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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
3
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Aah!
4
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,404
Hey, what gives?
5
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,757
You said you wanted to live
in a world without zinc, Jimmy.
6
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,159
Well, now your car
has no battery.
7
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But I promised Betty
I'd pick her up by six.
8
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I better give her a call.
9
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,836
Sorry, Jimmy.
10
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Without zinc
for the rotary mechanism
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there are no telephones.
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Dear God.
13
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,342
What have I done?
14
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,931
Think again, Jimmy.
15
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You see, the firing pin
in your gun was made of...
16
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,352
yup... zinc.
17
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,354
Come back, zinc.
18
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Come back!
19
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,150
Come back.
20
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,360
Zinc, come back.
21
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,361
Zinc!
22
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,362
Zinc, zinc!
23
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What?
24
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It was all a dream.
25
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Thank goodness I still live
in a world of telephones
26
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,624
car batteries, handguns,
and many things
27
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made of zinc.
28
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,211
Gross! He's picking his nose.
29
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,298
Hmph!
30
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,550
If anyone wants to learn
more about zinc,
31
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,177
they're welcome to stay.
32
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We can talk about anything.
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I'll do your homework for you.
34
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"Chef Lonely Heart's
Soup for One."
35
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One scratch and win, Apu.
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Mrs. Krabappel,
I haven't seen you
37
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since we doubled our prices.
38
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Still teaching?
39
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Let's see.
40
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,618
One more day at least.
41
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,457
Bingo, bango,
sugar in the gas tank.
42
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,251
Your ex-husband strikes again.
43
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,683
A personal ad?
44
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:22,684
Why not?
45
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It might be fun.
46
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Kind of a lark.
47
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Come on, come on.
48
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Answer the phone.
49
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I need a man!
50
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My eyeball!
51
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Enough, people.
52
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People?
53
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,916
All right.
54
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,295
You know, I can wait
just as long as you.
55
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Knock it off!
56
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,217
Now, boys and girls,
57
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,303
let's welcome
our very special guest,
58
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,764
Ted Carpenter from
the Twirl King Yo-yo Company.
59
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,644
Kids, this is a yo-yo.
60
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,313
Kind of dull?
61
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,982
Not much competition
for a video game...
62
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or is it?
63
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Presenting
the Twirl King Champions!
64
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,241
Mr. Amazing!
65
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,743
Sparkle!
66
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,124
She's beautiful.
67
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,667
Zero gravity!
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00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,381
The Cobra!
69
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,970
These guys must be millionaires.
70
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,723
I'll bet they get
all kinds of girls.
71
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,684
I question the educational
value of this assembly.
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00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,770
Hey, it will be one of
their few pleasant memories
73
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,647
when they're pumping gas
for a living.
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00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:55,693
♪ This is the dawning
of the age of Aquarius ♪
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00:03:55,777 --> 00:04:01,157
♪ Age of Aquarius ♪
76
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,451
♪ Aquarius... ♪
77
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,289
Now, for our next stunt,
what do you say
78
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,708
- we get your principal up here?
- No.
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00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,589
Careful now...
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00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,799
That one grazed my ear.
81
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,050
Don't move.
82
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,385
You could really get hurt.
83
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,053
How much do those yo-yo's cost?
84
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,471
I don't care.
85
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:26,975
Wow!
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00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,434
Thanks, Sparkle.
87
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,435
Wait...
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This isn't you.
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00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,230
That's the old Sparkle.
90
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,624
All right, get your
worthless butts in the van.
91
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:34,667
We got three more schools to do.
92
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,901
C'mon, let's go, go, go!
93
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,416
That's your trick?
94
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,419
No. Here's my trick.
Hoowah!
95
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,509
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
96
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,592
Thank you.
Thank you.
97
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,596
Marge, come here.
98
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,310
Can you believe it?
99
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,103
Pretty soon, I'll be able
to quit my job
100
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,604
and live off the boy.
101
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,356
What? Name me one person
102
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,900
who's gotten rich
by doing yo-yo tricks.
103
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,528
Donald Trump? No.
104
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,447
Arnold Palmer? No.
105
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,907
Bill Cosby? No.
106
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,117
D'
107
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,744
"After two months at sea,
108
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,388
the Pilgrims were running out
of food and water."
109
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,455
Yes, Nelson?
110
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,248
Did they have any yo-yos?
111
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,958
No, they did not have yo-yos.
112
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,793
"When they landed
at Plymouth Rock,
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00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,629
they were greeted by
the friendly Wompanog Indians."
114
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,340
Did the Indians have yo-yos?
115
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,258
No, they did not have yo-yos!
116
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,344
That's it!
I am sick and tired
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00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,845
of talking about yo-yos.
118
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,847
From now on, I will not
accept any book report
119
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,807
science projects, dioramas,
120
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,852
or anything else on yo-yos,
or yo-yo related topics.
121
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,520
Am I making myself clear?
122
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Yo.
123
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Hey, Bart,
124
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,525
got any new tricks for us today?
125
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Just one.
126
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:04,030
A little something I call
"Plucking the Pickle."
127
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,990
I build up a little steam,
and...
128
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,914
I didn't do it.
129
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,750
Don't worry
about your wee fish, lass.
130
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,253
They're going to a better place.
131
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,215
Bart, that's one month's
detention.
132
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,300
Mrs. Krabappel, we're all upset
133
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,595
by the untimely deaths
of Stinky and Wrinkles
134
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:28,846
but life goes on.
135
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,599
So, if I could just have
my yo-yo back...
136
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,267
Bart, if I were you,
and you were me,
137
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,894
would you give back the yo-yo?
138
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,688
Here you go...
just kidding.
139
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:38,772
Here you go...
140
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,691
Just kidding.
141
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,653
Well, would you?
142
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,654
Absolutely.
143
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,737
P-hih!
144
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,996
What's eating you, woman?
145
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,832
Your personal ad said
you wanted a man.
146
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,084
You got yourself a hum-dinger.
147
00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,836
I don't know.
I guess I expected
148
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,796
something different
from your photo.
149
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,506
Don't let my age fool you.
150
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,883
Just because there's a little
snow on the roof...
151
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,635
I forget how the rest
of that goes.
152
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,430
One month's detention.
153
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,931
She'll pay for this.
154
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,350
Yup, there's your problem.
155
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,228
Someone jammed
a Malibu Stacy head down here.
156
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:20,022
Edna, happy hour
in the teacher's lounge.
157
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,316
Just a sec.
158
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,869
"One plus one equals two?"
159
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:44,922
"Write Edna K. Box 402."
160
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,971
Dear Edna...
161
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,474
I never answered
a personal ad before
162
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,894
but I found yours irresistible.
163
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,813
My name is...
164
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:05,485
Woodrow.
165
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,944
I like holding hands
166
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,697
and dinner by candlelight
167
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,783
and yes, I really hate yo-yos.
168
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,952
Woodrow!
169
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,876
Maybe we should let the dog in.
170
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,545
Marge, dogs love the outdoors.
171
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,592
I think he needs a doghouse.
172
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,010
Yeah, but what are ya' gonna do?
173
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,138
I bet we could buy
a nice doghouse for $50.
174
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,350
Marge, you're a tool
of the doghouse makers.
175
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,601
I am not.
176
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,852
Yes, you are.
177
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,103
You've been brainwashed
178
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,148
by all those doghouse
commercials on TV.
179
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,734
I know. I'll build
him a doghouse.
180
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,110
I don't know.
181
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,029
Don't worry.
182
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,031
I just drew up
a little blueprint.
183
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,866
Let me walk you through it.
184
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,326
This is a door.
185
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,994
He goes through that...
186
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,788
This is a roof.
187
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,249
And this happy character here
is the Sun.
188
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,001
He shines down
on the house, see?
189
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,145
How was detention today, dear?
190
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,671
Not bad.
191
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:09,006
I'm starting to get
the hang of the floor-waxer.
192
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,760
Yes!
193
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,428
Dear Woodrow,
194
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,989
I must admit I'm intrigued.
You're not like
195
00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,515
the other men I've met.
196
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:20,851
Yeah, I'm the 28th president
of the United States.
197
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,187
But I've had some bad
experiences with these ads.
198
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,774
So, I'd like to learn more about you,
please write back soon.
199
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:30,903
Here's a photo that will
get your pencil moving.
200
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,656
You've got a date
with the Xerox machine.
201
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,659
Stupid lumber.
202
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,035
Damn it!
203
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,161
D'I...
204
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,372
The hell with this!
205
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,667
A fellow came in to the store today,
asked for change for a dollar.
206
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,253
Well, sir, I gave him three
quarters by mistake.
207
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,338
Took me the whole afternoon
to track him down.
208
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,941
Todd, would you like
some mixed vegetables?
209
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:51,965
Hell no.
210
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,385
What did you say?
211
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,262
I said, I don't want
any damn vegetables.
212
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,972
All right, that's it, young man!
213
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,974
No Bible stories for you
tonight.
214
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,854
Weren't you
a little hard on him?
215
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:05,956
Well, you knew I had a temper
216
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,231
when you married me.
217
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,234
Ned Flanders is on the phone.
218
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,362
If this is about
that stupid quarter again, I...
219
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,615
Hello, Ned.
220
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,285
Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy,
but I'm kind of in a tizzy...
221
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,078
Our son Todd just told us
222
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,639
he didn't want to eat
his "damn vegetables."
223
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:25,249
Well, you know
kids and vegetables.
224
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,542
What was it, asparagus?
225
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,710
No, no, Reverend.
226
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,253
The point is he said a bad word.
227
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,921
Right.
228
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:34,091
Well, kids usually pick
these things up from someplace.
229
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:37,803
Find out who's doing it
and direct them to the Bible.
230
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,221
Where in the Bible?
231
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,599
- Page 900.
- But, Rev...
232
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,310
Damn Flanders.
233
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,081
Hey, Lis, a moment of your time.
234
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,440
Yeah?
235
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,084
Suppose I was writing
a second letter to a girl
236
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,818
and I already used up
my "A" material.
237
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,362
What should I say?
238
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,006
Ooh, could it be
there's a special someone
239
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,156
you're not telling me about?
240
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,282
Please!
241
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,283
- Is it Teri?
- No.
242
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,618
- Is it Sheri?
- No!
243
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,411
Is it that girl
with the lazy eye patch?
244
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,746
No!
245
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,247
Is it that exchange student
Mix-pa?
246
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,249
No! It's not for me.
247
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,334
It's... homework.
248
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,794
Sure it is.
249
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:12,463
Hey, Bart,
let's do some homework.
250
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:19,345
Golly, Sergeant Carter,
I can't fix your Jeep,
251
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,639
but maybe this
will make it up to you.
252
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:25,976
♪ Galveston, Galveston... ♪
253
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,853
Is this all he watches?
254
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,064
He used to watch
"Davy and Goliath"
255
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,667
but he thought the idea
of a talking dog
256
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,652
was blasphemous.
257
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,797
Hey, Mom, did you save
the love letters Dad sent you?
258
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,031
Of course I saved them.
259
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,700
Well, actually, there's only one
260
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,243
and it's more
261
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,370
of a love postcard
from some brewery he visited.
262
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,040
"Maybe it's
the beer talking, Marge,
263
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,543
"but you've got a butt
that won't quit.
264
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,504
They got these big,
chewy pretzels here..."
265
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,633
"five dollars?!
Get outta here."
266
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,469
Wow, a side of Dad
I've never seen!
267
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,556
Penny for your thoughts, Miss K.
268
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,057
I was just thinking...
269
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,892
You wouldn't be interested.
270
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,644
Try me.
Sometimes it helps to talk.
271
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,565
Well, I was just wishing
I could meet a man
272
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:15,818
who likes the way I look
first thing in the morning
273
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,737
Laughs at my jokes...
274
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,488
- Can fix my car.
- Yeah.
275
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:24,660
"Dear Edna, your photo
took my breath away.
276
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:28,289
"Truly, yours
is a butt that won't quit.
277
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,416
"Yesterday morning,
278
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,002
"I put your picture up
in my garage
279
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,838
to inspire me while I
gapped my spark plugs."
280
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,008
At last,
we've built the mission.
281
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,969
Finally, the villagers
have a place to pray.
282
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,597
♪ Bringing in the sheaves ♪
283
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,599
♪ Bringing in the sheaves ♪
284
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,018
♪ We shall come rejoicing... ♪
285
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,187
♪ Bringing in the sheaves ♪
286
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,910
Well, he's not getting it
from his brother
287
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,482
that's for darn sure.
288
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,609
Damn crappy nails!
289
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,444
Super Glue, my butt!
290
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:00,738
D'You bas...
291
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,531
Hit it! Shot! D'
292
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,657
Homer?
293
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,493
What is it, Flanders?
294
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,495
I'm afraid I have a bone
to pick with you.
295
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,207
Look, if it's about your camcorder,
I lost it, okay?
296
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:15,085
No, I came to talk to you
about your potty mouth.
297
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,921
What the hell
are you talking about?
298
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,673
Look, Homer, all of us pull
a few boners now and then...
299
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,718
Go off half-cocked,
make asses of ourselves.
300
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,554
So, I don't want
to be hard on you but
301
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,848
I just wish you wouldn't curse
in front of my boys.
302
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,934
Come on now, Flanders.
303
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:33,521
I don't complain about your...
304
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,105
moustache.
305
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,358
What's wrong with my moustache?
306
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,569
It makes you look like
you got something to hide.
307
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,737
What?
308
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,114
People are talking.
Lots of people.
309
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,700
Okay, Mister, you've
got yourself a deal.
310
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,702
I'll shave off the soup-strainer
311
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,955
if you give the sailor talk
the old heave-ho, okay?
312
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:53,874
Aye, aye... Admiral Butthead.
313
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,709
We now return to
314
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,587
"Two for Tunisia"
on Colorization Theater.
315
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,965
My love.
316
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:04,218
A million poets could try
for a million years
317
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:07,012
and still describe but
three-eighths of your beauty.
318
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,682
Whoa, slow down, Frenchy.
319
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,350
This stuff is gold.
320
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:15,271
Wow! "A million poets working
for a million years..."
321
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,856
You're so lucky.
322
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,999
When are you going to meet him?
323
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,526
First, I ask him
to send a photo.
324
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:21,670
If he's got everything
where it should be
325
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,694
I'm reeling him in.
326
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,910
Strap on your skates, Gordie.
327
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,204
You're going in.
328
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,832
Hey, Marge, do you want
to hear something funny?
329
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,585
Flanders thinks
I swear too much.
330
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,005
Marge, you're not laughing.
331
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,798
Well, you know,
maybe he's right.
332
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,675
Well, what a surprise.
333
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,385
Marge sticks up for Flanders.
334
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,470
Can we have one conversation
335
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,181
where you don't bring up
your hero Ned Flanders?
336
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,701
Actually Homer,
you brought up Ned Flanders.
337
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,767
Look, we're past that.
338
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,270
Marge!
Maybe I do curse a little,
339
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,356
but that's the way God made me,
and I'm too old to stop now.
340
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,774
No, you're not.
341
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,484
When my father got
out of the Navy,
342
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,570
he used to curse a blue streak.
343
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,114
It almost cost him his job
as a baby photographer.
344
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:10,951
So my Mom put a swear jar
in the kitchen.
345
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,786
Every time he said a bad word,
346
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,289
he put in a quarter.
What do you think?
347
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,790
Well, Marge,
348
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,710
self-improvement has always
been a passion of mine.
349
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,005
Bring on the swear jar.
350
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,049
Do I have to pay
if I hit my hand with a hammer?
351
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,132
Yes, Homer.
352
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,843
- What if I catch on fire?
- No, Homer.
353
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,738
What if I see something
really weird in the sky?
354
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,763
Yes, Homer.
355
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,891
- What about when we snuggle?
- That's okay.
356
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:37,853
"Dear Woodrow, it's time for us to meet.
357
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,022
"Why don't we go out to dinner?
358
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,858
And afterward, we can go to
my apartment for some home cookin'."
359
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,028
Ay, caramba!
360
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,906
"Hungrily yours, Edna."
361
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,300
Well, she's dangled
on the line long enough.
362
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,743
It's time to boat this bass.
363
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:57,915
"When I read your letters, I feel
as if you are right here watching me."
364
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,209
- Bart! Eyes down.
- Yes, Ma'am.
365
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,586
"Edna, every second until we meet
366
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,922
"stabs me like
a thousand needles.
367
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,942
"Join me at
the Gilded Truffle this Saturday at 8:00.
368
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,094
"Perhaps later
we will smooch up a storm.
369
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,805
Sexily yours, Woody."
370
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:43,085
I can't help but feel
partly responsible.
371
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,593
- Homer, that was a 20.
- Da...
372
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,058
You son of a...
373
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,355
Homer, I owe you one, buddy.
374
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,607
No sooner had I shaved off
the old cookie duster
375
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,818
than a lady cast me
in a commercial.
376
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:10,946
I tell ya' the way these checks
keep coming in... it's almost criminal.
377
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,072
You dirty bast...
378
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,160
What do you think, Lisa?
379
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,162
How's the dog
supposed to get in?
380
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,830
Well, he just goes...
381
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,385
Woodrow,
how could you stand me up?
382
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,096
Mrs. K., whoever this guy is,
you don't need him.
383
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,848
There are plenty
of good men around.
384
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,141
Name one.
385
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,368
What's wrong
with Principal Skinner?
386
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,102
Seymour? Hmph.
387
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,772
Let's just say his mommy
won't let him out to play.
388
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,857
What about Coach Fortner?
389
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,233
Glug, glug, glug, glug...
390
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,985
Wow.
391
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,321
What about Groundskeeper Willy?
392
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,032
I'm not even gonna tell
you what that guy's into.
393
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:58,952
Bart, you are the closest
thing to a man in my life.
394
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,998
And that's so depressing,
I think I'm going to cry.
395
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,048
Aah..!
396
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:14,009
Fudge... that's broken.
397
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,761
Fiddle-dee-dee.
398
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,680
That will require
a tetanus shot.
399
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,641
I'm not going to swear
400
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,142
but I am going
401
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,394
to kick this doghouse down!
402
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,149
Dad, this is not
a commentary on your skills,
403
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,360
but we bought you
a new doghouse.
404
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,028
Where'd you get the money?
405
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,322
There was more than enough
in the swear jar,
406
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,951
and if you look inside the doghouse,
there's a little surprise.
407
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,203
Maggie.
408
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,287
Cute.
409
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,831
No, behind her.
410
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,876
Beer!
How did you know?
411
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,672
Where's Maggie?
Where's Maggie?
412
00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,423
There's Maggie!
413
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,512
Mom, this is a little
ahead of schedule
414
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,973
but I need help
with my love life.
415
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:04,685
My special little guy
has a sweetheart.
416
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,187
I knew it!
417
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,981
Alright Bart,
who's your girlfriend?
418
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,064
Mrs. Krabappel.
419
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,320
Bart, this is your teacher?
420
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,614
I should start going
to parent's night.
421
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:19,908
Homer!
422
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,869
Bart, you did a
very cruel thing.
423
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,912
Boy, you've got to go
to your teacher
424
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,330
and tell her the truth.
425
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,958
No, Homer. The truth
would humiliate her.
426
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,878
Marge, I only said it because I thought
that's what you wanted to hear.
427
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,130
Maybe we should
write her another letter
428
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:36,008
One that says good-bye,
but let's her feel loved.
429
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,551
Step aside, everyone.
430
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,721
Sensitive love letters
are my specialty.
431
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,600
"Dear Baby,
Welcome to Dumpville.
432
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,226
Population: you."
433
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,687
We'll all help.
434
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,356
"Though I'll be inoculating
babies in Kampuchea,
435
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,983
my heart will
always be with you."
436
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,234
That sucks.
437
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,029
How about "crocodiles
bit off my face"?
438
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,947
That's disgusting, and besides,
439
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,741
when a woman loves a man,
440
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,951
it doesn't matter that
a crocodile bit off his face.
441
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,579
I may hold you to that, Marge.
442
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:09,666
Okay, okay. "I cannot see you
for the next five years,
443
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,376
for I will be farming
the ocean floor."
444
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,546
"I must finish
this letter quickly,
445
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,257
for I have only
four minutes to live."
446
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:21,220
Three simple words:
"I am gay."
447
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,931
Homer, for the last time,
I am not putting that in.
448
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,350
"And anytime I hear
the wind blow,
449
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,061
it will whisper the name...
Edna."
450
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,104
That's very good, Lisa.
451
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,065
I am gay."
452
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,401
How shall we end it?
453
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,029
How about, "With a love that
will echo through the ages."
454
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,447
- Aww.
- Ooh!
455
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,698
That's sweet.
456
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,951
Homer, you old honey dripper.
457
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,370
Why, you little...
hee, hee.
458
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,007
Wait!
459
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,218
Wait!
460
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,224
"Dearest Edna, I must leave you.
461
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,101
"Why? I cannot say.
462
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,979
"Where? You cannot know.
463
00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:13,730
"How I will get there?
464
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,983
"I haven't decided yet.
465
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,151
"But one thing I can tell you,
466
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,362
"any time I hear the wind blow,
467
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:23,031
it will whisper
the name... Edna."
468
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,414
Bart, it's such
a nice day today,
469
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,040
let's have detention outside.
470
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,583
It's a date.
471
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,558
♪♪
472
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,453
Shh!
473
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:57,876
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
32565
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