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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
3
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Aah!
4
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,415
Looks like you got a leak.
5
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:41,934
Could you start
fixing it pretty soon?
6
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,478
The basement is
getting awfully flooded
7
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and I think
the cat's down there.
8
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Yeah, I probably won't be able
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00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,468
to get the parts I need
for two... three weeks.
10
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,804
And that's if I order them
today, which I won't.
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,930
Dear.
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Emergency call.
Gotta go.
13
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,979
What should we do
until you get back?
14
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Put a pan down there.
15
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It didn't work.
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Lousy traffic jams.
17
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The traffic report will
get me out of this one.
18
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This is Arnie Pie.
19
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Looks like we got
a little accident
20
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that's backing traffic up
21
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as far as this reporter can see.
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Hi, Dad.
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Hey, how come you guys got
such great parking places?
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It's a secret.
25
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Shh! Shut up.
26
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All right, Econo-save,
you just made the list.
27
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,964
Hey, will you guys
help me fix my...
28
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:17,011
Hey, how come you guys
got better chairs than me?
29
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,263
It's a secret.
30
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,722
Shh! Shut up.
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Hey, you guys want
to go bowling tonight?
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Nah, we're busy.
33
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Yeah, we got things to do.
34
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Like what?
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It's a secret.
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Shut up.
37
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So anyway, Lenny and Karl
are never around on Wednesdays,
38
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and they don't tell me
where they go.
39
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,372
It's like a conspiracy.
40
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A conspiracy?
You think they might be involved
41
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,668
in the Kennedy assassination
in some way?
42
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,546
I do now.
43
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,941
Anyway, I'm going to follow them
tonight and see where they go.
44
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,342
Homer, don't start
stalking people again.
45
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It's so illegal.
46
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,513
Remember when you were stalking
47
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Charles Kuralt because you
thought he dug up your garden?
48
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Well, something did.
49
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,768
I don't want you
stalking anyone tonight.
50
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,729
Okay, have it
your own way, Marge.
51
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I'll be back in a minute.
52
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,526
I'm going outside...
53
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,819
to...
54
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,362
stalk...
55
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Lenny and Karl...
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00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,116
D'
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All I had to do is
follow the yellow drip road.
58
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There's our
secret meeting place.
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- Yes, let's go inside.
- Sounds good.
60
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Whoop.
61
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,913
I can see everything.
62
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,957
And they're none the wiser.
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00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,586
Ooh. Ooh...
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00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,844
- An intruder.
- He will pay the ultimate price.
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Yes, the ultimate price.
66
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,349
Get out of here.
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00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,270
I saw weird stuff
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in that place last night.
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00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,107
Weird, strange, sick, twisted,
70
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,359
eerie, godless, evil stuff,
71
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,986
and I want in.
72
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,446
We don't know what
you're talking about, Homer.
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And you can't join
the Stonecutters
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00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,533
because it's too exclusive.
75
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:47,704
Well, it was a real nice secret
organization we had once.
76
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,580
Stonecutters?
How do I join?
77
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,708
There are only two ways
to gain membership.
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00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,251
Be the son of a Stonecutter...
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00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,544
Next.
80
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,004
Or save the life
of a Stonecutter.
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Hey!
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I saved your life.
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That egg sandwich could have
killed you by cholesterol.
84
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,095
Forget it, Homer.
85
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:06,282
While it has been established
that eggs contain cholesterol,
86
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,118
it has not yet been proven conclusively
that they actually raise the level
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00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,811
of serum cholesterol
in the human bloodstream.
88
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:12,997
So one of those
Egg Council creeps
89
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,105
got to you too?
90
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,982
You got it all wrong, Homer.
91
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,942
It's not like that.
92
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You'd better run, egg!
93
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,698
Why don't people like me, Marge?
94
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,743
Everyone likes you.
You're a wonderful person.
95
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,244
Why don't those stupid idiots
96
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,038
let me in their crappy club
for jerks?
97
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,622
I'm sure it's nothing
personal, Homer.
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00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,291
It is.
99
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,626
It's been happening
to me all my life.
100
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,464
Hey, Billy! Hey, Joey!
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Come on in.
There's plenty of room.
102
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,635
- Sorry. Not you, Homer.
- Why not?
103
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,640
But you let in Homer Glumplet.
104
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,727
It says "No Homers."
105
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,395
We're allowed to have one.
106
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,524
I felt so left out.
107
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,109
Kids can be so cruel.
108
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,486
We can?
109
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,904
Thanks, Mom!
110
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,697
Cut it out, Bart!
111
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,910
I'd give anything to get in
to the Stonecutters.
112
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:09,911
What do they do there, Dad?
113
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,329
I'm a member.
114
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,748
What do they do?
What don't they do?
115
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,793
They do
so many things, they never stop.
116
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,712
The things they do there...
My stars!
117
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,148
You don't know
what they do there, do you?
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00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,006
Not as such, no.
119
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,424
I'm a Stonecutter.
120
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,259
Dad, remember
those self-hypnosis classes
121
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,220
we took to help
us ignore Grampa?
122
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,055
Do I ever.
It's five years later,
123
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,681
and I still think I'm a chicken.
124
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,934
- I'm a chicken, Marge.
- I know, I know.
125
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,936
Maybe we should be listening
to him, now.
126
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,354
I'm a member.
127
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,981
- What?
- What?
128
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,234
You're a member of
the Stonecutters, Grampa?
129
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,736
Sure, let's see.
130
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,948
I'm an Elk, a Mason,
a communist.
131
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,992
I'm the president
of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance
132
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,577
for some reason.
133
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,996
Here it is!
The Stonecutters!
134
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,290
This is it!
My ticket in.
135
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,335
They have to let me join
if I'm the son of a member.
136
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,671
I'll take this
communist one too.
137
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,673
Coming through.
Can't throw me out.
138
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,508
My father's a member.
139
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,010
- I'm in. I'm in.
- Okay, okay. Homer, you're in.
140
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,096
Just don't point
that thing at me.
141
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,722
Thanks, Lenny.
142
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,933
When am I going to be initiated?
143
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,518
As soon as Number One gets here.
144
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,395
Number One?
145
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:20,356
What kind of stupid
wiener name is that?
146
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,860
Hello. My name is Number One.
147
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,779
And so forth.
148
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,173
We call each other by number,
not by name.
149
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,199
Carl is number 14.
I'm number 12.
150
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,784
Burnsie is number 29.
151
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,578
You outrank Mr. Burns here?
152
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,037
Sure, watch.
153
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,622
Hey, 29, get over here.
154
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,503
Thank you, sir.
May I have another?
155
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,008
Patience, Monty.
156
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,509
Climb the ladder.
157
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,888
Is he the leader?
158
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,264
Of this chapter.
159
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:54,658
There are chapters
all over the world.
160
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,392
And it has been foretold
161
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,394
that someday
a chosen one will...
162
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,980
Okay, okay. I didn't ask
for your life story.
163
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,736
Let the initiation begin.
164
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:10,490
All Stonecutters must take
the leap of faith.
165
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,783
If you survive
this five-story plunge,
166
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,327
your character will be proven.
167
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,872
Happy landings.
168
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,303
I think I have to do it again.
169
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,430
My blindfold came off.
170
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,391
This ritual is called
"Crossing the Desert."
171
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,228
Ooh! Ooh!
172
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:43,314
And this we call
"The Unblinking Eye."
173
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:46,859
Ooh! Ooh!
174
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,737
Hey, have you ever noticed
that the "Crossing the Desert"
175
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,114
Is a lot like
"The Unblinking Eye"?
176
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,367
It's exactly like
"The Wreck of the Hesperus."
177
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,244
And now the final ordeal.
178
00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,248
"The Paddling of the
Swollen Ass with Paddles."
179
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:06,337
And by the sacred parchment,
I swear
180
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,131
that if I reveal the secrets
of the Stonecutters
181
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,883
may my stomach become bloated
182
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,554
and my head be plucked
of all but three hairs.
183
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,615
Um, I think he should have
to take a different oath.
184
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,641
Everyone takes the same oath.
185
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,310
Welcome to the club, number 908.
186
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,355
You have joined the Sacred Order
of the Stonecutters
187
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,608
who since ancient times have
split the rocks of ignorance
188
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,653
that obscure the light
of knowledge and truth.
189
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,947
Now let's all get drunk
and play ping-pong.
190
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,949
'Cause he's already
kind of heavy, you know, and...
191
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,871
Well, to be honest
192
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,499
I never got around to ordering
that part for you.
193
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,294
So it's still going
to be a couple of weeks.
194
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,837
Really?
195
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,422
Yes.
196
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:50,881
Really?
197
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,341
Yes. Yes!
198
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,176
But what if I were
to shake your hand
199
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,344
in this wise?
200
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,221
Wah-wah-weh!
201
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,392
Whoa. I didn't realize
you were a member.
202
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,361
So long, suckers.
203
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,369
♪♪
204
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,375
Same old space, Dad?
205
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,295
Yep, but they gave me
these roller blades
206
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,964
so I can glide
to the front door.
207
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,382
Whoa. Whoa.
208
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,550
Whoa!
209
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,093
Whoa!
210
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,553
Sweet.
211
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,766
Jealous?
212
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,101
Well, no.
We've got the same chair.
213
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,770
You're jealous.
214
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,355
Your membership pack.
215
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,273
What's this?
216
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,984
Put that sticker on your car
so you won't get any tickets.
217
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,004
This other one keeps paramedics
from stealing your wallet
218
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,279
while they're working on you.
219
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,156
And don't bother
calling 911 anymore.
220
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,491
Here's the real number.
221
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,909
Ooh.
222
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,704
I still don't believe
223
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,040
all the Founding Fathers
were Stonecutters.
224
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:09,001
That's because you trust
your stupid school books.
225
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,961
Here's what really happened
226
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,005
at the signing of the
Declaration of Independence.
227
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,928
And a nation is born.
228
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,930
Now let us party
229
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,140
like 'twas 1799!
230
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,728
Quaff! Quaff! Quaff! Quaff!
231
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,897
Quaff! Quaff! Quaff! Quaff!
232
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,148
Quaff! Quaff! Quaff!
233
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,150
Please, sir,
234
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,735
you're destroying
my establishment.
235
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,278
We just created
236
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,988
the greatest democracy on earth,
237
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,616
you low-life commoner!
238
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,020
You want to see how Davy Crockett
really died at the Alamo?
239
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,412
You must be 18.
240
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:47,957
Homer, a man who called himself
"you-know-who"
241
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,917
just invited you
to a secret "wink-wink"
242
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,711
at the "you-know-what."
243
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,505
You certainly are popular
now that you're a Stonecutter.
244
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,382
Yeah.
245
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,760
"Beer busts, beer blasts,
keggers, stein hoists,
246
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,637
A.A. meetings,
beer night."
247
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,389
It's wonderful, Marge.
248
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:07,184
I've never felt so accepted
in all my life.
249
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,770
These people look deep
within my soul
250
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,230
and assign me a number
251
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,357
based on the order
in which I joined.
252
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,068
♪♪
253
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,740
♪ Who controls
the British crown? ♪
254
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,075
♪ Who keeps
the metric system down? ♪
255
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,994
♪ We do ♪
256
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,037
♪ We do ♪
257
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,248
♪ Who leaves Atlantis
off the maps? ♪
258
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,459
♪ Who keeps the Martians
under wraps? ♪
259
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,002
♪ We do ♪
260
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,212
♪ We do ♪
261
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:39,633
♪ Who holds back
the electric car? ♪
262
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,386
♪ Who makes Steve Guttenberg ♪
263
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,929
♪ A star? ♪
264
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,890
♪ We do ♪
265
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,225
♪ We do ♪
266
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,436
♪ Who robs cave fish
of their sight? ♪
267
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,438
♪ Who rigs every Oscar night? ♪
268
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,608
♪ We do ♪
269
00:12:55,691 --> 00:13:00,404
♪ We do! ♪
270
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,739
Thank you.
271
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,657
Tonight we are here
to commemorate
272
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,660
our glorious society's
1,500th anniversary.
273
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,789
And in honor of this
momentous occasion,
274
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,248
we're having ribs.
275
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,545
I need a bib.
276
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,172
If I slop any on my shirt,
277
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,135
I could lose the respect
of my beloved brethren.
278
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,802
So let us rejoice
and enjoy our meal
279
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:26,555
in the shadow of the hallowed
sacred parchment.
280
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,394
- Homer.
. Yeah.
281
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,188
- Thanks, Lenny.
- This is terrible.
282
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,857
This is just appalling and outrageous.
283
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,318
What? Did I miss something?
284
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:42,780
God!
285
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:45,032
No! Homer, no!
This is outrageous!
286
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,575
You can't do that. No!
287
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,410
You really are stupid!
288
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,377
And the official
Stonecutter underwear, too.
289
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,753
Aw...
290
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,510
Please don't kick me out.
291
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,387
This society's everything to me.
292
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,680
Please give me another chance.
293
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,723
I've learned my lesson!
294
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,725
I've learned my lesson!
295
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,436
That's it!
296
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,914
- How can we punish him further?
- Get him out.
297
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,065
- Sorry.
- Homer Simpson,
298
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:21,861
for your continuing
and baffling desecration
299
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,071
of our beloved sacred parchment,
300
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,282
you are hereby banished
301
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,033
from the Stonecutters forever.
302
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,494
And as a final humiliation,
303
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,163
you must walk home naked,
304
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,750
dragging behind you
the Stone of Shame.
305
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:46,926
The mark!
306
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,554
That.
307
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:50,848
It's just a birthmark.
308
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,224
And I'll thank you not to stare.
309
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,143
He's the chosen one.
310
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,648
You are the chosen one
311
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,484
whom the sacred parchment
prophesied
312
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,944
would lead us to glory!
313
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,738
Now, to the top
314
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,198
of Mount Springfield
for the coronation!
315
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,702
- Remove the Stone of Shame.
- Woo-hoo!
316
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:16,582
Attach the Stone of Triumph!
317
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,556
Wow.
318
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,516
Mental note: Don't overdo this.
319
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,316
Peekaboo!
320
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,782
I always wondered
if there was a god
321
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,283
and now I know.
322
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,743
There is, and it's me.
323
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,286
You're not a god, Homer.
324
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,497
Remember, Dad,
all glory is fleeting.
325
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,541
- So?
- Beware the Ides of March.
326
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,752
- No.
- Dad, I know you think you're happy now,
327
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,420
but it's not gonna last forever.
328
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,297
- Everything lasts forever.
- Don't you see?
329
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,049
Getting what
you want all the time
330
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,944
will ultimately leave you
unfulfilled and joyless.
331
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,469
Remove the girl.
332
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:13,055
Dad, you're not
with your Stonecutters now.
333
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,258
There are no lackeys around
to carry out your every...
334
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,984
Another strike
for the chosen one!
335
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,819
- Hurrah!
- Whoo-hoo!
336
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,703
- Well, that's just an excellent break.
- Most assuredly.
337
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,371
- Absolutely.
- Whoo-hoo!
338
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,129
I'm out.
339
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,589
No, no, no, no, Homer.
340
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,676
You have the royal,
um... sampler.
341
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,803
I win again, don't I?
342
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:53,887
Whoo-hoo.
343
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,976
You know, I think you guys
are letting me win.
344
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:02,730
No! No, no! No! No!
345
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,566
From now on, I want you
to be honest with me.
346
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:07,359
I mean, I'm not perfect, right?
347
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,870
Run.
348
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,204
Aah!
349
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,729
The Grand Exalted
Leader requests
350
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,920
a moment of your time.
351
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,505
Class dismissed.
352
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,299
Yay!
353
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,134
Yay!
354
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,054
Lisa, you were right.
355
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,388
My happiness is fading.
356
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,640
You're experiencing
spiritual emptiness
357
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,309
because your power
has isolated you
358
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,727
from other human beings.
359
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,270
What do you mean, isolated?
360
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,192
Well, maybe you could reach
out to the community
361
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,526
and help other people.
362
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:53,072
I could help others.
363
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:56,492
I'll get a bunch of monkeys,
dress them up,
364
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,244
and make them reenact the Civil War.
365
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,913
Dad, that doesn't help people.
366
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,664
Couldn't hurt,
367
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,500
unless the monkeys
started hurting people,
368
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,627
which they almost
certainly would.
369
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,383
Brothers! Brothers!
370
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:19,139
Brothers, I've learned
a wonderful lesson.
371
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,934
Helping others
makes our own lives better
372
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,019
and makes us better people,
373
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,106
so instead of just shooting
pool and drinking beer,
374
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,150
let us Stonecutters
use what we have
375
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,860
to help the less fortunate.
376
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,241
He's gone mad with power
377
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,159
like that Albert Schweitzer guy.
378
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,459
Whee!
379
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,297
Ooh, for the love of God!
380
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,133
Somebody get the jaws of life!
381
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,512
Higher!
382
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,806
Higher!
383
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,183
I'll give you higher,
my filthy little urchin.
384
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:10,065
You've won this round...
385
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:19,575
Thank you,
Mr. Simpson.
386
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,577
It looks so much better.
387
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,121
A beautiful sky blue.
388
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,042
You were right, Lisa.
389
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,212
I've never felt
so spiritually fulfilled.
390
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,007
And with my brothers,
the Stonecutters, behind me,
391
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,886
this is the beginning
of a better world for all of us.
392
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,763
- We got to kill him!
- Take it easy, Moe.
393
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,974
Let's hear from
the Stonecutter World Council
394
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,852
- before we act too rashly.
- Kill him!
395
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,520
- Kill him!
- Kill the fool!
396
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,105
Afraid I have to disagree
397
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,441
with Orville, Jack, and Mister.
398
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,860
Can't we just do something
to his voice box?
399
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,154
We might as well face the truth.
400
00:19:57,237 --> 00:20:01,241
As long as we're Stonecutters,
he will control our lives.
401
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:06,371
Maybe, but maybe we don't want
to be Stonecutters no more.
402
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:14,421
Hey, this much better than
the old Stonecutter hall.
403
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,839
Silence!
404
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,467
I now call to order
the first meeting
405
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,470
of the Ancient Mystic Society
of...
406
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,804
No Homers.
407
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,893
Hey, fellas, can I join?
408
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,562
Sorry. No Homers.
409
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,564
Aw!
410
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,025
Loyal Stonecutters!
411
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:38,403
Let us begin our reenactment
of the Battle of Gettysburg!
412
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,075
Homer, you can't
just keep hanging out
413
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,868
with these colobus monkeys.
414
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,287
Somebody's going
to get parasites.
415
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:51,416
Marge, kids, I miss my club.
416
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,503
Homie.
417
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:58,215
You know, you are a member
of a very exclusive club.
418
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,801
- The Black Panthers?
- No.
419
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,636
The Family Simpson,
420
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,389
which has just five members.
421
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,307
And only two of those members
422
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,892
have special rings.
423
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,686
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
424
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,855
I meant our wedding rings!
425
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,901
You know, Marge, you're right.
426
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:21,363
The Simpson Family is
the best possible club
427
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,781
I could belong to.
428
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,829
Ack!
429
00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,014
This club better be worth it!
430
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,707
Ee!
431
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,292
All right, all right.
432
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,376
It's Lisa's turn.
433
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,760
♪♪
434
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,514
♪ Who controls
the British crown? ♪
435
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,766
♪ Who keeps
the metric system down? ♪
436
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:53,979
♪ We do, we do ♪
437
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,398
♪ Who keeps Atlantis
off the maps? ♪
438
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,001
♪ Who keeps the Martians
under wraps? ♪
439
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:02,529
♪ We do, we do ♪
440
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:06,575
♪ Who holds back
the electric car? ♪
441
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,036
♪ Who makes Steve Guttenberg ♪
442
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,954
♪ A star? ♪
443
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:15,000
♪ We do, we do ♪
444
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:17,127
♪ Who robs cave fish
of their sight? ♪
445
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,254
♪ Who rigs every
Oscar night? ♪
446
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:22,591
♪ We do ♪
447
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,635
♪ We do! ♪
448
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,179
- Shh!
- Shut up!
449
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,019
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
30805
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