Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:00,203 --> 00:00:03,171
The most important thing for you
kids to know is that this
2
00:00:03,197 --> 00:00:05,174
divorce is not your fault.
3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,175
Agreed. It's definitely not your fault.
4
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,595
Whose fault is it then?
5
00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:10,613
Doesn't have to be
anyone's fault, you know?
6
00:00:10,639 --> 00:00:14,015
I just want to know who to
blame for ruining my life.
7
00:00:14,327 --> 00:00:18,454
I mean what if a mum, or let's
say a dad, had an affair...
8
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:19,874
would the divorce be all their fault?
9
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,513
- No.
- Yes! It bloody well would!
10
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:26,747
- Do not be bitter in front of the
children, remember? - Sorry.
11
00:00:26,872 --> 00:00:30,595
Look, sweetheart, there are loads
of reasons why couples break up.
12
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:31,875
Yeah, just not in this case.
13
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,456
I'm not a mug, Dad. I've
had enough of your crap.
14
00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:37,976
Robbie. You all right, mate?
15
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:44,275
Rob, it's really important, babe,
that you share all of your feelings
16
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,475
in regards to the
break-up of your family.
17
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:47,515
Tell him, Vincent.
18
00:00:48,372 --> 00:00:50,413
Do you know what I think
would make you feel a lot better
19
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:54,235
about this divorce?
How about an Atari games console?
20
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,950
Oh, yes, please! Skills!
21
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,235
The book says not to bribe.
22
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,500
Books are overrated.
23
00:01:01,486 --> 00:01:03,621
I feel better now. Thanks, Dad.
24
00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:05,474
Right, well, I shall be on my way.
25
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,875
Why do you always have to be
such an arsehole?
26
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,925
Because without arseholes, Samantha,
shit would never get done.
27
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:16,974
_
28
00:01:19,302 --> 00:01:21,399
Sometimes when a Mum and a Dad
fall out of love,
29
00:01:21,425 --> 00:01:23,358
it's better for everyone if they
stop being husband and wife
30
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:24,795
and start living in different houses.
31
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:27,461
Which is why I now live in a flat
Ronnie Farrell used to rent out
32
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:28,765
to a dominatrix.
33
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,410
Hello.
34
00:01:38,436 --> 00:01:39,849
Is Mistress Trixie available?
35
00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,772
Mistress Trixie doesn't live here
any more, all right.
36
00:01:41,798 --> 00:01:43,908
Oh, OK. Who does then?
37
00:01:44,211 --> 00:01:46,115
Look, mate, I'm really not
in the mood for this.
38
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,705
- Why not?
- Why not?!
39
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,132
Because I'm getting divorced.
40
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:52,795
Because I owe the taxman
50 fucking grand.
41
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,355
Because I've gone from being
salesman of the century
42
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,843
to a schlub who can't sell shit.
43
00:01:56,869 --> 00:02:00,035
But mainly because I spend my entire
fucking life on this phone
44
00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,342
talking to perverts like you.
45
00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:03,734
I'm sorry, sounds like you've got
a lot on your plate.
46
00:02:04,585 --> 00:02:07,395
You don't fancy 20 quid and let me
fuck you hard up the arse, do ya?
47
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,875
Come on, mate, have some
fucking decency, yes?
48
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,756
- Tenner for a blowjob?
- I'm hanging up.
49
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:16,755
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.MY-SUBS.com
50
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:25,166
You have two new messages.
51
00:02:25,471 --> 00:02:28,520
Oh, hello, Mr Swan.
My name's Emma Lyndsey.
52
00:02:28,546 --> 00:02:31,561
My neighbours have been complaining
about the cries of passion
53
00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:34,995
and ecstasy coming from my bedroom,
so I was hoping you could pop over
54
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,810
and soundproof my windows.
55
00:02:38,295 --> 00:02:42,053
A double glazing-based
sex fantasy. She's a keeper.
56
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:46,715
Mr Swan. It's Abigail Barnes, your
favourite government employee here.
57
00:02:47,090 --> 00:02:50,275
Just a call to let you know we've
fixed a date for your case hearing.
58
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,035
May 29th.
59
00:02:52,061 --> 00:02:55,010
So that's a whole six weeks
to come up with £50,000.
60
00:02:55,036 --> 00:02:57,359
- Fuck. Fucking fuck!
- Have a nice day.
61
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:04,012
What now?
62
00:03:04,038 --> 00:03:06,332
Vincent? It's Brian. Can I come up?
63
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,299
This place is nice.
64
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:14,283
Let's cut the small talk bollocks.
Why are you here?
65
00:03:14,309 --> 00:03:18,223
Look, I just came round to try and
make things right between us.
66
00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:20,830
And before you say anything,
I'm not trying to get my job back.
67
00:03:20,856 --> 00:03:23,413
Good, because you're not fucking
getting it back. Ever.
68
00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:24,814
Like I said, just...
69
00:03:25,495 --> 00:03:29,795
came to apologise and hopefully in
time you'll be able to forgive me.
70
00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:31,007
So...
71
00:03:31,874 --> 00:03:33,217
thanks for listening.
72
00:03:33,243 --> 00:03:35,999
Right. Well, off you fuck then.
73
00:03:36,135 --> 00:03:37,372
Right.
74
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:41,134
Oh, there was one more thing,
75
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,747
would it be all right if I pop by
the showroom, just to pick up
76
00:03:44,773 --> 00:03:47,275
a few bits and pieces,
say goodbye to the team properly?
77
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:50,080
No-one gives a shit about you
but it's a free country.
78
00:03:50,381 --> 00:03:51,487
Thanks, Vincent.
79
00:03:54,178 --> 00:03:55,928
Good night mate, ah...
80
00:03:56,662 --> 00:04:01,390
With its haunting aroma of stale
sex and 24-hour pervert hotline,
81
00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:04,853
Trixie's flat felt like purgatory.
I had to get out.
82
00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:09,235
It was so bad that even a sofa
that smelt of Walshy's
83
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,024
arse-crack felt like an upgrade.
84
00:04:17,285 --> 00:04:19,180
Hello? Hello?
85
00:04:19,206 --> 00:04:21,715
Shit! Fucking Walshy.
86
00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:23,442
Hello?
87
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,068
I'm coming up. I warn you!
88
00:04:27,194 --> 00:04:28,340
I'm armed!
89
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,955
I guess I could've told Walshy I was
sleeping in the office
90
00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:37,748
but if you're about to tap
someone up for 50 grand,
91
00:04:37,774 --> 00:04:41,014
it's probably best not to do it in
last night's piss stained Y-fronts.
92
00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:44,395
Fucking hell, Vincent!
You could knock...
93
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:47,969
Sorry, Mum, but before you send me to my
room, I'm getting straight to the point.
94
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:49,644
It's about time you made me a partner.
95
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,791
And don't give me any grief, all right.
I've already made you a mint.
96
00:04:51,817 --> 00:04:54,678
No, no, I think you being
a partner's a great idea.
97
00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:55,704
Yeah?
98
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,835
Too right. Have a seat.
99
00:04:59,321 --> 00:05:01,645
I've been looking for someone
to invest in the business.
100
00:05:01,671 --> 00:05:03,248
How much were you
thinking of putting in?
101
00:05:03,274 --> 00:05:06,678
More like what I was looking
to take out. Namely, me.
102
00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:08,835
See, I was thinking to keep me motivated
103
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:11,475
for the foreseeable future,
104
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:13,555
the business could invest in me
to the tune of 50 grand.
105
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,835
How does that sound?
106
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:18,195
Un-fucking likely. You're not going
to quit and we both know it.
107
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,235
What we both do know is without me
you'd have lost
108
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:22,635
that disgusting shirt on your hairy
fucking back by now.
109
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:24,995
That was before your recent
personal problems.
110
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,115
You ain't selling shit
at the moment, boy.
111
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:29,035
Sales have dipped, granted,
112
00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:32,915
but that's more due to a
downturn in consumer confidence,
113
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,515
- market forces.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
114
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:36,795
You tell yourself whatever
bollocks you like,
115
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:40,758
bottom line is our consumers
have lost confidence in you.
116
00:05:40,784 --> 00:05:43,334
So unless you start
selling windows for me,
117
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:48,124
the only thing you'll get
from me is a fucking P-45!
118
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,842
Now, are we done here?
119
00:05:52,139 --> 00:05:53,535
I need a shit.
120
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,254
How come you look so fucking cheerful?
121
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,195
Guess who just reeled in a big one?
122
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,637
Congrats, mate.
123
00:06:02,814 --> 00:06:04,635
What was it, your first conservatory?
124
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:07,235
Bit bigger, and smells of piss more.
125
00:06:07,357 --> 00:06:08,568
You've lost me.
126
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:11,595
I've just landed us the contract
for the refurbishment
127
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,691
of the old people's home
on Wickford Road.
128
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,548
Fucking 42 windows and 12 doors.
129
00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:18,515
This old mate of mine from
Chelmsford Grammar
130
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,995
works for the council and he made
sure the order came our way.
131
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:22,603
Fuck me. That's incredible news.
132
00:06:22,629 --> 00:06:25,955
If this goes well we could end up on the
council's list of approved suppliers.
133
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,704
I'll go give Walshy the glad tidings.
134
00:06:28,047 --> 00:06:29,275
Hold your horses.
135
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,835
Now, congrats on the Old Girls
network coming through,
136
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:34,793
but strictly speaking this
is a commercial deal,
137
00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:37,098
and as such it has to go through
the commercial sales arm.
138
00:06:37,124 --> 00:06:39,782
What? What fucking commercial
sales arm?!
139
00:06:40,039 --> 00:06:42,534
No-one's ever mentioned
a commercial sales arm.
140
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,794
Vincent Swan, head of commercial
sales at your service.
141
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:50,445
Now, don't worry, I'll make sure
you get a nice finders bonus.
142
00:06:50,508 --> 00:06:52,355
I'd better go give Walshy
the glad tidings.
143
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:54,820
And look, mate, I'm sorry,
I don't make the rules.
144
00:06:56,073 --> 00:06:58,120
I know, I do make the rules.
145
00:06:58,347 --> 00:07:00,593
And that was a dick move. Even for me.
146
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,396
Walshy! Stop tugging on that pencil
dick and prepare to be happy.
147
00:07:07,791 --> 00:07:09,132
Hello, Millman Young.
148
00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:11,772
Hi, it's Sam Swan. I've got
a meeting with Little Prick.
149
00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:13,475
I mean, Andrew Davis.
150
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,377
Sorry, was that Andrew Davis?
151
00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:16,999
Yeah, Andrew Davis.
152
00:07:17,025 --> 00:07:19,312
- Come in.
- OK.
153
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:22,515
Are you sure you should be here?
154
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:25,675
I told you, Vincent and I had
a little sit down, cleared the air.
155
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,635
Now take a seat, Carol.
156
00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:31,377
In fact, Vincent practically
begged me to come by
157
00:07:31,403 --> 00:07:33,606
and share with you
my life-changing news.
158
00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:35,423
And I know you'll be amazed.
159
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,658
Please be a sex change.
160
00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:41,358
Actually, no, this is better.
161
00:07:41,706 --> 00:07:45,898
My name is Brian Fitzpatrick
and I used to be morbidly obese.
162
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,995
- No, you didn't.
- Can I just finish the presentation,
163
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,755
I'll answer questions afterwards?
164
00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:54,277
I'm ashamed to say that before you
knew me I used to be a fat fuck,
165
00:07:54,303 --> 00:07:58,639
as you can see from this picture
of me as a teenager.
166
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:01,155
Oh, my God! You've lost so much weight.
167
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,235
That's incredible!
168
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:04,635
And grown a different face.
That is incredible.
169
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,915
Can I have a closer look?
170
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:09,035
I think you'll find, Carol, that
most of the Nature-Burn Community
171
00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:10,680
are unrecognisable once they lose
the weight.
172
00:08:10,843 --> 00:08:13,795
You see, it's thanks to Nature-Burn's
173
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:16,715
supply of vitamin
supplements and diet pills
174
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:19,423
that I became the
slender man I am today.
175
00:08:19,449 --> 00:08:20,675
And always have been.
176
00:08:21,223 --> 00:08:23,535
Well, look, here's a little advance
on your commission.
177
00:08:23,561 --> 00:08:25,591
That should keep the taxman off
your back for a bit.
178
00:08:25,617 --> 00:08:28,057
Well done to Cachet's
Head Of Commercial Sales!
179
00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:29,940
Who?
180
00:08:30,705 --> 00:08:32,395
What the fuck is going on, Brian?
181
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,906
Well, I just popped by to pick up
a few things and then
182
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,776
the guys started peppering me with
questions about my new business venture.
183
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:40,755
No, you said Vincent was
begging you to tell us all
184
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,435
about your life-changing news.
185
00:08:42,460 --> 00:08:44,136
I think what we need to focus on here
186
00:08:44,162 --> 00:08:46,057
is that I have life-changing news.
187
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,635
I've had enough of this place.
188
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,835
Hang on, I was just about tell
you Nature-Burn's...
189
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,395
Shove your diet pills up your arse.
190
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:54,555
Well, unfortunately Nature-Burn
don't do suppositories,
191
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,355
but soon as they do, I'll happily
shove them up my arse.
192
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,393
Martin, mate, hold up,
let me buy you a pint.
193
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:02,899
So, these diet pills work then?
How much you charging?
194
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,920
£30 for a month's supply.
195
00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:09,155
But I am running a one week's free
trial to get people hooked...
196
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,995
I mean, to get them on the road
to a healthier lifestyle.
197
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:15,395
I'm prepared to make that
exclusive one-time offer
198
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:17,195
exclusively to you, Tony.
199
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:18,520
What about me?
200
00:09:18,682 --> 00:09:22,515
Well, I'm prepared to make
that exclusive one-time offer
201
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:24,595
exclusively to you as well, Carol.
202
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:25,660
Oh.
203
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:28,715
Thank you.
204
00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:30,995
And one for you. We're celebrating.
205
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,364
Seriously, if you've just followed
me here to wind me up...
206
00:09:33,537 --> 00:09:34,738
No, it's not like that.
207
00:09:34,764 --> 00:09:36,943
I told you, I'm going to make sure
you get your cut from this deal.
208
00:09:36,969 --> 00:09:38,598
Just has to go through
the right channels first.
209
00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:40,205
The right channel being
your back pocket?
210
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,400
No, mate, it's not like...
211
00:09:41,545 --> 00:09:43,158
You've got to be shitting me!
212
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,039
Congratulations, Sam.
213
00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:49,555
If you thought going on a date with
Essex's answer to Jimmy Krankie
214
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:50,712
would wind me up, you were right.
215
00:09:50,738 --> 00:09:54,107
Now, now, Vincent.
This isn't a date as such.
216
00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:56,915
I'm happy to say I've just
hired Sam as my new PA
217
00:09:56,940 --> 00:10:00,115
and this is a working lunch.
We're talking about her new duties.
218
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,915
Yeah, well, she doesn't
need a fucking job
219
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,355
so I suggest you look elsewhere!
220
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:04,994
Er, pipe down, Tarzan.
221
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:07,035
I'll be the one deciding
if I need a job.
222
00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:09,030
I can provide for my family, Sam.
223
00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:12,807
Sorry about this, Andrew. I just
need a minute, is that all right?
224
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,708
If you're such a great fucking provider
225
00:10:19,734 --> 00:10:21,635
then why did the building
society call to say
226
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,801
- that we're behind on the mortgage?
- I'm sorting it.
227
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,715
Save me the bullshit, Vincent.
228
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:27,733
You're not capable of sorting
anything right now.
229
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:32,409
So please fuck off before I lose the
only source of income for my family.
230
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,275
Sorry about that.
231
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:40,155
We are not skint. Give that
to the fucking building society!
232
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:42,720
I think they might prefer a cheque
or a standing order, old chap.
233
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:44,692
Try and save some of that money, yeah?
234
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,314
You've got Robbie for the day tomorrow
235
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:47,870
and you'll need to buy him
something for his tea.
236
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:54,781
- Vincent?
- Yes, I know! I stole your deal, OK?
237
00:10:54,807 --> 00:10:56,755
But I also said I would see you right,
238
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:59,927
like I have done these previous ten
months while you've sold jack shit,
239
00:10:59,953 --> 00:11:02,742
so please, stop fucking crying about it.
240
00:11:04,219 --> 00:11:05,219
Here.
241
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:12,460
That husband of yours is
tremendously entertaining.
242
00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:21,035
Oi, shithead.
243
00:11:22,086 --> 00:11:23,846
Those diet pills you're flogging.
244
00:11:23,907 --> 00:11:25,217
They're basically just speed, right?
245
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:28,395
No way. I don't care what
Esther fucking Rantzen said
246
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:32,101
on That's Life, these are
bona fide health supplements,
247
00:11:32,219 --> 00:11:33,915
not re-packaged Purple Hearts.
248
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:35,355
Well, I'm not buying any then.
249
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:36,984
No, no, no, no, wait, hang on.
250
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,915
All right, yeah, they're speed,
but they're 100% pure
251
00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:42,219
and they're good shit.
252
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:44,420
Trust me, you'll be flying.
253
00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:48,777
And boy did I need something to bring
the old Vincent Swan mojo back.
254
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,115
My whole shitting world
was falling apart.
255
00:11:51,402 --> 00:11:53,595
And it wasn't only Walshy and
Little Prick taking advantage
256
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:54,955
of my recent dip in performance.
257
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:58,742
Brrm, brrm, mate!
258
00:11:58,768 --> 00:12:00,258
Fuck. Things are worse than I thought.
259
00:12:00,327 --> 00:12:02,652
Usually these zit-faced little
fuckers would rue the day
260
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,240
they yanked my chain. Not now.
261
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,265
Shit, they can literally smell
the weakness pouring out of me.
262
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,049
Mr Burglar?
263
00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:24,938
Fuck.
264
00:12:25,859 --> 00:12:27,362
Show yourself.
265
00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:31,010
Come out whoever you are.
266
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:33,227
Hello?
267
00:12:36,558 --> 00:12:38,543
- Who's that?
- Morning, Carol.
268
00:12:38,569 --> 00:12:39,835
Jesus Christ.
269
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,795
Almost. It's me. You all right?
270
00:12:42,907 --> 00:12:44,642
You scared the shit out of me.
271
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,241
The lights have just turned
themselves off.
272
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:49,395
- Must be the poltergeist.
- The what?
273
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,275
Same thing happened to Walshy
yesterday. The showroom's haunted.
274
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,583
It definitely smells like
something died in here.
275
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:57,023
Sorry about that. Dodgy tum.
276
00:12:57,049 --> 00:12:58,904
I think it's those diet pills.
277
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:01,424
Or maybe this place really is haunted.
278
00:13:01,734 --> 00:13:03,469
Spirits, send us a sign.
279
00:13:03,495 --> 00:13:05,535
Don't...
280
00:13:08,894 --> 00:13:10,218
Hello?
281
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,570
Yeah, this is Carol.
282
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:17,972
Oh, thank God, I thought you were
a poltergeist.
283
00:13:18,371 --> 00:13:21,139
Never mind. Yeah, he's here. One second.
284
00:13:21,538 --> 00:13:23,115
It's Sam. Really angry.
285
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:25,235
Shit. Robbie! Tell her I'm on my way.
286
00:13:26,052 --> 00:13:28,016
Meanwhile recent events
had driven Lavender
287
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:29,773
back into the arms of an old flame.
288
00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:33,465
Very good, so you were in
Paul Young's band
289
00:13:33,491 --> 00:13:35,127
just before he made it big?
290
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:39,195
Yeah. No, commercial success
didn't really appeal to me.
291
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:42,787
Well, here in Ben Billing's band
we're all about the music.
292
00:13:42,826 --> 00:13:45,589
Now our bassist has broken his arm,
293
00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:47,936
and we need a replacement for
tonight's warm-up gig.
294
00:13:47,962 --> 00:13:49,555
Then, and I don't know
if you're up for this,
295
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:52,814
we're going to be heading up north
to tour to support the miners.
296
00:13:53,002 --> 00:13:56,447
Love supporting the miners.
"Support The Miners!"
297
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,475
I could well be interested in coming
on the tour, thank you.
298
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,515
Are you sure?
299
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:04,915
Because it's a very long commitment,
and I'll be straight with you,
300
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:07,598
last couple of gigs we've had
some unwelcome attention
301
00:14:07,624 --> 00:14:09,119
from National Front thugs.
302
00:14:09,264 --> 00:14:12,641
Sure. I am done working for The Man.
303
00:14:13,007 --> 00:14:15,034
I mean, I've probably
got to give The Man
304
00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,995
a couple of weeks' notice, but
after that I'm ready to quit
305
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,937
this town and get back
on the fucking road.
306
00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:23,998
Not to mention get back on the booze
and the drugs and the groupies!
307
00:14:24,137 --> 00:14:26,032
Well, I'm sober these days.
308
00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:28,075
Yeah, I'm more hopped up on the notion
309
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,916
of trying to change shit politically
through music.
310
00:14:31,349 --> 00:14:33,564
Yeah. Me too. That's what I meant.
311
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:35,514
Glad to hear it, comrade.
312
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:38,715
Your bloody pills are
making me feel like shit.
313
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:39,932
Me too.
314
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:43,395
Can't be the pills. They've
been scientifically tested.
315
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:44,883
By scientists.
316
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,115
Maybe it's the showroom poltergeist?
317
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,075
It's not a ghost, Carol,
it's his shitty pills.
318
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,475
What's this low-life doing here?
319
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,795
Haven't you got a job
or a park bench to get to?
320
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,795
This is my job. Thank you very much.
321
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,515
First client progress session,
the daily weigh-in.
322
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,675
As soon as we're done,
I'll be out of your hair.
323
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,978
We are done, mate.
324
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,515
I don't need a weigh-in to tell
me I've lost 2st because
325
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:09,079
that's how much shit has flown out
of my arse in the past 24 hours!
326
00:15:09,105 --> 00:15:11,562
All right, let's keep things civil.
327
00:15:11,588 --> 00:15:12,995
You don't have to take the pills, Tony.
328
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:14,340
They're a free trial,
329
00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:17,821
although you should know that there
might be some withdrawal symptoms.
330
00:15:18,112 --> 00:15:19,715
What kind of fucking symptoms?
331
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:22,108
Shakes, headaches,
332
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:24,115
a few of the old suicidal thoughts.
333
00:15:24,308 --> 00:15:26,803
Should only last a couple of days.
Week tops.
334
00:15:26,829 --> 00:15:28,564
OK. Walshy, a quick word?
335
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,795
Before you top yourself,
can you forward me
336
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:32,606
the rest of the commission
on the retirement home?
337
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,195
Until the ink is dry on
the contract Vincent,
338
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:39,075
you've got two chances, no chance,
and no fucking chance.
339
00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:42,682
Now, would you all excuse me,
please? I need a poo.
340
00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:45,658
All right, Carol, where's Lavender?
341
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:48,835
I need him to get the contract signed
by his bum-chum down at the council.
342
00:15:49,006 --> 00:15:51,235
- He's at the dentist all morning.
- I'll do it myself.
343
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,824
Can you watch Robbie for a few hours?
344
00:15:53,346 --> 00:15:56,155
No can do. I'm meeting
a white witch this afternoon.
345
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:57,330
Course you are.
346
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,531
I can do it. I'm doing fuck all.
347
00:15:59,557 --> 00:16:03,294
I mean, I could probably move a few
clients around, make some space.
348
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:04,845
Really?
349
00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:06,778
- Tenner.
- Christ.
350
00:16:08,298 --> 00:16:09,605
All right.
351
00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,675
Look, Uncle Brian is going
to keep an eye on you
352
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,211
for a couple of hours, all right?
353
00:16:16,237 --> 00:16:18,475
What! I knew today was
going to be boring.
354
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,395
Listen, my number one son,
you'll get to spend some quality
355
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:23,995
time with Daddy, straight after
Daddy gets back from closing
356
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:26,280
a big fucking deal with the man
from the council.
357
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:28,650
Those Ataris don't grow on
trees, you know.
358
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,315
For the next hour, I'm going to
forget my life's a shit-show
359
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,340
and seal this fucking deal using
the old Vincent Swan magic.
360
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,980
First, I just might need some help
from our old purple friends.
361
00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:44,772
It's show-time, folks!
362
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:51,435
I've been waiting two fucking hours!
363
00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:52,876
Two fucking hours!
364
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,199
I told you, Mr Swan,
you haven't booked an appointment.
365
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:57,955
Mr Osbourne is a busy man.
366
00:16:58,287 --> 00:17:00,142
Mr Swan?
367
00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:02,995
Rick Osbourne? Vincent Swan, Cachet
Windows Head Of Commercial Sales.
368
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:04,723
I'm Martin Lavender's boss.
369
00:17:04,749 --> 00:17:06,324
Sorry to barge in on you like this.
370
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,035
Really? Martin works for you?
371
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,506
Yeah. I see myself more as
a mentor, a father figure.
372
00:17:11,532 --> 00:17:14,355
Right, well, I'm actually on my way
to another meeting right now
373
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,323
so if you want to fix up an
appointment with Sarah,
374
00:17:16,349 --> 00:17:17,838
we'll discuss this another time, OK?
375
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,155
Rick, I'll skip the foreplay
and jump straight
376
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:21,355
into the penetration then.
377
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:24,115
We are very happy to be supplying
windows to the old people's home
378
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,835
but in order cut the lead-time we
need to get the contract signed
379
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:27,875
and the deposit paid.
380
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,395
As I said, Mr Swan, talk to Sarah
about an appointment.
381
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:33,596
- There's no hurry. - No, no, no,
there is a big fucking hurry indeed.
382
00:17:33,622 --> 00:17:36,502
Look, I have the contract here,
so if you fancy signing it.
383
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:38,727
Sorry, mate. Sweating like a pig.
384
00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:44,834
All right.
I was dreading telling Martin this,
385
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:47,395
but it's actually going to be
a lot of fun telling you.
386
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:50,062
There was an emergency council
budget meeting last night.
387
00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,474
The bloodsuckers on the council
finally got their way.
388
00:17:52,986 --> 00:17:55,064
We're closing the retirement home.
389
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:59,600
Makes more fiscal sense selling
the land to a supermarket chain.
390
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,020
So the deal's off, I'm afraid.
391
00:18:03,078 --> 00:18:04,137
Fuck.
392
00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:06,355
Well, that's tragic.
393
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:08,635
I know. The poor residents
are being relocated
394
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,835
to a council facility 17 miles away.
395
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:12,875
Fuck them, Rick.
They're nearly dead. I'm 31!
396
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,501
How am I going to pay my mortgage?
397
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,275
You got any other high-end
commercial deals
398
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,955
you want to sling Lavender's way?
399
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:21,836
Eh? Rick? Please. Oh, come on, mate.
400
00:18:23,023 --> 00:18:24,395
The choice was simple,
401
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:28,035
either sell the Swan family home or
spend my 30s in debtors' prison.
402
00:18:28,144 --> 00:18:30,679
The way I saw it, they could
always get rehoused,
403
00:18:30,705 --> 00:18:32,995
whereas I wouldn't be able
to get a new arsehole.
404
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:35,235
Sarah, love, who do I have
to sleep with around here
405
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:37,147
to jump the waiting list
for a council house?
406
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,783
The mark-up on these, it's incredible.
407
00:18:41,156 --> 00:18:42,575
What are you doing here?
408
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,875
I'm just baby-sitting young Robbie here.
409
00:18:44,987 --> 00:18:46,456
We've had a right laugh,
haven't we, Robbie?
410
00:18:46,482 --> 00:18:49,417
Uncle Fitzpatrick says I'm
a bit on the chubby side
411
00:18:49,443 --> 00:18:50,698
so he gave me some of these.
412
00:18:50,724 --> 00:18:52,139
As a gift.
413
00:18:52,311 --> 00:18:53,831
You can explain that to his mum.
414
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,595
Nice wheels.
415
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:03,915
You're funny.
416
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,635
No, no, I'm serious. I
always wanted a Chopper.
417
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:11,315
Ape-hanger handle-bars and the old
suicide clutch. It's a classic.
418
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,674
Yeah, well, we're a bit short of
cash so I had to sell my car...
419
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,919
so, yeah, that's embarrassing.
420
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:19,604
Come on. I'll drive you guys home.
421
00:19:20,262 --> 00:19:24,157
Or, better still, you
drive you guys home
422
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:25,877
and I'll take the Chopper.
423
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,103
All right.
424
00:19:31,598 --> 00:19:32,853
He's mental.
425
00:19:32,879 --> 00:19:34,021
He is!
426
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,715
- A nutter.
- What is he doing?
427
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,420
Honestly.
428
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:41,580
- _
- What the fuck have you done, Vincent?
429
00:19:44,512 --> 00:19:46,078
Oh, God!
430
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:54,515
Are you all right?
431
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:58,475
Oh, no. I think the suicide clutch
has mangled my scrotum.
432
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,015
Oh, God, I'm sorry!
433
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,155
Why is the house for sale?
434
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:08,828
Just come inside.
435
00:20:09,622 --> 00:20:12,795
I just wish that ball-bag Vincent
could have told me about this first.
436
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,140
Could we leave ball-bags out the
conversation for now, please?
437
00:20:17,446 --> 00:20:20,781
Thank you. I've not had much
to laugh about lately.
438
00:20:21,999 --> 00:20:24,275
I'm glad my testicles could
bring you some pleasure.
439
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,433
Who said chivalry was dead, eh?
440
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,795
Well, if you fancied a laugh
that doesn't involve me
441
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:32,115
being neutered, you're welcome to
come to the left-wing agit rock gig
442
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:33,606
I'm playing in support
of the miners tonight.
443
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,564
Whoa! Well, I mean, how could I resist?
444
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:41,035
The best thing about having an
affair with a 23-year-old
445
00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:42,595
is that whatever the problem...
446
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:43,835
Vincent?
447
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,515
..sex is always the answer.
448
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,955
Why my Dad is going to hell,
449
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,995
to hell, to hell...
450
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:07,435
Good boy, Robbie.
451
00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,647
Don't call me Robbie!
452
00:21:09,673 --> 00:21:10,875
I didn't call you Robbie.
453
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,475
Yes, you fucking did.
454
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:13,995
What are you doing?
455
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:16,715
Checking if my hands are pulsating.
Fucking pills!
456
00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:19,275
Oh, shit, I forgot about Robbie.
457
00:21:20,053 --> 00:21:23,235
Thank you. Thanks very much.
458
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:25,395
While I was ODing on sex and drugs,
459
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:28,115
Lavender was rekindling his
rock and roll addiction.
460
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:29,675
Well done!
461
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:30,911
That was a lot of fun.
462
00:21:32,699 --> 00:21:34,835
I like to think it's a bit more
important than that, Martin.
463
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:38,355
Yeah, of course, yeah.
I was just being an idiot.
464
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,355
- Yeah.
- I thought it was a lot of fun too.
465
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:42,817
Sorry for enjoying myself.
466
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,714
This is Sam. She's, erm...
She's just kidding.
467
00:21:45,740 --> 00:21:47,620
Well, the thing is, Sam,
468
00:21:48,151 --> 00:21:50,275
I remember when this was a
working-class town that would
469
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:52,635
have found common cause
with the striking miners.
470
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:54,715
Now it's all Thatcher's
fucking children,
471
00:21:54,740 --> 00:21:56,355
buying their own council houses,
472
00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:59,715
bankrupting themselves with flash
cars and shitty double-glazing.
473
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:03,075
So I hope tonight wasn't
so much fun as it was
474
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:06,272
a much-needed lesson
in social responsibility.
475
00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:10,195
And is it socially responsible
to define people politically
476
00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:11,275
by what they buy?
477
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,795
Because I think
it's socially irresponsible.
478
00:22:13,985 --> 00:22:15,515
And fucking patronising.
479
00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:18,778
If you played a gig for striking
double-glazing salesmen,
480
00:22:19,153 --> 00:22:21,590
I wonder how many miners would be
in the audience to support them?
481
00:22:21,655 --> 00:22:25,452
Well, well, well. I see
this lady is not for turning.
482
00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:28,475
Lavender, you going to be on the
tour bus tomorrow night?
483
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:29,831
Hell, yeah.
484
00:22:29,857 --> 00:22:33,695
Great. Sam, pleasure sparring with you,
485
00:22:34,047 --> 00:22:37,100
but got some TUC Execs in
so I'd better go say hello.
486
00:22:39,337 --> 00:22:40,961
Sorry if that was a bit...
487
00:22:41,384 --> 00:22:43,999
He's just... He's just very committed.
488
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,366
Committed to being a pretentious twat?
489
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:49,658
Er, yes. He is 100% committed to that.
490
00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:52,449
- Another drink?
- Yeah.
491
00:22:53,802 --> 00:22:56,919
Oi, barman. We're going to need
four bottles of Holsten here.
492
00:22:57,285 --> 00:23:00,715
And now tell me we haven't missed
that commie cunt Billings.
493
00:23:00,740 --> 00:23:03,275
Oi, oi!
494
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,340
Where is he? Where's that fucking nonce?
495
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:11,531
You're not like the other girls
round here, really impressive, Sam.
496
00:23:12,096 --> 00:23:13,791
A real live-wire.
497
00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:17,835
All right, Ben. What happened
to those TUC execs?
498
00:23:17,860 --> 00:23:19,595
They're just outside in the beer garden,
499
00:23:19,620 --> 00:23:21,675
waiting for an audience
with Ben Billings, so...
500
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:22,940
better not disappoint.
501
00:23:25,174 --> 00:23:26,189
Shall we do one?
502
00:23:26,215 --> 00:23:27,615
Oh, yes, please.
503
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:34,155
All right, mate, you know that
commie ponce Ben Billings?
504
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,886
I just saw him pop out into the
garden if you're interested.
505
00:23:41,992 --> 00:23:43,567
He had it coming though.
506
00:23:43,818 --> 00:23:45,633
Yeah. What a dick.
507
00:23:46,349 --> 00:23:49,195
"You're a live-wire, Sam, seriously."
508
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:52,355
"Oh, thanks, Ben, you sexy activist."
509
00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:53,755
Is that meant to be me?
510
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:55,435
Yeah. Obviously. Hello.
511
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,755
"Oh, Ben, do you want to come in for
a coffee and a class struggle?"
512
00:23:59,997 --> 00:24:01,500
Yeah, all right.
513
00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:04,522
"I was joking, Ben. I am married."
514
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:10,297
You weren't being Ben, were you?
515
00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:18,635
Do you want to come in?
516
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:19,995
What about the kids?
517
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:21,260
They'll be asleep.
518
00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:24,060
Yeah, come on.
519
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,300
Get away from my wife, you arsehole!
520
00:24:33,185 --> 00:24:34,426
Gotcha!
521
00:24:34,685 --> 00:24:37,395
Mate, you should have seen your
fucking face, it was priceless.
522
00:24:37,420 --> 00:24:38,915
What the fuck are you doing here?
523
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:43,001
Look, I understand you're annoyed.
I'm sorry I fucked up today.
524
00:24:43,251 --> 00:24:44,795
But I came to apologise and saw Robbie
525
00:24:44,820 --> 00:24:47,475
and he was like, "Can you stay
with me and watch Minder?"
526
00:24:49,002 --> 00:24:50,656
Do you know what, I panicked.
527
00:24:50,682 --> 00:24:52,717
I'll take the house off the market
tomorrow.
528
00:24:54,334 --> 00:24:55,560
Sam?
529
00:24:55,825 --> 00:24:58,029
Sam, come on, don't be like that!
530
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:12,715
I'm sorry for being a dick to you
about that council job.
531
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,720
It's already forgotten.
532
00:25:15,718 --> 00:25:19,833
Robbie told me you brought him home
and took Sam out to cheer her up.
533
00:25:21,513 --> 00:25:23,915
You're taking care of my family
better than I am at the moment.
534
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:26,555
Come on, mate. I know things are
tough right now
535
00:25:26,884 --> 00:25:28,288
but you'll pull through.
536
00:25:29,897 --> 00:25:31,209
Thank you.
537
00:25:31,503 --> 00:25:34,555
Now, are you on the old diet pills
because I've lost mine
538
00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:37,580
and I'm starting to shake
like a fucking leaf right now.
539
00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:43,315
Whoa, ooh, oh! Nobody wants you here.
540
00:25:44,197 --> 00:25:46,675
Leave this place.
541
00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:52,075
Ooh, ahh, hello!
542
00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:54,555
Whoa...
543
00:25:55,002 --> 00:25:57,217
- What's happening?
- It's an exorcism.
544
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,777
Don't worry, she's a
professional white witch.
545
00:25:59,803 --> 00:26:02,355
Oh, good, because just for
a second there I was worried.
546
00:26:04,539 --> 00:26:06,755
There. It's gone.
You shouldn't have any more trouble.
547
00:26:06,780 --> 00:26:08,155
Oh, thank God.
548
00:26:08,180 --> 00:26:10,595
If you do get any more problems
with the lights then I'll get
549
00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:12,117
- my boyfriend round.
- What is he a priest?
550
00:26:12,143 --> 00:26:13,423
No, he's an electrician.
551
00:26:15,180 --> 00:26:16,858
- Have you got a tenner?
- For what?
552
00:26:16,891 --> 00:26:18,506
The witch services.
553
00:26:18,532 --> 00:26:19,827
We're paying her for this?
554
00:26:19,853 --> 00:26:22,714
I can throw in a quick tarot
reading as part of the price.
555
00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:25,035
I sense a troubled soul in you.
556
00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:26,435
Tarot reading?
557
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:29,475
No offence but if I want to appeal
to a higher authority to get me
558
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:32,115
out of this fucking hole, it'll
be someone with more clout
559
00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,065
than a track-suit-wearing Grotbags.
560
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,675
It looked like I was going to have
to take this one to the very top.
561
00:26:40,143 --> 00:26:41,900
I guess I'm really doing this.
562
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:49,119
Dear God,
563
00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:51,635
Jesus, Mary,
564
00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:54,375
whoever the fuck it is
that deals with prayers,
565
00:26:54,460 --> 00:26:56,849
or let's call it what it is,
begging requests.
566
00:26:57,460 --> 00:27:01,874
So this is it, I'm literally
down on my knees.
567
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,585
I mean, how does it even work?
568
00:27:04,980 --> 00:27:06,715
I promise to believe in you,
569
00:27:07,015 --> 00:27:09,475
adjust my behaviour accordingly,
570
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:10,558
and you do what?
571
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:12,435
Give me a sign?
572
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:14,620
Or a feeling of hope.
573
00:27:16,220 --> 00:27:19,635
Do you still do the whole
voice of God thing?
574
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:21,784
Vincent Swan,
575
00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:24,340
your prayers have been answered.
576
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:29,875
Ronnie?
577
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:32,305
No, it's God, you berk.
578
00:27:32,331 --> 00:27:33,675
What are you doing here?
579
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:36,435
I've got a deal with that
old wino Father Andrews
580
00:27:36,460 --> 00:27:40,195
for the communion plonk, it's Don
Cortez cheap shit that's not been
581
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:43,052
consecrated, but don't
tell the Catholics.
582
00:27:44,021 --> 00:27:48,315
You don't believe in this old
bollocks, do you, Vincent?
583
00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:52,100
No. Course not, it's a mug's game.
584
00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:55,876
Ronnie, you don't want to get
a pint, do ya?
585
00:27:55,902 --> 00:27:58,542
I've got something I'd like
to get your advice on.
586
00:28:06,660 --> 00:28:08,715
So what can I help you with, Vincent?
587
00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:10,555
Yeah, erm... Well...
588
00:28:10,580 --> 00:28:12,315
Oh, no. Not these cunts.
589
00:28:12,340 --> 00:28:15,995
It's him again. You want some?
590
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:17,620
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mug.
591
00:28:20,460 --> 00:28:24,075
What did you do that for,
you fucking nut job?
592
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:26,320
I smell different today, don't I, boys?
593
00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:29,195
Leg it, leg it!
594
00:28:29,736 --> 00:28:31,475
Sorry about that.
595
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:35,875
Now, Ronnie, isn't it about time you
and I went into business together?
47643
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.