All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S13E16

Morning, Bob.
Here's your coffee.

Two sugars,
just how you like it.

Oh, I don't really
take sugar, but...

- April Fool's, it's salt! Ha!
- Yeah.

Uh, I guess
I'll rinse this out

- and get normal coffee.
- He loved it.

- Ah!
- And the salt is sugar.

April Fool's. Sugar eggs.

Actually, this could work.

Sorry, there's some
other way to eat eggs?

April Fool's.

I put a rubber band
on the sprayer trigger.

- Spray it ain't so, am I right?
- Yup.

Whoa, does this phlegm
look normal to you?

Eh, I'll just
get it back in there.

Ah!

April Fool's, it's
jelly mixed with ketchup.

Perfect fake
bloody phlegm combo.

Look at my family
of merry pranksters. Mmm.

Oh, uh, Mother,
aren't you going to

have a sip of that
orange juice I brought you?

- Yeah, sure, why not?
- Uh, I put mac 'n' cheese powder

in there. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Aw, Gene, honey,
it's not really a prank

if you tell me about it beforehand.

I like
April Fool's pranks,

just not the part where someone
is confused or uncomfortable.

Yeah, that's the prank
part of the prank?

And it's just fun.
We prank 'cause we love.

Ah! I don't get this holiday!

I'm with Gene. April Fool's Day

isn't really a holiday,
it's more of just a dumb day.

How dare you. Whoa.

Bob, you're
such an April Scrooge.

Sorry. Maybe it's
because Mr. Fischoeder

has pranked me every
April Fool's for years

and it's kind of horrible.

We prank you
every year, too, Dad.

Yeah, but he's got a lot
more money than you guys.

Also, he might be the devil.

April Fool's. April Fool's.

♪ April Fool's. ♪

April Fool's. April Fool's.

April Fool's.

I know, what's Mr. Fischoeder

gonna cook up this year?

I can't wait.
It's like Christmas in April.

Well, you know who's
not a fool? Jimmy Jr.

He has
a buy-one-get-one-free coupon

and he invited me
to get frozen yogurt later.

Wait, he asked you out
for today?

April Fool's Day.
First of April.

Uno de Foolio.

Yeah, so what?

It's just that...
No, I won't... I won't say it.

- What? What?
- It's just that

my prank-dar is pinging.

An April Fool's date?
It's... It's risky.

Oh, stop it, Louise.
My prank-dar's got nothing.

Wait. Oh, no, that's gas.

We should get downstairs,

assuming all the fun
breakfast pranks are over.

Uh, I think that's everything.

After-breakfast mint?

Is that a piece of chalk?

- Mint?
- Mmm.

Okay, looks normal...

Which isn't normal.

Huh, yeah. Aw.

Well, don't sound disappointed.

I'm not, I'm not. Aw.

But how could
Jimmy Jr. prank me

just by having
frozen yogurt with me?

Only about
a thousand different ways.

Uh, you show up thinking
you're the "get one free,"

turns out, you're the "buy one."
April Fool's.

- Monster.
- Or he gives you a spoon
with a hole in it.

Oh, look, now you've got
a banana mango chin beard.

Ooh, I want that.

Yay, you're open.

Hi, Teddy, you're here early.

Well,
it's a major holiday, right?

I'm pretty excited.

April Fool's.
I sat on the wrong stool.

- Oh, I had you, Bob.
- Yup.

- I had you.
- Yup, you did.

Should've seen the look
on your face.

April stool, I love it.

You know, that other stool
is way more comfortable.

This one's all flattened down

for some reason.

Mm. Okay, here we go.

I am preparing to be wowed.

Hello, Bob. Lady Bob,
Lesser Bobs. Freddy.

Hey, Mr. Fisch.

You seem tense, Bob.

Do you have an impacted colon?

No, just waiting
for the prank.

There could be
some colon stuff, too.

I could just be here
for the rent, you know?

It is the first of the month.

Oh, that would be great.

- Do you have it?
- LINDA and BOB: No.

But we'll get it. Probably.

Bob, there's a bear
in your kitchen.

You put a bear in my kitchen?

Ow. What the...

April Fool's.

Standing "O."

For the record, I also
would have taken a bear.

Wow. Bob, you see
how realistic it looks?

Yeah, I-I saw it, Lin.

It's trompe l'oeil.

That's French for
"Hee-hee-hee, gotcha Bob."

I commissioned it from
a starving boardwalk artist

and, uh, Freddy, here, used

my landlord key
to install it before dawn.

I'm so sorry, Bob.

He made me do it.
By paying me money.

Forgive me.
Why aren't you forgiving me?

- Teddy, uh, it's fine.
- Oh, good.

Mr. Fischoeder, I'll be over

soon to finish
painting your mansion.

Yes, Freddy, about that,

is all the unsightly
scaffolding necessary?

Uh, well, it's kind of how
I reach the higher floors.

Couldn't you just sort
of catapult yourself up

and paint, paint, paint
before you crash to the ground?

- Uh, I could try.
- Good man.

Well, uh, I guess that's it,

so... see you next year?

Bob, we need to talk.

In our pranking relationship,

I feel that I do all the work.

You've never
pranked me back once.

Except for
the bounced rent checks.

- Heh, heh. You don't like those?
- They're okay, not great.

Bob, I feel a little
taken for granted.

- It's not working. Us.
- Us?

I wish I didn't even have
to say this, but here goes.

Bob, this year,
will you prank me?

Aw.
- I-I'm sorry?

Prank me. Amuse and enchant me,

as I do for you every year.

Mr. Fischoeder,
I-I'm flattered,

but you're a millionaire

with a lot of time
on your hands.

Possibly too much.

And I'm not.
I have a restaurant to run.

- You do? That's exciting.
- Yay, Dad.

Where? Oh, this place.

Anyway, uh, no, thank you?

Well, I guess you can't
force these things, right?

But it's still early.
Maybe you'll change your mind.

Oh, what a merry...
scary laugh.

Aren't you being a little bit
of a pranky pooper, Bob?

No, pranking our landlord
is a terrible idea.

I'm not gonna do it,
and no one can make me.

That's how I handle
my math homework.

And it works. Mostly.
We'll talk later.

Oh, my God, he's back.

Right now it's sort of
a quasi-hamburger stand,

but picture it
without the greasy, uh...

people.

What-What's going on?

I'm getting out there, Bob.

Meeting prospective new tenants.

- For here?
- Mm-hmm.

And you met him in
the last 15 minutes?

It all happens online
these days.

I like this one.
Younger, lots of energy.

- Super pranky.
- Oh, my God.

So what kind
of store you opening?

Uh, a chain store?

Every kind of... chain.
Key, bicycle, neck.

You just saved me two stops.

Actually, the store
next door is vacant.

Oh, that space is
nothing compared to this.

Oh, yeah,
much better light here.

And just a better
flow in general.

Thanks, guys.

I am definitely interested.

Good, I should know
by the end of the day

if the space is available.

End of the day.

Is Mr. Fischoeder really
gonna kick us out

for another tenant
if we don't prank him?

He'd be crazy not to.

All those amazing chains.

I honestly am not sure
how serious he is,

so I guess
we're pranking our landlord.

I pity the April fool.

How about this for a prank?

Creep up behind him
and slowly move

Mr. Fischoeder's eyepatch

- until it covers his good eye.
- Uh...

Ooh, give him a fake scar
while he's sleeping

and tell him
you stole his pancreas.

He's probably got a great

- rich guy pancreas, I bet.
- No.

Ask Jimmy Jr.
how he's gonna prank Tina

on their frozen yogurt date

- and just do that?
- Wait, what?

Move all the clocks
in his house

ahead by one minute so he'll be
one minute early for everything.

Aw, Gene, sweetie,
that's still not quite a prank.

- It's really helpful, actually.
- Darn it.

I just want something simple.

Like, what if I send him
a pizza with weird toppings?

Weird toppings?
That's your prank?

Yeah, things
that don't go together.

Like shrimp with hot dogs?

- Go on.
- Yeah, that's making me hungry.

Should we eat one
first and decide?

Can we throw
some pineapple on there?

Stop wanting
to eat the prank pizza.

Everybody's overthinking it.

Bob's Burgers.

Bob, about the prank.

I hope you aren't
underthinking it

and planning
something super wimpy.

Go big.
I want to feel something.

Otherwise, it doesn't count. Bye.

You, down there,
catch this knife.

Kidding. Kidding, kidding.

It's April Fool's. Sheesh.

He wants
to feel something.

Okay, Dad, to do this right,
you got to go deep.

Talk to people,
dig through some garbage,

find out what makes
Mr. Fischoeder tick.

What does he care about most?

Find that and you'll know
how to prank him.

Fine, but I am not
looking through garbage.

And I'm looking through garbage.

I'm sorry, but how else
are we gonna find

Mr. Fischoeder's
dark, dirty secrets

without going through
his dark, dirty trash?

I just want this to be over.

What are you
so excited to get back to?

Ooh, Felix. Let's talk to Felix.

- Oh, uh, no?
- Yes.

He knows things
about his brother,

and I'm sure he'll be happy
to help us.

I'm not helping you.

Especially with
prank stuff. Go away.

But...
- I'm going upstairs now
and you can't follow

'cause you're too uncoordinated
to go up a spiral staircase.

What? No, I can. I think.

Don't you just keep turning?

- Come on, we need the info.
- Okay, fine.

Ugh, you followed me?

Well, do not criticize
my form.

Felix, please just tell us what
Mr. Fischoeder cares about,

so we can prank him.

All we're asking is for you

to violate your brother's trust

and tell us his deepest
most intimate secrets.

What about me?

Maybe I'd like to be pranked

by my brother sometime.

But he only has time
for Bob, Bob, Bob.

Wait, what's that photo?

Oh, that's just
Calvin and my father

on Dad's precious golf cart.

They would patrol
Wonder Wharf in it,

throwing firecrackers
at carnies who were slacking.

- You know, father-son stuff.
- Mm.

I wasn't allowed to ride in it

because I had what at the time

was called sneaky bladder.

Why do you have this photo?

No reason. I don't pee on it
for revenge sometimes.

Okay. Is this the golf cart
Mr. Fischoeder still uses?

My father passed it on to him.
Along with a lot of money.

And property.
And everything. It's fine.

That's it,
we prank his golf cart.

That's what he cares about.

I told you I'm not
helping you prank.

Now, excuse me, I have to pee.

Yes, there he is.

Mr. Fischoeder gets his hair cut

while he's on his
rent-collecting route,

so we got an hour for the prank.

I still don't understand why

it takes that long
for a haircut.

He has it cut
one hair at a time.

I guess he thinks
that makes it fancier.

How do you know this?

Mr. Fischoeder talks
about it. A lot.

Hey, you should get
your one hair cut that way.

I'm calling Teddy
to tell him we're a go.

How much longer?

Rewiring an old golf cart horn

to play a fart sound is not
a job you can rush, Bob.

We got different voltages,
a lot of weird-colored wires.

I don't want to get
philosophical on you,

but it's like a beautiful chaos
under here.

- As fast as you can.
- I love novelty horns.

My truck horn used to play
the song Tequila.

Great tune.
Got pulled over for a lot

of sobriety checks,
but it was worth it.

Okay, we're ready
to connect the horn button

to our fart device.

- Gene?
- So, what're we in the mood for?

There's flirty.

Shy.

Brooding.

Whimsical.

Doesn't matter.

Just give it to Teddy, please.

I guess someone doesn't
care about artistry.

Okay, so I left a message

for Mr. Fischoeder
to come by for the rent.

- We have the rent?
- No, of course not.

But he'll come from that way

where the barbershop is,

and he'll honk his annoying horn

like he always does,

and a big fart
will come out instead.

Farty gave a party
and Mr. Fischoeder came.

I'm starting to get
April Fool's Day.

This is kind of fun.

Look at you,

"Prankie Goes to Hollywood."

Maybe I'll do
more pranks after this.

Everything could be a prank.

Not everything.

Sometimes it's just
a romantic and economical trip

to a frozen yogurt place, right?

Yeah. I mean, no way

is Jimmy Jr. trying
to get you there

so he can sneak
back and rob your room.

Right, I agree.

Or get you to eat so fast

that you get brain freeze
and make that weird sound.

- No!
- No, it's more of a...

- What the hell, Louise?
- Yeah, knock it off, honey.

These are the things
I hope don't happen.

Like, instead of Jimmy Jr.,

it's Andy on Ollie's shoulders
in a trench coat.

- Ah!
- Oh, he's coming.

What in the...

- Ha! April Fool...
- No brakes! No brakes!

Whoa, what-what's happening?

I think he said
"no brakes, no brakes." Oh.

Oh, my God.

Is my megaphone okay?

Is what Tina was wondering.

Tina, now's not the time.

So, not a great prank, Bob.

I don't know what happened.

This is why I didn't want
to prank our landlord.

Do you think
Mr. Fischoeder is all right?

- Bob tried to kill me.
- What?

You all saw it.
Bob cut my brake line.

No. It was an accident.

He-He wanted me to prank him.

W-We didn't cut his brake line,
it was a fart horn thing.

I think Bob used April Fool's
as a cover for murder.

Maybe because
he's resentful of being

the ridiculous butt
of my genius pranks.

He does have a ridiculous butt.

You know, I-I think you went
a little too far here, Bob.

Me?
Y-You disconnected something.

He did it.
This guy did it.

Novelty horn wiring
isn't an exact science.

And you kept distracting me when
I was trying to work, as you do.

Murderer. You're blackballed
at Reflections.

Your glitter account
is closed, Tyra Pranks.

We have a glitter account?

Uh, yeah.

We use a lot of glitter, Bob.

- I don't know what to tell you.
- Oh, my.

Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Dowling.

This isn't what it looks like.

It is what it looks like.

Bob tried to murder
Mr. Fischoeder.

I wouldn't bank with Bob
if I were you.

And I sure as heck wouldn't
let him work on your car.

We already have so many
reasons not to bank with Bob.

- I'll throw it on the list.
- I don't like that list.

Bob, I'm gonna
take the kids inside.

I'm not saying
this is an angry mob

that might attack you,
but if it is,

I don't want the kids to see it.

Mom'll come back out
with a broken bottle

if you need her, though.

- I'm so sorry, Mr. Fischoeder.
- Shh.

I'm listening to his heart
with this thing.

- Your stethoscope?
- Are you a doctor?

Yep. His heart sounds weird.

All right,
let's put him in the cargo area.

Cargo area?
Wait, I know you.

Aren't you the tenant

Mr. Fischoeder
brought over this morning?

No. 'Cause I'm this.

You had that dumb
chain store idea.

- You're dumb.
- Wait--

We're driving off fast now. Bye.

What's going on?

I swear, it was the same guy.

And definitely not
a great paramedic.

Bob, a lot of people
look like other people.

Like Jessie Eisenberg
and that other guy.

Wait. They're different people?

And you do call me Gene
sometimes. A lot.

Parents do that, Tina.

And you pretty much always
pick up the wrong remote

and keep jabbing it at the TV
when it doesn't work.

It's rough to watch.

It's why I almost stopped coming
to movie night.

They look a lot alike.

Dad, maybe you're
a little out of sorts

because you almost on purpose
killed someone.

Kids, Mr. Fischoeder's
gonna be fine. Probably.

Oh, by the way, Bob,
Joel called.

He can't deliver our buns today.

- Um, that's kind of a problem.
- And then our meat guy called,

and he can't deliver, either.

So problem solved.

They probably both got sick
or kidnapped or something

on the same day; it happens.

But what if word has gotten out,

- and we're blackballed?
- No.

Bob, you're upset.
It's been a crazy day.

Why don't you take the garbage
out and get some air?

- Some back-alley air.
- Fine.

Hey, maybe the police will
look through our trash later,

- like we looked through
Mr. Fischoeder's.
- Mm.

What the hell?

Oh-- Oh, God.
Oh, my God...

- Aah!
- Aha.

This is Mr. Fischoeder's
golf cart.

- But I saw it get wrecked.
- Um...

No, I didn't.

That was a decoy golf cart,
wasn't it?

Uh, I go now, bye. Kisses.

Bup-bup-bup-bup.
After we left the treehouse,

you told Calvin I was going
to prank him with the cart.

So he was one step ahead of me.

- No, dum-dum. He told me.
- What?

I said,
"Do you like the Bee Gees?"

Wait. When I saw the photo,

all your weird lunges were
pointing right at it.

- Not weird, athletic.
- You wanted me to notice

- the golf cart picture.
- Ugh.

Yes, Bob. And it took
so many lunges.

Calvin planned everything.
He even wore a padded suit

for the "accident."

The brakes were fine.
He faked the whole thing.

None of it was real.
The paramedic-tenant guy...

- A carny in a costume.
- Oh, my God.

Am I still being pranked?

All I know is Calvin
is gonna come by tonight

in a full body cast

and burst out of it
and say April Fool's.

Act surprised.
He's also rented 50 doves

to fly out of the cast
when it breaks open.

Wait. Is you telling me this
also part of the prank?

Probably. Let's say yes.

Oh, I hate April Fool's Day.

Now, excuse me,
I'm off to buy dove food.

I'm guessing tacos?
Or Dove Bars?

I just wanted
a simple frozen yogurt date.

With some light handholding,
or heavy,

depending on
how sticky our hands were.

I know, but the safest move now
is simply not to show up.

- You're saying...
- Fro-yo no-show.

But am I being paranoid?

- He's after me.
- You mean like hmm-hmm?

You okay, Bob? You seem great,
just checking.

I found out that Mr. Fischoeder
is still messing with me.

The prank I thought
I was pranking him with

was really him pranking me
with my own prank.

The whole time. You see?

I see that you see something.

We all love you, Bob.

I don't even know how
many people are in on it.

The paramedic?
Edith? Mr. Dowling?

Our meat and bun people?

Okay, still not really sure

what you're talking about, but
probably not that many people

are in on it, right?

Bob's Burgers.
I can't talk now. Bye.

That was Fischoeder, wasn't it?
You can't talk because I'm here.

- You're in on it, Lin.
- It was a telemarketer.

You're a liar-marketer.

- Bobby, no.
- Or what about Teddy?

Ready to pitch in
'cause you happened to have

a novelty car horn in the '90s?

Most people did back then, Bob.
Rush hour was a lot of fun.

Or maybe Louise, who led me
straight to Felix.

Wait, am I in on it?
I kind of want to be in on it.

Or Tina,
with your water spraying.

- You look nice, but you're not.
- Damn.

Gene.
Dear, sweet, innocent Gene.

So pure, so simple.
I know you're not in on it.

- You couldn't be.
- Simple?

You know what?
I'm gonna go see Mr. Fischoeder

and demand my life back.

Why not ask for
a better one instead?

And I'm taking Gene.
He's the only one I can trust.

I'm flattered and terrified.
Flatterfied?

Can I go to the bathroom
before we leave?

No. Maybe.
What kind?

Ah, I don't want to
put a label on it.

I have to go, too.
Can I go first?

You definitely should.

I hear them. They're up there.

You ready to do this?

No. Are you?

I think so.
I mean, we've come this far.

We haven't gone up
the ladder yet.

I did it earlier.

- It's... really hard.
- Should we give up?

No. Let's start climbing,

- but we'll-we'll take breaks.
- I love breaks.

Bit more cocoa
in your rum, Calvin?

Oh, I shouldn't. I still have
to fit inside my body cast.

- And leave room for 50 doves.
- Well, well,

isn't this cozy?

- And cocoa-y.
- Bob.

Uh, close your eyes
and imagine I'm in a cast.

No, no, no.
The jig is up.

I want the pranking to stop.

And I'm not leaving
until you promise me we're done.

Or until we get some cocoa,
at the very least.

Bob, calm down.
The pranking is done now.

You've ruined the last bit.

Also, I don't know why
you're mad. I'm the one

who's out all the dove money.

Why, Mr. Fischoeder?

Why did you put me
through this?

I-I did what you wanted.

I pranked you.
I mean, I tried.

Yes, but did you, Bob?

Did you really try?

First I had to beg you.

Then I had to threaten you.

I manipulated you,
and all I was going to get

for my trouble
was a fart horn.

Hey.
Bob, you up here?

- Linda?
- We were worried,

so we decided to follow you.

We saw you and Gene
climbing up here.

- Not at all awkwardly.
- Lot of breaks.

Come on, let's go home

before you do or say anything
to our very nice-ish landlord

- that you'll regret.
- Yes, Bob, go home and rest up

- for next April Fool's.
- It's never going to stop,
is it?

I don't see why it would.

The question you should
be asking is how will

I keep topping myself?

how many cubic feet of Jell-O

would 10,000 boxes make?

We owe it to ourselves
to find out.

No. No...

Or, different direction.
I wonder what

the restaurant actually weighs

if one were to rent a
really big crane.

With us in it or not?

Oh, why isn't it
next year already?

Stop... talking...
about... pranks!

Easy, Bob.

What? No-- No.

Ah! My dear Bob.

Gotcha.

April Fool's, Mr. Fischoeder.

- The unsightly scaffolding.
- It held.

- Which was not a guarantee.
- How'd you do it?

Well, an hour ago,

I was about to come here
and yell at you.

But I cooled down,
and then it came to me.

The thing you care
about most on April Fool's

- seems to be me.
- Brag.

So, I should
make myself the prank.

- You've got a lot to work with.
- Thank you.

First I asked Teddy
to move his scaffolding

from the main house to here.

I got lucky because you were

playing with your doves
in the aviary.

So to speak.

Then I called Felix
and asked him

for a second time
to help prank you,

and this time he said yes.

I suggested murder you,
as a joke,

but Bob said it was too big.

His job was to lure you
over here with cocktails.

It was going to be
cocktails and belly dancing,

but I couldn't find
my finger bells.

Linda's job was to bring

the girls
and act sad when I died.

I didn't know it was gonna look
so scary; a little pee came out.

And I told Dad
exactly how to scream.

His natural scream is
much higher.

And Gene knew everything
and never gave it away.

It was hard not
to shout it out,

but I just concentrated
on the cocoa.

Which I still haven't received,
by the way.

Gene, your first
April Fool's prank.

Well done, Bob.
I felt something.

Aw, see?
We prank 'cause we love.

Next year, you and me.
Same time, different pranks?

You know, we could
just have a beer sometime.

Uh, I don't think so.

Uh, Bob, now that I see it

from this angle,
the scaffolding might be

missing a few bolts.

- What?
- You want to hop back up
on the balcony here?

Okay.

- Uh, April Fool's?
- Oh, my God.

Ah, I love this day.

- I'd like to go home.
- Yeah.

Goodbye, burgermongers.

Don't touch anything
on the way out.

Hey, we need to drop Tina off
for her frozen yogurt date.

Wait, what about
all the stuff you said?

I was kinda
April foolin' with you.

I mean, what's the worst
that can happen?

It can't be as bad as Dad's day.

Huh. I guess not.

And like Mom said, sometimes

you prank the people
you like the most.

Seriously?
It's April Fool's Day?

I thought that wasn't until May.

No, it's today. April first.

Oh, is that
why you were so late, Tina?

- Were you pranking me?
- Yes?

- April Fool's?
- Oh, man, you got me.

♪ You are the one
I love to prank ♪

♪ You've got the chain
I yearn to yank ♪

♪ I don't really get it,
but I can't forget it ♪

♪ You are my April Fool ♪

♪ Pencil me in for April one ♪

♪ I'll make your day
come all undone ♪

♪ It brings me such joy
when you're one baffled boy ♪

♪ You are my April fool ♪

♪ You are
my April fool. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.