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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:50,952 --> 00:03:53,386 $17.52. 2 00:03:53,455 --> 00:03:55,719 That settles my back taxes for '59 and '60. 3 00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:58,385 - That does it. - Gougers, all of you. 4 00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:02,055 - Gougers! - Don't tell it to me. I make 60 bucks a week here. 5 00:04:04,132 --> 00:04:06,293 - Go ahead, lady. I can wait. - Oh, thank you. 6 00:04:07,336 --> 00:04:09,600 Is this where you give the money in? 7 00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,907 Excuse me. Is this where you give the money in? 8 00:04:17,713 --> 00:04:20,841 Let me see your form, miss. 9 00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:24,977 I mean, did you make out a form? I mean, where are your papers? 10 00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:29,183 Oh. This is the only paper that I thought was necessary. 11 00:04:29,257 --> 00:04:33,853 Oh, I can't take your check without the regular 1040 form. 12 00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:37,695 It's to be sure it's the correct amount according to your return. 13 00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:40,394 Well, this isn't according to any return. It's just money. 14 00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:42,403 I wanna give it to the government. 15 00:04:42,471 --> 00:04:44,405 Well, this is very irregular. 16 00:04:44,473 --> 00:04:48,170 First of all, this is the Department of Internal Revenue and... 17 00:05:00,789 --> 00:05:02,723 Oh, I get it. 18 00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:04,952 April fool. Next! 19 00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:07,051 - No, please. - Next! 20 00:05:13,568 --> 00:05:15,729 And... And I went to see the head clerk... 21 00:05:15,804 --> 00:05:19,501 and then the assistant to the Secretary of Treasury... 22 00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:22,168 and then the Secretary of Treasury... 23 00:05:22,244 --> 00:05:24,178 but... 24 00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:27,511 but when I insisted on seeing the president... 25 00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:30,813 they insisted I come to see you! 26 00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,820 Dr. Svenson... 27 00:05:32,888 --> 00:05:35,015 do you think I'm crazy too? 28 00:05:37,592 --> 00:05:40,060 The... The name is "Steffanson"... 29 00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:42,187 Victor Steffanson... 30 00:05:42,264 --> 00:05:45,233 and, um... and we never use that word around here. 31 00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:50,033 Now, Mrs. Benson, you just take one of these and try to relax. Here. 32 00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:52,039 You know, Mrs... 33 00:05:52,107 --> 00:05:54,871 Aaah! Pink! 34 00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:56,672 Pink. They're pink pills! 35 00:05:56,745 --> 00:06:00,442 - My husband was pink! I can't take a pink pill! - Ju-Just crunch it. 36 00:06:00,515 --> 00:06:04,781 Crunch it right down. Th-That's right. That's right. 37 00:06:10,592 --> 00:06:13,993 Uh, Mrs. Benson... 38 00:06:14,062 --> 00:06:17,896 you are obviously the victim of some inner disturbance... 39 00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:20,332 in which, well, for the want of a better word... 40 00:06:20,402 --> 00:06:23,838 your guilts have led you to a state of fantasy... 41 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,998 in which, um, "A," 42 00:06:26,074 --> 00:06:29,339 you are burdened with some fantastic wealth... 43 00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:32,505 and... and "B," you are eager to rid yourself of it... 44 00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:37,348 as in the ancient ritual of exorcising some dybbuk or, uh, evil spirit. 45 00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:40,513 - Now, now, now, now. Now, this is normal. 46 00:06:40,589 --> 00:06:43,023 Excuse me. 47 00:06:46,428 --> 00:06:48,362 Yes. Please don't... What? 48 00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:50,364 Oh, yes. Put him on, please. 49 00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:53,128 Oh, hello, Fred. Uh-huh. You investigated. And? 50 00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:58,639 F-Fred. Th-The check is good? 51 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:04,468 Uh-huh. Yes. 52 00:07:04,546 --> 00:07:06,480 Uh-huh. Thank you, Fred. 53 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:12,714 I have the strangest tingling sensation in my... 54 00:07:12,787 --> 00:07:14,778 my toes. 55 00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:18,920 Are you all right? 56 00:07:18,994 --> 00:07:21,428 What? 57 00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:25,432 - Uh, w-what happened? - Well, "A," you fainted and "B," I poured water on you. 58 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,196 I'm terribly sorry, but I didn't know what else to do. 59 00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:32,331 No, it-it's all right. You did the right thing. 60 00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,500 Um, do you faint often? 61 00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,669 Oh, just once in a while. 62 00:07:36,745 --> 00:07:40,806 It's the shock of realization whenever I've been dead wrong about something. 63 00:07:40,882 --> 00:07:43,544 The fainting is, um, running away, as it were... 64 00:07:43,618 --> 00:07:45,848 from the reality that I'm not... 65 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,685 I'm not infallible. 66 00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:52,193 Y-You see, it's been the pattern of my life... 67 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,751 from the time I was a... 68 00:07:54,829 --> 00:07:57,229 Wait a minute. What is this? 69 00:07:57,299 --> 00:08:00,632 Who's doing what to who... or whom? 70 00:08:00,702 --> 00:08:03,762 Mrs. Benson, you are a young woman... 71 00:08:03,838 --> 00:08:08,537 who is apparently worth in the neighborhood of... $200 million! 72 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,477 And for some incredible reason, you wanna give it to the government! 73 00:08:11,546 --> 00:08:15,004 Y-You don't need a psychiatrist. You need your head examined. 74 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:17,313 - Now, out of my office! Out! - No, Dr. Steffanson. 75 00:08:17,385 --> 00:08:19,530 - Out of my office! - You said something a minute ago... 76 00:08:19,554 --> 00:08:21,818 that was very understanding and true. 77 00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:25,826 I never heard it expressed before. But I want your help. 78 00:08:25,894 --> 00:08:28,055 - Mrs... - Oh, please! 79 00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:30,097 Ah, yes. 80 00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:34,329 Yes, the oath I took forbids me to turn away from a cry for help. 81 00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:36,336 S-Sit down, Mrs. Benson. 82 00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:42,499 Oh! It was what you said about my wanting to get rid of my money... 83 00:08:42,577 --> 00:08:44,841 like exorcising some evil spirit. 84 00:08:44,913 --> 00:08:47,006 - Ah, yes. - Dr. Steffanson. 85 00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:50,017 - Mm-hmm? - I think I may be some kind of a witch. 86 00:08:50,085 --> 00:08:52,019 Oh-ho-ho. Come, come now, Mrs. Benson. 87 00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:54,180 This is the 19th centur... er, uh, 20th century. 88 00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:58,749 No! Really! Every man whose life I touch withers. 89 00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:02,686 Really? Uh, Mrs... 90 00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:08,067 Mrs. Benson, please, just turn over and... and try to relax. 91 00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:14,466 Go right ahead. 92 00:09:15,543 --> 00:09:20,139 Well, I was born Louisa May Foster... 93 00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:23,810 in the small town of Crawleyville, Ohio. 94 00:09:23,885 --> 00:09:27,321 Oh, I can't understand it. I never wanted money. 95 00:09:27,389 --> 00:09:30,654 All I ever wanted was to lead a simple life... 96 00:09:30,725 --> 00:09:33,990 with one man to love and to love me. 97 00:09:34,062 --> 00:09:37,361 A simple life somewhere in a little cottage... 98 00:09:37,432 --> 00:09:41,994 that's all I ever wanted ever since I was a little girl with my mother and father. 99 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:44,436 Oh, your mother. What was your mother like? 100 00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:47,236 Mother? Well... 101 00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:51,904 Mother kept Daddy and me clean, neat as a pin, and took us to church every Sunday. 102 00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:56,644 So now I say unto you, love thy neighbor as thyself. 103 00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:59,585 'Tis better to give than to receive. 104 00:09:59,654 --> 00:10:04,318 Money is the root of all evil. 105 00:10:04,392 --> 00:10:07,657 Mother even had embroidered these very sentiments... 106 00:10:07,729 --> 00:10:10,527 on samplers for our living room at home. 107 00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:14,193 But we were poor, and Mother found it hard to live up to these ideas. 108 00:10:14,269 --> 00:10:16,703 Good day, Mrs. Jenkins. 109 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,205 Sherman, did you see Emily Jenkins? 110 00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:21,868 That slob smothered in a mink cape. 111 00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:24,241 I hate her guts! 112 00:10:24,312 --> 00:10:26,246 Look what I've got. 113 00:10:26,314 --> 00:10:30,148 Her husband was a shipping clerk 15 years ago, same as you. 114 00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:33,813 Now look at him. Look at you. Where's your drive? Where's your ambition? 115 00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:37,688 That's what counts in this world... Success! Money! 116 00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:41,923 Success! Money! President of the Nice Fellows Club! 117 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,400 Money! Success! Get to the top! 118 00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:51,064 Money! Success! Money! Money, money, money! 119 00:10:56,811 --> 00:10:58,745 As the years went by... 120 00:10:58,813 --> 00:11:01,748 I saw my dear, sweet Daddy dwindle away under this... 121 00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:04,410 till you practically didn't know he was there. 122 00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:09,651 I began to understand what Mother really meant by those samplers. 123 00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:21,865 You play your cards right and we'll have more money than we need. 124 00:11:21,936 --> 00:11:25,702 But, Mother, money isn't everything! 125 00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:28,368 I know Leonard Crawley owns Crawley's Emporium... 126 00:11:28,443 --> 00:11:31,037 and three quarters of the property in Crawleyville... 127 00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:34,775 but I'm not gonna marry him just because he's the richest man in town. 128 00:11:34,849 --> 00:11:37,909 He's a sneak and a bore and a drag... 129 00:11:37,986 --> 00:11:40,546 and, oh, he's been with every girl there is... 130 00:11:40,622 --> 00:11:42,556 and besides, I don't love him! 131 00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:45,718 - There's no such thing as love! - He's a snob! 132 00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:48,592 He's ashamed of you and where we live. 133 00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:52,064 Why, he won't even walk in this house when he comes to call for me. 134 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:55,068 I wouldn't come in here either, if I didn't have to. 135 00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:58,230 Louisa, you turned out real beautiful. 136 00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:02,140 You have something to sell. Take a mother's advice. Sell it now! 137 00:12:06,481 --> 00:12:09,245 - There's Leonard. You better hurry. - No, I'm not going! 138 00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:12,684 How dare you turn down a man like Leonard Crawley! 139 00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:15,848 I tell you he has money. You go and get it! 140 00:12:19,093 --> 00:12:21,027 Leonard was waiting. 141 00:12:21,095 --> 00:12:23,222 I thought over everything he had to offer. 142 00:12:23,298 --> 00:12:26,859 The Crawley home, the Crawley stables... 143 00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:28,903 Crawley's department store... 144 00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:32,064 but then there was Leonard himself. 145 00:12:33,775 --> 00:12:35,766 Leonard Crawley was, um... 146 00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:39,806 Hmm. How shall I say it? 147 00:12:40,882 --> 00:12:42,907 Well, that's not fair, I guess. 148 00:12:42,984 --> 00:12:45,145 He was just Leonard Crawley, son of wealth. 149 00:12:45,453 --> 00:12:47,944 Put 'er right down next to mine, baby. 150 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:51,617 - Gee, I wish I'd said that. - Aw, you can use it anytime you want. 151 00:12:51,693 --> 00:12:53,718 Just give credit to Crawley. 152 00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:56,628 That's more than Crawley ever did for anyone else in this town. 153 00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:01,995 Oh, by the way, you better let your mom know... 154 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,004 that the payment's due on her refrigerator. 155 00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:06,450 Don't let her get the idea that 'cause we're getting married... 156 00:13:06,474 --> 00:13:08,408 I'm gonna let her off the hook. 157 00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:11,411 Oh, no, no. By the way, she couldn't be your real mother. 158 00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:13,413 She must've been left on your front doorstep... 159 00:13:13,481 --> 00:13:16,348 one stormy night in a cage. 160 00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:18,510 Why are you so intent on marrying me... 161 00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:21,180 when it's perfectly obvious I'm indifferent to you... 162 00:13:21,256 --> 00:13:23,417 and all of the so-called advantages you have to offer? 163 00:13:23,491 --> 00:13:26,392 That's just it, baby. You're the only girl in town... 164 00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:30,192 who doesn't throw herself in front of me in the mud and scream, "Take me." 165 00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:32,358 You know, you suggest good breeding. 166 00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:34,367 Heaven knows where you got it from. 167 00:13:34,435 --> 00:13:36,699 But, uh, also you'll produce me an heir... 168 00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,864 and, uh, then my mother will stop nagging me... 169 00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:41,704 about carrying on the Crawley tradition. 170 00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:44,711 Any better reason than that for getting married, huh? 171 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:47,543 - Hmm? - How about love? 172 00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:51,051 Love? Well, let me put it this way, honey. 173 00:13:51,119 --> 00:13:53,553 I'm very rich and you're very poor. 174 00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:56,317 And sooner or later, you're gonna come around. 175 00:13:56,391 --> 00:13:59,588 Mm. You know the indifference I felt? 176 00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:01,993 Hmm? 177 00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,054 Well, it's beginning to change. 178 00:14:04,132 --> 00:14:09,069 - It's beginning to blossom into complete contempt. 179 00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:11,071 What'd I tell you, honey? 180 00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:13,972 I told you you were gonna come around sooner or later. 181 00:14:20,481 --> 00:14:24,110 I gotta pick up the 6:00 town news from my store manager. 182 00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:26,278 Mm. The Crawley Gestapo. 183 00:14:26,354 --> 00:14:28,914 Ohhh, yes. 184 00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,225 Huh? Oh, that eyesore. 185 00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:35,057 The only spot in town we don't own. 186 00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:38,860 But it's just a matter of time before old Hopper will come around. 187 00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:42,762 Just like you, baby. 188 00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:48,319 Good afternoon, Mr. Crawley, Miss Foster. Nice weather we're having. 189 00:14:48,343 --> 00:14:50,277 - All right. Make it fast, Driscoll. - Yes, sir. 190 00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:53,542 Mrs. Willoughby was five minutes late getting back from the doctor's today. 191 00:14:53,614 --> 00:14:56,515 - Oh. Five dollars fine off her salary. - Yes, sir. 192 00:14:56,584 --> 00:14:59,849 Hopper sent back the answer to your latest bid on his property. 193 00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:02,651 It's still "no." He says he doesn't want to make money. 194 00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:04,692 He just wants to keep his little place as it is. 195 00:15:04,759 --> 00:15:06,693 Edgar Hopper. 196 00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:09,355 I haven't run into him since high school. 197 00:15:11,632 --> 00:15:15,329 Hmm. I wonder how many days I'd get for manslaughter. 198 00:15:15,403 --> 00:15:18,497 In Crawleyville, they wouldn't even fine you, sir. 199 00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:41,694 - Hi, Lenny. - Edgar, you better watch where you're going. 200 00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:44,196 Yeah, you're right, Lenny. I was looking at the sun. 201 00:15:44,264 --> 00:15:47,358 - Aren't you angry? - Why should I be angry? It was my fault. 202 00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,198 - Then maybe we could fight. - There's no sense in doing that, Lenny. 203 00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:54,206 You'd kick the heck out of me... all that football and golf and tennis and everything. 204 00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,367 You're a real winner, Lenny. 205 00:15:56,443 --> 00:15:58,377 What are you, an orthodox coward? 206 00:15:58,445 --> 00:16:01,437 No, Lenny, I just believe in passive resistance. 207 00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:03,449 Oh. A Mahatma Hopper, I presume. 208 00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:07,146 No, as a matter of fact, Gandhi and I both got it from this guy... Henry Thoreau. 209 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,711 You're all covered with mud, Edgar! 210 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,486 Oh. I mean, Mr. Hopper. 211 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,154 Louisa... Louisa Foster, isn't it? 212 00:16:16,229 --> 00:16:18,823 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, I haven't seen you since Mrs. Pritchard's class. 213 00:16:18,899 --> 00:16:21,163 Hey, you've grown... or maybe I shrunk. 214 00:16:21,234 --> 00:16:23,168 He wouldn't be covered with all this mud... 215 00:16:23,236 --> 00:16:25,170 if he'd let the town pave that piece of road... 216 00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:27,172 in front of his property like anybody else. 217 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,174 It costs too much, Lenny. 218 00:16:29,242 --> 00:16:33,178 For what you Crawleys charge for a bag of cement, this town oughta be paved with gold. 219 00:16:33,246 --> 00:16:35,373 Thanks, Lenny. Hey, I gotta be going. 220 00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:38,179 - I don't wanna keep those trout waiting. - See you. 221 00:16:38,251 --> 00:16:41,186 Uh, don't grow any more, Miss Foster. 222 00:16:41,254 --> 00:16:43,882 You're just right now. Good-bye. 223 00:16:43,957 --> 00:16:45,948 Bye. 224 00:17:16,056 --> 00:17:19,492 - Oh! - Hello. Imagine finding you here. 225 00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:21,823 I just happened to be swimming by. 226 00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:23,829 Well, you scared the fish away. 227 00:17:23,897 --> 00:17:27,731 You could pull me in. I am full grown... you said so yourself. 228 00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:31,226 - Thank you. - Sit down. 229 00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:35,166 Here. Put this on. 230 00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:37,676 Thanks. Did you catch any? 231 00:17:37,744 --> 00:17:39,837 Well, yeah. Three, including you. 232 00:17:39,913 --> 00:17:42,006 I'll cook them for you. 233 00:17:42,082 --> 00:17:44,050 My clothes are right down there. 234 00:17:44,117 --> 00:17:46,347 Do you have anything to cook them in? 235 00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,856 Well, my baronial estate's right over there. 236 00:17:49,923 --> 00:17:53,359 - Is that where you live? - Yeah. I... 237 00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:56,521 It's kind of on the simple side. I know. 238 00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:59,258 Simple. Yes. 239 00:17:59,332 --> 00:18:03,200 "Oh, our lives are frittered away by detail. 240 00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:05,761 Simplify, simplify." 241 00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,773 What did you say? 242 00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:12,301 - "Our lives are frittered away... - "by detail. 243 00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:15,143 Simplify, simplify." 244 00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,581 A girl who can quote Thoreau! 245 00:18:17,651 --> 00:18:20,984 Oh, I couldn't quote him before I went to the library this morning. 246 00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:23,488 I'd never even heard of him before yesterday. 247 00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:27,653 Wh... Uh, you mean you didn't swim by my boat just by accident? 248 00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:32,454 No. 249 00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:34,466 Gee. 250 00:18:52,753 --> 00:18:56,189 What is the future Mrs. Leonard Crawley doing here anyway? 251 00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:58,622 Well, now, whatever gave you that idea about me? 252 00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:03,095 Well, I don't know. Everybody in town takes it for granted. 253 00:19:03,163 --> 00:19:05,097 You are engaged to him, aren't you? 254 00:19:05,165 --> 00:19:07,190 Well, he takes it for granted. 255 00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,531 Tsk. Ohhh. 256 00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:12,299 But, Edgar... 257 00:19:12,372 --> 00:19:14,966 as far back as I can remember... 258 00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:17,475 in grammar school, in Mrs. Pritchard's class... 259 00:19:17,544 --> 00:19:19,637 you know, when I sat in front of you? 260 00:19:19,713 --> 00:19:24,207 I wished that I had had long pigtails so you could stick them in the inkwell. 261 00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,548 Did you really? 262 00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:28,884 I'm not gonna marry Leonard Crawley. 263 00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:31,890 Of course, he'll never understand anyone turning him down. 264 00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:35,993 Especially for you. 265 00:19:36,062 --> 00:19:39,657 Louisa! You... 266 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:42,065 You mean you'd take this... 267 00:19:42,135 --> 00:19:44,399 instead of all that? 268 00:19:44,471 --> 00:19:47,304 But, Louisa, I've got... nothing. 269 00:19:47,374 --> 00:19:49,308 I'll... I'll always have nothing. 270 00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:53,676 - I'll always be nothing. - Edgar, that's what I want... nothing. 271 00:19:54,748 --> 00:19:57,012 To quote me and not Thoreau... 272 00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,074 I love you. 273 00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:10,553 Oh, Louisa. 274 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:14,293 I'll make you happy. I'll never work hard. 275 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:17,234 I'll never make good. I swear it! 276 00:20:19,472 --> 00:20:22,737 It's true, Mother. I've married Edgar Hopper. 277 00:20:28,248 --> 00:20:31,376 Whereas Mother received the news of my marriage to Edgar... 278 00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:33,544 with ill-disguised displeasure... 279 00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:36,282 Leonard took the news in his stride. 280 00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:49,735 For a while, Edgar and I led an idyllic life. 281 00:20:49,803 --> 00:20:52,237 He went off to the store a couple of hours a week... 282 00:20:52,305 --> 00:20:54,739 but the rest of the time belonged to us. 283 00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:59,643 As I look back on it, I see our life together as a wonderful old silent movie. 284 00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:57,127 Oh, I'll have this leak fixed in no time. 285 00:22:57,197 --> 00:22:59,563 Well, that ol' water tank always gave a lot of trouble. 286 00:22:59,632 --> 00:23:01,725 I'm going down to the store one of these days... 287 00:23:01,801 --> 00:23:03,735 and get some chicken wire and fix these springs. 288 00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:07,739 - You can do almost anything with chicken wire. - I sure do love chicken wire. 289 00:23:07,807 --> 00:23:10,119 - Leonard. - If you're thinking of running something up for dinner... 290 00:23:10,143 --> 00:23:12,077 I'd be pleased to stay. 291 00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:14,079 - Hello, Leonard. - Hi. Hi. 292 00:23:14,147 --> 00:23:17,014 If it isn't the happy Hoppers at home. I've been all over the world. 293 00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:19,847 This is the first chance I've had to come over and see you lovebirds. 294 00:23:19,919 --> 00:23:22,353 You know, I saw the Taj Mahal by moonlight, Louisa? 295 00:23:22,422 --> 00:23:25,016 - Hmm. - Oh, but I envy you... here. 296 00:23:25,091 --> 00:23:28,026 - What's that, uh, camera for? - Oh. I'm doing a documentary. 297 00:23:28,094 --> 00:23:30,927 Slum conditions in, uh, Crawleyville. 298 00:23:30,997 --> 00:23:33,192 - Ahhh. - Oh, come now, Leonard. 299 00:23:33,266 --> 00:23:35,200 You needn't be such a sore loser. 300 00:23:35,268 --> 00:23:39,864 Well, you gave me up for all this, and I can understand it, you know? 301 00:23:39,939 --> 00:23:42,533 A nice roof under your feet, rain a-face at night... 302 00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:46,044 all the grass you can eat. 303 00:23:46,112 --> 00:23:50,048 Hey, Leonard, get outta here before I twist your head off like a turnip. 304 00:23:50,116 --> 00:23:52,880 Well, is this the voice of passive resistance speaking? 305 00:23:52,952 --> 00:23:55,887 No, just get out of here. 306 00:23:55,955 --> 00:23:59,049 Oh! Oh, Louisa, you all right? 307 00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:02,094 - Ohhh! - Oh! 308 00:24:02,162 --> 00:24:06,895 Well, another innovation for modern living, huh? 309 00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:09,127 Instant shower for milady. 310 00:24:09,202 --> 00:24:11,670 - Well, well. - I'm afraid I'm not a bit handy, Edgar. 311 00:24:11,738 --> 00:24:13,672 Oh, no, but you are handy. 312 00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,004 I could use you at the store doing odd jobs... 313 00:24:16,076 --> 00:24:18,036 and I'd pay you and you could be earning a living. 314 00:24:18,078 --> 00:24:20,672 - My wife doesn't have to work! I'm sorry. - Aaah! 315 00:24:20,747 --> 00:24:23,773 Ohhh. 316 00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:25,784 Uh, let me... 317 00:24:25,852 --> 00:24:28,616 Ed. Seriously, Ed. Why don't you come down this afternoon... 318 00:24:28,688 --> 00:24:30,679 and sell me that piece of property of yours? 319 00:24:30,757 --> 00:24:32,691 Uh, someone could do something with it... 320 00:24:32,759 --> 00:24:34,852 not you, of course, but, uh, someone. 321 00:24:34,928 --> 00:24:37,692 - I said to get outta here. Get outta here! - All right, all right. 322 00:24:37,764 --> 00:24:40,927 I will. I'm gettin' out. Sorry to have barged in on you kids like this... 323 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,264 but I'll send a Christmas basket. 324 00:24:54,781 --> 00:24:56,874 What's the matter, darling? 325 00:24:56,950 --> 00:25:00,386 Oh, nothing. I... think I'll go down to the store... 326 00:25:00,453 --> 00:25:02,387 for a little while this afternoon. 327 00:25:02,455 --> 00:25:04,889 But you were there just 10 days ago! 328 00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,722 Well, it's got that chicken wire I want... 329 00:25:07,794 --> 00:25:10,558 and, uh, some nails. 330 00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:13,258 You know, it's end of summer. 331 00:25:13,333 --> 00:25:15,995 People come home from vacation. Somebody might want something. 332 00:25:17,303 --> 00:25:19,533 Uh, well, I'll be back. 333 00:25:23,576 --> 00:25:26,170 But he never really did come back... 334 00:25:26,246 --> 00:25:28,544 not the Edgar Hopper I knew. 335 00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:33,018 When he hadn't returned by the next day, I hurried into town. 336 00:25:33,086 --> 00:25:35,350 Hop, hop into Hopper's. The lowest prices in town. 337 00:25:35,421 --> 00:25:39,187 Unlimited credit. This is the biggest sale in the history of our county. 338 00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:42,194 Don't crawl to Crawley's, folks. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 339 00:25:42,262 --> 00:25:45,288 I guarantee you 10% off because we've no air conditioning. 340 00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:47,595 This is it, folks. Right here on Main Street. 341 00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:50,363 Hop, hop to Hopper's. We undersell everybody. 342 00:25:50,436 --> 00:25:52,427 Come right in, folks. Instant credit. 343 00:25:52,505 --> 00:25:55,099 If we haven't got it, we'll get it for you, folks. 344 00:25:55,175 --> 00:25:57,575 Don't crawl to Crawley's. Hop, hop to Hopper's. 345 00:25:57,644 --> 00:26:00,374 So all you shop... Louisa. 346 00:26:03,116 --> 00:26:06,779 - What is all this? - Hopper's Taj Mahal, honey, and it's all for you. 347 00:26:06,853 --> 00:26:11,415 Listen, Louisa, when that snake rattled into our house, something snapped. 348 00:26:11,491 --> 00:26:13,652 But where have you been? Why didn't you come home? 349 00:26:13,726 --> 00:26:17,423 There you were, mending the roof... my wife! 350 00:26:17,497 --> 00:26:20,762 Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers. Hop to Hopper's. 351 00:26:20,833 --> 00:26:24,394 Honey, I wanna get you things... dresses and things for the house... 352 00:26:24,470 --> 00:26:26,700 - a house! - But I like our house. 353 00:26:26,773 --> 00:26:28,707 What is it that makes a family... 354 00:26:28,775 --> 00:26:31,869 go to the same store over and over and no place else? 355 00:26:31,945 --> 00:26:35,472 Well, I don't know. Free eats, free toys for the kiddies. 356 00:26:35,548 --> 00:26:39,177 That's it! We'll stuff 'em and then we'll sell 'em. 357 00:26:39,252 --> 00:26:43,518 - Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers! Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's! 358 00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:45,581 Come on, honey. Let me show you around. 359 00:26:45,658 --> 00:26:50,095 Hey, you kids. Get up on there and keep with the "Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's." 360 00:26:50,163 --> 00:26:52,097 - Eddie, this is wonderful. - Oh, thanks, folks. 361 00:26:52,165 --> 00:26:54,099 - Terrific. - Thanks for coming. 362 00:26:54,167 --> 00:26:56,579 - There's more bargains than that. Okay. - We'll be back, Eddie. 363 00:26:56,603 --> 00:26:58,537 - Some buys, Eddie. - Edgar, uh... 364 00:26:58,605 --> 00:27:01,750 - Congratulations, Eddie. - Oh, thanks. The prices are low, the goods are right... 365 00:27:01,774 --> 00:27:03,708 so come to Hopper's from morn till night. 366 00:27:03,776 --> 00:27:06,088 - We'll be back. - No kidding. We're open till 10:00 every night. 367 00:27:06,112 --> 00:27:08,876 - How's it going there, folks? Those are all on sale. - Oh, great. 368 00:27:08,948 --> 00:27:11,712 - Edgar, when will we ever see each other? - Huh? 369 00:27:11,784 --> 00:27:15,584 Honey, as soon as this thing gets going, we'll have more time together than ever. 370 00:27:15,655 --> 00:27:18,453 But we had all our time together before. 371 00:27:18,524 --> 00:27:20,924 - What about Thoreau? - Thoreau? 372 00:27:20,994 --> 00:27:24,987 You don't want to "keep pace" like all the others. You heard "a different drummer," remember? 373 00:27:25,064 --> 00:27:26,998 Oh, yeah. I hear a different drummer, all right. 374 00:27:27,066 --> 00:27:29,466 And the music I hear says, "Hop, hop, Eddie. 375 00:27:29,535 --> 00:27:31,526 Hop, hop." 376 00:27:34,507 --> 00:27:37,340 Well, it looks like we've got him at last, Driscoll. 377 00:27:37,410 --> 00:27:39,878 Have we? The people seem to be eating it up. 378 00:27:39,946 --> 00:27:42,107 Anybody'll run to look at a freak. 379 00:27:42,181 --> 00:27:46,049 I figure I give him three months and he'll hop, hop himself right into oblivion. 380 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,519 #Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's # 381 00:27:48,588 --> 00:27:51,182 ♪ Hop, hop, hop, hop to Hopper's ♪ 382 00:27:51,257 --> 00:27:54,351 ♪ Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's, Hop ♪♪ 383 00:27:54,427 --> 00:27:58,022 For-Forgive me, sir, but we really must advertise. 384 00:27:58,097 --> 00:28:00,429 We must, huh? You're fired! 385 00:28:03,102 --> 00:28:06,697 - Merry Christmas and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 386 00:28:08,107 --> 00:28:10,041 Merry Christmas... 387 00:28:10,109 --> 00:28:12,304 and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year! 388 00:28:14,047 --> 00:28:17,312 - I really bought a lot of stuff. - I think you bought out the store. 389 00:28:17,383 --> 00:28:19,647 And it's no trouble at all, Mrs. Freeman. No trouble. 390 00:28:19,719 --> 00:28:21,697 If you can't leave Hopper's, Hopper's leaves with you. 391 00:28:21,721 --> 00:28:24,315 Hey, Ned, you drop Mrs. Freeman off on your way home, okay? 392 00:28:24,390 --> 00:28:26,324 Okay, boss. 393 00:28:26,392 --> 00:28:29,987 Oh, thank you, Edgar, and Merry Christmas. 394 00:28:30,063 --> 00:28:33,157 - Edgar. - Be right with you, lady. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Freeman! 395 00:28:33,232 --> 00:28:35,166 Edgar. 396 00:28:35,234 --> 00:28:37,668 Oh, hi, honey! Excuse me. I gotta get back. 397 00:28:37,737 --> 00:28:40,501 But, Edgar, aren't you coming home soon? 398 00:28:40,573 --> 00:28:43,052 Ooh, I'm sorry, Louisa. We're staying open till midnight tonight. 399 00:28:43,076 --> 00:28:45,271 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 400 00:28:45,345 --> 00:28:47,677 I'm just a little lonely, that's all. 401 00:28:47,747 --> 00:28:49,908 What? In that big beautiful new house, lonely? 402 00:28:49,982 --> 00:28:53,349 I'm the only one who's ever in it. 403 00:28:53,419 --> 00:28:55,887 Edgar, it's Christmas. 404 00:28:55,955 --> 00:28:58,719 But, yes, and Christmas is business... big business. 405 00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:01,885 You're working entirely too hard, darling. 406 00:29:01,961 --> 00:29:05,192 Honey, by this time next year, we'll be so rich we can take a real vacation. 407 00:29:05,264 --> 00:29:07,698 - Italy? - Italy. 408 00:29:07,767 --> 00:29:10,531 - Merry Christmas! - Besides, what's the matter with work? 409 00:29:10,603 --> 00:29:13,299 - A little hard work never killed anybody. - Merry Christmas... 410 00:29:13,373 --> 00:29:15,568 - Hi there. - And a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year. 411 00:29:28,321 --> 00:29:30,482 Edgar's hard work included hitting out... 412 00:29:30,556 --> 00:29:33,150 with every modern sales device known to man... 413 00:29:33,226 --> 00:29:35,956 - and Crawleyville was his captive audience. 414 00:29:36,028 --> 00:29:37,825 We were millionaires overnight. 415 00:29:38,131 --> 00:29:40,656 Darling, I've checked the hotels in Rome... 416 00:29:40,733 --> 00:29:43,167 and I have the reservations for our vacation. 417 00:29:43,236 --> 00:29:45,500 I'm sorry, honey. That'll have to wait till next year. 418 00:29:45,571 --> 00:29:47,801 - Next year? - Yes, next year. 419 00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:49,885 In the meantime, get yourself a couple of art books... 420 00:29:49,909 --> 00:29:51,843 and a box of spaghetti. 421 00:29:51,911 --> 00:29:55,347 Oh! You liar! You cheat! 422 00:29:55,415 --> 00:29:58,009 - You deceived me! - Deceived you? 423 00:29:58,084 --> 00:30:00,678 What, you think I got a blond tootsie on the side or something? 424 00:30:00,753 --> 00:30:02,687 Oh! I just wish you had! 425 00:30:02,755 --> 00:30:05,189 At least then I'd know you were relaxing! 426 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,954 Ohhh. 427 00:30:10,029 --> 00:30:13,624 Oh! You don't even have any feelings anymore. 428 00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:16,361 When we got married, you promised for better or for worse... 429 00:30:16,436 --> 00:30:19,200 that you'd never make good, that you'd always be nothing! 430 00:30:19,272 --> 00:30:23,038 Well, look at us! We're so rich we never even see each other anymore. 431 00:30:23,109 --> 00:30:28,046 Edgar! You're "frittering away your life in detail. Simplify, simplify." 432 00:30:28,114 --> 00:30:32,050 Simplify schmimmplify! A little hard work never killed anybody. 433 00:30:33,719 --> 00:30:37,290 Edgar was bewitched like the sorcerer's apprentice. 434 00:30:37,423 --> 00:30:40,551 - He couldn't stop. - Get me 300,000 feet of rust-proof chicken wire. 435 00:30:40,626 --> 00:30:42,560 What is with our order... 436 00:30:42,628 --> 00:30:44,994 on the Mother Goose atomic disintegrator kit? 437 00:30:45,064 --> 00:30:50,468 No, make 'em think they can't live without doorknobs that light up in the dark. Think big! 438 00:30:50,536 --> 00:30:53,615 Our musical mop which plays "Let Me Call You Sweetheart, I'm in Love with You," 439 00:30:53,639 --> 00:30:55,573 is a marketing failure. 440 00:30:55,641 --> 00:30:59,168 Get something happier like "Star and Stripes Forever" to guarantee musical mop-up. 441 00:30:59,245 --> 00:31:01,338 So it is just a simple equation! 442 00:31:01,414 --> 00:31:05,578 Service quotient "X" plus condensation-atmospheric quotient "Y"... 443 00:31:05,651 --> 00:31:07,744 plus smile-and-affability quotient "X"... 444 00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:10,414 show in the last three months a sales gain line... 445 00:31:10,489 --> 00:31:12,980 that has hop, hop, hopped right off the lousy board! 446 00:31:13,059 --> 00:31:15,687 In short, boys, we are becoming, by the figures... 447 00:31:15,761 --> 00:31:17,854 the big, bigger, biggest! 448 00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:25,629 Uh, "In re yours of the 23rd, I am impatiently awaiting your order." 449 00:31:25,705 --> 00:31:27,798 Uh, "Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 450 00:31:27,873 --> 00:31:30,986 "There can be no delays. If you insist on delaying, you can always be replaced. 451 00:31:31,010 --> 00:31:32,944 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 452 00:31:33,012 --> 00:31:34,990 "Since your delivery service has not been quick enough... 453 00:31:35,014 --> 00:31:36,948 "we are terminating our agreement with you. 454 00:31:37,016 --> 00:31:38,950 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 455 00:31:39,018 --> 00:31:41,963 "I'd like all those folders rushed out to the entire mailing list by Monday. 456 00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:43,921 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 457 00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:46,068 "Order canceled. We asked you for goods, you gave us promises. 458 00:31:46,092 --> 00:31:48,492 Hastily yours," uh, "Edgar Hopper." 459 00:31:48,561 --> 00:31:51,997 "All the displays in all the branch stores must be changed daily and rotated. 460 00:31:52,064 --> 00:31:53,998 Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 461 00:31:54,066 --> 00:31:56,478 "That is my final word on the subject. Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper." 462 00:31:56,502 --> 00:31:58,902 "I've got to have 10,000 bedsprings at once. 463 00:31:58,971 --> 00:32:01,405 "Hostilely yours, Edgar Ha per... Heaver..." uh, "Hop..." 464 00:32:01,474 --> 00:32:03,908 Uh, uh, "Hastily yours, the hop head," 465 00:32:03,976 --> 00:32:06,604 uh, "Hastily yours, the Boss." 466 00:32:06,679 --> 00:32:08,724 All right. I'd like that all in triplicate right away. 467 00:32:08,748 --> 00:32:11,581 Mr. Hopper, no one can work like this. The pace, it's too fast. 468 00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:14,016 W-We're not machines. We're human beings. 469 00:32:14,086 --> 00:32:18,022 There is no place here for anyone who cannot keep up with the pace of modern living. 470 00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:20,081 You are fired. 471 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,567 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. 472 00:32:38,644 --> 00:32:41,670 Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's. 473 00:33:16,649 --> 00:33:18,879 Yes? It happened! 474 00:33:18,951 --> 00:33:22,045 Get me my house, quick! 475 00:33:22,121 --> 00:33:24,521 You just closed the deal? My wife! Hurry! 476 00:33:24,590 --> 00:33:26,524 Leonard Crawley just handed over the keys. 477 00:33:26,592 --> 00:33:29,186 Louisa. Louisa! Louisa! 478 00:33:31,931 --> 00:33:34,229 - Hello. - Louisa, it happened. 479 00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,860 - What's happened? - The next time you walk down Main Street... 480 00:33:36,936 --> 00:33:38,870 there won't be any Crawley's there. 481 00:33:38,938 --> 00:33:40,906 It's gonna say "Hopper's." Louisa, I did it! 482 00:33:40,973 --> 00:33:43,168 I wiped him out! He's through in this town! 483 00:33:43,242 --> 00:33:46,643 I guess that's what you wanted, isn't it? 484 00:33:46,712 --> 00:33:51,308 Oh, I got what I wanted. And I got money, wealth, success, position. 485 00:33:51,383 --> 00:33:54,944 And next year, this town is gonna be called Hopperville. 486 00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:57,284 And how'd I get all these things? Through work. 487 00:33:57,356 --> 00:33:59,881 Just good hard work. 488 00:33:59,959 --> 00:34:02,450 Which all goes to prove... 489 00:34:02,528 --> 00:34:05,053 that a little hard work never killed anybody. 490 00:34:10,636 --> 00:34:13,196 "And outside of the bequest... 491 00:34:13,272 --> 00:34:17,265 "of one roll of chicken wire to Leonard Crawley... 492 00:34:17,343 --> 00:34:20,710 "I bequeath my entire fortune and worldly goods... 493 00:34:20,779 --> 00:34:25,341 to my wife, Louisa May Foster Hopper." 494 00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:28,352 Edgar had left me approximately $2 million... 495 00:34:28,420 --> 00:34:30,354 in cash and securities. 496 00:34:30,422 --> 00:34:34,256 And as Thoreau probably never said, that's a lot of lettuce. 497 00:34:36,562 --> 00:34:37,527 But, uh, my dear... 498 00:34:37,562 --> 00:34:38,493 But, uh, my dear... 499 00:34:38,564 --> 00:34:42,500 you... you mustn't think that this, in any way, makes you a witch. 500 00:34:42,568 --> 00:34:45,969 Oh, of course, it is tragic that Edgar died... 501 00:34:46,038 --> 00:34:48,370 but one swallow doesn't make a summer. 502 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,876 Your, uh, behavior sounds exemplary to say the least, the very least. 503 00:34:51,944 --> 00:34:56,540 Oh, why did Edgar change that way? 504 00:34:56,615 --> 00:35:00,016 Oh, normal. Quite normal. 505 00:35:00,085 --> 00:35:03,054 You see, he was the, uh... the weakest of the tribe... 506 00:35:03,122 --> 00:35:05,716 who had somehow won the prize... you... 507 00:35:05,791 --> 00:35:07,884 without really having had to fight for you. 508 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,053 Uh, latent feelings of inadequacy lay dormant... 509 00:35:10,129 --> 00:35:14,759 until he was triggered by Leonard parading before you in his rich, many-colored feathers. 510 00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:19,497 Edgar, naturally, felt impelled to get even more feathers... 511 00:35:19,572 --> 00:35:24,009 and driven by this ego drive, he smothered in his own, uh, feathers. 512 00:35:24,076 --> 00:35:27,011 It happens every day, you know. 513 00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:30,378 Tell me, um, what happened to the other feather... 514 00:35:30,449 --> 00:35:33,316 or, uh, fellow, this, uh, Leonard? 515 00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:36,684 I never heard from him again. 516 00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:44,920 - Dr. Steffanson... Aaah! Aaah! - Oh! 517 00:35:44,997 --> 00:35:47,158 Oh! Oh! Louisa! 518 00:35:47,232 --> 00:35:50,099 I'm sorry. Just relax! Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 519 00:35:52,338 --> 00:35:56,536 There. Now, please, please, ju-just relax. 520 00:35:56,609 --> 00:35:58,543 - Mm. Yes. - Try to relax. 521 00:35:58,611 --> 00:36:01,705 Uh, y-you were saying about, uh, Leonard. Leonard. 522 00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:04,715 W-Where did Leonard go? 523 00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:07,343 Uh, well... 524 00:36:08,554 --> 00:36:10,886 he just walked away like a plucked chicken. 525 00:36:10,956 --> 00:36:13,982 Uh-huh. Normal. Quite... Quite normal. 526 00:36:14,059 --> 00:36:17,586 Yeah. Well, I... 527 00:36:17,663 --> 00:36:20,564 I put all the money in the bank and... 528 00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:23,124 - I gave the house to Mama. - Uh-huh. 529 00:36:23,202 --> 00:36:27,866 Then I took a small allowance for myself and I got out of Crawleyville. 530 00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:29,874 Mm-hmm. 531 00:36:29,942 --> 00:36:34,345 I took a trip to Europe alone, to Paris. 532 00:36:34,413 --> 00:36:36,347 I wanted to forget... 533 00:36:36,415 --> 00:36:40,249 and I was determined never to marry again. 534 00:36:58,604 --> 00:37:01,198 The bus tours were thrilling and exhausting. 535 00:37:15,554 --> 00:37:17,818 Place de la, uh... 536 00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:20,154 des jardins de... 537 00:37:20,225 --> 00:37:22,318 Ohhh. 538 00:37:22,394 --> 00:37:25,886 - "Est-ce que..." - I ain't got all day, lady. Where do you wanna go? 539 00:37:25,964 --> 00:37:30,526 - Oh. You speak English. - All of us foreigners do. It's compulsory. 540 00:37:30,602 --> 00:37:33,537 You American? 541 00:37:33,605 --> 00:37:36,369 Nah, lady, I'm a Russian spy for the C.I.A. 542 00:37:36,442 --> 00:37:38,376 Well, what'll it be, huh... 543 00:37:38,444 --> 00:37:41,174 go to the American ghetto at the bar at the Georges Cinq... 544 00:37:41,246 --> 00:37:43,510 or go visit some of your phony friends... 545 00:37:43,582 --> 00:37:45,777 learning about life at Les Deux Magots? 546 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:52,653 Well, frankly, I'd like to do either, but, uh, I don't know anybody here. 547 00:38:16,582 --> 00:38:18,550 Well? 548 00:38:18,617 --> 00:38:21,313 Oh. Well. 549 00:38:21,386 --> 00:38:24,355 Uh, well, I think I'd like to see some more pictures. 550 00:38:24,423 --> 00:38:26,983 I've just been through the Louvre, and that was wonderful. 551 00:38:27,059 --> 00:38:30,654 The Louvre. Now, what is that? It's the garbage pail of the arts. 552 00:38:30,729 --> 00:38:32,663 - Et vous! Allez, allez! 553 00:38:32,731 --> 00:38:34,665 Démarrez! 554 00:38:34,733 --> 00:38:38,499 Well, uh, how about the show at the Galeries Lafayette? 555 00:38:38,570 --> 00:38:40,504 That's a department store, lady... 556 00:38:40,572 --> 00:38:43,384 but I'd rather hang up one of their face towels than some of that other junk. 557 00:38:43,408 --> 00:38:46,343 Listen, I'm sure you're an expert taxi driver... 558 00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:48,436 and I don't mean to belittle your profession... 559 00:38:48,514 --> 00:38:50,448 but why should I listen to your opinion on art? 560 00:38:52,084 --> 00:38:55,178 Because I happen to be one of five people today... 561 00:38:55,254 --> 00:38:57,188 who could definitely be called an artist. 562 00:38:57,256 --> 00:38:59,952 Maybe six, including Frieda. 563 00:39:00,025 --> 00:39:04,485 - Who's Frieda? - A chimpanzee on my block. 564 00:39:07,032 --> 00:39:09,523 Oh, that's great. That's great. 565 00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:11,946 I mean, you see a technique like that, it just wipes you out. 566 00:39:11,970 --> 00:39:14,530 - I go ape! - Uh, what is it? 567 00:39:14,606 --> 00:39:16,631 What is it? Innocence! 568 00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:20,166 Van Gogh had it, but, uh, then he had to chop his ear off... 569 00:39:20,245 --> 00:39:22,179 in order to free himself. 570 00:39:22,247 --> 00:39:25,808 - Free himself from what? - Intellectual hang-up. 571 00:39:25,884 --> 00:39:28,396 You know, if we could all do that, go back to a life like that... 572 00:39:28,420 --> 00:39:30,354 uncluttered, unhung... 573 00:39:30,422 --> 00:39:33,084 simple. 574 00:39:33,158 --> 00:39:36,594 - Oh. - Well, Frieda had the best teacher in the world, you know. 575 00:39:36,662 --> 00:39:38,857 - Rene Carrere there. - Ohhh. 576 00:39:38,931 --> 00:39:42,731 I'm very happy to meet you, Mr. Carrere. I'm Louisa May Hopper. 577 00:39:42,801 --> 00:39:48,171 You don't look anything like the Emile Desjardins it said you are in your cab. 578 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,504 The name is Larry Flint. 579 00:39:50,576 --> 00:39:54,376 I just take Emile's cab out for him once a year... the day his wife has a baby. 580 00:39:54,446 --> 00:39:56,573 Frieda is finished now. 581 00:39:57,583 --> 00:39:59,881 It's a masterpiece! 582 00:39:59,952 --> 00:40:03,080 Boy! Look at the line! 583 00:40:03,155 --> 00:40:06,386 And the color and the sweep and the texture. 584 00:40:06,458 --> 00:40:08,983 Marvelous! 585 00:40:10,028 --> 00:40:12,360 A testament to the human spirit! 586 00:40:12,431 --> 00:40:15,025 Total primitive articulation! 587 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,864 - Mwah! - Does Frieda's work sell? 588 00:40:17,936 --> 00:40:21,201 Sell? You think Frieda cares whether her work sells? 589 00:40:21,273 --> 00:40:23,207 You think I care whether my work sells? 590 00:40:23,275 --> 00:40:26,608 Typical American yardstick... the eternal buck! That's why I left the place. 591 00:40:26,678 --> 00:40:29,704 Well, Mr. Flint, I was only asking. Um... 592 00:40:29,781 --> 00:40:32,215 Aaah! What's that? 593 00:40:32,284 --> 00:40:34,946 She's at it again. 594 00:40:35,020 --> 00:40:37,420 Aaah! Well, is someone being murdered? Aaah! 595 00:40:37,489 --> 00:40:39,423 Are we going to the police? 596 00:40:42,127 --> 00:40:44,459 Hey, Larry. She shot three already! 597 00:40:49,835 --> 00:40:51,826 Hey, Polly, you're working again. 598 00:40:51,904 --> 00:40:54,236 Yeah. For weeks I thought I couldn't paint again... 599 00:40:54,306 --> 00:40:56,638 and now, suddenly, it's all come back! 600 00:41:01,847 --> 00:41:04,407 One of the greats. 601 00:41:04,483 --> 00:41:06,781 Ugh! That picture makes me sick! 602 00:41:06,852 --> 00:41:08,786 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 603 00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:10,913 Good. Feel sick. It should make you feel sick. 604 00:41:10,989 --> 00:41:12,923 It's destruction, pure and simple. 605 00:41:12,991 --> 00:41:16,188 That's what today is all about. That technique is her way of expressing it. 606 00:41:16,261 --> 00:41:19,958 Ugh! Aaah! 607 00:41:20,032 --> 00:41:24,025 What was I doing in Paris 4,500 miles away from home? 608 00:41:24,102 --> 00:41:27,367 It was fate. I had come to meet Larry Flint... 609 00:41:27,439 --> 00:41:29,532 an unspoiled, dedicated artist... 610 00:41:29,608 --> 00:41:33,044 searching in his own troubled way for the simple life. 611 00:41:33,111 --> 00:41:35,944 Suddenly, I knew I wanted to share that life. 612 00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:40,646 Well, I never did go back to the Ritz. 613 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,653 I'll never forget the wedding. 614 00:41:42,721 --> 00:41:45,383 Frieda made a lovely bridesmaid. 615 00:41:45,457 --> 00:41:48,221 As a matter of fact, she caught the bridal bouquet and ate it. 616 00:41:50,429 --> 00:41:54,058 For a while, Larry and I led an idyllic life. 617 00:41:54,132 --> 00:41:58,694 As I look back on it, it all seems like one of those wickedly romantic French movies. 618 00:42:29,468 --> 00:42:33,097 To your health, Louisa! 619 00:43:12,677 --> 00:43:15,145 - Louisa! - Louisa! 620 00:44:17,208 --> 00:44:20,268 The rest of the time, I kept house. 621 00:44:20,344 --> 00:44:22,744 Ah, la vie de Bohème! 622 00:44:22,814 --> 00:44:25,009 Le sacrifice d'amour. 623 00:44:39,430 --> 00:44:42,831 - This week's dinner. - Oh, darling! 624 00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,300 Beautiful! 625 00:44:45,369 --> 00:44:48,361 - How did you... - Opus 752. 626 00:44:48,439 --> 00:44:52,375 But, darling, that's one of your most beautiful paintings. 627 00:44:52,443 --> 00:44:54,421 Well, we can see it anytime we go to the butcher shop. 628 00:44:54,445 --> 00:44:57,458 Monsieur Blanchard has got it hanging right over the tripe and the sweetbreads. 629 00:44:57,482 --> 00:45:02,476 - But I've told you so many times, in the United States in a bank... - Won't touch it... not a nickel! 630 00:45:02,553 --> 00:45:05,215 Money corrupts. Art erupts. 631 00:45:05,289 --> 00:45:07,553 Oh, that's a beautiful saying. 632 00:45:07,625 --> 00:45:09,786 It's immortal. I just made it up. 633 00:45:09,861 --> 00:45:13,558 Hey, uh, say, listen, why don't you bring some of that downstairs for me? 634 00:45:13,631 --> 00:45:15,724 Will you? I got some erupting to do. 635 00:45:47,331 --> 00:45:49,265 Darling, your soup's on. 636 00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:51,267 Soup. 637 00:45:57,275 --> 00:46:00,711 Darling, must you make so much noise when you paint? 638 00:46:01,846 --> 00:46:03,780 Ain't no other way, honey. 639 00:46:03,848 --> 00:46:05,782 Tools of my trade, like I told you. 640 00:46:05,850 --> 00:46:08,614 See, the sound, the sonic vibrations, they go in there. 641 00:46:08,686 --> 00:46:11,211 And then that gets transmitted to that photoelectric cell... 642 00:46:11,289 --> 00:46:14,747 which gives those dynamic impulses to the brushes and the arms... 643 00:46:14,825 --> 00:46:20,320 and it's a fusion of the mechanized world and a human soul. 644 00:46:20,398 --> 00:46:23,595 It's the only affirmative statement being made in the world of art today. 645 00:46:23,668 --> 00:46:26,535 I-I'm sorry. I forgot. 646 00:46:26,604 --> 00:46:28,572 It's a terrible thing, being so dumb. 647 00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:30,573 Well, you're really not so dumb, honey... 648 00:46:30,641 --> 00:46:33,439 'cause, to tell the truth, I don't understand it myself. 649 00:46:51,929 --> 00:46:53,863 I left the machine on. 650 00:46:53,931 --> 00:46:56,900 Larry! 651 00:46:56,968 --> 00:46:59,459 Larry. 652 00:46:59,537 --> 00:47:02,028 I know this probably sounds stupid to you... 653 00:47:02,106 --> 00:47:05,041 but what if we take a record... 654 00:47:05,109 --> 00:47:07,942 and we put it on and we play it through the, uh... the... 655 00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:10,776 - Sonic palette. - The sonic palette. 656 00:47:10,848 --> 00:47:13,749 Silly kid. Go ahead. 657 00:47:13,818 --> 00:47:15,752 Mendelssohn's "Spring Song"... 658 00:47:15,820 --> 00:47:17,811 that's my favorite. 659 00:48:23,888 --> 00:48:25,981 Larry? 660 00:48:26,057 --> 00:48:30,824 Larry. Oh, I like the ones you make with your own noises. 661 00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:33,056 They're the real you. 662 00:48:35,399 --> 00:48:38,732 Yeah, but, uh, I hate to waste a good canvas... 663 00:48:38,803 --> 00:48:41,829 so I might try to pay a bill with it. 664 00:48:41,906 --> 00:48:44,739 Maybe the butcher won't know the difference... 665 00:48:44,809 --> 00:48:47,334 between a real Larry Flint and a Mendelssohn. 666 00:48:51,515 --> 00:48:55,349 Hey, Louisa. Hey! Guess what. 667 00:48:55,419 --> 00:48:58,183 - What, darling? - I didn't leave it at the butcher's. 668 00:48:58,255 --> 00:49:01,850 I was there showing it to him, and there was this customer there buying pig's knuckles. 669 00:49:01,926 --> 00:49:06,693 So, um, he looks at the picture and then he puts on his glasses and he gives me his card... 670 00:49:06,764 --> 00:49:09,198 and he gives me 40,000 francs! 671 00:49:09,266 --> 00:49:11,860 That's almost $200. 672 00:49:11,936 --> 00:49:13,961 Oh. Why, that's wonderful, darling. 673 00:49:14,038 --> 00:49:16,802 All from that silly little idea. 674 00:49:16,874 --> 00:49:18,967 Yeah, well, I gotta go downstairs and get to work. 675 00:49:21,545 --> 00:49:24,878 I'll be listening for all those dear funny little noises. 676 00:50:07,358 --> 00:50:10,759 Aha! Das ist gute, Ludwig. 677 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,360 The show was a smashing success. 678 00:50:45,429 --> 00:50:49,388 - Merci, Madame. - Larry was famous and rich overnight. 679 00:50:49,467 --> 00:50:52,561 In the middle of this excitement, I was filled with apprehension... 680 00:50:52,636 --> 00:50:54,570 although I tried to conceal it. 681 00:50:54,638 --> 00:50:57,402 - Congratulations, Master. - I am insufferably honored. 682 00:50:57,475 --> 00:51:00,410 Frieda and I are very happy. 683 00:51:00,478 --> 00:51:03,914 At last, painting which is music and music which is painting. 684 00:51:03,981 --> 00:51:07,576 - How do you do it? - Oh, can anyone explain the workings of the inner man? 685 00:51:07,651 --> 00:51:11,917 Actually, the act of creation might best be described as pure animal instinct. 686 00:51:11,989 --> 00:51:16,016 If only Beethoven were alive to just hear this painting. 687 00:51:16,093 --> 00:51:18,687 Ah, yes. Pauvre Ludwig. I think he'd be very pleased. 688 00:51:18,762 --> 00:51:22,528 Your paintings make me want to kneel, pray and cry. 689 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,678 Well, in that case, Baroness, why don't you buy one... 690 00:51:24,702 --> 00:51:26,761 then you can kneel and pray and cry at home. 691 00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:28,896 Sensation, Master! 692 00:51:28,973 --> 00:51:33,376 - Please. - Please. Please let me introduce you to all Paris. 693 00:51:33,444 --> 00:51:36,709 Well, thank you very much, but me wife and I don't take much to the high places. 694 00:51:36,780 --> 00:51:40,546 We'll just go back to our little garage and attic. I got work to do. 695 00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:45,716 But, of course, we didn't go back to the old place. 696 00:51:45,789 --> 00:51:47,916 We had a lovely house on Isle St. Louis. 697 00:51:47,992 --> 00:51:49,926 But Larry was never there. 698 00:51:49,994 --> 00:51:51,928 If he wasn't entertaining at the gallery... 699 00:51:51,996 --> 00:51:54,464 he was at his studio just outside of Paris. 700 00:52:09,914 --> 00:52:12,405 I was tired of being alone... 701 00:52:12,483 --> 00:52:16,010 tired of wearing these ridiculous outfits Larry painted for me. 702 00:52:16,086 --> 00:52:18,179 What kind of life was this? 703 00:52:18,255 --> 00:52:20,348 I was just another canvas to him... 704 00:52:20,424 --> 00:52:22,858 just another walking catalog. 705 00:52:22,927 --> 00:52:25,521 Where was the simple life Larry and I had had... 706 00:52:25,596 --> 00:52:27,689 that vie de Bohème? 707 00:52:27,765 --> 00:52:29,858 He was obsessed with success. 708 00:52:29,934 --> 00:52:33,529 I had to get him back. I couldn't let that happen to me a second time. 709 00:52:33,604 --> 00:52:35,663 Suddenly, I had an idea. 710 00:52:57,294 --> 00:53:01,321 What are you doing up there? Get down! Down! 711 00:53:01,398 --> 00:53:04,492 What the... 712 00:53:06,270 --> 00:53:09,034 Stop that right now! Stop that! Stop that! 713 00:53:10,140 --> 00:53:13,337 Come on, now! Stop that! 714 00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:17,213 Louisa, what are you doing here? 715 00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:20,011 Darling, I haven't seen you in so long. 716 00:53:20,084 --> 00:53:23,019 What do you mean? We had dinner together only last week. What do you want? 717 00:53:23,087 --> 00:53:25,180 Uh, I have a surprise for you. 718 00:53:26,490 --> 00:53:28,481 Aha! 719 00:53:34,131 --> 00:53:36,759 Larry! 720 00:53:36,834 --> 00:53:39,029 Larry! 721 00:53:39,103 --> 00:53:41,731 Larry! 722 00:53:41,805 --> 00:53:43,773 Look who's here! 723 00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:47,038 - Well, how is Frieda? - Oh, painting better than ever. 724 00:53:47,111 --> 00:53:50,547 Larry. Larry, we have missed you, Larry. 725 00:53:50,614 --> 00:53:52,775 Oh, yes. I have missed you too. 726 00:53:58,088 --> 00:54:00,556 Listen, Larry. We have a picnic. 727 00:54:00,624 --> 00:54:03,889 Some bread and wine and cheese, and I thought we could all... 728 00:54:03,961 --> 00:54:06,896 No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm working against a deadline. 729 00:54:06,964 --> 00:54:10,559 This mural's for Neiman Marcus. That's a department store in Texas. 730 00:54:10,634 --> 00:54:13,501 150 thou! 731 00:54:13,570 --> 00:54:16,835 I've got to get it rolled up and on a jet by tomorrow. 732 00:54:19,743 --> 00:54:21,677 What are you doing up there? 733 00:54:21,745 --> 00:54:25,237 Aaargh! Oh, I never should have had these damn things made in Paris! 734 00:54:28,585 --> 00:54:31,520 What are you doing? Where are you going? Get back in line here! 735 00:54:31,588 --> 00:54:34,022 Stop that now! 736 00:54:34,091 --> 00:54:36,855 - I'm terribly sorry, Rene. I'm sorry. - Stop that! 737 00:54:36,927 --> 00:54:39,020 Get back there! Get back there! 738 00:54:39,096 --> 00:54:42,827 Larry! Larry, what is the matter with you? What is the matter? 739 00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:46,267 - Get back there! - Larry, why can't it be the way it used to be? 740 00:54:46,336 --> 00:54:49,635 Larry, I never dreamed this could happen! 741 00:54:49,707 --> 00:54:51,641 What is the matter with you, Larry? 742 00:54:51,709 --> 00:54:55,145 What is the matter with you? 743 00:54:59,383 --> 00:55:01,351 - Larry! - Rene, let's go. 744 00:55:37,755 --> 00:55:42,886 150 thou! Ohhh! 745 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:44,689 What the... 746 00:55:44,762 --> 00:55:47,162 A a a ah! 747 00:56:08,786 --> 00:56:11,550 - En Anglais, s'il vous plait. - Pardon, Madame. 748 00:56:11,622 --> 00:56:14,056 "I, Larry Flint, bequeath all my..." 749 00:56:14,124 --> 00:56:16,490 What Larry Flint had left me in cash... 750 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:18,551 plus the sale of his remaining pictures... 751 00:56:18,629 --> 00:56:22,326 brought me in the neighborhood of $4 million in American money. 752 00:56:22,399 --> 00:56:26,004 It was an amount even Picasso wouldn't be ashamed of. 753 00:56:26,137 --> 00:56:29,937 After several months of trying to lose myself in Paris... 754 00:56:30,008 --> 00:56:31,942 I decided to leave. 755 00:56:41,419 --> 00:56:43,410 Oh! 756 00:56:45,023 --> 00:56:47,958 I was here an hour early and you kept me sitting in that lounge... 757 00:56:48,026 --> 00:56:51,518 and everyone said, "Well, don't worry. You'll hear the announcement." 758 00:56:51,596 --> 00:56:55,692 We phoned for them to hold up for you, but I guess they didn't get the message, Madame. 759 00:56:55,767 --> 00:56:57,701 Believe me... Believe me, it's just... 760 00:56:57,769 --> 00:57:00,033 All my luggage is on that plane! 761 00:57:00,104 --> 00:57:02,698 Oh, I had my heart set on getting out of here tonight. 762 00:57:15,954 --> 00:57:19,014 - But I can't possibly stay in Paris for another day. - Madame... 763 00:57:19,090 --> 00:57:22,457 - You missed the last trolley back to town? - Oh, Mr. Anderson. 764 00:57:22,527 --> 00:57:24,461 Should I have that plane brought back? 765 00:57:24,529 --> 00:57:27,396 - No, no. I'll take it from here. - Thank you, Mr. Anderson. 766 00:57:27,465 --> 00:57:30,764 Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. Overseas call, sir. San Francisco. 767 00:57:30,835 --> 00:57:34,066 Okay. Excuse me. Hello? Uh-huh. 768 00:57:34,139 --> 00:57:36,198 I recognized him immediately... 769 00:57:36,274 --> 00:57:39,607 unbalding, glamorous Rod Anderson, Jr... 770 00:57:39,677 --> 00:57:42,111 millionaire tycoon, up from riches... 771 00:57:42,180 --> 00:57:46,241 inheriting 10 million from senior Anderson's maple syrup empire. 772 00:57:46,317 --> 00:57:49,514 Unmarried, he seemed to have no trouble in getting what he wanted... 773 00:57:49,587 --> 00:57:53,216 - in business or in pleasure. - Uh-huh. Yeah. Buy it. Thank you. 774 00:57:53,291 --> 00:57:55,589 Well, Mrs. Flint, where would you like to go? 775 00:57:55,660 --> 00:57:58,939 I was sorry to read of your loss. I saw you at one of your late husband's openings. 776 00:57:58,963 --> 00:58:01,796 I didn't buy anything, though. I don't like his paintings. 777 00:58:01,866 --> 00:58:05,097 Well, I don't like your airplanes. Where are you going? 778 00:58:05,170 --> 00:58:08,162 New York, Miami, Irkutsk... anyplace you'd like to go. 779 00:58:08,239 --> 00:58:10,605 I just flew in from New York this evening for some party. 780 00:58:10,675 --> 00:58:13,667 I stayed about a half an hour, and I'd had it. I don't like parties. 781 00:58:13,745 --> 00:58:16,737 So, you just put on your Superman suit and fly away home. 782 00:58:16,815 --> 00:58:21,377 That's right. And there it is... or don't you accept hitches from strange men? 783 00:58:21,452 --> 00:58:23,920 Oh, I know who you are, Mr. Anderson. 784 00:58:23,988 --> 00:58:25,922 I just don't know if I'll be very good company. 785 00:58:25,990 --> 00:58:28,458 I just got... I don't have much small talk. 786 00:58:28,526 --> 00:58:31,324 - I haven't any time for small talk either. - Excuse me, Mr. Anderson. 787 00:58:31,396 --> 00:58:34,991 - Overseas call. Hong Kong calling. - Excuse me. Uh-huh. 788 00:58:35,066 --> 00:58:39,799 Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. Sell it. Thank you. 789 00:58:39,871 --> 00:58:43,034 - Well, where shall it be? - New York. 790 00:58:43,107 --> 00:58:45,735 New York it is. 791 00:58:51,816 --> 00:58:55,912 What was I getting into? What was on that plane? 792 00:58:55,987 --> 00:58:59,184 I looked at the name of it. "Melissa." 793 00:58:59,257 --> 00:59:01,782 Naturally it would be named after a woman. 794 00:59:01,860 --> 00:59:04,090 I'd heard enough about those dissolute playboys. 795 00:59:21,846 --> 00:59:25,475 What are you doing after the orgy? 796 00:59:28,219 --> 00:59:31,279 The, uh, plane is ready. 797 00:59:31,356 --> 00:59:35,622 - Pretty name, "Melissa." - Someone I knew a long time ago. 798 00:59:54,712 --> 00:59:57,203 - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. - Good evening, Mark. 799 00:59:57,282 --> 01:00:01,878 Mark, this is Mrs. Flint. She'll be flying back with us. What sort of weather have we? 800 01:00:01,953 --> 01:00:05,719 - It's clear, sir, all the way through to New York. - Excellent. 801 01:00:11,029 --> 01:00:15,261 - Good evening, Willard. - Good evening, Mr. Anderson. 802 01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,665 - Willard, this is Mrs. Flint. - How do you do? 803 01:00:17,735 --> 01:00:20,226 - Mrs. Flint will be flying back with us. - Yes, sir. 804 01:00:20,305 --> 01:00:22,466 Her bags left on the 11:19. 805 01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:25,839 You have them picked up at Idlewild and delivered to... 806 01:00:25,910 --> 01:00:29,073 - Uh, the Montclair Hotel? - Is that your favorite? 807 01:00:29,147 --> 01:00:33,743 - Well, I've never, uh, been in New York. Only for a few hours en route. - Mm-hmm. 808 01:00:33,818 --> 01:00:38,118 - You better make that my suite at the St. Regis, Willard. - Very good, sir. 809 01:00:38,189 --> 01:00:40,521 It's reserved for visiting executives. 810 01:00:40,591 --> 01:00:44,186 I camp about 10 blocks further up the street on Fifth Avenue. 811 01:00:44,262 --> 01:00:47,959 - And Willard, have the chef come 'round and take Mrs. Flint's order, will you? - Yes, sir. 812 01:00:48,032 --> 01:00:51,126 You have anything you like. We have some rather fine wines aboard. 813 01:00:51,202 --> 01:00:54,433 - I'll, uh, just have my usual. - Yes, sir. 814 01:00:54,505 --> 01:00:57,941 - Whatever you have is all right with me. - Oh, really? 815 01:00:58,009 --> 01:01:03,413 My usual is two soft-boiled eggs, gluten toast and a glass of yogurt. 816 01:01:03,481 --> 01:01:07,918 And Willard, Mrs. Flint will have the, uh, crème Senegalese, steak Diane... 817 01:01:07,986 --> 01:01:13,390 pomme soufflé, profiteroles with, uh, chocolate sauce, and break out a bottle of La Tache. 818 01:01:13,458 --> 01:01:15,858 - Very good, sir. - And that'll be all, Willard. Thank you. 819 01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:19,454 Now, let's step into the bar. 820 01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:22,499 - I'll make you one of my very special martinis. - Oh, thank you, no. 821 01:01:22,567 --> 01:01:25,866 I'll have a, uh... a scotch on the "rotch." 822 01:01:25,937 --> 01:01:29,634 - Uh, on the rocks. - Oh. Very well. 823 01:01:30,775 --> 01:01:33,972 I was raised on maple syrup, you know. 824 01:01:34,045 --> 01:01:36,013 Cured me of drinking anything at all. 825 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,244 - Oh. Well, then I won't have... - No, no, no. You go right ahead. Drink up. It's good for you. 826 01:01:42,854 --> 01:01:46,119 Telephone. Watkins in Chicago. 827 01:01:46,190 --> 01:01:48,181 Excuse me. 828 01:01:58,136 --> 01:02:01,003 You know, you really are rather beautiful... 829 01:02:01,072 --> 01:02:04,906 but, uh, is that your hair? 830 01:02:04,976 --> 01:02:07,001 Yeah. Hello. 831 01:02:07,078 --> 01:02:11,014 Okay. You just sit tight. No, no. I think Prescott's bluffing anyway. 832 01:02:11,082 --> 01:02:13,073 True, there was no orgy on board. 833 01:02:13,151 --> 01:02:16,120 - He wasn't the Diamond Jim Brady of the jet set. 834 01:02:16,187 --> 01:02:20,385 But he was arrogant, cold, sure of himself, ordering people around... 835 01:02:20,458 --> 01:02:24,861 another object lesson in what money and power can do to a human being. 836 01:02:24,929 --> 01:02:28,922 But for all of it, he really seemed to be a miserable and lonely man. 837 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:34,870 Why he never even smiled. Not once had a smile lit that stony, sunless face. 838 01:02:34,939 --> 01:02:37,635 Well, a tycoon's work is never finished, is it? 839 01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:41,576 - That's what you call yourself, isn't it? A tycoon? - Absolutely. Absolutely. 840 01:02:41,646 --> 01:02:46,447 Every morning I get up and look at myself in the mirror, and I say, "Good morning, tycoon." 841 01:02:46,517 --> 01:02:49,077 I, uh... I know you don't approve of me, Mrs. Flint... 842 01:02:49,153 --> 01:02:51,917 but that need be of no concern to either one of us. 843 01:02:51,989 --> 01:02:54,651 I'm going into my office now. I've got some work to do. 844 01:02:54,725 --> 01:03:00,595 I promise not to interrupt by calling out points of passing interest or the weather conditions over Baffin Bay. 845 01:03:00,665 --> 01:03:04,157 I'll see you in New York, and don't forget to fasten your seat belt. 846 01:03:09,507 --> 01:03:12,670 What was wrong with my hat anyway? 847 01:03:15,813 --> 01:03:19,579 - Okay, Mark. I'll take her. - Okay, sir. 848 01:03:20,818 --> 01:03:23,116 I wondered who Melissa was. 849 01:03:23,187 --> 01:03:26,623 Some forgotten Hollywood starlet, no doubt. 850 01:03:33,498 --> 01:03:37,491 I was scared. I hated being alone during the takeoff. 851 01:04:31,856 --> 01:04:35,485 It was so beautiful looking down... 852 01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:39,462 the lights, the sky, the stars. 853 01:04:40,631 --> 01:04:43,327 How I wished I had someone to share it with... 854 01:04:43,401 --> 01:04:48,270 not this unsmiling, airborne cigar-store Indian. 855 01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:51,774 Then, the fatal thing happened. 856 01:04:57,548 --> 01:05:01,177 I'm glad you decided to join me. 857 01:05:01,252 --> 01:05:04,244 Nice to have someone to share it with, isn't it? 858 01:05:05,890 --> 01:05:07,824 Beautiful. 859 01:05:08,893 --> 01:05:12,852 Excuse me, sir. Telephone. Zurich. 860 01:05:12,930 --> 01:05:17,162 Willard, tell the gentleman I just stepped out. 861 01:05:31,382 --> 01:05:34,044 I never did get to the St. Regis. 862 01:05:34,118 --> 01:05:37,645 We were married in New York in his fabulous penthouse. 863 01:05:49,900 --> 01:05:53,199 Thank you, Timothy. 864 01:05:53,271 --> 01:05:55,205 Hello. 865 01:05:55,273 --> 01:05:59,539 Yes. Mm-hmm. 866 01:05:59,610 --> 01:06:02,545 Okay. 867 01:06:02,613 --> 01:06:05,104 I felt so safe at last. 868 01:06:05,182 --> 01:06:09,516 Rod had all the wealth and success he wanted long before he met me. 869 01:06:09,587 --> 01:06:12,954 I felt I couldn't possibly jinx his life. 870 01:06:15,026 --> 01:06:17,824 - Uh-huh. - As for the mysterious Melissa... 871 01:06:17,895 --> 01:06:20,420 I decided never to question him about it. 872 01:06:20,498 --> 01:06:22,989 I dismissed it from my life. 873 01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:32,337 A little trinket from Harry Winston's. 874 01:06:32,410 --> 01:06:35,937 As I look back on it now, our life together was like... 875 01:06:36,013 --> 01:06:41,645 one of those glamorous Hollywood movies all about love and what'll she wear next. 876 01:07:12,817 --> 01:07:15,809 Remind me to tell you later that I love you. 877 01:07:19,857 --> 01:07:22,223 I'll remind you if you'll remind me. 878 01:08:46,811 --> 01:08:49,644 - Louisa! - Hello, Doris. 879 01:08:49,713 --> 01:08:52,739 - Now, Louisa, you look divine. - Oh, Chester, thank you. 880 01:08:57,154 --> 01:09:01,056 - You remember Peter, don't you, darling? - Oh, but of course. 881 01:09:04,295 --> 01:09:06,957 We met at El Morocco the other evening. 882 01:09:07,031 --> 01:09:10,159 - You play beautifully. So nice of you to come. - Thank you. 883 01:09:10,234 --> 01:09:13,931 - That's a beautiful dress. - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 884 01:09:14,004 --> 01:09:19,772 It's my favorite... my very own favorite. 885 01:09:19,844 --> 01:09:21,778 I wanna talk to you. 886 01:09:21,846 --> 01:09:24,576 - What is it, dear? - You remind me to tell you later... 887 01:09:24,648 --> 01:09:26,843 that I love you. 888 01:09:26,917 --> 01:09:29,545 - Rod! - Nicky! 889 01:09:31,956 --> 01:09:33,947 Louisa! 890 01:09:36,994 --> 01:09:39,758 Louisa, darling, here is someone you simply must meet. 891 01:09:48,172 --> 01:09:51,107 - Darling, now you know Nicky Cathcart... - Wonderful to meet you. 892 01:09:51,175 --> 01:09:53,109 - Mrs. Cathcart. - How do you do? 893 01:09:53,177 --> 01:09:56,442 - Louisa. - I do hope the two of you can come down to us for a shoot. 894 01:09:56,513 --> 01:10:00,005 Mmm! Love to. We always get a bang out of a shoot. 895 01:10:01,719 --> 01:10:04,779 Remind me... to tell you... 896 01:10:04,855 --> 01:10:05,855 that... 897 01:10:05,923 --> 01:10:06,947 I... 898 01:10:07,024 --> 01:10:08,355 love... 899 01:10:08,425 --> 01:10:10,416 you. 900 01:10:26,710 --> 01:10:30,510 I'll remind you just as soon as I change my nightgown. 901 01:10:39,390 --> 01:10:41,881 Lord Kensington, Lady Kensington... 902 01:10:41,959 --> 01:10:43,893 may I present my wife, Louisa? 903 01:10:43,961 --> 01:10:45,895 - How do you do? - So nice. 904 01:10:45,963 --> 01:10:47,897 - Delighted. - How do you do? 905 01:10:47,965 --> 01:10:50,456 We're so happy you could fly in for the evening. 906 01:10:50,534 --> 01:10:55,233 - I hope the two of you can come down to the abbey this weekend. - Oh, we'd love to. 907 01:10:55,306 --> 01:10:58,241 Oh, but darling, I haven't a thing to wear. 908 01:11:01,845 --> 01:11:07,044 - I'm reminding you to remind me to tell you that I love you. - Thank you for reminding me. 909 01:11:08,118 --> 01:11:10,177 I'm reminding you... 910 01:11:10,254 --> 01:11:13,985 that you said to remind me to tell me that you love me. 911 01:11:14,058 --> 01:11:16,788 Thank you for reminding me. 912 01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:19,021 Thank you. 913 01:11:24,435 --> 01:11:27,700 - I love you. - I love you. 914 01:12:07,177 --> 01:12:11,170 - Why didn't he tell me before? - Hello, darling. I'm sorry I'm late. 915 01:12:11,248 --> 01:12:14,342 Well you tell him that he's through. This is total disaster. 916 01:12:14,418 --> 01:12:16,909 How could it possibly happen to me? 917 01:12:16,987 --> 01:12:19,080 - What happened? - Louisa... 918 01:12:19,156 --> 01:12:21,647 ever since we got married, I've been neglecting my business. 919 01:12:21,725 --> 01:12:26,424 I've been so much in love with you that I've paid no attention to it at all. I've let it slide. 920 01:12:26,497 --> 01:12:31,730 - Well, I've just been reading these business reports. - Are you faced with ruin? 921 01:12:31,802 --> 01:12:35,260 I am three times as rich as I was the day we got married. 922 01:12:35,339 --> 01:12:37,273 Oh, no! 923 01:12:37,341 --> 01:12:41,277 Nobody triples the business of Anderson Enterprises but Rod Anderson. 924 01:12:41,345 --> 01:12:43,643 Someone has been giving orders... 925 01:12:43,714 --> 01:12:46,649 somewhere, somebody in my organization. 926 01:12:46,717 --> 01:12:48,651 Why, that's absolute treachery. 927 01:12:48,719 --> 01:12:52,120 Someone's been giving orders behind my back! Imagine that? 928 01:12:52,189 --> 01:12:55,022 If I wanna lose a fortune, I'll lose a fortune. 929 01:12:55,092 --> 01:12:59,552 If I wanna triple it, I'll triple it... no one else. 930 01:12:59,630 --> 01:13:02,190 I'm gonna get to every one of my offices all over the world... 931 01:13:02,266 --> 01:13:05,292 and I'm gonna find out who's been running things behind my back. 932 01:13:05,369 --> 01:13:09,669 Triple it? How could he possibly triple it? Who can the guy be? 933 01:13:09,740 --> 01:13:13,699 You spend years training employees, executives, to serve you faithfully... 934 01:13:13,777 --> 01:13:17,304 and they stab you behind the back? 935 01:13:17,381 --> 01:13:20,976 That's loyalty for you. Willard? 936 01:13:21,051 --> 01:13:25,181 Willard, you make arrangements for trips to, uh, Sidney, Johannesburg... 937 01:13:25,255 --> 01:13:27,189 Hong Kong and Bombay. 938 01:13:27,257 --> 01:13:30,784 I'm looking for somebody, and I'm not coming back until I find them. 939 01:13:30,861 --> 01:13:33,261 I knew there was no man to look for. 940 01:13:33,330 --> 01:13:35,491 It was only me and my witch's curse. 941 01:13:37,234 --> 01:13:41,000 Sleep was impossible. Next morning, Rod would go out of my life forever... 942 01:13:41,071 --> 01:13:43,539 and meet his doom somewhere. 943 01:13:43,607 --> 01:13:47,771 I was terrified. I tried to think of a way to save him. 944 01:13:57,187 --> 01:14:01,487 "Melissa. Happy days on his uncle's farm." 945 01:14:01,558 --> 01:14:04,994 The simple life. 946 01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:21,409 - Moo. - Hmm? 947 01:14:21,478 --> 01:14:24,606 Moo. 948 01:14:24,681 --> 01:14:27,172 Melissa? 949 01:14:27,251 --> 01:14:32,382 Melissa. Mmm. 950 01:14:40,831 --> 01:14:43,629 We had a simple, modest little farm... 951 01:14:43,700 --> 01:14:46,897 two dozen leghorns for me to look after... 952 01:14:46,970 --> 01:14:51,771 and a cow named Melissa... Melissa II... and a bull named Melrose. 953 01:14:51,842 --> 01:14:54,936 Well, Ma, how do I look? 954 01:14:55,012 --> 01:14:56,946 The neighbors all say I look real fine. 955 01:14:57,014 --> 01:14:59,915 Wonderful, Pa. Real elegant. 956 01:14:59,983 --> 01:15:02,975 Have one more nip of our local cider. 957 01:15:03,053 --> 01:15:06,716 Well, it's my fourth, and I'm not a drinkin' man, but seein' as how it's welcomin' day... 958 01:15:06,790 --> 01:15:08,621 - here's to ya. - Hey, thank ya. 959 01:15:08,692 --> 01:15:12,287 Good day, Mr. Anderson. Good day, Mrs. Anderson. 960 01:15:12,362 --> 01:15:14,796 - Have another drink. - No, I'm drivin'. 961 01:15:18,368 --> 01:15:21,132 - We'll see you, Rod. - Come on. Get him up. 962 01:15:21,205 --> 01:15:24,072 - Come on. Let's get him to the wagon. - Come on. Let's go. 963 01:15:24,141 --> 01:15:26,075 No more. 964 01:15:29,713 --> 01:15:34,173 I'm sure glad I listened to you. 965 01:15:34,251 --> 01:15:36,310 This is our first day here, and already... 966 01:15:36,386 --> 01:15:39,412 I realize that this is what I always wanted to come back to. 967 01:15:39,489 --> 01:15:43,425 And you made me do it. 968 01:15:43,493 --> 01:15:46,121 Uh-oh. Feedin' time. 969 01:15:46,196 --> 01:15:50,257 I'll go feed Melissa, and you milk the chickens, huh? 970 01:15:50,334 --> 01:15:54,168 - I've been waitin' a lot of years for that. - Can't it wait till tomorrow? 971 01:15:54,238 --> 01:15:57,483 That shows how much you know about farmin'. You don't milk her now, and she'll be... 972 01:15:57,507 --> 01:15:59,805 mooin' all night long. 973 01:15:59,876 --> 01:16:01,867 Let's go. 974 01:16:14,124 --> 01:16:16,820 Hello, Melissa, baby. 975 01:16:16,893 --> 01:16:18,827 Oh, sw... 976 01:16:20,897 --> 01:16:23,331 How're you doing, honey? 977 01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:25,732 Just great, honey. 978 01:16:25,802 --> 01:16:29,033 'Atsa girl, Melissa, baby. Mmm. 979 01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:36,069 Whoa, baby. Whoa, Melissa. That's a girl. 980 01:16:38,215 --> 01:16:40,376 Melrose! 981 01:16:40,450 --> 01:16:42,384 Forgive me! 982 01:17:00,971 --> 01:17:04,065 "And all the rest of my holdings, cash and securities..." 983 01:17:04,141 --> 01:17:06,075 Several months after the funeral... 984 01:17:06,143 --> 01:17:09,078 I had to listen to the grim business details. 985 01:17:09,146 --> 01:17:13,515 Rod had sold out everything so quickly that his fortune was pitifully reduced. 986 01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:16,279 It came to a mere $150 million. 987 01:17:16,353 --> 01:17:21,882 I felt alone and lost, and I was determined to live alone for the rest of my life. 988 01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:25,951 It was the only fair thing to do. 989 01:17:47,818 --> 01:17:51,811 Isn't there any way of getting a cup of coffee here? 990 01:17:51,888 --> 01:17:55,517 ♪ Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪ 991 01:17:55,592 --> 01:17:57,253 What's your name, Miss? 992 01:17:57,327 --> 01:17:59,795 Uh, Louisa May Hop... 993 01:17:59,863 --> 01:18:01,797 Hop... 994 01:18:01,865 --> 01:18:05,961 Hop... Fli... Anderson. 995 01:18:06,036 --> 01:18:09,028 ♪ Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪ 996 01:18:09,106 --> 01:18:13,133 ♪ Asked Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson ♪ 997 01:18:13,210 --> 01:18:16,839 ♪ Pretty eyes, pretty hair And she asked so clear ♪ 998 01:18:16,913 --> 01:18:20,906 ♪ Isn't there any way of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪♪ 999 01:18:25,922 --> 01:18:28,584 Uh, Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson, huh? 1000 01:18:28,658 --> 01:18:30,785 That's a funny name. 1001 01:18:32,362 --> 01:18:35,058 It's just Anderson. 1002 01:18:36,133 --> 01:18:39,159 Uh, please stay, Miss Anderson. 1003 01:18:39,236 --> 01:18:41,727 I'll get you a cup of coffee. 1004 01:18:41,805 --> 01:18:45,138 Clancy must... must be out back somewhere. I'm in here all the time. 1005 01:18:46,209 --> 01:18:48,143 Say, uh... 1006 01:18:48,211 --> 01:18:50,543 I, uh... I hope you didn't think I was being fresh. 1007 01:18:50,614 --> 01:18:52,741 That's just part of my act, you know. 1008 01:18:52,816 --> 01:18:55,361 I get a list of the customers' names each night before the show... 1009 01:18:55,385 --> 01:18:58,548 and then I make up little rhymes using all their names. 1010 01:18:58,622 --> 01:19:01,420 It's one my specialties, that ad-lib stuff. 1011 01:19:01,491 --> 01:19:03,425 Coffee? 1012 01:19:03,493 --> 01:19:05,427 Sugar? 1013 01:19:05,495 --> 01:19:09,659 Danish? Serve the Danish. 1014 01:19:09,733 --> 01:19:12,531 And for a big finale, a napkin. 1015 01:19:12,602 --> 01:19:15,230 There's our Pinky. Always at it. 1016 01:19:15,305 --> 01:19:17,330 Pinky, ain't you ever off the floor? 1017 01:19:17,407 --> 01:19:19,466 Why, it's Herman Bodkin, I do declare... 1018 01:19:19,543 --> 01:19:22,068 and Ernie Wilkens who's with him there. 1019 01:19:22,145 --> 01:19:25,308 I said with a grin, "Ernie, your hair is gettin' thin," 1020 01:19:25,382 --> 01:19:28,909 and Ernie answered, "Who wants fat hair?" 1021 01:19:30,954 --> 01:19:35,254 - Ah, it's true. I, uh, never seem to stop being on. 1022 01:19:35,325 --> 01:19:38,192 Oh, I liked it. 1023 01:19:38,261 --> 01:19:40,661 You performing around here? 1024 01:19:40,730 --> 01:19:44,291 Am I performing around here? 1025 01:19:45,368 --> 01:19:47,495 Look. 1026 01:19:49,506 --> 01:19:51,940 That's me... Pinky Benson. 1027 01:19:53,009 --> 01:19:55,102 - Can I get you anything else? - Mm-mm. 1028 01:19:55,178 --> 01:19:58,079 - It's on me. - No, thank you. 1029 01:19:59,149 --> 01:20:01,083 - What's doin'? - I got it, Clance. 1030 01:20:01,151 --> 01:20:03,551 Thank you. 1031 01:20:03,620 --> 01:20:07,556 Say, uh, if you're not busy later, would you like to watch my act? 1032 01:20:08,959 --> 01:20:11,189 I hadn't decided what to do later. 1033 01:20:11,261 --> 01:20:15,220 I even thought of staying in this town for a few days till I made up my mind. 1034 01:20:15,298 --> 01:20:17,528 Well? 1035 01:20:19,669 --> 01:20:23,628 Well, uh... 1036 01:20:23,706 --> 01:20:26,106 - Well, sure. I'll come. - Good. 1037 01:20:26,175 --> 01:20:28,666 Um, I gotta kinda rush over there right now. 1038 01:20:28,745 --> 01:20:32,306 It takes me two hours for my props and to put on my costume and makeup. 1039 01:20:32,382 --> 01:20:35,010 Oh. Really? How's it going? 1040 01:20:35,084 --> 01:20:39,817 Well, the management must love me. I've been playing there for 14 years. 1041 01:20:42,292 --> 01:20:44,226 See you later. 1042 01:20:50,033 --> 01:20:52,297 Who ordered the well-done, green peas, succotash? 1043 01:20:52,368 --> 01:20:54,802 - Here. Over here. - Medium-well. 1044 01:20:54,871 --> 01:20:57,499 - Side of spinach. - Hey. I ordered the creamed spinach. 1045 01:20:57,574 --> 01:21:02,671 Ah, that's better for you. No cholesterol. Mashed potatoes, well-done. 1046 01:21:02,745 --> 01:21:07,079 - One rare, hashed brown! - I ordered French fries. Take it back! 1047 01:21:07,150 --> 01:21:09,710 - Ah, you always make such a fuss. - Ah, shut up! 1048 01:21:09,786 --> 01:21:15,554 I agree. But stuff yourself, honey. No man wants a fistful of bones. 1049 01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:20,892 - Okay! Okay! Here he is... for your dinner pleasure... 1050 01:21:20,964 --> 01:21:25,992 Jersey City's own uh-Pinky uh-Benson! 1051 01:21:31,975 --> 01:21:34,705 Well, good evening, friends and neighbors. 1052 01:21:34,777 --> 01:21:38,713 Hey, who do we have here with us tonight? The Shimkins. 1053 01:21:38,781 --> 01:21:43,878 Rosie Shimkin was able to get a ringside table. She's wearing a rose in her hat. 1054 01:21:43,953 --> 01:21:47,514 And with her is her husband, Matt. And that is that. 1055 01:21:47,590 --> 01:21:51,026 Dennis Horner is sittin' over there in the corner. Hiya, Dennis! 1056 01:21:51,094 --> 01:21:54,120 And Peggy Norton... Peggy Norton and her sister Min. 1057 01:21:54,197 --> 01:21:57,496 Chewin' on those bones like Rin Tin Tin. 1058 01:21:57,567 --> 01:22:00,434 So, welcome, all! Welcome, one. 1059 01:22:00,503 --> 01:22:03,631 Lend an ear and have some fun. 1060 01:22:03,706 --> 01:22:09,076 ♪ I think that you and I should get acquainted ♪ 1061 01:22:09,145 --> 01:22:12,876 - ♪ I'll just come up to you and ask your name ♪ - What I say is live... 1062 01:22:12,949 --> 01:22:16,749 - ♪ I'll tell you mine, and I'll say, Isn't the weather fine ♪ - and leave me alone. 1063 01:22:16,819 --> 01:22:21,313 ♪ And aren't you really glad so glad that you came ♪ 1064 01:22:21,391 --> 01:22:25,452 ♪ Then after you and I become acquainted ♪ 1065 01:22:25,528 --> 01:22:29,521 ♪ I'll ask you if you'd like to stay a while ♪ 1066 01:22:29,599 --> 01:22:33,365 ♪ You'll say you would You'll give me a smile ♪ 1067 01:22:33,436 --> 01:22:37,736 ♪ Oh, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile ♪ 1068 01:22:37,807 --> 01:22:41,743 ♪ Before our little rendezvous ends ♪ 1069 01:22:41,811 --> 01:22:45,303 ♪ We won't just be acquainted ♪ 1070 01:22:45,381 --> 01:22:49,408 ♪ We'll be the very very best of friends ♪♪ 1071 01:23:10,807 --> 01:23:15,141 - I could see why the management loved him. 1072 01:23:15,211 --> 01:23:20,148 He didn't interfere one bit with the sale of food and liquor. 1073 01:23:49,178 --> 01:23:52,409 It was the worst act I'd ever seen. 1074 01:23:52,482 --> 01:23:55,007 Just looking at Pinky made me want to cry. 1075 01:23:55,084 --> 01:23:57,314 But he was so happy and untroubled. 1076 01:23:57,386 --> 01:24:00,116 And I feel at home here, as you can see. 1077 01:24:00,189 --> 01:24:04,148 And in all the 14 years, you've never wanted to play anywhere else? 1078 01:24:04,227 --> 01:24:06,991 - Oh, you mean, uh, the big time? - Mm-hmm. 1079 01:24:07,063 --> 01:24:11,466 Boy, why does everybody seem to think you have to wanna play the big time? 1080 01:24:11,534 --> 01:24:13,968 Why? You get to the top of the ladder... 1081 01:24:14,036 --> 01:24:16,834 you're a slave to your fans, you got no life of your own. 1082 01:24:16,906 --> 01:24:20,808 Then you gotta start worryin' about staying up there. Oh, no. Not for me. 1083 01:24:20,877 --> 01:24:23,209 I'm happy doing what I'm doing. 1084 01:24:23,279 --> 01:24:26,248 And you know what? I teach dancing to kids in the daytime. 1085 01:24:26,315 --> 01:24:30,081 - That's nice. - Yeah. My, uh... My wife wanted me to get ahead. 1086 01:24:30,153 --> 01:24:34,419 She wanted me to get an agent, press agent, publicity, audition, push, push, push. 1087 01:24:34,490 --> 01:24:37,857 - Your wife? - Yeah. I was married once. We were... We were a team. 1088 01:24:37,927 --> 01:24:40,623 She always wanted to be way up there, so I let her go. 1089 01:24:40,696 --> 01:24:44,723 - And today that woman is Greta Garbo. 1090 01:24:44,801 --> 01:24:49,500 Nah. She married a guy with a lotta dough and she left the business. 1091 01:24:49,572 --> 01:24:52,200 I don't blame her. 1092 01:24:52,275 --> 01:24:54,470 I don't blame her at all. 1093 01:24:55,745 --> 01:24:59,875 I was just a guy who wanted the simple kinda life. 1094 01:25:02,351 --> 01:25:04,285 ♪ And that's the story of my life ♪ 1095 01:25:04,353 --> 01:25:07,880 ♪ As told to Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop ♪ 1096 01:25:07,957 --> 01:25:10,357 ♪ Hop-Fli-Anderson Boom Boom, Be-Doom Be-Doom ♪♪ 1097 01:25:12,728 --> 01:25:15,959 Oh. 1098 01:25:32,148 --> 01:25:36,448 Louisa May Hop-Fli-Anderson Benson. 1099 01:25:36,519 --> 01:25:38,885 Yes. We were married... happily married. 1100 01:25:38,955 --> 01:25:42,220 And we lived on our lovely houseboat on the Hudson. 1101 01:25:42,291 --> 01:25:44,953 I told him I had a great deal of money somewhere... 1102 01:25:45,027 --> 01:25:46,995 but both of us forgot all about it. 1103 01:25:47,063 --> 01:25:50,226 Ho! ♪ Good mornin', Mrs. Benson Good mornin' to you ♪ 1104 01:25:50,299 --> 01:25:52,927 ♪ Good mornin', Mrs. Benson How do you do ♪ 1105 01:25:53,002 --> 01:25:55,971 ♪ I'll give you just one kiss Then I'll stop ♪ 1106 01:25:56,038 --> 01:25:59,371 ♪ 'Cause I gotta give our little boat a mop, mop, mop ♪♪ 1107 01:26:04,714 --> 01:26:07,376 As I look back on it now... 1108 01:26:07,450 --> 01:26:10,283 our life together was like a gay musical number... 1109 01:26:10,353 --> 01:26:13,288 from one of those big, Hollywood movie musicals. 1110 01:26:13,356 --> 01:26:17,452 ♪ On our little houseboat ♪ 1111 01:26:17,526 --> 01:26:23,055 ♪ Built for two ♪ 1112 01:26:24,133 --> 01:26:28,092 ♪ Tiny little houseboat ♪ 1113 01:26:28,170 --> 01:26:32,106 ♪ Just for me ♪ 1114 01:26:32,174 --> 01:26:35,735 ♪ And you ♪ 1115 01:26:47,556 --> 01:26:52,289 ♪ All alone together ♪ 1116 01:26:52,361 --> 01:26:56,229 ♪ Only me ♪ 1117 01:26:56,299 --> 01:27:00,827 ♪ And yo-o-ou ♪ 1118 01:27:00,903 --> 01:27:06,864 ♪ My Darling ♪ 1119 01:27:06,943 --> 01:27:10,743 ♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson Alone, alone together ♪ 1120 01:27:10,813 --> 01:27:14,476 ♪ Life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather ♪ 1121 01:27:14,550 --> 01:27:18,077 ♪ Far from city streets and far from hills of heather ♪ 1122 01:27:18,154 --> 01:27:21,453 ♪ Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time ♪ 1123 01:27:21,524 --> 01:27:23,685 ♪ Well, heigh-ho, let's go ♪ 1124 01:27:23,759 --> 01:27:25,693 ♪ Life is just a vaudeville show ♪ 1125 01:27:25,761 --> 01:27:27,695 - ♪ Sing and dance ♪ - ♪Take a chance ♪ 1126 01:28:31,627 --> 01:28:35,188 ♪ All alone together ♪ 1127 01:28:35,264 --> 01:28:38,529 ♪ Only me ♪ 1128 01:28:38,601 --> 01:28:41,729 - ♪And you ♪ ♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone ♪ 1129 01:28:41,804 --> 01:28:46,605 ♪ Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather ♪ 1130 01:28:46,675 --> 01:28:50,111 ♪ Far from city streets and far from hills of heather ♪ 1131 01:28:50,179 --> 01:28:53,637 ♪ Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time ♪ 1132 01:28:53,716 --> 01:28:58,483 ♪ Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the time ♪ 1133 01:30:04,720 --> 01:30:07,211 ♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone ♪ 1134 01:30:07,289 --> 01:30:11,555 ♪ Alone together, life is rosy on the Hudson in any brand of weather ♪ 1135 01:30:11,627 --> 01:30:15,324 ♪ Far from city streets and far from hills of heather ♪ 1136 01:30:15,397 --> 01:30:20,357 ♪ Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the ♪ 1137 01:30:20,436 --> 01:30:23,599 ♪ Time ♪ 1138 01:30:23,672 --> 01:30:27,335 ♪ Oh, anchors aweigh and hit the deck, Louisa ♪ 1139 01:30:27,409 --> 01:30:30,970 ♪ It's ship ahoy We're on the town with you ♪ 1140 01:30:31,046 --> 01:30:34,812 ♪ You follow the fleet and tars and spars, Louisa ♪ 1141 01:30:34,884 --> 01:30:38,513 ♪ For us you are the captain and the crew ♪ 1142 01:30:46,262 --> 01:30:49,891 ♪ Oh, how we love Louisa ♪ 1143 01:30:49,965 --> 01:30:53,366 ♪ Oh, how we love Louisa ♪ 1144 01:30:53,435 --> 01:30:59,396 ♪ She's sent from heaven up above ♪ 1145 01:31:00,476 --> 01:31:03,934 ♪ Just like the tower of Pisa ♪ 1146 01:31:04,013 --> 01:31:06,948 ♪ There's only one Louisa ♪ 1147 01:31:07,016 --> 01:31:10,713 ♪ L-O ♪ 1148 01:31:10,786 --> 01:31:14,222 ♪ V-E ♪ 1149 01:31:14,290 --> 01:31:19,455 ♪ Love ♪♪ 1150 01:31:27,169 --> 01:31:30,229 Love. 1151 01:31:30,339 --> 01:31:33,502 Then it began to happen. 1152 01:31:33,576 --> 01:31:37,740 We were planning a birthday party for Pinky after the last show. 1153 01:31:37,813 --> 01:31:40,782 Well, I guess we got everything: the hot dogs, the rolls, and... 1154 01:31:40,849 --> 01:31:43,818 - Hey! Look at the clock. I gotta get made up. - Oh, you've got time. 1155 01:31:43,886 --> 01:31:46,320 No. I don't. I have less than two hours. 1156 01:31:46,388 --> 01:31:50,188 It takes you two hours to get out of that makeup. You'll be late for your party. 1157 01:31:50,259 --> 01:31:53,717 - Couldn't you just skip it? - Skip the performance? 1158 01:31:53,796 --> 01:31:56,765 No. Skip the makeup, I mean. Do it just as you are. 1159 01:31:56,832 --> 01:31:58,944 Oh, don't be silly, darling. The makeup's the whole act. 1160 01:31:58,968 --> 01:32:01,163 - Here's the bucket of lemonade, Pinky. - Thank you. 1161 01:32:01,237 --> 01:32:05,333 Thank you. Mr. Trentino, because of the party... 1162 01:32:05,407 --> 01:32:09,639 would it be all right if... if Pinky went on tonight without putting on all his stuff? 1163 01:32:09,712 --> 01:32:13,375 Sure! You don't wanna miss your own birthday party. 1164 01:32:13,449 --> 01:32:16,077 - Okay, honey? - Oh, uh... 1165 01:32:16,151 --> 01:32:18,847 I'll feel... I'll feel naked. I... 1166 01:32:18,921 --> 01:32:21,583 Well, leave out the verses too. 1167 01:32:21,657 --> 01:32:24,319 Leave out the verses? 1168 01:32:24,393 --> 01:32:26,327 Just this once. 1169 01:32:28,530 --> 01:32:32,728 Well, all right, on account of the party, but... 1170 01:32:32,801 --> 01:32:35,133 I feel funny. I... 1171 01:32:35,204 --> 01:32:37,934 I'm gonna lay an awful egg. 1172 01:32:38,007 --> 01:32:39,985 - And now for your enjoyment... - Who ordered the well-done... 1173 01:32:40,009 --> 01:32:43,001 - New Jersey's own ha-ha boy... - green peas, succotash? 1174 01:32:43,078 --> 01:32:45,569 - Uh-Pinky uh-Benson! - Let's get outta here. 1175 01:32:45,648 --> 01:32:48,640 Waiter, check! 1176 01:32:51,120 --> 01:32:55,318 Well, I... 1177 01:32:55,391 --> 01:32:57,621 Frankie dropped him in the second... 1178 01:32:57,693 --> 01:32:59,991 - because I said, "Hey..." - It was the fifth. 1179 01:33:00,062 --> 01:33:02,895 - I was there. - Mr. Trentino, may we have some relish? 1180 01:33:02,965 --> 01:33:04,899 Sure. Help yourself. 1181 01:33:04,967 --> 01:33:08,664 - One rare, hashed brown. - I ordered French fries! 1182 01:33:13,609 --> 01:33:18,740 - ♪ I think that you and I should get acquainted ♪ - Who ordered the well-done? 1183 01:33:18,814 --> 01:33:23,274 ♪ I'll just come up to you and ask your name ♪ 1184 01:33:23,352 --> 01:33:28,483 ♪ I'll tell you mine, I'll say isn't the weather fine ♪ 1185 01:33:28,557 --> 01:33:34,018 - ♪And aren't you really glad so glad that you came ♪ 1186 01:33:34,096 --> 01:33:39,432 - ♪Then after you and I become acquainted ♪ 1187 01:33:39,501 --> 01:33:41,992 ♪ I'll ask you if you'd like to stay ♪ 1188 01:33:42,071 --> 01:33:44,699 - #A while # - Hey, doc. 1189 01:33:44,773 --> 01:33:47,071 - Who do you got... Sh! - ♪You'll say you would ♪ 1190 01:33:47,142 --> 01:33:49,076 ♪ You'll give me a smile ♪ 1191 01:33:49,144 --> 01:33:54,844 ♪ Aw, goody-good You'll make my evenin' worthwhile ♪ 1192 01:33:54,917 --> 01:34:00,082 ♪ And before our little rendezvous ends ♪ 1193 01:34:00,155 --> 01:34:04,717 ♪ We won't be just acquainted ♪ 1194 01:34:04,793 --> 01:34:09,890 ♪ We'll be the very very best of friends ♪♪ 1195 01:35:12,693 --> 01:35:14,786 Bravo! Bravo! 1196 01:35:16,564 --> 01:35:18,555 Bravo! 1197 01:35:42,056 --> 01:35:46,288 ♪ I think that you and I should get acquainted ♪♪ 1198 01:35:49,063 --> 01:35:51,031 I've grown accustomed to this place. 1199 01:35:58,239 --> 01:36:00,867 What! Caesar! 1200 01:36:00,942 --> 01:36:03,240 - Cut. Print. - Magnificent, Pinky. 1201 01:36:03,311 --> 01:36:06,940 - Wonderful, Pinky. - Magnificent. I'll never direct a better actor. 1202 01:36:07,014 --> 01:36:11,144 - And to think they wanted to put that Welshman in the part. 1203 01:36:18,326 --> 01:36:20,487 Well, I was still near water... 1204 01:36:20,561 --> 01:36:23,689 sitting by our beautiful Hollywood pool alone. 1205 01:36:23,764 --> 01:36:26,392 I had done it again, and I had lost Pinky... 1206 01:36:26,467 --> 01:36:30,528 lost him to fame, fortune, his agents, publicity men, secretaries... 1207 01:36:30,605 --> 01:36:32,664 and his adoring fans. 1208 01:36:32,740 --> 01:36:35,641 How about my preview in Westwood last night, huh? 1209 01:36:35,710 --> 01:36:38,042 - What a gas. - Sure was, Pinky. 1210 01:36:38,112 --> 01:36:42,344 All those Pinky Benson fans screaming, yelling, crying... 1211 01:36:42,416 --> 01:36:46,853 Ah-ha. The little people. I love 'em. I love 'em. 1212 01:36:46,921 --> 01:36:49,481 And if the studio tries to cut one minute of that film... 1213 01:36:49,557 --> 01:36:52,754 I'm gonna burn that nuthouse to the ground. 1214 01:36:52,827 --> 01:36:56,354 Five and a half hours is not too long for a Pinky Benson fan. 1215 01:36:56,430 --> 01:36:58,398 Yes, Mr. Benson. 1216 01:36:58,466 --> 01:37:02,334 Now, about the premiere. Everybody on the ball. See? 1217 01:37:04,105 --> 01:37:06,039 Hi, Louisa. 1218 01:37:06,107 --> 01:37:09,440 Hi, Pinky. Going in for a dip? 1219 01:37:09,510 --> 01:37:11,501 No. I'm goin' to Brown Derby. 1220 01:37:11,579 --> 01:37:13,604 I got a business luncheon with these creeps. 1221 01:37:13,681 --> 01:37:16,673 - Ciao, baby. - Ain't you gonna change? 1222 01:37:16,751 --> 01:37:20,312 - What for? - You know you can't get in the Derby without a tie on. 1223 01:37:20,388 --> 01:37:23,186 Geez. 1224 01:37:23,257 --> 01:37:26,715 And Pinky, after lunch you gotta tape a speech to send to Jersey City. 1225 01:37:26,794 --> 01:37:29,820 - Yeah, you told me. What's it for? - Pinky Benson Day. 1226 01:37:29,897 --> 01:37:31,888 Big ceremony in your honor. 1227 01:37:31,966 --> 01:37:36,733 Citizens are getting together to paint the front of the house you were born in in pink. 1228 01:37:36,804 --> 01:37:39,068 Yeah? 1229 01:37:39,140 --> 01:37:42,632 Gee. That's kinda sweet. 1230 01:37:42,710 --> 01:37:47,477 - I wonder who thought o' that? - I did. 1231 01:37:47,548 --> 01:37:51,279 Yeah? Well, here's an idea from me. What's the matter with this place? 1232 01:37:51,352 --> 01:37:53,946 The fans in the busses go by here every afternoon. 1233 01:37:54,021 --> 01:37:57,457 Let's let 'em know without a doubt which house is Pinky's house! 1234 01:38:50,211 --> 01:38:53,271 Yes. Yes, it is! Pinky Benson. 1235 01:38:53,347 --> 01:38:56,805 He's arriving in his famous, all-pink Rolls-Royce. 1236 01:38:56,884 --> 01:38:59,182 Oh, I've never seen anything like this. 1237 01:38:59,253 --> 01:39:03,019 I've covered the biggest of all premieres: Ben-Hur, Cleopatra. 1238 01:39:03,090 --> 01:39:06,651 But this, Flaming Lips... this is the biggest of them all. 1239 01:39:06,727 --> 01:39:09,628 All the greats in show business are here tonight... 1240 01:39:09,697 --> 01:39:11,892 the great and the near-great... 1241 01:39:11,966 --> 01:39:14,526 and all the little people... 1242 01:39:14,602 --> 01:39:18,038 awaiting the premiere of Flaming Lips. 1243 01:39:18,105 --> 01:39:24,066 Mrs. Pinky Benson seems to be wearing a pink... all-pink chinchilla coat. 1244 01:39:24,145 --> 01:39:27,911 Now he's introducing Mrs. Pinky Benson to the crowd. 1245 01:39:27,982 --> 01:39:30,473 Oh, this is fabulous. 1246 01:39:35,890 --> 01:39:39,621 The crowd is roaring so much. I hope you can hear me, ladies and gentlemen. 1247 01:39:39,694 --> 01:39:41,685 I have never seen a premiere like this. 1248 01:39:41,762 --> 01:39:44,253 And now they're going into the theater, as Pinky Benson... 1249 01:39:44,331 --> 01:39:46,731 Tonight, in Flaming Lips, Pinky Benson proved... 1250 01:39:46,801 --> 01:39:49,998 that a comedy can run five and a half hours. 1251 01:39:50,071 --> 01:39:54,337 Earlier today, Pinky told us his next film will run seven and a half hours. 1252 01:39:54,408 --> 01:39:56,753 - Listen to that applause! - Oh, Pinky, baby, you were right. 1253 01:39:56,777 --> 01:39:59,473 - This is a gas! - This is the greatest thing you've ever done. 1254 01:39:59,547 --> 01:40:02,243 I don't ever want to direct another actor for the rest of my life. 1255 01:40:02,316 --> 01:40:05,911 Thank you, pal. Let's get rid of that creep. I'll direct the next one myself. 1256 01:40:05,986 --> 01:40:08,978 This picture is a cinch to do 50 million at the box office. 1257 01:40:09,056 --> 01:40:11,081 - Yeah. Too bad I only get half of that. - Yeah. 1258 01:40:11,158 --> 01:40:14,252 And the studio wants you to co-star with Frank, Marlon and Cary... 1259 01:40:14,328 --> 01:40:16,796 - in a remake of The Four Horsemen. - Well! 1260 01:40:16,864 --> 01:40:20,766 - Why should I carry those deadweights? I'll play all four. - We want Pinky! 1261 01:40:20,835 --> 01:40:23,475 - And he can do it too. - Let's get out of here. The mob is coming. 1262 01:40:23,537 --> 01:40:28,133 - Break it up. Break it up. Everybody outta the way. - We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1263 01:40:28,209 --> 01:40:31,110 Mr. Benson, you was divine! 1264 01:40:31,178 --> 01:40:35,979 - Just divine! - And now, coming to our cameras, the co-star of Flaming Lips... 1265 01:40:36,050 --> 01:40:39,577 Miss Linda Putty... another Pinky Benson discovery. 1266 01:40:39,653 --> 01:40:44,022 Making new discoveries is the basis of our industry. 1267 01:40:44,091 --> 01:40:46,025 And now, coming to our microphone... 1268 01:40:46,093 --> 01:40:51,190 here she is, Mrs. Pinky Benson. 1269 01:40:51,265 --> 01:40:53,995 My wife has always been my inspiration. 1270 01:40:54,068 --> 01:40:56,059 Pinky, we'll never get out the front way. 1271 01:40:56,137 --> 01:40:59,732 - Why don't you just slip out the side way, darling? - Yes. I guess so. But I... 1272 01:40:59,807 --> 01:41:01,741 I hate to do this to them. 1273 01:41:01,809 --> 01:41:04,004 After all, I'm what they came to see. 1274 01:41:04,078 --> 01:41:07,309 - Yeah. We know. Come on. This way. - Let's go, Pinky. That's all. 1275 01:41:07,381 --> 01:41:11,147 We want Pinky! We want Pinky! 1276 01:41:11,218 --> 01:41:17,179 The little people. I love 'em. Love 'em. 1277 01:41:22,329 --> 01:41:25,059 Ah, bless 'em. I can't let 'em down. 1278 01:41:25,132 --> 01:41:28,295 After all, I'm the stuff their dreams are made of. 1279 01:41:28,369 --> 01:41:31,065 I belong to them. 1280 01:41:31,138 --> 01:41:33,902 Hey, fellas. Fellas! 1281 01:41:33,974 --> 01:41:38,502 Look who's here. It's me. It's your Pinky! 1282 01:41:39,580 --> 01:41:41,878 Look! It's Pinky! 1283 01:41:41,949 --> 01:41:46,648 Pinky! Pinky! 1284 01:42:33,834 --> 01:42:37,099 Ah, yes, Miss Benson. I know. I know. 1285 01:42:37,171 --> 01:42:40,800 But it's "Willsville Time in Dixie," and we've gotta face the facts... 1286 01:42:40,875 --> 01:42:42,809 death wise, that is. 1287 01:42:42,877 --> 01:42:46,779 So I'm gonna give it to you short and sweet. You get all the moo. All of it. 1288 01:42:46,847 --> 01:42:48,781 But there's one catch. 1289 01:42:50,684 --> 01:42:55,553 "And so I order to be built the Pinky Benson Memorial Museum, dedicated to my fans... 1290 01:42:55,623 --> 01:42:59,252 "and within it will be preserved all my dancing shoes dipped in bronze... 1291 01:42:59,326 --> 01:43:02,090 "and a giant gold replica of my larynx. 1292 01:43:02,162 --> 01:43:04,926 "A permanent, pink light will burn before my statue... 1293 01:43:04,999 --> 01:43:10,027 "and in the 15,000-seat auditorium, my pictures will run 24 hours a day. 1294 01:43:10,104 --> 01:43:14,632 Everything else I bequeath to my wife, Louisa May Benson." 1295 01:43:16,243 --> 01:43:17,972 Pinky was right. 1296 01:43:18,045 --> 01:43:20,172 He did belong to his fans... 1297 01:43:20,247 --> 01:43:22,477 forever. 1298 01:43:22,549 --> 01:43:25,780 He was such a sweet man when I met him. 1299 01:43:25,853 --> 01:43:29,482 - And then came... - Well, that's all. 1300 01:43:29,556 --> 01:43:32,719 Why? Isn't that enough? 1301 01:43:32,793 --> 01:43:34,920 Oh, I was left with another $30 million... 1302 01:43:34,995 --> 01:43:39,591 and I flew right here to Washington and that brings us up to date. 1303 01:43:39,667 --> 01:43:43,626 And I'm gonna give that money away. The government's not gonna stop me either, and neither are you. 1304 01:43:44,638 --> 01:43:47,266 Please answer my question, Dr. Steffanson. 1305 01:43:47,341 --> 01:43:50,777 Am I a witch, or am I not? 1306 01:43:54,014 --> 01:43:57,814 Well, you haven't said anything for the last two husbands. 1307 01:44:01,989 --> 01:44:05,618 - Well, you're not even listening to me. - Uh, who? Uh, what? 1308 01:44:05,693 --> 01:44:08,025 - Well, you're an analyst! - Huh? 1309 01:44:08,095 --> 01:44:10,757 - Analyze! - Oh, that. Yes. 1310 01:44:10,831 --> 01:44:13,356 Uh, now, let me see. Um, you... you got married... 1311 01:44:13,434 --> 01:44:16,335 to four men for love, mm-hmm? 1312 01:44:16,403 --> 01:44:18,598 All of them were doomed to success and extinction. 1313 01:44:18,672 --> 01:44:21,698 There was Hopper, Flint, Anderson and... and Benson. 1314 01:44:21,775 --> 01:44:25,438 And one man... one man you hated. That was Leonard Crawley. 1315 01:44:25,512 --> 01:44:28,003 Well, that's a very strong emotion, hate. 1316 01:44:28,082 --> 01:44:30,448 Say, you... I think, for... 1317 01:44:30,517 --> 01:44:33,384 Wait a minute. What do you expect of me? Instant analysis? 1318 01:44:33,454 --> 01:44:37,083 Why-Why your case might take 24 hours a day for the next 50 years. 1319 01:44:37,157 --> 01:44:39,717 In other words, Louisa... 1320 01:44:40,794 --> 01:44:43,888 would you marry me? 1321 01:44:43,964 --> 01:44:47,627 - Dr. Steffanson... - If it's simplicity you want, you should see my apartment. 1322 01:44:47,701 --> 01:44:52,104 I'm a dedicated man of science, and I'm so tired washing out my own socks. 1323 01:44:52,172 --> 01:44:54,106 What do you say, Louisa? 1324 01:44:54,174 --> 01:45:00,135 - Victor, I'm honored that you'd risk your life for me. - Thank you. 1325 01:45:00,214 --> 01:45:03,706 But it isn't fair. I simply don't love you. 1326 01:45:03,784 --> 01:45:05,752 No? 1327 01:45:05,819 --> 01:45:09,721 But would you mail my check in for me anyway? 1328 01:45:09,790 --> 01:45:11,985 Oh, please don't feel so bad. 1329 01:45:12,059 --> 01:45:14,357 Maybe you helped me after all. 1330 01:45:14,428 --> 01:45:18,296 I said "yes" to four men and I said "no" to you. Isn't that progress? 1331 01:45:18,365 --> 01:45:20,299 Of a sorts, I guess. 1332 01:45:20,367 --> 01:45:23,666 You see, after listening to my accumulated life story... 1333 01:45:23,737 --> 01:45:26,501 you naturally assumed that I'd say "yes." 1334 01:45:26,573 --> 01:45:29,269 But you were wrong. 1335 01:45:29,343 --> 01:45:31,334 - Wrong? - Yes. 1336 01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:34,142 I was wrong. 1337 01:45:34,214 --> 01:45:38,207 I... I have the strangest... tingling sensation in my... 1338 01:45:40,487 --> 01:45:43,081 Dr. Stef... Victor, are you all right? 1339 01:45:43,157 --> 01:45:45,250 Wake up, Doctor! Oh, dear. 1340 01:45:45,325 --> 01:45:48,385 How do I get... I've got to... Oh! 1341 01:45:48,462 --> 01:45:51,158 - Oh, please help me. - Oh, excuse me. I, uh... 1342 01:45:51,231 --> 01:45:54,826 Would you please press that button and let this thing down? 1343 01:45:54,902 --> 01:45:57,336 Dr. Steffanson. 1344 01:46:09,550 --> 01:46:12,951 Ma'am, I... What? Louisa? 1345 01:46:14,088 --> 01:46:17,023 - Leonard Crawley! - Mm. 1346 01:46:17,091 --> 01:46:19,525 What happened to the doctor? 1347 01:46:19,593 --> 01:46:22,323 Uh, he fell off. 1348 01:46:22,396 --> 01:46:24,330 Well, he always does. 1349 01:46:24,398 --> 01:46:28,101 Dr. Steffanson. 1350 01:46:30,770 --> 01:46:34,262 Doctor? Doctor. 1351 01:46:35,608 --> 01:46:38,076 - Leonard. - Hmm? 1352 01:46:38,144 --> 01:46:40,078 - You're the custodian here. - What? 1353 01:46:40,146 --> 01:46:43,172 Now, look, Louisa, let's call a spade a spade. 1354 01:46:43,249 --> 01:46:46,412 - I'm the janitor here. - Oh, how awful! 1355 01:46:46,486 --> 01:46:50,820 Oh, no, no, no. I deserved it. You know..."poetic justice" it's called. 1356 01:46:50,890 --> 01:46:54,621 - But in a way, I ruined your life too. - Oh, no. You made it. 1357 01:46:54,694 --> 01:46:58,994 In fact, you know, when I lost everything, I just began to live. 1358 01:46:59,065 --> 01:47:01,363 And... And I'll always be grateful to you... 1359 01:47:01,434 --> 01:47:03,994 and your friend. 1360 01:47:04,070 --> 01:47:06,903 - Thoreau! - Mm-hmm. He said, "Simplify." 1361 01:47:06,973 --> 01:47:09,965 And you can't get much more simpler than bein' a janitor. 1362 01:47:11,577 --> 01:47:13,511 - Leonard. - Mm-hmm? 1363 01:47:13,579 --> 01:47:16,480 You're the only man in the world I ever really hated. 1364 01:47:17,550 --> 01:47:20,018 Hate's a very strong emotion, you know? 1365 01:47:20,086 --> 01:47:23,613 But I think the thing I hated most was that I knew... 1366 01:47:23,689 --> 01:47:26,214 that deep down, under that small-town emperor... 1367 01:47:26,292 --> 01:47:29,352 there was a human being that I wanted to know... 1368 01:47:29,428 --> 01:47:31,919 and you wouldn't let come out. 1369 01:47:55,788 --> 01:47:57,722 Leonard, lunch! 1370 01:47:57,790 --> 01:48:01,226 - Hey, Mom. - All right, honey. Now, you spread these around. 1371 01:48:01,294 --> 01:48:03,785 Jonathan, lunch! 1372 01:48:06,199 --> 01:48:09,168 Hey. Look, Mom. Look what I caught. 1373 01:48:09,235 --> 01:48:12,227 - Sharks! - Well. Wonderful. We'll have these for dinner. 1374 01:48:12,305 --> 01:48:14,239 Now, help your brother. 1375 01:48:14,307 --> 01:48:18,300 Geraldine, lunch, honey! 1376 01:48:19,779 --> 01:48:24,944 - Now, don't you drop this. - What do you think I am, a baby? 1377 01:48:25,017 --> 01:48:29,954 All right. All right. Help is on the way. 1378 01:48:35,094 --> 01:48:37,790 - Here's the chair, Mom. - Okay. 1379 01:48:37,863 --> 01:48:42,562 - All right, children. You can start your milk now. - Aren't we gonna wait for Daddy? 1380 01:48:42,635 --> 01:48:45,798 Nope. Daddy's finishing the plowing he started this morning. 1381 01:48:50,743 --> 01:48:55,476 - And the princess had four beautiful children: 1382 01:48:55,548 --> 01:49:01,509 Leonard and Jonathan and Geraldine and Butch. 1383 01:49:01,587 --> 01:49:05,614 And they all lived happily ever after. 1384 01:49:30,449 --> 01:49:32,383 Louisa! 1385 01:49:32,451 --> 01:49:34,510 Louisa! 1386 01:49:34,587 --> 01:49:37,613 It's oil! It's oil! 1387 01:49:37,690 --> 01:49:42,354 Louisa! Look! It's oil. It's oil! Look at it. 1388 01:49:44,363 --> 01:49:47,821 It... can't be happening. It can't be true. 1389 01:49:47,900 --> 01:49:50,130 It can't be happening! 1390 01:49:50,202 --> 01:49:56,038 But it is, Louisa. It's real. 1391 01:49:56,108 --> 01:49:58,906 Hey! Look at this. It's real! It's oil! 1392 01:49:58,978 --> 01:50:00,912 You bet it's real. And it's ours! 1393 01:50:00,980 --> 01:50:03,141 - Yours? - Yes, you idiot! It belongs to us. 1394 01:50:03,215 --> 01:50:06,048 You punched a hole in our pipeline. 1395 01:50:06,118 --> 01:50:08,416 - It's not ours? - No. It's ours! 1396 01:50:15,461 --> 01:50:19,397 My wonderful, wonderful failure. 118445

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