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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
4
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,037
Damn F.D.A.
Why can't it all be marshmallow?
5
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,956
Ew, Bart, don't put
the non-marshmallow pieces
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00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,333
back in the box,
they go in the trash.
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Ooh, you like sweets, kids?
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I know a place that's sweeter
than sweetness itself.
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In this sweet place,
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earthly doughnuts
are sour as poison.
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You'd spit them out, you would.
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00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:59,434
I'm talking about
the candy industry trade show.
13
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:00,852
How did you get tickets?
14
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,979
They hid them in every millionth
Krusty Klump Bar
15
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and Krusty
Klump Bar with almonds.
16
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,863
Hey, Hey, Hey!
17
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,741
I have asked you nicely
not to mangle my merchandise.
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00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,077
You leave me no choice
but to ask you nicely again.
19
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Can I come to the candy show?
20
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,748
- No! Me! Me!
- Can I?
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Sorry kids, but this
is the one event
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I want my darling wife
by my side.
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Well, thank you, Homer,
but take one of the kids.
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Marge, they can't carry
enough candy.
25
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They have puny little muscles.
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Not big, ropy ones like you.
27
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You go, Mom,
for the greater good.
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For the greater good.
29
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Homer, are all
these pockets necessary?
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They wouldn't be if you were willing
to sit in a hollowed-out wheelchair.
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That's the baby-sitter.
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No one in town will
sit for you two anymore.
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00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,799
I had to choose between
a grad student at the university
34
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,533
and a scary-looking hobo.
35
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Please the hobo,
please the hobo, please the hobo.
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Hi. I'm Ashley Grant.
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Ashley Grant!
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You gave a talk on women's
issues at my school
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,586
on how we don't have
to be second-class citizens.
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00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,297
Mom, how can you leave us
with this maniac?
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00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,981
Hurry, Marge! If we get there early,
we can get our pictures taken
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00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:15,593
with the two surviving
musketeers.
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00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,595
There's also a baby
somewhere upstairs.
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So, you're one of those
45
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,310
"don't call me a chick" chicks?
46
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,063
Sorry about
my unenlightened brother.
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He will make the next few hours
a living hell.
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I don't know.
49
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,778
See this, Bart?
50
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,738
Disemboweler IV.
51
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,782
The game where condemned
criminals
52
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,909
dig at each other
with rusty hooks.
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Do a little housework,
54
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and you can
play for five minutes.
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No way.
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Yes'm.
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00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,003
See, Lisa?
Males aren't hard to tame.
58
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They all follow their
video cartridges.
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00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,434
Mr. Goodbar to the front desk.
60
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,312
The front desk is looking
for Mr. Goodbar.
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00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:11,524
I feel like a kid
in some kind of a store.
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Yeah! Ooh!
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Great.
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Exquisite.
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You'll do well.
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Give me those.
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00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,913
As you can see, I have created
a lemon ball so sour
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00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:28,625
it can only be safely contained
in a magnetic field.
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00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,670
The candy, known as 77-X-42...
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Where the hell is the candy?
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I don't know.
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Hey, sir, try our wax lips.
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It's the candy of 1,000 uses.
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Like what?
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00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,807
One, a humorous substitute
for your own lips.
76
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,685
- Keep going.
- Two...
77
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,104
Ooh, I'm needed in the basement.
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00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,079
You're going to have
to put some sugar
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00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,248
on that celery or get out, ma'am.
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Ooh, Gummi Bears,
Gummi Calves' Heads,
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Gummi Jaw Breakers.
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What's that?
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That is the rarest
Gummi of them all.
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The Gummi Venus de Milo.
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Carved by Gummi artisans
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who work exclusively
in the medium of Gummi.
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00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,067
Will you two stop
saying Gummi so much?
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Must have rare Gummi.
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Distract the salesman.
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00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,108
No, I won't make a spectacle
out of myself any further.
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00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,913
Whoa!
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00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,498
How'd they get there?
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00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,047
Now, this is going to take
all my skill.
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00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,217
Halt, halt!
95
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Run, Marge!
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00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,429
Save the booty!
97
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,347
After him!
He has the Gummi!
98
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,822
See you in hell, candy boys!
99
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,004
Hey, Lise, I found
a big caramel deposit
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00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,005
at the small of her back.
101
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I'm coming.
102
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:46,928
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
103
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,115
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
104
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Where's my Gummi de Milo?
105
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Okay, don't panic.
106
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She can't have gotten far.
107
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She has no arms.
108
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I'm sure it'll turn up.
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Take the baby-sitter home now.
110
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,316
She's been sitting
in the car for 20 minutes.
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00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:00,399
Relax Marge, there's plenty
for her to do in there.
112
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,614
See? She's having
the time of her life.
113
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,493
So, a graduate student?
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00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,036
How come you guys
can go to the moon
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00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,662
but you can't make
my shoes smell good?
116
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- I'm sorry.
- Nobody's blaming you.
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Hey, would you take
the wheel for a second,
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I have to scratch myself
in two places at once.
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Just drop me off here.
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Precious Venus.
121
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,059
Thank you.
122
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:46,072
Hey, kids, lots of candy
left for breakfast.
123
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Why don't we give it
to some needy children then?
124
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,077
No.
125
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,002
No, the candy conventioneers
tracked us down.
126
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,966
There he is... there's the man
that sexually harassed me.
127
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:08,094
For a minute there,
I thought I was in big trouble.
128
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,679
It's just a... D'
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00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:15,852
2-4-6-8,
Homer's crime was very great.
130
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,187
Great meaning large or immense.
131
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,731
We use it
in the pejorative sense.
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Marge, I swear
I didn't touch her.
133
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,277
You know how bashful I am.
134
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,903
I can't even say
the word "titmouse"
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00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,405
without giggling
like a school girl.
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00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,826
At any rate, I believe you.
137
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,203
And I think you should go outside
and straighten this out.
138
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,831
Some of their chants are
very catchy and memorable.
139
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You grabbed me in the car!
140
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,838
That... no. I was just
grabbing a Gummi Venus de Milo
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00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,506
that got stuck to your pants.
142
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,091
Yeah, right.
143
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,926
That's the oldest
excuse in the book.
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00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,263
Come on, I'm a decent guy.
145
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,481
Why would anybody want
to touch a girl's butt?
146
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,357
That's where cooties come from.
147
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,776
Dad, I don't understand.
What is she saying you did?
148
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,405
Well Lisa, remember that postcard
Grampa sent us from Florida
149
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,449
of that alligator
biting that woman's bottom?
150
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,410
Yeah!
That was brilliant!
151
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,829
That's right.
We all thought it was hilarious,
152
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,998
but it turns out we were wrong.
153
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,626
That alligator was
sexually harassing that woman.
154
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,920
And the dog in the Coppertone ads?
Same deal, Dad?
155
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,796
That's kind of a gray area.
156
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,423
We know you're innocent, Dad.
157
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,674
Thanks, kids.
158
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,092
They seem to be building
159
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,261
some sort of a shanty town.
160
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,603
Do your worst, protesters.
161
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,356
You can't stop me
from living my life.
162
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,358
No respect for women, no peace.
163
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,235
Just try to push
the right buttons now.
164
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,612
We aren't crazy about
nuclear power either!
165
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,656
You people aren't
allowed in here.
166
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,658
It's okay.
They're with me.
167
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,834
They're ruining my whole life.
168
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,796
Marge, please, this is where
I need you the most.
169
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,065
I'm counting on you
to do something
170
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,799
or say something
to make it all better.
171
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,842
Okay... go.
172
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,220
Homer...
173
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,682
I already talked to the indignation
coordinator out on the lawn today.
174
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,046
I told her you were a decent man,
but she wouldn't listen.
175
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,781
Besides standing by you
and supporting you,
176
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,163
there isn't anything
more I can do.
177
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,273
You mean I'm on my own?
178
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,941
I've never been on my own.
179
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,943
No, on own... on own...
180
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,988
I need help.
God, help me.
181
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,489
Help me, God!
182
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,788
Ye-llo?
183
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,417
Hello, Homer.
This is God... frey Jones
184
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,335
from the TV magazine
show Rock Bottom.
185
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,462
We're aware of your problems,
186
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,840
and, Mr. Simpson,
we want to help.
187
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,884
I saw that report
you did on Sasquatch.
188
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,429
It was fair and even-handed.
189
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:57,763
I'll do it!
190
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,599
Somebody had to take
the baby-sitter home.
191
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,643
Then I noticed she was sitting
on the Gummi Venus,
192
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,270
so I grabbed it off her.
193
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:08,399
Just thinking
about that sweet, sweet candy...
194
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:14,447
I just wish
I had another one right now.
195
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,865
But the most
important thing is...
196
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,617
That was really
great, Mr. Simpson.
197
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,035
We got everything we need.
198
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,746
Okay. Say, can you introduce
me to the Sasquatch?
199
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,581
I like his style.
200
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,336
He-he!
201
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,255
Here comes the bouncing
ball of justice!
202
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,965
Tonight on Rock Bottom,
203
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:36,594
we go undercover at a sex farm
for sex hookers.
204
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,930
I keep telling you,
I just grow sorghum here.
205
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,849
And where are the hookers?
206
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,435
Round back. Oops.
207
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,978
But first...
208
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,122
She was a university
honors student
209
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,814
who devoted her life to kids
210
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,816
until the night
a grossly overweight pervert
211
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:55,237
named Homer Simpson gave her
a crash course in depravity.
212
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,864
"Baby-sitter and the Beast."
213
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,783
Aw, crap!
214
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,868
Somebody had to take
the baby-sitter home.
215
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,829
Then I noticed she was
sitting on her sweet can...
216
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,873
so I grabbed her sweet can.
217
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,334
Just thinking about her can...
218
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,629
I just wish I had her sweet,
sweet, s-s-sweet can.
219
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,799
So, Mr. Simpson, you admit
you grabbed her can?
220
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,801
What do you have to say
in your defense?
221
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:22,306
Mr. Simpson, your silence will
only incriminate you further.
222
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,517
No, Mr. Simpson.
Don't take your anger out on me!
223
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,937
Get back! Get back!
Mr. Simpson, no!
224
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,540
Dramatization...
May not have happened.
225
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:35,653
Marge, kids, everything's
going to be just fine.
226
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,280
Now go upstairs
and pack your bags.
227
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,824
We're going
to start a new life...
228
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,492
under the sea.
229
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,382
♪ Under the sea ♪
230
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,385
♪ Under the sea ♪
231
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,762
♪ There'll be no accusations ♪
232
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,806
♪ Just friendly crustaceans ♪
233
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,349
♪ Under the sea ♪
234
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,257
Homer, that's your solution to everything.
To move under the sea.
235
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,074
It's not going to happen!
236
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,285
Not with that attitude.
237
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,328
Look, maybe this whole
thing will blow over.
238
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,878
It didn't blow over, Marge.
239
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,671
Nothing ever blows over for me.
240
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,482
Simpson Scandal update: Homer
sleeps nude in an oxygen tent
241
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,443
which he believes
gives him sexual powers.
242
00:12:57,526 --> 00:13:00,613
Hey, that's a half-truth!
243
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,698
I don't know Homer Simpson.
244
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,617
I never met Homer Simpson
245
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:09,497
or had any contact
with him, but...
246
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,248
I'm sorry.
I-I can't go on.
247
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,958
That's okay.
248
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,795
Your tears say more
than real evidence ever could.
249
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,131
Today on Ben...
Mothers and runaway daughters
250
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,551
reunited by their hatred
of Homer Simpson.
251
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,429
And here's your host,
Gentle Ben.
252
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,521
I just have one thing to say...
253
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,189
Let's have less Homer Simpsons
254
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,191
and more money
for public schools.
255
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,945
Ben, I have a question...
256
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,824
No, Ben. No!
257
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,750
♪♪
258
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,545
And now we return
259
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,255
to Fox Night at the Movies...
260
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,607
Homer S.: Portrait of
an Ass-Grabber.
261
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,341
Starring Dennis Franz.
262
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:06,720
Ooh! Portrait!
Sounds classy.
263
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,264
Doesn't it?
264
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,236
No, Mr. Simpson!
A cat is a living creature.
265
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,821
I don't care.
266
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,078
Now, I'm gonna
grab me somethin' sweet!
267
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:34,331
No, Mr. Simpson!
That's sexual harassment.
268
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,917
If you keep it up, I'll yell so
loud the whole country'll hear.
269
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,422
With a man in the White House?
270
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:42,673
Not likely.
271
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:50,097
This is hour 57 of our live,
round-the-clock coverage
272
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,099
outside the Simpson Estate.
273
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,994
Remember, by the way,
to tune in tonight at 8:00
274
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,686
for highlights of today's vigil
275
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,354
including when
the garbage man came
276
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,607
and when Marge Simpson
put the cat out...
277
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:00,970
possibly because
it was harassed.
278
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,444
We don't know.
279
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,547
Of course, there's no way to see
into the Simpson home
280
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,407
without some kind of
infrared heat-sensitive camera.
281
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,492
So, let's turn it on.
282
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,996
Now, this technology is new
to me, but I'm pretty sure
283
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,082
that's Homer Simpson
in the oven rotating slowly.
284
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,377
His body temperature has
risen to over 400 degrees.
285
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,755
He's literally stewing
in his own juices.
286
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,257
Now, here are some results
from our phone-in poll.
287
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,802
95% of the people believe
Homer Simpson is guilty.
288
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,055
Of course, this is just
a television poll
289
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:34,475
which is not legally binding,
unless Proposition 304 passes,
290
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,060
and we all pray it will.
291
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,521
Aw, I don't have
a friend in the world.
292
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,858
We're Homer's true friends!
293
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,568
Really?
294
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,528
Come on. Let us through,
you vultures.
295
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,573
Marge, it's a miracle.
296
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,408
How can you judge this man
297
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,370
without talking to the people
who know him best?
298
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,372
We got the real dirt
on Homer Simpson
299
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,666
and the bidding starts at 10 Gs!
300
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,501
- I bid 10 Gs!
- 10-5 Gs!
301
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,294
- Fifteen!
- Fifteen-five!
302
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,047
I need a hug.
303
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,804
How come you guys hesitated?
304
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:14,556
Sorry, Dad. We do believe
in you. We really do.
305
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,433
It's just hard not
to listen to TV.
306
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,643
It's spent so much more time
307
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,894
raising us than you have.
308
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,064
Maybe TV is right.
309
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,857
TV's always right.
310
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,659
Are you hugging the TV?
311
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,661
No.
312
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:46,046
And the number one reference
that I am running into the ground
313
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,341
is Homer Simpson!
314
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,850
Ay-yi-yi!
Es Homer Simpson!
315
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,811
Me ha molestado!
316
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,565
I like it better
when they're making fun
317
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:06,567
of people who aren't me.
318
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,777
I know!
Evening at the Improv.
319
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,405
They never talk about anything
beyond the 1980s.
320
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,157
See, I think about weird stuff.
321
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,744
Like, what would happen
if E.T. and Mr. T. had a baby.
322
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,246
Well, you'd get
Mr. E.T., wouldn't you?
323
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,499
And you know, I think he'd
sound a little something like this.
324
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,126
I pity the fool who doesn't
325
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,004
phone home.
326
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,340
Ooh, I wouldn't
want to be Mr. T. right now.
327
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,593
Homer, the kids
have a great idea
328
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:33,927
how you can clear your name!
329
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,055
The media is making
a monster out of you
330
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,490
because they don't care
about the truth.
331
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,224
All they care about
is entertainment.
332
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,119
Well, you need a forum
where they don't even know
333
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,936
the meaning of the word
entertainment.
334
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,855
Public Access television.
335
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,690
Aw, but those shows
all look so crummy.
336
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,609
Well, we can dress it up a bit.
337
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,737
We can bring a fern,
and a folding chair from the garage
338
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,990
and the most decorative thing
of all... the truth.
339
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:05,793
There are only 49 stars
on that flag.
340
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,045
I'll be deep in the cold,
cold ground
341
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,963
before I recognize Missouri.
342
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:17,346
Now it's time for the
Innocence Report, with Homer Simpson.
343
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,391
Hello. I am Homer Simpson,
344
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:25,020
or as some of you wags
have dubbed me, "Father Goose."
345
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:29,274
You know, everybody believed
the worst about me right away.
346
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,610
Nobody cares that
I didn't do it.
347
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,403
But I didn't.
348
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,864
Okay, look, I've done
some bad things in my life,
349
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,076
but harassing women
is not one of them.
350
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,995
Like one time
we were having this race
351
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,915
with this stupid old-timey
bicycle with the big wheel in front.
352
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,501
So I figure,
"We'll see about that."
353
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,838
so I get this big chunk
of cinder block, and I...
354
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,549
Got to go.
355
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,008
Innocent.
356
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,095
Dad, you did it.
I am so proud of you.
357
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,680
The switchboards
are lighting up!
358
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,014
Yay!
359
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,307
Two calls.
360
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,226
That's our best ever!
361
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,145
Hello? No, Janice
doesn't live here.
362
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,521
Hello?
363
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,982
Yes, I am interested
in long-distance savings.
364
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,942
Very interested.
365
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,781
Marge, this is so depressing.
366
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:21,243
My only hope is this
homemade Prozac.
367
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,954
Needs more ice cream.
368
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,252
So, you don't like
the old-time bikes?
369
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,886
Homer, I love amateur video.
370
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,681
And your show is the most
amateur video I ever saw.
371
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:46,476
My hobby is secretly
videotaping couples and gals.
372
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,646
I dare not come forward,
because in this country
373
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,274
it makes you look
like a pervert!
374
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:55,903
But every single Scottish person
does it!
375
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:58,906
Baby.
376
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,616
Yeah. Baby.
377
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,576
No. That's Mayor Quimby.
378
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,204
Here we go.
379
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,789
Precious Venus.
380
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:12,628
Thank you.
381
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,884
Dad, this clears you completely!
382
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,761
You know the courts
might not work anymore,
383
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:24,014
but as long as everybody
is videotaping everyone else,
384
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,682
justice will be done.
385
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,228
See?
386
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,730
Homer,
I thought you were an animal,
387
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,732
but your daughter said
you were a decent man.
388
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,359
I guess she was right.
389
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,569
You're both right.
390
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,865
In our mad pursuit of the scoop,
391
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:45,369
we members of the press
sometimes make mistakes.
392
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,692
Rock Bottom would like to make
the following corrections.
393
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,585
Wow! V-8 juice isn't
one-eighth gasoline.
394
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,421
And Ted Koppel is a robot.
395
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,756
There's you, Dad!
396
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,216
Yay!
397
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,260
Tomorrow, on Rock Bottom...
398
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,512
He's a foreigner who takes
perverted videos of you
399
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,681
when you least suspect it.
400
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,349
He's Rowdy Roddy Peeper.
401
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,020
That man is sick!
402
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,939
Groundskeeper Willie
saved you, Homer.
403
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,316
But listen to the music.
He's evil.
404
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,985
Hasn't this experience
taught you
405
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,903
you can't believe
everything you hear?
406
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:24,574
Marge, my friend,
I haven't learned a thing.
407
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,418
Let's never fight again. Aw...
408
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,093
♪♪
409
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,429
Shh.
410
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,894
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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