All language subtitles for Family Guy - S17E19 - Girl, Internetted (Uncensored)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:05,070 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:08,240 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,943 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,913 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:18,250 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,536 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,154 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,956 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:30,128 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,669 I tell you, Sundays are the best, aren't they? 11 00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,772 You said it, chief. 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,217 Hey, Chris, what's the name of the girl 13 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,286 on the end of the couch? I'm sure I've met her before. 14 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,511 I'll introduce myself to her. That'll get her to say it. 15 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,881 Hi. I'm Chris. 16 00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,482 Hi, Chris. 17 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,367 Well, that didn't work. 18 00:00:52,436 --> 00:00:54,581 This Sunday at the Quahog Convention Center, 19 00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:56,271 it's Streaming-Con. 20 00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:57,672 All your favorite YouTubers, 21 00:00:57,741 --> 00:00:59,507 Instagrammers, 22 00:00:59,576 --> 00:01:02,678 social media mavens and digital influencers under one roof. 23 00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:06,080 Social media? Better swap my glasses for a monocle 24 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,844 that will pop out when I'm confronted with modern talk. 25 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:12,370 LOL at thousands of the hottest Vimeos, memes, 26 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,455 epic fails. 27 00:01:13,523 --> 00:01:15,023 Heavens! 28 00:01:15,091 --> 00:01:18,360 Meet disgraced YouTube star Logan Paul and his cool bus, 29 00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:20,072 the Golden Throated Homeless Guy 30 00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:21,829 and his cool bus he poops in, 31 00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:23,610 Newly Sober Cat... 32 00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:25,512 formerly Grumpy Cat... 33 00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:27,931 and teen influencers Tyler Oakley... Who? 34 00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,382 Lele Pons... What? 35 00:01:29,406 --> 00:01:30,717 GloZell... Where? 36 00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:32,402 Joey Graceffa! When? 37 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,454 Sunday. I already said that. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 38 00:01:34,478 --> 00:01:36,711 With special guest star, everyone's favorite 39 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:40,331 Internet how-to whiz, Corey from Corey's World. 40 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,368 What's going on, guys? I'm Corey from Corey's World. 41 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,282 And I'm gonna be live and in-person at the Quahog Streaming-Con, 42 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,206 where you'll see I'm only five-foot-two. 43 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,675 And remember, that Nazi stuff I said was in the heat 44 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,543 of a very competitive Halo game. 45 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,980 And congratulations to Goldblatt69, 46 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,193 whose people definitely do not control the media 47 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,251 and all banking. 48 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,052 Dad, can we go to Streaming-Con? 49 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,865 Well, I wasn't watching all that closely. 50 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,100 Is it like a rodeo? 51 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,790 Um, sure. 52 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,059 We're going to Streaming-Con! Giddyup! 53 00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:13,031 Looks like someone's going to Streaming-Con. 54 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,967 Rope a doggy for me. 55 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,309 Everyone, look around. 56 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,212 This. We are slowly losing to this. 57 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,547 Well, I don't know if we're... 58 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,494 Excuse me. Is your name Big Bang Theory? 59 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,518 'Cause if it's not, you're losing to this. 60 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:35,954 Okay, on that happy note... Corey! 61 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,101 Oh, awesome. Look over there. You can take a selfie 62 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,809 in a hospital bed to get social media attention. 63 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,464 "Don't really want to get into it, but I'm fine." 64 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,153 Oh, boy. Well, this is the last thing I wanted. 65 00:02:56,726 --> 00:03:00,162 I'm gonna do a Instagram story here where I insult a loner 66 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:02,263 and it becomes a whole thing. 67 00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:06,084 What's up, everybody? I'm here at Streaming-Con 2019. 68 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:09,304 Weird ponytail. 69 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,324 They got a whole booth of cat GIFs here. 70 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:16,211 Jiff? How-how do you say... Uh-oh. 71 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,741 Hey, man, I didn't say anything to that guy. 72 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,882 This is ridiculous. You're hurting my wrist! 73 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,150 So check this out, guys. 74 00:03:22,218 --> 00:03:24,419 I got kicked out of Streaming-Con 2019. 75 00:03:24,488 --> 00:03:26,433 Now, I don't know if anyone watching this is a lawyer, 76 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,457 especially a constitutional lawyer, 77 00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:29,769 but... 78 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,842 Hey. 79 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,478 Hey, guys, so I'm in my own trunk. 80 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,079 Uh, I think I'm gonna get murdered. 81 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,381 Uh, but before I do, 82 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,194 I forgot, I'm supposed to mention Triscuits. 83 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,896 Really, all the Nabisco products, 84 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,019 they're-they're solid. 85 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,532 You know, like, on the back of Triscuits 86 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,401 when they give you the recipes for those snacks? 87 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,557 Like, the-the mini pizzas? 88 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,859 I swear to God, make those little pizzas. 89 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,028 Hashtag it: #PetesTriscuitLifeHacks. 90 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,674 Go ahead and check it out. Recipe in bio. 91 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,578 Whoa! 92 00:03:58,022 --> 00:04:00,004 I got away. 93 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,075 Hey, guys, I'm in an Uber, heading back to Streaming-Con. 94 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,643 Uh, man bun alert. 95 00:04:11,134 --> 00:04:13,902 Now seating for Corey: The Live Experience. 96 00:04:13,971 --> 00:04:15,603 All religions welcome. 97 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,817 That's us! Come on, everyone! 98 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,141 Hey, where's Brian? 99 00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:22,255 Hey, you know how Snapchat puts a fake dog tongue on you? 100 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,279 How'd you like a real one? 101 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,967 That was bad. Eh, times have changed. 102 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,880 Three years ago, I would've been a hero. 103 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,971 Three years ago, they would've been 12. 104 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:36,808 I need a nap. Brian, turn on the heat and NPR. 105 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,611 We now return to NPR's Fresh Air. 106 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,360 My guest today is a white music writer 107 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,317 who has written a book about the history of hip-hop. 108 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,519 Stewie's loss. 109 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,699 I'm sure this'll be an enriching discussion. 110 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:53,358 Hip-hop has its roots in the call-and-response tradition 111 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,794 of the Southern black Baptist church. 112 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,626 Well, a nap was just what the doctor ordered. 113 00:05:11,695 --> 00:05:13,261 I feel like a new... 114 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,840 And, of course, you can't write a history of rap 115 00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:17,065 without mentioning Gil Scott-Heron... 116 00:05:22,773 --> 00:05:23,971 What's going on, guys? 117 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,807 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 118 00:05:25,876 --> 00:05:28,036 And today, I'm gonna show you how anyone can become 119 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:32,531 an Internet celebrity, like me, Corey from Corey's World. 120 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,545 I bet you can't make my daughter Meg an Internet celebrity. 121 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:36,735 Dad, stop. 122 00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:39,387 No, stand up, young lady. 123 00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:42,356 Rectangle body, fridge bod, untapped market. 124 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,624 Go with that. 125 00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:45,760 Everybody, hashtag #FridgeBodMeg. 126 00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:46,995 You're welcome. 127 00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:49,197 Oh, my God, Dad! 128 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,932 I'm trending on Twitter. 129 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:52,211 That's awesome, Meg. 130 00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:55,604 I say we celebrate by eating Triscuit pizzas. 131 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,973 Is it good? The recipe's right on the box. 132 00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,786 Yeah, but is it good? You can make them 133 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:02,055 with ingredients you probably already have in the house. 134 00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:05,647 Dad, what does it taste like? That's right. 135 00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:08,750 Ugh! It's like I dropped a tomato in some hay. 136 00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:11,430 Yeah, it's like if a horse made a pizza. 137 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,372 Triscuits: make sure you have a drink nearby. 138 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,164 All right, Meg, now that you're an Internet personality, 139 00:06:22,232 --> 00:06:23,531 we got to build your brand. 140 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,710 Is there anything you can do? 141 00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,367 Uh, yeah, actually, I can... 142 00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,324 I-Is... 143 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,514 Is there anything you can do in front of your dad? 144 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,882 I can shuffle a deck of cards. Oh, good. 145 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:42,016 With my... 146 00:06:42,085 --> 00:06:44,569 All right, we're taking your bedroom door off the hinges. 147 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,490 Is the lady who owns the Prius here? 148 00:06:49,559 --> 00:06:50,853 Uh, actually, that's me. 149 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,944 Oh, well, your wife's car is totaled. 150 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,691 It's my car. Sorry. 151 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,115 We were, however, able to save your purse. 152 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,150 It's a gender-fluid Euro carrier. 153 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,820 Either way, we'll have it towed back to San Francisco. 154 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,634 Hey, there are plenty of closer gay cities, you big ape. 155 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,202 How did this turn into my fight? 156 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,626 You're gonna need a loaner. 157 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,228 We have a pink Volkswagen Beetle you might feel comfortable in. 158 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,642 Ooh, Brian, we could be two in the pink! 159 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,977 Take that one! Take that one! 160 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,578 Yeah, I'm thinking of something sportier. 161 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,581 The red Miata it is. Give me your manliest car! 162 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,971 Bill, I need a Hummer. 163 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,440 Again? You're insatiable. 164 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,242 Wise guy. 165 00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:46,765 Wow, that thing's big. 166 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,249 Brian, it's night now. 167 00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:57,525 What's up? This is Refrigerator Meg. 168 00:07:57,593 --> 00:08:00,628 Thought I'd give you a tour of my refrigerator lifestyle. 169 00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:02,308 Let's see what we've got in here. 170 00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:04,565 Ooh, check, check, check it out! 171 00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:06,935 Boom! Mini cream! 172 00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,503 Oh, and what's this? Strawberry yogurt? 173 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,705 Is-is your girl Meg some kind of health nut? 174 00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:15,476 No, turn it around: 35 grams of sugar! 175 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,513 Yeah, through the roof! 176 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,260 Check it, check it, what's this? 177 00:08:21,284 --> 00:08:23,418 A bacon drawer? Stacked. 178 00:08:23,486 --> 00:08:26,565 Rashers on rashers. Best part about these bad boys? 179 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,289 Don't even have to cook them. 180 00:08:28,358 --> 00:08:30,718 Cook them right in your stomach! 181 00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:34,562 Wash it down with a little cream! 182 00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:44,738 Oh, boy, that's-that's going right through me. 183 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:52,564 Sponsored by Oscar Mayer and Land O'Lakes. 184 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:55,333 If it's not Land O'Lakes, it's not cream! 185 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,870 Hey, Meg? You can't use the Charmin. 186 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,740 You're now sponsored by Safeway Rough 'n' Thin. 187 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,586 Don't forget to wash the tip of your middle finger 188 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,530 when you're done. 189 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,054 Mom, we've got a problem. 190 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,856 See, I-I promoted Magic Shell ice cream topping on my channel, 191 00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,104 so-so they sent me a ton of it. Yeah, so? 192 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,060 Dad Han Solo'd himself. 193 00:09:24,347 --> 00:09:27,027 Oh, my God, he's gonna suffocate. 194 00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:35,857 I created a vanilla ice cream Peter covered in Magic Shell. 195 00:09:35,925 --> 00:09:38,926 Why? Because I must. 196 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,695 Don't listen to him. He's an imposter. 197 00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:42,241 I'm the real Peter. No, you're not. 198 00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:44,243 I made you. I'm the real Peter. 199 00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:46,645 Oh-oh, my God, I-I don't know which one to believe. 200 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,814 What do you mean? I'm a guy, and he's ice cream. 201 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,376 Thank God, Lois. 202 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,056 Does anyone mind if I turn the thermostat down 203 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,978 to 32 degrees? 204 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:08,573 ♪ There ain't a reason on Earth to waste it 205 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:12,126 ♪ It ain't a crime to be good to yourself 206 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,906 ♪ Lick it up 207 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,463 ♪ Lick it up... 208 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:16,709 - Yeah? - It's me. 209 00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:18,533 Can you change the station? 210 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,552 ♪ Whoa, lick it up... 211 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,522 ♪ Don't need to wait... 212 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,725 ♪ Oh, oh... 213 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,177 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 214 00:10:29,246 --> 00:10:32,963 Five different stations, all playing "Lick It Up" by Kiss. 215 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,465 Hummer. 216 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,046 Well, it's nice of you to once again drive me to day care, Brian. 217 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,781 Sure. It's only three klicks away. 218 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,950 I just hope I don't get branded a "Hummer guy." 219 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,987 I can feel the Earth warming. No one needs a car this big. 220 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,244 Yes, but I like how when you cut to an outside shot, 221 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,647 Sam Elliott is narrating your drive. 222 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:51,628 When you need to take a talking baby to day care, 223 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,367 you'll move mountains. 224 00:10:53,436 --> 00:10:55,636 And if the mountains won't move, 225 00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:57,405 drive right over 'em. 226 00:10:58,341 --> 00:11:00,508 Hummer. 227 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,545 And, yes, Big Lebowski fans, I've seen the movie. 228 00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:06,814 I don't need to hear the lines. 229 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:15,239 This place is paying Meg? Uh, to do what? 230 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,208 Nothing. When you have a million followers, 231 00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,877 people just pay you to hang out. 232 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:22,029 Yo, yo, yo! Everything here is made with corn syrup! 233 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,482 Just drink the corn syrup! 234 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:37,312 Oh, my God, she collapsed! We got to get her to the hospital. 235 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,781 ♪ Don't want to wait till you know me better... ♪ 236 00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:42,728 Anybody need a ride to the hospital? 237 00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:43,885 What? 238 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:47,005 Does anybody need a ride to the hospital? 239 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,217 How is she? 240 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,474 What? How is Meg? 241 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:54,679 I'm worried! Her pulse is very weak! 242 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,648 Her middle finger smells weird. 243 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,248 Meg has Type 2 diabetes. 244 00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:03,749 The one where you're supposed to shame her, 245 00:12:03,773 --> 00:12:05,173 not feel sorry for her. 246 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:08,761 But I need to draw a little more blood for the lab. 247 00:12:11,381 --> 00:12:13,181 As I suspected. Sap. 248 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,967 Vermont gold. I love sugaring season. 249 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,218 Me too. 250 00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:20,788 "The moon, though slight, was moon enough to show 251 00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:23,358 "On every tree a bucket with a lid, 252 00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:26,927 And on black ground, a bearskin rug of snow." 253 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,031 Robert Frost, "Evening In A Sugar Orchard." 254 00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,366 Robert Frost! 255 00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:34,118 What? Dad? 256 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,733 It's okay, Meg. You had a diabetic coma dream. 257 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,958 Dad's still an idiot. I'm still an idiot. 258 00:12:46,716 --> 00:12:50,318 Coming up, local anchor brings a concealed weapon to work, 259 00:12:50,386 --> 00:12:52,019 as is his right. 260 00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:54,822 But first, popular Internet star Meg Griffin 261 00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,657 has Type 2 diabetes, 262 00:12:56,726 --> 00:13:00,711 and is also the new face of diabetes drug Pancresta. 263 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,479 Refrigerator Meg here. 264 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:06,017 If diabetes has you down, get your insulin levels up 265 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,069 with Pancresta. 266 00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:10,449 Pancresta may cause heart disease, swelling, allergic reactions. 267 00:13:10,473 --> 00:13:13,507 Do not take Pancresta if you are pregnant or plan on becoming pregnant. 268 00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:14,954 If you have a problem with addiction, 269 00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:17,227 do not take Pancresta, as smoking Pancresta may mimic 270 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,996 the otherworldly high of heroin. 271 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,776 Chopping up and snorting Pancresta may amplify 272 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,934 and-or enhance sexual experience. 273 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:26,020 Rock concerts on Pancresta may be excessively transformative. 274 00:13:26,088 --> 00:13:27,388 Pancresta may cause intense 275 00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:29,356 philosophical and scientific breakthroughs. 276 00:13:29,426 --> 00:13:31,487 Pancresta can be delivered directly to your home, 277 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,739 and since we're here, why not, we'll do a bump. 278 00:13:33,763 --> 00:13:35,841 Pancresta is not for everyone, just the sexy people. 279 00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:38,232 Lame losers should not take Pancresta. 280 00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:39,367 Pancresta. 281 00:13:39,436 --> 00:13:42,303 Makes opiates look like fucking baby aspirin. 282 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,636 Meg, like everyone who doesn't have diabetes, 283 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,261 I'm not sure how it works, but I do know you could go blind, 284 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,009 you could have organ failure, you could lose your feet. 285 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,395 No amount of fame is worth this. 286 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,564 James Woods High School will also be saluting 287 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,621 their own diabetic Internet celebrity 288 00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:02,924 with a pep rally in her honor this Thursday. 289 00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:06,093 Sponsored by Pancresta, which feels like being inside 290 00:14:06,162 --> 00:14:08,696 the warm, wet mouth of the Lord. 291 00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,741 You know, I think you like driving this Hummer. 292 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,176 You're a Hummer guy. 293 00:14:22,244 --> 00:14:24,757 I'm not a Hummer guy, Stewie. I'm a responsible Prius driver 294 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,659 who's making the best of a bad situation. 295 00:14:26,683 --> 00:14:28,427 I didn't ask for this car. 296 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,696 I also didn't ask for these slowpokes in front of me. 297 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,721 Out of the way, you old bag! Brian, that's Paul McCartney 298 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,574 doing "Carpool Karaoke" songs we can afford. 299 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:40,761 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes 300 00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:42,530 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 301 00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:46,751 How should we end the scene, Brian? 302 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,653 Sam Elliott or Kiss "Lick it Up"? 303 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,187 Why not both? 304 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,673 "Lick it up. Lick it up. 305 00:14:52,742 --> 00:14:55,175 Oh, yeah." 306 00:14:55,244 --> 00:14:57,445 That's about all I care to read of that. 307 00:15:02,719 --> 00:15:06,186 Refrigerator Meg here having one of my favorite snacks: 308 00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:08,300 french fry sandwiches on white bread. 309 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,926 Bad sugars and starches are the bomb! 310 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,018 Meg's feet are gone. Rotted. 311 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,621 I have a gift for knowing when something bad happens 312 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:27,558 to someone's legs, kind of like a shining. 313 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,334 How you doing, doc? 314 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,865 Oh, you were thirsty, weren't you? 315 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,466 Good girl. No! 316 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,619 Good boy. You're a boy car. 317 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,065 Yeah, that's weird. Stop that. 318 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,067 Stop what? The way you're touching, feeding, 319 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,367 and talking to your car. 320 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,325 His name is Mark McGrath. 321 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:02,860 What's happened to you? 322 00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,030 I-I don't know. All I know is I love this Hummer. 323 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,564 God, the power. 324 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,767 I deserved a sweet ride for a little while. 325 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,035 It felt so good. 326 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,303 People turned their heads when I pulled into Hooters, 327 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,405 Lids, GNC. It's not fair! 328 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:17,953 How much creatine... 329 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,054 I've been doing a lot of creatine! 330 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,995 All set. 331 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:24,498 You can probably get another 130,000 miles out of this thing. 332 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,834 Well, let's see... I drive about 4,000 a year, 333 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,702 so when this car goes, I'll be... 334 00:16:28,772 --> 00:16:30,171 Dead for 18 years. 335 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:33,474 Let me just say goodbye to the Hummer. 336 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,862 I'll miss you, Mark McGrath. 337 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,809 I'll miss scaring the hell out of homeless people 338 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,567 with your cruise-ship-grade air horn. 339 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:46,704 I'll miss catching the eye of women smoking outside of government buildings. 340 00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:57,409 But mostly, I'll miss driving a military vehicle 341 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,633 45 miles an hour through a school zone 342 00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:02,886 to get Crest Whitestrips. 343 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,222 The back side of this car is all wrecked. 344 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,801 Who fixed this thing, your wife? 345 00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:09,493 No, she can't fix a car. That's my point. 346 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,896 She passed away last month. She was addicted to Pancresta, 347 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,433 so she didn't so much pass away as elevate 348 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,634 to a higher level of consciousness. 349 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,405 Just turned into a smiling beam of light right before my eyes. 350 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,075 She told me to be at peace, and I was. 351 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,621 I'm hearing a lot of good stuff about this Pancresta. 352 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,657 Sorry, Mr. Griffin. I don't know what happened. 353 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:32,015 Looks like you got the Hummer for another couple of days at least. 354 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,531 Stewie, why did you do it? 355 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,555 Oh, you were having so much fun, Bri. 356 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:41,959 Besides, the Earth is on fire. One dog driving a Prius won't fix that. 357 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,463 Where to? Let's do donuts on Mark Ruffalo's lawn. 358 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,315 Yeah! 359 00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:52,079 Hey, come on, you guys. Knock it off. 360 00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,606 Hey, why don't you turn into the Hulk? 361 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,424 Oh, right. You're just a Hollywood sissy. 362 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:58,759 I'm calling the cops! 363 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,228 Oh, you hear that, Brian? Hulk's calling the cops. 364 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,165 Turns out old Mark really was the Hulk. 365 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:15,292 And Brian and Stewie got tossed clear up to New Hampshire. 366 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,727 I'm Sam Elliott. 367 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,396 This concludes your B story. 368 00:18:25,487 --> 00:18:27,132 Look at 'em all out there, Meg. 369 00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:29,596 They're all here because of you. 370 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:30,859 Hi, Meg. 371 00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,838 It's your friends, Patty, Ruth and Esther. 372 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,895 If anyone remembered what we look like, 373 00:18:34,964 --> 00:18:36,964 it would be shocking how fat we are. 374 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,232 You've inspired us to gain all this weight, 375 00:18:39,301 --> 00:18:41,134 and we just wanted to say thanks. 376 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:51,278 ♪ ♪ 377 00:18:53,148 --> 00:18:54,428 Dad, I can't do this. 378 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,800 All my friends are fat because of me. 379 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,680 I don't want them to lose their feet, too. 380 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,682 Everybody needs their feet. 381 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:04,208 Feet. Those little weirdos on the end of your legs. 382 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:09,413 I used mine to mosey on over to the A story. 383 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,083 I'm going out there to warn everybody about the dangers of unhealthy eating. 384 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,352 Meg, I am so high on Pancresta right now, 385 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,953 I don't care what you say. 386 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,322 Three dimensions? 387 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,025 No, six dimensions. 388 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,696 Be at peace, Meg. 389 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,731 Be at peace. 390 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,501 Phone. Forgot my phone. 391 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,509 - We love you, Meg! - Eat something gross! 392 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:40,923 I was gonna take you to prom 393 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,064 as part of a cruel bet, but I'm fat now, too! 394 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:46,817 Hey, everybody. 395 00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:49,570 I want to talk to you guys about something important. 396 00:19:49,638 --> 00:19:51,105 Being healthy. 397 00:19:51,174 --> 00:19:53,374 I'm still Refrigerator Meg! 398 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:57,044 But from here on, my fridge will be full of fruits, 399 00:19:57,113 --> 00:20:00,697 vegetables and lean meats! Yo, yo, yo! 400 00:20:03,987 --> 00:20:05,486 Bring back the fridge! 401 00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,365 Bring back the fridge! 402 00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:10,491 Bring back the fridge! Bring back the fridge! 403 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,725 Aah! 404 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,441 What's going on, guys? 405 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,242 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 406 00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:20,817 Did you hear that all the Jewish kids stayed home from school that day? 407 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,591 Is everyone okay, Principal Shepherd? 408 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,871 Mostly. We only had one fatality. 409 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,361 An old janitor was crushed under the bleachers. 410 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,031 Huh. Has anyone claimed his feet? 411 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:37,660 Yeah, and has anyone claimed his mop? 412 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,524 Good news! The feet transplant was a success. 413 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,694 So... 414 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,930 Good news all around. 415 00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:55,335 Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal. 416 00:20:55,404 --> 00:20:56,548 No, it isn't! 417 00:20:56,572 --> 00:20:58,305 Meg got the dead janitor's feet, 418 00:20:58,374 --> 00:21:01,141 Brian and Stewie got thrown into New Hampshire by the Hulk, 419 00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:02,676 and you're a beam of light. 420 00:21:02,745 --> 00:21:04,678 I have the shining now. 421 00:21:04,747 --> 00:21:06,547 And Chris has the shining now. 422 00:21:06,616 --> 00:21:08,415 Lois, just do a line of Panc. 423 00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:11,552 Ah! Road House! 424 00:21:11,621 --> 00:21:12,764 Road House. 425 00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:14,588 Road House... 426 00:21:14,624 --> 00:21:16,289 Is a movie I was in. 33190

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