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1
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,167
♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:12,967 --> 00:00:17,100
♪ come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:20,467
♪ a whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,533
♪ we'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,133
♪ we had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,533
♪ and spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,900
♪ somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,967 --> 00:00:39,100
♪ we get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,167 --> 00:00:42,567
♪ travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:45,800
♪ come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:51,800
♪ a whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:54,933
♪ we'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,300
♪ we'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:01,667
♪ we'll make you happy
15
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,009
kids, we're
running a little late.
16
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,433
Reuben will be
here in half an hour.
17
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,767
Why is Mr. Kincaid
going on the picnic?
18
00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:12,867
He just grumbles and complains.
19
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:15,900
Because he likes
us. You have no class.
20
00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:17,567
Morning.
21
00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:20,033
Morning. Why aren't you dressed?
22
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:21,833
I can't make up my mind.
23
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,533
Typical.
24
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,176
Should I wear my pink knit dress
or my blue one with the white bib?
25
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,100
I'm partial to the pink knit.
26
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:30,233
Honey, it's a little
formal for a picnic.
27
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,600
Yeah, you usually dress
like a carrot gone to seed.
28
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,700
Well, greely winger said that
he might be in the park today.
29
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,667
Greely winger?
30
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:44,500
You're not gonna
dress for that phony.
31
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,200
I wouldn't call greely
winger a phony.
32
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,267
Not when you're going
out with condine Brewster.
33
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,833
What's that supposed to mean?
34
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:55,000
Underneath all those curves,
35
00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:56,633
built like a tortilla.
36
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:00,233
I don't get it. A tortilla
is little and flat and...
37
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,967
I get it.
38
00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:06,133
So much for the
topography lesson.
39
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,367
You have to get ready.
40
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:09,800
Hi. Hi, Reuben.
41
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:11,100
Reuben, we're not ready.
42
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,567
I know. I'm a little early.
43
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,400
Thought I'd watch
some early news.
44
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,833
You never watch the news.
You say it's too depressing.
45
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,867
Since I'm going
on a picnic with you,
46
00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:21,900
I'll want to get myself in
the proper frame of mind.
47
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,367
Listen, I want to catch
the basketball scores.
48
00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:26,600
What channel is it on? Seven.
49
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,100
It's not here.
50
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:34,033
Try again. It's right after six.
51
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:37,067
Not channel 7. The
TV set. It's gone.
52
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:43,633
Keith: See, gone.
Channel 7 and everything.
53
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:44,900
Laurie: The stereo's gone, too.
54
00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:46,367
So is the radio.
55
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,133
Is this some kind of joke?
56
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,400
Looks more like a burglary.
57
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:54,100
You mean, while we were all asleep,
there was a strange man in this house?
58
00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:57,500
Oh, I hope he didn't
steal my pink knit dress.
59
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:16,667
You know, I think Sheila
barfus has a thing for you.
60
00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:18,900
Sheila barfus, the
girl with the tooth?
61
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:21,067
Mmm-hmm.
62
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,509
When I told her we were burglarized,
she took up a collection for you.
63
00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:24,867
What? Yeah.
64
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,533
She got money from
all your fans at school.
65
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,067
She collected 28 cents.
66
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:31,633
No...
67
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,443
Well, she got that much because
she told everybody you were in traction.
68
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:35,833
Very funny.
69
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,167
You know, it's girls like you
70
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,833
who make things really
lousy for women's lib.
71
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,867
You just don't know your place.
72
00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:44,867
Looks like we have company.
73
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,667
How can we have
company? Nobody's home.
74
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,667
Keith, there's
someone in our house.
75
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,067
What?
76
00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:57,900
They're back. They're
stealing our couch.
77
00:03:57,967 --> 00:04:00,709
Well, I don't know, maybe they want
to relax while they're watching our TV.
78
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,533
You've got to stop them.
They're stealing our furniture.
79
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,000
Laurie, Sheila
barfus raised 28 cents
80
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:08,533
because she told
people I was in traction.
81
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,433
Must we make an
honest woman of her?
82
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,867
Where's male chauvinism
when you need it? You're afraid.
83
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:15,433
I am not! Hi.
84
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,133
Take my money.
85
00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:21,833
Hey, thanks a lot, Sam, I
really appreciate the help.
86
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:25,167
It's okay, Kincaid. Anytime.
87
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,367
Who was that? That
was Sam barner.
88
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,333
He was helping me set up a
little surprise for your mother.
89
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,633
Never guess what it is.
90
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,700
You rearranged the furniture?
91
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:36,867
Nope. You're standing on it.
92
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:40,367
You gave us a dirty carpet?
93
00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:41,967
No, but you're warm.
94
00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:44,343
Underneath this rug, as a
matter of fact, all over the house,
95
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,267
even in the garage,
there are sensor pads.
96
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,233
Well, it's a burglar alarm.
97
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:54,767
If a burglar steps on a
sensor, it sets off the alarm.
98
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,800
Hey, great.
99
00:04:57,867 --> 00:04:59,333
Yeah.
100
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,967
Let me show you
how to control it.
101
00:05:02,033 --> 00:05:04,633
Now, upstairs, there's a
switch to activate the alarm
102
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:07,033
when you're sleeping,
and down here
103
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,733
to turn on when
you leave the house.
104
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:14,233
Well, what do you think?
105
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,333
Well, I think it's, uh...
it's an unusual gift.
106
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,733
Yeah, but do you think
your mother will like it?
107
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,267
Oh, yes, yes, I'm sure
she'll be very surprised.
108
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,100
Yeah. Hi, Reuben.
109
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,833
Oh, hi, Shirley,
let me help you.
110
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,509
If I'd known you were
coming, I would have...
111
00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:30,267
(Alarm ringing)
112
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,633
(Ringing stops)
113
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:36,067
What was that?
114
00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:37,967
(Sighing)
115
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,033
Surprise, surprise.
116
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,600
(Alarm ringing)
117
00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:54,633
Hi.
118
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,267
(Ringing stops)
119
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,200
Uh, I was hungry.
120
00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:07,600
But I guess I'm not hungry
anymore, so I'll go back to bed.
121
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,500
(Siren blaring)
122
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:18,867
What's that?
123
00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:20,567
Company's coming.
124
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,067
I just want to remind you all
125
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,833
that human sacrifice
is against the law.
126
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:32,167
(Coughs)
127
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,000
Well, everybody ready to go?
128
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,767
Yeah, as soon as
Chris and Tracy get here.
129
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:40,467
You mean they're still in the
house? I thought they were out here.
130
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,733
I turned on...
131
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,900
(Alarm ringing)
132
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,500
(Shouting) The burglar alarm!
133
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:47,967
(Shouting) I'll go call the
police and tell them not to come!
134
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,833
(Shouting) What did she say?
135
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,500
(Groaning)
136
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,333
Mr. Stillman, I know
we've set it off eight times
137
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,767
in the last five days,
138
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,633
and I'm very sorry if the
alarm keeps waking you up,
139
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:03,300
but it's gonna take us a little time
to learn how to turn it on and off.
140
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:09,033
I don't want a
gun or a killer dog.
141
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:13,133
Mr. Stillman, a burglar
alarm is not UN-American.
142
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,433
Laurie: Mom!
143
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,100
The neighbor stopped me again.
144
00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:19,567
It's another petition
to ban the alarm.
145
00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:22,167
Put it on the bulletin
board with the rest of them.
146
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:26,733
We get any more petitions, we're
going to have to get a longer thumbtack.
147
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,500
Do you want to know what
just happened, do you?
148
00:07:29,567 --> 00:07:31,533
What? I'll tell you what.
149
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,300
While I was walking
down the street,
150
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:34,967
the neighbors started booing me.
151
00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:38,133
Booing me! Do you know
what that does for my ego?
152
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,500
Your ego could
use a little booing.
153
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,967
Something has to be done.
154
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:45,067
I don't want to hurt
Reuben's feelings, but...
155
00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:46,767
Hi.
156
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,067
Hey, Keith, when I
pulled up just now,
157
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:51,733
did I see the
neighbors booing you?
158
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,467
Yeah.
159
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:56,800
When your fans start
booing you, that's a bad sign.
160
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,467
Maybe we should get a new sound.
161
00:07:58,533 --> 00:08:00,467
Reuben, that's the problem.
162
00:08:00,533 --> 00:08:02,033
We have a new sound.
163
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,200
Huh?
164
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,900
Well, Reuben, let
me put it this way,
165
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,833
your burglar alarm has
definitely made an impression
166
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,533
upon our neighbors.
167
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,367
We keep turning
it on by accident.
168
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:16,733
And it doesn't just wake you
up, it wakes you up all over.
169
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,533
I see.
170
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,633
You don't like my present.
171
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,233
Oh, Reuben, it was
a lovely gesture,
172
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,733
and we do appreciate it...
173
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,867
(Alarm ringing)
174
00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:30,433
Shirley, you've got to
do something about that.
175
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,200
Exactly. Who could that be?
176
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,333
Chris and Tracy?
177
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,433
Upstairs.
178
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,200
The alarm's turned off.
179
00:08:36,267 --> 00:08:37,833
Well, not the one in the garage.
180
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,867
Where's Danny? Try the garage.
181
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:42,400
I'll go tell Chris and Tracy
we're not being robbed again.
182
00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:44,067
I'll go head off the neighbors.
183
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:47,167
By now, they're probably
forming a vigilante committee.
184
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:51,400
Then I'm going to take my
burglar alarm and go home!
185
00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:53,033
(Ringing continues)
186
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,800
Danny!
187
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:57,700
(Ringing stops)
188
00:08:57,767 --> 00:09:00,367
Danny, come on out.
I know you're in here.
189
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,000
The name ain't Danny.
It's Morris. Don't scream.
190
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,600
Who... who are you?
191
00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:06,800
Morris dinkler, ex-con.
192
00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:11,200
Now, don't do anything or I'll
be forced to bring out big Bertha.
193
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,643
What are you gonna do?
I'm not gonna do anything.
194
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,533
I just need a place
to stay till tomorrow.
195
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,033
I got places to go.
196
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,333
Here.
197
00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,833
Sit down.
198
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,433
Sit down!
199
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,300
You know, you're in big trouble.
200
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,200
You set off the burglar alarm.
201
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,900
The police are on
their way here right now.
202
00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:42,700
You're fibbing to me. You know.
203
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,033
The police aren't coming.
204
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,333
You heard the alarm.
205
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,567
I heard it last night.
206
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:48,967
That's why I picked this place.
207
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,467
You obviously just
got a new alarm, right?
208
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,333
How did you know?
209
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,043
Well, when people first
get their new alarm systems,
210
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:57,667
they tend to set them
off by accident, a lot.
211
00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,033
And after a while, the
police know it's a mistake,
212
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,733
and they just call you on the
telephone and tell you to turn it off.
213
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,767
Now, is there anyone
else in the house?
214
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:08,500
No.
215
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:11,000
Mom, I really didn't set it off.
216
00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:12,467
Hi.
217
00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:14,300
Hi.
218
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,233
You lied to me.
219
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:23,000
Is that any way to build a
relationship based on mutual trust?
220
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:24,500
What's going on?
221
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:25,867
Nothing, honey, it's all right.
222
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,200
Everything's dandy.
223
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,400
You got a gun, kid?
224
00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:29,600
What?
225
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,633
What's this? It's my frog.
226
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,067
(Groans)
227
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,133
Now I'll have warts.
228
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,733
Once again, is there
anyone else in the house?
229
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,400
No, no, just Danny and I.
230
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,400
Oh, boy. You caught Danny.
231
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,367
Yeah, we want to
watch you beat him up.
232
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,800
What are these, talking dolls?
233
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:50,667
Mom, do you want
me to make lunch?
234
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:54,233
Oh, boy, I'm in a house with
snow white and the seven dwarfs.
235
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,600
All that's missing
is simple Simon.
236
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:57,833
Hi.
237
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,267
All present and accounted for.
238
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:18,200
I still can't believe you chose our
house because of the burglar alarm.
239
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:19,467
Ironic, ain't it?
240
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:21,467
(Laughs)
241
00:11:21,533 --> 00:11:23,933
How's the food
coming? I'm starving.
242
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,533
Will bread and water do?
I'm sure you're used to that.
243
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,367
I got a feeling
you don't like me.
244
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:30,100
I'm really not a bad guy.
245
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,000
You're a criminal. You
broke into our home.
246
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,467
I won't hurt anybody. Honest.
247
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:34,767
I don't even like guns.
248
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:36,967
In fact, I'm not
even a real criminal.
249
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:38,767
You were in jail.
Well, I deserved it.
250
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,633
I was a lookout for a robbery.
251
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,443
I didn't want to do it, but the gang
promised they'd beat me up if I didn't.
252
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:46,500
But I was guilty and
the fact's the fact.
253
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:49,700
Instead of bread and water, would
you like some soup with your sandwich?
254
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:51,233
Yeah, that would be nice.
255
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,967
Just promise me one thing. Huh?
256
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:57,033
If you like the food, don't
recommend it to your friends.
257
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,800
(Laughing)
258
00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:01,967
(Whispering) We've
got to get out of here.
259
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,400
(Whispering) I've got a plan.
260
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:08,900
If we all run, one of us
is bound to get away.
261
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:12,367
Right. He couldn't
catch all five of us.
262
00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:14,733
Okay, when I give the signal,
263
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,367
we all make a break for it.
264
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:17,800
Pass it on.
265
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:23,033
When Danny gives the signal,
we all make a break for it.
266
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,933
Pass it on.
267
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,167
When Danny gives the signal,
we'll all make a break for it.
268
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,367
Pass it on.
269
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:34,800
When Danny gives the signal,
we'll all make a break for it. Pass it on.
270
00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:37,467
When Danny...
Don't try it. Pass it on.
271
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Don't try it. Pass it on.
272
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,400
Don't try it. Pass it on.
273
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:47,867
Never mind.
274
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,633
We know.
275
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,833
(Doorbell rings)
276
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,367
Right. Nobody move.
277
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,533
Missus? Missus!
278
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:00,767
Now, whoever it
is, get rid of them.
279
00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:03,733
And remember, me and
Bertha are gonna be in the closet,
280
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,400
listening to every word you say.
281
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:08,033
(Humming)
282
00:13:09,733 --> 00:13:10,967
Oh, hi, Shirley.
283
00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:13,833
Listen, I talked to the
vigilante committee.
284
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:15,933
That's nice. Reuben,
you can't come in.
285
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,167
I'm very busy.
286
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:19,467
(Whispering) There's a
man in the closet with a gun.
287
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,076
What do you mean,
you're very busy? I just...
288
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,467
I'm sorry, Reuben, I'm busy.
289
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:25,667
There's a man in
the closet with a gun!
290
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:27,333
What?
291
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,543
She said, "There's a man
in the closet with a gun."
292
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:30,600
oh, well, Shirley,
if you're busy...
293
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,400
Whoa!
294
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:36,200
Don't shoot. I only
have six months to live.
295
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,867
Maybe less.
296
00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:40,800
I don't like your looks. You
have small, beady eyes.
297
00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:42,100
You're a cop.
298
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:43,933
I am not. A "Prevert."
299
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,300
he's our manager.
300
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,000
A manager.
301
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:50,467
This is Shirley partridge
of the partridge family.
302
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,200
You are the partridge family!
303
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,500
Wow, I sing your
songs all the time.
304
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:02,833
♪ I think I love you...
305
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,600
I used to drive the
guards daffy with that.
306
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:06,200
They'd wonder who
I was singing it to.
307
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:09,633
Oh, it's a great honor
having you as hostages.
308
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,967
Well, thank you very much.
309
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,500
Shirley, why are
you thanking him?
310
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:23,933
"go to jail.
311
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,900
"go directly to jail."
312
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:27,667
that's the story of my life.
313
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:29,567
Why don't you just break out?
314
00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:31,100
Because that's not nice.
315
00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:33,467
You've got to play by the rules.
316
00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:35,667
Would you listen to that?
317
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,433
(Laughs) Huh?
318
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,167
A man with a gun is
giving a lecture on morals.
319
00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:43,333
Reuben, don't get upset.
There's nothing we can do about it.
320
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,400
Hey, look, I got
plenty of morals.
321
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,400
I want the kids to
learn how to play fair
322
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:50,200
so they don't wind
up in jail like I did.
323
00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:53,533
Well, if you want to give them a lesson
in morals, why don't you give yourself up?
324
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,367
Because I don't want to
wind up in jail like I did!
325
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,167
Now, quit bugging me!
326
00:14:58,233 --> 00:14:59,900
I'm playing with the kids.
327
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,400
Reuben!
328
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:04,867
It's okay. It'll give
us a chance to talk.
329
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:07,800
I never feel like small talk
when my life's in danger.
330
00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:10,300
We can make a plan
to get out of here.
331
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,867
But we can't sneak out.
332
00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:14,533
He can see the front
and back door from there.
333
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,767
Wait a minute!
This'll get us out.
334
00:15:18,867 --> 00:15:20,400
I don't think it'll work.
335
00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:23,633
Unless he's afraid
of getting a hickey.
336
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,367
But we can use it to
get a message out.
337
00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:26,467
Exactly.
338
00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:28,000
A toy bow and
arrow. That's silly.
339
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,267
You got a better idea?
340
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,633
First, we'll need a note.
341
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:34,200
Let's say that there's an
escaped criminal in here
342
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,300
with a gun, and
to call the police.
343
00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:37,633
Laurie, I know.
344
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,900
I'm in the story, remember?
345
00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:41,467
Hey, what are you
mumbling about?
346
00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:44,367
Uh, we were just saying
how stuffy it is in here.
347
00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:45,900
Would you mind if I
opened a window?
348
00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:47,733
No, go right ahead.
349
00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:55,433
But close the shutters.
350
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,067
I don't want anybody looking in.
351
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,000
Okay, this is gonna
take precise timing.
352
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:06,733
I'll try to keep his attention.
353
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,067
Right. Reuben, you and
Laurie work the shutters.
354
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,400
Roger.
355
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:15,633
Morris, um, I thought
you might still be hungry.
356
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,467
Morris: Oh, that's
very hospitable of you.
357
00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:21,033
You know, breaking out of
jail does work up an appetite.
358
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,400
(Chuckles)
359
00:16:26,967 --> 00:16:27,967
Hurry up.
360
00:16:28,033 --> 00:16:29,367
Okay, okay.
361
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,633
Okay, now.
362
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,300
Morris: What was that noise?
363
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,267
Noise? What noise?
364
00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:50,567
That noise.
365
00:16:51,667 --> 00:16:54,100
Oh, that.
366
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:57,133
Oh, I was just, uh,
target-practicing.
367
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:01,033
Yes. See, he hit the
window. Dead center.
368
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,533
Dead center, all right.
369
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,167
(Laughing)
370
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,300
You misspelled "Criminal."
371
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,533
Hey, gang, why don't you relax?
372
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,933
It's very hard to relax, staring
down the barrel of a loaded jacket.
373
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,200
Look, I don't mean
to inconvenience you.
374
00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:36,167
Why don't you go ahead and
just do what you normally do?
375
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:40,200
Well, normally, this is about
the time I always call the police.
376
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:44,300
I've really come
to like you people.
377
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,700
Most of you.
378
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,700
Come here. I've got a plan.
379
00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:57,033
Tell him you have to rehearse.
Get him out to the garage.
380
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,300
What good will that do?
381
00:17:58,367 --> 00:17:59,900
I am going to hide.
382
00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:01,733
If you distract him,
he may not miss me.
383
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,733
Then, when you're
gone, I'll call the police.
384
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,067
It's worth a try. Come on, kids.
385
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:07,733
Okay.
386
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:14,800
Morris, you just said
that we should do
387
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:17,700
what we would
normally do, right?
388
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,200
Well, we have to rehearse
for a concert this week.
389
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,433
Would you mind?
390
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,933
Mind it? I'd love it.
391
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,267
Well, our instruments
are out in the garage.
392
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,700
Be my guest.
393
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,033
You know, it's an
awful lot to ask,
394
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,500
but I play a mean harmonica.
395
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:34,433
It's one of the things
I learned in prison.
396
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:38,233
What I mean is, could
I sort of jam with you?
397
00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:40,633
Of course. Come on.
398
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,267
Oh, good.
399
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,567
Coming, Kincaid?
400
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:49,000
On my way.
401
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:53,467
(Playing sunshine eyes)
402
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,967
Keith: ♪ running in and
out of love on a carousel
403
00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:05,500
♪ up and down and all around
404
00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:07,900
♪ I knew that game so well
405
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:13,333
♪ searching for the sun
406
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,733
♪ and always finding rain
407
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,967
♪ no matter where love started
408
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:24,233
♪ it always would end the same
409
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,067
♪ it always ended the same
410
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:30,900
♪ now it seems
a whole lot better
411
00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:32,900
♪ sunshine eyes
412
00:19:32,967 --> 00:19:35,033
♪ sunshine eyes
413
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:39,233
♪ when your sunshine
eyes keep shining down on me
414
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,367
♪ sunshine eyes
your sunshine eyes
415
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:46,567
♪ and I know that
we can make it together
416
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:48,667
♪ sunshine eyes
417
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:50,733
♪ sunshine eyes
418
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:55,400
♪ I'm feeling good
and now it's no surprise
419
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:57,600
♪ sunshine eyes
420
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,833
go ahead, Morris. Play it.
421
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:35,967
♪ Lights up the darkest day
422
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:39,900
♪ now it seems
a whole lot better
423
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:41,900
♪ sunshine eyes
424
00:20:41,967 --> 00:20:43,300
♪ sunshine eyes
425
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,167
♪ when your sunshine eyes
426
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:48,000
♪ keep smiling down on me
427
00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:49,567
♪ sunshine eyes
428
00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:51,067
♪ your sunshine eyes
429
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:55,533
♪ and I know that
we can make it together
430
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,567
♪ sunshine eyes
431
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,667
♪ sunshine eyes
432
00:20:59,733 --> 00:21:04,300
♪ I'm feeling good
and now it's no surprise
433
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:06,467
♪ sunshine eyes
434
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,100
(all exclaiming)
435
00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:14,767
Keith: Hey, that
was way too much.
436
00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:17,400
Hey, that was great. I haven't
had that much fun in years.
437
00:21:17,467 --> 00:21:20,100
Morris, I can't believe
that you're a criminal.
438
00:21:20,167 --> 00:21:21,767
I don't feel like one.
439
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:23,309
I would have been up for
parole in about four months.
440
00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:25,000
Then why did you break out?
441
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:27,467
I didn't break out.
442
00:21:27,533 --> 00:21:30,633
Uh... actually, the gang
took me along as a hostage.
443
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:33,667
After an hour, they
threw me out of the car.
444
00:21:33,733 --> 00:21:37,733
Morris, you said that
tomorrow you have places to go.
445
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:40,867
I got no place to go.
446
00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:43,433
Why don't you give yourself up?
447
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:46,067
You think they'd believe
I actually allowed myself
448
00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,067
to accidentally
escape from prison?
449
00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:50,467
I wouldn't be up
for parole for years.
450
00:21:50,533 --> 00:21:51,933
But we'll help you.
451
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,433
We'll tell them the
way it really was.
452
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:58,167
Well, uh, thanks a lot, but
it wouldn't happen for me.
453
00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:01,167
Well, I just don't believe this.
454
00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:03,233
You people are feeling sorry
455
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,933
for an admitted
thief and jail breaker.
456
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,533
Reuben, there are
extenuating circumstances.
457
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,800
Well, if you won't
protect yourselves,
458
00:22:11,867 --> 00:22:15,200
I feel obligated
to do it for you.
459
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:18,067
I have just turned
on the burglar alarm,
460
00:22:18,133 --> 00:22:21,700
and now I am going to step
on the sensor pad and set it off.
461
00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:23,433
Ha!
462
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:24,833
Could have sworn it was there.
463
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,233
Don't move!
464
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:28,933
Don't move.
465
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,467
Don't try that again, or you're
gonna get a little taste of this!
466
00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:37,833
What are you going to do
with that, fill me full of wind?
467
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,233
You mean, big Bertha
is your harmonica?
468
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:45,567
I told you, I don't like guns.
469
00:22:45,633 --> 00:22:47,600
(Alarm ringing)
470
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,467
(Ringing stops)
471
00:22:52,533 --> 00:22:54,333
I can't do anything right.
472
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,767
Now, you're caught
Mr. Music man.
473
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,600
The police will be
here any minute.
474
00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,167
No, they're not gonna come.
475
00:23:00,233 --> 00:23:02,933
The police are gonna call
and ask you to turn off the alarm
476
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,867
because you're
disturbing the neighbors.
477
00:23:04,933 --> 00:23:06,800
(Phone ringing)
478
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,300
What'd I tell you?
479
00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:11,567
There goes your law and order.
480
00:23:11,633 --> 00:23:15,533
Morris, we all know
that's the police.
481
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,667
If I don't answer the
phone, they'll come.
482
00:23:17,733 --> 00:23:19,867
I think this ought
to be your choice.
483
00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:23,367
Either I answer the
phone, or you can.
484
00:23:26,433 --> 00:23:27,933
You want me to give myself up?
485
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,700
We'll be character
witnesses for you.
486
00:23:29,767 --> 00:23:32,233
Sure. We'll tell
them everything.
487
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:34,700
We'll even get you a
lawyer if we have to.
488
00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:36,600
Tracy: Mr. Morris,
489
00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:39,467
you told us we should
play by the rules.
490
00:23:39,533 --> 00:23:41,733
(Ringing continues)
491
00:23:50,567 --> 00:23:52,500
Maybe I better answer the phone.
492
00:23:52,567 --> 00:23:54,333
I think it's for me.
493
00:24:06,267 --> 00:24:08,100
Officer metscur,
494
00:24:08,167 --> 00:24:09,943
do you think the authorities
will believe Morris' story?
495
00:24:09,967 --> 00:24:11,233
I know they will.
496
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,476
In fact, we knew
from the beginning
497
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:15,200
that he was taken as a hostage.
498
00:24:15,267 --> 00:24:17,133
You did? How did you know that?
499
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,167
You were the only one running to
the getaway car with his hands up.
500
00:24:20,233 --> 00:24:23,667
Look, if there's any trouble,
501
00:24:23,733 --> 00:24:26,367
I'll be glad to
testify on his behalf.
502
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,933
We all will.
503
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Gee, thanks. That's very nice.
504
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,467
Uh, you know, Kincaid,
505
00:24:35,533 --> 00:24:37,767
I, uh... I misjudged you.
506
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,467
You're all right.
507
00:24:39,533 --> 00:24:41,376
Too bad you can't do something
about those beady eyes.
508
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,300
(All laughing)
509
00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:45,233
I better go.
510
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,600
I don't want to
overstay my welcome.
511
00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:50,167
Uh, Mrs. Partridge,
512
00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:52,333
thanks again.
513
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,800
You're one person who could make
solitary confinement a real pleasure.
514
00:24:58,633 --> 00:25:00,767
Bye, Kincaid, kids.
515
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,533
Morris? Huh?
516
00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:10,167
Before you go, I
want you to have this.
517
00:25:12,267 --> 00:25:13,867
You're a good kid.
518
00:25:13,933 --> 00:25:15,433
I couldn't ask
for a better gift.
519
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:16,533
What is it?
520
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,933
A "Get out of jail free" Card!
521
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,600
(All laughing)
37577
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