Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:03:50,952 --> 00:03:53,386
$17.52.
2
00:03:53,455 --> 00:03:55,719
That settles my back taxes
for '59 and '60.
3
00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:58,385
- That does it.
- Gougers, all of you.
4
00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:02,055
- Gougers!
- Don't tell it to me. I make 60 bucks a week here.
5
00:04:04,132 --> 00:04:06,293
- Go ahead, lady. I can wait.
- Oh, thank you.
6
00:04:07,336 --> 00:04:09,600
Is this where you give the money in?
7
00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,907
Excuse me.
Is this where you give the money in?
8
00:04:17,713 --> 00:04:20,841
Let me see your form, miss.
9
00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:24,977
I mean, did you make out a form?
I mean, where are your papers?
10
00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:29,183
Oh. This is the only paper
that I thought was necessary.
11
00:04:29,257 --> 00:04:33,853
Oh, I can't take your check
without the regular 1040 form.
12
00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:37,695
It's to be sure it's the correct amount
according to your return.
13
00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:40,394
Well, this isn't according
to any return. It's just money.
14
00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:42,403
I wanna give it to the government.
15
00:04:42,471 --> 00:04:44,405
Well, this is very irregular.
16
00:04:44,473 --> 00:04:48,170
First of all, this is the Department
of Internal Revenue and...
17
00:05:00,789 --> 00:05:02,723
Oh, I get it.
18
00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:04,952
April fool. Next!
19
00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:07,051
- No, please.
- Next!
20
00:05:13,568 --> 00:05:15,729
And... And I went to see
the head clerk...
21
00:05:15,804 --> 00:05:19,501
and then the assistant
to the Secretary of Treasury...
22
00:05:19,574 --> 00:05:22,168
and then the Secretary of Treasury...
23
00:05:22,244 --> 00:05:24,178
but...
24
00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:27,511
but when I insisted
on seeing the president...
25
00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:30,813
they insisted I come to see you!
26
00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,820
Dr. Svenson...
27
00:05:32,888 --> 00:05:35,015
do you think I'm crazy too?
28
00:05:37,592 --> 00:05:40,060
The... The name is "Steffanson"...
29
00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:42,187
Victor Steffanson...
30
00:05:42,264 --> 00:05:45,233
and, um... and we never
use that word around here.
31
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:50,033
Now, Mrs. Benson, you just take
one of these and try to relax. Here.
32
00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:52,039
You know, Mrs...
33
00:05:52,107 --> 00:05:54,871
Aaah! Pink!
34
00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:56,672
Pink. They're pink pills!
35
00:05:56,745 --> 00:06:00,442
- My husband was pink! I can't take a pink pill!
- Ju-Just crunch it.
36
00:06:00,515 --> 00:06:04,781
Crunch it right down.
Th-That's right. That's right.
37
00:06:10,592 --> 00:06:13,993
Uh, Mrs. Benson...
38
00:06:14,062 --> 00:06:17,896
you are obviously the victim
of some inner disturbance...
39
00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:20,332
in which, well,
for the want of a better word...
40
00:06:20,402 --> 00:06:23,838
your guilts have led you
to a state of fantasy...
41
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,998
in which, um, "A,"
42
00:06:26,074 --> 00:06:29,339
you are burdened
with some fantastic wealth...
43
00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:32,505
and... and "B," you are eager
to rid yourself of it...
44
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:37,348
as in the ancient ritual of exorcising
some dybbuk or, uh, evil spirit.
45
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:40,513
- Now, now, now, now.
Now, this is normal.
46
00:06:40,589 --> 00:06:43,023
Excuse me.
47
00:06:46,428 --> 00:06:48,362
Yes. Please don't...
What?
48
00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:50,364
Oh, yes.
Put him on, please.
49
00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:53,128
Oh, hello, Fred. Uh-huh.
You investigated. And?
50
00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:58,639
F-Fred.
Th-The check is good?
51
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:04,468
Uh-huh. Yes.
52
00:07:04,546 --> 00:07:06,480
Uh-huh.
Thank you, Fred.
53
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:12,714
I have the strangest
tingling sensation in my...
54
00:07:12,787 --> 00:07:14,778
my toes.
55
00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:18,920
Are you all right?
56
00:07:18,994 --> 00:07:21,428
What?
57
00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:25,432
- Uh, w-what happened?
- Well, "A," you fainted and "B," I poured water on you.
58
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,196
I'm terribly sorry,
but I didn't know what else to do.
59
00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:32,331
No, it-it's all right.
You did the right thing.
60
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,500
Um, do you faint often?
61
00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:36,669
Oh, just once in a while.
62
00:07:36,745 --> 00:07:40,806
It's the shock of realization whenever
I've been dead wrong about something.
63
00:07:40,882 --> 00:07:43,544
The fainting is, um, running away,
as it were...
64
00:07:43,618 --> 00:07:45,848
from the reality that I'm not...
65
00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,685
I'm not infallible.
66
00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:52,193
Y-You see,
it's been the pattern of my life...
67
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,751
from the time I was a...
68
00:07:54,829 --> 00:07:57,229
Wait a minute.
What is this?
69
00:07:57,299 --> 00:08:00,632
Who's doing what to who...
or whom?
70
00:08:00,702 --> 00:08:03,762
Mrs. Benson,
you are a young woman...
71
00:08:03,838 --> 00:08:08,537
who is apparently worth
in the neighborhood of... $200 million!
72
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,477
And for some incredible reason,
you wanna give it to the government!
73
00:08:11,546 --> 00:08:15,004
Y-You don't need a psychiatrist.
You need your head examined.
74
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:17,313
- Now, out of my office! Out!
- No, Dr. Steffanson.
75
00:08:17,385 --> 00:08:19,530
- Out of my office!
- You said something a minute ago...
76
00:08:19,554 --> 00:08:21,818
that was very understanding and true.
77
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:25,826
I never heard it expressed before.
But I want your help.
78
00:08:25,894 --> 00:08:28,055
- Mrs...
- Oh, please!
79
00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:30,097
Ah, yes.
80
00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:34,329
Yes, the oath I took forbids me
to turn away from a cry for help.
81
00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:36,336
S-Sit down, Mrs. Benson.
82
00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:42,499
Oh! It was what you said about
my wanting to get rid of my money...
83
00:08:42,577 --> 00:08:44,841
like exorcising some evil spirit.
84
00:08:44,913 --> 00:08:47,006
- Ah, yes.
- Dr. Steffanson.
85
00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:50,017
- Mm-hmm?
- I think I may be some kind of a witch.
86
00:08:50,085 --> 00:08:52,019
Oh-ho-ho. Come, come now,
Mrs. Benson.
87
00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:54,180
This is the 19th centur...
er, uh, 20th century.
88
00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:58,749
No! Really!
Every man whose life I touch withers.
89
00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:02,686
Really?
Uh, Mrs...
90
00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:08,067
Mrs. Benson, please,
just turn over and... and try to relax.
91
00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:14,466
Go right ahead.
92
00:09:15,543 --> 00:09:20,139
Well, I was born Louisa May Foster...
93
00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:23,810
in the small town of Crawleyville, Ohio.
94
00:09:23,885 --> 00:09:27,321
Oh, I can't understand it.
I never wanted money.
95
00:09:27,389 --> 00:09:30,654
All I ever wanted
was to lead a simple life...
96
00:09:30,725 --> 00:09:33,990
with one man to love
and to love me.
97
00:09:34,062 --> 00:09:37,361
A simple life
somewhere in a little cottage...
98
00:09:37,432 --> 00:09:41,994
that's all I ever wanted ever since I was
a little girl with my mother and father.
99
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:44,436
Oh, your mother.
What was your mother like?
100
00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:47,236
Mother? Well...
101
00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:51,904
Mother kept Daddy and me clean, neat as
a pin, and took us to church every Sunday.
102
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:56,644
So now I say unto you,
love thy neighbor as thyself.
103
00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:59,585
'Tis better to give than to receive.
104
00:09:59,654 --> 00:10:04,318
Money is the root of all evil.
105
00:10:04,392 --> 00:10:07,657
Mother even had embroidered
these very sentiments...
106
00:10:07,729 --> 00:10:10,527
on samplers
for our living room at home.
107
00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:14,193
But we were poor, and Mother
found it hard to live up to these ideas.
108
00:10:14,269 --> 00:10:16,703
Good day, Mrs. Jenkins.
109
00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,205
Sherman, did you see Emily Jenkins?
110
00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:21,868
That slob smothered in a mink cape.
111
00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:24,241
I hate her guts!
112
00:10:24,312 --> 00:10:26,246
Look what I've got.
113
00:10:26,314 --> 00:10:30,148
Her husband was a shipping clerk
15 years ago, same as you.
114
00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:33,813
Now look at him. Look at you. Where's
your drive? Where's your ambition?
115
00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:37,688
That's what counts in this world...
Success! Money!
116
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:41,923
Success! Money!
President of the Nice Fellows Club!
117
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,400
Money! Success! Get to the top!
118
00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:51,064
Money! Success! Money!
Money, money, money!
119
00:10:56,811 --> 00:10:58,745
As the years went by...
120
00:10:58,813 --> 00:11:01,748
I saw my dear, sweet Daddy
dwindle away under this...
121
00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:04,410
till you practically didn't know
he was there.
122
00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:09,651
I began to understand what Mother
really meant by those samplers.
123
00:11:18,566 --> 00:11:21,865
You play your cards right
and we'll have more money than we need.
124
00:11:21,936 --> 00:11:25,702
But, Mother, money isn't everything!
125
00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:28,368
I know Leonard Crawley
owns Crawley's Emporium...
126
00:11:28,443 --> 00:11:31,037
and three quarters of the property
in Crawleyville...
127
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:34,775
but I'm not gonna marry him just
because he's the richest man in town.
128
00:11:34,849 --> 00:11:37,909
He's a sneak and a bore
and a drag...
129
00:11:37,986 --> 00:11:40,546
and, oh, he's been
with every girl there is...
130
00:11:40,622 --> 00:11:42,556
and besides, I don't love him!
131
00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:45,718
- There's no such thing as love!
- He's a snob!
132
00:11:45,794 --> 00:11:48,592
He's ashamed of you
and where we live.
133
00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:52,064
Why, he won't even walk in this house
when he comes to call for me.
134
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:55,068
I wouldn't come in here either,
if I didn't have to.
135
00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:58,230
Louisa, you turned out real beautiful.
136
00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:02,140
You have something to sell.
Take a mother's advice. Sell it now!
137
00:12:06,481 --> 00:12:09,245
- There's Leonard. You better hurry.
- No, I'm not going!
138
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:12,684
How dare you turn down
a man like Leonard Crawley!
139
00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:15,848
I tell you he has money.
You go and get it!
140
00:12:19,093 --> 00:12:21,027
Leonard was waiting.
141
00:12:21,095 --> 00:12:23,222
I thought over
everything he had to offer.
142
00:12:23,298 --> 00:12:26,859
The Crawley home, the Crawley stables...
143
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:28,903
Crawley's department store...
144
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:32,064
but then there was Leonard himself.
145
00:12:33,775 --> 00:12:35,766
Leonard Crawley was, um...
146
00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:39,806
Hmm. How shall I say it?
147
00:12:40,882 --> 00:12:42,907
Well, that's not fair, I guess.
148
00:12:42,984 --> 00:12:45,145
He was just Leonard Crawley,
son of wealth.
149
00:12:45,453 --> 00:12:47,944
Put 'er right down next to mine, baby.
150
00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:51,617
- Gee, I wish I'd said that.
- Aw, you can use it anytime you want.
151
00:12:51,693 --> 00:12:53,718
Just give credit to Crawley.
152
00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:56,628
That's more than Crawley
ever did for anyone else in this town.
153
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:01,995
Oh, by the way,
you better let your mom know...
154
00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,004
that the payment's due
on her refrigerator.
155
00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:06,450
Don't let her get the idea
that 'cause we're getting married...
156
00:13:06,474 --> 00:13:08,408
I'm gonna let her off the hook.
157
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:11,411
Oh, no, no. By the way,
she couldn't be your real mother.
158
00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:13,413
She must've been
left on your front doorstep...
159
00:13:13,481 --> 00:13:16,348
one stormy night in a cage.
160
00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:18,510
Why are you so intent on marrying me...
161
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:21,180
when it's perfectly obvious
I'm indifferent to you...
162
00:13:21,256 --> 00:13:23,417
and all of the so-called advantages
you have to offer?
163
00:13:23,491 --> 00:13:26,392
That's just it, baby.
You're the only girl in town...
164
00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:30,192
who doesn't throw herself in front of me
in the mud and scream, "Take me."
165
00:13:30,265 --> 00:13:32,358
You know, you suggest good breeding.
166
00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:34,367
Heaven knows where you got it from.
167
00:13:34,435 --> 00:13:36,699
But, uh, also
you'll produce me an heir...
168
00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,864
and, uh, then my mother
will stop nagging me...
169
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:41,704
about carrying on the Crawley tradition.
170
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:44,711
Any better reason than that
for getting married, huh?
171
00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:47,543
- Hmm?
- How about love?
172
00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:51,051
Love?
Well, let me put it this way, honey.
173
00:13:51,119 --> 00:13:53,553
I'm very rich and you're very poor.
174
00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:56,317
And sooner or later,
you're gonna come around.
175
00:13:56,391 --> 00:13:59,588
Mm. You know the indifference I felt?
176
00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:01,993
Hmm?
177
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:04,054
Well, it's beginning to change.
178
00:14:04,132 --> 00:14:09,069
- It's beginning to blossom
into complete contempt.
179
00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:11,071
What'd I tell you, honey?
180
00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:13,972
I told you you were gonna come around
sooner or later.
181
00:14:20,481 --> 00:14:24,110
I gotta pick up the 6:00 town news
from my store manager.
182
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:26,278
Mm. The Crawley Gestapo.
183
00:14:26,354 --> 00:14:28,914
Ohhh, yes.
184
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,225
Huh? Oh, that eyesore.
185
00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:35,057
The only spot in town we don't own.
186
00:14:35,129 --> 00:14:38,860
But it's just a matter of time before
old Hopper will come around.
187
00:14:40,601 --> 00:14:42,762
Just like you, baby.
188
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:48,319
Good afternoon, Mr. Crawley,
Miss Foster. Nice weather we're having.
189
00:14:48,343 --> 00:14:50,277
- All right. Make it fast, Driscoll.
- Yes, sir.
190
00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:53,542
Mrs. Willoughby was five minutes late
getting back from the doctor's today.
191
00:14:53,614 --> 00:14:56,515
- Oh. Five dollars fine off her salary.
- Yes, sir.
192
00:14:56,584 --> 00:14:59,849
Hopper sent back the answer
to your latest bid on his property.
193
00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:02,651
It's still "no."
He says he doesn't want to make money.
194
00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:04,692
He just wants to
keep his little place as it is.
195
00:15:04,759 --> 00:15:06,693
Edgar Hopper.
196
00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:09,355
I haven't run into him
since high school.
197
00:15:11,632 --> 00:15:15,329
Hmm. I wonder how many days
I'd get for manslaughter.
198
00:15:15,403 --> 00:15:18,497
In Crawleyville,
they wouldn't even fine you, sir.
199
00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:41,694
- Hi, Lenny.
- Edgar, you better watch where you're going.
200
00:15:41,762 --> 00:15:44,196
Yeah, you're right, Lenny.
I was looking at the sun.
201
00:15:44,264 --> 00:15:47,358
- Aren't you angry?
- Why should I be angry? It was my fault.
202
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,198
- Then maybe we could fight.
- There's no sense in doing that, Lenny.
203
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:54,206
You'd kick the heck out of me... all that
football and golf and tennis and everything.
204
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,367
You're a real winner, Lenny.
205
00:15:56,443 --> 00:15:58,377
What are you,
an orthodox coward?
206
00:15:58,445 --> 00:16:01,437
No, Lenny, I just believe
in passive resistance.
207
00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:03,449
Oh. A Mahatma Hopper, I presume.
208
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:07,146
No, as a matter of fact, Gandhi and I
both got it from this guy... Henry Thoreau.
209
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,711
You're all covered with mud, Edgar!
210
00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,486
Oh. I mean, Mr. Hopper.
211
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,154
Louisa...
Louisa Foster, isn't it?
212
00:16:16,229 --> 00:16:18,823
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, I haven't seen you since Mrs. Pritchard's class.
213
00:16:18,899 --> 00:16:21,163
Hey, you've grown... or maybe I shrunk.
214
00:16:21,234 --> 00:16:23,168
He wouldn't be covered
with all this mud...
215
00:16:23,236 --> 00:16:25,170
if he'd let the town
pave that piece of road...
216
00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:27,172
in front of his property
like anybody else.
217
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,174
It costs too much, Lenny.
218
00:16:29,242 --> 00:16:33,178
For what you Crawleys charge for a bag of
cement, this town oughta be paved with gold.
219
00:16:33,246 --> 00:16:35,373
Thanks, Lenny.
Hey, I gotta be going.
220
00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:38,179
- I don't wanna keep those trout waiting.
- See you.
221
00:16:38,251 --> 00:16:41,186
Uh, don't grow any more, Miss Foster.
222
00:16:41,254 --> 00:16:43,882
You're just right now.
Good-bye.
223
00:16:43,957 --> 00:16:45,948
Bye.
224
00:17:16,056 --> 00:17:19,492
- Oh!
- Hello. Imagine finding you here.
225
00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:21,823
I just happened to be swimming by.
226
00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:23,829
Well, you scared the fish away.
227
00:17:23,897 --> 00:17:27,731
You could pull me in.
I am full grown... you said so yourself.
228
00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:31,226
- Thank you.
- Sit down.
229
00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:35,166
Here. Put this on.
230
00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:37,676
Thanks.
Did you catch any?
231
00:17:37,744 --> 00:17:39,837
Well, yeah.
Three, including you.
232
00:17:39,913 --> 00:17:42,006
I'll cook them for you.
233
00:17:42,082 --> 00:17:44,050
My clothes are right down there.
234
00:17:44,117 --> 00:17:46,347
Do you have anything to cook them in?
235
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,856
Well, my baronial estate's
right over there.
236
00:17:49,923 --> 00:17:53,359
- Is that where you live?
- Yeah. I...
237
00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:56,521
It's kind of on the simple side.
I know.
238
00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:59,258
Simple. Yes.
239
00:17:59,332 --> 00:18:03,200
"Oh, our lives are frittered away
by detail.
240
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:05,761
Simplify, simplify."
241
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,773
What did you say?
242
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:12,301
- "Our lives are frittered away...
- "by detail.
243
00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:15,143
Simplify, simplify."
244
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,581
A girl who can quote Thoreau!
245
00:18:17,651 --> 00:18:20,984
Oh, I couldn't quote him before
I went to the library this morning.
246
00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:23,488
I'd never even heard of him
before yesterday.
247
00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:27,653
Wh... Uh, you mean you didn't
swim by my boat just by accident?
248
00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:32,454
No.
249
00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:34,466
Gee.
250
00:18:52,753 --> 00:18:56,189
What is the future Mrs. Leonard Crawley
doing here anyway?
251
00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:58,622
Well, now,
whatever gave you that idea about me?
252
00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:03,095
Well, I don't know.
Everybody in town takes it for granted.
253
00:19:03,163 --> 00:19:05,097
You are engaged to him, aren't you?
254
00:19:05,165 --> 00:19:07,190
Well, he takes it for granted.
255
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,531
Tsk. Ohhh.
256
00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:12,299
But, Edgar...
257
00:19:12,372 --> 00:19:14,966
as far back as I can remember...
258
00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:17,475
in grammar school,
in Mrs. Pritchard's class...
259
00:19:17,544 --> 00:19:19,637
you know, when I sat in front of you?
260
00:19:19,713 --> 00:19:24,207
I wished that I had had long pigtails
so you could stick them in the inkwell.
261
00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,548
Did you really?
262
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:28,884
I'm not gonna marry Leonard Crawley.
263
00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:31,890
Of course, he'll never understand
anyone turning him down.
264
00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:35,993
Especially for you.
265
00:19:36,062 --> 00:19:39,657
Louisa! You...
266
00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:42,065
You mean you'd take this...
267
00:19:42,135 --> 00:19:44,399
instead of all that?
268
00:19:44,471 --> 00:19:47,304
But, Louisa, I've got... nothing.
269
00:19:47,374 --> 00:19:49,308
I'll... I'll always have nothing.
270
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:53,676
- I'll always be nothing.
- Edgar, that's what I want... nothing.
271
00:19:54,748 --> 00:19:57,012
To quote me and not Thoreau...
272
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,074
I love you.
273
00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:10,553
Oh, Louisa.
274
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:14,293
I'll make you happy.
I'll never work hard.
275
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:17,234
I'll never make good.
I swear it!
276
00:20:19,472 --> 00:20:22,737
It's true, Mother.
I've married Edgar Hopper.
277
00:20:28,248 --> 00:20:31,376
Whereas Mother received the
news of my marriage to Edgar...
278
00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:33,544
with ill-disguised displeasure...
279
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:36,282
Leonard took the news in his stride.
280
00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:49,735
For a while, Edgar and I
led an idyllic life.
281
00:20:49,803 --> 00:20:52,237
He went off to the store
a couple of hours a week...
282
00:20:52,305 --> 00:20:54,739
but the rest of the time belonged to us.
283
00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:59,643
As I look back on it, I see our life
together as a wonderful old silent movie.
284
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:57,127
Oh, I'll have this leak fixed in no time.
285
00:22:57,197 --> 00:22:59,563
Well, that ol' water tank
always gave a lot of trouble.
286
00:22:59,632 --> 00:23:01,725
I'm going down to the store
one of these days...
287
00:23:01,801 --> 00:23:03,735
and get some chicken wire
and fix these springs.
288
00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:07,739
- You can do almost anything with chicken wire.
- I sure do love chicken wire.
289
00:23:07,807 --> 00:23:10,119
- Leonard.
- If you're thinking of running something up for dinner...
290
00:23:10,143 --> 00:23:12,077
I'd be pleased to stay.
291
00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:14,079
- Hello, Leonard.
- Hi. Hi.
292
00:23:14,147 --> 00:23:17,014
If it isn't the happy Hoppers at home.
I've been all over the world.
293
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:19,847
This is the first chance I've had
to come over and see you lovebirds.
294
00:23:19,919 --> 00:23:22,353
You know, I saw the Taj Mahal
by moonlight, Louisa?
295
00:23:22,422 --> 00:23:25,016
- Hmm.
- Oh, but I envy you... here.
296
00:23:25,091 --> 00:23:28,026
- What's that, uh, camera for?
- Oh. I'm doing a documentary.
297
00:23:28,094 --> 00:23:30,927
Slum conditions in, uh, Crawleyville.
298
00:23:30,997 --> 00:23:33,192
- Ahhh.
- Oh, come now, Leonard.
299
00:23:33,266 --> 00:23:35,200
You needn't be such a sore loser.
300
00:23:35,268 --> 00:23:39,864
Well, you gave me up for all this,
and I can understand it, you know?
301
00:23:39,939 --> 00:23:42,533
A nice roof under your feet,
rain a-face at night...
302
00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:46,044
all the grass you can eat.
303
00:23:46,112 --> 00:23:50,048
Hey, Leonard, get outta here before
I twist your head off like a turnip.
304
00:23:50,116 --> 00:23:52,880
Well, is this the voice
of passive resistance speaking?
305
00:23:52,952 --> 00:23:55,887
No, just get out of here.
306
00:23:55,955 --> 00:23:59,049
Oh! Oh, Louisa, you all right?
307
00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:02,094
- Ohhh!
- Oh!
308
00:24:02,162 --> 00:24:06,895
Well, another
innovation for modern living, huh?
309
00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:09,127
Instant shower for milady.
310
00:24:09,202 --> 00:24:11,670
- Well, well.
- I'm afraid I'm not a bit handy, Edgar.
311
00:24:11,738 --> 00:24:13,672
Oh, no, but you are handy.
312
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,004
I could use you at the store
doing odd jobs...
313
00:24:16,076 --> 00:24:18,036
and I'd pay you
and you could be earning a living.
314
00:24:18,078 --> 00:24:20,672
- My wife doesn't have to work! I'm sorry.
- Aaah!
315
00:24:20,747 --> 00:24:23,773
Ohhh.
316
00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:25,784
Uh, let me...
317
00:24:25,852 --> 00:24:28,616
Ed. Seriously, Ed.
Why don't you come down this afternoon...
318
00:24:28,688 --> 00:24:30,679
and sell me
that piece of property of yours?
319
00:24:30,757 --> 00:24:32,691
Uh, someone could
do something with it...
320
00:24:32,759 --> 00:24:34,852
not you, of course,
but, uh, someone.
321
00:24:34,928 --> 00:24:37,692
- I said to get outta here. Get outta here!
- All right, all right.
322
00:24:37,764 --> 00:24:40,927
I will. I'm gettin' out. Sorry to have
barged in on you kids like this...
323
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,264
but I'll send a Christmas basket.
324
00:24:54,781 --> 00:24:56,874
What's the matter, darling?
325
00:24:56,950 --> 00:25:00,386
Oh, nothing.
I... think I'll go down to the store...
326
00:25:00,453 --> 00:25:02,387
for a little while this afternoon.
327
00:25:02,455 --> 00:25:04,889
But you were there just 10 days ago!
328
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,722
Well, it's got that chicken wire
I want...
329
00:25:07,794 --> 00:25:10,558
and, uh, some nails.
330
00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:13,258
You know, it's end of summer.
331
00:25:13,333 --> 00:25:15,995
People come home from vacation.
Somebody might want something.
332
00:25:17,303 --> 00:25:19,533
Uh, well, I'll be back.
333
00:25:23,576 --> 00:25:26,170
But he never really
did come back...
334
00:25:26,246 --> 00:25:28,544
not the Edgar Hopper I knew.
335
00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:33,018
When he hadn't returned
by the next day, I hurried into town.
336
00:25:33,086 --> 00:25:35,350
Hop, hop into Hopper's.
The lowest prices in town.
337
00:25:35,421 --> 00:25:39,187
Unlimited credit. This is the biggest sale
in the history of our county.
338
00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:42,194
Don't crawl to Crawley's, folks.
Hop, hop to Hopper's.
339
00:25:42,262 --> 00:25:45,288
I guarantee you 10% off
because we've no air conditioning.
340
00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:47,595
This is it, folks.
Right here on Main Street.
341
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:50,363
Hop, hop to Hopper's.
We undersell everybody.
342
00:25:50,436 --> 00:25:52,427
Come right in, folks.
Instant credit.
343
00:25:52,505 --> 00:25:55,099
If we haven't got it,
we'll get it for you, folks.
344
00:25:55,175 --> 00:25:57,575
Don't crawl to Crawley's.
Hop, hop to Hopper's.
345
00:25:57,644 --> 00:26:00,374
So all you shop...
Louisa.
346
00:26:03,116 --> 00:26:06,779
- What is all this?
- Hopper's Taj Mahal, honey, and it's all for you.
347
00:26:06,853 --> 00:26:11,415
Listen, Louisa, when that snake rattled
into our house, something snapped.
348
00:26:11,491 --> 00:26:13,652
But where have you been?
Why didn't you come home?
349
00:26:13,726 --> 00:26:17,423
There you were, mending the roof...
my wife!
350
00:26:17,497 --> 00:26:20,762
Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers.
Hop to Hopper's.
351
00:26:20,833 --> 00:26:24,394
Honey, I wanna get you things...
dresses and things for the house...
352
00:26:24,470 --> 00:26:26,700
- a house!
- But I like our house.
353
00:26:26,773 --> 00:26:28,707
What is it that makes a family...
354
00:26:28,775 --> 00:26:31,869
go to the same store over
and over and no place else?
355
00:26:31,945 --> 00:26:35,472
Well, I don't know.
Free eats, free toys for the kiddies.
356
00:26:35,548 --> 00:26:39,177
That's it!
We'll stuff 'em and then we'll sell 'em.
357
00:26:39,252 --> 00:26:43,518
- Hop, hop, hop, you shoppers!
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's!
358
00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:45,581
Come on, honey.
Let me show you around.
359
00:26:45,658 --> 00:26:50,095
Hey, you kids. Get up on there and keep
with the "Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's."
360
00:26:50,163 --> 00:26:52,097
- Eddie, this is wonderful.
- Oh, thanks, folks.
361
00:26:52,165 --> 00:26:54,099
- Terrific.
- Thanks for coming.
362
00:26:54,167 --> 00:26:56,579
- There's more bargains than that. Okay.
- We'll be back, Eddie.
363
00:26:56,603 --> 00:26:58,537
- Some buys, Eddie.
- Edgar, uh...
364
00:26:58,605 --> 00:27:01,750
- Congratulations, Eddie.
- Oh, thanks. The prices are low, the goods are right...
365
00:27:01,774 --> 00:27:03,708
so come to Hopper's
from morn till night.
366
00:27:03,776 --> 00:27:06,088
- We'll be back.
- No kidding. We're open till 10:00 every night.
367
00:27:06,112 --> 00:27:08,876
- How's it going there, folks? Those are all on sale.
- Oh, great.
368
00:27:08,948 --> 00:27:11,712
- Edgar, when will we ever see each other?
- Huh?
369
00:27:11,784 --> 00:27:15,584
Honey, as soon as this thing gets going,
we'll have more time together than ever.
370
00:27:15,655 --> 00:27:18,453
But we had all our time
together before.
371
00:27:18,524 --> 00:27:20,924
- What about Thoreau?
- Thoreau?
372
00:27:20,994 --> 00:27:24,987
You don't want to "keep pace" like all the
others. You heard "a different drummer," remember?
373
00:27:25,064 --> 00:27:26,998
Oh, yeah.
I hear a different drummer, all right.
374
00:27:27,066 --> 00:27:29,466
And the music I hear
says, "Hop, hop, Eddie.
375
00:27:29,535 --> 00:27:31,526
Hop, hop."
376
00:27:34,507 --> 00:27:37,340
Well, it looks like
we've got him at last, Driscoll.
377
00:27:37,410 --> 00:27:39,878
Have we?
The people seem to be eating it up.
378
00:27:39,946 --> 00:27:42,107
Anybody'll run to look at a freak.
379
00:27:42,181 --> 00:27:46,049
I figure I give him three months and he'll
hop, hop himself right into oblivion.
380
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,519
#Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's #
381
00:27:48,588 --> 00:27:51,182
♪ Hop, hop, hop, hop to Hopper's ♪
382
00:27:51,257 --> 00:27:54,351
♪ Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's, Hop ♪♪
383
00:27:54,427 --> 00:27:58,022
For-Forgive me, sir,
but we really must advertise.
384
00:27:58,097 --> 00:28:00,429
We must, huh?
You're fired!
385
00:28:03,102 --> 00:28:06,697
- Merry Christmas and
a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year!
386
00:28:08,107 --> 00:28:10,041
Merry Christmas...
387
00:28:10,109 --> 00:28:12,304
and a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year!
388
00:28:14,047 --> 00:28:17,312
- I really bought a lot of stuff.
- I think you bought out the store.
389
00:28:17,383 --> 00:28:19,647
And it's no trouble at all,
Mrs. Freeman. No trouble.
390
00:28:19,719 --> 00:28:21,697
If you can't leave Hopper's,
Hopper's leaves with you.
391
00:28:21,721 --> 00:28:24,315
Hey, Ned, you drop Mrs. Freeman off
on your way home, okay?
392
00:28:24,390 --> 00:28:26,324
Okay, boss.
393
00:28:26,392 --> 00:28:29,987
Oh, thank you, Edgar,
and Merry Christmas.
394
00:28:30,063 --> 00:28:33,157
- Edgar.
- Be right with you, lady. Merry Christmas, Mrs. Freeman!
395
00:28:33,232 --> 00:28:35,166
Edgar.
396
00:28:35,234 --> 00:28:37,668
Oh, hi, honey!
Excuse me. I gotta get back.
397
00:28:37,737 --> 00:28:40,501
But, Edgar,
aren't you coming home soon?
398
00:28:40,573 --> 00:28:43,052
Ooh, I'm sorry, Louisa.
We're staying open till midnight tonight.
399
00:28:43,076 --> 00:28:45,271
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
400
00:28:45,345 --> 00:28:47,677
I'm just a little lonely, that's all.
401
00:28:47,747 --> 00:28:49,908
What? In that big beautiful
new house, lonely?
402
00:28:49,982 --> 00:28:53,349
I'm the only one who's ever in it.
403
00:28:53,419 --> 00:28:55,887
Edgar, it's Christmas.
404
00:28:55,955 --> 00:28:58,719
But, yes, and Christmas is business...
big business.
405
00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:01,885
You're working entirely too hard,
darling.
406
00:29:01,961 --> 00:29:05,192
Honey, by this time next year, we'll be
so rich we can take a real vacation.
407
00:29:05,264 --> 00:29:07,698
- Italy?
- Italy.
408
00:29:07,767 --> 00:29:10,531
- Merry Christmas!
- Besides, what's the matter with work?
409
00:29:10,603 --> 00:29:13,299
- A little hard work never killed anybody.
- Merry Christmas...
410
00:29:13,373 --> 00:29:15,568
- Hi there.
- And a hop, hop, "hoppy" new year.
411
00:29:28,321 --> 00:29:30,482
Edgar's hard work included hitting out...
412
00:29:30,556 --> 00:29:33,150
with every modern sales device
known to man...
413
00:29:33,226 --> 00:29:35,956
- and Crawleyville
was his captive audience.
414
00:29:36,028 --> 00:29:37,825
We were millionaires overnight.
415
00:29:38,131 --> 00:29:40,656
Darling,
I've checked the hotels in Rome...
416
00:29:40,733 --> 00:29:43,167
and I have the reservations
for our vacation.
417
00:29:43,236 --> 00:29:45,500
I'm sorry, honey.
That'll have to wait till next year.
418
00:29:45,571 --> 00:29:47,801
- Next year?
- Yes, next year.
419
00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:49,885
In the meantime,
get yourself a couple of art books...
420
00:29:49,909 --> 00:29:51,843
and a box of spaghetti.
421
00:29:51,911 --> 00:29:55,347
Oh! You liar!
You cheat!
422
00:29:55,415 --> 00:29:58,009
- You deceived me!
- Deceived you?
423
00:29:58,084 --> 00:30:00,678
What, you think I got a blond tootsie
on the side or something?
424
00:30:00,753 --> 00:30:02,687
Oh! I just wish you had!
425
00:30:02,755 --> 00:30:05,189
At least then
I'd know you were relaxing!
426
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,954
Ohhh.
427
00:30:10,029 --> 00:30:13,624
Oh! You don't even
have any feelings anymore.
428
00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:16,361
When we got married,
you promised for better or for worse...
429
00:30:16,436 --> 00:30:19,200
that you'd never make good,
that you'd always be nothing!
430
00:30:19,272 --> 00:30:23,038
Well, look at us! We're so rich
we never even see each other anymore.
431
00:30:23,109 --> 00:30:28,046
Edgar! You're "frittering away your life
in detail. Simplify, simplify."
432
00:30:28,114 --> 00:30:32,050
Simplify schmimmplify!
A little hard work never killed anybody.
433
00:30:33,719 --> 00:30:37,290
Edgar was bewitched like
the sorcerer's apprentice.
434
00:30:37,423 --> 00:30:40,551
- He couldn't stop.
- Get me 300,000 feet of rust-proof chicken wire.
435
00:30:40,626 --> 00:30:42,560
What is with our order...
436
00:30:42,628 --> 00:30:44,994
on the Mother Goose
atomic disintegrator kit?
437
00:30:45,064 --> 00:30:50,468
No, make 'em think they can't live without
doorknobs that light up in the dark. Think big!
438
00:30:50,536 --> 00:30:53,615
Our musical mop which plays "Let Me
Call You Sweetheart, I'm in Love with You,"
439
00:30:53,639 --> 00:30:55,573
is a marketing failure.
440
00:30:55,641 --> 00:30:59,168
Get something happier like "Star and Stripes
Forever" to guarantee musical mop-up.
441
00:30:59,245 --> 00:31:01,338
So it is just a simple equation!
442
00:31:01,414 --> 00:31:05,578
Service quotient "X" plus
condensation-atmospheric quotient "Y"...
443
00:31:05,651 --> 00:31:07,744
plus smile-and-affability quotient "X"...
444
00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:10,414
show in the last three months
a sales gain line...
445
00:31:10,489 --> 00:31:12,980
that has hop, hop, hopped
right off the lousy board!
446
00:31:13,059 --> 00:31:15,687
In short, boys,
we are becoming, by the figures...
447
00:31:15,761 --> 00:31:17,854
the big, bigger, biggest!
448
00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:25,629
Uh, "In re yours of the 23rd,
I am impatiently awaiting your order."
449
00:31:25,705 --> 00:31:27,798
Uh, "Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
450
00:31:27,873 --> 00:31:30,986
"There can be no delays. If you insist
on delaying, you can always be replaced.
451
00:31:31,010 --> 00:31:32,944
Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
452
00:31:33,012 --> 00:31:34,990
"Since your delivery service
has not been quick enough...
453
00:31:35,014 --> 00:31:36,948
"we are terminating
our agreement with you.
454
00:31:37,016 --> 00:31:38,950
Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
455
00:31:39,018 --> 00:31:41,963
"I'd like all those folders rushed out
to the entire mailing list by Monday.
456
00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:43,921
Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
457
00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:46,068
"Order canceled. We asked you for goods,
you gave us promises.
458
00:31:46,092 --> 00:31:48,492
Hastily yours," uh, "Edgar Hopper."
459
00:31:48,561 --> 00:31:51,997
"All the displays in all the branch stores
must be changed daily and rotated.
460
00:31:52,064 --> 00:31:53,998
Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
461
00:31:54,066 --> 00:31:56,478
"That is my final word on the subject.
Hastily yours, Edgar Hopper."
462
00:31:56,502 --> 00:31:58,902
"I've got to have
10,000 bedsprings at once.
463
00:31:58,971 --> 00:32:01,405
"Hostilely yours, Edgar Ha per...
Heaver..." uh, "Hop..."
464
00:32:01,474 --> 00:32:03,908
Uh, uh, "Hastily yours, the hop head,"
465
00:32:03,976 --> 00:32:06,604
uh, "Hastily yours, the Boss."
466
00:32:06,679 --> 00:32:08,724
All right. I'd like that
all in triplicate right away.
467
00:32:08,748 --> 00:32:11,581
Mr. Hopper, no one can work like this.
The pace, it's too fast.
468
00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:14,016
W-We're not machines.
We're human beings.
469
00:32:14,086 --> 00:32:18,022
There is no place here for anyone who cannot
keep up with the pace of modern living.
470
00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:20,081
You are fired.
471
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,567
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's.
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's.
472
00:32:38,644 --> 00:32:41,670
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's.
Hop, hop, hop to Hopper's.
473
00:33:16,649 --> 00:33:18,879
Yes? It happened!
474
00:33:18,951 --> 00:33:22,045
Get me my house, quick!
475
00:33:22,121 --> 00:33:24,521
You just closed the deal?
My wife! Hurry!
476
00:33:24,590 --> 00:33:26,524
Leonard Crawley
just handed over the keys.
477
00:33:26,592 --> 00:33:29,186
Louisa. Louisa! Louisa!
478
00:33:31,931 --> 00:33:34,229
- Hello.
- Louisa, it happened.
479
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,860
- What's happened?
- The next time you walk down Main Street...
480
00:33:36,936 --> 00:33:38,870
there won't be any Crawley's there.
481
00:33:38,938 --> 00:33:40,906
It's gonna say "Hopper's."
Louisa, I did it!
482
00:33:40,973 --> 00:33:43,168
I wiped him out!
He's through in this town!
483
00:33:43,242 --> 00:33:46,643
I guess that's
what you wanted, isn't it?
484
00:33:46,712 --> 00:33:51,308
Oh, I got what I wanted. And I got money,
wealth, success, position.
485
00:33:51,383 --> 00:33:54,944
And next year, this town
is gonna be called Hopperville.
486
00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:57,284
And how'd I get all these things?
Through work.
487
00:33:57,356 --> 00:33:59,881
Just good hard work.
488
00:33:59,959 --> 00:34:02,450
Which all goes to prove...
489
00:34:02,528 --> 00:34:05,053
that a little hard work
never killed anybody.
490
00:34:10,636 --> 00:34:13,196
"And outside of the bequest...
491
00:34:13,272 --> 00:34:17,265
"of one roll of chicken wire
to Leonard Crawley...
492
00:34:17,343 --> 00:34:20,710
"I bequeath my entire fortune
and worldly goods...
493
00:34:20,779 --> 00:34:25,341
to my wife,
Louisa May Foster Hopper."
494
00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:28,352
Edgar had left me
approximately $2 million...
495
00:34:28,420 --> 00:34:30,354
in cash and securities.
496
00:34:30,422 --> 00:34:34,256
And as Thoreau probably never said,
that's a lot of lettuce.
497
00:34:36,562 --> 00:34:37,527
But, uh, my dear...
498
00:34:37,562 --> 00:34:38,493
But, uh, my dear...
499
00:34:38,564 --> 00:34:42,500
you... you mustn't think that this,
in any way, makes you a witch.
500
00:34:42,568 --> 00:34:45,969
Oh, of course,
it is tragic that Edgar died...
501
00:34:46,038 --> 00:34:48,370
but one swallow
doesn't make a summer.
502
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,876
Your, uh, behavior sounds exemplary
to say the least, the very least.
503
00:34:51,944 --> 00:34:56,540
Oh, why did Edgar change that way?
504
00:34:56,615 --> 00:35:00,016
Oh, normal.
Quite normal.
505
00:35:00,085 --> 00:35:03,054
You see, he was the, uh...
the weakest of the tribe...
506
00:35:03,122 --> 00:35:05,716
who had somehow won the prize... you...
507
00:35:05,791 --> 00:35:07,884
without really having had
to fight for you.
508
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,053
Uh, latent feelings of inadequacy
lay dormant...
509
00:35:10,129 --> 00:35:14,759
until he was triggered by Leonard parading
before you in his rich, many-colored feathers.
510
00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:19,497
Edgar, naturally,
felt impelled to get even more feathers...
511
00:35:19,572 --> 00:35:24,009
and driven by this ego drive,
he smothered in his own, uh, feathers.
512
00:35:24,076 --> 00:35:27,011
It happens every day, you know.
513
00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:30,378
Tell me, um,
what happened to the other feather...
514
00:35:30,449 --> 00:35:33,316
or, uh, fellow, this, uh, Leonard?
515
00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:36,684
I never heard from him again.
516
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:44,920
- Dr. Steffanson... Aaah! Aaah!
- Oh!
517
00:35:44,997 --> 00:35:47,158
Oh! Oh! Louisa!
518
00:35:47,232 --> 00:35:50,099
I'm sorry. Just relax!
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
519
00:35:52,338 --> 00:35:56,536
There.
Now, please, please, ju-just relax.
520
00:35:56,609 --> 00:35:58,543
- Mm. Yes.
- Try to relax.
521
00:35:58,611 --> 00:36:01,705
Uh, y-you were saying about,
uh, Leonard. Leonard.
522
00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:04,715
W-Where did Leonard go?
523
00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:07,343
Uh, well...
524
00:36:08,554 --> 00:36:10,886
he just walked away
like a plucked chicken.
525
00:36:10,956 --> 00:36:13,982
Uh-huh. Normal.
Quite... Quite normal.
526
00:36:14,059 --> 00:36:17,586
Yeah. Well, I...
527
00:36:17,663 --> 00:36:20,564
I put all the money in the bank and...
528
00:36:20,633 --> 00:36:23,124
- I gave the house to Mama.
- Uh-huh.
529
00:36:23,202 --> 00:36:27,866
Then I took a small allowance
for myself and I got out of Crawleyville.
530
00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:29,874
Mm-hmm.
531
00:36:29,942 --> 00:36:34,345
I took a trip to Europe alone,
to Paris.
532
00:36:34,413 --> 00:36:36,347
I wanted to forget...
533
00:36:36,415 --> 00:36:40,249
and I was determined
never to marry again.
534
00:36:58,604 --> 00:37:01,198
The bus tours were thrilling
and exhausting.
535
00:37:15,554 --> 00:37:17,818
Place de la, uh...
536
00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:20,154
des jardins de...
537
00:37:20,225 --> 00:37:22,318
Ohhh.
538
00:37:22,394 --> 00:37:25,886
- "Est-ce que..."
- I ain't got all day, lady. Where do you wanna go?
539
00:37:25,964 --> 00:37:30,526
- Oh. You speak English.
- All of us foreigners do. It's compulsory.
540
00:37:30,602 --> 00:37:33,537
You American?
541
00:37:33,605 --> 00:37:36,369
Nah, lady,
I'm a Russian spy for the C.I.A.
542
00:37:36,442 --> 00:37:38,376
Well, what'll it be, huh...
543
00:37:38,444 --> 00:37:41,174
go to the American ghetto
at the bar at the Georges Cinq...
544
00:37:41,246 --> 00:37:43,510
or go visit
some of your phony friends...
545
00:37:43,582 --> 00:37:45,777
learning about life
at Les Deux Magots?
546
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:52,653
Well, frankly, I'd like to do either,
but, uh, I don't know anybody here.
547
00:38:16,582 --> 00:38:18,550
Well?
548
00:38:18,617 --> 00:38:21,313
Oh. Well.
549
00:38:21,386 --> 00:38:24,355
Uh, well, I think I'd like to
see some more pictures.
550
00:38:24,423 --> 00:38:26,983
I've just been through the Louvre,
and that was wonderful.
551
00:38:27,059 --> 00:38:30,654
The Louvre. Now, what is that?
It's the garbage pail of the arts.
552
00:38:30,729 --> 00:38:32,663
- Et vous! Allez, allez!
553
00:38:32,731 --> 00:38:34,665
Démarrez!
554
00:38:34,733 --> 00:38:38,499
Well, uh, how about the show
at the Galeries Lafayette?
555
00:38:38,570 --> 00:38:40,504
That's a department store, lady...
556
00:38:40,572 --> 00:38:43,384
but I'd rather hang up one of their
face towels than some of that other junk.
557
00:38:43,408 --> 00:38:46,343
Listen, I'm sure
you're an expert taxi driver...
558
00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:48,436
and I don't mean
to belittle your profession...
559
00:38:48,514 --> 00:38:50,448
but why should I listen
to your opinion on art?
560
00:38:52,084 --> 00:38:55,178
Because I happen to be
one of five people today...
561
00:38:55,254 --> 00:38:57,188
who could definitely
be called an artist.
562
00:38:57,256 --> 00:38:59,952
Maybe six, including Frieda.
563
00:39:00,025 --> 00:39:04,485
- Who's Frieda?
- A chimpanzee on my block.
564
00:39:07,032 --> 00:39:09,523
Oh, that's great.
That's great.
565
00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:11,946
I mean, you see a technique like that,
it just wipes you out.
566
00:39:11,970 --> 00:39:14,530
- I go ape!
- Uh, what is it?
567
00:39:14,606 --> 00:39:16,631
What is it?
Innocence!
568
00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:20,166
Van Gogh had it, but, uh,
then he had to chop his ear off...
569
00:39:20,245 --> 00:39:22,179
in order to free himself.
570
00:39:22,247 --> 00:39:25,808
- Free himself from what?
- Intellectual hang-up.
571
00:39:25,884 --> 00:39:28,396
You know, if we could all do that,
go back to a life like that...
572
00:39:28,420 --> 00:39:30,354
uncluttered, unhung...
573
00:39:30,422 --> 00:39:33,084
simple.
574
00:39:33,158 --> 00:39:36,594
- Oh.
- Well, Frieda had the best teacher in the world, you know.
575
00:39:36,662 --> 00:39:38,857
- Rene Carrere there.
- Ohhh.
576
00:39:38,931 --> 00:39:42,731
I'm very happy to meet you, Mr. Carrere.
I'm Louisa May Hopper.
577
00:39:42,801 --> 00:39:48,171
You don't look anything like the Emile
Desjardins it said you are in your cab.
578
00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,504
The name is Larry Flint.
579
00:39:50,576 --> 00:39:54,376
I just take Emile's cab out for him
once a year... the day his wife has a baby.
580
00:39:54,446 --> 00:39:56,573
Frieda is finished now.
581
00:39:57,583 --> 00:39:59,881
It's a masterpiece!
582
00:39:59,952 --> 00:40:03,080
Boy! Look at the line!
583
00:40:03,155 --> 00:40:06,386
And the color and the sweep
and the texture.
584
00:40:06,458 --> 00:40:08,983
Marvelous!
585
00:40:10,028 --> 00:40:12,360
A testament to the human spirit!
586
00:40:12,431 --> 00:40:15,025
Total primitive articulation!
587
00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,864
- Mwah!
- Does Frieda's work sell?
588
00:40:17,936 --> 00:40:21,201
Sell? You think Frieda cares
whether her work sells?
589
00:40:21,273 --> 00:40:23,207
You think I care
whether my work sells?
590
00:40:23,275 --> 00:40:26,608
Typical American yardstick... the
eternal buck! That's why I left the place.
591
00:40:26,678 --> 00:40:29,704
Well, Mr. Flint,
I was only asking. Um...
592
00:40:29,781 --> 00:40:32,215
Aaah! What's that?
593
00:40:32,284 --> 00:40:34,946
She's at it again.
594
00:40:35,020 --> 00:40:37,420
Aaah! Well, is someone
being murdered? Aaah!
595
00:40:37,489 --> 00:40:39,423
Are we going to the police?
596
00:40:42,127 --> 00:40:44,459
Hey, Larry.
She shot three already!
597
00:40:49,835 --> 00:40:51,826
Hey, Polly,
you're working again.
598
00:40:51,904 --> 00:40:54,236
Yeah. For weeks
I thought I couldn't paint again...
599
00:40:54,306 --> 00:40:56,638
and now, suddenly, it's all come back!
600
00:41:01,847 --> 00:41:04,407
One of the greats.
601
00:41:04,483 --> 00:41:06,781
Ugh! That picture makes me sick!
602
00:41:06,852 --> 00:41:08,786
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
603
00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:10,913
Good. Feel sick.
It should make you feel sick.
604
00:41:10,989 --> 00:41:12,923
It's destruction, pure and simple.
605
00:41:12,991 --> 00:41:16,188
That's what today is all about.
That technique is her way of expressing it.
606
00:41:16,261 --> 00:41:19,958
Ugh! Aaah!
607
00:41:20,032 --> 00:41:24,025
What was I doing in Paris
4,500 miles away from home?
608
00:41:24,102 --> 00:41:27,367
It was fate.
I had come to meet Larry Flint...
609
00:41:27,439 --> 00:41:29,532
an unspoiled, dedicated artist...
610
00:41:29,608 --> 00:41:33,044
searching in his own troubled way
for the simple life.
611
00:41:33,111 --> 00:41:35,944
Suddenly,
I knew I wanted to share that life.
612
00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:40,646
Well, I never did go back to the Ritz.
613
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,653
I'll never forget the wedding.
614
00:41:42,721 --> 00:41:45,383
Frieda made a lovely bridesmaid.
615
00:41:45,457 --> 00:41:48,221
As a matter of fact,
she caught the bridal bouquet and ate it.
616
00:41:50,429 --> 00:41:54,058
For a while,
Larry and I led an idyllic life.
617
00:41:54,132 --> 00:41:58,694
As I look back on it, it all seems like one
of those wickedly romantic French movies.
618
00:42:29,468 --> 00:42:33,097
To your health, Louisa!
619
00:43:12,677 --> 00:43:15,145
- Louisa!
- Louisa!
620
00:44:17,208 --> 00:44:20,268
The rest of the time, I kept house.
621
00:44:20,344 --> 00:44:22,744
Ah, la vie de Bohème!
622
00:44:22,814 --> 00:44:25,009
Le sacrifice d'amour.
623
00:44:39,430 --> 00:44:42,831
- This week's dinner.
- Oh, darling!
624
00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,300
Beautiful!
625
00:44:45,369 --> 00:44:48,361
- How did you...
- Opus 752.
626
00:44:48,439 --> 00:44:52,375
But, darling, that's one of
your most beautiful paintings.
627
00:44:52,443 --> 00:44:54,421
Well, we can see it anytime
we go to the butcher shop.
628
00:44:54,445 --> 00:44:57,458
Monsieur Blanchard has got it hanging
right over the tripe and the sweetbreads.
629
00:44:57,482 --> 00:45:02,476
- But I've told you so many times, in the United States in a bank...
- Won't touch it... not a nickel!
630
00:45:02,553 --> 00:45:05,215
Money corrupts.
Art erupts.
631
00:45:05,289 --> 00:45:07,553
Oh, that's a beautiful saying.
632
00:45:07,625 --> 00:45:09,786
It's immortal.
I just made it up.
633
00:45:09,861 --> 00:45:13,558
Hey, uh, say, listen, why don't you
bring some of that downstairs for me?
634
00:45:13,631 --> 00:45:15,724
Will you?
I got some erupting to do.
635
00:45:47,331 --> 00:45:49,265
Darling, your soup's on.
636
00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:51,267
Soup.
637
00:45:57,275 --> 00:46:00,711
Darling, must you make
so much noise when you paint?
638
00:46:01,846 --> 00:46:03,780
Ain't no other way, honey.
639
00:46:03,848 --> 00:46:05,782
Tools of my trade, like I told you.
640
00:46:05,850 --> 00:46:08,614
See, the sound, the sonic vibrations,
they go in there.
641
00:46:08,686 --> 00:46:11,211
And then that gets transmitted
to that photoelectric cell...
642
00:46:11,289 --> 00:46:14,747
which gives those dynamic impulses
to the brushes and the arms...
643
00:46:14,825 --> 00:46:20,320
and it's a fusion of the mechanized world
and a human soul.
644
00:46:20,398 --> 00:46:23,595
It's the only affirmative statement
being made in the world of art today.
645
00:46:23,668 --> 00:46:26,535
I-I'm sorry. I forgot.
646
00:46:26,604 --> 00:46:28,572
It's a terrible thing, being so dumb.
647
00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:30,573
Well, you're really not so dumb, honey...
648
00:46:30,641 --> 00:46:33,439
'cause, to tell the truth,
I don't understand it myself.
649
00:46:51,929 --> 00:46:53,863
I left the machine on.
650
00:46:53,931 --> 00:46:56,900
Larry!
651
00:46:56,968 --> 00:46:59,459
Larry.
652
00:46:59,537 --> 00:47:02,028
I know this probably
sounds stupid to you...
653
00:47:02,106 --> 00:47:05,041
but what if we take a record...
654
00:47:05,109 --> 00:47:07,942
and we put it on and we play it
through the, uh... the...
655
00:47:08,012 --> 00:47:10,776
- Sonic palette.
- The sonic palette.
656
00:47:10,848 --> 00:47:13,749
Silly kid. Go ahead.
657
00:47:13,818 --> 00:47:15,752
Mendelssohn's "Spring Song"...
658
00:47:15,820 --> 00:47:17,811
that's my favorite.
659
00:48:23,888 --> 00:48:25,981
Larry?
660
00:48:26,057 --> 00:48:30,824
Larry. Oh, I like the ones
you make with your own noises.
661
00:48:30,895 --> 00:48:33,056
They're the real you.
662
00:48:35,399 --> 00:48:38,732
Yeah, but, uh,
I hate to waste a good canvas...
663
00:48:38,803 --> 00:48:41,829
so I might try to pay a bill with it.
664
00:48:41,906 --> 00:48:44,739
Maybe the butcher
won't know the difference...
665
00:48:44,809 --> 00:48:47,334
between a real Larry Flint
and a Mendelssohn.
666
00:48:51,515 --> 00:48:55,349
Hey, Louisa. Hey!
Guess what.
667
00:48:55,419 --> 00:48:58,183
- What, darling?
- I didn't leave it at the butcher's.
668
00:48:58,255 --> 00:49:01,850
I was there showing it to him, and there was
this customer there buying pig's knuckles.
669
00:49:01,926 --> 00:49:06,693
So, um, he looks at the picture and then he
puts on his glasses and he gives me his card...
670
00:49:06,764 --> 00:49:09,198
and he gives me 40,000 francs!
671
00:49:09,266 --> 00:49:11,860
That's almost $200.
672
00:49:11,936 --> 00:49:13,961
Oh. Why, that's wonderful, darling.
673
00:49:14,038 --> 00:49:16,802
All from that silly little idea.
674
00:49:16,874 --> 00:49:18,967
Yeah, well, I gotta go downstairs
and get to work.
675
00:49:21,545 --> 00:49:24,878
I'll be listening for all those
dear funny little noises.
676
00:50:07,358 --> 00:50:10,759
Aha! Das ist gute, Ludwig.
677
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,360
The show was a smashing success.
678
00:50:45,429 --> 00:50:49,388
- Merci, Madame.
- Larry was famous and rich overnight.
679
00:50:49,467 --> 00:50:52,561
In the middle of this excitement,
I was filled with apprehension...
680
00:50:52,636 --> 00:50:54,570
although I tried to conceal it.
681
00:50:54,638 --> 00:50:57,402
- Congratulations, Master.
- I am insufferably honored.
682
00:50:57,475 --> 00:51:00,410
Frieda and I are very happy.
683
00:51:00,478 --> 00:51:03,914
At last, painting which is music
and music which is painting.
684
00:51:03,981 --> 00:51:07,576
- How do you do it?
- Oh, can anyone explain the workings of the inner man?
685
00:51:07,651 --> 00:51:11,917
Actually, the act of creation might best
be described as pure animal instinct.
686
00:51:11,989 --> 00:51:16,016
If only Beethoven were alive
to just hear this painting.
687
00:51:16,093 --> 00:51:18,687
Ah, yes. Pauvre Ludwig.
I think he'd be very pleased.
688
00:51:18,762 --> 00:51:22,528
Your paintings make me
want to kneel, pray and cry.
689
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,678
Well, in that case, Baroness,
why don't you buy one...
690
00:51:24,702 --> 00:51:26,761
then you can kneel and pray
and cry at home.
691
00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:28,896
Sensation, Master!
692
00:51:28,973 --> 00:51:33,376
- Please.
- Please. Please let me introduce you to all Paris.
693
00:51:33,444 --> 00:51:36,709
Well, thank you very much, but me wife
and I don't take much to the high places.
694
00:51:36,780 --> 00:51:40,546
We'll just go back to our little garage
and attic. I got work to do.
695
00:51:43,020 --> 00:51:45,716
But, of course, we didn't
go back to the old place.
696
00:51:45,789 --> 00:51:47,916
We had a lovely house
on Isle St. Louis.
697
00:51:47,992 --> 00:51:49,926
But Larry was never there.
698
00:51:49,994 --> 00:51:51,928
If he wasn't entertaining
at the gallery...
699
00:51:51,996 --> 00:51:54,464
he was at his studio
just outside of Paris.
700
00:52:09,914 --> 00:52:12,405
I was tired of being alone...
701
00:52:12,483 --> 00:52:16,010
tired of wearing these ridiculous outfits
Larry painted for me.
702
00:52:16,086 --> 00:52:18,179
What kind of life was this?
703
00:52:18,255 --> 00:52:20,348
I was just another canvas to him...
704
00:52:20,424 --> 00:52:22,858
just another walking catalog.
705
00:52:22,927 --> 00:52:25,521
Where was the simple life
Larry and I had had...
706
00:52:25,596 --> 00:52:27,689
that vie de Bohème?
707
00:52:27,765 --> 00:52:29,858
He was obsessed with success.
708
00:52:29,934 --> 00:52:33,529
I had to get him back. I couldn't
let that happen to me a second time.
709
00:52:33,604 --> 00:52:35,663
Suddenly, I had an idea.
710
00:52:57,294 --> 00:53:01,321
What are you doing up there?
Get down! Down!
711
00:53:01,398 --> 00:53:04,492
What the...
712
00:53:06,270 --> 00:53:09,034
Stop that right now!
Stop that! Stop that!
713
00:53:10,140 --> 00:53:13,337
Come on, now! Stop that!
714
00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:17,213
Louisa, what are you doing here?
715
00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:20,011
Darling, I haven't seen you in so long.
716
00:53:20,084 --> 00:53:23,019
What do you mean? We had dinner together
only last week. What do you want?
717
00:53:23,087 --> 00:53:25,180
Uh, I have a surprise for you.
718
00:53:26,490 --> 00:53:28,481
Aha!
719
00:53:34,131 --> 00:53:36,759
Larry!
720
00:53:36,834 --> 00:53:39,029
Larry!
721
00:53:39,103 --> 00:53:41,731
Larry!
722
00:53:41,805 --> 00:53:43,773
Look who's here!
723
00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:47,038
- Well, how is Frieda?
- Oh, painting better than ever.
724
00:53:47,111 --> 00:53:50,547
Larry. Larry, we have missed you,
Larry.
725
00:53:50,614 --> 00:53:52,775
Oh, yes. I have missed you too.
726
00:53:58,088 --> 00:54:00,556
Listen, Larry.
We have a picnic.
727
00:54:00,624 --> 00:54:03,889
Some bread and wine and cheese,
and I thought we could all...
728
00:54:03,961 --> 00:54:06,896
No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
but I'm working against a deadline.
729
00:54:06,964 --> 00:54:10,559
This mural's for Neiman Marcus.
That's a department store in Texas.
730
00:54:10,634 --> 00:54:13,501
150 thou!
731
00:54:13,570 --> 00:54:16,835
I've got to get it rolled up
and on a jet by tomorrow.
732
00:54:19,743 --> 00:54:21,677
What are you doing up there?
733
00:54:21,745 --> 00:54:25,237
Aaargh! Oh, I never should have had
these damn things made in Paris!
734
00:54:28,585 --> 00:54:31,520
What are you doing? Where are you going?
Get back in line here!
735
00:54:31,588 --> 00:54:34,022
Stop that now!
736
00:54:34,091 --> 00:54:36,855
- I'm terribly sorry, Rene. I'm sorry.
- Stop that!
737
00:54:36,927 --> 00:54:39,020
Get back there!
Get back there!
738
00:54:39,096 --> 00:54:42,827
Larry! Larry, what is the matter with you?
What is the matter?
739
00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:46,267
- Get back there!
- Larry, why can't it be the way it used to be?
740
00:54:46,336 --> 00:54:49,635
Larry, I never dreamed this could happen!
741
00:54:49,707 --> 00:54:51,641
What is the matter with you, Larry?
742
00:54:51,709 --> 00:54:55,145
What is the matter with you?
743
00:54:59,383 --> 00:55:01,351
- Larry!
- Rene, let's go.
744
00:55:37,755 --> 00:55:42,886
150 thou! Ohhh!
745
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:44,689
What the...
746
00:55:44,762 --> 00:55:47,162
A a a ah!
747
00:56:08,786 --> 00:56:11,550
- En Anglais, s'il vous plait.
- Pardon, Madame.
748
00:56:11,622 --> 00:56:14,056
"I, Larry Flint, bequeath all my..."
749
00:56:14,124 --> 00:56:16,490
What Larry Flint had left me in cash...
750
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:18,551
plus the sale
of his remaining pictures...
751
00:56:18,629 --> 00:56:22,326
brought me in the neighborhood
of $4 million in American money.
752
00:56:22,399 --> 00:56:26,004
It was an amount even Picasso
wouldn't be ashamed of.
753
00:56:26,137 --> 00:56:29,937
After several months
of trying to lose myself in Paris...
754
00:56:30,008 --> 00:56:31,942
I decided to leave.
755
00:56:41,419 --> 00:56:43,410
Oh!
756
00:56:45,023 --> 00:56:47,958
I was here an hour early
and you kept me sitting in that lounge...
757
00:56:48,026 --> 00:56:51,518
and everyone said, "Well, don't worry.
You'll hear the announcement."
758
00:56:51,596 --> 00:56:55,692
We phoned for them to hold up for you, but
I guess they didn't get the message, Madame.
759
00:56:55,767 --> 00:56:57,701
Believe me...
Believe me, it's just...
760
00:56:57,769 --> 00:57:00,033
All my luggage is on that plane!
761
00:57:00,104 --> 00:57:02,698
Oh, I had my heart set
on getting out of here tonight.
762
00:57:15,954 --> 00:57:19,014
- But I can't possibly stay in Paris for another day.
- Madame...
763
00:57:19,090 --> 00:57:22,457
- You missed the last trolley back to town?
- Oh, Mr. Anderson.
764
00:57:22,527 --> 00:57:24,461
Should I have that plane brought back?
765
00:57:24,529 --> 00:57:27,396
- No, no. I'll take it from here.
- Thank you, Mr. Anderson.
766
00:57:27,465 --> 00:57:30,764
Excuse me, Mr. Anderson.
Overseas call, sir. San Francisco.
767
00:57:30,835 --> 00:57:34,066
Okay. Excuse me.
Hello? Uh-huh.
768
00:57:34,139 --> 00:57:36,198
I recognized him immediately...
769
00:57:36,274 --> 00:57:39,607
unbalding, glamorous
Rod Anderson, Jr...
770
00:57:39,677 --> 00:57:42,111
millionaire tycoon, up from riches...
771
00:57:42,180 --> 00:57:46,241
inheriting 10 million from
senior Anderson's maple syrup empire.
772
00:57:46,317 --> 00:57:49,514
Unmarried, he seemed to have no trouble
in getting what he wanted...
773
00:57:49,587 --> 00:57:53,216
- in business or in pleasure.
- Uh-huh. Yeah. Buy it. Thank you.
774
00:57:53,291 --> 00:57:55,589
Well, Mrs. Flint,
where would you like to go?
775
00:57:55,660 --> 00:57:58,939
I was sorry to read of your loss. I saw you
at one of your late husband's openings.
776
00:57:58,963 --> 00:58:01,796
I didn't buy anything, though.
I don't like his paintings.
777
00:58:01,866 --> 00:58:05,097
Well, I don't like your airplanes.
Where are you going?
778
00:58:05,170 --> 00:58:08,162
New York, Miami, Irkutsk...
anyplace you'd like to go.
779
00:58:08,239 --> 00:58:10,605
I just flew in from New York
this evening for some party.
780
00:58:10,675 --> 00:58:13,667
I stayed about a half an hour,
and I'd had it. I don't like parties.
781
00:58:13,745 --> 00:58:16,737
So, you just put on your
Superman suit and fly away home.
782
00:58:16,815 --> 00:58:21,377
That's right. And there it is... or don't
you accept hitches from strange men?
783
00:58:21,452 --> 00:58:23,920
Oh, I know who you are, Mr. Anderson.
784
00:58:23,988 --> 00:58:25,922
I just don't know
if I'll be very good company.
785
00:58:25,990 --> 00:58:28,458
I just got...
I don't have much small talk.
786
00:58:28,526 --> 00:58:31,324
- I haven't any time for small talk either.
- Excuse me, Mr. Anderson.
787
00:58:31,396 --> 00:58:34,991
- Overseas call. Hong Kong calling.
- Excuse me. Uh-huh.
788
00:58:35,066 --> 00:58:39,799
Yeah. Uh-huh.
All right. Sell it. Thank you.
789
00:58:39,871 --> 00:58:43,034
- Well, where shall it be?
- New York.
790
00:58:43,107 --> 00:58:45,735
New York it is.
791
00:58:51,816 --> 00:58:55,912
What was I getting into?
What was on that plane?
792
00:58:55,987 --> 00:58:59,184
I looked at the name of it.
"Melissa."
793
00:58:59,257 --> 00:59:01,782
Naturally it would be
named after a woman.
794
00:59:01,860 --> 00:59:04,090
I'd heard enough
about those dissolute playboys.
795
00:59:21,846 --> 00:59:25,475
What are you doing after the orgy?
796
00:59:28,219 --> 00:59:31,279
The, uh, plane is ready.
797
00:59:31,356 --> 00:59:35,622
- Pretty name, "Melissa."
- Someone I knew a long time ago.
798
00:59:54,712 --> 00:59:57,203
- Good evening, Mr. Anderson.
- Good evening, Mark.
799
00:59:57,282 --> 01:00:01,878
Mark, this is Mrs. Flint. She'll be flying
back with us. What sort of weather have we?
800
01:00:01,953 --> 01:00:05,719
- It's clear, sir, all the way through to New York.
- Excellent.
801
01:00:11,029 --> 01:00:15,261
- Good evening, Willard.
- Good evening, Mr. Anderson.
802
01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,665
- Willard, this is Mrs. Flint.
- How do you do?
803
01:00:17,735 --> 01:00:20,226
- Mrs. Flint will be flying back with us.
- Yes, sir.
804
01:00:20,305 --> 01:00:22,466
Her bags left on the 11:19.
805
01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:25,839
You have them picked up
at Idlewild and delivered to...
806
01:00:25,910 --> 01:00:29,073
- Uh, the Montclair Hotel?
- Is that your favorite?
807
01:00:29,147 --> 01:00:33,743
- Well, I've never, uh, been in New York. Only for a few hours en route.
- Mm-hmm.
808
01:00:33,818 --> 01:00:38,118
- You better make that my suite at the St. Regis, Willard.
- Very good, sir.
809
01:00:38,189 --> 01:00:40,521
It's reserved for visiting executives.
810
01:00:40,591 --> 01:00:44,186
I camp about 10 blocks
further up the street on Fifth Avenue.
811
01:00:44,262 --> 01:00:47,959
- And Willard, have the chef come 'round and take Mrs. Flint's order, will you?
- Yes, sir.
812
01:00:48,032 --> 01:00:51,126
You have anything you like.
We have some rather fine wines aboard.
813
01:00:51,202 --> 01:00:54,433
- I'll, uh, just have my usual.
- Yes, sir.
814
01:00:54,505 --> 01:00:57,941
- Whatever you have is all right with me.
- Oh, really?
815
01:00:58,009 --> 01:01:03,413
My usual is two soft-boiled eggs,
gluten toast and a glass of yogurt.
816
01:01:03,481 --> 01:01:07,918
And Willard, Mrs. Flint will have
the, uh, crème Senegalese, steak Diane...
817
01:01:07,986 --> 01:01:13,390
pomme soufflé, profiteroles with, uh, chocolate
sauce, and break out a bottle of La Tache.
818
01:01:13,458 --> 01:01:15,858
- Very good, sir.
- And that'll be all, Willard. Thank you.
819
01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:19,454
Now, let's step into the bar.
820
01:01:19,530 --> 01:01:22,499
- I'll make you one of my very special martinis.
- Oh, thank you, no.
821
01:01:22,567 --> 01:01:25,866
I'll have a, uh... a scotch on the "rotch."
822
01:01:25,937 --> 01:01:29,634
- Uh, on the rocks.
- Oh. Very well.
823
01:01:30,775 --> 01:01:33,972
I was raised on maple syrup,
you know.
824
01:01:34,045 --> 01:01:36,013
Cured me of drinking anything at all.
825
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,244
- Oh. Well, then I won't have...
- No, no, no. You go right ahead. Drink up. It's good for you.
826
01:01:42,854 --> 01:01:46,119
Telephone.
Watkins in Chicago.
827
01:01:46,190 --> 01:01:48,181
Excuse me.
828
01:01:58,136 --> 01:02:01,003
You know,
you really are rather beautiful...
829
01:02:01,072 --> 01:02:04,906
but, uh, is that your hair?
830
01:02:04,976 --> 01:02:07,001
Yeah. Hello.
831
01:02:07,078 --> 01:02:11,014
Okay. You just sit tight. No, no.
I think Prescott's bluffing anyway.
832
01:02:11,082 --> 01:02:13,073
True, there was no orgy on board.
833
01:02:13,151 --> 01:02:16,120
- He wasn't
the Diamond Jim Brady of the jet set.
834
01:02:16,187 --> 01:02:20,385
But he was arrogant, cold,
sure of himself, ordering people around...
835
01:02:20,458 --> 01:02:24,861
another object lesson in what money
and power can do to a human being.
836
01:02:24,929 --> 01:02:28,922
But for all of it, he really seemed
to be a miserable and lonely man.
837
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:34,870
Why he never even smiled. Not once
had a smile lit that stony, sunless face.
838
01:02:34,939 --> 01:02:37,635
Well, a tycoon's work
is never finished, is it?
839
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:41,576
- That's what you call yourself, isn't it? A tycoon?
- Absolutely. Absolutely.
840
01:02:41,646 --> 01:02:46,447
Every morning I get up and look at myself in
the mirror, and I say, "Good morning, tycoon."
841
01:02:46,517 --> 01:02:49,077
I, uh... I know you don't approve of me,
Mrs. Flint...
842
01:02:49,153 --> 01:02:51,917
but that need be of no concern
to either one of us.
843
01:02:51,989 --> 01:02:54,651
I'm going into my office now.
I've got some work to do.
844
01:02:54,725 --> 01:03:00,595
I promise not to interrupt by calling out points of
passing interest or the weather conditions over Baffin Bay.
845
01:03:00,665 --> 01:03:04,157
I'll see you in New York,
and don't forget to fasten your seat belt.
846
01:03:09,507 --> 01:03:12,670
What was wrong with my hat anyway?
847
01:03:15,813 --> 01:03:19,579
- Okay, Mark. I'll take her.
- Okay, sir.
848
01:03:20,818 --> 01:03:23,116
I wondered who Melissa was.
849
01:03:23,187 --> 01:03:26,623
Some forgotten Hollywood starlet,
no doubt.
850
01:03:33,498 --> 01:03:37,491
I was scared.
I hated being alone during the takeoff.
851
01:04:31,856 --> 01:04:35,485
It was so beautiful looking down...
852
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:39,462
the lights, the sky, the stars.
853
01:04:40,631 --> 01:04:43,327
How I wished I had
someone to share it with...
854
01:04:43,401 --> 01:04:48,270
not this unsmiling,
airborne cigar-store Indian.
855
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:51,774
Then, the fatal thing happened.
856
01:04:57,548 --> 01:05:01,177
I'm glad you decided to join me.
857
01:05:01,252 --> 01:05:04,244
Nice to have someone
to share it with, isn't it?
858
01:05:05,890 --> 01:05:07,824
Beautiful.
859
01:05:08,893 --> 01:05:12,852
Excuse me, sir.
Telephone. Zurich.
860
01:05:12,930 --> 01:05:17,162
Willard, tell the gentleman
I just stepped out.
861
01:05:31,382 --> 01:05:34,044
I never did get to the St. Regis.
862
01:05:34,118 --> 01:05:37,645
We were married in New York
in his fabulous penthouse.
863
01:05:49,900 --> 01:05:53,199
Thank you, Timothy.
864
01:05:53,271 --> 01:05:55,205
Hello.
865
01:05:55,273 --> 01:05:59,539
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
866
01:05:59,610 --> 01:06:02,545
Okay.
867
01:06:02,613 --> 01:06:05,104
I felt so safe at last.
868
01:06:05,182 --> 01:06:09,516
Rod had all the wealth and success
he wanted long before he met me.
869
01:06:09,587 --> 01:06:12,954
I felt I couldn't possibly jinx his life.
870
01:06:15,026 --> 01:06:17,824
- Uh-huh.
- As for the mysterious Melissa...
871
01:06:17,895 --> 01:06:20,420
I decided never
to question him about it.
872
01:06:20,498 --> 01:06:22,989
I dismissed it from my life.
873
01:06:29,140 --> 01:06:32,337
A little trinket from Harry Winston's.
874
01:06:32,410 --> 01:06:35,937
As I look back on it now,
our life together was like...
875
01:06:36,013 --> 01:06:41,645
one of those glamorous Hollywood movies
all about love and what'll she wear next.
876
01:07:12,817 --> 01:07:15,809
Remind me to tell you later
that I love you.
877
01:07:19,857 --> 01:07:22,223
I'll remind you
if you'll remind me.
878
01:08:46,811 --> 01:08:49,644
- Louisa!
- Hello, Doris.
879
01:08:49,713 --> 01:08:52,739
- Now, Louisa, you look divine.
- Oh, Chester, thank you.
880
01:08:57,154 --> 01:09:01,056
- You remember Peter, don't you, darling?
- Oh, but of course.
881
01:09:04,295 --> 01:09:06,957
We met at El Morocco the other evening.
882
01:09:07,031 --> 01:09:10,159
- You play beautifully. So nice of you to come.
- Thank you.
883
01:09:10,234 --> 01:09:13,931
- That's a beautiful dress.
- Oh, I'm glad you like it.
884
01:09:14,004 --> 01:09:19,772
It's my favorite...
my very own favorite.
885
01:09:19,844 --> 01:09:21,778
I wanna talk to you.
886
01:09:21,846 --> 01:09:24,576
- What is it, dear?
- You remind me to tell you later...
887
01:09:24,648 --> 01:09:26,843
that I love you.
888
01:09:26,917 --> 01:09:29,545
- Rod!
- Nicky!
889
01:09:31,956 --> 01:09:33,947
Louisa!
890
01:09:36,994 --> 01:09:39,758
Louisa, darling, here is someone
you simply must meet.
891
01:09:48,172 --> 01:09:51,107
- Darling, now you know Nicky Cathcart...
- Wonderful to meet you.
892
01:09:51,175 --> 01:09:53,109
- Mrs. Cathcart.
- How do you do?
893
01:09:53,177 --> 01:09:56,442
- Louisa.
- I do hope the two of you can come down to us for a shoot.
894
01:09:56,513 --> 01:10:00,005
Mmm! Love to.
We always get a bang out of a shoot.
895
01:10:01,719 --> 01:10:04,779
Remind me...
to tell you...
896
01:10:04,855 --> 01:10:05,855
that...
897
01:10:05,923 --> 01:10:06,947
I...
898
01:10:07,024 --> 01:10:08,355
love...
899
01:10:08,425 --> 01:10:10,416
you.
900
01:10:26,710 --> 01:10:30,510
I'll remind you just as soon
as I change my nightgown.
901
01:10:39,390 --> 01:10:41,881
Lord Kensington,
Lady Kensington...
902
01:10:41,959 --> 01:10:43,893
may I present my wife, Louisa?
903
01:10:43,961 --> 01:10:45,895
- How do you do?
- So nice.
904
01:10:45,963 --> 01:10:47,897
- Delighted.
- How do you do?
905
01:10:47,965 --> 01:10:50,456
We're so happy
you could fly in for the evening.
906
01:10:50,534 --> 01:10:55,233
- I hope the two of you can come down to the abbey this weekend.
- Oh, we'd love to.
907
01:10:55,306 --> 01:10:58,241
Oh, but darling,
I haven't a thing to wear.
908
01:11:01,845 --> 01:11:07,044
- I'm reminding you to remind me to tell you that I love you.
- Thank you for reminding me.
909
01:11:08,118 --> 01:11:10,177
I'm reminding you...
910
01:11:10,254 --> 01:11:13,985
that you said to remind me
to tell me that you love me.
911
01:11:14,058 --> 01:11:16,788
Thank you for reminding me.
912
01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:19,021
Thank you.
913
01:11:24,435 --> 01:11:27,700
- I love you.
- I love you.
914
01:12:07,177 --> 01:12:11,170
- Why didn't he tell me before?
- Hello, darling. I'm sorry I'm late.
915
01:12:11,248 --> 01:12:14,342
Well you tell him that he's through.
This is total disaster.
916
01:12:14,418 --> 01:12:16,909
How could it possibly happen to me?
917
01:12:16,987 --> 01:12:19,080
- What happened?
- Louisa...
918
01:12:19,156 --> 01:12:21,647
ever since we got married,
I've been neglecting my business.
919
01:12:21,725 --> 01:12:26,424
I've been so much in love with you that I've paid
no attention to it at all. I've let it slide.
920
01:12:26,497 --> 01:12:31,730
- Well, I've just been reading these business reports.
- Are you faced with ruin?
921
01:12:31,802 --> 01:12:35,260
I am three times as rich
as I was the day we got married.
922
01:12:35,339 --> 01:12:37,273
Oh, no!
923
01:12:37,341 --> 01:12:41,277
Nobody triples the business
of Anderson Enterprises but Rod Anderson.
924
01:12:41,345 --> 01:12:43,643
Someone has been giving orders...
925
01:12:43,714 --> 01:12:46,649
somewhere,
somebody in my organization.
926
01:12:46,717 --> 01:12:48,651
Why, that's absolute treachery.
927
01:12:48,719 --> 01:12:52,120
Someone's been giving orders
behind my back! Imagine that?
928
01:12:52,189 --> 01:12:55,022
If I wanna lose a fortune,
I'll lose a fortune.
929
01:12:55,092 --> 01:12:59,552
If I wanna triple it, I'll triple it...
no one else.
930
01:12:59,630 --> 01:13:02,190
I'm gonna get to every one
of my offices all over the world...
931
01:13:02,266 --> 01:13:05,292
and I'm gonna find out
who's been running things behind my back.
932
01:13:05,369 --> 01:13:09,669
Triple it? How could he possibly triple it?
Who can the guy be?
933
01:13:09,740 --> 01:13:13,699
You spend years training employees,
executives, to serve you faithfully...
934
01:13:13,777 --> 01:13:17,304
and they stab you behind the back?
935
01:13:17,381 --> 01:13:20,976
That's loyalty for you.
Willard?
936
01:13:21,051 --> 01:13:25,181
Willard, you make arrangements
for trips to, uh, Sidney, Johannesburg...
937
01:13:25,255 --> 01:13:27,189
Hong Kong and Bombay.
938
01:13:27,257 --> 01:13:30,784
I'm looking for somebody,
and I'm not coming back until I find them.
939
01:13:30,861 --> 01:13:33,261
I knew there was no man to look for.
940
01:13:33,330 --> 01:13:35,491
It was only me
and my witch's curse.
941
01:13:37,234 --> 01:13:41,000
Sleep was impossible. Next morning,
Rod would go out of my life forever...
942
01:13:41,071 --> 01:13:43,539
and meet his doom somewhere.
943
01:13:43,607 --> 01:13:47,771
I was terrified.
I tried to think of a way to save him.
944
01:13:57,187 --> 01:14:01,487
"Melissa.
Happy days on his uncle's farm."
945
01:14:01,558 --> 01:14:04,994
The simple life.
946
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:21,409
- Moo.
- Hmm?
947
01:14:21,478 --> 01:14:24,606
Moo.
948
01:14:24,681 --> 01:14:27,172
Melissa?
949
01:14:27,251 --> 01:14:32,382
Melissa.
Mmm.
950
01:14:40,831 --> 01:14:43,629
We had a simple, modest little farm...
951
01:14:43,700 --> 01:14:46,897
two dozen leghorns for me to look after...
952
01:14:46,970 --> 01:14:51,771
and a cow named Melissa...
Melissa II... and a bull named Melrose.
953
01:14:51,842 --> 01:14:54,936
Well, Ma, how do I look?
954
01:14:55,012 --> 01:14:56,946
The neighbors all say I look real fine.
955
01:14:57,014 --> 01:14:59,915
Wonderful, Pa. Real elegant.
956
01:14:59,983 --> 01:15:02,975
Have one more nip of our local cider.
957
01:15:03,053 --> 01:15:06,716
Well, it's my fourth, and I'm not a drinkin'
man, but seein' as how it's welcomin' day...
958
01:15:06,790 --> 01:15:08,621
- here's to ya.
- Hey, thank ya.
959
01:15:08,692 --> 01:15:12,287
Good day, Mr. Anderson.
Good day, Mrs. Anderson.
960
01:15:12,362 --> 01:15:14,796
- Have another drink.
- No, I'm drivin'.
961
01:15:18,368 --> 01:15:21,132
- We'll see you, Rod.
- Come on. Get him up.
962
01:15:21,205 --> 01:15:24,072
- Come on. Let's get him to the wagon.
- Come on. Let's go.
963
01:15:24,141 --> 01:15:26,075
No more.
964
01:15:29,713 --> 01:15:34,173
I'm sure glad I listened to you.
965
01:15:34,251 --> 01:15:36,310
This is our first day here,
and already...
966
01:15:36,386 --> 01:15:39,412
I realize that this is what
I always wanted to come back to.
967
01:15:39,489 --> 01:15:43,425
And you made me do it.
968
01:15:43,493 --> 01:15:46,121
Uh-oh. Feedin' time.
969
01:15:46,196 --> 01:15:50,257
I'll go feed Melissa,
and you milk the chickens, huh?
970
01:15:50,334 --> 01:15:54,168
- I've been waitin' a lot of years for that.
- Can't it wait till tomorrow?
971
01:15:54,238 --> 01:15:57,483
That shows how much you know about farmin'.
You don't milk her now, and she'll be...
972
01:15:57,507 --> 01:15:59,805
mooin' all night long.
973
01:15:59,876 --> 01:16:01,867
Let's go.
974
01:16:14,124 --> 01:16:16,820
Hello, Melissa, baby.
975
01:16:16,893 --> 01:16:18,827
Oh, sw...
976
01:16:20,897 --> 01:16:23,331
How're you doing, honey?
977
01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:25,732
Just great, honey.
978
01:16:25,802 --> 01:16:29,033
'Atsa girl, Melissa, baby.
Mmm.
979
01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:36,069
Whoa, baby. Whoa, Melissa.
That's a girl.
980
01:16:38,215 --> 01:16:40,376
Melrose!
981
01:16:40,450 --> 01:16:42,384
Forgive me!
982
01:17:00,971 --> 01:17:04,065
"And all the rest of my holdings,
cash and securities..."
983
01:17:04,141 --> 01:17:06,075
Several months after the funeral...
984
01:17:06,143 --> 01:17:09,078
I had to listen
to the grim business details.
985
01:17:09,146 --> 01:17:13,515
Rod had sold out everything so quickly
that his fortune was pitifully reduced.
986
01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:16,279
It came to a mere $150 million.
987
01:17:16,353 --> 01:17:21,882
I felt alone and lost, and I was determined
to live alone for the rest of my life.
988
01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:25,951
It was the only fair thing to do.
989
01:17:47,818 --> 01:17:51,811
Isn't there any way
of getting a cup of coffee here?
990
01:17:51,888 --> 01:17:55,517
♪ Isn't there any way
of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪
991
01:17:55,592 --> 01:17:57,253
What's your name, Miss?
992
01:17:57,327 --> 01:17:59,795
Uh, Louisa May Hop...
993
01:17:59,863 --> 01:18:01,797
Hop...
994
01:18:01,865 --> 01:18:05,961
Hop... Fli... Anderson.
995
01:18:06,036 --> 01:18:09,028
♪ Isn't there any way
of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪
996
01:18:09,106 --> 01:18:13,133
♪ Asked Louisa May
Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson ♪
997
01:18:13,210 --> 01:18:16,839
♪ Pretty eyes, pretty hair
And she asked so clear ♪
998
01:18:16,913 --> 01:18:20,906
♪ Isn't there any way
of gettin' a cup of coffee here ♪♪
999
01:18:25,922 --> 01:18:28,584
Uh, Louisa May
Hop-Hop-Hop-Fli-Anderson, huh?
1000
01:18:28,658 --> 01:18:30,785
That's a funny name.
1001
01:18:32,362 --> 01:18:35,058
It's just Anderson.
1002
01:18:36,133 --> 01:18:39,159
Uh, please stay, Miss Anderson.
1003
01:18:39,236 --> 01:18:41,727
I'll get you a cup of coffee.
1004
01:18:41,805 --> 01:18:45,138
Clancy must... must be out back somewhere.
I'm in here all the time.
1005
01:18:46,209 --> 01:18:48,143
Say, uh...
1006
01:18:48,211 --> 01:18:50,543
I, uh... I hope you didn't think
I was being fresh.
1007
01:18:50,614 --> 01:18:52,741
That's just part of my act, you know.
1008
01:18:52,816 --> 01:18:55,361
I get a list of the customers' names
each night before the show...
1009
01:18:55,385 --> 01:18:58,548
and then I make up little rhymes
using all their names.
1010
01:18:58,622 --> 01:19:01,420
It's one my specialties,
that ad-lib stuff.
1011
01:19:01,491 --> 01:19:03,425
Coffee?
1012
01:19:03,493 --> 01:19:05,427
Sugar?
1013
01:19:05,495 --> 01:19:09,659
Danish?
Serve the Danish.
1014
01:19:09,733 --> 01:19:12,531
And for a big finale, a napkin.
1015
01:19:12,602 --> 01:19:15,230
There's our Pinky.
Always at it.
1016
01:19:15,305 --> 01:19:17,330
Pinky, ain't you ever off the floor?
1017
01:19:17,407 --> 01:19:19,466
Why, it's Herman Bodkin, I do declare...
1018
01:19:19,543 --> 01:19:22,068
and Ernie Wilkens
who's with him there.
1019
01:19:22,145 --> 01:19:25,308
I said with a grin,
"Ernie, your hair is gettin' thin,"
1020
01:19:25,382 --> 01:19:28,909
and Ernie answered,
"Who wants fat hair?"
1021
01:19:30,954 --> 01:19:35,254
- Ah, it's true.
I, uh, never seem to stop being on.
1022
01:19:35,325 --> 01:19:38,192
Oh, I liked it.
1023
01:19:38,261 --> 01:19:40,661
You performing around here?
1024
01:19:40,730 --> 01:19:44,291
Am I performing around here?
1025
01:19:45,368 --> 01:19:47,495
Look.
1026
01:19:49,506 --> 01:19:51,940
That's me... Pinky Benson.
1027
01:19:53,009 --> 01:19:55,102
- Can I get you anything else?
- Mm-mm.
1028
01:19:55,178 --> 01:19:58,079
- It's on me.
- No, thank you.
1029
01:19:59,149 --> 01:20:01,083
- What's doin'?
- I got it, Clance.
1030
01:20:01,151 --> 01:20:03,551
Thank you.
1031
01:20:03,620 --> 01:20:07,556
Say, uh, if you're not busy later,
would you like to watch my act?
1032
01:20:08,959 --> 01:20:11,189
I hadn't decided what to do later.
1033
01:20:11,261 --> 01:20:15,220
I even thought of staying in this town
for a few days till I made up my mind.
1034
01:20:15,298 --> 01:20:17,528
Well?
1035
01:20:19,669 --> 01:20:23,628
Well, uh...
1036
01:20:23,706 --> 01:20:26,106
- Well, sure. I'll come.
- Good.
1037
01:20:26,175 --> 01:20:28,666
Um, I gotta kinda rush
over there right now.
1038
01:20:28,745 --> 01:20:32,306
It takes me two hours for my props
and to put on my costume and makeup.
1039
01:20:32,382 --> 01:20:35,010
Oh. Really?
How's it going?
1040
01:20:35,084 --> 01:20:39,817
Well, the management must love me.
I've been playing there for 14 years.
1041
01:20:42,292 --> 01:20:44,226
See you later.
1042
01:20:50,033 --> 01:20:52,297
Who ordered the well-done,
green peas, succotash?
1043
01:20:52,368 --> 01:20:54,802
- Here. Over here.
- Medium-well.
1044
01:20:54,871 --> 01:20:57,499
- Side of spinach.
- Hey. I ordered the creamed spinach.
1045
01:20:57,574 --> 01:21:02,671
Ah, that's better for you. No cholesterol.
Mashed potatoes, well-done.
1046
01:21:02,745 --> 01:21:07,079
- One rare, hashed brown!
- I ordered French fries. Take it back!
1047
01:21:07,150 --> 01:21:09,710
- Ah, you always make such a fuss.
- Ah, shut up!
1048
01:21:09,786 --> 01:21:15,554
I agree. But stuff yourself, honey.
No man wants a fistful of bones.
1049
01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:20,892
- Okay! Okay! Here he is...
for your dinner pleasure...
1050
01:21:20,964 --> 01:21:25,992
Jersey City's own uh-Pinky uh-Benson!
1051
01:21:31,975 --> 01:21:34,705
Well, good evening, friends and neighbors.
1052
01:21:34,777 --> 01:21:38,713
Hey, who do we have here
with us tonight? The Shimkins.
1053
01:21:38,781 --> 01:21:43,878
Rosie Shimkin was able to get a ringside
table. She's wearing a rose in her hat.
1054
01:21:43,953 --> 01:21:47,514
And with her is her husband,
Matt. And that is that.
1055
01:21:47,590 --> 01:21:51,026
Dennis Horner is sittin' over there
in the corner. Hiya, Dennis!
1056
01:21:51,094 --> 01:21:54,120
And Peggy Norton...
Peggy Norton and her sister Min.
1057
01:21:54,197 --> 01:21:57,496
Chewin' on those bones like Rin Tin Tin.
1058
01:21:57,567 --> 01:22:00,434
So, welcome, all!
Welcome, one.
1059
01:22:00,503 --> 01:22:03,631
Lend an ear and have some fun.
1060
01:22:03,706 --> 01:22:09,076
♪ I think that you and I
should get acquainted ♪
1061
01:22:09,145 --> 01:22:12,876
- ♪ I'll just come up to you and
ask your name ♪ - What I say is live...
1062
01:22:12,949 --> 01:22:16,749
- ♪ I'll tell you mine, and I'll say, Isn't
the weather fine ♪ - and leave me alone.
1063
01:22:16,819 --> 01:22:21,313
♪ And aren't you really glad
so glad that you came ♪
1064
01:22:21,391 --> 01:22:25,452
♪ Then after you and I
become acquainted ♪
1065
01:22:25,528 --> 01:22:29,521
♪ I'll ask you
if you'd like to stay a while ♪
1066
01:22:29,599 --> 01:22:33,365
♪ You'll say you would
You'll give me a smile ♪
1067
01:22:33,436 --> 01:22:37,736
♪ Oh, goody-good
You'll make my evenin' worthwhile ♪
1068
01:22:37,807 --> 01:22:41,743
♪ Before our little rendezvous ends ♪
1069
01:22:41,811 --> 01:22:45,303
♪ We won't just be acquainted ♪
1070
01:22:45,381 --> 01:22:49,408
♪ We'll be
the very very best of friends ♪♪
1071
01:23:10,807 --> 01:23:15,141
- I could see
why the management loved him.
1072
01:23:15,211 --> 01:23:20,148
He didn't interfere one bit
with the sale of food and liquor.
1073
01:23:49,178 --> 01:23:52,409
It was the worst act I'd ever seen.
1074
01:23:52,482 --> 01:23:55,007
Just looking at Pinky
made me want to cry.
1075
01:23:55,084 --> 01:23:57,314
But he was so happy and untroubled.
1076
01:23:57,386 --> 01:24:00,116
And I feel at home here,
as you can see.
1077
01:24:00,189 --> 01:24:04,148
And in all the 14 years,
you've never wanted to play anywhere else?
1078
01:24:04,227 --> 01:24:06,991
- Oh, you mean, uh, the big time?
- Mm-hmm.
1079
01:24:07,063 --> 01:24:11,466
Boy, why does everybody seem to think
you have to wanna play the big time?
1080
01:24:11,534 --> 01:24:13,968
Why?
You get to the top of the ladder...
1081
01:24:14,036 --> 01:24:16,834
you're a slave to your fans,
you got no life of your own.
1082
01:24:16,906 --> 01:24:20,808
Then you gotta start worryin' about
staying up there. Oh, no. Not for me.
1083
01:24:20,877 --> 01:24:23,209
I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
1084
01:24:23,279 --> 01:24:26,248
And you know what?
I teach dancing to kids in the daytime.
1085
01:24:26,315 --> 01:24:30,081
- That's nice.
- Yeah. My, uh... My wife wanted me to get ahead.
1086
01:24:30,153 --> 01:24:34,419
She wanted me to get an agent, press agent,
publicity, audition, push, push, push.
1087
01:24:34,490 --> 01:24:37,857
- Your wife?
- Yeah. I was married once. We were... We were a team.
1088
01:24:37,927 --> 01:24:40,623
She always wanted to be way up there,
so I let her go.
1089
01:24:40,696 --> 01:24:44,723
- And today
that woman is Greta Garbo.
1090
01:24:44,801 --> 01:24:49,500
Nah. She married a guy with a lotta dough
and she left the business.
1091
01:24:49,572 --> 01:24:52,200
I don't blame her.
1092
01:24:52,275 --> 01:24:54,470
I don't blame her at all.
1093
01:24:55,745 --> 01:24:59,875
I was just a guy who wanted
the simple kinda life.
1094
01:25:02,351 --> 01:25:04,285
♪ And that's the story of my life ♪
1095
01:25:04,353 --> 01:25:07,880
♪ As told to Louisa May Hop-Hop-Hop ♪
1096
01:25:07,957 --> 01:25:10,357
♪ Hop-Fli-Anderson
Boom Boom, Be-Doom Be-Doom ♪♪
1097
01:25:12,728 --> 01:25:15,959
Oh.
1098
01:25:32,148 --> 01:25:36,448
Louisa May Hop-Fli-Anderson Benson.
1099
01:25:36,519 --> 01:25:38,885
Yes. We were married...
happily married.
1100
01:25:38,955 --> 01:25:42,220
And we lived on our lovely houseboat
on the Hudson.
1101
01:25:42,291 --> 01:25:44,953
I told him I had a great deal
of money somewhere...
1102
01:25:45,027 --> 01:25:46,995
but both of us
forgot all about it.
1103
01:25:47,063 --> 01:25:50,226
Ho! ♪ Good mornin', Mrs. Benson
Good mornin' to you ♪
1104
01:25:50,299 --> 01:25:52,927
♪ Good mornin', Mrs. Benson
How do you do ♪
1105
01:25:53,002 --> 01:25:55,971
♪ I'll give you just one kiss
Then I'll stop ♪
1106
01:25:56,038 --> 01:25:59,371
♪ 'Cause I gotta give our little boat
a mop, mop, mop ♪♪
1107
01:26:04,714 --> 01:26:07,376
As I look back on it now...
1108
01:26:07,450 --> 01:26:10,283
our life together
was like a gay musical number...
1109
01:26:10,353 --> 01:26:13,288
from one of those big,
Hollywood movie musicals.
1110
01:26:13,356 --> 01:26:17,452
♪ On our little houseboat ♪
1111
01:26:17,526 --> 01:26:23,055
♪ Built for two ♪
1112
01:26:24,133 --> 01:26:28,092
♪ Tiny little houseboat ♪
1113
01:26:28,170 --> 01:26:32,106
♪ Just for me ♪
1114
01:26:32,174 --> 01:26:35,735
♪ And you ♪
1115
01:26:47,556 --> 01:26:52,289
♪ All alone together ♪
1116
01:26:52,361 --> 01:26:56,229
♪ Only me ♪
1117
01:26:56,299 --> 01:27:00,827
♪ And yo-o-ou ♪
1118
01:27:00,903 --> 01:27:06,864
♪ My Darling ♪
1119
01:27:06,943 --> 01:27:10,743
♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson
Alone, alone together ♪
1120
01:27:10,813 --> 01:27:14,476
♪ Life is rosy on the Hudson
in any brand of weather ♪
1121
01:27:14,550 --> 01:27:18,077
♪ Far from city streets
and far from hills of heather ♪
1122
01:27:18,154 --> 01:27:21,453
♪ Lovin', singin', dancin'
all of the time ♪
1123
01:27:21,524 --> 01:27:23,685
♪ Well, heigh-ho, let's go ♪
1124
01:27:23,759 --> 01:27:25,693
♪ Life is just a vaudeville show ♪
1125
01:27:25,761 --> 01:27:27,695
- ♪ Sing and dance ♪
- ♪Take a chance ♪
1126
01:28:31,627 --> 01:28:35,188
♪ All alone together ♪
1127
01:28:35,264 --> 01:28:38,529
♪ Only me ♪
1128
01:28:38,601 --> 01:28:41,729
- ♪And you ♪
♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone ♪
1129
01:28:41,804 --> 01:28:46,605
♪ Alone together, life is rosy
on the Hudson in any brand of weather ♪
1130
01:28:46,675 --> 01:28:50,111
♪ Far from city streets
and far from hills of heather ♪
1131
01:28:50,179 --> 01:28:53,637
♪ Lovin', singin',
dancin' all of the time ♪
1132
01:28:53,716 --> 01:28:58,483
♪ Lovin', singin', dancin'
all of the time ♪
1133
01:30:04,720 --> 01:30:07,211
♪ On our houseboat on the Hudson, alone ♪
1134
01:30:07,289 --> 01:30:11,555
♪ Alone together, life is rosy
on the Hudson in any brand of weather ♪
1135
01:30:11,627 --> 01:30:15,324
♪ Far from city streets
and far from hills of heather ♪
1136
01:30:15,397 --> 01:30:20,357
♪ Lovin', singin', dancin' all of the ♪
1137
01:30:20,436 --> 01:30:23,599
♪ Time ♪
1138
01:30:23,672 --> 01:30:27,335
♪ Oh, anchors aweigh
and hit the deck, Louisa ♪
1139
01:30:27,409 --> 01:30:30,970
♪ It's ship ahoy
We're on the town with you ♪
1140
01:30:31,046 --> 01:30:34,812
♪ You follow the fleet
and tars and spars, Louisa ♪
1141
01:30:34,884 --> 01:30:38,513
♪ For us you are the captain
and the crew ♪
1142
01:30:46,262 --> 01:30:49,891
♪ Oh, how we love Louisa ♪
1143
01:30:49,965 --> 01:30:53,366
♪ Oh, how we love Louisa ♪
1144
01:30:53,435 --> 01:30:59,396
♪ She's sent from heaven up above ♪
1145
01:31:00,476 --> 01:31:03,934
♪ Just like the tower of Pisa ♪
1146
01:31:04,013 --> 01:31:06,948
♪ There's only one Louisa ♪
1147
01:31:07,016 --> 01:31:10,713
♪ L-O ♪
1148
01:31:10,786 --> 01:31:14,222
♪ V-E ♪
1149
01:31:14,290 --> 01:31:19,455
♪ Love ♪♪
1150
01:31:27,169 --> 01:31:30,229
Love.
1151
01:31:30,339 --> 01:31:33,502
Then it began to happen.
1152
01:31:33,576 --> 01:31:37,740
We were planning a birthday party
for Pinky after the last show.
1153
01:31:37,813 --> 01:31:40,782
Well, I guess we got everything:
the hot dogs, the rolls, and...
1154
01:31:40,849 --> 01:31:43,818
- Hey! Look at the clock. I gotta get made up.
- Oh, you've got time.
1155
01:31:43,886 --> 01:31:46,320
No. I don't.
I have less than two hours.
1156
01:31:46,388 --> 01:31:50,188
It takes you two hours to get out of
that makeup. You'll be late for your party.
1157
01:31:50,259 --> 01:31:53,717
- Couldn't you just skip it?
- Skip the performance?
1158
01:31:53,796 --> 01:31:56,765
No. Skip the makeup, I mean.
Do it just as you are.
1159
01:31:56,832 --> 01:31:58,944
Oh, don't be silly, darling.
The makeup's the whole act.
1160
01:31:58,968 --> 01:32:01,163
- Here's the bucket of lemonade, Pinky.
- Thank you.
1161
01:32:01,237 --> 01:32:05,333
Thank you.
Mr. Trentino, because of the party...
1162
01:32:05,407 --> 01:32:09,639
would it be all right if... if Pinky went
on tonight without putting on all his stuff?
1163
01:32:09,712 --> 01:32:13,375
Sure! You don't wanna miss
your own birthday party.
1164
01:32:13,449 --> 01:32:16,077
- Okay, honey?
- Oh, uh...
1165
01:32:16,151 --> 01:32:18,847
I'll feel... I'll feel naked. I...
1166
01:32:18,921 --> 01:32:21,583
Well, leave out the verses too.
1167
01:32:21,657 --> 01:32:24,319
Leave out the verses?
1168
01:32:24,393 --> 01:32:26,327
Just this once.
1169
01:32:28,530 --> 01:32:32,728
Well, all right,
on account of the party, but...
1170
01:32:32,801 --> 01:32:35,133
I feel funny. I...
1171
01:32:35,204 --> 01:32:37,934
I'm gonna lay an awful egg.
1172
01:32:38,007 --> 01:32:39,985
- And now for your enjoyment...
- Who ordered the well-done...
1173
01:32:40,009 --> 01:32:43,001
- New Jersey's own ha-ha boy...
- green peas, succotash?
1174
01:32:43,078 --> 01:32:45,569
- Uh-Pinky uh-Benson!
- Let's get outta here.
1175
01:32:45,648 --> 01:32:48,640
Waiter, check!
1176
01:32:51,120 --> 01:32:55,318
Well, I...
1177
01:32:55,391 --> 01:32:57,621
Frankie dropped him
in the second...
1178
01:32:57,693 --> 01:32:59,991
- because I said, "Hey..."
- It was the fifth.
1179
01:33:00,062 --> 01:33:02,895
- I was there.
- Mr. Trentino, may we have some relish?
1180
01:33:02,965 --> 01:33:04,899
Sure. Help yourself.
1181
01:33:04,967 --> 01:33:08,664
- One rare, hashed brown.
- I ordered French fries!
1182
01:33:13,609 --> 01:33:18,740
- ♪ I think that you and I should get
acquainted ♪ - Who ordered the well-done?
1183
01:33:18,814 --> 01:33:23,274
♪ I'll just come up to you
and ask your name ♪
1184
01:33:23,352 --> 01:33:28,483
♪ I'll tell you mine,
I'll say isn't the weather fine ♪
1185
01:33:28,557 --> 01:33:34,018
- ♪And aren't you really glad
so glad that you came ♪
1186
01:33:34,096 --> 01:33:39,432
- ♪Then after you and I
become acquainted ♪
1187
01:33:39,501 --> 01:33:41,992
♪ I'll ask you if you'd like to stay ♪
1188
01:33:42,071 --> 01:33:44,699
- #A while #
- Hey, doc.
1189
01:33:44,773 --> 01:33:47,071
- Who do you got... Sh!
- ♪You'll say you would ♪
1190
01:33:47,142 --> 01:33:49,076
♪ You'll give me a smile ♪
1191
01:33:49,144 --> 01:33:54,844
♪ Aw, goody-good
You'll make my evenin' worthwhile ♪
1192
01:33:54,917 --> 01:34:00,082
♪ And before our little rendezvous ends ♪
1193
01:34:00,155 --> 01:34:04,717
♪ We won't be just acquainted ♪
1194
01:34:04,793 --> 01:34:09,890
♪ We'll be the very very best of friends ♪♪
1195
01:35:12,693 --> 01:35:14,786
Bravo! Bravo!
1196
01:35:16,564 --> 01:35:18,555
Bravo!
1197
01:35:42,056 --> 01:35:46,288
♪ I think that you and I
should get acquainted ♪♪
1198
01:35:49,063 --> 01:35:51,031
I've grown accustomed to this place.
1199
01:35:58,239 --> 01:36:00,867
What! Caesar!
1200
01:36:00,942 --> 01:36:03,240
- Cut. Print.
- Magnificent, Pinky.
1201
01:36:03,311 --> 01:36:06,940
- Wonderful, Pinky.
- Magnificent. I'll never direct a better actor.
1202
01:36:07,014 --> 01:36:11,144
- And to think they wanted to
put that Welshman in the part.
1203
01:36:18,326 --> 01:36:20,487
Well, I was still near water...
1204
01:36:20,561 --> 01:36:23,689
sitting by our beautiful
Hollywood pool alone.
1205
01:36:23,764 --> 01:36:26,392
I had done it again,
and I had lost Pinky...
1206
01:36:26,467 --> 01:36:30,528
lost him to fame, fortune, his agents,
publicity men, secretaries...
1207
01:36:30,605 --> 01:36:32,664
and his adoring fans.
1208
01:36:32,740 --> 01:36:35,641
How about my preview
in Westwood last night, huh?
1209
01:36:35,710 --> 01:36:38,042
- What a gas.
- Sure was, Pinky.
1210
01:36:38,112 --> 01:36:42,344
All those Pinky Benson fans
screaming, yelling, crying...
1211
01:36:42,416 --> 01:36:46,853
Ah-ha. The little people.
I love 'em. I love 'em.
1212
01:36:46,921 --> 01:36:49,481
And if the studio
tries to cut one minute of that film...
1213
01:36:49,557 --> 01:36:52,754
I'm gonna burn that nuthouse
to the ground.
1214
01:36:52,827 --> 01:36:56,354
Five and a half hours is not too long
for a Pinky Benson fan.
1215
01:36:56,430 --> 01:36:58,398
Yes, Mr. Benson.
1216
01:36:58,466 --> 01:37:02,334
Now, about the premiere.
Everybody on the ball. See?
1217
01:37:04,105 --> 01:37:06,039
Hi, Louisa.
1218
01:37:06,107 --> 01:37:09,440
Hi, Pinky.
Going in for a dip?
1219
01:37:09,510 --> 01:37:11,501
No. I'm goin' to Brown Derby.
1220
01:37:11,579 --> 01:37:13,604
I got a business luncheon
with these creeps.
1221
01:37:13,681 --> 01:37:16,673
- Ciao, baby.
- Ain't you gonna change?
1222
01:37:16,751 --> 01:37:20,312
- What for?
- You know you can't get in the Derby without a tie on.
1223
01:37:20,388 --> 01:37:23,186
Geez.
1224
01:37:23,257 --> 01:37:26,715
And Pinky, after lunch you gotta
tape a speech to send to Jersey City.
1225
01:37:26,794 --> 01:37:29,820
- Yeah, you told me. What's it for?
- Pinky Benson Day.
1226
01:37:29,897 --> 01:37:31,888
Big ceremony in your honor.
1227
01:37:31,966 --> 01:37:36,733
Citizens are getting together to paint the
front of the house you were born in in pink.
1228
01:37:36,804 --> 01:37:39,068
Yeah?
1229
01:37:39,140 --> 01:37:42,632
Gee. That's kinda sweet.
1230
01:37:42,710 --> 01:37:47,477
- I wonder who thought o' that?
- I did.
1231
01:37:47,548 --> 01:37:51,279
Yeah? Well, here's an idea from me.
What's the matter with this place?
1232
01:37:51,352 --> 01:37:53,946
The fans in the busses
go by here every afternoon.
1233
01:37:54,021 --> 01:37:57,457
Let's let 'em know without a doubt
which house is Pinky's house!
1234
01:38:50,211 --> 01:38:53,271
Yes. Yes, it is! Pinky Benson.
1235
01:38:53,347 --> 01:38:56,805
He's arriving in his famous,
all-pink Rolls-Royce.
1236
01:38:56,884 --> 01:38:59,182
Oh, I've never seen anything like this.
1237
01:38:59,253 --> 01:39:03,019
I've covered the biggestof all premieres: Ben-Hur, Cleopatra.
1238
01:39:03,090 --> 01:39:06,651
But this, Flaming Lips...
this is the biggest of them all.
1239
01:39:06,727 --> 01:39:09,628
All the greats in show business
are here tonight...
1240
01:39:09,697 --> 01:39:11,892
the great and the near-great...
1241
01:39:11,966 --> 01:39:14,526
and all the little people...
1242
01:39:14,602 --> 01:39:18,038
awaiting the premiereof Flaming Lips.
1243
01:39:18,105 --> 01:39:24,066
Mrs. Pinky Benson seems to be wearing
a pink... all-pink chinchilla coat.
1244
01:39:24,145 --> 01:39:27,911
Now he's introducing
Mrs. Pinky Benson to the crowd.
1245
01:39:27,982 --> 01:39:30,473
Oh, this is fabulous.
1246
01:39:35,890 --> 01:39:39,621
The crowd is roaring so much. I hope
you can hear me, ladies and gentlemen.
1247
01:39:39,694 --> 01:39:41,685
I have never seen
a premiere like this.
1248
01:39:41,762 --> 01:39:44,253
And now they're going
into the theater, as Pinky Benson...
1249
01:39:44,331 --> 01:39:46,731
Tonight, in Flaming Lips,
Pinky Benson proved...
1250
01:39:46,801 --> 01:39:49,998
that a comedy
can run five and a half hours.
1251
01:39:50,071 --> 01:39:54,337
Earlier today, Pinky told us his next film
will run seven and a half hours.
1252
01:39:54,408 --> 01:39:56,753
- Listen to that applause!
- Oh, Pinky, baby, you were right.
1253
01:39:56,777 --> 01:39:59,473
- This is a gas!
- This is the greatest thing you've ever done.
1254
01:39:59,547 --> 01:40:02,243
I don't ever want to direct
another actor for the rest of my life.
1255
01:40:02,316 --> 01:40:05,911
Thank you, pal. Let's get rid of that
creep. I'll direct the next one myself.
1256
01:40:05,986 --> 01:40:08,978
This picture is a cinch to do 50 million
at the box office.
1257
01:40:09,056 --> 01:40:11,081
- Yeah. Too bad I only get half of that.
- Yeah.
1258
01:40:11,158 --> 01:40:14,252
And the studio wants you to co-star
with Frank, Marlon and Cary...
1259
01:40:14,328 --> 01:40:16,796
- in a remake of The Four Horsemen.
- Well!
1260
01:40:16,864 --> 01:40:20,766
- Why should I carry those deadweights? I'll play all four.
- We want Pinky!
1261
01:40:20,835 --> 01:40:23,475
- And he can do it too.
- Let's get out of here. The mob is coming.
1262
01:40:23,537 --> 01:40:28,133
- Break it up. Break it up. Everybody outta the way.
- We want Pinky! We want Pinky!
1263
01:40:28,209 --> 01:40:31,110
Mr. Benson, you was divine!
1264
01:40:31,178 --> 01:40:35,979
- Just divine!
- And now, coming to our cameras, the co-star of Flaming Lips...
1265
01:40:36,050 --> 01:40:39,577
Miss Linda Putty...
another Pinky Benson discovery.
1266
01:40:39,653 --> 01:40:44,022
Making new discoveries
is the basis of our industry.
1267
01:40:44,091 --> 01:40:46,025
And now,
coming to our microphone...
1268
01:40:46,093 --> 01:40:51,190
here she is, Mrs. Pinky Benson.
1269
01:40:51,265 --> 01:40:53,995
My wife has always been my inspiration.
1270
01:40:54,068 --> 01:40:56,059
Pinky, we'll never get out
the front way.
1271
01:40:56,137 --> 01:40:59,732
- Why don't you just slip out the side way, darling?
- Yes. I guess so. But I...
1272
01:40:59,807 --> 01:41:01,741
I hate to do this to them.
1273
01:41:01,809 --> 01:41:04,004
After all, I'm what they came to see.
1274
01:41:04,078 --> 01:41:07,309
- Yeah. We know. Come on. This way.
- Let's go, Pinky. That's all.
1275
01:41:07,381 --> 01:41:11,147
We want Pinky! We want Pinky!
1276
01:41:11,218 --> 01:41:17,179
The little people.
I love 'em. Love 'em.
1277
01:41:22,329 --> 01:41:25,059
Ah, bless 'em.
I can't let 'em down.
1278
01:41:25,132 --> 01:41:28,295
After all, I'm the stuff
their dreams are made of.
1279
01:41:28,369 --> 01:41:31,065
I belong to them.
1280
01:41:31,138 --> 01:41:33,902
Hey, fellas. Fellas!
1281
01:41:33,974 --> 01:41:38,502
Look who's here.
It's me. It's your Pinky!
1282
01:41:39,580 --> 01:41:41,878
Look! It's Pinky!
1283
01:41:41,949 --> 01:41:46,648
Pinky! Pinky!
1284
01:42:33,834 --> 01:42:37,099
Ah, yes, Miss Benson.
I know. I know.
1285
01:42:37,171 --> 01:42:40,800
But it's "Willsville Time in Dixie,"
and we've gotta face the facts...
1286
01:42:40,875 --> 01:42:42,809
death wise, that is.
1287
01:42:42,877 --> 01:42:46,779
So I'm gonna give it to you short
and sweet. You get all the moo. All of it.
1288
01:42:46,847 --> 01:42:48,781
But there's one catch.
1289
01:42:50,684 --> 01:42:55,553
"And so I order to be built the Pinky Benson
Memorial Museum, dedicated to my fans...
1290
01:42:55,623 --> 01:42:59,252
"and within it will be preserved
all my dancing shoes dipped in bronze...
1291
01:42:59,326 --> 01:43:02,090
"and a giant gold replica of my larynx.
1292
01:43:02,162 --> 01:43:04,926
"A permanent, pink light
will burn before my statue...
1293
01:43:04,999 --> 01:43:10,027
"and in the 15,000-seat auditorium,
my pictures will run 24 hours a day.
1294
01:43:10,104 --> 01:43:14,632
Everything else I bequeath to my wife,
Louisa May Benson."
1295
01:43:16,243 --> 01:43:17,972
Pinky was right.
1296
01:43:18,045 --> 01:43:20,172
He did belong to his fans...
1297
01:43:20,247 --> 01:43:22,477
forever.
1298
01:43:22,549 --> 01:43:25,780
He was such a sweet man
when I met him.
1299
01:43:25,853 --> 01:43:29,482
- And then came...
- Well, that's all.
1300
01:43:29,556 --> 01:43:32,719
Why? Isn't that enough?
1301
01:43:32,793 --> 01:43:34,920
Oh, I was left
with another $30 million...
1302
01:43:34,995 --> 01:43:39,591
and I flew right here to Washington
and that brings us up to date.
1303
01:43:39,667 --> 01:43:43,626
And I'm gonna give that money away. The government's
not gonna stop me either, and neither are you.
1304
01:43:44,638 --> 01:43:47,266
Please answer my question,
Dr. Steffanson.
1305
01:43:47,341 --> 01:43:50,777
Am I a witch, or am I not?
1306
01:43:54,014 --> 01:43:57,814
Well, you haven't said anything
for the last two husbands.
1307
01:44:01,989 --> 01:44:05,618
- Well, you're not even listening to me.
- Uh, who? Uh, what?
1308
01:44:05,693 --> 01:44:08,025
- Well, you're an analyst!
- Huh?
1309
01:44:08,095 --> 01:44:10,757
- Analyze!
- Oh, that. Yes.
1310
01:44:10,831 --> 01:44:13,356
Uh, now, let me see.
Um, you... you got married...
1311
01:44:13,434 --> 01:44:16,335
to four men for love, mm-hmm?
1312
01:44:16,403 --> 01:44:18,598
All of them were doomed
to success and extinction.
1313
01:44:18,672 --> 01:44:21,698
There was Hopper, Flint,
Anderson and... and Benson.
1314
01:44:21,775 --> 01:44:25,438
And one man... one man you hated.
That was Leonard Crawley.
1315
01:44:25,512 --> 01:44:28,003
Well, that's a very strong emotion, hate.
1316
01:44:28,082 --> 01:44:30,448
Say, you... I think, for...
1317
01:44:30,517 --> 01:44:33,384
Wait a minute. What do you expect of me?
Instant analysis?
1318
01:44:33,454 --> 01:44:37,083
Why-Why your case might take
24 hours a day for the next 50 years.
1319
01:44:37,157 --> 01:44:39,717
In other words, Louisa...
1320
01:44:40,794 --> 01:44:43,888
would you marry me?
1321
01:44:43,964 --> 01:44:47,627
- Dr. Steffanson...
- If it's simplicity you want, you should see my apartment.
1322
01:44:47,701 --> 01:44:52,104
I'm a dedicated man of science,
and I'm so tired washing out my own socks.
1323
01:44:52,172 --> 01:44:54,106
What do you say, Louisa?
1324
01:44:54,174 --> 01:45:00,135
- Victor, I'm honored that you'd risk your life for me.
- Thank you.
1325
01:45:00,214 --> 01:45:03,706
But it isn't fair.
I simply don't love you.
1326
01:45:03,784 --> 01:45:05,752
No?
1327
01:45:05,819 --> 01:45:09,721
But would you mail my check in
for me anyway?
1328
01:45:09,790 --> 01:45:11,985
Oh, please don't feel so bad.
1329
01:45:12,059 --> 01:45:14,357
Maybe you helped me after all.
1330
01:45:14,428 --> 01:45:18,296
I said "yes" to four men and I said
"no" to you. Isn't that progress?
1331
01:45:18,365 --> 01:45:20,299
Of a sorts, I guess.
1332
01:45:20,367 --> 01:45:23,666
You see, after listening
to my accumulated life story...
1333
01:45:23,737 --> 01:45:26,501
you naturally assumed
that I'd say "yes."
1334
01:45:26,573 --> 01:45:29,269
But you were wrong.
1335
01:45:29,343 --> 01:45:31,334
- Wrong?
- Yes.
1336
01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:34,142
I was wrong.
1337
01:45:34,214 --> 01:45:38,207
I... I have the strangest...
tingling sensation in my...
1338
01:45:40,487 --> 01:45:43,081
Dr. Stef... Victor, are you all right?
1339
01:45:43,157 --> 01:45:45,250
Wake up, Doctor! Oh, dear.
1340
01:45:45,325 --> 01:45:48,385
How do I get... I've got to... Oh!
1341
01:45:48,462 --> 01:45:51,158
- Oh, please help me.
- Oh, excuse me. I, uh...
1342
01:45:51,231 --> 01:45:54,826
Would you please press that button
and let this thing down?
1343
01:45:54,902 --> 01:45:57,336
Dr. Steffanson.
1344
01:46:09,550 --> 01:46:12,951
Ma'am, I...
What? Louisa?
1345
01:46:14,088 --> 01:46:17,023
- Leonard Crawley!
- Mm.
1346
01:46:17,091 --> 01:46:19,525
What happened to the doctor?
1347
01:46:19,593 --> 01:46:22,323
Uh, he fell off.
1348
01:46:22,396 --> 01:46:24,330
Well, he always does.
1349
01:46:24,398 --> 01:46:28,101
Dr. Steffanson.
1350
01:46:30,770 --> 01:46:34,262
Doctor? Doctor.
1351
01:46:35,608 --> 01:46:38,076
- Leonard.
- Hmm?
1352
01:46:38,144 --> 01:46:40,078
- You're the custodian here.
- What?
1353
01:46:40,146 --> 01:46:43,172
Now, look, Louisa,
let's call a spade a spade.
1354
01:46:43,249 --> 01:46:46,412
- I'm the janitor here.
- Oh, how awful!
1355
01:46:46,486 --> 01:46:50,820
Oh, no, no, no. I deserved it.
You know..."poetic justice" it's called.
1356
01:46:50,890 --> 01:46:54,621
- But in a way, I ruined your life too.
- Oh, no. You made it.
1357
01:46:54,694 --> 01:46:58,994
In fact, you know, when I lost everything,
I just began to live.
1358
01:46:59,065 --> 01:47:01,363
And... And I'll always
be grateful to you...
1359
01:47:01,434 --> 01:47:03,994
and your friend.
1360
01:47:04,070 --> 01:47:06,903
- Thoreau!
- Mm-hmm. He said, "Simplify."
1361
01:47:06,973 --> 01:47:09,965
And you can't get much more simpler
than bein' a janitor.
1362
01:47:11,577 --> 01:47:13,511
- Leonard.
- Mm-hmm?
1363
01:47:13,579 --> 01:47:16,480
You're the only man in the world
I ever really hated.
1364
01:47:17,550 --> 01:47:20,018
Hate's a very strong emotion,
you know?
1365
01:47:20,086 --> 01:47:23,613
But I think the thing
I hated most was that I knew...
1366
01:47:23,689 --> 01:47:26,214
that deep down,
under that small-town emperor...
1367
01:47:26,292 --> 01:47:29,352
there was a human being
that I wanted to know...
1368
01:47:29,428 --> 01:47:31,919
and you wouldn't let come out.
1369
01:47:55,788 --> 01:47:57,722
Leonard, lunch!
1370
01:47:57,790 --> 01:48:01,226
- Hey, Mom.
- All right, honey. Now, you spread these around.
1371
01:48:01,294 --> 01:48:03,785
Jonathan, lunch!
1372
01:48:06,199 --> 01:48:09,168
Hey. Look, Mom.
Look what I caught.
1373
01:48:09,235 --> 01:48:12,227
- Sharks!
- Well. Wonderful. We'll have these for dinner.
1374
01:48:12,305 --> 01:48:14,239
Now, help your brother.
1375
01:48:14,307 --> 01:48:18,300
Geraldine, lunch, honey!
1376
01:48:19,779 --> 01:48:24,944
- Now, don't you drop this.
- What do you think I am, a baby?
1377
01:48:25,017 --> 01:48:29,954
All right. All right. Help is on the way.
1378
01:48:35,094 --> 01:48:37,790
- Here's the chair, Mom.
- Okay.
1379
01:48:37,863 --> 01:48:42,562
- All right, children. You can start your milk now.
- Aren't we gonna wait for Daddy?
1380
01:48:42,635 --> 01:48:45,798
Nope. Daddy's finishing the plowing
he started this morning.
1381
01:48:50,743 --> 01:48:55,476
- And the princess had
four beautiful children:
1382
01:48:55,548 --> 01:49:01,509
Leonard and Jonathan
and Geraldine and Butch.
1383
01:49:01,587 --> 01:49:05,614
And they all lived happily ever after.
1384
01:49:30,449 --> 01:49:32,383
Louisa!
1385
01:49:32,451 --> 01:49:34,510
Louisa!
1386
01:49:34,587 --> 01:49:37,613
It's oil! It's oil!
1387
01:49:37,690 --> 01:49:42,354
Louisa! Look! It's oil.
It's oil! Look at it.
1388
01:49:44,363 --> 01:49:47,821
It... can't be happening.
It can't be true.
1389
01:49:47,900 --> 01:49:50,130
It can't be happening!
1390
01:49:50,202 --> 01:49:56,038
But it is, Louisa. It's real.
1391
01:49:56,108 --> 01:49:58,906
Hey! Look at this. It's real! It's oil!
1392
01:49:58,978 --> 01:50:00,912
You bet it's real.
And it's ours!
1393
01:50:00,980 --> 01:50:03,141
- Yours?
- Yes, you idiot! It belongs to us.
1394
01:50:03,215 --> 01:50:06,048
You punched a hole in our pipeline.
1395
01:50:06,118 --> 01:50:08,416
- It's not ours?
- No. It's ours!
1396
01:50:15,461 --> 01:50:19,397
My wonderful, wonderful failure.
118445
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.