All language subtitles for The Second Best Hospital in the Galaxy s01e03.eng

♪ ♪

[panting]

[groans]

[panting]

[groans]

Whew!

[snoring]

- [crackling]
- [gasps]

[grunts]

[groans]

- Morning.
- [mumbling] Morning.

♪ ♪

[Sleech yawns]

Not a huge deal,
but could you not eat

anything that screams
after second sunset?

I have to be up early
for Time Loops 101:

- Time Loops 101.
- Yeah. Cool.

I haven't decided on
my specialization.

Are you still going with
whatever makes you rich?

Tentacle reduction,
here I come.

I've narrowed it down
to 26 types

of xeno-botano-geneticist.

Hey, down from 44.

I can't believe we get one shot
to decide our future.

- What if we choose wrong?
- Klak.

Of course we'll choose wrong.

[device ringing]

[gasps] Are you ignoring calls
from my brother?

Are you obsessively checking
for calls from Slug Girl?

[gasps]

[sighs] She just canceled
our plans.

I should tell her I love her.

- Is that her hovercar?
- [gasps]

[Klak] Ah... No. Stolen. Why?

My car is the worst in the lot.

[both scream]

- [panting]
- We could have died.

I should call Slug Girl.

- She'd want to know.
- [both laugh]

♪ ♪

[Bing'Zoik Jones] We are
witnessing

once-in-a-lifetime
backwards rain.

[grunts]

In other news, a sixth person
has been brutally murdered.

[Klak] Morning.

- But back to the rain.
- [yawns] Morning.

A severe telekinetic anomaly
dubbed Hurricane Floyd

is causing everything
in the small...

[yawns]

♪ ♪

Mm.

Okay, worm time.

Yes! After we do
this one teeny tiny thing

I may have forgotten to mention.

An infest-ectomy
that we're performing?

And Azel's the guest lecturer?

Are they?
I totally forgot.

I am Dr. Azel.

Today we're doing
an infest-ectomy.

Dr. Klak begins with
a perfect incision.

She is a meticulous,
rule-abiding surgeon.

Sometimes
an extraction is impossible,

-so we step back...
-Sleech.

...to prevent transmission.

Is there room in that torso
for two?

- [grunting]
- [gasps]

[groaning]

[Sleech straining]

You've just witnessed Dr. Sleech
do what Dr. Sleech does best:

blatantly disregard protocol.

Uh, what's wrong
with Azel's face?

I think that's a look of...

respect.

Dr. Sleech, you've once again
ruined a surgical demonstration.

And saved a life.
Admit it, you loved it.

Textbook as ever, Dr. Klak.

- Is that a good thing?
- Mm-hmm.

Those glasses suit you.

[interns cheering]

[chuckles]

Dr. Sleech.

You cannonballed into that body

with the grace of
a Harganthian Hogflea.

What a privilege to be
entered by you, medically.

I apologize
for my visible arousal.

Well, that's my cue.

I've been hoping
to speak with you.

Despite its sudden nature,

I don't regret our public
and frenetic fornication.

I also like that your emotions
and actions tend to line up.

Most people's do not.

If you're interested,

perhaps we could go
watch a sun die sometime?

Oh! No.

I thought
I was attracted to you, too,

but it was just the aphrodisiac
effect of the spore goo.

You can get a cream,
should clear that right up.

Of course. I'll get a cream.

- [device chirps]
- Ooh! Always on call.

Doctor, doctor, doctor.

Oh, man. Did you see how quick
I was with the excision?

I didn't feel it.
Do it again.

I meant in the surgery.
Ah, forget it.

Keep twisting that.

- [Matt] Whoa!
- [Sleech screeching]

[Tup] And that concludes
our daily list of

"Things Bagnoth has left
in patients."

- Larvin must be starving.
- Pretty standard day.

Let's keep up the good work
that no one notices.

Coming in hot, Nurse Tup.

Allergy meds?

I thought today wasn't
a high-pollen...

[sneezes] Ah.

And you should take
one step to your left.

Ah!

So, what robo-horse
should I bet on

at the tracks this weekend?

[laughing]

Have you met that woman before,
Nurse Tup?

- Nope.
- Diagnosis?

Ooh, hyperextended
temporal vision?

Patient exhibits
possible precognition

- or dimension bleed.
- Ooh.

- [device rings]
- Why is my brother calling me?

Flim? I can't believe
I ever broke up with him.

A hot lawyer at the GHU.

- Objection, myself.
- Overruled.

- He's much happier now.
- [laughs]

Hey! You are not permitted to...

Run my own encephalo-chrono-
radiative tests?

You told me to. [laughs]

Hi, girls. I'm Luxex.

You don't remember me,
but we go way back to today.

A bunch of times.
I'm in a time loop.

- We're gonna need some...
- Proof. You always do.

Yep. She's in a time loop.

Okay, to answer
your next questions,

- yes, sleech, you have a UTI.
- [gasps]

- No, Klak, you didn't
leave the lab fire on. - [sighs]

And the reason I'm here
is because I need you

to remove my LoopChip.

A LoopChip?
Like from those old ads?

[Luxex] Life. It's what makes
existence worth doing.

- [screeching]
- So why does it have to end?

Our answer is: it doesn't.

LoopChip identifies
the exact moment of death,

and using our patented
Time Loop technology,

safely relocates you
to wherever you were

twelve hours before death.

While LoopChip cannot reverse
or prevent your death,

it can give you plenty of time

to find a hospital
to address your symptoms.

Buy it before it's illegal.

'Cause if it ever is,
it already has been.

[all singing along] ♪ Tomorrow's
death is yesterday's problem ♪♪

I was LoopChip's
primary investor.

I'm the reason lots of
your favorite gadgets were made.

Gravity Blasters,
Erasable Scents, Memory Gum.

Memory Gum? What's that?

[laughs] Exactly.

How many times have you seen us?

A few weeks of todays.

I come in,
we sing the jingle,

I explain I'm gonna die
from a triple heart attack

at 4:57 p.m.,
to which you say...

[both] I have always wanted
to do a time surgery.

Oh, this is fun. Do Klak.
Say what Klak's saying.

[both] No, please don't.
It's so spooky.

Okay, that's enough. Ah...

You've done it many times.

Last loop,
you almost got it out.

I'm gonna regret this.

Time to compete
against the greatest surgeons

- in the galaxy: ourselves.
- [chuckles]

[employee] Number sglorb-glorb
and 15 groundsans

to window threenty.

Again,
sglorb-glorb and 15 groundsans,

window threenty.

We were supposed to be
picking our specializations,

not reporting
our stolen hovercar.

[gasps] We're gonna
miss the deadline,

never get jobs,
and then I'll be forced to

cowrite my mom's next book
to pay rent! [exhales sharply]

Stop Klak-tastrophizing.

Don't use my mom's term.

[groaning]

Ah! Is anyone a doctor?

- Yes!
- Kind of.

Time for us
to remove the LoopChip.

The chip's designed
to prevent tampering,

so when it's exposed to air,

a slow-motion bubble
will appear.

[Klak] Slowing down
everything near the chip.

[Sleech] Except for us.

I'll use a tachyon booster

to make us move hyperfast,

which, in slow motion,

will make us move
at normal speeds.

[Klak] At which point, we can
disable the slo-mo bubble.

Because of the tachyon,

We'll be moving
dangerously fast,

so I'll bring
the room's temp down

to 30 DelZorks to slow us down.

[Lexux] That happened last loop.

Not this loop.

I'll bring the room's temp down
to 40 DelZorks,

and then it's all systems go
to remove the chip.

[grunts, groans]

[gasps] Look.

- A range extender.
- That's for couples.

It extends the time loop
to two people.

Romance may be dead,
but you're not.

What if we did something
that wasn't textbook?

- Azel still in your head?
- And in my heart.

These loops could give us
a consequence-free way

to run tests on Larvin.

Do you think
that range extender

could bring three people
into the time loop?

Why would you want
to join my time loop?

We'd like to research something

that could help a lot of people

but could also kill us
in the process.

Hmm. High risk, high reward.
You're speaking my language.

Put my name down as an early
investor and give me 50%.

- You don't even know
what it is! - [Sleech] Deal.

Can't wait to see
what I invested in.

- [device crackling]
- Ah! My hearts attacks.

[groaning]

We are witnessing

once-in-a-lifetime
backwards rain.

[groans]

- In other news...
- We did it.

We're in Luxex's time loop.

So, it appears we're in
a hospital-wide time loop.

Our best guess is there's
some sort of illegal time device

with a limited range.

I've alerted the GHU,
though it's impossible for them

to travel into
an active time loop,

so, really, we're on our own
without a life raft.

Will we ever find out
if Dagogo clones

the clone of her clone
on hit show My Lover, My Clone?

[sighs] Only time, tricky
mistress that she is, will tell.

All we can do is our jobs,

- which today are
the same as yesterday. - Hmm?

Okay, everyone,
have a nice loop.

Uh, you should move.

I didn't mean to loop
the entire hospital with us.

We're putting everyone at risk.

At risk of what?

There are no known side effects
of time loops.

[chuckling] At risk of what?

At risk of dying
and starting a new multiverse.

At risk of causing
collective psychological trauma.

At risk of going to Time Jail.

I've heard that
by the time you get out,

you haven't even gone in.

- This was your idea.
- I know, I know.

The research, the glory,
the helping people.

Two of which would impress Azel.

Okay, Larvin,
you better be worth it.

[worm groans]

Hey, Dr. Plowp,

do you have any idea
who is behind this loop?

Can you feel anyone's guilt?

Uh... Just the titillating guilt

around Flork's affair
with Gonto from HR.

Okay. [laughs]

Hiring empaths is a liability,
huh?

I don't know
who could've looped us.

This is a Splee creature.

This is Dr. Klak.

And I'm Luxex.
Hope your brain's profitable.

Thank you for taking part
in this clinical trial.

It could help a lot of people.

Oh, yeah. Okay. [chuckles]

- He's already out of anxiety.
- Ah...

You might get away
with my murder,

- but they'll find the others.
- Murder?

As expected, the worm
manufactured more anxiety.

[beeping rapidly]

[all groaning]

- Whoa!
- [cries out]

[groans]

[gasps, groans]

- [both panting]
- We are witnessing

once-in-a-lifetime
backwards rain...

Okay, so... no on the Splee.

That guy was a murderer, right?

Oh, yeah. So, uh...
How about a Gorp?

A sixth person
has been brutally murdered.

[Klak sighs]

[groaning]

- We are witnessing...
- So no on the Gorp.

Who's next?

[♪ Kevan Gallagher & Lorenzo
De Feo: "Rise to the Top"]

♪ I'm coming back
to rise again ♪

♪ Nothing can slow me down
or make me stop ♪

♪ 'Cause nothing can
stand in my way ♪

♪ I'm gonna rise to the top ♪♪

In all the known universes,
there's no host it won't kill.

[singsongy] Hey, ladies.

Just wanted to let you know
I'm a tad woozy.

No big... [groans]

[Sleech pants]

- The chip is overheating.
- Mm... My butt.

Has he done anything unusual
recently? Has he been sick?

He's been fine.
Out of nowhere, he...

- Found it.
- Gravity Blasters.

Our neighbor brought them
back from vacation.

We don't need your life story.
Klak?

We could pump his stomach,
but we don't have time.

There's the Gamklin-Mackel
maneuver,

but the only way that would work
is if it were in conjunction

with some kind of
internal combustion.

- Oh, no.
- What?

- We need to feed him a bomb.
- Whoa.

[sighs] I'm so sorry, Luxex.
We're ending this.

Another failed investment,
Mommy.

Okay, I'm gonna remove the chip.

Yet again, we've saved the...

- Whoa! [gasps]
- What?

You've been brought back in time
by the Galactic Health Unit

for removing a LoopChip device,

which was recalled
and criminalized this morning.

You're under arrest.

On the bright side,
we stopped the time loop.

Okay, folks,
looks like we're done looping.

Remember, this does not count
towards overtime,

and whatever you did today
is for keeps.

Too bad about the haircut,
Nerlo.

The Galactic Health Unit
welcomes you as our guest.

We have brought you
back to this time

so all LoopChip Time Device
criminals

- can be tried at once.
- I'm, uh... [chuckles]

Take us to Flim.

He's her brother
and my former lover.

You're Flim's sister.

We're on a Tersker Ball team
together.

Whoa! [shooing]

[clears throat]

Well, if it isn't
my younger older brother.

Why would you mess
with an illegal time chip?

If I weren't
the GHU's lead counsel,

you'd be spending eternity
in Time Jail for ten years!

Hey, remember when we hooked up?

I was so young then. So lithe.

You broke up with me
three weeks ago.

Okay. [laughs]
Why would I break up with you?

You are so hot and smart.

Very toned.
Do you like older women?

According to my therapist...
Hang on. I took notes.

Uh, you're not attracted
to people who challenge you,

likely because
you're subconsciously

afraid of real intimacy.

Ew, your therapist is Mom.

Of course you talked about me
in therapy.

What were you wearing?

Also, you said
I look too much like Klak,

and it's weird during sex.

I can get you both back home,
but I need to arrest Luxex.

- No! You have to
let us treat her. - Ooh!

It's my fault she broke the law.

[laughs] You think this is
her first infraction?

We've been tracking her
for decades, in both directions.

Stop playing with my portal!

I'm the reason she's hurt, okay?

I-I was... I was trying to
impress someone.

Everything we've done
will be for nothing

- if I let her die now.
- And, if this room is bugged,

I was the mastermind
and Klak merely my pawn.

- I'm the one you want.
- [sighs] Fine, treat her.

And be back here with Luxex
in one hour. Understood?

- Understood.
- Can we borrow your car?

No.

♪ ♪

- [both grunt]
- [snoring]

- You were so cute.
- I'm glad I knew it.

Oh, Robo Yaba. You loved her.

I still do, even after
all the replacement parts.

Got the keys.

Whew.

[both groan]

[snoring]

[gasps, groans]

- [young Klak] Morning.
- [young Sleech] Morning.

- Are we...?
- Is today that day?

[both grunt]

Should we tell them
not to go to Planet Glonk

for spring break?

No. It was an important lesson,

- and we got
really good pictures. - [chuckles] Yeah.

- Is that our hovercar?
- Ah, no!

Stolen. Why?

Mm. [sighs]

[chuckles]

[both grunting]

You're sure this will work?

If I'm being honest,
not at all.

Trust us, we're surgeons.

Whoa. Did we just select
our specialization?

[grunting]

Dr. Sleech,
would you do the honors

- of saving this man's life?
- Thank you. [grunts]

Everyone, stand back.

[gasps] What happened?

Two fake doctors
just saved your life.

Number sclorb-glorb and
threeve double groundsans.

Finally.

We're here to report
a stolen hovercar.

[upbeat music playing on radio]

Ah, music used to be
so much better.

[groans]

[Azel] Oh, lunch.

You can set it on the cadaver.

[groans] Couldn't we have
gone to someone else?

Anyone else would report us.
[clears throat]

Hello, Azel.

We're here
illegally time-traveling

with ethical cause,
and we need access

to an operating room,
a sterilized bio-containment

- level four
equipped operating orb. - Which you have access to,

and we're using you for.

So you don't have my lunch?

Will you help us or not?

You get to scrub in
on a rare time surgery.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

[gasps]
Are we tomorrow?

We took a detour,
but we're headed there now.

You were amazing in there.

You taught me everything I know.

I wonder why
future you never mentioned this.

I had no idea we'd met before.

It will be hard
to keep the secret.

I can't wait to know you.

Thanks for letting me use
your big, big phone.

- We're leaving.
- Catch you in the past later.

[sighs]

So, what's gonna happen to me
when we get to the GHU?

You're going to meet
a very sexy lawyer,

and then he's gonna arrest you.

Yeah. [laughs]
I'm not coming.

- [groans]
- I promised my brother.

I let you scorch my brain.

[sighs] Flim's gonna kill me.

- Will you be okay?
- Oh, yeah.

I have a great project
that's illegal in our time.

"Wakey-Sleeps."

It's a pill that makes you
look awake while you sleep.

Great for long drives.

Oh, I am going to be so rich.

[beeps]

I'm sorry about Luxex.

I expected it.

I'm not scheduled to catch her
until seven years ago.

- Bye. Call me!
- No.

Oh, you were great today!

I have never seen you
confident around Azel.

They saw me
as this bold, daring surgeon.

You are a bold, daring surgeon.

Just as soon as you've made sure

the situation is safe enough
to be bold and daring.

So, the Klak that Azel fell for
was older, smarter,

and more successful than them.

That's the version of me
that Azel wants.

Outside of this one
highly improbable time anomaly,

I'll always be a disappointment.

If it helps,
when you were washing up,

I was extremely mean to Azel,
who's been mean to me forever.

Is that why Azel's mean to me?

Because I was mean to them?

Because they were mean to me?

Whoa! Well, no one to blame.

Was that Vlam?

[device ringing]

If it isn't my older brother

who's back
to being older than me.

So this is why you called?

I wanted to make sure
you guys got back okay.

Yeah, we're okay.

[beeping]

Got to go.

So, a time loop, huh?

Any thoughts on temporal riffs

and their effects
on innocent bystanders?

Hmm? Oh, totally.

It took me, like,
three full days

to figure out we were looping.

I actually have to go, Matt.

All right, cool.
See you next loop.

You know the looping is over,
right?

Never mind. Forget it.

Oh, there you are.

Now that the loops are done,
you conveniently reappear.

Day after day
of the same agonies,

the same deaths,
the same fears.

I watched a woman lay
the same painful egg

every single loop.

- [groans]
- Well, now I want an omelet.

[chuckles]

- I was gone because...
- [yelping]

The less I know, the better.

I lied to Flork for you,
and I never lie.

I didn't ask you to.

I know!
That's the worst part!

And due to puberty, my emotions
are all over the map.

I am dismayed to be
speaking at this volume.

You challenge me, you know that?

What? Is that a good thing?

I don't know.

♪ ♪

[older Sleech] ...the lot
near Nebula General.

Thanks and enjoy the snacks.

Also, I am not Sleech.

[chewing loudly]

- [gasps]
- Bus!

[siren wailing]

- Diagnosis?
- Dead on impact.

Hey, maybe she has one of
those LoopChip things.

♪ Tomorrow's death is
yesterday's problem ♪

♪ Tomorrow's death is
yesterday's problem ♪

♪ Tomorrow's death is
yesterday's problem ♪♪

Chirp.

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