All language subtitles for Look Out, Officer.Chinese (Traditional) (CC)
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1
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,000
各位鬼大哥
2
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,360
我現在燒點零用錢給你們用
3
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,240
不要客氣，儘管拿去花
4
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,000
我見過的人很多
5
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,760
我還從來沒見過
像你這麼婆婆媽媽的男人
6
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,800
什麼叫婆婆媽媽？
7
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,720
今天是七月半
所以燒點零用錢給那些鬼用
8
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,480
做人沒錢已經夠慘了
9
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,000
做鬼沒錢更慘
10
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,680
[咿呀呼聲]
11
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,360
一張就是五千萬
12
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:14,640
這些錢加起來
13
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,080
連李嘉誠都比不上
14
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,840
做鬼比做人好，我寧願去做鬼
15
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,600
你別急，遲早輪到你
16
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,960
[傳呼機響聲]
17
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,720
上面叫我們到坑口去查案
18
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,240
[收音機]閘門打開了
19
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,680
一大群馬一字排開衝了出來
20
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,080
三號金必多領先一點點
21
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,800
牠領先了半個馬頭
22
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,640
金必多逐漸拋離
23
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,520
金必多，跑快點…
24
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,600
金必多跑快點，這次我贏定了
25
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,920
[收音機]六號的龍騰虎躍追上來了
26
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,600
金必多反而到了第四名
27
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,640
這匹爛馬總是後勁不足
28
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,800
乾脆跳樓算了
29
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,680
你說要跳樓很多次了
30
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,080
改天真的跳一次吧？
31
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:05,800
[李錦]沒什麼狀況，走吧
32
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,760
依據警長剛講的
33
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:10,199
沒狀況並不表示沒問題
34
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,920
你少裝模作樣了，行不行？
35
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,720
快點，我女兒等我回去吃飯的
36
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,880
少來了，你還不是想去見女朋友
37
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,120
關你什麼事！
38
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,120
你不走我走，你乾脆走路回去
39
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,760
沒幾條街就到了
40
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,160
[汽車啟動聲]
41
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,760
你是誰？
42
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,760
[痛苦驚叫聲]
43
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:57,880
不許動，警察
44
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,320
混蛋
45
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,000
還想跑
46
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,240
[痛苦驚叫聲]
47
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,360
還跑，別動
48
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,760
別動啊
49
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,240
再動我就一槍打爛你的頭
50
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,320
你死定了
51
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,960
你這死老鬼
52
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,600
你好臭
53
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,080
這樣也好
54
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,480
看不到我的樣子都能聞到我的味道
55
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,880
[陰笑]
56
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,160
[槍聲]
57
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,320
-[鄧李洋]手腳俐落點
-是
58
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,760
不行，要是真在貨倉找到什麼證據
59
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,960
他一個人搞得定嗎？
60
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,800
不行，我還是回去看一看
61
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,320
[玻璃破碎聲]
62
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,800
阿標…
63
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,560
[張標]壽西斯古
64
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,680
馬可斯
65
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,000
難道我死了
66
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:42,680
賭鬼警察借高利貸無法償還
唯有自殺
67
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,720
不對啊
68
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,640
我是追查販毒集團被人謀殺的
69
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,280
你知不知道是誰殺了你？
70
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,400
我看不到他的樣子
71
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,640
[天堂法官]
那你願不願意承認是自殺呢？
72
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,760
[張標]我不承認
73
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,400
[天堂法官]那就是死因不明了
74
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,040
[張標]
能不能讓我回去調查清楚？
75
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,520
[天堂法官]
你以為這裡是賭場？可以隨便出入
76
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,840
[張標]大人，你我都是公務員
77
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,400
能不能給我行個方便？
78
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,360
[天堂法官]
方便？那就要看你懂不懂規矩了
79
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:11,720
規矩？
80
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,000
這合用嗎？
81
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,080
合用
82
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,120
-我走了
-慢著，你回去有兩件事情要記著
83
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,040
如果有這種痣的，就是你的救星
84
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,160
如果是這樣的，就是你的剋星
85
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,880
-還有，這是我私人送的
-這是什麼？
86
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,760
裡面有很多符咒你用得著的
87
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,280
符咒？我怎麼找救星？
88
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:38,640
-你是警察，當然是回警察局去找
-警察局？
89
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,280
[警官]喂，坐好，幾號房？
90
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,080
一號
91
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,040
[痛苦呻吟聲]
92
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,880
一號
93
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,360
二號
94
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000
三號
95
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,040
[三號]走運了…
96
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,280
玩個遊戲
97
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,240
牌子給我
98
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,680
猜中就是你的，看清楚
99
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,120
-喂，再玩一次
-長官來了
100
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,720
喂
101
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,000
你真行
102
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,480
不過不是用抽的，我來分
103
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,880
[痛苦叫聲]
104
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,560
-[醫生1]一號
-[醫生2]二號
105
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,160
[醫生3]三號
106
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,960
進來
107
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,560
過去…
108
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,520
把褲子脫掉
109
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,040
快一點
110
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,680
等一下
111
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:39,159
你幹什麼？
112
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,159
擋一下嘛
113
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,400
擋得住嗎？
114
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,799
擋得住…
115
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,000
[醫生]我看到了
116
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,560
他們看不到嘛
117
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,160
轉過身去
118
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,880
[醫生]趴下
119
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,480
[特技魔法音效]
120
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,560
這臭小子是我的救星
121
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,800
趴下
122
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,120
趴下幹什麼？
123
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,360
給你做深入檢查，趴下
124
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,640
-深入檢查
-快點趴下
125
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,000
-[阿星]不要啊
-[張標]我還得先救你？
126
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,960
-[阿星]不要
-[張標]定
127
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,080
-[阿星]快趴下
-[醫生]你搞錯了，我是醫生
128
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,120
[張標]我幫你深入檢查，快點
129
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,720
[醫生][慘叫聲]
130
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,320
[男警員]小姐，妳最好合作點
131
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,080
[小姐]我不是很合作嗎？
132
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,320
[男警員]誰叫妳去當傳播妹的？
133
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,960
[小姐]什麼叫傳播妹，警官？
134
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,440
[男警員]別耍花招
135
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,640
[小姐]誰跟你耍花招
是你叫我來坐的
136
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,120
[小姐]我就是這樣
137
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:44,480
[男警員]還不快說
138
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,040
[小姐]神經病，說什麼？
139
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:54,840
早
140
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,200
抱歉
141
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,120
打擾你一下
142
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,560
嗨
143
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,920
你好嗎？打擾你一下
144
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,360
對不起，對不起
145
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:14,960
嘿
146
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,280
-嘿
-嘿
147
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,880
怎麼是你啊？
148
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,680
-是我呀
-你是誰？
149
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,880
警員1997今天來報到
150
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,360
總部怎麼會派這種人來
151
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,240
-嘿
-嘿
152
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,040
喂，你幹什麼？
153
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,320
-你老爸在叫你
-是你老爸
154
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,840
這個人因為好賭惹上高利貸沒錢還
155
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,480
開槍跳樓自殺死了，還你老爸咧
156
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,680
-對不起，真不好意思
-少囉唆，跟我來
157
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,400
-嘿
-嘿
158
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:03,960
來這兒幹嘛？
159
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,360
-你說呢？
-[恍然大悟聲]
160
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,600
-警官，小便啊？
-不是
161
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:19,680
-[石婆]抬腳，抬腳呀
-[阿星]幹什麼？
162
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,520
-[石婆]腳拿開
-[李錦]妳搞什麼，大嬸？
163
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,000
這是男廁所，妳進來幹什麼？
164
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,880
我做了幾十年了
165
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,560
一向是這樣拖地的
166
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,360
別擋著我做事
167
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,680
走開，什麼大鳥小鳥我沒見過
168
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,520
-真丟人
-喂…
169
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,400
-警官
-妳侮辱我呀？
170
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,520
你就別跟她鬥嘴了
171
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,560
要是把她惹毛了，你擔不起的
172
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,240
她是什麼人啊？
173
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,600
人間碩果僅存的70歲老處女
174
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,440
你要是把她的慾火挑起來
175
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,920
全香港的警察都搞不定
176
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,160
你行不行？
177
00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:03,120
[女警員]
324、325、326…
178
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,960
[女警員]
327、328、329、330
179
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,720
331…
180
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:15,880
美女
181
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,760
300…我數到哪裡了？
182
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,000
332
183
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,040
謝謝你，332
184
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,840
關你屁事呀，把門關上
185
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,040
喂，你們進來幹什麼？
186
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,000
沒什麼，我帶他來領槍
187
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,240
過來
188
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,960
-編號多少？
-一九九七
189
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,560
-在這裡簽個名
-好的，來吧
190
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,880
給你
191
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,200
[李錦]你是剛來的
我給你一個簡單的任務
192
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,240
我已經派了兩個女警
在一家按摩院中做臥底
193
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,640
你上去跟她們聯絡
194
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,240
到適當時機，你就表露身分
195
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,680
-把他們一網打盡，就這麼簡單
-就這麼簡單？
196
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,160
-當然，複雜的會找你做嗎？
-過獎
197
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,760
-臥底是誰？
-呃…
198
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,920
我們的兩個臥底穿著魚網絲襪
199
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,440
你到上面跟她們說出
這次行動的暗號之後
200
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,800
她們就會接應你
201
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,080
-什麼暗號？
-從今開始
202
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,920
-那你呢？
-我在這裡控制整個行動的進行
203
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,960
-隨時支援你們，快上去吧
-那倒是
204
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,800
唉，先睡一覺吧
205
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,360
-老闆，怎麼樣？要找小姐？
-是呀
206
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,960
這邊請
207
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,920
我們的小姐是全香港最漂亮的
208
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,040
-您慢慢看
-好啊
209
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,160
這兒挑不到的話，你也不用再找了
210
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,000
個個都年輕貌美
211
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,880
我想看看她們的腿
212
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,240
樣子是不要緊
213
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,600
雙腿要美才行
214
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,560
哦，可以…
215
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,840
來…小姐，把裙子拉高一點
216
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,000
讓老闆看一看，拉高一點…
217
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,880
[女妓齊聲]漂亮嗎？
218
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,960
怎麼樣，老闆？
219
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,560
不錯
220
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,000
那您看上哪一個？
221
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:32,960
全要了
222
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,480
全要？
223
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,760
行不行？
224
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,240
可以…都起來…玩得開心點，老闆
225
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:45,360
[女妓齊聲]快進去吧，床很寬敞
226
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:46,840
[歡樂嬉笑聲]
227
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,320
這小子真是厲害，一次要六個
228
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,200
妳搞什麼鬼？弄這麼久還沒弄好
229
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,640
這雙網襪弄得我好癢，煩死人了
230
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,200
怎麼都沒人了？
231
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,480
這樣不是更好？
上來接應我們的同仁
232
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,080
就一定不會認錯人了
233
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,680
-[阿星]慢著…不要這麼衝動嘛
-[妓女][歡樂嬉笑聲]
234
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,360
等一下，聽我說一句很重要的話
235
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,400
從今開始
236
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,640
[女妓齊聲]從今開始
237
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,280
香港已對越南船民實施新政策
238
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,120
從此以後，凡因經濟問題
239
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,960
以船民身份進入香港者
240
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,560
將被視作非法入境者
241
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,720
好棒…
242
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,080
不過妳們到底
有沒有人明白我在說什麼
243
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,080
[女妓齊聲]
我們懂，我們都是從越南來的
244
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,240
對不起，我找錯地方了，不好意思
245
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,240
[阿星]喂，幹什麼，大哥？
246
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,560
[女妓齊聲]
瞧了就走，要吃霸王雞啊
247
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,640
就是嘛
248
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,120
臭小子，想幹什麼？
249
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,560
其實我是個大專學生
250
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,960
想做個問卷調查
251
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,240
是關於野雞…不，就是娼妓
252
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,440
學生，哪一系？
253
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,480
-蘭花系
-蘭花系？
254
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,760
鴛鴦蘭花系
255
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,600
也就是那一種…
256
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,280
你一定懂的，你那麼聰明，先走了
257
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,920
哼！學生證呢？
258
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,440
學生證又不是身分證
259
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,000
不需要隨身攜帶的
260
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,440
你不知道嗎？
261
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,600
學生？我們才是真正的學生
262
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,840
這是學生證
263
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,960
是嗎？你哪一系的？
264
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,960
大專社會學系，在黑社會兼差
265
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,160
半工半讀
266
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,080
真是令人佩服，繼續努力
267
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,960
[痛苦叫聲]
268
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,400
[痛苦叫聲]
269
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,040
連女警也敢非禮？
270
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,720
女警？有點不對勁，把她們帶過來
271
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,320
走啊，肥婆，走啊
272
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,520
妳們好大的膽子，敢砸我地盤？
273
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,640
[便衣女警]從今開始
274
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,280
怎麼這麼晚才來？
275
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,520
[便衣女警]不算晚了
276
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,880
哎呀！
277
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,880
全部趴下，我是警察
278
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,359
槍不能亂玩，你還在唸書
279
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,680
很危險你知不知道？
280
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,599
還給我，你好乖
281
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,800
住手
282
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,680
叫妳住手，八婆，想害死我啊？
283
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,040
現在我不想打爛你的頭
284
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,960
我要打爛你的嘴
285
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,520
-好髒啊
-砰
286
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,760
[齊聲]老大，打爆他的頭
287
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,280
我只不過是唬唬你就嚇成這樣
288
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,240
要是玩真的話不是要尿一褲子嗎？
289
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,280
救命呀
290
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,640
[阿星]不要鬧了…
291
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,400
這小子真是個孬種
292
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,320
[阿星]救命啊…
293
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,280
什麼事…
294
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,880
[女警員]把他們拷起來
295
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,280
都搞定了？
296
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,680
搞定了
297
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,600
你這隻貓真壞，又在神檯上拉屎
298
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,800
好臭呀
299
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,240
[李錦]對不起，祖師爺
300
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,480
弟子有請茅山祖師附身授法
301
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,240
有請老祖師大顯威靈
302
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,120
手長腳長，樣樣都可以長
303
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:15,840
孽畜
304
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,800
[李錦]
蟑螂擒拿手，孽畜，你還想跑
305
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,680
對不起，祖師爺，我家太髒了
306
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,400
糟了，桃花劫，不行
307
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,640
阿玉，先不要走
308
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,880
爸，什麼事呀？
309
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,600
妳啊雙臉泛紅，眼冒春水，犯桃花
310
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,160
碰到男人可要當心點
311
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,400
幹嘛要我當心男人？
312
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,720
怕遭報應呀
313
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,800
爸，你又幹了什麼好事了？
314
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,480
少管這麼多，反正當心就是了
315
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,560
好了，你不用擔心
316
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,760
-我走了，掰
-再見
317
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,120
-[李錦]早點回來
-[阿玉]知道了
318
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,840
自作孽，平常老愛玩別人的女兒
319
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,480
現在自己女兒長得這麼漂亮
320
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,600
要是報應在阿玉身上就慘了
321
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,200
-出去啊？
-是
322
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,280
好，裙子短些更好
323
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,120
[驚叫聲]
324
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,520
[阿星]搞什麼？
325
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,920
這麼多垃圾
326
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,120
收拾乾淨才能住嘛
327
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,480
[吹口哨聲]
328
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,560
怎麼又是你？
329
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,280
怎麼會分派死人的宿舍給我？
330
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,360
沒道理啊
331
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,920
消防隊…不是，警察
332
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,800
滿有模有樣的嘛
333
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,880
我是皇家香港警…
334
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,760
警察，編號1997
335
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,080
[阿星]你不是非說不可
336
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,640
你有權不說話
337
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,760
你所要說的話將來會作為呈堂證供
338
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,480
請問大門在哪裡？
339
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,200
謝謝
340
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,960
-嗨
-嗨
341
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,280
[尖叫聲]
342
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,680
我調頭跑
343
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,600
[疲憊叫聲]
344
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:10,760
[疲憊喘氣聲]
345
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,320
[阿星]我不行了
難道要慢慢走才行？
346
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,680
不行，我應該怎麼做？
347
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,600
沒有道理啊
348
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,240
嗨
349
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,080
我一定是在做夢
350
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,600
不可能，我發瘋了
351
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,800
我一定是發瘋了
352
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,880
[阿星]我不玩了
353
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,200
[哭泣]
354
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,320
我說我不要玩，我要回家
355
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,960
你走不掉的
356
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:01,840
我再試一次
357
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,000
我說過，你走不掉的，自討苦吃
358
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,040
[哭泣]
359
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,160
-現在你相信我了？
-[哭笑的認同聲]
360
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,280
有什麼好笑的？
361
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,160
我好害怕
362
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,640
剛才你還沒怕夠呀？
363
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,440
我這個人就是這樣子
364
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,200
你不要管我，有話你就說嘛
365
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,400
好，我告訴你
366
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,360
我有一個剋星，還有一個救星
367
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,200
因為你的屁股長了梅花痣
368
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,600
所以你是我的救星
369
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,200
剋星還沒找到呢
370
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,200
我幹嘛那麼倒霉要當你的救星
371
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,960
我怎麼知道呢？是上面說的
372
00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,440
不要啦，我求求你
373
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,840
我又不認識你，你不要整我了
374
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,480
不是我想要整你
375
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,360
是上面要整我們兩個
376
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,720
喂，你以為你真的很了不起呀
377
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,720
在按摩院裡面可以一個打九個呀
378
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:12,920
你以為你可以一口氣
379
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,000
把那個女孩子的裙子給吹起來呀？
380
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,120
原來是你
381
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,040
是我，這樣好了
382
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:20,920
我可以幫你泡那個妞
383
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,440
你幫我的忙，怎麼樣？
384
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,160
-不行呀，我不行的啦
-你是不肯啊？
385
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,320
不行的啦
386
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,760
-你真的不肯？
-不要了
387
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,320
好，那走著瞧
388
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,480
有鬼呀
389
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,600
-長官
-沒事
390
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,840
[李錦]神經病
391
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,160
你相不相信有鬼啊？
392
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,560
相信，是有鬼呀
393
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,200
那你有沒有見過鬼呢？
394
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,440
[李錦]沒有
395
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,240
[阿星]不知道見鬼是好還是不好？
396
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,240
[李錦]如果他肯幫你，你就發了
397
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,280
-是嗎？
-是呀
398
00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,360
如果不肯呢？
399
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,200
不幫你就倒霉了
400
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,800
倒霉了？
401
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,360
幹什麼？你見鬼了？很倒霉？
402
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,960
[阿星]沒有，我好得很
403
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,640
鴻運當頭
一輩子都沒有倒霉過
404
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,680
[李錦]是啦
405
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,520
-[阿星]唉
-[李錦]幹什麼？
406
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,000
踩到釘子了
407
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,080
還好沒扎到肉，絕對不是倒霉
408
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,920
[尖叫聲]
409
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,560
這樣還不算倒霉啊？
410
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,120
[警察]回去吧，不要看了
411
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,600
什麼事？
412
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,200
那個越南男子不肯下來
413
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,520
-沒有談判專家來嗎？
-有什麼辦法？
414
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,720
我剛才沒有事
415
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,240
嚴格說起來也不算很倒霉
416
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,080
好啦，不倒霉…幹活了
417
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,160
你先上去，我馬上來
418
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,480
[警察]是啊
419
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:48,480
-學長
-嗯？
420
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,400
沒什麼，我想問問你
421
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,680
你這一輩子，有沒有試過…
422
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,120
-見鬼
-見鬼？
423
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:59,120
沒有，那你是不是…
424
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,240
見到鬼了？是不是？
425
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,640
不是
426
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,320
[警察]是誰？是誰亂丟垃圾？
427
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,200
[警察]你還真倒霉，有沒有怎樣？
428
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,920
沒有…幹活去
429
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,080
這位先生，不要亂來
430
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,920
-凡事好商量，你先下來
-還有什麼好說的？
431
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,720
我是非死不可
432
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,640
-你先下來，凡事好商量
-老兄…
433
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,800
你不要上來…
434
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,360
老兄，你冷靜一點，慢慢來
435
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,080
我就真的跳下去了，你不要過來
436
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,400
你聽我說嘛
437
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,040
老兄
438
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,280
你千萬不要這麼傻
439
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,000
你想想看，當年你從越南
440
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,840
離鄉背井、投奔怒海
441
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,480
千山萬水、驚濤駭浪的
442
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,160
好不容易到這裡來了
443
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,880
來這裡無非是為了自由嘛
444
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,640
你有沒有聽說過一句話
445
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,360
生命誠可貴，自由價更高
446
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,560
[輕生者]我不聽，你不用說了
447
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,920
你們香港人貓哭耗子假慈悲
448
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,120
我們越南人
449
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,440
-每一個都千辛萬苦來到香港
-我知道
450
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,160
你們現在要趕盡殺絕
451
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,880
要把我們遣返回去
452
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:01,680
你知不知道我們回去就死定了
453
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:02,920
反正都是要死
454
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,400
不如從這兒跳下去算了
455
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,520
-老兄，說不定你不會遣返
-在上面談判
456
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,080
-[阿星]我上去幫忙
-你沒有看報紙嗎？柴玲都去了法國
457
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,720
最近侯德建又回到台灣
還上電視，他們風光的
458
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,000
-打擾你一下
-你上來幹什麼？
459
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:16,240
我是想聊你剛才…
460
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,960
柴玲跟我們不同啊，全世界都支持她
461
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,480
我們是越南人，說遣返就遣返
462
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,200
這是逼我們走絕路嘛
463
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:24,800
你自己先考慮一下
你有什麼沒說完的？
464
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,080
-我是想問你
-沒什麼好考慮的
465
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,680
你想清楚我剛剛說的話
466
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,800
再打擾你一會
467
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,560
我想問你如果那鬼想整你
468
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,560
而你又不想理他
你說你會不會死得很難看？
469
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,880
就是你們不理我們
470
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:35,960
不然的話
471
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,480
我們也不會搞成這樣
472
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,720
你要死就去死，要死又不去死
473
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,960
妨礙我們談正經的事情
474
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,800
來到這裡吃我們的住我們的
475
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,400
還在這裡吵死人了
476
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,880
你以為你很了不起呀
477
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,720
帶種的話你他媽的給我跳下去
478
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,440
-是你叫我跳的，我就真的跳了
-去死吧
479
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,640
-我跳下去
-不要
480
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:52,720
[輕生者]我要跳了
481
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,280
-下去，你上來幹嘛？
-往下跳
482
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,040
你給我點面子
483
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,200
[阿星][慘叫聲]
484
00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,320
阿星
485
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,040
-[李錦]你還不起來？會死嗎？
-[眾人]有沒有事呀？
486
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,960
-[警察]阿星，沒事吧？
-[阿星]我真的倒大霉了
487
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,960
大叔，我認輸了，你出來一下吧
488
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,720
你昨天跟我談的那件事
可以商量嘛
489
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,640
你現在肯答應了？
490
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,200
[張標]是你求我的
491
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,400
沒有我，你會倒霉透頂的
492
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,760
從現在開始，我們正式合作
493
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,960
我除了幫你泡妞，還幫你升職立功
494
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,320
這可是你說的
495
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,360
你到底要我幫你做什麼？
496
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:36,920
這個很簡單
497
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,320
你先幫我查出殺我的兇手是誰
498
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:41,920
然後幫我報仇
499
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,480
因為只有你可以對付他
500
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,880
啊？這件事可不簡單啊
501
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,760
怎麼？你想反悔？
502
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,080
-不是，我想要你先幫我
-幫你什麼？
503
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,960
泡妞囉，先看看你的本事
504
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,600
我就知道是這件事
505
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,080
我還有一個要求
506
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,640
你可不可以讓我碰你一下？
507
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,760
可以
508
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,200
我從來都沒有碰過鬼，我好緊張
509
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:12,920
呿
510
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,920
也不過如此嘛
511
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:16,760
該我了？
512
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,120
來啊
513
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,360
[慘叫聲]
514
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:22,840
玩鬼？
515
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,880
-那支燈打亮一點
-知道了
516
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,160
太亮了，少一點
517
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:27,600
再暗一點
518
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:28,800
好，行了
519
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,600
請吃母牛牌巧克力
520
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:36,160
母牛牌巧克力，又香又甜又好吃
521
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,400
-卡，攝影機有沒有問題？
-沒問題
522
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,720
好
523
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,440
用看的就行了，不用泡了
524
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,280
我是在等你
525
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:45,720
等我？
526
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,240
哦
527
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,760
你拿這朵花過去，跟她說
528
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,120
-“妳好漂亮，我很喜歡妳”就行了
-這就行了？
529
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,600
行了，就看你有沒有這本事了
530
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,480
本事我有，我怕的是你這招不靈
531
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,000
我這招一定靈
532
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,480
就不知道你有沒有這個本事去
533
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,440
我別的本事沒有
這點小事還難不倒我
534
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,000
只要你敢過去跟她說
535
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,400
我就保證一定成功
536
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,000
喂，我看你根本就不敢過去
537
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,440
妳好漂亮，我很喜歡妳
538
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,000
喜歡嗎？
539
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,920
好可愛
540
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,400
連隻牛都不理我，還叫我跟人說
541
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,600
靈個屁
542
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,720
我早說過你不行
543
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,000
這次你有對手了
544
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:20,520
去啊
545
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,280
[鄧李洋][奸笑聲]
546
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,600
鄧先生，今天怎麼有空？
547
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,880
我今天特地來看看我的廣告
548
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,160
拍得怎麼樣了？
549
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,240
噓
550
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,440
那個是不是我們的女主角？
551
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,520
是…來…過來
552
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,600
這位是我們的老闆鄧李洋先生
553
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:47,720
-她是阿玉
-[阿玉]你好
554
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,480
這花送給妳
555
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,640
陪我喝杯茶吧？
556
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,040
對不起，我還要拍廣告
557
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:01,640
-[鄧李洋]導演
-[導演]來了…
558
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,000
豈有此理？到現在還不收工？
559
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,240
收工…？
560
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,600
大家聽著，老闆說收工了
561
00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:11,760
有空了吧？
562
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,400
對不起，就算不拍這個廣告
我也不會跟你去喝茶的
563
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,679
哼，妳什麼意思？
564
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,440
-我們老大請妳喝茶，妳敢拒絕
-來吧
565
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,320
-拿出男人本色，英雄救美
-[阿玉]放手啊
566
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,639
好
567
00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:32,239
喂
568
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:33,960
你幹嘛把槍掏出來？
569
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,360
就算是抓賊
也要看適當的時機才能掏槍
570
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,040
泡妞要看誰的本事大
571
00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:41,639
-把勇氣拿出來
-他們有很多人
572
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,040
怕什麼？有我幫你嘛
573
00:34:44,199 --> 00:34:46,080
-我會幫你搞定的，去吧
-[鄧李洋][奸笑聲]
574
00:34:46,159 --> 00:34:49,440
喂…但是我過去
第一句話要說什麼好呢？
575
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,920
哎呀，放手啦
576
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,199
哎呀，放手啦
577
00:34:54,199 --> 00:34:55,360
小子，這麼囂張
578
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,200
揍得少嗎？哪裡的？
579
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,800
喂，光天化日之下調戲良家婦女啊？
580
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,360
幹嘛？你以為你在拍古裝武俠片
581
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:09,200
扮大俠啊？知道該怎麼做吧？
582
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:11,560
打他…
583
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,040
你們別打架
584
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:15,440
[阿玉]不要打了
585
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,880
不許動，我勸你們保持冷靜
586
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,920
喂，你…
587
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,080
[阿星][尖叫聲]
588
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,120
像你這麼蠢的大俠真是世間少有
589
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,720
我真是服了你了
590
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,680
[鄧李洋][狂笑聲]
591
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,240
你不許我掏槍
還坐在這裡看我被人家扁
592
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,640
你這叫幫我啊？
593
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,120
我已經幫你了，只是你不知道而已
594
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,400
-你還…
-[阿玉]先生
595
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,480
-你不要緊吧？
-沒事
596
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,280
剛才真是謝謝你
597
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:13,760
不客氣
598
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,320
月上柳梢頭
599
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,520
人約黃昏後
600
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:31,880
[阿星][驚嚇聲]
601
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,680
-幹什麼？
-嚇死我了
602
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,080
下次出來通知一聲嘛
603
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:36,880
妞我已經幫你泡到了
604
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,440
現在該你幫我報仇了吧
605
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,040
沒問題，不過我現在已經約了她
606
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,800
好歹先讓我佔一次便宜再說
607
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,400
喂，好事都讓你佔盡了
608
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,680
我們約定的事就不算數了？
609
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,200
沒辦法
610
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,680
今天就算英女皇找我也沒用了
611
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,720
好，走著瞧
612
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,520
-李小姐，妳好
-先生，你好
613
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,800
-幸會
-你沒事吧？
614
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,880
-沒事，我們到那邊坐一會吧？
-好
615
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,280
謝謝
616
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:40,360
-李小姐最近都忙些什麼？
-拍廣告呀
617
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:41,600
是嗎？
618
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,440
[阿星]拍廣告就…
619
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:44,880
[阿玉]你的槍碰到我了
620
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,360
是呀，對不起
621
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,960
這麼說起來
李小姐最近混得還不錯？
622
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:59,680
什麼東西？怎麼會有兩支槍？
623
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,640
是啊，等一下
624
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,480
老兄，算我怕了你
625
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:06,920
你給我半個小時，好不好？
626
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,280
半個小時就夠了
627
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,280
別搗亂
628
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,520
先吃點花生
629
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,120
幫幫忙
630
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,440
[魔法音效]
631
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:18,640
見色忘友
632
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,160
都沒了
633
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,080
怎麼了？
634
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,520
第三支槍
635
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,680
[嘲笑聲]
636
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,480
怎麼到這裡來找線索？
637
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,200
隨便看看嘛，沒線索就當是旅行
638
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:14,680
我先去看一下
639
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,080
喂，你在幹什麼？
640
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,120
警察，你有權…
641
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,680
你在這裡幹什麼？打他
642
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,320
不要過來，我開槍了
643
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,440
-[眾人]快走
-[阿星]不要走
644
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,800
-我開槍了
-你嚇唬誰？
645
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,720
戴墨鏡那個別那麼囂張，我開槍了
646
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:15,720
不是我
647
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,520
也不是我
648
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,560
拿斧頭那個別拿死魚眼瞄我
649
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:23,120
-我開槍了
-不是我
650
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,080
穿藍色衣服的那個
651
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,960
[白衣人]別諸多要求，我砍你
652
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,880
-不是我
-[眾人]砍他…
653
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,000
-[眾人]砍他…
-[阿星]開槍打你…
654
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,080
-怎麼回事？
-老大，不知道怎麼辦
655
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,160
趕快去擺平他
656
00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:41,480
他有槍
657
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,800
我們人多
他只有六顆子彈，怕什麼呢？
658
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:45,800
那他來真的怎麼辦？
659
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,320
最多死一半，未必是你
660
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,240
-啊！
-啊什麼？這兒交給你了
661
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,480
-我到後面包抄
-老大這麼好當，不如我來當吧
662
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,320
[眾人]砍他…
663
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,280
你怕了？
664
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,880
如果你答應盡快幫我解決
665
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,280
我立刻幫你擺平他們
666
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,640
我當然幫你，但我只有六顆子彈
667
00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:04,120
你不行，我行
668
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,840
-[阿星]是不是真的？
-[眾人]打他…
669
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:08,680
搞定
670
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:09,880
真的行？你不要開我玩笑
671
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,040
[眾人]砍他…
672
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,400
[眾人][痛苦叫聲]
673
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,520
[阿星]還真的有用
674
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,600
還發什麼呆？還不快叫救護車
675
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,760
[女督察]進來
676
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:52,280
-督察
-督察
677
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,480
[女督察]
昨天的毒品案，是你們破的？
678
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:02,760
[齊聲]是的
679
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:04,960
[關節聲]
680
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,240
上頭對你們的表現很滿意
681
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,160
要我寫一份報告，然後論功行賞
682
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,360
[齊聲]謝謝督察
683
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,320
-昨天的情況實在非常驚險…
-哎
684
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,520
報告督察，阿星是新來的
685
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,560
昨天的場面十分刺激
686
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,480
我想他因為經驗不足
687
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,080
所以昨天表現得既緊張又驚慌
688
00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:27,200
我想昨天的事他記不太清楚了
689
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,240
為了不耽誤督察寶貴的時間
690
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,760
我想我一個人報告就行了
691
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:32,720
那你先出去吧
692
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:35,240
不是…
693
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,320
出去
694
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:46,840
真是
695
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:47,880
[阿星][驚訝聲]
696
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,160
-你很生氣？
-是啊
697
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:50,240
我有辦法
698
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,880
什麼法寶？[
699
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,080
-風騷咒
-風騷咒？
700
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,160
十幾個人衝出來
我當然要顧著阿星的命
701
00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,160
[咒語聲]
702
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,440
怎麼樣？搞定了沒有？
703
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:16,680
喂
704
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,920
看好戲吧
705
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:22,560
剛剛好好玩
706
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,120
這次我甩你，來啊
707
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,520
甩什麼甩呀？妳神經病，走開
708
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,400
所以我馬上就把槍掏出來了
709
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,480
你那支槍是不是很大？
710
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:39,240
[嬌媚聲]
711
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:40,960
不是，督察，不是很大
712
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,800
來啊，我想看嘛
713
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,080
幹什麼，督察？
714
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:45,800
-來嘛
-不行啊，督察
715
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,200
不要小器，借我看看嘛
716
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,960
督察，我…
717
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,440
-我不要啊…
-[女督察][發騷聲]
718
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,080
-在這裡不行啦
-那你看看我的
719
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,960
大不大？
720
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,200
我忍不住了
721
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,440
我不能出糗，我要
722
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,560
[女督察][媚笑聲]
723
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,240
-督察，我真不知道該不該
-[女督察]我要…
724
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,720
[女督察]現在可以的
725
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,200
督察，我不行了…
726
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:12,560
抓她
727
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,560
這樣不是便宜他了嗎？
728
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,960
便宜他，我才不幹呢
729
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,440
督察，妳發神經病呀？
730
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:26,640
[尖叫聲]
731
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,000
你剛才幹什麼？
732
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,040
我沒幹什麼，是妳叫我這麼做的
733
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,160
你還敢胡說，連上司你都敢非禮
734
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,040
不是，督察，是妳命令我的
735
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,240
我命令你的？好
736
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,400
你們剛才看到什麼？
737
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:43,640
什麼都沒看到
738
00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:45,800
-什麼都沒看到
-他剛才趴在妳身上
739
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,960
-我們統統都沒看見
-啊，臭小子，你出賣我
740
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,160
進去
741
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:53,360
[活潑調皮音效]
742
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,960
[李錦]督察，不要打
743
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:05,800
爸，爸，你怎麼搞成這個樣子？
744
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,560
別問了，今天不知道怎麼回事
745
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,520
對了，爸，我約了新男朋友回來見你
746
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,840
新男朋友？是誰啊？
747
00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:15,280
你猜呀？
748
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:20,560
我女兒喜歡的一定是
高大威猛、英俊瀟灑、聰明機警
749
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,160
再加點可愛
750
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,920
一會兒你就會見到他了
751
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,600
[門鈴聲]
752
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,600
對了，爸，我們先說好
753
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,680
-一會見到他不能反悔
-嗯
754
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,160
-阿玉
-送我的？
755
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:35,480
是呀
756
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,400
-來，先見見我爸爸
-好啊
757
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,560
-爸，這是我新男朋友
-[阿星]你好
758
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:44,680
怎麼是你呀？
759
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,360
是啊，怎麼會這麼巧？
760
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:47,360
[李錦]是啊，真巧
761
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,800
-[阿玉]原來你們認識
-[阿星]是啊
762
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:52,840
對，就是我老跟妳提起的那位
763
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,800
英明神武、帥到掉渣
764
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,520
最受我尊敬的上司
765
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:57,880
原來是妳老爸
766
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,360
別說那麼多了，先坐下再說
767
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,440
好
768
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:08,200
[李錦畫外音]怎麼會是他？
如果現在翻臉會傷害他的自尊心
769
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,000
待會有你好看的
770
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,400
我飯已經煮好了，待會就可以吃了
771
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,200
-我先去幫你倒杯茶
-謝謝
772
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,480
[李錦]臭小子，起來
773
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,000
剛才出賣我，現在還想泡我女兒
774
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,960
-長官，剛才是你自己不力量力嘛
-閉嘴
775
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,040
聰明的話就讓我打兩拳消氣
776
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,960
-唉，還躲？
-不躲幹嘛？
777
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,640
[李錦]你躲，還想還手？
778
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:39,960
爸，阿星，你們幹什麼？
779
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,280
沒什麼…
你這個男朋友真是英俊瀟灑
780
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,080
伯父也是老當益壯
[歡愉滑稽音效]
781
00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:50,240
你的皮膚也真滑
782
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,280
幾十歲人了還這麼硬朗
783
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,960
你也很結實
784
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,160
沒想到你們這麼投緣
785
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:56,680
可以吃飯了
786
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:03,440
來，吃飯了
787
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,880
不要客氣，阿玉做的小菜很好吃
你一定會喜歡的
788
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:08,040
那當然
789
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,880
-來，如果不夠鹹，就加這個
-謝謝
790
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:12,480
如果不夠辣的話，就加這個
791
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,800
這些辣椒醬可是阿玉親手做的
肯定合你胃口
792
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:19,040
[李錦畫外音]原來他怕辣
793
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,480
嚐嚐這個辣椒醬
794
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,640
[李錦]阿玉這瓶辣椒醬
做好幾個月了
795
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:29,920
[李錦]很夠味的
796
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,840
你要是不嚐一下就是沒有口福，來呀
797
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,360
-[阿玉]你喜歡吃辣呀？
-[阿星]是啊
798
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:36,640
吃啊
799
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,560
啊！我忘了湯了
800
00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:45,040
你存心整我
801
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,320
-你吃不吃你？
-不吃
802
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:53,560
[阿星]嘿！
803
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:58,840
爸，你把蝦子吃了？
804
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,920
很好吃，他說嫌不夠辣
805
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,160
他說用辣椒醬拌飯才好吃，來
806
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,200
這才合他的胃口
807
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,040
[阿玉]
原來你跟我一樣喜歡吃辣椒醬呀
808
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,440
[阿玉]你好厲害
809
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,640
[阿玉]看你吃得滿臉都是的
810
00:48:28,720 --> 00:48:30,840
來，不要光吃飯嘛，吃點菜
811
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:33,000
-謝謝
-[阿玉]來
812
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,680
你不喜歡？那我給爸爸吃了
來，爸爸
813
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,720
-你也不喜歡？那我自己吃好了
-吃…
814
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,080
好，來啊
815
00:48:58,400 --> 00:48:59,400
你們幹什麼？
816
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,280
[阿玉][尖叫聲]
817
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:05,360
[齊聲]阿玉
818
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:10,960
[老鼠叫聲]
819
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:21,360
[唸咒聲]
820
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:26,720
[魔性叫聲]
821
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,000
[發功叫聲]
822
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,280
[法師]沒錯，那小子是有點不對勁
823
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,120
[法師]有一隻陰靈在幫他跟你作對
824
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:47,200
那我該怎麼辦？
825
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,160
[法師]我會幫你查清楚
826
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,480
[法師]現在給你一個護身符
827
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,960
[奸笑聲]
828
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,080
[法師]它會暫時保護你
829
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:07,120
謝謝法師
830
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,240
-[張標]你趴在地上幹什麼？
-[阿星]我看電視
831
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,000
喂，這麼巧
832
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,160
最近你泡阿玉泡到神魂顛倒的
833
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:24,920
哪有？怎麼會？
834
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:28,960
-你不是有那個什麼…
-風騷咒是不是？
835
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,080
可不可以借給我？
836
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,240
你有神經病呀？
837
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,440
你想把風騷咒用在阿玉身上
838
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,000
她是我朋友的女兒
839
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,560
泡妞還要用風騷咒，你也太爛了
840
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:40,160
就算泡上了也沒面子
841
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,200
你知不知道風騷咒有多厲害呀
842
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,640
咒無虛發，發不可收
843
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:48,280
這種東西我不會教你的
844
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:50,760
算了，我只想研究一下
845
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,200
[張標][疲憊懶腰聲]
846
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:58,000
有點累了，先回去睡一覺
847
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,640
你沒事帶我來你家做什麼？
848
00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:08,280
哦，其實也沒什麼，閒著也是閒著嘛
849
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,320
上來坐坐，喝杯茶，聊聊天
850
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,640
聯絡一下感情嘛
851
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:35,360
[門鈴聲]
852
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,080
[唸咒聲]
853
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,720
-怎麼是你？阿錦，阿星來了
-[李錦]哦
854
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:46,840
我先走了
855
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,880
喂，妳怎麼走了呢？
856
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,480
咒出不可收
857
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:54,920
寧願是貓
858
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,000
你撞…
859
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:07,160
喂
860
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,080
幹什麼？找阿玉啊？
861
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:16,760
她還沒回來，喂
862
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:19,960
我走了
863
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:25,560
-我說過阿玉還沒回來
-我知道
864
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:29,960
喂
865
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:32,480
你哪兒不對勁？
866
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,920
喂…
867
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:45,240
[驚嚇聲]
868
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:47,520
幹什麼？
869
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:49,280
-阿錦
-嗯？
870
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,360
-錦郎
-唉…
871
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,960
我好無聊
872
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,680
臭小子，你幹什麼？
873
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,400
-毛手毛腳，快放手
-阿星
874
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:01,640
-試一試
-去死吧
875
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,760
-來呀
-你幹什麼？
876
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,280
妳男朋友是個同性戀
877
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,080
-你幹嘛這樣子說我嘛？
-難道你不是嗎？
878
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:12,800
我剛才幹什麼了？
879
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,320
你搞同性戀，幹什麼？
880
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,560
阿玉…
881
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:19,520
[阿星]阿玉，妳聽我說
882
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,400
[阿星]我剛剛自己也不知道幹什麼
883
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,480
[阿星]
我是中了一種咒，叫風騷咒
884
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,040
[阿玉]
哪有什麼風騷咒？你少騙我了
885
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,800
[阿錦]鬼才相信你
886
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:29,520
[阿星]是真的，那些風騷咒
887
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:30,800
我是從標叔那兒拿過來的
888
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:32,480
[李錦]什麼？哪個標叔？
889
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:34,520
[阿星]就是你以前的同事張標
890
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,280
[李錦]你神經病，他早就死了
891
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,320
我沒有辦法了，就實話實說了
892
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,280
-標叔在這把槍裡
-你胡說什麼？
893
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,560
我看你吹牛的功夫比我還要高呢
894
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,440
標叔，救救我，快現身
895
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,400
我的長官你又不是不認識，快點
896
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,080
爸，我們不要理他，你走吧
897
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,520
阿玉，給我兩分鐘時間
898
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,240
我馬上回來
899
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,520
全都是我不好
900
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:05,640
是我偷了你的符咒
901
00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:08,040
你要是再不現身，我就死定了
902
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,720
最多這樣，我自打三個耳光
903
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:12,520
可以了嗎？
904
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:14,800
腦子壞了嗎？
905
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,840
還是不行？這可是你逼我的，好
906
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:20,560
我也不想這樣
907
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,440
是你逼我的
908
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:29,600
受不了了吧
909
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,040
叫你早點出來，就不用受這種苦了
910
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,160
我看他腦子病得不輕
911
00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:36,880
會不會出事了？
912
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,440
說得也是，進去看看
913
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,120
你看你搞什麼？
914
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,000
-怎麼尿成這樣？
-[阿星]哎呀，壞了…標叔
915
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,240
-好了…快出去吧
-你以後不要再找我啊
916
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,640
阿玉…
917
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,760
[特技魔法音效]
918
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,040
不但用小便射我還把我沖進馬桶裡
919
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,440
[阿星]再給我點時間解釋
920
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:00,800
-嗨
-嘿
921
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,960
喂，妳看見了，真的是鬼呀
922
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,200
我沒有騙你們，阿玉…
923
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:11,880
你上來幹什麼？
924
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:13,760
下面說我死因不明
925
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:15,040
我不上來我去哪兒？
926
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:18,000
-那你就上來整天裝神弄鬼的？
-是又怎麼樣？
927
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,400
我不在的時候你居然又作威作福的
現在知道厲害了吧？
928
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:22,400
你們別吵了
929
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,120
-[阿星]不要生氣
-那你就這樣走出來啊
930
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,160
-不要生氣
-你少囉唆，關你什麼事？
931
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,480
你在我身上小便
932
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:28,680
都是你惹的禍
933
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,720
叫你來你不來
不叫你來，你就突然來
934
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:47,360
阿星，泡妞升職立功
935
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,680
好的壞的我全都替你做了
936
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,000
我已經曝露了身分
937
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:54,160
你要趕快把仇人給我找出來
938
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,600
我也想啊，但你又不知道是誰
939
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,080
連長什麼樣你都沒見過，很難找的
940
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:02,120
不是我不幫你
941
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,560
我想起來了
942
00:56:06,240 --> 00:56:08,360
他殺我的時候
身上有一股很重的味道
943
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,640
-什麼味道？
-狐臭
944
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,040
我也有，怎麼找呀？
945
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,680
你身上的是汗味，不是狐臭
946
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:21,480
哦
947
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:23,680
明白了吧？
948
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:24,800
明白什麼？
949
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:26,440
我剛剛說的
950
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:27,800
你剛才說什麼？
951
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:35,160
阿權，快點過來，這邊，喂
952
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:37,440
-老張，好久不見了
-到哪去了？
953
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,840
-沒有，理髮
-手藝不錯
954
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,160
帥氣吧
955
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:43,840
小子，什麼事？
956
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,480
-沒事啊
-神經病
957
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,800
近來真倒霉，賭馬賭球都輸
958
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,920
義大利都輸球，真是爆冷門
959
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
還來？
960
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,080
信不信打你
961
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,320
標叔，你是在這裡被殺的
962
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,880
他們又不是傻瓜
963
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:10,160
怎麼還會待在這裡呢？
964
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,640
[張標畫外音]你沒聽過
最危險的地方就是最安全的地方
965
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:14,960
[張標畫外音]他們以為我死了
966
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,880
又怎麼會想到死人會報仇呢？
967
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:18,160
話可不能這麼說
968
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:19,640
我要不是因為遇到你
969
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:21,160
我也想不到啊
970
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:23,280
[張標畫外音]從這兒爬過去
971
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:24,600
我上次也是從這兒爬過去的
972
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:43,640
哇，真的有毒品，喂…
973
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:56,480
[製毒人員]
快一點嘛，每一次都這麼慢
974
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,280
[輕聲哇]
975
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:13,720
[阿星]去死
976
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:37,480
-幹什麼你…
-幹什麼？不要亂來
977
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:40,440
-[白衣人]躲開嘛
-[白衣人]你為何抓住我？
978
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:55,800
[痛苦叫聲]
979
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,400
-怎麼樣？
-快去幹掉他
980
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,040
標叔，能不能讓我再過癮一點？
981
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:06,720
你想過癮？可以
982
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:18,400
[張標]過不過癮？
983
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:19,720
可惜沒有帶照相機
984
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:23,640
[阿星]哎呀
985
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,560
這一下我可發了，標叔謝了
986
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:29,080
-臭小子，敢到我這裡來撒野？
-喂…
987
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,200
好臭
988
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,400
-臭什麼？
-就是他
989
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,280
你到底想幹嘛？
990
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:02,080
我用不慣那一把
991
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:03,920
我閃了
992
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:07,360
看你往哪兒跑
993
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,120
[痛苦尖叫]
994
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,280
喂…
995
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,520
我明明打中他，他怎麼還跑呀？
耍無賴嘛你
996
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:18,360
他不是無賴，他身上有法寶
997
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:20,720
有法寶
998
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:26,160
幸虧有你的護身符
999
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,760
否則我已經死了
1000
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:32,440
他是被你殺死的
1001
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,560
現在叫那個臭小子回來報仇
1002
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:37,240
那個王八蛋
1003
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:42,080
死了都要跟我作對，法師
1004
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:45,480
這個人，你一定要把他處理掉
1005
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,120
[法師]你放心留在這裡
1006
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:51,960
對付這個小鬼，本法師早有妙計
1007
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:55,200
[李錦]祖師爺在上
1008
01:00:56,280 --> 01:01:00,240
弟子這次被張標和阿星那臭小子
1009
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,080
整得好慘
1010
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,600
好事全歸他們，整天都耍我
1011
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:07,560
還打我女兒的主意
1012
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:11,000
祖師爺，您的法力高深
1013
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:13,760
這次一定要幫弟子出這口氣
1014
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,520
哇！祖師爺下凡了
1015
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,040
弟子李錦
1016
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,840
本祖師知道你被小鬼張標逼害
1017
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,320
所以本祖師親自下凡
1018
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,240
賜你靈符一張
1019
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,000
你把它貼在槍管之內
1020
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:38,200
就可以禁錮那個小鬼以示懲戒
1021
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:39,480
多謝祖師爺
1022
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,400
-你出去依法行事
-是
1023
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:54,680
[陰笑]
1024
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:57,280
-阿星
-喂…
1025
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:58,360
-約會啊？
-是呀
1026
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,400
-喂…帶槍了沒有？
-有呀
1027
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,160
喂…帶什麼槍呢？
1028
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:03,920
跟阿玉出去，帶槍不太方便吧
1029
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:05,960
不帶槍不好吧，很危險的
1030
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:08,080
危險什麼，總有私生活吧
1031
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:10,120
難道24小時工作，你傻子啊
1032
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,560
那倒是，我也很快就回來了
1033
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:15,280
我讓你們兩個敘敘舊
1034
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:16,840
好，你們去吧
1035
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,920
-爸，我們出去了，再見
-嗯
1036
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,040
再見，不用太早回來
1037
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:24,320
我會的
1038
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:34,920
大爺我現在去睡覺
先困住你個三五七天再說
1039
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,960
[張標][驚恐叫聲]
1040
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:03,600
放我出來…
1041
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,000
[兩人奸笑聲]
1042
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,200
[法師]你不用再掙扎了
1043
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,120
[法師]我們黑教的捉鬼精棺
1044
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:11,360
[法師]就是你的剋星
1045
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:14,880
[法師]
用不了多久，你就會灰飛煙滅
1046
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:19,040
[兩人奸笑聲]
1047
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,200
-阿玉
-[阿玉]什麼？
1048
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,080
聽說我們已經抱了好久
1049
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:34,440
是啊
1050
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:37,320
妳覺得怎麼樣？
1051
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,840
很好玩
1052
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,840
我看這樣好不好？
1053
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:45,720
我們玩點別的遊戲
1054
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,040
什麼？
1055
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:51,320
譬如說…親親嘴
1056
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,200
不要了，讓別人看到多不好意思？
1057
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:56,440
哪會有人看我們嘛？
1058
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:58,080
[鄧李洋]誰說沒有人？
1059
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,240
[奸笑聲]
1060
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:05,440
什麼事？
1061
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:07,320
你該知道是什麼事
1062
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:08,760
不知道
1063
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:10,320
妳知不知道？
1064
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:12,640
我知道，沒事
1065
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:17,040
沒事就先走吧
1066
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,760
[打鬥聲]
1067
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:22,800
標叔
1068
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,200
-你認識我？
-不…完全誤會，不認識
1069
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:28,840
[阿星][痛苦叫聲]
1070
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,080
[警車聲]
1071
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:41,320
先打到這裡，走吧
1072
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,080
[警車聲]
1073
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,000
[鄧李洋]走了，再見
1074
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:49,160
[警車聲]
1075
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:52,640
[阿玉]在那邊
1076
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:54,960
[警察]快點
1077
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:56,320
這麼早來幹嘛？
1078
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:58,600
給我點機會表現嘛
1079
01:04:58,800 --> 01:04:59,880
[警察]你沒事吧？
1080
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:05,640
小心點，你沒事吧？
1081
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,080
-[阿玉]你先躺下，我拿藥給你擦
-哦
1082
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,320
他沒有道理不救我
1083
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:24,760
[李錦][得逞的笑]
1084
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:27,520
[李錦]阿標，這次你還不完蛋？
1085
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,160
[李錦]
祖師爺在上，請受弟子李錦一拜
1086
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:35,280
[李錦]謝謝祖師爺下凡賜靈符
1087
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:37,280
把阿標關住，讓我出了這口氣
1088
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:38,960
阿星
1089
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,880
[李錦]這一次可整到了阿標跟阿星
他們兩個人了
1090
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,040
原來是你在搞鬼
1091
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:49,520
爸，你為什麼要這麼做？
1092
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,600
誰叫他們兩個人老是愛整我
1093
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,720
爸，剛才阿星差點讓鄧李洋打死了
1094
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:56,280
鄧李洋還敢出來？
1095
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,200
少說廢話，先把標叔弄出來再說
1096
01:05:58,280 --> 01:05:59,640
[詭秘音效]
1097
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:00,800
標叔
1098
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,280
我來
1099
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:05,200
好了
1100
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,920
-標叔，你出來呀
-怎麼了，阿星？
1101
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:10,560
標叔，他睡著了
1102
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,440
[阿星]起來，天亮了，標叔…
1103
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,040
喂
1104
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,840
喂，出來了
1105
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:20,960
你不要再裝蒜了
1106
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,200
不可能，我問一下祖師爺
1107
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,240
[李錦]
弟子已依您吩咐，把靈符拿走
1108
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:28,320
但還是不能把張標放出來
1109
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,640
[李錦]有什麼差錯，請祖師爺指點
1110
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:33,160
[特技魔法音效]
1111
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,680
[祖師上李錦身]
你這個不肖子弟，心術不正
1112
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,440
被妖孽利用，闖下大禍
1113
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,000
本祖師爺從未親身下凡
1114
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:44,200
也沒有把那些
1115
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:47,520
欺壓善良、害人害己的妖符給你
1116
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:49,080
標叔被誰抓去了？
1117
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:50,280
[祖師上李錦身][歎氣聲]
1118
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:52,640
[祖師上李錦身]
這個妖孽是張標的剋星
1119
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:55,560
受了張標的仇人鄧李洋的指示
1120
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:56,920
假扮本祖師
1121
01:06:57,120 --> 01:07:00,200
利用本門不肖弟子把張標抓走
1122
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:03,200
然後關在邪教的捉鬼精棺裡
1123
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:05,720
有什麼辦法可以救他出來？
1124
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:08,560
[祖師上李錦身]
這個捉鬼精棺非常厲害
1125
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:12,440
以本祖師的法力還沒有辦法破解它
1126
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:14,480
那標叔死定了
1127
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:17,160
祖師爺，求你大發慈悲想想辦法
1128
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:20,600
[祖師上李錦身]
我只能把破精棺的法寶寫在你身上
1129
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:23,400
你能找到它，就可以救張標了
1130
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:24,880
麻煩你，請你快一點
1131
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,120
-[祖師上李錦身]請這位小姐迴避
-哦
1132
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,200
祖師爺，請你快點，我怕癢
1133
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:16,040
祖師爺，快點，我忍著
1134
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:26,000
[忍不住的尖叫]
1135
01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:28,600
對不起，我實在怕癢
1136
01:08:29,399 --> 01:08:31,160
明天再寫吧
1137
01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:35,399
寫完了？
1138
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:37,399
[氣喘吁吁聲]
1139
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:39,520
祖師爺走了，我看看
1140
01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:44,399
-怎麼全弄花了
-是嗎？
1141
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,160
大概被我抓掉了，還看得清楚嗎？
1142
01:08:47,240 --> 01:08:48,439
還可以
1143
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:49,640
玉女尿
1144
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,640
神檯貓屎
1145
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:53,720
大仙…大仙什麼？
1146
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:58,319
-大仙屁
-你好壞，偷看人家屁屁
1147
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:00,160
-下次讓你看回來嘛
-真的？
1148
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:01,720
真的，看祖師爺的
1149
01:09:02,319 --> 01:09:03,600
謝謝祖師爺
1150
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,279
[李錦]爛貓，怎麼什麼都不吃呢？
1151
01:09:06,359 --> 01:09:08,120
我弄的全是海鮮，牠應該喜歡吃
1152
01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,399
[貓叫]
1153
01:09:13,479 --> 01:09:16,040
-怎麼樣？吃了沒有？
-這隻爛貓
1154
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:17,600
什麼都不肯吃
1155
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,359
當然啦，平常不給牠吃，對牠這麼壞
1156
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:22,800
今天突然給牠吃這麼多好東西
1157
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:24,479
牠怕你毒死牠
1158
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:25,960
那該怎麼辦呢？
1159
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,200
先讓我示範一次
1160
01:09:27,359 --> 01:09:29,680
-讓牠知道好吃，自然就會吃了
-那好，來
1161
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:30,680
[貓叫]
1162
01:09:31,319 --> 01:09:32,560
喵
1163
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:36,760
我也是貓，你看好
1164
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,840
這麼好東西不吃，太浪費
1165
01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:43,840
這魚不錯
1166
01:09:53,279 --> 01:09:54,440
鹹了一點
1167
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:56,000
這全讓你吃完了，怎麼辦呢？
1168
01:09:56,480 --> 01:09:58,920
都說要給牠時間讓牠看清楚嘛
1169
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:02,640
你看吧
1170
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:05,080
要示範嘛
1171
01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:07,480
都很新鮮
1172
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:09,200
不過味道就是有點怪怪的
1173
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:11,680
不會的，我只加了一點瀉鹽
1174
01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:21,240
你想幹什麼？
1175
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:26,400
看你示範拉屎，不然牠怎麼拉？
認真看
1176
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:27,640
[貓叫]
1177
01:10:28,440 --> 01:10:30,360
[大便排洩聲]
1178
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:33,680
乖
1179
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,320
看完了示範，快點拉屎
1180
01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:44,200
嘿，石婆
1181
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:46,360
-什麼事，長官？
-還沒下班啊？
1182
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:49,080
就快要下班了，做完這些就下班了
1183
01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:51,840
石婆，我知道妳工作很累
1184
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,320
特地買了汽水給妳喝
1185
01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:55,120
你對我這麼好，這麼大瓶
1186
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:57,440
小意思，客氣什麼呢
1187
01:10:57,520 --> 01:10:59,080
等一下，讓我拿個杯子
1188
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:00,240
謝謝你啦
1189
01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:03,280
-不用杯子了，對著瓶嘴喝就行了
-一大瓶？
1190
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:04,840
大瓶才過癮
1191
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:06,040
也好
1192
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,240
-妳真厲害
-喝完了
1193
01:11:14,320 --> 01:11:17,080
喝完了還有，來，千萬別客氣
1194
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,120
-也好
-來
1195
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:27,840
-喝光了
-喝光了？妳真行
1196
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:30,600
天氣太熱了
1197
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:33,160
-還喝？
-喝吧…
1198
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,320
真是了不起，石婆，夠不夠？
1199
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:42,880
糟了，全喝光了
1200
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:45,080
我再去買給妳，妳等一等
1201
01:11:45,160 --> 01:11:47,640
這小子真奇怪，突然對我這麼好
1202
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:54,520
我就不信妳不尿尿
1203
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:00,800
[石婆]你幹什麼？
1204
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,480
[李錦]對不起
1205
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,480
你這個老色狼，想偷看我
1206
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:07,080
沒事請我喝汽水
1207
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,560
我就知道你沒安好心眼，哼
1208
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:20,920
[滑稽音效]
1209
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,520
[石婆畫外音]原來還有一個色狼
1210
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,000
你想偷看？
1211
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:33,920
喂，尿慢一點
1212
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:36,720
-哇
-喂
1213
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:40,280
-搞定
-這樣也行？
1214
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:51,160
阿星，你讓我一口氣
吃這麼多烤蕃薯
1215
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:52,800
[李錦]還有這麼多花生
1216
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:54,640
[李錦]夠了沒有？我受不了了
1217
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:55,800
你再忍耐一下嘛
1218
01:12:56,160 --> 01:12:57,320
設定好過濾器就行了
1219
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:01,480
不要光顧著吃，喝點水
1220
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:02,880
還要喝水？
1221
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:09,280
預備，開始
1222
01:13:13,920 --> 01:13:16,280
大仙在上，弟子誠心禱告
1223
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:17,600
請大仙附身授法
1224
01:13:19,120 --> 01:13:20,760
[特技魔法音效]
1225
01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:23,120
-來了
-[阿星]好
1226
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:27,080
[放屁聲]
1227
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:28,560
很好
1228
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:36,120
[阿星]哇，厲害，繼續吧
1229
01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,360
[阿星]嘿，繼續…
1230
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:48,280
[阿星]差不多了
1231
01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:49,840
用力
1232
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:53,000
你的屁股能積這麼多氣
1233
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:54,760
好像是在表演特技
1234
01:13:56,120 --> 01:13:57,400
繼續…
1235
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,080
-停，夠了
-[李錦]我停不住呀
1236
01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:04,520
[尖銳刺耳聲]
1237
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:05,440
哇
1238
01:14:13,480 --> 01:14:16,680
[鸚鵡]好臭啊…
1239
01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:19,280
誰不知道臭，我也不想這樣
1240
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:20,920
糟了，全散了
1241
01:14:21,480 --> 01:14:23,880
快幫忙把屁撈回來，快散光了
1242
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,200
[李錦]快點呀
1243
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:31,960
-喂
-幹嘛？
1244
01:14:34,960 --> 01:14:38,800
這麼臭你還含在嘴裡，你還真厲害
1245
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:54,920
[李錦]神檯貓屎
1246
01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:00,240
玉女尿
1247
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:06,080
大仙屁
1248
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:08,360
預備
1249
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:10,080
放
1250
01:15:15,400 --> 01:15:17,360
-[阿星]成功了
-好極了
1251
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:19,600
-快帶所有法寶去救阿標
-好
1252
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:23,600
-都準備好了嗎？
-都準備好了
1253
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:26,440
幹嘛拿把水果刀？拿把大的嘛
1254
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:28,800
什麼？這是旅行款，現在流行
1255
01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:30,720
-行不行啊？
-當然行啦，走吧
1256
01:15:49,320 --> 01:15:50,680
[李錦]過去
1257
01:15:55,720 --> 01:15:56,720
真的在這裡
1258
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:59,400
-標叔，我們來救你了
-少廢話，快把他救出來
1259
01:16:09,760 --> 01:16:10,760
沒反應
1260
01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:13,200
嘿，你怎麼不嘿？
1261
01:16:13,680 --> 01:16:16,680
-嘿得太多，我怕觀眾不喜歡
-也有道理
1262
01:16:16,840 --> 01:16:18,680
糟糕了，我們中計了
1263
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:20,320
這個不是真的捉鬼精棺
1264
01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:22,400
[鄧李洋][奸笑]
1265
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:23,840
不過遲了點
1266
01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:25,680
用一個假棺材
1267
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:27,720
就可以把你們千辛萬苦
1268
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:30,280
找到的破精棺法寶給毀了
1269
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:36,000
真的精棺…在這兒
1270
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:42,640
阿標
1271
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:48,040
如果你們現在還有破精棺的法寶
1272
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:50,440
就能救那個死老鬼了
1273
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:51,840
你說你們多笨啊？
1274
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:57,520
喂，他說我們笨
1275
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,920
是啊，不過沒有他那麼笨
1276
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:03,560
上
1277
01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:04,880
[鄧李洋]豈有此理
1278
01:17:05,680 --> 01:17:07,280
[鄧李洋]你們真是比豬還笨
1279
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,400
我們的槍比你們多
1280
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:12,120
開槍啊，一開槍就讓你變成馬蜂窩
1281
01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:14,000
豈有此理
1282
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,320
沒有那個死老鬼幫你
1283
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,240
你的槍法能殺得了我嗎？
1284
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:21,560
豈有此理，來啊，大爺我跟你們玩
1285
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:23,520
我不是想打中你
1286
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:32,480
阿標
1287
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:34,400
開槍
1288
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:42,080
[慘叫聲]
1289
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:43,400
王八蛋
1290
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:44,800
[怒吼聲]
1291
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:46,960
[齊聲]標叔
1292
01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:57,000
憑這點小把戲對付得了我嗎？
1293
01:18:01,960 --> 01:18:03,280
[阿星]哎呀
1294
01:18:07,480 --> 01:18:08,920
阿標你真行
1295
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:10,520
標叔，帥呆了
1296
01:18:10,600 --> 01:18:13,280
-你掩護我，我去扁他
-哎
1297
01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:20,120
[阿星][慘叫聲]
1298
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:24,320
-[李錦]阿星
-[張標]阿星，你沒事吧？
1299
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:25,960
標叔，你不是要掩護我嗎？
1300
01:18:26,040 --> 01:18:27,040
我掩護個屁
1301
01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:29,400
-我連自己都顧不了了
-你說什麼？
1302
01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:37,640
[法師][痛苦尖叫聲]
1303
01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:43,960
[法師][痛苦尖叫聲]
1304
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,120
阿標，該你出馬了
1305
01:18:47,480 --> 01:18:49,200
他這麼醜，我才不要呢
1306
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,360
[法師][痛苦尖叫聲]
1307
01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:56,200
[阿星][大叫聲]
1308
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:05,240
[法師][陰笑聲]
1309
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,440
標叔，救我呀
1310
01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:14,000
你再不出馬，阿星挺不住了
1311
01:19:14,160 --> 01:19:16,840
出什麼馬
我都不知道我變成男的是女的
1312
01:19:16,920 --> 01:19:18,320
你胡說八道什麼？
1313
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:21,480
標叔，你怎麼變這樣子呢？
1314
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:22,960
-我怎麼知道？
-你這鬍子好性感
1315
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:24,640
別這樣，噁心死了
1316
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:29,400
[阿星]哎呀，我受不了了
1317
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:38,080
祖師爺大顯威靈
1318
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:46,120
扶蘇劍
1319
01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:49,640
[打鬥聲]
1320
01:19:50,360 --> 01:19:51,800
阿星，你有沒有受傷？
1321
01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:54,400
標叔，你是不是被人家給閹了？
1322
01:19:54,680 --> 01:19:56,160
-讓我看看
-要死了，不要亂摸
1323
01:19:56,240 --> 01:19:58,320
很多人會看到的
1324
01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:07,640
[法師][痛苦尖叫]
1325
01:20:11,120 --> 01:20:12,960
本祖師跟你一決高下
1326
01:20:29,480 --> 01:20:30,960
[張標]好棒…
1327
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,120
糟了，他支持不住了
1328
01:20:42,640 --> 01:20:45,040
就叫你不要帶旅行款嘛
1329
01:21:02,160 --> 01:21:04,040
妖孽，放開我的手
1330
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:06,680
糟了，標叔，現在該怎麼辦？
1331
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:08,120
我身上沒有符
1332
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:09,840
符？我有
1333
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:21,880
-快點啊
-變…
1334
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:23,160
怎麼了？
1335
01:21:23,480 --> 01:21:25,560
有符也沒用，連我都不靈了
1336
01:21:25,640 --> 01:21:26,800
還給你
1337
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:36,160
[阿星][驚恐尖叫聲]
1338
01:21:42,160 --> 01:21:46,320
[阿星]
屁股著火了，我中招了，糟了…
1339
01:21:51,400 --> 01:21:52,560
你好像馬拉度納
1340
01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:54,320
還來？
1341
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:59,200
比利也不過如此，麻煩再來一個
1342
01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:03,920
這麼大，怎麼擋？
1343
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,120
-[李錦]把我的手解開
-[阿星]哦
1344
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:24,560
行了
1345
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:27,680
祖師不是說只要得到三樣法寶
1346
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:28,760
就可以替標叔解咒
1347
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:29,840
怎麼會不靈呢？
1348
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:32,760
-不是三樣，是四樣
-四樣？
1349
01:22:32,840 --> 01:22:35,160
你看那個德性？一定是少了童子尿
1350
01:22:35,320 --> 01:22:37,600
童子尿？一定是那些被我抓掉
1351
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:38,680
現在怎麼辦？
1352
01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:40,720
能怎麼辦？快找個處男來尿尿
1353
01:22:42,720 --> 01:22:44,360
行，馬上來
1354
01:22:48,080 --> 01:22:50,040
喂…你還是處男？
1355
01:22:56,720 --> 01:22:58,200
來了，童子尿
1356
01:22:58,280 --> 01:23:00,120
-真的假的？
-真的
1357
01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:05,800
[張標]變
1358
01:23:07,960 --> 01:23:10,160
[發功聲]
1359
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:18,840
-[張標]把符給我
-[阿星]接著
1360
01:23:20,160 --> 01:23:21,280
[法師][尖叫聲]
1361
01:23:22,560 --> 01:23:23,760
-怎麼辦？
-我哪知道？
1362
01:23:23,840 --> 01:23:25,040
那個妖孽好厲害
1363
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:26,840
-先把這個拿開
-好
1364
01:23:40,840 --> 01:23:42,280
[張標]這妖孽想跟我們同歸於盡
1365
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:43,480
[阿星]啊？
1366
01:23:43,560 --> 01:23:45,040
-把鐵板拿來
-[阿星]哦
1367
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,240
[發功聲]
1368
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:53,200
送我出去
1369
01:24:14,640 --> 01:24:16,720
-[李錦]阿標，你怎麼樣？
-[阿星]標叔
1370
01:24:17,520 --> 01:24:18,720
標叔，你沒事吧？
1371
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,080
祖師爺，鬼怎麼會受傷的？
1372
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:22,840
祖師爺早就走了，我怎麼知道？
1373
01:24:23,800 --> 01:24:26,920
[張標]
我現在魂魄不全，恐怕報不了仇了
1374
01:24:28,440 --> 01:24:30,800
鄧李洋，你在哪裡？給我出來！
1375
01:24:30,880 --> 01:24:32,280
[奸笑聲][女人痛苦叫聲]
1376
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:33,360
[李錦]阿玉
1377
01:24:34,600 --> 01:24:36,480
你找我嗎？我在這裡
1378
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:38,480
-阿玉
-不許動
1379
01:24:40,840 --> 01:24:42,280
有種的就開槍
1380
01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:45,760
一個對一個，我沒什麼損失
1381
01:24:46,440 --> 01:24:47,560
把槍放下
1382
01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:51,440
喂，快把槍放下，她是我女兒
1383
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:54,200
不要放，放也是死，不放也是死
1384
01:24:57,120 --> 01:24:58,280
那怎麼辦？
1385
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,800
-現在全靠你了
-靠我？
1386
01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:03,560
把槍放下
1387
01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:07,920
把槍放下，快放下
1388
01:25:08,080 --> 01:25:09,000
[阿玉][驚恐叫聲]
1389
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:10,280
[阿星]拼了
1390
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:21,720
[阿星]阿玉…
1391
01:25:21,800 --> 01:25:23,560
-[阿星]妳沒事吧？
-[李錦]阿玉…妳怎麼樣？
1392
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:25,800
[阿星]她沒事，運氣不錯
1393
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:27,360
你們辦到了
1394
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:29,840
-[阿玉]爸
-阿標
1395
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:34,280
我的仇已報，該去報到了
1396
01:25:35,600 --> 01:25:37,240
-標叔
-[李錦]來
1397
01:25:38,200 --> 01:25:39,200
還有什麼事？
1398
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:41,080
我送你
1399
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:43,520
我是去死，又不是去搭飛機
1400
01:25:44,080 --> 01:25:45,360
你跟著去送死啊？
1401
01:25:46,280 --> 01:25:48,680
說的也是，那改天見了
1402
01:25:49,080 --> 01:25:52,520
-改天見？那你可有得等了
-那倒是
1403
01:25:52,680 --> 01:25:53,880
要跟你見面，我也是第一個
1404
01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:56,640
放心吧，再過不了多久
我一定會來找你的了
1405
01:25:56,920 --> 01:25:58,560
-再見了
-慢慢等吧
1406
01:26:00,680 --> 01:26:02,200
[張標]清明別忘了給我燒紙錢
1407
01:26:03,440 --> 01:26:04,720
一路順風
1408
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:06,240
有空來信
1409
01:26:06,320 --> 01:26:07,840
[天堂法官]想上天堂，不行啊
1410
01:26:08,400 --> 01:26:10,160
為什麼？已經證明我是好人了
1411
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:11,480
為什麼不能上天堂？
1412
01:26:12,040 --> 01:26:14,720
現在天堂的移民配額都已經滿了
1413
01:26:14,800 --> 01:26:15,880
要計分的
1414
01:26:16,360 --> 01:26:19,480
-你是警察，沒有分
-那怎麼辦？
1415
01:26:19,560 --> 01:26:21,560
呃…你可以投資
1416
01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:24,520
投資身分又快又容易，你有沒有錢？
1417
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:27,760
慘了，這次我沒帶紙錢來
1418
01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:31,440
沒錢啊
那只有下地獄了，下面不收錢的
1419
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:34,000
[煞車聲]
1420
01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:35,800
[司機]誰是張標？收貨
1421
01:26:36,520 --> 01:26:37,680
我就是
1422
01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:44,760
是誰那麼聰明知道我需要錢？
1423
01:26:47,040 --> 01:26:49,360
[張標]哦，是你們？
1424
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:53,440
歡迎來到天堂
1425
01:26:55,160 --> 01:26:56,600
當然要為你著想嘛
1426
01:26:56,680 --> 01:26:58,360
走，我們去吃飯吧
1427
01:26:58,520 --> 01:26:59,640
[齊聲]好
1428
01:27:01,160 --> 01:27:02,640
關我們兩個什麼事？
1429
01:27:02,720 --> 01:27:04,960
-我正想問你
-就是啊，你自己慢慢吃吧
1430
01:27:05,120 --> 01:27:06,280
-[阿星]有病
-[李錦]再見
1431
01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:07,520
喂…
90752
