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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,210 Previously, on "Happy!"... 2 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:10,630 We're a hit, baby! 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,509 I run the third-largest network in the nation. 4 00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:14,009 I have everything a man could wish for. 5 00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:15,889 What about the things a man shouldn't wish for? 6 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,480 You're firing me. 7 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:18,870 You don't give me any choice! 8 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,979 There is something inside me. 9 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:25,059 I'm done being everyone's bitch, Dr. Reddy. 10 00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:30,060 You know you are a dead man, Blue rat. 11 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:32,220 You, me, under the bleachers. 12 00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:36,300 No! Help me! 13 00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:37,670 You almost got hurt back there. 14 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,270 Looking for these? 15 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,030 You knew I needed money for Hailey's school. 16 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,210 You used me, Mer. 17 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,789 - Yeah, I did. - Yeah. 18 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,419 This very simple "B and E" of yours, 19 00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,709 it turned out not to be quite so simple. 20 00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:49,880 Sonny Shine. 21 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:52,010 - A few guards showed up. - And? 22 00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:54,110 And I'm standing here with the tapes. 23 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,350 Proof is on these tapes. 24 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,469 The people on these tapes protect him. 25 00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,679 He goes down, they go down. 26 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,599 Holy guacamole, it's Dayglo Doug! 27 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,149 Who the fuck's Dayglo Doug? 28 00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:13,770 Here we go! 29 00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:15,410 Abracadabra! 30 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,090 - Bunny! - Ow, oh! I'm Julius Caesar! 31 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:24,170 You can't do this to me! 32 00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,910 Say something sweet and eat something sour. 33 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,120 Magic and laughs 34 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,790 on the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour"! 35 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,259 Yeah! 36 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,759 Hey, there! 37 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,389 Uh, no, no, no, no. No applause. 38 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:38,530 No applause. 39 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,470 I am not worthy. Thank you. 40 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,939 - We love you! - Yeah! 41 00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,210 We love you, Doug! 42 00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,320 And it's that love... 43 00:01:57,330 --> 00:02:00,390 that has made "The Dayglo Doug Power Hour" 44 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,590 the top-rated cable-access kid's show 45 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,490 in the greater Toledo area. 46 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,400 And only a handful of shows can make that claim. 47 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,540 But... 48 00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:21,510 The time has come for old Doug... 49 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,220 to hang up his hat. 50 00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,330 This will be the last day I host 51 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:30,770 the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour." 52 00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:34,620 Aww, no! 53 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,500 Before I get too emotional... 54 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,010 I wanna introduce you 55 00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:46,130 to the new host of the power hour, 56 00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:49,470 and your new best friend... 57 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,770 Sonny Shine! 58 00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:09,710 Dayglo Doug, everybody! 59 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,939 His best trick? 60 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,109 Vanishing from his own show. 61 00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:18,359 But seriously, Doug. 62 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,200 Now you'll have plenty of time to devote to your... 63 00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:22,500 passions. 64 00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,370 You may not know it, but our buddy Doug 65 00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:27,250 is quite the aficionado on a little something 66 00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,030 you might have studied in school: 67 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,690 World War II. 68 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,480 Look it up. 69 00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:37,220 But I've been thinking, Double-D. 70 00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:40,820 Will you even have time to join us as a guest star? 71 00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:43,310 Sure, that... that'd be super. 72 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,460 But then I think about Episode 186. 73 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,790 "Episode 186"? 74 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,559 The Band-Aid episode? 75 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,730 Correcto. 76 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,410 Where you taught us all how 77 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,310 tearing off the Band-Aid quickly was 78 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,340 really the only healthy way to move forward. 79 00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,710 Isn't that right, kids? 80 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,650 And now, let's cue the music. 81 00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:12,450 Because we'd all like to remember you... 82 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,390 just the way you are. 83 00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:22,010 ♪ Oh, fatherland, fatherland ♪ 84 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,350 ♪ Show us a sign ♪ 85 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:29,309 ♪ Your children are waiting to see ♪ 86 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,050 ♪ The morning will come ♪ 87 00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,070 ♪ When the world ♪ 88 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,670 ♪ Is mine ♪ 89 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,989 ♪ Tomorrow belongs ♪ 90 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,310 ♪ To me ♪ 91 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,600 Doug? 92 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,900 Doug, one question for the aficionado before you go: 93 00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:54,119 About how tall would you say Winston Churchill was? 94 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,350 Churchill? 95 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,360 About that tall. 96 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:01,990 Imagine it: Dayglo Doug was there 97 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,330 when Sonny started. 98 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:06,330 What's the world, uh, when you're part of history? 99 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,630 - "Fossil." - Yeah, Sax, I get it. 100 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,150 He's old. What's your point? 101 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,750 I dunno, let's see: He's senile, wears leotards. 102 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,690 No, sounds like a slam-dunk witness 103 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,090 to build the foundation of your case on. 104 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,470 Top flight police work, Mer, digging up this gem. 105 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,510 It's not my case. It's ours. 106 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,520 Remember? 107 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,420 We're here. 108 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,539 Cut my beard off after 9/11. 109 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,740 And you're here to see? 110 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,130 Doug Thorn. 111 00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,330 Mr. Thorn doesn't take visitors. 112 00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:45,970 He'll make an exception. 113 00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,929 Did you get that out of a Cracker Jack box? 114 00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,290 It was my dad's. 115 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,350 You really stepped in number two with that one, Nick. 116 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,290 I'll step on you. 117 00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:02,570 What's the matter? 118 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,900 Old people. 119 00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:06,940 What? 120 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,310 They don't like me, I don't like them. 121 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,970 And that whole building is filled with them. 122 00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:11,770 You smell that? 123 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,000 That's them. 124 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,040 Whoa, whoa. Hey, psst. 125 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,290 Hey, pal, pal. 126 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,270 - Hey, hey, you mind? - For residents only. 127 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,379 Yeah, I got a blood sugar thing. 128 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,150 If you're hungry, 129 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,220 there's a vending machine in the restroom. 130 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:28,880 "The restroom"? Fuck this place. 131 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:30,290 Geez! 132 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,100 Are you my son? 133 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,540 Dr. Kevorkian's that way. 134 00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:41,840 Thank you. 135 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,630 Uh, for my next trick, 136 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,950 I would like you to look... 137 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,110 at this hat. 138 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,670 What do you see inside? 139 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,940 Nothing, right? 140 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,770 Is that really Dayglo Doug? 141 00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:58,470 He looks different. 142 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,110 Get to the Polish jokes! 143 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,740 There's your star witness. 144 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,190 I will punch you in the throat. 145 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,610 So, man comes home from work 146 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,240 with a duck under his arm. 147 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:10,070 His wife answers the door. 148 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,719 "This is the pig I've been fucking," 149 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,720 the man says. 150 00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:15,370 The wife says, "That's a duck, not a pig." 151 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:18,099 The man says, "I'm not talking to you." 152 00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:24,760 I don't get it. 153 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:27,070 I was going to close this set 154 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,260 by cutting a woman in half. 155 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:31,530 Unfortunately... 156 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:34,630 my assistant passed away this morning, 157 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:38,570 so I would like to dedicate today's show... 158 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,800 to Gladys. 159 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,390 She died as she lived. 160 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,070 Showing off her box for a nickel? 161 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,099 Mr. Thorn? 162 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,990 May we have a few words? 163 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,460 Ugh... 164 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,769 Big as a baby's arm with an apple in its fist. 165 00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,390 I think the word you're looking for is "jumbo." 166 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,100 I'm immune to flattery. 167 00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,029 And disease. 168 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,529 Now spill it, cops. Who violated my inner sanctum? 169 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,010 There's a loaded question. 170 00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,640 Can we talk... 171 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,699 openly? 172 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,499 Dario doesn't understand a lick of English. 173 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,150 Hold still. 174 00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,010 TBH... 175 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,400 we, uh, don't have a lot to go on. 176 00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,410 And by that we mean "nada surf." 177 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,070 And seeing as how you wiped the whole place clean 178 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,410 before we got here... 179 00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:38,850 Well, this crime scene's got more blood traces 180 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:41,470 than Chicago on St. Valentine's Day. 181 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,099 But no bodies. 182 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,140 The only witness was your wife. 183 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,670 She... 184 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,110 fingered the pool boy. 185 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,270 Don't remind me. 186 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,690 Who she says was here with a little blue unicorn. 187 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,750 With wings. 188 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,330 Bebe's last coherent thought 189 00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,920 was during the Carter administration. 190 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,660 You're missing the point. 191 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,959 This is not an official investigation. 192 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,650 There will be no official reports 193 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,900 of any stiffs on my grounds. 194 00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:09,910 There will be no official statements taken 195 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,800 from my smoking hot wife or anyone else. 196 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:15,010 But I do expect a very firm, 197 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,330 hard, unofficial look 198 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:20,410 into who the hell effed up my effigy! 199 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:23,330 That's why you two are unofficially here! 200 00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,510 Is that clear? 201 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,090 As Mother Teresa's urine test. 202 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,480 Ain't what I heard. 203 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:29,350 Magnifico! 204 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,230 No, no! 205 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,560 I want it to look like the roots of a banyan tree. 206 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,820 Sonny Shine? 207 00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,170 No sir-ee. 208 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,010 Sorry, can't help you. 209 00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:51,430 I am not gonna say one word about him. 210 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,710 "El zippo." 211 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,890 We're investigating some serious crimes, Mr. Thorn. 212 00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:59,469 A child kidnapping ring, murder, extortion. 213 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,820 Yeah, that sounds like Sonny. 214 00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:05,269 You two don't look like cops. 215 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,270 We're undercover. 216 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,200 Deep cover. 217 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,840 I said it's deep, that's all. 218 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,260 I can tell you want to talk to me, Doug. 219 00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,819 What are you afraid of? 220 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,100 Me? 221 00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,529 Everything. 222 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,600 Heights, spider plants, 223 00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:22,239 three-legged jeans. 224 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,070 He's still got it. 225 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,370 Oh, he's still got it, all right. 226 00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:27,119 I just hope you can't catch it. 227 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,040 Listen, I can offer you police protection. 228 00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,780 A new identity. 229 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,570 "New identity." That's a laugher. 230 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:36,580 All I ever wanted was my old one back. 231 00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:39,259 The rat bastard stole everything from me. 232 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,719 Yeah. 233 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,929 Yeah, yeah. 234 00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:50,210 Sure isn't like the old days, is it? 235 00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:52,630 Not like when the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour" 236 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,410 was the number one kid's local access show 237 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,100 in the greater Toledo area. 238 00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,319 You were big, Doug. 239 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,910 I was. 240 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,780 I was big, wasn't I? 241 00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,280 Johnny "Wadd" Holmes big. 242 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,940 Milton Berle big. 243 00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:17,520 ♪ Give me a home ♪ 244 00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:20,290 ♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪ 245 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:25,670 ♪ And the deer and the antelope ♪ 246 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,170 ♪ And seldom is heard ♪ 247 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,110 Shh. 248 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,330 ♪ A discouraging word ♪ 249 00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:36,470 You know, I was there to hear the great Caruso 250 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,949 make his professional debut. 251 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,750 Now I've got to listen to this shit. 252 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,140 Do you not know the meaning of "solitary confinement"? 253 00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:51,110 It's meant to be just me in here! 254 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,190 Mm. 255 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,690 Perhaps you're confused... 256 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,260 which seems to happen so very easily. 257 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:58,010 So to elucidate, 258 00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:02,000 you are trapped in this prison. 259 00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,500 I am trapped in you. 260 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,010 "Trapped"? 261 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,140 Well, then, just... 262 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,950 get out. 263 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,939 I bequeath you freedom. 264 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,220 Mm, if only. 265 00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:21,110 But even the demigods are constrained 266 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,630 by certain earthly limitations. 267 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,100 Bloodlines and all that. 268 00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:27,120 You know. 269 00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:31,230 I did try and hop into your charming sister. 270 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,300 Much more fun body to play around in. 271 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,600 Even came with its own television show. 272 00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:39,140 But we both know how 273 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,810 that little harlequin art came to an end. 274 00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:46,170 This is madness! 275 00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:49,150 I gotta get out of here! 276 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,840 It's not such a bad place for us, this. 277 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:54,820 At least until I get my strength back. 278 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:57,860 Pottery Shop. Fun. 279 00:12:57,870 --> 00:13:01,470 And all these impressionable, 280 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,989 homicidal minds to sway. 281 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,570 And as I get my strength back, 282 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,710 you'll have more and more blackouts 283 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:15,030 until life is one long, continuous blackout. 284 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,540 Now, won't that be nice? 285 00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:21,610 No more waking up like a Kennedy, wondering... 286 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:24,830 "Who did I sodomize? 287 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,550 Whom did I kill?" 288 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,140 And what'll happen then? 289 00:13:28,150 --> 00:13:31,170 By then, I'll have built an army. 290 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,860 No. 291 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:35,269 I meant what will happen to me. 292 00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:36,840 Oh. 293 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,750 Uh, it's... it's a great surprise. 294 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,140 Don't get me wrong, I like this new rebel Amanda. 295 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:54,170 This "let's get crazy and ditch work, 296 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,370 good girl gone bad" Amanda. 297 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:59,120 You're joking, but honestly... 298 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,090 I know me. 299 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,620 And these days, I haven't felt like her at all. 300 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,190 Mm. 301 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,990 It's strange even talking about it. 302 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,430 Not at all. 303 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,560 Talking it out is the best way to deal with stress. 304 00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,110 That and a little hot yoga. 305 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,100 I don't think hot yoga's gonna fix it. 306 00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:21,570 Ugh. I got fired, Simon. 307 00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:23,540 Seriously? 308 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,100 That's great. 309 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:26,910 Um... 310 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,720 I was right out of college in Seattle 311 00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,470 when the first big dot-com boom hit. 312 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,020 I found myself one of the first employees 313 00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:34,020 in a little books-in-the-mail startup. 314 00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,830 Amazon? Wow. 315 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,500 No, it was EncyclopediasInTheMail.com. 316 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:42,290 Free returns killed us. So six months later 317 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,870 I'm broke, I'm unemployed. 318 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,470 Living in my mother's basement. 319 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,430 I was feeling sorry for myself. 320 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,200 But it forced me to do a lot 321 00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:51,070 of soul-searching, Amanda, okay? 322 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,590 To figure out what I really want in life. 323 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,010 What's really important. 324 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,980 I realized, for me, it's giving back. 325 00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,210 Making a difference. 326 00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,380 Boom. 327 00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,980 "Ties Without Borders" was born. 328 00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:04,520 Mm? 329 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,560 You feel me? 330 00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:11,960 Every setback is an opportunity? 331 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:13,930 To learn something about yourself. 332 00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:17,000 To bring something new into this world. 333 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,630 Joseph Campbell said it best: 334 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,170 "Follow your bliss." 335 00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,140 He should know. 336 00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:26,740 He invented frickin' "Star Wars." 337 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,880 I like that. 338 00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:33,650 "Follow your bliss." 339 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,010 Yes, yes, yes! 340 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,050 Simon! Yes! 341 00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,950 You see that? 342 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,100 Live long enough, there's your reward. 343 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:56,090 Breaking a hip tripping over your oxygen tank 344 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,600 just trying to get to your bedpan. 345 00:15:57,610 --> 00:16:00,070 Why don't more people know about this? 346 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,640 How come they never showed it on "The Golden Girls"? 347 00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:07,390 Lesbian fairytale. 348 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,720 They are talking to him right now. 349 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:13,470 Of course, he wasn't "Sonny" back then. 350 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,210 Yeah, he was... he was still "Louis Shineberg." 351 00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:19,310 He used to come to the show, sit in the audience. 352 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,610 He was a superfan, if you know what I mean. 353 00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:24,350 _ 354 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,120 I mean, it comes with the territory in my business. 355 00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,330 Don't get me wrong, 356 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:32,390 I love my little Douglets, but after a certain point 357 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,700 it gets, you know, a little bit... 358 00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:37,780 "Superfan-tastic"? 359 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,730 Creepy. Skin-crawling. 360 00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,930 - Depressing? - Somewhat. 361 00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:43,260 Go on. 362 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,530 Year after year, he'd show up. 363 00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,600 Most kids grew out of it. 364 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,660 Not him. 365 00:16:53,670 --> 00:16:56,150 We made friends. Sort of. 366 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,790 He said he wanted to be an entertainer, like me. 367 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,240 - But it wasn't until... - Until what? 368 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:05,610 You're gonna think I'm some kind of a nut job. 369 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:08,390 We're the ones who are crazy, not you. 370 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,400 Go ahead, dish. 371 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,800 Those things... 372 00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,480 The Wishees. 373 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,650 I still remember the first time he showed up with them. 374 00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,450 The costumes. 375 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:24,570 The big round fish eyes. 376 00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:27,310 The "fuck me" mouths. 377 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,810 Let's face it, Louis was just a schmuck 378 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,480 until those candy-colored abominations came along. 379 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,170 After that, everything changed for him. 380 00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,840 Suddenly, he just took... 381 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,770 whatever he wanted to. 382 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,530 Starting with my show. 383 00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,300 Oh, oh, question. 384 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,260 Um, when these, uh, whatever you call them... 385 00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,880 - "Wishees," Nick. - Sax. 386 00:17:50,910 --> 00:17:53,200 Which I am to understand are basically, uh, 387 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,240 shitheads in fuzzy outfits 388 00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:57,190 that dance around the stage with Mr. Shineberg... 389 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,180 when they, as you say, "showed up"... 390 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:04,050 are we saying, like... say, for example, 391 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,040 from Cleveland? 392 00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,470 "Cleveland." 393 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,840 - Cleveland, Ohio. - Yes. 394 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,570 By way of the Crab Nebula, maybe. 395 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:16,320 - Ah-ha. - And they weren't just guys in outfits. 396 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,590 The big guy doesn't seem very bright, 397 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,340 so I'm gonna try to make this as simple as I can. 398 00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,600 Back in the Etruscan age, 399 00:18:24,610 --> 00:18:27,760 this gigantic meteor crashes into Earth... 400 00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,770 All right, that's it. I'm done. 401 00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:31,990 - Enjoy your interrogation. - Where the fuck are you going? 402 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,610 I'm simply famished, so I'm gonna find 403 00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,950 where they stashed those pudding cups or die trying. 404 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,780 You, Trigger. 405 00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:39,580 I suggest you come along. 406 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,030 - Your friend is a little... - I know. 407 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,960 Keep talking. 408 00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:02,510 You. 409 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,920 You know what they say: 410 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,620 "Nothing makes you believe in Hell like Catholic school." 411 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,380 No, wait! 412 00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,270 Wait, Hailey. 413 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,420 I'm sorry. 414 00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:15,390 I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. 415 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,390 - Get away from me. - Don't... don't run off, please. 416 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,690 I'm not moving. See? 417 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,820 I'll stay perfectly still. 418 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,760 I wouldn't think of hurting you. 419 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,330 It's... it's the opposite. 420 00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,200 I... I've been protecting you, haven't I? 421 00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,330 I'm just a boy... 422 00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,870 standing in front of a girl 423 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,480 asking her to listen. 424 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,110 I don't blame you for being scared. 425 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,440 This can be very confusing. 426 00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:39,740 Should we sit? 427 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:42,280 Would that be better? 428 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,680 I see you've got your lucky keychain. 429 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,130 Maybe you've been thinking about things. 430 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:50,400 Questions you have for me. 431 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,890 You're supposed to be dead. 432 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,330 "Dead." 433 00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:56,540 Someone told you that? 434 00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,350 My parents. 435 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,530 Ah, parents. 436 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:04,860 They do like making up stories, don't they? 437 00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,500 Seems that... 438 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,600 no one wants to tell you the truth these days. 439 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,090 What happened to your eye? 440 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,770 You're not the only one who knows what it's like 441 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,000 to be bullied. 442 00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:29,840 What if I told you that I was forced to do what I did? 443 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,860 There are very awful people in this world, Hailey, 444 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:38,070 and they can make people do very awful things. 445 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,540 Doesn't make it right, but it's the truth. 446 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:45,510 I was happy 447 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,810 when you children were saved by the police. 448 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:50,710 Those very awful people? 449 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,520 Not so much. 450 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,910 As you can see. 451 00:20:58,070 --> 00:21:00,560 I'm sorry, I... I can put my glasses back on. 452 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:03,630 So now we're supposed to be friends? 453 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,060 I don't need friends. 454 00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:08,870 I do. 455 00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,970 But... 456 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,440 if that's the way you feel... 457 00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,720 I'm just happy that you're finally hearing the truth. 458 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,640 You've been lied to since the day you were born. 459 00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:21,050 It's about time someone finally... 460 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,950 What's that supposed to mean? 461 00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:26,020 No, no. 462 00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:29,820 I'm not one to open up old wounds. 463 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,260 But you do know the whole story? 464 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:36,280 Your father lied to your mother and then ran out on her. 465 00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:38,990 And then your mother lied to your father about you, 466 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,830 and then to you about your father. 467 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,870 I'm not a shrink, 468 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,670 but that is a rough place for any kid to start. 469 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,340 I'm going. 470 00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:51,540 Wait! 471 00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:54,130 One last thing. 472 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,110 When you get home and see your mother, 473 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,750 tell her we met. 474 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,720 Tell her what I said. Be honest with her. 475 00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:02,090 See what she says. 476 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,690 And if you don't want to be friends, 477 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,240 you will never see me again. 478 00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:06,860 But if you do, 479 00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:10,650 just say the word and I'll be right there. 480 00:22:22,510 --> 00:22:24,660 While others run in fear 481 00:22:24,670 --> 00:22:27,480 from those who've declared war for any on Easter, 482 00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:31,020 one man will unite us all... 483 00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:35,940 In bringing sexy back to Easter. 484 00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:44,490 This year, if we don't celebrate Easter, 485 00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:46,250 they win. 486 00:22:52,790 --> 00:22:54,220 Just a taste. 487 00:22:54,230 --> 00:22:56,840 A little, como se dice, flavor, 488 00:22:56,850 --> 00:22:58,390 if you will. 489 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:02,720 This ain't your grandma's Easter, am I right? 490 00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:07,250 Well? Kap? 491 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,100 What do you think? 492 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,270 Go, Kap, go! 493 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,530 Whoo-hoo! 494 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,030 I think it's fucking brilliant. 495 00:23:32,690 --> 00:23:36,380 Oh, there she is! 496 00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:37,650 Who's hungry? 497 00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:39,580 If you'd told me one day 498 00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:42,700 I'd get to see Dayglo Doug up close and in person, 499 00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:44,540 tell the story of how he met Sonny Shine 500 00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,570 for the first time, well, I would have said, 501 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,300 "Holy guacamole, somebody pinch me 502 00:23:48,310 --> 00:23:51,140 because this is a dream come true!" 503 00:23:51,150 --> 00:23:53,010 But it's not. 504 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:55,190 Yeah, well, if it's any consolation, 505 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,410 that look on your face of soul-crushing disappointment 506 00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:59,470 has been the highlight of this whole trip. 507 00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:06,620 Sieg Heil! 508 00:24:06,630 --> 00:24:09,460 Dickless freaking Doug. 509 00:24:09,470 --> 00:24:10,930 Some witness. 510 00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:13,440 That's what I get for trusting Mer. 511 00:24:15,430 --> 00:24:17,300 You should be the black one. 512 00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:19,370 I was black last time! 513 00:24:19,380 --> 00:24:21,640 I'm not a schwarzer! 514 00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:24,220 You be the schwarzer! 515 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:25,810 Is that gonna be us someday, Nick? 516 00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:28,750 Frittering away our last days in a place like this, 517 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,660 arguing over some silly game? 518 00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:31,940 Don't you worry about that, pal. 519 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,780 I'll drink bleach before I let that happen. 520 00:24:33,790 --> 00:24:35,240 Besides, what are you worried about? 521 00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:37,210 You haven't even hit the magical "P-word" yet. 522 00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:40,590 "Puberty." 523 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,860 It's Latin for "pubes." 524 00:24:42,870 --> 00:24:45,790 Six-year period where you part your hair down the middle 525 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,530 and your body gets all awkward and, uh, pimply. 526 00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:50,880 At the same, it wants to get naked with other people. 527 00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,270 But what if I don't want to grow up? 528 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,640 Well, then you're gonna have to file that one 529 00:24:54,650 --> 00:24:55,950 under "tough shit." 530 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,440 Um... 531 00:25:06,290 --> 00:25:08,680 Have you noticed the staff here is funny? 532 00:25:08,690 --> 00:25:10,750 I mean, usually the people they hire in joints like this 533 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,790 are, um... 534 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,990 different. 535 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,230 - "Different" how? - Dominican. 536 00:25:19,340 --> 00:25:21,240 Do you smell popcorn? 537 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,790 Oh, hell yeah. 538 00:25:36,790 --> 00:25:38,980 Holy sheisse. 539 00:25:42,860 --> 00:25:44,860 Hey, Mer. 540 00:25:44,870 --> 00:25:47,380 Mer. Guess what? 541 00:25:47,390 --> 00:25:49,090 Turns out this place is a home for assholes. 542 00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:50,140 Excuse me? 543 00:25:50,150 --> 00:25:51,400 Go ahead, tell her. 544 00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:53,500 Some of the people here are a bit colorful. 545 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,940 Yeah, red, white, and black. 546 00:25:54,950 --> 00:25:56,980 We saw the tape, der fuckward. 547 00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:59,360 Look, you know Sonny's M.O. I was set up. 548 00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,640 If the armband fits. 549 00:26:00,650 --> 00:26:02,570 I am a history buff. 550 00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:05,740 A collector of rare and exotic memorabilia. 551 00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:08,370 I don't belong here with these fascists. 552 00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:10,160 Okay, can someone please explain to me 553 00:26:10,170 --> 00:26:12,380 - what the hell is going on? - Nazis, Mer. 554 00:26:12,390 --> 00:26:14,130 The place is stinking with them. 555 00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:16,860 It wasn't enough that he stole my show. 556 00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:19,460 Then he has to twist the knife. 557 00:26:19,470 --> 00:26:21,380 You know, Sonny used to say 558 00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:22,490 that the shortest book ever written 559 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:24,330 was the German book of humor? 560 00:26:24,340 --> 00:26:27,010 That's why he stuck me here! 561 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,830 Don't you think I'd leave if I could? 562 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,920 I've been bombing in front of this Stasi scum 563 00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:34,120 for a decade. 564 00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:37,560 I mean, you gotta get me out of this place! 565 00:26:37,570 --> 00:26:40,310 ♪ I can't take another bad review ♪ 566 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,730 - We're going, come on. - No, no, no. 567 00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:42,980 We're not actually taking this guy. 568 00:26:42,990 --> 00:26:44,900 You said you would protect me if I talked. 569 00:26:44,910 --> 00:26:46,520 This adult-diaper-wearing war criminal 570 00:26:46,530 --> 00:26:47,790 is not getting in my cab. 571 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,310 Hey, I resemble that last remark. 572 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,320 Hey. 573 00:26:51,330 --> 00:26:53,490 I'm not doing this with you right now. 574 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,200 What is it about this guy? 575 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,400 Visiting time, sadly, is over. 576 00:27:01,410 --> 00:27:04,330 So we're gonna have to ask you to leave. 577 00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:08,170 It's time for your pills. 578 00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:10,370 We have some more questions to ask him off-site. 579 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:11,390 I'm sure you understand. 580 00:27:11,410 --> 00:27:13,510 I don't think so. 581 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:19,390 You eye-fucking me, Nietzsche? 582 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,920 Uh, Nick? 583 00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,700 Is there a problem, young man? 584 00:27:30,710 --> 00:27:32,910 Nothing we can't handle, Herr Zimmer. 585 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,280 - Oh, boy. - You! 586 00:27:34,290 --> 00:27:36,740 Where do you think you're slinking off to? 587 00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:39,440 You have a show in 20 minutes. 588 00:27:50,890 --> 00:27:52,900 Sieg Heil! 589 00:27:52,910 --> 00:27:55,310 Sieg Heil! 590 00:27:55,330 --> 00:27:57,570 Sieg Heil! 591 00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,610 Sieg Heil! 592 00:27:59,630 --> 00:28:01,500 Sieg Heil! 593 00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:06,750 Well, actually, the show starts now. 594 00:28:07,470 --> 00:28:09,320 Blitzkrieg! 595 00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:16,740 All right, NYPD! Nobody move! 596 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:18,370 Shit. 597 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:21,790 Fuck! 598 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,050 Doug! 599 00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:37,970 Nick! 600 00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:46,360 That's my witness. 601 00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:49,810 Lookit, Mer! 602 00:28:49,820 --> 00:28:51,810 His bones are so brittle! 603 00:29:02,830 --> 00:29:04,830 Ah! 604 00:29:08,850 --> 00:29:10,550 Sax, stop killing people! 605 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,050 Ah, come on, Mer! They're Nazis! 606 00:29:21,870 --> 00:29:23,890 Ouch-witz! 607 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,010 Papa never loved me. 608 00:30:01,490 --> 00:30:03,550 Auf Wiedersehen, motherfucker. 609 00:30:07,150 --> 00:30:10,930 "Greatest generation" my ass. 610 00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:25,880 Oh, my God. 611 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,930 Look at what they did to you. 612 00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:30,140 Get off of me! Get off of me! 613 00:30:30,150 --> 00:30:31,860 Fuck! 614 00:30:31,870 --> 00:30:33,850 Get off of me! 615 00:30:38,590 --> 00:30:39,790 Is it true? 616 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,330 What? 617 00:30:42,910 --> 00:30:45,190 You killed all them Russians in the toilet. 618 00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,320 What if it is? 619 00:30:55,590 --> 00:30:57,690 It's like... 620 00:30:57,700 --> 00:31:00,670 It's like you're two different people. 621 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,220 One's warm and loving. 622 00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:04,890 The other's just... 623 00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:06,210 cold and cruel. 624 00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:08,400 No! No! 625 00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:10,260 Don't say that! 626 00:31:10,270 --> 00:31:12,160 I'm not two different people! 627 00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:14,900 It's just me, and I am... 628 00:31:14,910 --> 00:31:16,950 I'm Blue! 629 00:31:17,820 --> 00:31:20,270 I'm Blue! 630 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,880 Orcus. 631 00:31:22,890 --> 00:31:25,190 This is... 632 00:31:25,690 --> 00:31:28,420 Ow. 633 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,630 I'm sorry. 634 00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:37,170 I'm sorry. 635 00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:43,970 You've been so kind to me, and, um... 636 00:31:45,110 --> 00:31:46,750 I've spurned you. 637 00:31:47,650 --> 00:31:49,240 You haven't, though. 638 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:51,910 I mean, "spurned." 639 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,550 - No, I spurned you. - You really haven't. 640 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,780 I've treated you unkindly, and... 641 00:31:59,790 --> 00:32:02,850 I'm just... 642 00:32:02,860 --> 00:32:04,570 I'm scared, Pink. 643 00:32:05,730 --> 00:32:08,150 I need you tell me that... 644 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,710 That it's me, right? 645 00:32:13,270 --> 00:32:15,500 I'm Blue Scaramucci. 646 00:32:15,510 --> 00:32:19,200 T-tell me I'm Blue Scaramucci. 647 00:32:19,210 --> 00:32:21,770 Yeah. It's you. 648 00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,520 That's right. 649 00:32:25,530 --> 00:32:27,680 You're Blue. 650 00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:29,850 You're Blue Scaramucci. 651 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,440 Oh, you nasty little tart. 652 00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:42,480 Go on. 653 00:32:42,490 --> 00:32:45,170 Oh, tell me, tell me. 654 00:32:47,150 --> 00:32:49,460 Who am I? 655 00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:55,370 ♪ Ooh, Sunny ♪ 656 00:32:56,710 --> 00:32:59,770 ♪ Ooh, Sunny Shine ♪ 657 00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:01,120 ♪ Ooh ♪ 658 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:07,130 Sock it to me! 659 00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:10,450 Dad, look here! 660 00:33:11,980 --> 00:33:15,050 Dad, look! 661 00:33:15,570 --> 00:33:18,530 It's Sonny Shine's original shiny mic! 662 00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:21,300 I don't know how "original" it is. 663 00:33:21,310 --> 00:33:23,100 It says on the thing! 664 00:33:23,110 --> 00:33:25,080 I mean, when I was growing up 665 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:27,440 it was the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour." 666 00:33:27,450 --> 00:33:30,860 All this stuff is from that show. 667 00:33:30,870 --> 00:33:33,240 I'm sure you can still find the old clips online. 668 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,490 Who likes selfies? 669 00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,110 Oh, my God! 670 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,060 Let's do this! Let's do this. 671 00:33:39,070 --> 00:33:40,550 Come on. Gather around, everyone. 672 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,820 Give that to me. Okay, here we are. 673 00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:44,290 Everybody say, 674 00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:47,670 "Sonny Shine Easter Live Bonanza Extravaganza 675 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,960 With Tony Danza!" 676 00:33:51,470 --> 00:33:53,560 All right, all right, y'all better get going. 677 00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,800 The Wishee exhibit closes in 20 minutes for fumigation. 678 00:33:56,810 --> 00:33:58,580 Remember, when you post those: 679 00:33:58,590 --> 00:34:01,250 #SonnyEaster. 680 00:34:01,810 --> 00:34:04,210 Make Easter great again! 681 00:34:04,850 --> 00:34:07,010 And a MEGA day to you, too. 682 00:34:18,370 --> 00:34:22,500 So the procedure is for a root canal on Saturday. 683 00:34:22,510 --> 00:34:25,290 And the payment's been made? 684 00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:27,120 - Hailey? - Hi, Dr. Reddy. 685 00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:28,840 I need to tell my mother something. 686 00:34:28,850 --> 00:34:30,870 It's important. 687 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,090 Hailey, your mother doesn't work here anymore. 688 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,470 But... 689 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,340 since when? 690 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,340 A few days ago. 691 00:34:39,350 --> 00:34:41,810 Sorry, I thought she would have told you. 692 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,880 Lollipop? 693 00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:55,490 It's... 694 00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:56,820 fantastic. 695 00:34:56,830 --> 00:34:58,850 I knew you'd love it. 696 00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:02,380 It's like a 3D version of the inside of my brain. 697 00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:03,740 I know, right? 698 00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:05,540 You really are on the level. 699 00:35:05,550 --> 00:35:08,200 You said they weren't guys in suits. 700 00:35:08,210 --> 00:35:10,410 I... I'm afraid to ask, but... 701 00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:12,460 what exactly did you mean by that? 702 00:35:12,470 --> 00:35:15,610 Afraid to ask, or afraid of the answer? 703 00:35:16,490 --> 00:35:19,050 You ever talk to one of them face to face? 704 00:35:19,090 --> 00:35:20,760 Oh, uh, no. 705 00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:22,470 See, about that... they don't speak. 706 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,060 What do you mean? 707 00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:25,670 I mean, they don't speak. 708 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,980 Like Helen Keller or like a mime? 709 00:35:28,990 --> 00:35:30,260 No, no, no. 710 00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,860 No, they communicate through telepathy. 711 00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:35,600 - Of course. - Uh, only Sonny can hear them. 712 00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:39,200 They speak, it goes straight into his brain. 713 00:35:39,210 --> 00:35:41,160 Don't think it would work so well for you, but... 714 00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:43,280 I'm gonna be in the kitchen. 715 00:35:43,290 --> 00:35:46,250 If you got tinfoil, I can make Doug a new hat. 716 00:35:48,630 --> 00:35:50,560 Who'd believe a guy with a smile like that 717 00:35:50,570 --> 00:35:52,290 could be so evil? 718 00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,650 What, that Mr. Pussy Pants is a bad guy? 719 00:35:56,660 --> 00:35:59,660 - Welcome to the party. - I couldn't believe it. 720 00:35:59,670 --> 00:36:02,490 Me and Hailey used to... 721 00:36:02,500 --> 00:36:04,800 But I guess that's all over now. 722 00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:06,340 It's like you said, Nick. 723 00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,900 People change. Everything changes. 724 00:36:08,910 --> 00:36:11,090 Uh, that's right. That goes for me, too. 725 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,840 Try and knock me off the... 726 00:36:13,850 --> 00:36:16,240 Try and knock me off the wagon. 727 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,650 Will of iron, pal. 728 00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:19,740 She ain't gonna be happy 729 00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:22,140 until I've broken every promise to Amanda and the kid. 730 00:36:22,150 --> 00:36:24,210 And for what, huh? 731 00:36:24,220 --> 00:36:26,260 On a wild goose chase 732 00:36:26,270 --> 00:36:28,940 with some incontinent Kraut-dog 733 00:36:28,950 --> 00:36:31,330 who thinks Sasquatch killed Biggie. 734 00:36:31,340 --> 00:36:33,470 What are we gonna do, Nick? 735 00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:37,280 Well, for now, I'm gonna get this jelly open. 736 00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:39,660 I mean about Sunny and... and the Wishees. 737 00:36:39,670 --> 00:36:41,920 Doug says... 738 00:36:41,930 --> 00:36:43,430 Let me tell you something. 739 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,260 Being a grown-up means you've gotta learn 740 00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:49,240 that heroism comes in a lot of different forms, 741 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:52,510 one of them being not being a hero. 742 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:53,940 Capische? 743 00:36:53,950 --> 00:36:56,650 Nick, you don't really believe that. 744 00:37:00,870 --> 00:37:02,380 This is what I believe in. 745 00:37:02,390 --> 00:37:04,520 Being there for that kid. 746 00:37:04,530 --> 00:37:07,140 Trying to give her some kind of normal life 747 00:37:07,150 --> 00:37:08,740 after everything she has been through. 748 00:37:08,750 --> 00:37:12,000 And, you know, we got too many freaks in leotards 749 00:37:12,010 --> 00:37:14,760 in our lives for my taste. 750 00:37:14,770 --> 00:37:16,430 Fuck them all. 751 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,960 I killed it. 752 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:22,500 I know I did. 753 00:37:22,510 --> 00:37:24,180 Nothing bleeds that much and walks away. 754 00:37:24,190 --> 00:37:27,040 But when I went back, it was gone. 755 00:37:27,050 --> 00:37:28,860 Something moved the body. 756 00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:31,240 I had a feeling the place would be wiped clean 757 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,690 before forensics got there. What they don't know 758 00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:37,440 is I took some of whatever it was 759 00:37:37,450 --> 00:37:39,120 that came out of that thing. 760 00:37:39,130 --> 00:37:41,460 You have its blood? Where is it? 761 00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:45,060 Well, I had it in here under a lamp. 762 00:37:45,070 --> 00:37:47,620 Then it started moving, like it was trying to get out. 763 00:37:47,630 --> 00:37:50,120 No, no, no. You're supposed to keep it cold. 764 00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:51,400 I figured that. 765 00:37:51,410 --> 00:37:53,910 I put it in a jelly jar, I stuck it in the fridge. 766 00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:01,660 Oh, man, I needed that. 767 00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:03,820 I tell you I got a blood sugar thing? 768 00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:28,690 Sweet boneless Jesus. 769 00:38:33,590 --> 00:38:35,940 This is Captain Turdwell. 770 00:38:35,950 --> 00:38:38,680 We are experiencing uncontrollable explosive thrust 771 00:38:38,690 --> 00:38:39,810 in both engines! 772 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:42,120 Prepare for water landing! 773 00:38:42,130 --> 00:38:44,320 How about a courtesy flush? 774 00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:49,420 Whoo! 775 00:39:00,430 --> 00:39:01,840 Ow! 776 00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:18,880 Sax! 777 00:39:22,100 --> 00:39:24,970 Go back to hell! 778 00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:10,730 You must be Rin Tin Tikki Tavi 779 00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:12,580 walking in here. 780 00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:14,360 If I can forgive you 781 00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,800 sending six of your chums in to kill me, 782 00:40:16,810 --> 00:40:19,070 then surely... 783 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,470 surely... 784 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,020 you can forgive me for merely... 785 00:40:23,030 --> 00:40:25,030 drowning them all in the toilet. 786 00:40:26,130 --> 00:40:29,010 Besides, I'm here to make you an offer 787 00:40:29,020 --> 00:40:33,270 that you simply cannot refuse. 788 00:40:34,190 --> 00:40:37,660 There are those that would give their right hand 789 00:40:37,670 --> 00:40:39,190 to work with me. 790 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,560 Just because you talk like Liam Neeson... 791 00:40:44,070 --> 00:40:46,590 This does not make you Liam Neeson. 792 00:40:48,270 --> 00:40:50,890 In ages past, it was customary 793 00:40:50,910 --> 00:40:53,710 to sacrifice black sheep in my name. 794 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:55,630 And then... 795 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,210 to make a lovely, big pot of stew. 796 00:40:58,220 --> 00:41:00,340 Not unlike this one. 797 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,940 _ 798 00:41:12,190 --> 00:41:14,650 _ 799 00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,570 _ 800 00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:21,230 _ 801 00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:23,830 _ 802 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,720 Maybe you young pioneers 803 00:41:26,730 --> 00:41:28,480 are more familiar with the Bible 804 00:41:28,490 --> 00:41:30,640 than you are with the Roman texts. 805 00:41:32,450 --> 00:41:34,110 Yeah? 806 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,310 For example... 807 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,210 "He who fails to find me 808 00:41:40,220 --> 00:41:42,810 injures himself." 809 00:41:44,230 --> 00:41:45,910 The fuck? 810 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,590 "And if your hand should cause you to sin... " 811 00:41:52,540 --> 00:41:54,630 "Cut it off. 812 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,710 Throw it away." 813 00:42:02,450 --> 00:42:04,580 And what is that other verse? 814 00:42:04,590 --> 00:42:05,790 Oh, yes. 815 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,210 "Beware of the dogs, 816 00:42:08,220 --> 00:42:10,880 "beware of the evil workers... " 817 00:42:13,180 --> 00:42:17,210 "And beware of false circumcision." 818 00:42:24,010 --> 00:42:26,220 _ 819 00:42:28,270 --> 00:42:30,120 _ 820 00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:33,380 Now, here's the Bible almost repeating itself, 821 00:42:33,390 --> 00:42:36,760 but not quite, and the difference is crucial. 822 00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:40,450 "If your eye... causes you to sin... " 823 00:42:41,390 --> 00:42:43,790 Eat shit, demon! 824 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,110 "Tear it out. 825 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,740 Throw it away." 826 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,800 I am so taken by you guys. 827 00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:57,330 I really, really am. 828 00:42:57,340 --> 00:42:58,550 I walked in here 829 00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,880 and immediately I'm saying to myself, 830 00:42:59,890 --> 00:43:01,160 "Oh, yes, yes. 831 00:43:01,170 --> 00:43:04,600 Here are some proper nasty boys." 832 00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:07,920 My name is Orcus. 833 00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:11,850 Orcus. 834 00:43:16,990 --> 00:43:18,480 Anything? 835 00:43:18,490 --> 00:43:20,840 Uh, as far as the residents go, 836 00:43:20,850 --> 00:43:22,990 they're practically dead to begin with. 837 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,720 Well... 838 00:43:25,730 --> 00:43:28,630 We're nowhere on who took the tape collection. 839 00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:34,710 But I think I might have a bead... 840 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,170 on who took Dayglo Doug. 841 00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:40,470 A terrorist? 842 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,670 Shine's gonna want to see this. 843 00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:35,730 Mm. 844 00:44:41,350 --> 00:44:42,460 Mom? 845 00:44:42,470 --> 00:44:43,660 Oh. 846 00:44:43,670 --> 00:44:45,270 Hi, sweetheart. 847 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,370 You're home a little late. 848 00:44:48,610 --> 00:44:51,410 Yeah, work was kind of a madhouse. 849 00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:56,360 It's the busiest time of the year down at the clinic. 850 00:44:56,370 --> 00:44:57,500 Few months after Valentine's. 851 00:44:57,510 --> 00:45:00,250 Now, how was your day? 852 00:45:00,260 --> 00:45:02,310 How was school? 853 00:45:06,410 --> 00:45:08,680 Make any new friends? 854 00:45:10,940 --> 00:45:13,330 Maybe one. 57037

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