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Ah, the greatest of
sporting spectacles.
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The most sacred of all pastimes.
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Watching the big game.
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Hey! Down in front.
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On these glorious occasions,
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there is no greater love
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than that between the average man
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- and his television.
9
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Modern sports fans, however,
can fully immerse themselves
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in game day with a new
home theater system.
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The advanced technology
practically puts the viewer
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on the field.
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Gawrsh.
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Ow!
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A convenient trip
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to the neighborhood
electronics boutique
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will fulfill all the
average consumer's needs.
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Here lies a high-tech wonderland,
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where audio-video dreams come true.
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The heavenly journey begins
with a few key components.
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The DVD, the CD, the LD
the DVR, the VCR,
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audio receiver, AV cables, TV tables,
satellite dish with satellite,
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the Blu-ray, the Green-ray,
the Hoo-ray, the hi-fi I-Y,
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HDMI, the heebie-jeebies and
E equals M-C squared.
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Oh! And don't forget the batteries.
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Hm?
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They're not included.
28
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Selecting the proper television
is of utmost importance,
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and there are many models
from which to choose.
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A conservatively-sized unit
31
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is the most prudent selection.
32
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I love you.
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Let's move on,
shall we, to delivery day!
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The wait is over!
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Kickoff in high-definition
is just a few connections away.
36
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And any moment now, the sights
and sounds of the big game
37
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will fill the home.
38
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The delivery truck will arrive promptly,
39
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between the hours of
8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.
40
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Any moment now,
the roar of the stadium crowd
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will reverberate 'round the room.
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Any moment now,
the viewer will be hopelessly lost
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in pure televised wonderment!
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Any moment now.
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Ah, right on time.
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As the friendly drivers delicately
deliver the electronics
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with their usual professional precision,
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one should take great care
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in unpacking the fragile components.
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Items can shift slightly during shipping.
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The enclosed instruction manuals
are of great assistance
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to the average man.
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Be sure to read
all the provided literature.
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After removing the audio/video cables
from their consumer-friendly,
55
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hassle-free packaging...
56
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...connect them to the
appropriate cable jacks,
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which are conveniently
located in the back.
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Yeah.
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Doi-de-dee-dee-da-
dum-bum-bum-bum.
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00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:10,460
The modern sound system
includes a multitude of speakers
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to provide the perfectly
balanced soundscape.
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The center channel...
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...left and right front speakers,
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a-bit-more-to-the-left
and a-bit-more-to-the-right speakers,
65
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surround speakers,
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surrounding-surround speakers,
67
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and various-overkill-to-ensure-
eventual-deafness speakers!
68
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And the all-important subwoofer.
69
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One should carefully
mount each speaker
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in its proper yet discreet location.
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Perfect!
72
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And now, the marvel
of the most modern home...
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Oh! For Pete's sake, look at the time!
74
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Huh?
75
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- The big game's starting!
76
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Quick, quick! The remote control!
77
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No!
78
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Wait!
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You did purchase a universal remote.
80
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Uh-huh.
81
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Yeah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!
82
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At last! Installation is complete!
83
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It is?
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Gaze upon that pristine picture.
85
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Savor the surround sound.
86
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It's almost like being there!
6734
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