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1
00:00:07,926 --> 00:00:09,344
[nobles laughing]
2
00:00:10,512 --> 00:00:13,598
{\an8}- [noble 1] Little tittle, darling?
- [noble 2] I thought you'd never ask.
3
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:16,476
[both laughing]
4
00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:20,313
- Mmm.
- Oh, Saltley, stop it.
5
00:00:26,945 --> 00:00:30,031
Massive diamond, darling? [chuckles]
6
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,324
Oh.
7
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,418
[horses whinnying]
8
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:46,631
- Hut! Giddyap! Hyah! Hut, hut!
- [gasps] Oh.
9
00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:48,008
What the devil is happening?
10
00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:51,636
Highwayman, sir. You're being robbed.
11
00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:58,226
- What are we to do?
- Your dueling pistol.
12
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,228
Ah, yes. Of course.
13
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:04,565
Here you go, driver. Good luck.
14
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:06,985
I think you'll find mine's bigger.
15
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:09,654
- [hammer cocks]
- Good Lord.
16
00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:13,742
- We'll have to make a run for it.
- I'm not sure I could in this dress.
17
00:01:13,742 --> 00:01:15,327
What have you done with my wife?
18
00:01:15,327 --> 00:01:16,661
- [wife] I'm over here.
- [grunts]
19
00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:19,164
[grunts]
20
00:01:21,875 --> 00:01:23,001
Who the devil are you?
21
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:25,545
Darling, it's Dick Turpin.
22
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:30,550
Oh! Well, why didn't you say? Marvelous.
23
00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:33,553
Simply everybody wants
to be robbed by Dick Turpin,
24
00:01:33,553 --> 00:01:36,848
the most famous and dashing highwayman
of all time.
25
00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,475
Here, have all my money.
26
00:01:38,475 --> 00:01:40,769
Have my trousers. In fact, have my wife.
27
00:01:40,769 --> 00:01:42,062
I'm off. Bye.
28
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,773
- [screams]
- Strange man.
29
00:01:45,357 --> 00:01:48,526
Madam, it's been an absolute pleasure
robbing you blind.
30
00:01:49,236 --> 00:01:50,320
What about a proper kiss?
31
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,365
I'd love to. It's just that I've realized
there's no one driving the coach.
32
00:01:53,365 --> 00:01:55,200
One small kiss couldn't hurt.
33
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,702
Mmm. [moans, kisses]
34
00:01:58,370 --> 00:01:59,412
[person] Oi, Turpin.
35
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,749
Wake up.
Think you're dreaming again, mate.
36
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:04,084
[wife] It's Dick Turpin.
37
00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:05,710
[Saltley] Everybody wants to be
robbed by Dick Turpin.
38
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,379
[grunts, groans]
39
00:02:07,379 --> 00:02:08,921
You were talking in your sleep again.
40
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,174
At one point, you tried to kiss me,
you weirdo.
41
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,176
[chuckling] Really? How was that for you?
42
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,345
Just grab your stuff. We're going.
43
00:02:15,345 --> 00:02:16,638
Great, is that lunch?
44
00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,473
No, you're about to be hanged.
45
00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:20,267
I see. And then lunch?
46
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,562
[sighs] What an idiot.
47
00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:26,481
[theme music playing]
48
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,721
Professional mourner for your hanging, sir?
49
00:02:57,721 --> 00:02:59,890
- What you got for me?
- Ah, special offer.
50
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:03,101
Two sad hags and a boy in low spirits.
Half a crown?
51
00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:05,604
Mmm, he doesn't look that sad.
52
00:03:05,604 --> 00:03:06,855
Okay.
53
00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:10,233
Well, how about
something from our genuine widow range?
54
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:13,111
- [Dick] Now you're talking.
- Yeah. All recently bereaved.
55
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:14,738
Real tears are standard.
56
00:03:14,738 --> 00:03:17,532
Look at Margaret, sir. Look at Margaret.
57
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,409
Classic resting sad face.
58
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:21,244
- Sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
59
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:24,831
Love Margaret. Yes to Margaret.
Got yourself a deal.
60
00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:26,207
See you up there.
61
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:31,129
[wails] Too soon!
62
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,215
[wailing]
63
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,306
Actually, Margaret,
save it till we get there.
64
00:03:41,306 --> 00:03:43,183
You're bringing the mood down
a little bit.
65
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,392
Oh.
66
00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:52,859
There will now be
a short break for refreshments.
67
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:54,653
What's going on?
68
00:03:54,653 --> 00:03:56,988
We're allowed a drink before they hang us.
69
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:59,157
- Come on. I'm buying.
- [growls]
70
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:05,497
Anyone not back on the coach
in the next half an hour,
71
00:04:05,497 --> 00:04:09,376
I will leave without you. Okay?
72
00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:15,423
Hello. My name's Poorly Martin,
and I shot a chicken.
73
00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:17,675
[all] Hello, Poorly Martin.
74
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,386
Hello. My name's Lizzy Fish,
75
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:21,304
and I threatened to set fire
to a hay bale.
76
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,098
[all] Hello, Lizzy Fish.
77
00:04:23,098 --> 00:04:25,475
Wow, you really can get hanged
for anything these days. [chuckles]
78
00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:27,811
Hello. My name's Bill the Blade,
79
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,106
and I killed 26 members of my own family.
80
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,320
Hello, Bill the Blade.
81
00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,114
What about you?
82
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:41,950
His name is Dick Turpin,
and he's a highwayman.
83
00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:44,661
- Who are you?
- My name is Eliza Bean and I'm a writer.
84
00:04:44,661 --> 00:04:47,747
Move over. I write true-crime stories.
85
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:48,832
- Really?
- Yes.
86
00:04:48,832 --> 00:04:51,751
I mean, I used to write
these beautiful plays, poems,
87
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,128
but no one cared.
88
00:04:53,128 --> 00:04:55,630
You write about the most horrific murder
and people can't get enough of it.
89
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,382
Why do you think that is, Eliza?
90
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,843
I don't know. I think people
are just fascinated by criminals.
91
00:05:00,719 --> 00:05:02,512
I think my readers would like
to hear your story.
92
00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:04,097
[Poorly] Well, there's not much to tell.
93
00:05:04,097 --> 00:05:05,849
I wasn't aiming for the chicken.
94
00:05:05,849 --> 00:05:08,226
No, no, no. Not you, Poorly Martin.
95
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:10,729
You. Dick Turpin.
96
00:05:10,729 --> 00:05:13,398
Dick Turpin. I've heard of you.
97
00:05:13,398 --> 00:05:16,318
You shot Tom King.
Shot his face right off.
98
00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:18,820
Nice work.
99
00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:22,282
Do you really think
people would like to hear my story?
100
00:05:22,282 --> 00:05:24,284
- Not really.
- [Poorly] Yes, please.
101
00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:25,911
My mum used to tell me stories.
102
00:05:25,911 --> 00:05:27,370
Come on, Dick. Spill the beans.
103
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,206
I think people are gonna
find you fascinating.
104
00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:33,001
[chuckles] I don't know.
I feel a bit embarrassed. I...
105
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:36,504
I was born to a butcher
in the village of Hempstead.
106
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,590
Oh, God. I'm going for a piss.
107
00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:44,930
[Dick] I had a happy childhood,
and I loved my dad.
108
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:48,934
But growing up, I realized that
the life of a butcher just wasn't for me.
109
00:05:51,186 --> 00:05:53,021
Have you killed that rabbit yet?
110
00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:56,650
No, but I have made this entire village
out of courgettes. [chuckles]
111
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:58,652
Look at me and you, made out of peppers.
112
00:05:58,652 --> 00:06:01,404
There's you, looking angry.
Not quite as angry as you are now.
113
00:06:02,364 --> 00:06:04,199
How long did that take you?
114
00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:05,283
Nine hours.
115
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:09,704
Well, when you finish that,
can you kill those swans?
116
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,581
Not Carol and Sue, they're in love.
117
00:06:12,165 --> 00:06:14,167
I mean,
I don't even know how you kill a swan.
118
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:17,420
Do you kick it? Do you chop it?
Do you hit it with a shoe?
119
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,299
Sometimes I look at you and think,
"Do you even wanna be a butcher?"
120
00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:23,343
Of course I don't wanna be a butcher.
I'm a vegan.
121
00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:25,720
I've been saying this since I was five.
I love animals.
122
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,848
[sighs] It's not my life, Dad.
It's your life. You know?
123
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:30,767
Yeah, you always were a bit weird.
124
00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:34,145
Drawing, coming up with funny ideas,
wearing strange outfits.
125
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:36,856
You're the weirdest of all my children.
126
00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,275
I'm an only child, Dad.
127
00:06:38,275 --> 00:06:41,111
[sighs] I just feel like
I'm destined to do something, you know?
128
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,904
Something big, something creative.
129
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,031
[clicks tongue] Well.
130
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:49,327
If that's how you feel, I suppose
I could get your cousin Benny in.
131
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:51,204
He loves killing animals.
132
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,456
He's already done a few shifts
when you weren't around.
133
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,000
- He's actually really good.
- I know.
134
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,084
He loves meat.
135
00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:57,794
He loves talking about meat,
touching meat.
136
00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,129
He's got his own knives.
137
00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:01,923
Just get Benny, Dad.
It'll be better for you.
138
00:07:01,923 --> 00:07:04,509
You know, I'll go and follow my dreams.
[sighs]
139
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:06,052
- [father] You're sure?
- Yeah.
140
00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:08,680
Well, I was gonna leave all this to you.
141
00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:13,476
Benny will have it now.
And, uh, your room.
142
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,603
What about my stuff?
143
00:07:14,603 --> 00:07:18,023
Have to probably burn it.
Throw it into the street.
144
00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:20,025
[sighs] All right, Dad.
145
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:23,695
Look, I'll just take these purple shoes
and my sewing machine.
146
00:07:23,695 --> 00:07:28,116
Right. Well, if that's your decision,
I'll let Benny know.
147
00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:29,451
All right.
148
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,746
- All right, Benny?
- All right?
149
00:07:32,746 --> 00:07:34,122
Great, so you already told him?
150
00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:37,083
- Things were coming to a head.
- In what way?
151
00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:39,669
You spent nine hours
making a courgette village.
152
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,005
Look after yourself, Son.
153
00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:44,216
Say goodbye to Carol and Sue for me, Dad.
154
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:45,967
- See ya, Benny.
- [Benny] See ya.
155
00:07:48,762 --> 00:07:52,098
- Do you think he's gonna be all right?
- He'll be dead by the end of the week.
156
00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:55,393
[thunder rumbling]
157
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,316
So, you really made an entire village
out of courgettes?
158
00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:04,152
Yeah. Well, actually,
I used pumpkins for the foundations.
159
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,654
I mean, you need a firm base.
160
00:08:05,654 --> 00:08:07,072
And your dad kicked you out?
161
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:09,950
Yeah, I can't believe it.
I've got no job, I've got nowhere to live.
162
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,118
All I own in the world
is this sewing machine
163
00:08:12,118 --> 00:08:14,913
- and these powerful, purple shoes.
- Cool.
164
00:08:14,913 --> 00:08:16,456
You haven't got anywhere
I could store them?
165
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:18,124
Yeah. Put them in the cupboard.
166
00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,585
Brilliant. Thanks, Little Karen.
You're a diamond.
167
00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,591
[echoing] Whoa, that is a big cupboard.
168
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:29,010
No, not that door. The next one along.
169
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,637
That's a secret passage.
170
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:32,806
[Dick]
I didn't know you had a secret passage.
171
00:08:32,806 --> 00:08:35,392
- Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
172
00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:37,394
If everyone knew about it,
it would just be a passage.
173
00:08:37,394 --> 00:08:39,520
That's not nearly as cool, is it?
174
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,065
Wow, secret passage though. Check you out.
175
00:08:42,065 --> 00:08:43,483
Wish I had a secret passage.
176
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,528
- That sounds weird.
- Yeah, that did sound a bit weird. Sorry.
177
00:08:46,528 --> 00:08:48,196
[door opens]
178
00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,198
[thunder rumbling]
179
00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:07,966
Five glasses of kill grief.
180
00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:11,052
We don't serve people we don't know.
181
00:09:13,805 --> 00:09:16,516
[sighs] Fine.
182
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:18,685
I'm Tom King.
183
00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:20,353
Honesty Barebone.
184
00:09:20,353 --> 00:09:21,688
Nicholas Fraser.
185
00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:25,066
Moose Pleck. And... [grunts]
186
00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:27,861
Steve.
187
00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:29,446
Steve.
188
00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:31,156
Well, actually, I prefer Steven.
189
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:32,908
[sighs]
190
00:09:32,908 --> 00:09:34,367
Not a biggie. Steve's fine.
191
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:38,330
There's an opening coming up in my gang.
192
00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:39,748
Is there?
193
00:09:39,748 --> 00:09:40,999
- [grunts]
- [patron screams]
194
00:09:46,588 --> 00:09:47,923
You.
195
00:09:47,923 --> 00:09:53,845
Tomorrow, Lord Rookwood will be traveling
to his summer retreat in Dagenham.
196
00:09:53,845 --> 00:09:59,142
You're gonna stop his coach and direct him
to Rowney Woods where we will be waiting.
197
00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:01,436
Are you joking? I'm eight.
198
00:10:01,436 --> 00:10:04,856
Exactly. He won't suspect you.
199
00:10:05,774 --> 00:10:08,860
Sorry, just to be clear, does this mean
that I am not in the gang anymore?
200
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,028
- [gunshot]
- [grunts]
201
00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:12,364
What if they don't stop?
202
00:10:12,948 --> 00:10:15,367
Then you pull out your barking iron
and you make them stop.
203
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:16,785
What's a barking iron?
204
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:19,246
[Nicholas] One of these.
205
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:21,998
Oh, yeah. I've seen one of those, yeah.
[chuckles]
206
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:23,625
Got it.
207
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:25,335
Who are you?
208
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:28,004
Just the local butcher.
I was a butcher actually.
209
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:29,839
I've just been replaced
by my cousin Benny.
210
00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,341
[chuckles] He's got his own knives.
211
00:10:31,341 --> 00:10:33,301
To be honest, I wasn't really feeling it.
212
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:35,345
You know, I'm a vegan and, uh...
213
00:10:35,345 --> 00:10:37,973
I mean, I've got skills. I just
don't really know how to channel them.
214
00:10:37,973 --> 00:10:40,976
But I feel like
there's something out there f-for me.
215
00:10:40,976 --> 00:10:44,062
- [Tom groaning]
- You know, something quite creative.
216
00:10:45,438 --> 00:10:47,774
This is your lucky day.
217
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:50,235
- Is it?
- [Tom] Yeah.
218
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:51,903
Got a job for ya.
219
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,822
[chuckles] Cool. What is it?
220
00:10:54,531 --> 00:10:57,284
What I just told her to do!
221
00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:01,121
[Steven] Okay, I guess
I'd just really appreciate some feedback.
222
00:11:01,121 --> 00:11:02,831
- I mean, I thought... [grunts]
- [gunshot]
223
00:11:07,878 --> 00:11:08,879
Here.
224
00:11:10,171 --> 00:11:14,551
Okay. [sighs] So, um, I just push
that button and it comes out that tube.
225
00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,595
Where do I wear that?
Where do you keep yours?
226
00:11:16,595 --> 00:11:19,890
Is it... Is it sort of up here
or is there a holster?
227
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:21,224
Is there a safety catch?
228
00:11:21,224 --> 00:11:24,060
'Cause I feel like this could go off
in my trousers.
229
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:27,314
No. There's no safety catch.
230
00:11:27,939 --> 00:11:31,401
Right. Seems a bit dangerous.
Maybe I'll carry it in a bag.
231
00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:34,654
Yeah. You do that.
232
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,364
Okay.
233
00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:40,911
Tomorrow. Ten o'clock. Don't weasel out.
234
00:11:43,538 --> 00:11:45,165
- Steve.
- [gang] Steve.
235
00:11:48,251 --> 00:11:49,544
[Steven] It's Steven.
236
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:51,129
- [gunshot]
- [Steven grunts]
237
00:11:51,922 --> 00:11:56,343
[Tom] ♪ Oh, my poorest soul
Wherever it may be ♪
238
00:11:56,343 --> 00:11:58,053
- Dick, what are you doing?
- [door closes]
239
00:11:58,053 --> 00:11:59,554
You can't do this.
240
00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:02,641
I couldn't let you go, could I?
You're a child. It's much too dangerous.
241
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,851
- What if we both go?
- That's even worse.
242
00:12:04,851 --> 00:12:06,353
Look, I'll be okay.
243
00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:09,314
Just one question. Did he say
there was or wasn't a safety catch?
244
00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:10,398
Just be careful.
245
00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:13,318
'Cause if you get caught doing this,
you're in real trouble.
246
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:15,320
I'm not gonna get caught.
Don't worry about me.
247
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,405
I'm a master of disguise.
248
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:23,328
Giddyap, boys. Yep. Yep. [exclaims]
249
00:12:23,328 --> 00:12:26,164
So, what you're saying is
you've seen a gang of men
250
00:12:26,164 --> 00:12:28,750
up in my top field stealing my deer.
251
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,585
And the reason you know this is
252
00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:34,422
because you're from
precisely 15 minutes into the future.
253
00:12:35,006 --> 00:12:36,007
Exactly.
254
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,717
What's it like in the future?
255
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:40,053
It's pretty much the same as it is now.
256
00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:42,180
I mean,
the outfits have come on a little bit.
257
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,515
Give me that bag.
258
00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:47,852
- What's this?
- That's a banana.
259
00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:49,604
[item squeaks]
260
00:12:50,105 --> 00:12:51,189
And this?
261
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:53,275
It's one of those waterproof ponchos,
in case it rains.
262
00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:55,443
And what's this?
263
00:12:55,443 --> 00:12:57,612
I believe that's called a barking "ion."
264
00:12:57,612 --> 00:13:00,282
- It's a gun.
- Yeah, that's it. It's a gun.
265
00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:04,327
With the initials TK.
You're in Tom King's gang.
266
00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:05,412
Charlatan!
267
00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:08,623
How dare you enter my carriage
with this cock-and-bull story?
268
00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:10,500
- [grunting]
- [Dick] Oh! Please!
269
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,129
[Rookwood] Don't stop, driver!
270
00:13:14,129 --> 00:13:16,673
- It's a bloody ambush!
- [driver exclaims] Come on.
271
00:13:16,673 --> 00:13:18,383
[screams]
272
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,218
[Dick screams]
273
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:24,556
[Rookwood, Dick scream]
274
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:31,605
[grunting]
275
00:13:31,605 --> 00:13:34,065
Bye-bye, Future Man!
276
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:39,404
Get out!
277
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:43,241
[clicks tongue] Ah, that's a shame.
I love that poncho.
278
00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:44,618
Where is he?
279
00:13:45,368 --> 00:13:47,662
Uh, it didn't quite go according to plan.
280
00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:51,249
Who have you come as?
281
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:53,418
I'm from the future.
282
00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:55,253
Only 15 minutes into the future.
283
00:13:55,253 --> 00:13:56,338
Uh-huh.
284
00:13:56,338 --> 00:14:00,258
If you're from the future,
you should've seen this coming.
285
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:02,761
[groans]
286
00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,433
- [yelps]
- What happened?
287
00:14:09,184 --> 00:14:10,644
Did you just kill Tom King?
288
00:14:11,436 --> 00:14:14,147
Technically, yeah. But, guys,
there's a little bit of context.
289
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,650
Then you are a braver man than me.
290
00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:18,401
He's gone. We're free!
291
00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:19,778
- Yes!
- [sighing]
292
00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:21,529
You mean this is fine?
293
00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:23,949
We hated him.
You've done us a massive favor.
294
00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:25,200
What, a headshot as well, yeah?
295
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,286
- Nice. I can see inside his mind.
- Oh, that's disgusting.
296
00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:31,581
All he wanted to do was rob people for
money, and that's not what this is about.
297
00:14:31,581 --> 00:14:32,666
No. Isn't it?
298
00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:33,959
- No.
- No, of course not.
299
00:14:33,959 --> 00:14:35,627
[Nicholas] I wanna rob people as a protest
300
00:14:35,627 --> 00:14:37,796
about the injustice
of hereditary land ownership.
301
00:14:37,796 --> 00:14:38,880
And to help the poor.
302
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,215
We'll still kill people though?
303
00:14:40,215 --> 00:14:41,883
Yeah, of course we'll still kill people.
304
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:42,968
Sweet.
305
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,346
I can't believe you guys
didn't like Tom King.
306
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:50,850
Well, he actually said
some really horrible things to me.
307
00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:53,853
[sniffles] Really horrible.
308
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:56,481
Hey, do you wanna talk about it?
309
00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:59,526
[inhales sharply, snorts]
310
00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:02,320
{\an8}And he said I had cankles,
which is not okay.
311
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,238
{\an8}No.
312
00:15:03,238 --> 00:15:05,198
{\an8}'Cause I'm actually quite sensitive
about my legs.
313
00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:08,910
I can never find breeches that fit,
which is why I always ride sidesaddle.
314
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:12,205
But Tom said I looked like
a big girl's blouse when I did that.
315
00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:15,834
Nothing wrong with looking like
a big girl's blouse, my large friend.
316
00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:17,586
They're practical, they're elegant.
317
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,754
I mean,
I wore a dress for nearly a year once.
318
00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:22,173
No underwear, the breeze blowing up me.
319
00:15:22,173 --> 00:15:23,592
It felt great. You should try it.
320
00:15:23,592 --> 00:15:25,677
- [chuckles] Yes, please.
- We're meant to be scary.
321
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:26,970
All I'm saying is,
322
00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:30,432
if Moose rocked up
in a stunning loose-cut smock frock,
323
00:15:30,432 --> 00:15:31,892
he'd get my vote.
324
00:15:31,892 --> 00:15:34,477
- It would be more comfortable.
- And your confidence would soar.
325
00:15:34,477 --> 00:15:35,896
Clothes maketh the man.
326
00:15:35,896 --> 00:15:37,731
- Clearly.
- Or the woman.
327
00:15:37,731 --> 00:15:40,442
I mean, check out this guy. [chuckles]
Rocking those breeches, yeah?
328
00:15:40,442 --> 00:15:42,235
- Clearly a lady.
- Wait, what?
329
00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:43,987
- [groans]
- Well, that's a game changer.
330
00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:45,071
What, you didn't know?
331
00:15:45,071 --> 00:15:46,698
But you're... you're called Nicholas.
332
00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:50,827
- Okay, um, my real name is Nell.
- What?
333
00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:53,538
Opportunities for women
in highway robbery aren't exactly great.
334
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:57,417
So I called myself Nicholas
and dressed as a man.
335
00:15:57,417 --> 00:15:59,669
I mean,
it's pretty obvious to most people.
336
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:02,464
- No way.
- You know, I can see a time
337
00:16:02,464 --> 00:16:05,759
when women and men do the same job
for the same money.
338
00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:09,429
[laughs] I like it. He's doing a funny.
339
00:16:09,429 --> 00:16:11,681
- That's good.
- I was actually being serious.
340
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:16,019
- [laughing] It's a double bluff. Two.
- [Honesty chuckles]
341
00:16:18,605 --> 00:16:19,773
- Hmm.
- What?
342
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:23,318
Just thought I saw a loose cartwheel
by that hillock.
343
00:16:24,694 --> 00:16:25,695
Rolling.
344
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,989
He made me look! Three! Hat trick.
345
00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:29,908
[chuckling] Oh. Insane.
346
00:16:29,908 --> 00:16:31,326
He's great, isn't he?
347
00:16:32,535 --> 00:16:33,745
I like him.
348
00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:36,206
All right, guys. It's been real.
349
00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:38,291
I'm gonna skedaddle.
Got a few little bits to do.
350
00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:42,420
Wait, aren't you gonna be our new leader
and, like, spiritual guru and life coach?
351
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,755
[scoffs] I-I-I'm sorry, what?
352
00:16:43,755 --> 00:16:45,590
[stammers] Yeah.
He's in charge now, right?
353
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:46,883
Me, leader?
354
00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:49,761
Maybe this is what I was destined to do.
355
00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:53,348
Lead a gang of dashing outlaws,
riding across the heath.
356
00:16:53,348 --> 00:16:56,017
- [Honesty] Whoa. Yeah.
- The wind blowing through my hair.
357
00:16:56,017 --> 00:16:57,644
[imitating gunshots]
358
00:16:57,644 --> 00:17:00,105
- [all imitating gunshots]
- Sorry.
359
00:17:01,439 --> 00:17:02,440
"Who are you?"
360
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,942
"I'm Dick Turpin."
361
00:17:03,942 --> 00:17:06,151
"Aren't you a butcher?"
[chuckles] "No, that was ages ago."
362
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:08,196
- Yes.
-"Can I still buy chops off you?"
363
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:10,364
"Not really. You'd have to speak
to my dad about that."
364
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,574
Who's he talking to?
365
00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:14,035
- [whispering] His imaginary self.
- He's so cool.
366
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:15,536
"What about pork medallions?"
367
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:18,081
"We've been through this, all right?
I'm a highwayman now."
368
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:19,873
I am a highwayman.
369
00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:23,169
- Yes. I'll do it.
- Yeah!
370
00:17:23,169 --> 00:17:25,005
This is so exciting.
We can have a special handshake.
371
00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:27,507
- Yes!
- A little shake, a-a slide.
372
00:17:27,507 --> 00:17:29,009
Fist bump. Booty bounce.
373
00:17:29,009 --> 00:17:30,510
- [grunting]
- No booty bounce.
374
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:32,512
Right.
You don't get to decide who's leader.
375
00:17:32,512 --> 00:17:35,181
We decide who's leader,
and you're not gonna be leader.
376
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:36,308
Okay.
377
00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:37,684
I think Dick should be leader.
378
00:17:37,684 --> 00:17:40,437
I-I'm not totally sure, but I think
he's the best man in the world.
379
00:17:40,437 --> 00:17:43,106
Me too. He's gonna make me a dress.
Do you think he has a best friend?
380
00:17:43,106 --> 00:17:45,817
Hang on. What about me? All right?
381
00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,903
I'm the best highwayman.
I should be in charge.
382
00:17:47,903 --> 00:17:49,529
[sighs] Nell, we love you.
383
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:51,197
- Mm-hmm. Mmm.
- You're great with a gun,
384
00:17:51,197 --> 00:17:52,866
- and you ride a mean horse.
- Mmm.
385
00:17:52,866 --> 00:17:54,910
But you do tend to buckle under pressure.
386
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:56,953
I don't buckle. I never buckle.
387
00:17:56,953 --> 00:17:58,204
I'm unbuckle-able.
388
00:17:58,204 --> 00:18:00,040
Okay then. You can be leader.
389
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,459
- Yeah. Where we going now?
- Head back or get lunch?
390
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:05,879
Okay. Um, lunch or head back?
391
00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:07,881
Um, both fantastic options.
392
00:18:07,881 --> 00:18:11,635
[clicks tongue] Oh, God. Uh... [sighs]
393
00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:14,346
God, I can't take this stress!
394
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:15,805
Fine. Whatever. I don't care.
395
00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:18,558
- That settles it. Dick's our new leader!
- Yes!
396
00:18:18,558 --> 00:18:21,478
[Dick] And it was in that glorious moment
that my fate was sealed
397
00:18:21,478 --> 00:18:23,146
- and a legend was born.
- [groans]
398
00:18:23,146 --> 00:18:24,773
This is a beautiful moment, guys.
399
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:26,441
This is where we could do
our special handshake.
400
00:18:26,441 --> 00:18:27,943
- Yes.
- I'm not doing a handshake.
401
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:29,986
- She'll come around.
- I know.
402
00:18:29,986 --> 00:18:34,115
[Dick] I was now the rightful leader
of my very own gang of outlaws.
403
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,201
- [Bill] Sounds made-up.
- No, it doesn't.
404
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:37,619
- What bit?
- [Bill] All of it.
405
00:18:37,619 --> 00:18:41,331
One minute you're a butcher
prancing around with your funny ideas.
406
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:44,084
The next minute
you're dressed as some kind of future man.
407
00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:45,293
Yeah, that was a bit weird.
408
00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:48,463
And then suddenly, you're in charge
of an old gang of criminals.
409
00:18:48,463 --> 00:18:51,967
All right. It does sound a bit made-up.
But I can assure you it did happen.
410
00:18:51,967 --> 00:18:54,135
- I believe you, Dick.
- Thanks, Poorly Martin.
411
00:18:54,135 --> 00:18:57,097
Okay, so let's just do a recap
of what I've written so far.
412
00:18:57,097 --> 00:19:01,268
[clears throat] Turpin,
with his magnificent head of raven hair,
413
00:19:01,268 --> 00:19:03,061
emerges from the upended carriage,
414
00:19:03,061 --> 00:19:05,897
coming face-to-face
with the incandescent Tom King.
415
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:08,233
Then,
without one thought for his own self,
416
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:11,820
Dick Turpin bravely and heroically
shoots Tom King in the face.
417
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:14,614
Dick beguiles the gang to take his place
as the new rightful leader.
418
00:19:14,614 --> 00:19:17,158
Bewitching Honesty,
wrestling Moose to the ground
419
00:19:17,158 --> 00:19:20,120
and seducing Nell, who was clearly
in love with him from the beginning.
420
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,871
- Right?
- I mean, yeah, loosely.
421
00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:23,415
Wow. You're incredible.
422
00:19:23,415 --> 00:19:25,625
Okay. Brilliant. Well, I've got all that.
423
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,919
Now, so you're in charge of the gang.
What happens next?
424
00:19:27,919 --> 00:19:32,007
Well, next, I made myself and the gang
some incredible outfits.
425
00:19:32,007 --> 00:19:34,384
- Outfits?
- Yeah, you know. I wanted us to look good.
426
00:19:35,051 --> 00:19:36,970
I can't listen to this shit anymore.
427
00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:39,472
I love it.
428
00:19:39,472 --> 00:19:40,765
What about the cape? Too long?
429
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,184
- [Little Karen] Can a cape be too long?
- Correct answer.
430
00:19:43,184 --> 00:19:44,561
How do you guys feel?
431
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:46,813
- Bit weird.
- I like it.
432
00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:48,773
I just feel right.
433
00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:49,858
Sorry, is this leather?
434
00:19:49,858 --> 00:19:53,320
No. Surprisingly, it's pleather.
Parsnip leather.
435
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,031
Catches the light, it's durable,
wipes clean.
436
00:19:56,031 --> 00:19:57,782
- Good for blood, yeah?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
437
00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,075
We look incredible.
438
00:19:59,075 --> 00:20:01,077
In fact, somebody draw us.
439
00:20:01,077 --> 00:20:02,162
Alf.
440
00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:16,635
[gang groaning, sighing]
441
00:20:16,635 --> 00:20:17,802
Somebody else draw us.
442
00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:21,598
Look out, Dick. Jonathan Wilde's here.
443
00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:24,559
- Who's he?
- The thieftaker general.
444
00:20:24,559 --> 00:20:27,771
I'm not gonna lie, he sounds exactly like
the sort of person we should be avoiding.
445
00:20:27,771 --> 00:20:29,231
No, Dick. He's a crook.
446
00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:30,774
He had a deal with Tom King.
447
00:20:30,774 --> 00:20:32,984
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's dangerous.
- Yeah.
448
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:36,196
Listen, if you want to walk away
from all this, I wouldn't blame you.
449
00:20:36,196 --> 00:20:38,240
- I'm fine.
- We'll be right here, Dick.
450
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:41,076
I'll die for you, Dick.
451
00:20:41,076 --> 00:20:42,160
That's good to know.
452
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,914
All right, guys, stand behind me.
Try and look menacing.
453
00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:47,666
Nell, let me do the talking.
454
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,000
- [scoffs]
- [exhales sharply]
455
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,047
Ah, Mr. Wilde.
456
00:20:54,047 --> 00:20:56,758
I have to say,
you're slightly smaller than I'd imagined.
457
00:20:57,842 --> 00:20:59,386
I am Jonathan Wilde.
458
00:20:59,386 --> 00:21:00,845
Yep. That makes more sense.
459
00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:02,847
- This is my son, Christopher.
- Hello, Christopher.
460
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,559
Currently,
my wife and I don't have any childcare.
461
00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:07,102
Absolute ball-ache.
462
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,145
Christopher, go and sit over there.
463
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,274
So, to business.
464
00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:14,734
To business.
465
00:21:18,113 --> 00:21:21,116
Mr. Turpin...
[sighs] ...your reputation precedes you.
466
00:21:21,116 --> 00:21:22,117
Does it?
467
00:21:22,117 --> 00:21:25,870
Well, not many people would have
the nerve to stand up to Tom King.
468
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:28,373
[chuckles] King was a bully.
I don't like bullies.
469
00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:30,792
Then it's a good thing I come as a friend.
470
00:21:31,585 --> 00:21:34,296
King and I had a certain arrangement.
471
00:21:34,296 --> 00:21:37,090
And now that he's gone
and you seem to be the new leader,
472
00:21:37,090 --> 00:21:41,386
I was wondering if you might be open
to a similar degree of cooperation.
473
00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:43,179
- It's really very simple.
- [Christopher] Dad.
474
00:21:43,179 --> 00:21:44,681
You keep doing what you're doing,
475
00:21:44,681 --> 00:21:46,933
- with no risk of going to the gallows.
- [Christopher] Dad.
476
00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:49,561
We take a look at what you've stolen.
I keep most of it,
477
00:21:49,561 --> 00:21:52,314
maybe even sell one or two items
back to the original owners.
478
00:21:52,314 --> 00:21:53,481
- Dad.
- What?
479
00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:54,608
I found a dead moth.
480
00:21:54,608 --> 00:21:57,360
Christopher,
what did I say to you before we came here?
481
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:58,778
Keep quiet when you're working.
482
00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,739
So why are you telling me
about a dead moth?
483
00:22:00,739 --> 00:22:02,032
It's really big.
484
00:22:02,032 --> 00:22:03,033
Put it down.
485
00:22:03,033 --> 00:22:04,284
It's already dead.
486
00:22:04,284 --> 00:22:07,245
Christopher, you put that moth down now
or you can go and wait in the cart.
487
00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:11,041
Sorry. I mean, adorable, but sometimes...
488
00:22:11,041 --> 00:22:13,627
Okay, so what exactly would be your cut?
489
00:22:13,627 --> 00:22:15,086
Ninety-five percent.
490
00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:17,964
Ninety-five perc...
That's daylight robbery.
491
00:22:17,964 --> 00:22:19,966
I have a lot of overheads, Turpin.
492
00:22:19,966 --> 00:22:23,887
Bribing informants, network of spies,
Christopher's swimming lessons.
493
00:22:23,887 --> 00:22:25,889
- Swimming is important.
- It is.
494
00:22:26,848 --> 00:22:29,267
[sighs] Do you think
you could come down just a little bit?
495
00:22:30,185 --> 00:22:33,230
Listen,
I send a lot of people to the gallows.
496
00:22:34,856 --> 00:22:37,943
Careful, Dick.
I think he might be threatening us.
497
00:22:39,194 --> 00:22:40,195
Not a threat.
498
00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:43,281
We can make an excellent team.
499
00:22:43,281 --> 00:22:45,325
I've already got an excellent team.
500
00:22:45,325 --> 00:22:48,954
We're called the Essex Gang,
and we don't work for anybody.
501
00:22:54,251 --> 00:22:55,961
[sighs] That's a shame.
502
00:22:55,961 --> 00:22:57,128
[slurping]
503
00:22:57,128 --> 00:23:00,507
You, sir,
have just signed your own death warr...
504
00:23:00,507 --> 00:23:03,635
For crying out loud, Christopher,
can you please pack it in?
505
00:23:05,804 --> 00:23:08,682
I'm afraid you and your gang
will be taken in
506
00:23:08,682 --> 00:23:11,101
and hanged for the murder of Tom King.
507
00:23:11,101 --> 00:23:13,603
Oh, really? And who's gonna take us in?
508
00:23:13,603 --> 00:23:15,855
- Me.
- [scoffs] You and whose army?
509
00:23:16,982 --> 00:23:18,149
Me and my army.
510
00:23:18,149 --> 00:23:20,110
And who exactly is your army?
511
00:23:20,110 --> 00:23:22,487
Christopher and that singed moth?
512
00:23:22,487 --> 00:23:25,532
No, me and my actual army.
513
00:23:33,832 --> 00:23:35,667
Yeah, that's quite impressive. [sighs]
514
00:23:36,543 --> 00:23:38,962
No one escapes the thieftaker general.
515
00:23:42,382 --> 00:23:44,551
- Guys, secret passage.
- [Honesty] What?
516
00:23:44,551 --> 00:23:47,178
- Go! Go. Go, go!
- [Nell] Come on! Moose!
517
00:23:47,178 --> 00:23:48,722
- [Moose] Honesty!
- [Honesty] Listen to Dick!
518
00:23:48,722 --> 00:23:50,557
I didn't know
this place had a secret passage.
519
00:23:50,557 --> 00:23:51,933
Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
520
00:23:51,933 --> 00:23:53,727
Well, no, I-I take your point.
521
00:23:53,727 --> 00:23:56,938
I suppose if everyone knew about it,
then it would just... just be a passage.
522
00:23:56,938 --> 00:23:58,273
[chuckles] That's what I said.
523
00:23:58,273 --> 00:24:00,817
You see, we're not so different,
you and I.
524
00:24:01,902 --> 00:24:03,278
Why not come and work for me?
525
00:24:07,324 --> 00:24:08,700
I don't think so.
526
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:11,328
You see,
Tom King was an old-school highwayman.
527
00:24:11,328 --> 00:24:12,913
I'm new-school.
528
00:24:12,913 --> 00:24:14,873
There's gonna be less violence
on my watch,
529
00:24:14,873 --> 00:24:17,083
more charm, maybe even some panache.
530
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:20,295
We're not gonna be giving money
to fat cats like you.
531
00:24:20,295 --> 00:24:22,505
We're gonna give it to real people,
poor people.
532
00:24:22,505 --> 00:24:24,424
Like Little Karen and Alf who can't draw.
533
00:24:24,424 --> 00:24:25,508
Yes.
534
00:24:26,176 --> 00:24:27,969
Catch you on the flip side, big chin.
535
00:24:30,639 --> 00:24:32,265
[items clattering]
536
00:24:33,683 --> 00:24:34,684
Hmm.
537
00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:41,858
Hi. Can I help you?
538
00:24:42,901 --> 00:24:45,445
I mean, who puts a cupboard
next to a secret passage?
539
00:24:45,445 --> 00:24:48,865
- At least make the doors different colors.
- Exactly. Color-code them.
540
00:24:48,865 --> 00:24:51,910
You know, cupboard, it's practical.
It's green or brown, isn't it?
541
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,371
Secret passage is mysterious, so, purple.
542
00:24:54,371 --> 00:24:56,373
- Or turquoise.
- Exactly.
543
00:24:56,373 --> 00:24:59,167
Just put signs on the doors
like with toilets and be done with it.
544
00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:01,586
Can't put signs on a secret door,
Lizzy the Fish.
545
00:25:01,586 --> 00:25:03,129
Wouldn't be secret anymore, would it?
546
00:25:03,129 --> 00:25:05,590
What about a braille sign
that you have to feel?
547
00:25:05,590 --> 00:25:07,342
Can you read braille?
548
00:25:07,342 --> 00:25:10,178
No, but I wouldn't go in a secret passage.
They freak me out.
549
00:25:10,178 --> 00:25:12,931
[groans] As fascinating
as all this cupboard chat is,
550
00:25:12,931 --> 00:25:15,016
I just don't think
it's gonna make the article.
551
00:25:15,016 --> 00:25:16,601
But we've still got
a thrilling ending though.
552
00:25:16,601 --> 00:25:18,770
- Have we? What ending?
- You. You're gonna get hanged.
553
00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:20,397
I'm not gonna get hanged.
Don't you understand?
554
00:25:20,397 --> 00:25:22,607
I got caught,
but not before I rescued my gang.
555
00:25:22,607 --> 00:25:25,068
Leaving them free to rescue me.
It's perfect.
556
00:25:25,569 --> 00:25:27,696
Yeah. No, it is perfect.
Of course they'll come.
557
00:25:28,363 --> 00:25:31,783
They will come.
I heroically and bravely killed Tom King.
558
00:25:31,783 --> 00:25:34,369
And then saved them from Jonathan Wilde.
They love me.
559
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,622
Yeah, no. Of course they do.
And when they rescue you,
560
00:25:37,622 --> 00:25:40,250
I will tag along and write a book
about all your adventures.
561
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,877
The Adventures of Dick Turpin.
562
00:25:41,877 --> 00:25:44,546
And what about if they don't rescue you
and you get hanged?
563
00:25:44,546 --> 00:25:47,090
[Eliza] Well, you know,
then it'll be more of a pamphlet.
564
00:25:47,090 --> 00:25:48,216
A pamphlet?
565
00:25:48,216 --> 00:25:50,510
- A punchy pamphlet.
- A punchy pam...
566
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:53,430
I don't want to be a punchy...
Nobody wants to be a punchy pamphlet.
567
00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:55,599
I wanna be a punchy pamphlet.
568
00:25:56,391 --> 00:25:57,726
All right then. [sighs]
569
00:25:57,726 --> 00:26:00,103
Everyone back on the wagon.
570
00:26:00,604 --> 00:26:04,065
This is your last chance
to use the toilet.
571
00:26:04,983 --> 00:26:06,109
Ever.
572
00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:28,924
Please take a moment to check
you've got all your personal belongings.
573
00:26:28,924 --> 00:26:30,008
Thank you.
574
00:26:34,679 --> 00:26:37,098
Margaret, you're up.
Think about your husband.
575
00:26:37,933 --> 00:26:39,809
[wailing]
576
00:26:40,393 --> 00:26:41,394
Perfect.
577
00:26:45,232 --> 00:26:48,276
That's dangerous, that is.
Those things can really gather momentum.
578
00:26:48,276 --> 00:26:50,654
- What things?
- Those round things.
579
00:26:50,654 --> 00:26:52,739
- You mean wheels?
- Yeah.
580
00:26:52,739 --> 00:26:54,574
- That's what they're designed to do.
- I know.
581
00:26:54,574 --> 00:26:56,952
I'm just flagging it up.
I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
582
00:26:56,952 --> 00:26:59,871
Well, that's very noble of you, coming
from someone who's about to be hanged.
583
00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:01,998
Geoffrey,
I know we haven't always seen eye to eye,
584
00:27:01,998 --> 00:27:04,751
but I just want to say
I've really enjoyed our time together.
585
00:27:04,751 --> 00:27:06,628
Righto. Mind how you go, Dirk.
586
00:27:06,628 --> 00:27:08,338
- It's Dick actually.
- Whatever.
587
00:27:08,338 --> 00:27:09,965
- Stay in touch, yeah?
- [Geoffrey] Uh-huh.
588
00:27:18,223 --> 00:27:19,683
[executioner] Any last words?
589
00:27:19,683 --> 00:27:21,017
Yeah. Give me a minute.
590
00:27:22,978 --> 00:27:24,062
I know what you're thinking.
591
00:27:24,062 --> 00:27:26,523
"Who is this guy
with the incredible cheekbones?
592
00:27:26,523 --> 00:27:29,609
Where does he get his hair done?
His jacket's supreme."
593
00:27:29,609 --> 00:27:31,945
Those things aren't important.
Well, they are a little bit.
594
00:27:31,945 --> 00:27:35,824
What is important is
that my name is Dick Turpin,
595
00:27:35,824 --> 00:27:40,287
and one day I'll be the most famous
highwayman in all of England.
596
00:27:41,162 --> 00:27:45,083
You are literally about to be hanged,
you idiot!
597
00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:46,126
[crowd laughing]
598
00:27:46,126 --> 00:27:49,546
I'm not an idiot actually, because
my gang are gonna come and rescue me.
599
00:27:49,546 --> 00:27:52,716
- [crowd jeering]
- In fact, they're already here.
600
00:27:52,716 --> 00:27:55,594
Let me introduce you
to a good friend of mine.
601
00:27:56,177 --> 00:27:57,178
Moose.
602
00:27:57,178 --> 00:27:58,763
[crowd laughing]
603
00:27:59,347 --> 00:28:01,057
[groans] That would have been so good.
604
00:28:01,057 --> 00:28:02,934
This guy is priceless.
605
00:28:04,936 --> 00:28:06,563
- [villager] Hang him!
- I'm sorry.
606
00:28:07,856 --> 00:28:09,107
Let me just get that.
607
00:28:09,107 --> 00:28:10,901
Oh, God, let me get the eyeholes level.
608
00:28:13,111 --> 00:28:15,363
There you go. Can you see?
Yeah, you're good to go.
609
00:28:15,363 --> 00:28:16,573
[executioner] That's enough.
610
00:28:17,157 --> 00:28:19,618
[groans, sighs]
611
00:28:21,536 --> 00:28:22,913
[crowd cheers]
612
00:28:25,248 --> 00:28:26,833
Quick note to my gang:
613
00:28:26,833 --> 00:28:28,293
If you were planning a rescue,
614
00:28:28,293 --> 00:28:30,754
probably before the rope goes
around my neck would be a good time.
615
00:28:34,466 --> 00:28:35,800
Guys?
616
00:28:37,135 --> 00:28:41,097
Brilliant. Best hanging I've ever been to.
617
00:28:41,097 --> 00:28:43,850
- [crowd jeering]
- Guys? Guys.
618
00:28:44,434 --> 00:28:46,686
[chuckling]
Come on, guys. Stop messing around.
619
00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:49,773
- Gu...
- [crowd cheers]
620
00:28:49,773 --> 00:28:51,316
[wails]
621
00:28:51,316 --> 00:28:53,235
[Dick choking]
622
00:28:54,653 --> 00:28:56,238
What are you waiting for? Shoot the rope.
623
00:28:56,238 --> 00:28:57,948
- Quickly!
- Stop pressuring me.
624
00:29:00,283 --> 00:29:01,660
[crowd gasps]
625
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:03,078
[executioner] Huh?
626
00:29:05,372 --> 00:29:07,958
[sighs] These things
can be a little bit inaccurate.
627
00:29:07,958 --> 00:29:10,377
You did that on purpose.
You don't even want to save him.
628
00:29:10,377 --> 00:29:12,379
Oh, God. Now he's dying.
629
00:29:12,379 --> 00:29:14,005
Look, his body's gone all jerky.
630
00:29:14,005 --> 00:29:16,591
Calm down. He's not dead.
I'll just reload.
631
00:29:16,591 --> 00:29:18,134
Forget this. I'm doing it my way.
632
00:29:21,221 --> 00:29:23,515
[shouting]
633
00:29:23,515 --> 00:29:25,183
[Moose] We're coming, Dick!
634
00:29:25,850 --> 00:29:27,394
[crowd gasping]
635
00:29:28,144 --> 00:29:29,145
[whistles]
636
00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:31,940
- [crowd screaming]
- [grunts]
637
00:29:31,940 --> 00:29:34,234
[Rookwood] Guards! Get him!
638
00:29:34,234 --> 00:29:35,402
I can't believe you came.
639
00:29:35,402 --> 00:29:37,612
Of course.
You're the best man in the world.
640
00:29:37,612 --> 00:29:38,697
I know.
641
00:29:39,364 --> 00:29:41,866
It's so, so comfortable.
642
00:29:41,866 --> 00:29:43,451
- Moose!
- Sorry, mate.
643
00:29:47,414 --> 00:29:48,415
[Bill] Leg it.
644
00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:53,420
[groans] Not again. [sniffs]
645
00:29:53,420 --> 00:29:55,380
[Honesty grunts, pants]
646
00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:57,299
[banging]
647
00:29:58,341 --> 00:30:00,135
Been in any good cupboards lately?
648
00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:01,887
All right, big chin?
649
00:30:03,096 --> 00:30:07,058
You must have realized by now that
you can never outrun Jonathan Wilde.
650
00:30:08,101 --> 00:30:09,311
- Time to...
- [Christopher] Dad.
651
00:30:09,311 --> 00:30:10,604
- Time to make...
- Dad.
652
00:30:10,604 --> 00:30:12,272
- Time to make...
- Dad!
653
00:30:12,272 --> 00:30:13,940
- For crying out loud, what?
- Cartwheel!
654
00:30:13,940 --> 00:30:15,483
Hmm? [groans]
655
00:30:15,483 --> 00:30:16,651
[glass shattering]
656
00:30:16,651 --> 00:30:18,236
I did flag that up actually.
657
00:30:35,545 --> 00:30:38,465
[Dick] Am I gonna have to ride
this small horse all the time?
658
00:30:38,465 --> 00:30:41,009
[Nell] Oh, stop moaning.
It's all I could get at short notice.
659
00:30:41,009 --> 00:30:43,678
[Dick] I mean, I'm the leader.
I should be on a big horse.
660
00:30:43,678 --> 00:30:45,138
I've been on bigger dogs.
661
00:30:45,138 --> 00:30:47,724
[gang laughing]
662
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,445
Right. Let's get on with it.
663
00:31:00,445 --> 00:31:01,571
[grunting]
664
00:31:04,199 --> 00:31:06,493
Christopher,
the whole point of a wanted poster
665
00:31:06,493 --> 00:31:08,828
is people see it and recognize who it is.
666
00:31:08,828 --> 00:31:11,623
This looks like a turtle wearing a dress.
667
00:31:11,623 --> 00:31:12,874
- Who did this?
- Alf.
668
00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,710
Alf? Alf from the pub?
669
00:31:15,710 --> 00:31:18,505
Everyone knows he can't draw for toffee.
670
00:31:18,505 --> 00:31:20,882
- How many of these have you had made?
- 3000.
671
00:31:21,466 --> 00:31:24,636
Blood and sand, Christopher.
[sighs] When do schools go back?51974
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