Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482
D'
3
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
Aah!
4
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,541
I don't need your crummy job,
Mister Employer.
5
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,418
I won the lottery!
6
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,213
Well, who needs employees?
I won the lottery too!
7
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,340
We both won the lottery!
8
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,842
Why don't you
win the lottery too?
9
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,679
Where everybody wins!
10
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,932
Actual odds of winning:
one in 380 million.
11
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,266
The lottery...
12
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,686
Exploiter of the poor
and ignorant.
13
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:48,191
You know, I heard the jackpot's
up to $130 million.
14
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,194
$130 million?
15
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,155
Did you say $130 million?
16
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,406
- Yeah.
- Wow!
17
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,082
Yes, yes. Here's
your lottery ticket.
18
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,917
Thank you for knocking
over my inventory.
19
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,335
Please, come again.
20
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,337
Bart, I need
some lucky numbers fast.
21
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,713
How old are you?
22
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,090
And what's your birthday?
23
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,299
No kidding.
24
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,968
And what's Lisa's birthday?
25
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:16,737
What? You don't know
your sister's birthday?
26
00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:18,096
What kind of brother are you?
27
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,473
Strap on your
bulletproof vest, Sanjay.
28
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,058
It's time for another bank run.
29
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,018
Alright, but if I don't make it
30
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,562
promise you won't
sleep with my wife.
31
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,938
I promise nothing.
32
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,917
You'll never guess
what happened, Marge.
33
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,192
Are you ready?
34
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:35,822
I have a feeling
that we may win...
35
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,448
the lottery!
36
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,908
But we never, ever...
37
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,535
I know you're excited,
38
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:42,453
but calm down and listen
to me carefully.
39
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,080
Go get all your money...
40
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,415
I buy one lottery ticket a week
41
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,292
with the girls
at the hair salon.
42
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:48,710
We each play our birthday,
43
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,129
and that's enough
excitement for me.
44
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,881
You don't understand, Marge.
45
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,340
The lottery is the
one ray of hope
46
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,343
in my otherwise unbearable life!
47
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,013
The lottery and you.
48
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:02,140
Homer, we're on a
tight budget, here.
49
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,434
Promise me you won't
get carried away.
50
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,060
Yes, money... I mean honey.
51
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:09,022
Ooh! Here comes the news
report about the lottery.
52
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,566
Hey, down in front.
53
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:14,611
The whole state is suddenly
in the grip of lottery fever
54
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,238
and Springfield is no exception.
55
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,783
In fact, every copy
of Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery"
56
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,328
has been checked out
from the Springfield Public Library.
57
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,555
Of course, the book does
not contain any hints
58
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,331
on how to win the lottery.
59
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,666
It is rather a chilling tale
of conformity gone mad.
60
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,814
But there's already
one big winner...
61
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,798
Our state school system
62
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,318
which gets fully half the profits
from the lottery.
63
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,093
Just think what we can buy
with that money:
64
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,638
History books that know how
the Korean War came out.
65
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,682
Math books that don't have
that Base-6 crap in them.
66
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,726
And a state-of-the-art
detention hall
67
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,396
where children are held
in place with magnets.
68
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,149
Magnets,
always with the magnets.
69
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:03,326
I've never been
so sure of anything in my life.
70
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,745
I am going to win this lottery.
71
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:09,082
Homer, the odds
are 380 million to one.
72
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:13,086
Correction:
380 million to 50!
73
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,838
So, what are you gonna do
with your share of the money, kids?
74
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:16,923
Put it in the bank.
75
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,341
Give it to the poor.
76
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,593
Pfft. What do kids know
about spending money?
77
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,886
What are you gonna do, Homer?
78
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,226
Hey Homer, what did you do,
get a haircut or something?
79
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,770
Look closer, Lenny.
80
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,230
I know what it is.
81
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,898
You're the biggest man
in the world now
82
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,566
and you're covered in gold.
83
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,694
14-karat gold.
84
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,737
Take a hike, boss.
85
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,864
I'm running things now.
86
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,659
All hail King Homer.
87
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,425
We now take you
to the drawing live.
88
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,552
I hope you've got
your tickets. I've got mine.
89
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,554
They're about to start, Chief.
90
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,472
No, you got the wrong number.
91
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,433
This is 91... 2.
92
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,103
We'll be with you
in a minute, kids.
93
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:15,023
This could be our ticket
out of here, Mel.
94
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,692
I will now draw
the first winning number.
95
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:23,156
I've got so many tickets
I can't lose.
96
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,325
The first number is 17.
97
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,492
D'
98
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,594
You can still win some money
99
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:28,679
if you have five out of six.
100
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,121
Woo-hoo!
101
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,498
And the second number
is... three.
102
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,582
D'
103
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,669
Yeah, I knew we wouldn't win.
104
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,630
Well, why didn't you
tell the rest of us?
105
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,674
Why did you keep it a secret!?
106
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,302
If you were 17, we'd be rich.
107
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:48,514
But no, you had to be ten.
108
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,018
And the final number
is... 49.
109
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,896
38... 49!
110
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,648
My God...
I won. I won!
111
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,155
Recapping our day's top story:
112
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,838
the winner of today's
state lottery is...
113
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,868
me, Kent Brockman.
114
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,411
Can we get a shot of me?
115
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:14,332
There you go.
In other news...
116
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,542
A tragic mix-up
today in Cleveland.
117
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,921
Many people killed.
118
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,966
Good-bye!
119
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,344
Well, we lost the money
120
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,346
but at least we've
still got each other.
121
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,139
Hey, the dog's dead.
122
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,149
Grampa, he's not dead.
123
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,360
Dad, you shouldn't say
the dog's dead when he's not.
124
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:45,571
It's not fair to toy with
people's emotions like that.
125
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,032
He is dead.
I'll get a shovel.
126
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,202
Well, he's not dead,
but he is awfully sick.
127
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:54,122
Sure, the old man's
off his rocker.
128
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:58,209
If Grampa says he's dead,
he must be alive.
129
00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,210
He is alive.
130
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,379
He's wagging his tail.
131
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:02,755
That don't mean nothin'!
132
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,566
Dogs wag their tails
for hours after they die.
133
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,217
I'm tired of this conversation.
134
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,136
Let's talk about something else.
135
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,220
I'm going home.
136
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,393
Clear.
137
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,021
Clear.
138
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,648
Doctor, he's gone.
139
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,859
This is the part
of the job I hate.
140
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,947
Hey, you did the best you could.
141
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,740
I love animals.
142
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:33,119
I spend my life saving them,
and they can't thank me.
143
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,037
Well, the parrots can,
but anyway,
144
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,961
let's see what's wrong
with this little fellow.
145
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,380
I'm afraid that your dog
has a twisted stomach.
146
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,966
He needs an operation
to correct it
147
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,135
or he'll die.
148
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,970
How much will it cost?
149
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,972
$750.
150
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,891
Dear.
151
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,560
This is never an easy decision.
It's an awful lot of money.
152
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,438
Well, I guess
we'll have to talk it over.
153
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,565
Talk what over?
What's there to talk about?
154
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,775
What are we gonna talk over?
155
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,612
Mr. Teeny needs a refill
of his nicotine gum.
156
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,156
I can't help but notice
we're leaving the hospital.
157
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,617
When's the dog going
to get his operation?
158
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,119
Later.
First I want to tell you
159
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,205
about the most wonderful place
160
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,372
in the world...
161
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,291
Doggie Heaven.
162
00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,669
In Doggie Heaven,
there's mountains of bones
163
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,087
and you can't turn around
164
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,131
without sniffing
another dog's butt.
165
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,008
And all the best dogs
are there...
166
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,386
Old Yeller and about
eight Lassies, and...
167
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,763
Is there a doggie hell?
168
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,515
Well, of course,
there couldn't be
169
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,058
a heaven if there
weren't a hell.
170
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:40,478
- Who's in there?
Hitler's dog,
171
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,813
and that dog Nixon had,
what's his name? Chester?
172
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,482
Checkers.
173
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,151
Yeah, and one of the Lassies
is in there too.
174
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,154
The mean one...
The one that mauled Timmy.
175
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,864
Hey, wait a minute,
176
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,467
does this have anything to do
with Santa's Little Helper?
177
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:56,702
Honey, $750 is a lot of money.
178
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,872
We really can't afford
this operation.
179
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,499
You're gonna just let him die?
180
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:02,959
I know you're upset.
181
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,544
Darn right I'm upset!
182
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,254
Bart, watch your language.
183
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,714
You did. Sorry.
184
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,842
We're not going to let
our dog die, and that's it!
185
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,512
Lousy, dog-killing son-of-a...
186
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,599
Well, it will be okay.
187
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,850
We'll get him a new dog...
188
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,144
One with an untwistable stomach.
189
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,608
Come on.
190
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,569
I'm sorry but we just
can't afford it.
191
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,823
Marge, make him stop.
192
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,535
All right, all right,
we'll find a way.
193
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,787
Lousy, manipulative dog.
194
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,748
Mr. Burns
I need to borrow some money.
195
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,667
Please, do go on.
196
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,295
I know you're a good man
197
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:50,339
and I have a dog
that's very sick.
198
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,425
Please, continue.
199
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,594
I thought maybe you...
200
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,973
Well, thanks for your time.
201
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,601
What makes a man
endanger his job
202
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,563
and, yes, even his life
by asking me for money?
203
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,398
People like dogs,
Mr. Burns.
204
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,692
Nonsense. Dogs are idiots.
205
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,570
Think about it, Smithers,
If I came into your house
206
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,196
and started sniffing
at your crotch
207
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,865
and slobbering
all over your face
208
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,991
what would you say?
209
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,993
If you did it, sir?
210
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,913
Exactly. You'd be fit
to be tied. Dogs!
211
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,167
- No!
- What?
212
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,836
You are not going to perform
that operation yourself.
213
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:30,421
But Marge, it looks so easy.
214
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,006
Just like carving a turkey.
215
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,178
Eww!
216
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,890
Maybe you're right, Marge.
217
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,980
I found a way we can pay
for the operation.
218
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,274
- All right!
- Hear that, boy?
219
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,777
- What do you got, Marge, insurance scam?
- No.
220
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,111
I'm afraid we're just going
221
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,405
to have to make
a few sacrifices.
222
00:10:56,489 --> 00:11:00,701
Homer, you're going to have
to give up beer for a while.
223
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,203
Bart, from now on,
224
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:03,913
you'll have to get
your hair cut for free
225
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,623
at Springfield Barber College.
226
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,375
No problemo.
227
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,919
I'm going to give up buying
my weekly lottery ticket
228
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,713
and I found a way to stretch
the food budget.
229
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,091
Fried chicken night will now
be organ meat night.
230
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,260
Ham night will be Spam night,
and pork chop night...
231
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,179
Will be chub night.
232
00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:22,848
Chub? I don't even know
what that is.
233
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,267
Lisa, I'm afraid
we'll have to stop getting you
234
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,745
those volumes of
Encyclopedia Generica
235
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,230
from the grocery store.
236
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,023
But Mom, next week is
volume four...
237
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,109
Copernicus
through Elephantiasis.
238
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,653
We all have
to make sacrifices, dear.
239
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:39,782
Maggie's baby clothes will have
to last for a little longer.
240
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,117
Marge, I've figured out
241
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,036
an alternative
to giving up my beer.
242
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,415
Basically, we become a family
of traveling acrobats.
243
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,794
I don't think
you've thought this through.
244
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,299
Good news, Mr. Danielson.
245
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,135
We saved your gamecock,
246
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,971
but I'm afraid
he'll never fight again.
247
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,347
That's what you think.
248
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,807
He'll fight and he'll win.
249
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,937
Clamp.
250
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,108
Wipe.
251
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:16,986
No!
252
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,195
No!
253
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,699
Come to the light, boy.
254
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,743
Come into the light.
255
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,035
Come on now.
256
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,954
There's a good boy.
257
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,331
Come on. Come on.
258
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,886
Um, Simpson?
259
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,975
Santa's Little Helper,
you're alive!
260
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,435
You're all better now!
261
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,686
It's times like this I'm glad
262
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,897
I flunked out of dental school.
263
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:58,110
Lousy chub night.
264
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,112
Hey, how come he gets
meat and we don't?
265
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,572
You wouldn't want
what he's eating.
266
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,033
It's mostly just
snouts and entrails.
267
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,411
Snouts.
268
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,871
Yes, I'm back.
269
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,414
Kent Brockman
is not the kind of man
270
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,124
who would leave
a $500,000-a-year job
271
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,959
just because he won a lottery.
272
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,378
Hey, I'm a journalist.
273
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,756
Well, he's got all the money
in the world
274
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,175
but there's one thing
he can't buy.
275
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,845
- What's that?
- A dinosaur.
276
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,680
Of course, I'm not the only one
277
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,408
who benefitted from
last week's big payoff.
278
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,476
Our state schools got
their share too.
279
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,895
Here, lottery officials present
Springfield Elementary
280
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,980
with a brand-new eraser.
281
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,482
One eraser?
282
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,651
I'm used to my government
betraying me.
283
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,736
I was in 'Nam.
I served for 3...
284
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,072
And speaking of lotteries
285
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,491
here are the winning numbers
for this week's
286
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,574
$40,000 'jackpot'.
287
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:50,412
3-6-17-18-22 and 29.
288
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,789
No!
289
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,415
Those are my numbers.
290
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,219
If it wasn't for that dog,
I would have won.
291
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,630
Class, for tomorrow, I want
you to write a report
292
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,799
on Copernicus.
293
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,133
D'
294
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,927
Come on, booze hound.
295
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,345
You want the 25 cents,
don't you?
296
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,264
Keep singing!
297
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,225
♪ Buffalo gals, won't you
come out tonight? ♪
298
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,309
♪ Come out tonight? ♪
299
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,103
♪ Come out tonight? ♪
300
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:16,063
Who's that old rummy?
301
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,648
Before his dog got sick
302
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,442
that old rummy used
to be my best customer.
303
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,319
♪ ...of the moon ♪
304
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,281
Sing it, baby!
305
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,282
Go get it, pal!
306
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,409
My quarter! Aagh!
307
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,287
Okay, I'll just even
this out and...
308
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:36,000
Mr. Laswell...
I've done it again.
309
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,962
I know you can't understand me
310
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:43,340
but you're a lousy dog
and I hate you.
311
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,217
Not now.
312
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,012
Can't you see I'm reading
a third-rate biography
313
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,764
of Copernicus I found
at the bus station?
314
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:51,891
Dumb dog.
315
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,274
Homie, did you close the gate?
316
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,357
Yes.
317
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,740
You mean tonight.
318
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,991
The dog will get out.
319
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,827
Bart, close the gate!
320
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,289
Lisa, close the gate!
321
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:18,334
Close the gate, Maggie!
322
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,686
Here, boy!
323
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,482
Here, Santa's Little Helper!
324
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,527
It's all my fault.
325
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,363
I called him a dumb dog.
326
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,949
He's gone and he's never
coming back.
327
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,034
Wait! There he is!
328
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,036
No, that's a horse.
329
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,089
Have you found a picture yet?
330
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,092
Not one that
I want the public to see.
331
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,266
Dear.
332
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,934
So, recycling
333
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,854
is our way of giving
Mother Earth a great big hug.
334
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,023
Yes, well,
it does sound like fun.
335
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,859
I can't wait to start pawing
through my garbage
336
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,611
like some starving raccoon.
337
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,822
Release the hounds.
338
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,240
Well, neighbor I see you've got
339
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:16,243
your running shoes on.
That's a good thing.
340
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,670
What's wrong with Crippler?
341
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,005
He's getting on, sir.
342
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,132
He's been here
since the late '60s.
343
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,092
Yes, I'll never forget the day
344
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,927
he bagged his first hippie.
345
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,555
That young man didn't think
it was too groovy.
346
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,478
I'm looking for something
in an attack dog...
347
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,190
One who likes the sweet,
gamey tang of human flesh.
348
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,734
Why, here's the fellow.
349
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:52,821
Wiry, fast, firm,
proud buttocks.
350
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,905
Reminds me of me.
351
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,121
The last one.
352
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,087
D'
353
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,798
Now, as an attack dog
354
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,050
you'll be expected
to neutralize intruders.
355
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,385
Want to buy some cookies?
Want to buy some cookies?
356
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,932
If that were a real girl scout
357
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,600
I'd have been bothered by now.
358
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,268
I know how you feel.
359
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,562
I lost my dog too.
360
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,272
He's in here somewhere.
361
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,069
Now here's a film
362
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,279
that will turn you into
a vicious, soulless killer.
363
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,115
Enjoy.
364
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,660
♪♪
365
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,879
Poor Santa's Little Helper.
366
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,424
I'm starting to think
we'll never see him again.
367
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,218
That was his dish
368
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,595
and that was his leash
369
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,099
and that's where he took
a whiz on the rug.
370
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,270
Homer, get a hold of yourself.
371
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:09,606
Even if he has passed on,
there's no reason to cry.
372
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,733
Remember, Doggie Heaven?
373
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,901
Marge!
374
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,945
There is no such place.
375
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,322
Or...
376
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,825
to put it another way...
377
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,493
there is.
378
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,079
I'm not giving up.
I don't care if I have to
379
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,373
knock on every door
in this two-bit town,
380
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,083
I'm gonna find my dog.
381
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,127
And I'll be right here
watching TV.
382
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,962
Poka, poka, poka.
383
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,631
Poka, poka, poka...
384
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,056
Excellent.
385
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,143
Hello, I'm Kent Brockman.
386
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:48,645
Excuse me, sir.
I lost my dog.
387
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,415
And I suppose you want me
to buy you a new one?
388
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,274
You know, ever since
I won the lottery
389
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,193
everybody wants a piece
of Kent Brockman...
390
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,862
Homeless this and hungry that.
391
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,822
Gee, I'm sorry, mister.
392
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,742
Sir, your llama
just bit Ted Kennedy.
393
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,160
Good!
394
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,628
I hate to interrupt your
longevity treatment, sir,
395
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:13,730
but there's a sweet
little boy at the door.
396
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,547
Release the hounds.
397
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,345
Santa's Little Helper!
It's you!
398
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,148
What's the matter, boy?
Don't you know me?
399
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,316
I'm your buddy.
400
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,363
I love you, boy.
401
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,267
Let me pet him again.
402
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,477
You already petted him
for ten minutes.
403
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,312
I know, I want to pet him again.
404
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,939
You can pet the cat.
405
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,941
The cat?
What's the point?
406
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,026
Good boy, Santa's Little Helper.
407
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,110
Good boy.
408
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,988
This will never,
ever happen again.
409
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,073
You can have anything you want.
410
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:26,576
You can sleep on my bed,
you can chew on slippers.
411
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:27,786
Yeah, he's a good doggie.
412
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,250
♪♪
413
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:36,562
Shh!
414
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,486
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
28744
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
