangover.

Well, that's very gallant,
but not necessarily true.

Forty. I don't feel 40.

It's awful to reach
an age and not feel it. That's the way it should be.

Never reach an age
until you feel it. Mm.

But kids make you feel it.
Like Jeff and this girl.

Oh, she'll make me feel
a hundred and three.

How can you be so sure?
Talking to her on the telephone.

So sweet and so polite.
Wait and see. She'll go the whole route.

Standing up when I come
into the room. Stepping aside to let me out of the elevator.

Calling me "ma'am."
The whole humiliating route.

That's not humiliating.
It's just showing respect.

That's all right when
you're prepared for it--

when you're 60, 70 or 80.

I suppose it is tough.

What do you mean you suppose?

It's so much harder on women.

You age so much faster.

Men grow
just more distinguished. A touch of gray lights 'em up.

On a woman,
it means light's going out.

- Since when?
- Wait'll you start having grandchildren.

That'll make up for it.

Well, I won't exactly
be having them alone.

They'll be
your grandchildren too, you know.

And aren't you forgetting
you're five years older than I am? [ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ] I know darling,
but I don't look it. Hmm.

When I go to the lobby,
all the young chicks give me the eye.

Older men appeal
to young girls.

You remember.
Jim.

This is a bad moment.
Mm-hmm.

It's a bad moment
in any woman's life--

the first time she feels
age creeping up on her. Yeah.

Now, I'll get over it,

but at the moment,
I need sympathy.

Oh, darling.
How can I sympathize...

when I don't know
how it feels?

Ooh!
Where are you going?

To the drugstore
for a headache powder.

Make you sure you get the kind
they make for senior citizens.

[ Horns Honking ]

- Gee, we're--
We're awfully early. - About 20 minutes is all.

Maybe I could wait
in the lobby.

Why don't you come in?
I'll buy you a soda.

Honey, don't you be nervous.
Just stop frettin' and go on in there. I--

Twenty?
Yeah, that's what you said. Twenty minutes early.

20,000 men?
[ Horns Honking Continue ]

Ooh, I wonder if
they're all here...

and if they're as attractive
as that one over there?

Huh?

Uh, honey, I think
I'd better come in with you.

I'll go park the car.
Okay.

- I'll be right with you,
honey child. - Hurry up.

How did she know my name
was Honeychild? Herbert! Herbert Honeychild!

[ People Laughing,
Chattering ]

Root beer.
Make it a double.

Ah, here's
a cute little doll. [ Chuckles ]

Oops. Throw her back.
Too young. Oh, fine.

Here, now, here.
Now we're cooking.

This is more like it.
[ Laughs ]

If there's anything I like,
it's a real live redhead.

Especially one with
big, bluey-green eyes.

Hmm?

What would you say
if I said, "Where have you been all my life?"

[ Register Dings ]
Oh. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Uh, could we
buy you a drink?

But I want you
to know I appreciate your asking me very much.

Uh, is that
a yes or a no? No. Thank you.

And thank you too.
I hope that one day someone does as much for your wife.

And your wife too.

Believe me, there'll come
a day when she'll be very grateful

to some strange man...

who comes up to her and says
what you've been saying to me.

Yeah, well, she'd better
not let me catch her. Yeah. Mine neither.

What was that?
I don't know. She looked normal.

Boy, was that neat.
What a groovy put-down.

Has it always worked
that great?

I don't know. It's the first
time I tried it.

Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You acted so nice to them, so sincere.

Well, I was sincere.
I needed a few kind words.

Then you hit 'em with
the part about the wife. Oh, that really threw 'em.

I'll have to remember that.

- Must be nice.
- What?

To be the kind of a woman
that men just can't help but turn around...

and look at and wanna meet--

and don't decide
that she's too young and you have to throw her back.

Boy, does being too young
ever get to be a liability.

- Is it now?
- I can't wait till I'm your age.

- My age?
- Yeah.

The perfect age, where nobody
can tell how old or young you are and could care less.

Like the movie stars,

where-where you reach
a certain point and you just stay there forever.

Instead of, one minute,
being told you're a baby,

and then, the next, having
somebody trying to make you old before your time.

Who's trying to make you
old before your time?

My boyfriend
and his parents. Oh.

A meet like this,
you don't expect to have till you're at least 20.

- A what like what?
- A meet...

with prospective in-laws.

Prospective in-laws?
For you?

Well, maybe they're not
all that prospective right this minute.

But you know something?

I've got a sneaking feeling
I am gonna marry Jeff someday.

- Jeff?
- That's his name.

So you see, this meeting
today with his parents, it counts-- counts a lot.

First impressions last.
Well, um,

occasionally people can
change their minds, you know.

Not his parents.
They're from the East.

- You know how stubborn
easterners are. - Oh, yes.

- Some of them are still
trying to surf the Atlantic. - Are they still?

Yeah. And that's how
it'll go with me.

One look at me, and
they'll decide I'm a baby.

And that's how they'll
think of me forever after.

What kind of a chance
will I have in years to come if we get in a family fight?

I hadn't thought about that.

Yeah. I like to think ahead.

Well, I'm sure that they'll
find you absolutely enchanting.

Hmm.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh! Ah!

Oh, dear.
Oh. Oh, swell.

In addition to
everything else, I'm gonna look like a slob.

What a shame.

But I promise you
that nobody will notice.

How can you be so sure?
Well, I have a sneaky feeling of my own.

There.

Well, good-bye and good luck.

I promise you
you won't need it though.

Thanks. Oh, and thanks for
the great put-down, you know, with the shoe salesmen.

Oh, yes.
[ Laughs ]

Toodles.
Bye.

[ Man Whistles ]

Hey.
Well, hello there.

Howdy.
Yes, indeedy. [ Chuckles ]

Good day to you, too.
Hi.

Well, I do believe
you're following me.

Eh-- So I am.
Yes, uh, a little bit.

In another minute, I might
ask you to have a drink with me.

Oh.

I'll just have to say no
until my little friend meets her friends.

Does that mean later?
Well, it certainly sounds like it, doesn't it?

Later.

Very nice.

I'm gonna have to start
buying more shoes.

I thought you were supposed to
have such a mad crush on my dad.

Well, I do.

But modern psychologists tell
us, in order to truly love one man, you have to love 'em all.

You know something?
I think you're gonna make it.

I just happen to admire
good-looking, adorable men.

After all, they are strangers
in town, and you wouldn't want me to be rude or--

Why, honey,
whatever did you do?

I, uh-- I got in the way
of one of your strangers.

You know, you oughta
take a lesson from this lady I just talked to.

She knew how to
put down men without being the least bit rude.

Now you can't go meeting
Jeff's folks looking like that.

What else can I do?

Come on.
Where?

To change sweaters.
You wear mine. I'll wear yours.

Why, Della Mae,
that's downright generous of you.

Oh, that's all right.
Nobody's gonna notice a little old root beer stain on me.

What were you saying
about what lady? How wasn't she rude?

Well--
Oh.

Forget it.

Jim, just for once, do
as I say and don't ask any questions.

I'm supposed to go down to
the lobby and look for a girl...

in a white skirt and sweater
with a root beer stain on it?

That's right.
Get in a conversation. Put her at ease.

You been drinking?
I have not.

You've got to be drunk
to expect me to walk up to a strange woman--

Child.
and talk to her and put her at her ease yet.

Wh-What is she gonna think?

She isn't gonna
think anything. She's gonna be too nervous.

But this way you get a chance
to meet her the way I did. No, Laura.

Jim, please?
Well, when you put it that way.

No.
Oh.

All right, spoilsport.

It's Jeff's girl.
What?

Yes. Now, I'm not gonna
tell you anything else.

Now will you do it?
Well, why didn't you say so?

'Cause it spoils the fun.

Just be perfectly natural
with her, and then when we do introduce ourselves to her,

she won't have to
behave any other way. Uh-huh.

And she's darling.
She is, huh?

Mm-hmm. And she thinks
I'm the perfect age.

How did she put it? An age
where no one can figure out...

just how old you are
or how young.

And nobody cares.
She was drinking too, huh?

Not that one.
What?

This one.
Why?

It doesn't make you look,
uh, quite so, uh--

Quite so what?
Um, stodgy, settled.

Uh, what's the word?
Um--

Fresh. That's the word.
[ Laughs ]

I don't know, Della. I don't
seem to take up as much room in your sweater as you do.

Well, it's better than
having it too tight, honey.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
But do you?

Oh, where are
those housephones?

I can't put off calling
the Matthews much longer.

Did you ever notice
what beautiful eyes the short ones all have?

Della, cut that out.
Goodness' sakes. I'm just trying to be nice.

Well, if you have to be nice,
can't you be nice like the lady in the drugstore?

You know--
[ Sighs ]

Um, may I have Mr. and Mrs.
Matthews' suite, please?

Oh, this thing.
[ Gasps ] Look at that one. Isn't he attractive?

Oh, I just love 'em
when they get that age, like your dad.

Oh, brother.
Bye-bye.

Where are you going,
Della? Window-shopping.

Can't you wait with me
till I meet them? I need a friend.

Well, all right.
Mrs. Matthews. Hi.

This is Frances Lawrence.
How have you been? I'll be going now.

You have them
on the telephone. I'm here.

Would you like me
to come right up? You don't need me.

Shh! Oh, no, no.
Not you, Mrs. Matthews. You don't need me anymore.

Uh. Oh, you want me
to wait in the lobby? Yeah.

You're coming right down?
Well-- Well, how will I know--

She hung up.
Good-bye, honey.

Della, wait with me.
They're coming right down. I'm scared.

Well-- Oh, look!

Oh, Della, this sweater
just isn't gonna work.

I think I'm better off
with the root beer. Come on.

Am I mistaken, or is he
finally lookin' over here?

Della, come on, please?
Well, honey, if the man wants to be sociable--

Either come right now,
or I'll tell my dad and--

and you'll never pass English.

But he's already comin' over.
Well, then, get rid of him quick,

or it's an unconditional "F."

But I don't know how.
Well, like the lady in the drugstore did.

First-- First, thank him and
tell him how grateful you are.

That's G-R-A-T-E-F--
as in "flunk"-- U-L.

[ Whispering ]
Then hit him with the line about the wife.

Hurry up.
I want my sweater. All right.

I wonder if you could be
the little girl I'm looking for.

Well, I could've been if
you weren't so all-fired slow.

Slow? I don't understand.

Otherwise, a distinguished,
good-looking man like you,

I'd been real happy to make
your acquaintance. [ Whispers ] Thank him.

Thank him.
Who?

Oh, but I do appreciate
your askin'.

Asking? Asking what?

[ Whispers ]
Grateful. Grateful.

- Grateful?
- I'm so grateful.

His wife.
Wife.

I-I hope your wife
has as much luck. My-My-- My wife?

Although why a woman
married to a handsome man like you...

has to be out looking for
compliments from strange men

is more than what I
can figure out.

Strange? What are you
talking about, young woman?

You can't be the girl I'm--
Is that root beer?

If you're gonna get personal.
Now what did you mean about my wife?

What wife?
My wife. Did she put you up to this?

You mean to tell me you have
a wife

and you're looking to
strike an acquaintance with me?

No wonder your wife
is looking for strange men.

She is not looking
for strange men.

Furthermore, I wouldn't
be the least bit happy...

to make your acquaintance
if I had known you were married.

I draw the line
at married men.

[ Chattering, Arguing ]
Now, now, just a minute! Just a minute!

Why, you oughta be
ashamed of yourself. I--

And you old enough
to be my grandfather. All I was trying to--

Grand-- Grandfather?
[ All ] Yeah! That's right!

[ Gidget Narrating ]
I needed this like I needed a hole in the head.

Under the circumstances,
there was only one thing for me to do--

what any other
normal, red-blooded American teenager would do--

run.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
[ People Shouting ]

Hey, just a minute.
Take it easy. You got troubles, honey?

- Who are you?
- Oh, am I glad to see you.

I tell you. This lobby
just isn't safe for a young girl like myself.

All those married men running
around, preying on young girls,

neglecting their wives.

- I'll bet you don't
even sell shoes. - I certainly do not!

And what's wrong
with selling shoes? [ Chattering, Arguing ]

Hold it! Will you please
stay out of this?

Why don't you
run along, Dad? Who are you calling Dad?

[ Chattering, Arguing
Continue ]

Oh. Oh, ma'am, am I
ever glad to see you.

You see, my friend,
she's in big trouble. This man tried to pick her up.

Then I tried to
tell her like you did, and it didn't work.

What?
[ Chattering, Arguing Continue ]

- Easy, Pop. I don't
wanna have to slug you. - All I know is...

if that's root beer,
I'm entitled to an explanation.

Oh, he's asking for it!

You're asking for it.
Oh, if they ever hear about this in Tennessee--

Oh!
[ Shouting ]

Oh. Where's your sweater?

To be honest, ma'am,
I couldn't care less about my sweater.

What'll I do about my friend?

What am I gonna do
about my husband? Husband?

Jim, you've got
the wrong girl!

Jim! Jim! Jim!
You've got the wrong girl!

Jim, this is Gidget.
[ Gasps ] You're Jeff's parents.

What's going on?
Some old goat is trying to pick up a young girl.

Huh?

I've been looking
all over for you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry about that. You're--

- Gidget!
- [ Jim ] Gidget!

Gidget!
Oh! Daddy!

[ Stammers ]
Oh!

My, this was just
such a lovely afternoon.

And, Professor, the way you
came charging through that crowd.

I had no idea you were
in such good condition. I wasn't.

- Sorry about that, old man.
- Yeah, I'm sorry about that, old man.

You know, I still
can't believe you, Mrs. Matthews.

You really have
a 19-year-old son? Yes, I do.

Well, he's
my son too. You I can believe.

I've had all
I can take from you. I wanna tell you something.

I've-I've--
Jim, stop it. It's over. Forget it.

It wouldn't have started
if you hadn't sent me-- I was minding my own business.

- I'm certain you were.
- Heaven knows I had nothing to do with it.

- If you ask me--
- Gidget.

Oh, certainly.
Stop it.

What I was going to say is,
all's well that ends well.

Do you call this
ending well? Very nice. [ Muttering ]

Well, what I meant is,
this started out to be...

a dull, formal luncheon
for three, didn't it?

Yeah.
Yeah.

And look how it ended up--
just one great big happy war.

Well, she-- she certainly
has something there.

Oh, Gidge, for heaven's sake,
there's no-- But, Dad.

- There's no point.
- Do you wanna stand

in front of your classes
tomorrow like that?

With your eye
all black and blue? No.

Then sit down and let me
fix it for you.

Aren't Jeff's parents
wonderful? Yeah, they were nice. Oh.

Shows you, doesn't it?
Prospective in-laws can be fantastic.

The whole trick is
to catch them unaware.

Meet them before
they're prospective in-laws so they're still human beings.

- Is that what I mean?
- I don't know what you mean.

- But what are you doing?
- Well, I'm looking for the first aid booklet.

I know it's hot or cold
applications when it happens...

and the exact opposite
afterwards,

but which?

But have no fear.
If we can't find the booklet,

we'll play it safe
and do both.

- Oh, fine. Hey, Gidge.
- What?

Forget it. My eye's not
gonna be black and blue.

It's not?
Nope. It's gonna be green and purple.

Oh, Dad.
Ooh.

[ Gidget Narrating ]
Isn't he the greatest? Hey.

I just happened to think:
Any guy who marries me is gonna end up with

Dad as a father-in-law.

How's that for
hitting the jackpot?

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