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♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,173
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:11,743
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,746
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,603
♪ Lucky there's a man whopositively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,232
♪ All the thingsthat make us ♪
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00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,890
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:30,128
♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,870
Hey, Meg.
Where you going?
11
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:40,839
Are you kidding?
The Olympic qualifiers
are today.
12
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,640
I'm competing.
In what?
13
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,786
I'm a bi...
Knew it.
14
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,121
Athlete.
Didn't know it.
15
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,546
If I win today,
I'm going to
the Olympics.
16
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,826
Why is this the first
we're hearing about this?
17
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,051
It's not. God,
how could you guys
not know about this?
18
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,937
I've been training for years.
19
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:57,884
Peter. Peter,
I need you to hold
my ears. Aah!
20
00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:01,844
Oh. Oh.
21
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:09,050
Who wants chowder?
22
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:11,964
Okay,
I'm off to go train
for the Olympics.
23
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,488
Ew!
24
00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:16,725
Mom? Mommy? Mommy?
25
00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,593
Mommy? Mama?
26
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,829
Hey, Ma, I'm gonna
go train for the Olympics.
27
00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:23,849
Mama? Mama? Ma?
28
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:27,335
My goal becomes clear:
the broccoli must die.
29
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:32,802
All right,
I'm off to train
for the Olympics.
30
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,927
See? I've been training
since I was Lacey Chabert.
31
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,707
So, are you guys
gonna come?
I don't know.
32
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,265
The Yule Log Channel
just put on another log,
33
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,512
and I really like it when
the wood goes "crack, crack,
34
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,776
pop, crack, pop."
35
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,138
We all like that.
Sorry, Meg.
36
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,206
That's okay.
37
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,774
I guess I'll just
drive there by myself...
38
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,543
in my Jeep!
39
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,156
Wait a minute.
You have a Jeep?
40
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,057
Well, why didn't you say so?
41
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,181
Come on, family!
42
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,082
Let's go do TV commercial
driving meant
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00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,069
for a professional driver
on a closed course.
44
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:04,139
ANNOUNCER: Jeep:The toughest four-letterword on wheels.
45
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,686
For the driverwho doesn't liketo stop going
46
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,543
just because
they've run out of road.
47
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:09,822
Ow, my balls!
Why'd you do that?
48
00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:11,324
Head out where
the real fun begins.
49
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,392
There was plenty of road left!
50
00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:13,526
Where the paved roads leave off.
51
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,950
Aah! My balls!
It's too bumpy.
52
00:02:15,019 --> 00:02:16,529
Potholes and bumps and ruts
can come as they will.
53
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,797
Ah, they're getting
rattled and smushed.
54
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:19,799
Jeep's welded, rugged
and riveted frame...
55
00:02:19,823 --> 00:02:21,334
Please go back on the road!
takes punishmentin large doses...
56
00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:22,635
My balls!
and comes backfor more!
57
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,759
I like safe driving.
My balls!
58
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,128
Thanks again for coming, guys.
59
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,964
It really means a lot to me.
60
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,866
Of course, honey.
We wouldn't miss it.
61
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:38,101
Plus, it's a good excuse
to put on my winter coat
62
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,592
and find items from last year
still in the pocket.
63
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,262
Ooh, sticky pennies,
a rock-hard Starburst,
64
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,565
an appointment card
for my next dental appointment
65
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,166
that's already come and gone,
66
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,814
a ticket stub
for a matinee
of Interstellar,
67
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,771
an unwrapped piece of Dentyne,
68
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,173
a yarmulke from when
that Jewish guy died,
69
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:58,376
a breath mint from
the now-defunct
Clorets corporation,
70
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,413
printed-out Mapquest
directions to Dave & Buster's,
71
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,015
Iron Man Band-Aid,
72
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,763
Flintstone vitamin
I didn't take
'cause it was Barney,
73
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,986
refrigerator magnet
from local electrician
74
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,320
who is now arrested,
75
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,757
and balled-up tissues
with last year's flu on it.
76
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,792
You done with
your pocket bits?
It's freezing!
77
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,494
So the biathlon combines
cross-country skiing
78
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,241
and rifle shooting?
Yeah.
79
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,176
Well, that doesn't
sound so hard.
Can I try?
80
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,744
I don't know if
that's a good idea.
81
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,134
My event starts soon.
82
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,570
Meg, it is my duty
as a bad father to prove
83
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,572
that I can do anything
my kids can do.
84
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,107
Okay, fine.
85
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,712
Here we go.
86
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,816
All right, I think
I'm getting the hang of it.
87
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,455
I have to say,
I'm very proud of Meg.
88
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,390
Who knew she was
good at something?
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00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,737
Yeah, does anybody else
in the family have any
secret talents
90
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:48,838
we don't know about?
91
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,102
I'm the Quahog edging champion.
92
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,997
That's great, Chris.
Now what's that?
93
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,568
It's the practice
of erotic sexual denial.
94
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,069
Go wait in the car.
95
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,657
And no edging!
96
00:04:01,725 --> 00:04:03,436
But he did continue edging,
97
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:06,194
bringing himself to the verge
of sexual pleasure,
98
00:04:06,263 --> 00:04:08,163
only to stop at the last moment.
99
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:10,265
I'm Ron Howard,
and I do voice-overs
100
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,566
for this show now, too.
101
00:04:11,635 --> 00:04:13,312
But that was the only voice-over
102
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,914
Ron Howard did for the show.
103
00:04:14,938 --> 00:04:16,672
He asked for too much money.
104
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:20,341
I'm Kristen Bell,and I do reasonably-pricedvoice-overs.
105
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:21,810
But her voice-overs
106
00:04:21,879 --> 00:04:24,946
were not reasonably priced,
so they turned to me,
107
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,382
a guy who sounds
like Morgan Freeman,
108
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,751
but is not, in fact,
Morgan Freeman.
109
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,820
My name is Josh Robert Thompson,
110
00:04:31,889 --> 00:04:33,989
and I perform for scale.
111
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,445
Everyone, please rise
112
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,146
for our national anthem
113
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,299
performed by
Rhode Island's own...
114
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,535
The Very Nervous Trumpeter.
115
00:04:54,078 --> 00:04:56,461
All right,
well, that was stupid.
116
00:05:05,789 --> 00:05:07,806
♪ ♪
117
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,093
♪ ♪
118
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:34,282
You're going down, Meg.
119
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,250
Lacey Chabert?!
That's right.
120
00:05:36,319 --> 00:05:37,897
This should be my Olympics.
121
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,187
Shut up, Meg.
No, you shut up, Meg.
122
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,989
No, you shut up, Meg.
123
00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,536
Shut up, Megs!
124
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,560
♪ ♪
125
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,051
Yay, Meg!
126
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,086
Wow. Meg is going
to the Olympics!
127
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,899
Let's celebrate
by burning our lips
128
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,323
on vending machine
hot chocolate.
129
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,136
Ow!
Ugh!
130
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,295
Mine has whipped cream,
so I didn't get it
on the first sip.
131
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,364
Ow!
132
00:06:10,821 --> 00:06:12,353
Thank you.
133
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:15,090
Um, I-I'm not really good
at public speaking,
134
00:06:15,158 --> 00:06:19,393
so I'll just say...
farble shlup muckle blop.
135
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,240
All right, Meg,
I'll take it
from here.
136
00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:24,198
Hi. I'm Lois Griffin,
Meg's mother.
137
00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:27,313
You may also know me
as the lady who threw
a plate of cheese
138
00:06:27,337 --> 00:06:29,015
during that
city council
meeting.
139
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:32,619
But we got the
streets plowed,
though, right?
140
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:35,309
The cheese worked, yeah.
141
00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:38,891
I just wanted to say
how proud we are of
Meg's accomplishment.
142
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,649
So it looks like
the Griffins are going
143
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:42,684
to the Winter Olympics in Korea!
144
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,607
Do you think there'll be
a gag about the Jamaican
bobsled team?
145
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,187
No, probably not.
Oh.
146
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,979
'Cause I was working on
my exaggerated shiver.
147
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,248
Burr. Burr. Oh.
148
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,449
Yeah, man, it be cold.
149
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:00,496
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, maybe.
150
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,960
There might be.
Don't-don't go far.
Don't go far.
151
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:08,209
♪ ♪
152
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,618
My race isn't for a few days,
153
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,720
so we should have
plenty of time to
hang out.
154
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:26,339
Anyone want to grab some food?
155
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,729
Sorry, Meg, I can't.
156
00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:29,464
I'm trying to land you
some endorsements,
157
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,934
and I have a lead
with a very popular
IBS medication.
158
00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:34,202
Quick, say,
159
00:07:34,271 --> 00:07:37,305
"I never let
traveler's diarrhea
keep me grounded."
160
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,740
No!
161
00:07:38,808 --> 00:07:41,168
Well, then you're just
handing this thing right
to John Kruk!
162
00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:52,747
Oh, my God, Brian, look.
163
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,190
Who is that?
Oh, that's figure skater
164
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,738
turned flamboyant
commentator
Johnny Weir.
165
00:07:58,762 --> 00:08:00,607
I wonder where Tara Lipinski is.
166
00:08:00,631 --> 00:08:01,774
I heard they always have to be
167
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,958
within quipping distance
of each other.
168
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,501
Oh, she's in the hat!
169
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,354
Isn't she amazing?
170
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,033
I feel like she's my soul mate.
171
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,223
How is she your soul mate?
172
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,536
She looks like a baby,
173
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,104
and she's best friends
with a gay guy.
174
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,061
Her life is my life.
I'm not gay.
175
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,563
Well, it's not me!
176
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,192
Come on, let's go meet them.
177
00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:22,817
Hi. I just had to come over
and introduce myself.
178
00:08:22,886 --> 00:08:25,519
My name is Stewie,
and I'm a huge fan
of you guys.
179
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,667
Oh, it's nice to
meet you, Stewie.
180
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:30,024
Yeah, it's always so nice
to meet our fans.
181
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:33,962
And can I just say,
the shape of your head
is stunning.
182
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,608
Really?
I get a lot of
grief for it.
183
00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:37,331
Some people say
it looks like a football.
184
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,702
Okay, I don't know
what that is, but
they're just jealous.
185
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,036
Every one of them.
186
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,839
Remember, nothing
normal looks good.
187
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:46,808
Well, I have to say,
you two are the best thing
188
00:08:46,876 --> 00:08:48,076
to happen to sports
189
00:08:48,144 --> 00:08:50,778
since the New York Knicks
finally changed their name.
190
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,191
Ladies and gentlemen,
191
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:56,618
please welcome your 2018
New York Pieces-Of-Dog-Shit.
192
00:09:05,495 --> 00:09:06,795
Bitty bitty bop.
193
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,115
Funky, funky.
194
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,405
Wow, I can't believe
195
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,008
I'm on a first-name basis
with Tara Lipinski.
196
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,945
Now, refresh my memory:
is Tara the one
who had the DUI?
197
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,524
No, that's Oksana Baiul.
198
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,281
Oh, sounds like
something Gandalf says
199
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:44,627
at the foot of a mountain.
200
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,018
Oksana Baiul!
201
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,828
Okay, we can go in now.
202
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,108
Oh, God, here she comes!
203
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,643
Act like I said something funny.
204
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,899
I don't know, Stewie.
205
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,452
I think the Special Olympics
serve an important purpose.
206
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,921
So do I!
Who thinks
they don't?
207
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:08,534
I don't know.
Ask this guy.
208
00:10:08,558 --> 00:10:10,703
He's a dog.
He's just learning
how to talk.
209
00:10:10,727 --> 00:10:13,472
So, hey, Tara,
are you doing
anything later?
210
00:10:13,496 --> 00:10:15,741
I was thinking maybe
we could grab dinner
or something.
211
00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:18,432
Yeah, sure.
You seem cool.
That could be fun.
212
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:20,012
All right then, it's a date.
213
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,380
Oh, I just need to make a call.
214
00:10:21,404 --> 00:10:23,149
I was supposed
to help the speed
skaters
215
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,333
get their tights
over their thighs.
216
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,571
Stewie, it's not gonna fit!
217
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:29,994
Hey, we can do this.
218
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:33,798
I worked
with Garth Brooks.
Shirt and pants.
219
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:36,601
Little secret...
Garth wears leggings.
220
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,687
The denim pattern
is projected on.
221
00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:41,956
Hello, Kansas City!
222
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,727
Stick to the agreed-upon
choreography, please.
223
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,762
Ask who else has
friends in low places.
224
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:50,632
Hey, who else here
has friends in low places?
225
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,918
All right,
we got 'em back, baby.
226
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:59,807
♪ ♪
227
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,360
Whoa, Ryan Lochte?
228
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,562
Uh, where?
You.
229
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,730
Oh, yeah.
230
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,565
Hey, are you athlete?
231
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:10,335
No, I just
like wearing clothes
that feel like pajamas.
232
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,216
That's most
of what being
athlete is.
233
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,306
Wait, aren't you
a summer sport guy?
234
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:18,442
Oh... it's cold.
235
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,012
Here's a beer.
Follow me.
236
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,725
Peter partied all night
237
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,616
with international bozo
Ryan Lochte.
238
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,952
And this voice-over was
actually covered
239
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,787
by my original payment.
240
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,778
Stewie, I'm very impressed.
241
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,325
I didn't know you skated.
242
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:41,882
Yeah, well, there's a lot
you don't know about me.
243
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,419
Like I'm always
full of surprises.
244
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,039
Did it work?
Yes. Yeah.
245
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:49,607
You were supposed to be quiet!
246
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,276
Would you like to
join me for a dance?
247
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,930
♪ ♪
248
00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:57,365
Wow!
249
00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:59,433
♪ ♪
250
00:12:07,377 --> 00:12:09,555
But that's not
how it really happened.
251
00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:11,996
Would you like to
join me for a dance?
252
00:12:13,183 --> 00:12:15,316
Oh-ho! Wow.
253
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,418
Ow! Ow!
I bit my tongue!
254
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,333
I swallowed the piece!
Oh, my God,
are you okay?
255
00:12:20,357 --> 00:12:22,157
Don't go on the ice.
It's too slippery.
256
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:24,259
I'll crawl back.
Don't watch me.
257
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,154
Hi, hi, hi.
Oh. Hey, Johnny.
258
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,835
I'm just gonna run
to the bathroom
real quick. B-R-B.
259
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,359
Oh, she's a regular
Tinkle Britches.
260
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,406
Get the
hell out of here,
you little maggot.
261
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,264
Wha-Wha...
Johnny?
262
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,866
What happened to your voice?
This is my voice.
263
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,646
You think I actually
talk like that?
264
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,782
That's just something I do
to get the skater chicks.
265
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:53,806
Does Tara know?
266
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,835
Nah. She don't like
guys like me.
267
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,953
She likes guys like me.
268
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,495
Wait, but she
had a great time
with me tonight.
269
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:03,025
Yeah,
that's what she does
with her gay friends.
270
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,949
But you're her gay friend.
271
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,829
What'd you say,
you little fuck?!
272
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:08,647
Is everything okay out here?
273
00:13:08,671 --> 00:13:10,082
Yeah,
I was just looking
at his shirt.
274
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:12,674
I love this Nordstrom Rack.How was the tinkle?
275
00:13:12,742 --> 00:13:14,820
It was good.
I also dumped.
276
00:13:14,844 --> 00:13:16,444
You're so bad.
277
00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:18,680
Anyway, sad emoji face,
Stewie has to leave.
278
00:13:18,748 --> 00:13:20,759
Oh. Okay.
Bye, Stewie.
279
00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:22,863
I had a wonderful time.
280
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:25,069
Me... me, too.
281
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,016
Not as good as I'm gonna have.
282
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,251
And I know what
a fucking football is.
283
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,708
Killed me to say that.
284
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,851
Hey, you flush
underwear
in train toilet?!
285
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,032
Yeah, they, uh,
th-they were done.
286
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,523
This illegal.
I want you off train!
287
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,935
What are you gonna do about it?
288
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,737
You're just a train conductor...
289
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,396
who has a huge kicking foot?
290
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,264
Aah!
291
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,133
Aah! Oh!
292
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,051
Where the hell am I?
293
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,220
Oh, my God,
I'm in the wrong Korea.
294
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:04,759
That's it. Like your missiles,
I'm about to go ballistic.
295
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,093
But that's not
how it really happened.
296
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:15,486
That's it. Like your missiles,
I'm about to go ballistic.
297
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,423
Ow! A northern bird
flew into my nuts!
298
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,258
Go to commercial.
299
00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:31,219
That's weird.
300
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:34,322
It doesn't smell
like open butt in here.
301
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,174
Peter?
302
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:42,463
Huh, he's usually up by now
dry-heaving in the shower.
303
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,701
Hi, I'm pink-eyed Bob Costas,
304
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,869
live from our
Pyeongchang studios,
305
00:14:48,938 --> 00:14:50,449
here to bring you breaking news,
306
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,117
and occasionally blink off-synch
307
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:55,042
in an attempt to satisfy
my searing eye itchiness.
308
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,189
A U.S. tourist,
Peter Griffin,
309
00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:59,158
has been apprehended
by North Korea
310
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:02,082
and is being held prisoner
for what I'm being told
311
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,819
is trespassing and doing
that thing with your eyes
312
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:06,798
that makes you look Chinese.
313
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,658
Damn it.
Why does Peter have to
ruin every family vacation?
314
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:13,444
Just like he ruined
our trip to La La Land.
315
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,496
♪ ♪
316
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,103
Hey, guy who's never
been uncool in a movie,
317
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,883
I requested
"Dominick the Donkey"
318
00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:26,273
like an hour ago.
319
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,788
It's Christmastime,
and I want
greaseball songs.
320
00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:31,679
♪ ♪
321
00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:34,215
♪ Hey, chingedy ching,hee-haw, hee-haw ♪
322
00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:36,228
♪ It's Dominickthe donkey ♪
323
00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:38,130
♪ Chingedy ching,hee-haw, hee-haw ♪
324
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,498
♪ The ItalianChristmas donkey ♪
325
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:40,666
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
326
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,022
Ooh, like the movie!
327
00:15:42,091 --> 00:15:44,203
♪ La-la, la,la, la, la, la ♪
328
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:48,396
♪ La, la, la, la,la, la-lee,oh, dah! ♪
329
00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:50,231
Again.
330
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,122
Hey, sorry about
last night, bro.
331
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,557
No hard feelings?
Yes, hard feelings.
332
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,071
I told you, I really liked her.
333
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,528
Yo, relax.
We only had
awesome sex.
334
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,664
Geez. All right,
see you later.
335
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,900
I got to go wash
Tara's lipstick
off my ass.
336
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,015
Well, at least I have a side,
337
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,206
you neutral Swiss cowards!
338
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,975
Oh, hey, Stewie, how's it going?
339
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,311
Terrible. Johnny Weir's
making my life a nightmare.
340
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,891
I really thought
I had a shot
with Tara Lipinski,
341
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,093
and he ruined it.
342
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,516
I'm sorry to hear that.
343
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,484
You want me to
take him out for you?
344
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,932
Really? You'd do
that for me?
345
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:32,523
Of course.
I owe you for
getting me that job
346
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,225
with Gloria Allred.
347
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:40,497
They sayif you get a jobdoing what you love,
348
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,800
you never work
a day in your life.
349
00:16:48,157 --> 00:16:50,524
Now it's clothes,
now it's clothes,
350
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,792
now it's clothes.
351
00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:55,796
This is for my brother,
you Tom Hiddleston lookalike!
352
00:16:55,865 --> 00:16:57,876
You serious, bro?
Oh, no.
353
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,101
Now you're
gonna beat me up
like a Batman fight,
354
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:02,420
only with gay words.
355
00:17:02,472 --> 00:17:04,772
♪ ♪
356
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,800
Kids, Brian,
I've got
some bad news.
357
00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:23,402
Your father
has been kidnapped
by North Korea.
358
00:17:23,426 --> 00:17:24,709
We've got to save him.
359
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,276
But my race is this afternoon.
360
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:28,595
I know, but your
father needs us.
361
00:17:28,665 --> 00:17:31,298
I don't care.
Where was he when
I needed help?
362
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,067
Where were any of you guys?
363
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:34,902
This was supposed to be my week.
364
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,556
Down here, it's my time.
It's my time down here!
365
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,758
Is that from Goonies?
I think so, yeah.
366
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,120
So you guys can all go.
367
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,955
But I'm staying here,
and I'm competing.
368
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,057
And I'm gonna go inside,
outside, inside, outside.
369
00:17:46,081 --> 00:17:47,559
And I'm gonna get 'em
on the run, boys.
370
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:50,101
And once I get 'em on the run,
I'm gonna keep 'em on the run.
371
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,570
Wow, she knows a lot
of Sean Astin speeches.
372
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,572
Go. You don't care.
373
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,608
The only thing you
care about is nugs,
chilling and grindage.
374
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,778
Encino Man.
Sean Astin, deep cut.
375
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,038
Me? Oh...
376
00:18:11,107 --> 00:18:13,107
Racers, take your mark.
377
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:15,963
Go, everyone but her.
378
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,014
♪ ♪
379
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,664
Wait, before you kill me,
380
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,166
can you at least
give me an
extra bullet
381
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,474
so I can pretend
to catch one
in my teeth?
382
00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:36,147
Lacey Chabert!
383
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,464
Meg!
384
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:16,136
Meg, that was amazing!
385
00:19:16,205 --> 00:19:17,482
But how we gonna
get out of here?
386
00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:19,707
We're surrounded.
There's only one way.
387
00:19:19,775 --> 00:19:22,087
An impossible video game escape.
388
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,044
Ooh, can it be GoldenEye?
389
00:19:24,113 --> 00:19:26,013
Sure.
Yes!
390
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,082
♪ ♪
391
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,805
Bond. James Bond.
392
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:40,789
Don't worry, Meg,it's less sad'cause they don't bleed.
393
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,893
Oh, don't shoot this guy.
He was nice to me.
394
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,197
Aw, never mind.
395
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,153
These guys are terrible shots.
396
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:54,792
I love this almost
James Bond music.
397
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,429
Meg, this is what
1997 looked like.
398
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:02,065
It's my turn next try.
I want to go next.
399
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:05,774
You think one guyhad to shovel thiswhole walkway?
400
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,926
Ugh, great, more stairs.
401
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:14,144
This is how you know we're done.
402
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:23,137
Peter, you're safe!
403
00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:25,405
Yep, and it's all thanks to Meg.
404
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,407
But, Meg, what about your race?
405
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,221
Well, I realized
that it wasn't
worth doing
406
00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:30,944
if you guys weren't
there with me.
407
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,146
Oh, Meg, we are so sorry
408
00:20:33,215 --> 00:20:35,026
for how we treated
you this week.
409
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,295
You may not have won
a gold medal in the games,
410
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,887
but you won one in our hearts.
411
00:20:39,956 --> 00:20:41,956
♪ ♪
412
00:20:46,128 --> 00:20:48,261
What do you say, guys,
should we go home?
413
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,708
I don't know,
I'm thinking
maybe we can
414
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,009
hang out a little bit longer,
415
00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:53,111
see what else Korea
has to offer... Uh-oh.
416
00:20:53,135 --> 00:20:55,347
No! You leave
Korea now!
417
00:20:55,371 --> 00:20:58,606
Meet me wherever I land...!
418
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,360
Peter
landed somewhere in the DMZ,
419
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,696
and was recaptured
by North Korea.
420
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:09,600
Fortunately, tensions caused
by this international incident
421
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,535
were resolved by the steady hand
422
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,036
of Dennis Rodman,
423
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,038
who let Kim Jong-un win
424
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,586
in a one-on-onebasketball gameagainst him,
425
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,111
continuously saying,
"Oop, you got me,"
426
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:22,413
in a way that was just
convincing enough
427
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,897
for Kim to believe.
32035
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