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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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♪♪
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00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,079
♪♪
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00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,126
Aren't you glad we
got out of the house
6
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,003
and came downtown
for a little culture?
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00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,423
Heh. They're butchering
the classics.
8
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Could that bassoon have
come in any more late?
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00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,302
Come on, Homer.
10
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,428
There's lasers.
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You like lasers.
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00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,806
Laser effects, mirrored balls...
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00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,809
John Williams must be
rolling around in his grave.
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00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,104
♪♪
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Deviliciously satirical.
16
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I wonder if anyone
else got that.
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We're outta here.
18
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Whoa. Careful, now.
19
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,408
These are dangerous streets
20
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,786
for us upper-lower-
middle-class types,
21
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,747
so avoid eye contact,
watch your pocketbook
22
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,415
and suspect everyone.
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Three-card monte.
24
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Whoo-hoo! Easy money!
25
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,961
Homer, these games are fixed.
26
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,922
Then how come
that guy's winning?
27
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,925
Whoa... I, like,
totally won again.
28
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,343
Way to go, bro.
29
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,595
He looks and acts
just like the dealer.
30
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,640
I think they're related,
or at least in cahoots.
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00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,768
Just pick the red card.
It's totally not hard.
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20 on this one, my good man.
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Sorry, dude.
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Black.
35
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,406
Homer, he cheated you!
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Surely, you don't blame me.
37
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,371
It's people like you
38
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,873
who are ruining our downtown
promenades and piazzas.
39
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,793
How dare you prey on the greedy
and stupid like this.
40
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:07,919
Buh-bye.
41
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,420
Somebody stop him!
42
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He's getting away!
43
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Come on! Come on!
44
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No! Marge!
45
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I must warn you...
46
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,378
um... sometimes ordinary people
47
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,006
g-get,
48
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a surge of adrenaline.
49
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Yee...!
50
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,385
Ooh!
51
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,013
See?
52
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Cuff him, boys.
53
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We're putting this dirtbag away.
54
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,811
I'll be back on the street
in 24 hours.
55
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,397
We'll try to make it 12.
56
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,695
Marge, are you okay?
57
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,071
I think I'm okay.
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00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,699
It was scary, but,
in a weird way,
59
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,201
it was also
kind of exhilarating.
60
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,952
Yes, it is exhilarating
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00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,079
to see the police get their man
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00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,581
and save a hysterical woman.
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00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,000
For crying out loud.
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00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:33,171
Easy now, sweetheart.
Homey's here.
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00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:36,174
Hey, Mom, is this
how you caught him?
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00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,344
Face it, Lis,
you're too puny to...
67
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,720
Aah!
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00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,223
Lisa, unhand your brother.
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00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,310
Yeah, like that really hurt.
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00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,189
Mom, was catching that guy
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00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,691
the most incredibly exciting
thing you've ever done?
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00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,693
Well, it was pretty exciting.
73
00:03:55,777 --> 00:04:00,573
But celery soup's
pretty exciting, too.
74
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,329
Mm...
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00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:15,421
Strange. Regular ham
doesn't thrill me anymore.
76
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,425
I'm crossing over
to deviled ham.
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Whoo!
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00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,533
Marge!
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00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,035
Hey, Mrs. Simpson,
I just got
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00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,829
the new issue of
"Sponge and Vacuum."
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00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,664
Thanks, Benevenstanciano.
82
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,296
Death sports.
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00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,183
All right, get in there.
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00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,435
You're going down.
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I want a piece of him.
86
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:14,522
You think you're pretty hot?
87
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,692
Well, we got everything
we need on you.
88
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,193
Excuse me.
89
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,030
What? What? What? What?
This better be about pizza.
90
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:26,284
Actually, I'm interested
in becoming a police officer.
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00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:42,800
Welcome aboard.
92
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,345
You did what?!
93
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,055
I borrowed your nail clipper.
94
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,348
What's the big deal?
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00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,766
Nothing. I'm just
a little edgy
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00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,018
since your mother told me
she wants to be a cop.
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00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,437
Cool. Will you bring me along
when you do evictions?
98
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,397
You got it, little buddy.
99
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,025
Marge, you being a cop
makes you the man!
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00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,318
Which makes me the woman!
101
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,195
And I have no interest in that...
102
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,197
Besides occasionally
wearing the underwear
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00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,991
which, as we discussed,
is strictly a comfort thing.
104
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,911
Homer, there's no reason
for you to feel threatened.
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00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,914
You'll always be
the man of this house.
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00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,791
Aw, thanks, honey.
107
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,711
All right,
you scrawny beanpoles,
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00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:22,090
becoming a cop is not something
that happens overnight.
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00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,593
It takes one solid weekend
of training to get that badge.
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00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,011
Forget about the badge!
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00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,013
When do we get
the freakin' guns?!
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Hey. I told you,
you don't get your gun
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until you tell me your name.
114
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,854
I've had it up to here
with your "rules"!
115
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,621
Heh. Women always have
trouble with the wall.
116
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,165
Can't ever seem
to find the door.
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Tsk, tsk, tsk.
You missed the baby.
118
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You missed the blind man...
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Sorry, Simpson.
120
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,496
Now you'll have to do
the course again.
121
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,249
I was trying to get this
magic eye thing to work.
122
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,335
Look at that! A pony!
123
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,049
Hey, everybody!
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Mom's home.
125
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,765
They didn't have my size shirt,
but you get the idea.
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00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,314
Wow, Mom, I never pictured you
127
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,232
as any kind of
authority figure before.
128
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,358
Marge, I want you
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00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,611
to take care
of yourself out there.
130
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,404
You've become very dear to me.
131
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,239
Homey, of course I will.
132
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,783
Mom, if someone shot at the mayor,
would you have to
133
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,761
throw yourself in front of him
and take the bullet?
134
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:15,995
I suppose I would.
135
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,371
What if they shot
a Coke machine?
136
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,455
No.
137
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,582
- A TV?
- No.
138
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,209
TV with a picture of
the mayor on it?
139
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,461
Whatever you do, Mom,
we'll be proud of you.
140
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,795
Well, thank you, honey.
141
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,089
As long as it's constitutional.
142
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,343
Homer, give me my pepper spray.
143
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,888
Aw, Marge. One squirt and
you're south of the border.
144
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,851
Incapacitating.
145
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,692
All right, settle,
people. People, settle!
146
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,029
People! Wood and Van Zylen,
stake out Donutland.
147
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,323
When they fry up a fresh batch,
call it in.
148
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,158
Keneally and Earhart,
back 'em up.
149
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,577
Fitz and Garcia, it's your turn
to sleep in.
150
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,541
And, Simpson... seeing how this
151
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,919
is your first day, you're
inexperienced and vulnerable.
152
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,922
Your beat
is Junkyville and Bumtown.
153
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,221
Hello, Mr. Hutz.
154
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,681
I'll have you know
155
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,325
the contents of that
dumpster are private.
156
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,560
You stick your nose in,
you'll be violating
157
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,478
attorney-dumpster
confidentiality.
158
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,272
I just wanted to say hello.
159
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,108
Hello.
160
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,246
So, you are the new
cop on the beat.
161
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,914
Okay, I know the drill.
162
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,791
What will it be...
100? 200?
163
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:44,792
200.
164
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,836
No, no. I mean, nothing.
165
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:47,919
I don't take bribes.
166
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,006
Yes, of course you don't.
167
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,633
I will just leave
this money on the table
168
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,012
with my unseeing back to
the money, on the table.
169
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,388
Apu, no.
170
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,144
That's better.
171
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,024
This is why I can't bear
172
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,735
to be in this house!
173
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,321
I got a report on a domestic
disturbance at this address.
174
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,864
Yes, indeed there is.
175
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,699
There's an inflatable
bath pillow
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00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,576
that mother and I both enjoy.
177
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,870
She claimed it was
her day to use it.
178
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,913
I maintained she was mistaken.
We quarreled.
179
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,041
Later, as I prepared to bathe,
180
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,001
I noticed to my horror
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00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:29,795
that someone had
slashed the pillow.
182
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,714
Who called the police?
183
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,132
We both did.
184
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,217
Look, why don't you two
settle down.
185
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,261
I'm sure you can get
another pillow.
186
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,639
Well, I could send it back
to Taiwan for repair.
187
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,350
But why should I have to?
I've done nothing wrong,
188
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,394
and I don't give permission
for my face to be on TV.
189
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,021
I want it blurred.
190
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,981
So Mom,
191
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,584
what are you gonna do
with your day off?
192
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,194
I just want to relax and forget
193
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,404
that I'm part
of that thin blue line
194
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,366
which stands between
civilization and chaos.
195
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,911
Bart, it's illegal
196
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,163
for you to operate
that class nine vehicle
197
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,706
without pads and a helmet.
198
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,917
- But, Mom...
- It's for your own safety.
199
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,171
Take that, safety boy.
200
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,715
This padding's
so easy on the knuckles,
201
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,592
I could punch all day.
202
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,764
I just hope they have
Us magazine in heaven.
203
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,767
He said it was his day
to use the tub pillow.
204
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,561
I can't go to the library
anymore, everybody stinks.
205
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,693
Don't stop talking
on account of me.
206
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,569
I may be a cop,
but I'm still your friend.
207
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,990
So, how are you,
Mrs. Krabappel?
208
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,409
Law-abiding.
209
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,576
I'm done.
210
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,665
Moe! I've never seen
you here before.
211
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,000
Well, these days my roots
don't stay
212
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,713
so chestnut on their own,
Officer Simpson.
213
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,090
You don't have
to call me officer.
214
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:57,174
I'm not on duty here.
215
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,258
Finished.
216
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,889
It looks nice.
217
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,891
It's a good length for you.
218
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,942
Mom's police tape
isn't a toy, Dad.
219
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,569
Shush, dear.
220
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,029
You'll wreck Daddy's fun.
221
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,198
♪ Bringing in the sheaves ♪
222
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,491
♪ Bringing in... ♪
223
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,868
My Lord!
224
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,453
Something horrible has happened!
225
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,791
Fooled you, Flanders!
226
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,502
Made you think
your family was dead.
227
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,591
Did you get it?
228
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,137
- They're not, though.
- No?
229
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,620
- But you thought they were.
- Yeah.
230
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,099
That's why it was so funny.
231
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,394
- But they're not.
- That's a good one.
232
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,856
And that's the drunk tank,
and this is Mommy's desk.
233
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,816
Mom, I know
your intentions are good,
234
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,777
but aren't the police
a protective force that
235
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,713
maintains the status quo
for the wealthy elites?
236
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,988
Don't you think we ought to
237
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,865
attack the roots
of social problems
238
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,159
instead of jamming people
into overcrowded prisons?
239
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,872
Look, Lisa... it's
McGriff the crime dog.
240
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,749
Hello, Lisa.
241
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,835
Help me bite crime.
Ruff, ruff.
242
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,130
Hey, great news, guys.
243
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:21,091
I picked up a nudie deck
for our game.
244
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,968
"The Girls of the Internet."
245
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,763
Ooh, I'd go on line
with them any day.
246
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,100
Hey, hey, we've offended Herman.
247
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,853
No. I'm just going out
for some fresh air.
248
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,856
Geez, that guy sure
likes his fresh air.
249
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,442
None of that for me.
250
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,279
Yeah... yeah.
251
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,781
Hey, Homer, you sure it's okay
252
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,304
to smoke Cuban cigars
and gamble here
253
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,575
now that your wife's a cop?
254
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,285
Are you kidding?
255
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,704
Being a cop husband
is one mighty sweet deal.
256
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,333
This police radio entertains me
with other people's miseries.
257
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:57,461
We get a free funeral
for Marge... God forbid...
258
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:01,674
And I can run background checks
on whomever I want... Mohammar.
259
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:05,803
Homer, please, please.
Ix-nay on the Ohammar-may.
260
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,972
Hey, hurry up
with the cards, Lenny.
261
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,558
I've got you clocked
at two miles per hour.
262
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,684
Come on, put that away.
263
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,227
Those radar guns
give you cancer.
264
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,855
All the more reason to hurry up.
265
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,818
Hey, what could be going
a hundred miles per...!
266
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,653
Illegal gambling in my house?
267
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,865
Your house? Your house?
268
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:29,201
It's so glamorously decorated,
I thought I was in Vegas.
269
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,744
You guys lied to me.
270
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:31,912
You said it was Vegas.
271
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,873
We'll be going.
272
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,624
We don't want no
trouble here, officer.
273
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,918
Marge, you chased away
all my poker buddies.
274
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,670
I didn't mean to.
275
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,589
You've become such a cop.
276
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,383
Not that long ago, you were
so much more to me.
277
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,052
You were a cleaner of pots,
a sewer of buttons,
278
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,388
an unplugger of hairy clogs.
279
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,015
I'm still all those things.
280
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,684
Only now
I'm cleaning up the city,
281
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,436
sewing together
the social fabric,
282
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:58,230
and unplugging the clogs
of our legal system.
283
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,815
You're cooking what for dinner?
284
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,736
Everywhere I look,
285
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,863
someone is breaking the law.
286
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,073
Dog, no leash.
287
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,075
Man, littering.
288
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,578
Horse not wearing diaper.
289
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:16,749
Car parked across
three handicapped spaces.
290
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,959
- Homer!
- Hey, Marge.
291
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,794
How's my little piglet?
292
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,296
Homer, I'm on duty.
293
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,798
That's okay. I'm supposed
to be working too.
294
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,383
You have to move your car.
295
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,844
I'll just be a second, Marge.
296
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,008
I'm going to get some beer
for those kids over there.
297
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,767
I'm gonna pretend that
I didn't hear that,
298
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,936
but you have to
move your car now.
299
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,479
I'll be right back.
300
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,898
Now keep your eyes peeled
for a real cop.
301
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,150
That's it. I'm gonna
write you a ticket.
302
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,028
- Come on, we're family!
- You're breaking the law.
303
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:49,031
I'll make you a deal...
You rip up that ticket,
304
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,616
and I'll give you back your hat.
305
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,699
- Hey!
- Whoo! Whoo!
306
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,869
Hee hee hee hee.
307
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,331
Homer!
308
00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:00,125
Taking an officer's cap
is an arrestable offense.
309
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,628
Ooh, what are you gonna do about it?
What are you gonna do?
310
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:04,505
Ooh, I'm officer Marge.
311
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:05,881
I'm going to arrest you.
312
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,716
Ooh... What?
313
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,510
Marge, not here.
314
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:12,888
Hey, you're not
really arresting me?
315
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,848
You have the right
to remain silent.
316
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,976
I choose to waive that right.
317
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,569
All right, Simpson,
you're free to go.
318
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,280
Let me just finish
this last lobster tail
319
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,364
and raspberry torte.
320
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,328
All right, Hans, time to go.
321
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,706
But he ate my last meal.
322
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,642
Well, if that's the worst thing
that happens to you today,
323
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,501
consider yourself lucky.
324
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:44,878
Are you really allowed
to execute people
325
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,046
in a local jail?
326
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,840
From this point on, no talking.
327
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:54,805
I'm sorry I had
to arrest you, Homer,
328
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,724
but what I did was right.
329
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,410
Someday when you really
need it, you'll be happy
330
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,477
there are dedicated cops
like me out there.
331
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,479
I have nothing more
to say to you, Marge.
332
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,443
I'm drawing a line
down the center of the house,
333
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,066
a la "I Love Lucy."
334
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,319
You stay on your side,
and I'll stay on my side.
335
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,613
D'
336
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,198
Boy, when Marge first told me
337
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,492
she was going to
the Police Academy,
338
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,953
I thought it would be
fun and exciting, you know,
339
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,955
like that movie...
"Spaceballs."
340
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,433
But, instead, it's been
painful and disturbing
341
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,292
like that movie
"Police Academy."
342
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,336
Homer, I'm worried
about the beer supply.
343
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,714
After this case
and the other case,
344
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,507
there's only one case left.
345
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,509
Yeah, yeah. Barney's right.
346
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,387
Yeah.
Let's get some more beer.
347
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,282
Yeah. What about some beer?
Yeah, Barney's right.
348
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,308
All right, guys, pipe down.
349
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,310
I got some more in the garage.
350
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,146
I'll get it for you, Homer.
351
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,608
I wonder why he's so eager
to go to the garage.
352
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:50,402
The garage?
Hey, fellas, the garage.
353
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,238
Ooh, la-di-da,
Mr. French man.
354
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,490
What do you call it?
355
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,573
A car hole.
356
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,789
You're late, Herman.
357
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,707
Surely, you don't mind
358
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,085
waiting for merchandise
of this quality, Mr. Jericho.
359
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,253
Looks like good stuff.
360
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:11,090
But, of course, I'll
have to sample it first.
361
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,635
- These are fabulous.
- Yeah.
362
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:18,806
Who would suspect that
they're counterfeit jeans?
363
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,808
And what better place
to make the buy
364
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,518
than in a cop's garage
365
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,353
where no one would
suspect a thing.
366
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,654
Herman, I had to come out here
to see what's so funny.
367
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,342
A counterfeit jeans ring
operating out of my car hole!
368
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,909
I'm gonna tell everyone.
369
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:39,993
Wait here.
370
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,662
Not so fast.
371
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,038
Okay.
372
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,708
Maybe you should
just stop entirely.
373
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,212
Herman, how could you?
374
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,422
We've all thought about
counterfeiting jeans
375
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,217
at one time or another,
but what about the victims?
376
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,719
Hardworking designers
like Calvin Klein,
377
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,722
Gloria Vanderbilt,
or Antoine Bugle Boy.
378
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,725
These are the people who saw
an overcrowded marketplace
379
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,269
and said, "me too."
380
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,271
Advance on him, men.
381
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:10,482
I don't think that's
a very good idea.
382
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,900
No.
383
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,652
It's Gloria Vanderbilt,
out for revenge.
384
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:18,073
No. It's Officer Simpson,
of the police.
385
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,706
Herman, your beef is with me.
386
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:26,957
Leave the girl out of this!
387
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,083
Okay.
388
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,668
Homer!
389
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,253
It's too late for me, Marge.
390
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,338
Sell the jeans
and live like a queen!
391
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,010
Is Bart home?
392
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,928
Just taking Maggie for a stroll.
393
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,435
Well, I guess I am putting up
the Halloweenie decorations
394
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,644
a little early.
395
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,438
Criticism accepted.
396
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,398
Marge!
397
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,069
Bust him, Mom!
398
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,321
Go back to bed.
399
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,406
Don't make me come up there.
400
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,788
Looks like your wife
401
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,916
is embarking up the wrong tree.
402
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,129
Freeze!
403
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,756
Every mother knows
404
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,674
the secret entrance
to her son's tree house.
405
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:21,011
Marge, you saved my life.
406
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,930
I'm sorry I teased you.
407
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,932
You're a really good cop.
408
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,059
I'm proud of you.
409
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,395
So long. Got to catch the 501.
410
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,521
He's getting away!
411
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,773
You blew it, Marge!
412
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,149
I don't think so.
413
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,943
Foiled by my own
414
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,403
shoddy merchandise!
415
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,465
That's my ambulance.
I called for it four hours ago.
416
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,909
- Marge, how did you know...
- That the pants would rip?
417
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,970
- No. What I was wondering...
- Years of buying pants
418
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,121
for two active children
and a full-seated husband
419
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,707
has given me a sixth sense
for shoddy stitching,
420
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,918
which these jeans
have in spades.
421
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,419
That's some nice work, Simpson,
422
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,463
but we can't hold him...
There's no evidence.
423
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,827
Yes, there is. There's a garage
full of counterfeit jeans.
424
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,926
They've,
mysteriously disappeared.
425
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,264
- Looking good, boys.
- That's it.
426
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,724
There's too much corruption
on this force.
427
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,934
I quit.
428
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,406
Sorry to lose you, Simpson.
429
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,827
I don't think
they're coming back.
430
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,370
Well, that does it.
That does it.
431
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,871
I'm looking at his cards.
432
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:31,999
Crap. I fold.
433
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,009
♪♪
434
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:26,887
Shh!
435
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,309
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
30647
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