All language subtitles for flowers.s02e01.episode.1.720p.nf.web-dl.x265-heteam

Amy Flower?

It's all right. I don't bite.

It's Wendy.

I'm sorry, I think I trod in something.

It might be goose shit.

Fucking badger, I think.

Musky.

Haven't got a spare ciggie, have ya?

Oh, yeah.

So you got me note, then?

I thought it was cracking,
that thing you did in the church,

with the nooses and that.

Oh, well, thanks.

You and your Pink Cuttlefish Orchestra.

Cheeky.

- Yeah.
- So you lot are going to Omsk this year.

Notorious Festival of the Obscure.

Yeah. Do you know it? Apparently, a man
ate his own ears there once.

Chopped them off with a knife

and gobbled them down
with some herby mayonnaise.

It was the screams.
That was the music, you see.

Your grandad applied to
Omsk a couple of times.

Kept getting told to fuck off.

The great Felix Flower.

The magic man.

Actually, you remind me of him a bit.

That look of trouble...

Anyway,

I've been evicted,
so I'm just chucking a bunch of stuff out.

It's just a load
of old useless crap, really.

- Oh!
- But he's your family so...

Why do you have it?

Felix came to stay a couple of times.

So, I best be on me way.

Fucking landlord wanted me out
before sunrise. Hence the hour.

And when it gets dark,
I turn into a butterfly.

See you round.

Die Auserwahlte!

Pardon?

"The Chosen One"! It's German!

Ah-ha!

Morning, Mr Pipe.

It's Pipe Man, you creepy cretin.

Just keeping the chicks alive
while mother hen's away.

Here you are, you little tykes.

Now, don't get up to too much trouble

or we'll have you sent off and
made into crispy little nuggets.

Morning.

No, thank you.

I often wonder
if the key to Maurice's sadness

lies in the relationship
he had with his father.

Or lack of it, perhaps, I should say.

In spite of his fiery temper,

he worshipped his charismatic
magician father Felix.

But then,

one night, when Maurice
was just eight years old,

Felix sneaked into his room
in the middle of the night

and told Maurice that,
although he loved him very much

he was going to have to perform
a very difficult trick.

Come on, Deborah.

The most difficult trick there is.

He was going to have to
perform a vanishing act.

The next morning, he was gone.

A few years later, his
mother confessed the truth.

That she and Felix
had fallen out of love.

And that he had tragically
drowned in a boat accident

as he made his way back to Germany.

"Baumgaertner."

I don’t know
what I can do to make it stop.

Every morning I wake up

and the first thing I
think of is killing myself.

How are you so full of energy?
You barely slept.

I'm excited. I want to
introduce you to my friends.

Just come and say hi.

Hello, everyone,

I'm a 63-year-old ex-junkie

and I'm gonna wang on
about God and heroin.

They don't care that you're a priest.

I mean, there you all are with
your musical thunderstorms,

and I rock up with Lady Lightning
herself, like some lonely old penguin.

I've never really been
any good at anything.

- You are good at things.
- Like what?

Eating pizza in me jim-jams?

Being wise. Being cool. Being fit.

The hand of God.

My meat window's still glowing
like the pearly gates.

I feel like a champagne mirage.

If I did a fanny-fart now,
there'd be a fucking rainbow.

Whoa!

Does the Lord know how much
Fizzy Shizz you're drinking?

I know. I'm sorry.

Right. I need to stop being so nervous.

Okay.

Done it.

Why are you nervous?

Well, they're just quite cool,
aren't they? I need to get cool.

- Do I seem cool?
- Go on, fuck off.

I've got a funeral in half an hour.

Okay, bye.

Shit!

♪ Who's that coming
With the Mucksuck Machine? ♪

♪ He's so handsome, he's so sexy ♪

♪ All the clients will scream ♪

♪ One hour of work for just $69.99 ♪

♪ Other plumbers charge double
For just half the time ♪

♪ So who's that fella That
you've seen in your dreams? ♪

♪ He's got a trunk full of polybutylene ♪

♪ He's the Pipe Man ♪

♪ Pipemaster General ♪

♪ The best dang plumber
In the whole dang world ♪

Well, well.

It's a 30-mile limit, you lunatic gorgon!

There's deer on this road!

Truth is, I'm quite
enjoying having a bit of time off

now that Grubbs is no more.

Have you thought about
trying some therapy?

Oh, my gosh. You are
suggesting the therapy for everything.

I have a cold. Have a therapy?

I'm a Japanese. Have a therapy.

Therapy is not solution for everything.

Just saying, it's helped
me a great deal.

This Marmite such strange taste.

Half-delicious,
half-absolutely-disgusting.

Have you tried pitching the
Carols some of the other ideas?

No, no. Give up.
Always they are say no.

Why?

Because too weird.

Pelican Gentleman love hamburger.

Always try to murder microwave lizard
because pilfering his precious burger.

Try to cook up. Chin!

Open door. Mad at microwave lizard.

Apparently, this is too weird.

- Is that Dad?
- Why?

Are you... Are you drinking?

Just a little bit of
English summer tipple.

Very sophisticate.

- Give me. Thank you.
- Excuse me... Donald.

Dad, Amy's been speeding again.
Do you want me to dismantle her bike?

- Hi, Donald.
- Is that Deborah?

Send her my love.

All I'm saying is that my business
has a six-figure five-year forecast,

whereas Amy's rubbish is destined
for a crippling financial loss.

I just wanna see how she's doing, Donald.

I'm not just some big turd that
followed her out of Mum's womb, you know.

- Who cares about Omsk!
- Hi, Dad.

What's the matter, you bad mood?

It's just banter, remember?

Whenever you think I'm being mean,
it's just banter.

'Course. Stupid me, keep forgetting.

You naughty bastard!

Yeah. So funny this English banter.

Barry! Soccer.

She values your opinion,

so she was hoping to get your thoughts

before it goes to print.

"But now his mighty erection is back,
a virulent totem of reclaimed happiness."

How is that gonna help anyone?

Oh, right. Is that... Is that the quote?

Yeah, chapter one.
That's why I stopped reading.

Just tell her
I don't think it should be published.

Come on, Grumpy.

Grumpy, grumpy.

Look how much fun.

Oh, and the Cuttlefish are coming to stay
for a few days to rehearse, by the way.

Is that all right?

- Yeah.
- What?

Yeah, maybe, er, when abouts you thinking?

They come this afternoon.

What's happening?

So as long as Donald's okay with it.

Absolutely no way. That is
ridiculously short notice.

I thought you'd be grateful.
Might even pop your penis cherry.

Hello? Amy?

You've got no idea what my
goody-goody gumdrops have been up to.

Well, yes, I do because I can hear it
when you're hoofing one out in the shower.

Hello?

Well, I'd rather have sex with no one
than some weird, junkie granny, anyway.

Bet she's got a big turkey
wattle foof and everything.

I came four times this morning.

Women can't come.

Amy?

Er, yeah, Dad, they'll be gone by the time
you get back, so no need to tell Mum.

Sure.

It's nice that you found your gang.

- Oh, thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, Dad.

Erm, Dad,

I met a woman this morning who
knew Grandad Felix.

Do you remember someone called Wendy?

Mmm, huh. No, I don't think so,

but then my whole childhood is just
a hideous black blur, so...

Hey.

Deborah?

Ah, what you doing over there?

Oh, just...

You know.

You want these sausages?

- Ah, morning ice cream. Hello.
- Mmm.

Naughty, aren't I?

What shall I do with your sausages, then?

Er, I don't mind.

So, okay.

So, you...

Ah, you're just going through your, er...

I was just checking through it.

- Yeah.
- Did you call home? How is everyone?

Good. Er, you know.

- Ferreting away.
- Oh.

- Clever things.
- Yeah.

And, Amy, has she...
Has she read it yet?

Er... Not sure. She didn't mention it.

You know who her
girlfriend is, don't you?

No.

Yes, you do. She tells
you bloody everything.

I mean, I assumed it was just
one of the girls in the band?

- No.
- It's because they

were sort of hugging and
crying and stuff after the show.

Maurice, that's just what people do
when they're friends.

Right. Yeah, obviously.

Are you gonna read it?

Erm, I might wait until
it comes out, actually.

I was thinking maybe savour it, you know.
If it is still...

Maurice, we talked about this.
You said it was fine.

Yeah. No. Just, erm...

You said, "Crack on."

Mmm, yeah, but I mean, I guess

I thought that maybe you were gonna
just use it to process everything,

and then at the end...

But no, it's great.
I mean, I'm very proud of you.

Erm, is it... I mean, is it...

Is it very, very personal, or...

Well, obviously it's quite personal, yes.

Yeah. No, obviously, erm...

Okay, erm...

Well, I'm gonna go for a
little butterfly expedition.

Yes, you go for it.

- Yeah.
- Are you feeling all right?

Yeah. Just getting the air.

Ah! Ooh, yeah.

Naked is weird, isn't it?
Naked? That's weird, yeah.

Okay.

I'm gonna go.

- Have fun.
- Yeah, I'm gonna run.

- Okay.
- Oh!

There's some over here, actually. Deborah.

Yes?

It's like they're dancing,
they're so agile.

I've got one!

Deborah.

It's massive.

I've got a red one!

Deborah.

Well done!

Oh!

- Hello.
- How are you, Matilda?

Er...

Yeah. Okay.

- What... What are you...
- I just wanted to let you know

that I'm running my own business now.

- Okay.
- So that's good, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well done.

The Great Pipe Man.

Bespoke plumbing service
for the discerning customer.

Cool.

So if you ever need a bit of
high-end water work-based craftsmanship

at a bargain price...

Obviously, we do mate's rates.

Hmm, that would help, actually.
I'm a bit broke at the moment.

No... As in...

Because we're mates,

you pay me more.

I knew you were fucking the priest.

Yeah, well, she's weird around
people, so just act like it's normal.

It is normal.

- You know what I mean.
- Just don't be like, "Hi!"

So, you want us to ignore your girlfriend?

No.

How can she be weird around people
when she's a priest?

Well, it's only in real life.
She's fine when it's, like, priest time.

Oi! Lightning!

What's all these balloons about?

Oh, you know, just...

Welcome, friends!

Omsk, baby!

Shut the front door.

So you can say, "Bob's your uncle,"
even if you uncle is not called Bob?

Yeah, it's just a phrase.
Like, "Hey, presto."

And you know, in army,

everybody call each other Roger
even though not called Roger.

Who's this fucking Roger?

Oh, my gosh.

Excuse me. Booby time.

Don't worry yourself, it's only a tit.

Milk...

Delicious.

Hey, everyone.

This is Hylda.

- You all right?
- What about ya?

- Evening.
- Hello, Rev.

Just normal.

- Yes.
- Hello.

- Good to see you.
- Say no more.

One time, I see woman in park
having a booby time.

Such huge breast, I am so terrify.

Be careful. You baby will explode
of milk. Too full.

- Don't do all that.
- Oh.

- Oh.
- There you go.

- Nah. Come on.
- Oh, bring it in.

Nice to meet you.

So, you can do Irish goodbye,
but you are Welsh person.

Why is not Welsh goodbye?

It's just saying goodbye
without saying goodbye.

So, parties happen.

You relax.

Time to go.

Goodbye!

No, you don't say it quietly.

You just don't say it.

Not at all?

Just leave?

So party, party.

Relax.

Time to go.

Now, don't get angry with me,

but I've asked the girls,
and none of them fancy you.

Bollocks!

That Vera's definitely angling
for a hot piece of the Pipe Man.

I really think you need to get
some friends. I think it'd help.

Successful people don't have friends.

You still haven't moved out
of your parents' house.

This cabin was for Shun. You stole it.

Yeah, because I'm the son!

I don't wanna have to beat you
off out of pity when you're 85.

How about Matilda? Why
don't you just invite Matilda?

I don't like Fat Matilda.

How many out of ten do
you not like Fat Matilda?

Minus ten.

You really don't like her, do you?

Why have you got this, then?

Hey, get off my property!

I didn't even know that was in there.

Does your brother
have learning difficulties?

Erm, I don't think so, no.

- Yeah. You like butter.
- It's a buttercup, mate.

What? Liar.

So, I moved out
from my parents' last spring.

Was gonna turn it into a headquarters
for my inventions business but then, erm...

Oh, cool. What kind of inventions?

Ah, there you are.

Might have to dig my
daily grave in a minute.

Okay, well,
we're gonna carry on for a bit.

We need to work out
what we're doing with Omsk.

Hair, rice, animal fat,
semen, you name it. Pow!

I... I think I might go back over.

Okay, cool bean. Beans, sorry.

Er, do you... Do you wanna wear my hat?

No, it's cool.

You're doing well with the cigarettes.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Er, just getting fat instead.

Hmm...

You know,

when you

ask me to pretend that I'm
someone that I'm not, when we're...

Is that because you aren't
attracted to me anymore or...

Erm...

No.

It's just...

I don't know, exciting or something.

Hmm, yeah.

Yeah, I suppose so. Yeah.

But, I mean, I...

I never have to imagine you
as anything other than you.

Well, maybe you should try it.

You must think about sleeping
with other people occasionally?

Erm...

I don't... I don't think so.

You must do.

No.

No.

It's not a test. You can be honest.

Erm...

I was thinking this morning about how

I haven't managed to do
any work for a while.

I was thinking about
going back to the doctors.

I guess I was worried that

without feeling like, you know...

Anyway, I had this weird thought
when I was running about,

that the sun sets and
the sun rises every day,

and we get that for free.

We don't have to do anything,
and that will just happen.

And obviously that's something that
doesn't really mean anything, but...

Do you know what I'm...

Er, no, not really.

Right. Yeah.

No, I mean...

Well, I was trying to figure out

what my brain was trying
to tell me, and I think...

I think it's that I love you

more than I ever have, and...

I feel okay at the moment
and that feels strange,

but it feels good, I think.

And I don't care

if I never write anything again, or
any of that stuff, because I love you.

Er, maybe I crave the feel
of another woman occasionally.

Maybe, if I'm completely honest,
I crave the feel of a younger woman,

but only in the sense that I...

Lasagne's my favourite food
and I think it's delicious

and I wanna eat it for
the rest of my life, but...

Are you comparing me to a lasagne?

No.

As in...

Er, younger foods are good, erm...

But older foods, too. Erm...

Or... Or a salad. A salad is
newer, fresher food, but it's not

got any nourishment, you know,
but a classic dish, or a chicken...

Er, or other foods, foreign foods,
or peanuts, coleslaw, erm...

Or... Or just lasagne, you know?
I do think that sometimes...

That I could just eat lasagne
every day for the rest of my life

and, don't worry, I don't imagine you
as a lasagne, when we're...

Okay, Maurice, stop talking about lasagne.

Yeah. Sorry. Just...

Mmm...

Mmm, mmm, mmm. That's
a lovely drop of vino.

Maurice?

Maurice?

I can't be with you anymore.

- Ah.
- Hey, Shun, you all right?

Yes, yes.

- Do you want some water or something?
- Ah, no.

Amy-chan?

You know are you?

Yes, you are.

You know. Yeah.

Yes.

Anyway...

Look the sky.

Die Auserwahlte!

"The Chosen One!" It's German!