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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
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1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:04,055
Hang on a second, Walshy, frankly
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,975
Having a company car
is a basic human right.
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,695
Stop being an arse, Vincent.
4
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:11,575
No double glazing salesman
has ever had a company car.
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,415
Which is exactly why
I think I deserve one.
6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,575
You are delusional, mate.
You're having a tin bath!
7
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,975
Not by my lights. Do you know how
much business I've brought in
8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,211
- these past three months?
- You know, the problem with you is
9
00:00:21,237 --> 00:00:22,687
you've formed your own fan club.
10
00:00:22,713 --> 00:00:26,830
The Vincent Swan fan club.
Membership one, Vincent Swan.
11
00:00:26,856 --> 00:00:30,751
- You. - Were you up all night working
on that line, you smart arse prick?
12
00:00:30,777 --> 00:00:33,317
284 grand is the answer.
13
00:00:33,343 --> 00:00:36,735
You aren't getting a fucking
company car! End of!
14
00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:40,015
Well, you've left me with no other
choice than to resign, Walshy.
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,213
You think I'm bothered? Resign then.
16
00:00:42,239 --> 00:00:45,015
I'll have 50 mugs lined up
to do your job by lunchtime.
17
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,455
Good luck with that. You'd
better hire them all to replace
18
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,520
the money I bring in,
you short-sighted wanker.
19
00:00:56,212 --> 00:00:58,855
Every man has his line in the sand
and that prick Walshy just
20
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,295
took a piss all over mine.
21
00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,947
It's always been a dream of mine
to have a company car.
22
00:01:06,388 --> 00:01:07,838
Ever since yesterday lunchtime.
23
00:01:11,967 --> 00:01:14,321
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.MY-SUBS.com
24
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,743
_
25
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,335
I go round the back, knock on his
dressing room and say, "Listen..."
26
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,735
Who the fuck are these clowns?
27
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,495
"..you've got no face, and you've
got fucking bollocks for hands.
28
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,055
"Other than that you do pretty well."
29
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,964
My dearest Suzanne.
30
00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,575
While I accept you have
to serve other men,
31
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,933
you could at least try and pretend
you're not enjoying it.
32
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:40,645
Martin, this is Vincent Swan,
local wind-up merchant.
33
00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:42,734
Runs Cachet Windows in the high street.
34
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,961
Likes to pretend he runs
this place as well.
35
00:01:44,987 --> 00:01:46,330
How are you doing, mate?
36
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,091
Yeah good, mate. Good.
37
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:51,455
Martin works in magazine publishing.
Very glamorous, eh?
38
00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:54,273
- I hope they're not porn mags, Martin.
- Ha, no.
39
00:01:54,468 --> 00:01:57,293
You'd be hard pushed to knock one
out over one of our magazines.
40
00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:59,375
They're trade publications.
41
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,135
You know, Ventilation Units Weekly,
42
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,255
Roofing Supply Monthly,
that sort of thing.
43
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,234
Fuck me, they sound about as boring
as that suit you're wearing.
44
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,895
- There's no need for that.
- It's just a joke.
45
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,833
I'll tell you what's not
boring, my old son.
46
00:02:11,153 --> 00:02:13,455
The amount of money we're making
selling advertising space.
47
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,375
- Now, what are you boys drinking?
- Nah, let me get these.
48
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,735
Absolutely not. I insist.
We're already running a tab.
49
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,024
I'll just claim it back on the old
expenses. What's your poison?
50
00:02:21,161 --> 00:02:23,155
I'm not fussed. Whatever you're having.
51
00:02:23,183 --> 00:02:26,015
- Lovely lager. Same for you, boyses?
- Cheers.
52
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,377
You get an expense account?
53
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,455
We spend half our lives on the road,
wining and dining clients,
54
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,855
so the old company car and expense
account comes in handy.
55
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,775
Although it's not always easy
getting a receipt
56
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,466
from a knocking shop in
Manchester, is it, Mart?
57
00:02:36,492 --> 00:02:37,867
No, it is not, Philip.
58
00:02:37,893 --> 00:02:40,775
But it did save me from having
to fellate the client myself.
59
00:02:40,947 --> 00:02:43,061
Here you go, boyses. Winner.
60
00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:44,475
Winner.
61
00:02:45,575 --> 00:02:46,836
Winner.
62
00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:50,775
Nice meeting you, boyses.
63
00:02:51,073 --> 00:02:53,175
If you ever fancy leaving
the lucrative world
64
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,382
of door to door sales, give us a call.
65
00:02:55,444 --> 00:02:57,612
We're always on the lookout for
new blood at Millman Young.
66
00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:00,048
- Who do we ask for?
- Yeah, I wasn't talking to you.
67
00:03:00,344 --> 00:03:03,480
- What sort of company car do you get?
- Ford Granada, XL.
68
00:03:03,506 --> 00:03:06,055
Oh, right. A cousin of mine used
to rep for a stationary firm.
69
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,895
He got given a Granada,
and we're talking
70
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,279
a couple of years back before
they gave them to any old wanker.
71
00:03:10,576 --> 00:03:12,335
Anyway, the first night
he gets his new wheels
72
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,255
he decides to go for a
spot of night fishing.
74
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,495
so he just drives the car
up to the lake,
75
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,295
beams the headlights
onto the water and...
76
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,142
Right, gentlemen, we should
probably be making a move.
77
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,412
- Who's this little prick?
- Sorry what?
78
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,055
Vincent, this is Andrew,
our sales director.
79
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,082
Andrew, Vincent Swan, local raconteur.
80
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:30,977
Time to get back to the phones, lads.
81
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,455
Obviously, they didn't teach you
manners at whatever school
82
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,735
you've just bunked off from.
83
00:03:34,804 --> 00:03:36,624
Do your parents know you're
hanging out in pubs?
84
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,636
Yes, very funny.
I'm clearly not a child.
85
00:03:39,662 --> 00:03:41,575
OK, that's us. Nice meeting you, boyses.
86
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,255
Hang on, I haven't finished my story.
87
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,015
Oh, come on then, let's all
hear the end of your story.
88
00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:48,911
Well, he'd parked the car on
a bank with the handbrake off.
89
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:50,935
It rolled straight into the lake.
90
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,440
That sounds very unlikely.
Right, are we done?
91
00:03:55,764 --> 00:03:57,326
Hardly Peter Ustinov, is he?
92
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,975
Don't expect to see him on
Parkinson anytime soon(!)
93
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:08,471
Brash fuckers. "Oh, look at me,
I don't own my own car.
94
00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:13,436
"I drive someone else's car,
like a bloody bus driver."
95
00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:15,593
Why was that little one so grumpy?
96
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,997
He's one of the Seven Dwarves, isn't he?
97
00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:20,801
Fitzpatrick was right.
They were brash fuckers.
98
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,884
Which is why I was confident
I'd fit right in there.
99
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,734
Right, no need to panic. Brian,
you're temporary showroom manager.
100
00:04:29,323 --> 00:04:33,214
Yes! I won't let you down,
boss. It is an honour.
101
00:04:33,476 --> 00:04:35,318
You fucking kidding me?
It's only temporary.
102
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:38,882
- But why him?
- Because he actually sells my bloody windows!
103
00:04:38,908 --> 00:04:42,175
If you want to be considered for
the role then get out there
104
00:04:42,201 --> 00:04:43,489
and sign me some fucking orders!
105
00:04:43,515 --> 00:04:47,607
Ouch. Can I just say that firing
Vincent was a smart move.
106
00:04:47,633 --> 00:04:50,015
I don't want to speak ill
of the recently departed
107
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,764
but that man was a liability.
108
00:04:52,662 --> 00:04:54,655
I'm going to have to ring some
serious changes round here
109
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,401
if we're going to be competitive again.
110
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:59,538
Look, until I get the chance to
meet some potential new recruits,
111
00:04:59,581 --> 00:05:03,892
I just need you to steady the ship
and not fuck anything up, Brian.
112
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:05,656
Understood, boss.
113
00:05:07,545 --> 00:05:10,443
Still, in the meantime, there's no harm
me showing you how we get things done
114
00:05:10,469 --> 00:05:11,644
the Fitzpatrick way.
115
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,255
You obviously are aware the
name Fitzpatrick is synonymous
116
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,415
with fucking things up.
117
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,855
Yeah, well, unless you
want it to be "synonymous"
118
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,975
with getting the sack,
119
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,330
I suggest you start showing
your new boss some respect.
120
00:05:21,356 --> 00:05:24,756
OK. One, you're not my new boss,
you're just a temporary manager.
121
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,295
Two, respect is earned, mate,
not demanded, and three...
122
00:05:28,321 --> 00:05:29,843
you haven't got the balls to sack me.
123
00:05:29,869 --> 00:05:33,752
Yeah? Well I'll see your...
and I'll raise you.
124
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,815
Oh, I'm not going to fire you, mate,
125
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,311
I've got something much,
much worse in store for you.
126
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:42,318
No, I'm going to be your mentor,
I'll be Yoda to your Luke Skywalker.
127
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,815
I see what's happened here.
You've mistaken being a weird,
128
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,335
ugly fella for being a Jedi Master.
129
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,415
Are you two fucking imbeciles
going to get off your arses and
130
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,575
sell my bloody windows or
do I need to sack you, too?!
131
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,953
Chop chop, Lavender.
132
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,615
So, you quit your job,
without consulting me,
133
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,575
because he wouldn't give you a car
when we've already got two cars.
134
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,135
Company car, Sam, we're
talking about a company car.
135
00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:07,324
Stop saying company car like
it's a flying fucking carpet.
136
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,495
It's still a bloody car we don't need.
137
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,695
Unlike, er, food, clothes,
a roof over our heads.
138
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,935
Will you just calm down?
139
00:06:14,961 --> 00:06:16,975
This isn't like when I resigned
from the refinery.
140
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,175
You were sacked from the bloody
refinery! You didn't resign!
141
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,335
Potato, pot-ato. Walked, sacked,
it's all the same.
142
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,975
It's not the same.
143
00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:27,175
The important thing is here
I've been offered a better job.
144
00:06:27,405 --> 00:06:29,375
One with a company car.
145
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,290
If you say company car one
more time I'm divorcing you.
146
00:06:33,078 --> 00:06:34,693
- What's the better job?
- Ah.
147
00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,369
See, this is what I've been
trying to tell you.
148
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,183
I'm moving on from double glazing.
149
00:06:38,417 --> 00:06:41,906
Into publishing, selling advertising
space in magazines.
150
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,596
No more slumming it for me
as a door to door salesman.
151
00:06:44,716 --> 00:06:46,815
And when were you planning
on telling me about this new job,
152
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,150
then, Mr Advertising Executive?
153
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,638
Right after they offer it to me.
The interview's tomorrow.
154
00:06:51,664 --> 00:06:54,655
So, when you say you've got a
new job what you actually mean
155
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,445
- is you haven't got a job?
- Potato, pot-ato.
156
00:06:57,787 --> 00:07:00,229
That's it, run away
you spineless arsehole.
157
00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:03,095
Sam wasn't quite grasping
the difference between a car and
158
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,455
a company car but I felt like now
wasn't the time to enlighten her.
159
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:10,775
From sales performance
to leadership qualities,
160
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,535
Vincent Swan is the single best
employee I've ever had
161
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,072
the pleasure of working alongside.
162
00:07:18,619 --> 00:07:20,575
Our terrible loss
163
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:26,315
will be his new employer's
most fortuitous gain.
164
00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:30,335
Ah, that's sweet. Shall I
finish it "Love, Walshy?"
165
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,455
No, "Yours sincerely,
Mr Tony Walsh" will do.
166
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,975
He fainted instantly... What
the fuck are you doing here?
167
00:07:38,187 --> 00:07:39,935
Lovely to see you, too, Brian.
168
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:42,095
If you've come to beg Walshy
for your job back, you're too late.
169
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,695
There's a new sheriff in town.
170
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,215
Yeah, I'd heard shit for brains
had finally employed
171
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,734
a cowboy to run this place.
172
00:07:47,876 --> 00:07:50,175
Very funny. I've got one for you.
173
00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:51,753
- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
174
00:07:51,786 --> 00:07:53,255
- Vincent.
- Vincent who?
175
00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:55,898
Exactly. Vincent Who.
176
00:07:56,429 --> 00:07:58,295
That's what people will say
when I turn this business
177
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,290
into a mega success story.
178
00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:02,870
So? I don't give a shit,
mate, I've moved on.
179
00:08:03,324 --> 00:08:05,615
Got myself a job with
those publishing boyses.
180
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,335
You know what, if you're lucky,
I might just let you have
181
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,972
a spin in my mega company
car when it arrives.
182
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,415
Fuck off.
183
00:08:12,441 --> 00:08:14,855
Congratulations, mate. Are
they still looking for reps?
184
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,695
You disloyal little shit.
185
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,895
Do I sense some disharmony in the ranks?
186
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,415
Do let me know if you need a few
pointers on how to motivate
187
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,935
a sales team, Sheriff.
188
00:08:23,312 --> 00:08:25,035
From you? Do me a favour.
189
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:28,095
No, my morale boosting end
of week parties are going to
190
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,695
blow your grubby shenanigans
191
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,122
out the water with their decadence,
depravity and...
192
00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:37,553
- Doctors? Daffodils? Dragons?
- Debauchery.
193
00:08:37,579 --> 00:08:39,975
Well, that is lovely to hear cos
I'm expecting you boyses
194
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,935
to throw me a memorable send
off for my leaving do Friday.
195
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,375
- Well... trust me you will not be disappointed.
- I better not be.
196
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:47,896
- Well, you won't be.
- Excellent.
197
00:08:47,922 --> 00:08:49,239
More than excellent, mate.
198
00:08:49,265 --> 00:08:52,516
- You'll probably need to bring a sick bag.
- Why's that?
199
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,972
Because...
200
00:08:54,372 --> 00:08:57,676
I'm taking you on a roller-coaster
ride of sexual thrills.
201
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,195
I'm looking forward to it.
I'll see you Friday.
202
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,094
- You haven't arranged
anything, have you? - No.
203
00:09:08,378 --> 00:09:09,902
I'll say this for Fitzpatrick,
204
00:09:09,928 --> 00:09:12,796
he was putting the hours in
designing his sexy roller-coaster.
205
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:25,069
_
206
00:09:25,909 --> 00:09:27,120
Bingo.
207
00:09:28,076 --> 00:09:32,403
Welcome to the world of magazine
publishing. Morning, boyses.
208
00:09:32,429 --> 00:09:34,425
These lucky pricks don't know it
yet, but in the coming months
209
00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:36,301
I'm going to be leading
them to great things.
210
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:37,997
First and foremost a great tailor.
211
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,598
Fitzpatrick was right, those
suits ARE fucking boring.
212
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:44,080
- He's just in here, Mr Swan.
- Thank you.
213
00:09:47,258 --> 00:09:48,482
Hello, Vincent.
214
00:09:48,508 --> 00:09:53,017
Hello. I didn't get your name
the other day.
215
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:55,471
- Andrew. Andrew Davies.
- That's the one.
216
00:09:55,573 --> 00:09:59,408
Andrew. I thought Martin was
going to be doing the interview.
217
00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:00,652
No.
218
00:10:06,234 --> 00:10:07,895
We didn't get a chance
to chat the other day.
219
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,935
- Well, we may have had a brief
exchange, but... - Did we?
220
00:10:11,103 --> 00:10:13,575
Yes, we did, there was an exchange.
221
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,175
Pffff. It's forgotten. Water under
the bridge. Let's move on.
222
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,095
Absolutely. Let's put it behind us.
223
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,895
Now, Vincent, can I be frank with you?
224
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,562
You can be whoever you want, Andy.
225
00:10:23,213 --> 00:10:26,415
I find this whole concept of
interviewing very flawed.
226
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:30,445
You know, two people sat across
a desk, best foot forward,
227
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:32,570
spinning lie after lie at one another.
228
00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:33,847
It's like being on a blind date.
229
00:10:33,873 --> 00:10:37,110
- Hopefully with less fingering at the end.
- Ha, yeah.
230
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,187
Listen, I'll be completely
straight with you,
231
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,575
if your sales figures and your
references back up what my gut tells
232
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,110
me about you, then this interview is
already two minutes too long.
233
00:10:47,136 --> 00:10:48,711
Well, that's very flattering, Andy.
234
00:10:48,737 --> 00:10:50,688
Maybe there can be
a bit of fingering after all.
235
00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:53,015
Now, Vincent, do you like golf?
236
00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:54,485
- Love the stuff.
- Excellent.
237
00:10:54,511 --> 00:10:56,975
Then what I propose is that we
finish this interview
238
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,439
out on the golf course.
239
00:10:58,587 --> 00:11:01,125
Could you make Saturday,
tee off around nine?
240
00:11:01,151 --> 00:11:02,373
Perfect.
241
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,175
Apologies in advance if
the old competitive beast
242
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,415
comes out on the course.
243
00:11:06,628 --> 00:11:09,047
I've yet to meet a good salesman
who isn't a terrible loser.
244
00:11:09,073 --> 00:11:10,128
Absolutely, boss.
245
00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:12,375
I'm sure I'll turn into a
total cunt out there as well.
246
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,720
I'll see you Saturday.
247
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,615
All right, boyses.
248
00:11:17,838 --> 00:11:20,455
Meanwhile, Fitzpatrick's attempt
at modernising Cachet had hit
249
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,855
a Brummie brick wall.
250
00:11:22,206 --> 00:11:25,455
If it's so bloody clever, why
can't I just say, "Computer,
251
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:29,575
"store these addresses," rather
than all this mumbo jumbo
252
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,695
from the future language.
253
00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:34,409
Because it's the cutting edge
of technology, Carol,
254
00:11:34,435 --> 00:11:36,090
not a genie from a fucking lamp.
255
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:39,095
A lamp in here would be more useful.
It gets very gloomy.
256
00:11:39,121 --> 00:11:40,416
Whether you like it or not,
257
00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:43,468
I'm trying to drag this
operation into the 1980s.
258
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,396
You don't see NASA running
off to a filing cabinet
259
00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:49,220
every time one of their astronauts
says, "Houston, we have a problem."
260
00:11:49,246 --> 00:11:51,301
Because they're completely
comparable operations,
261
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:53,095
NASA and Cachet.
262
00:11:53,284 --> 00:11:55,495
Now, that's a really shite telly.
263
00:11:56,618 --> 00:11:58,393
Carol, love, we need an address
264
00:11:58,419 --> 00:12:00,565
for that bay window front
door job in Tilbury.
265
00:12:00,591 --> 00:12:01,996
I'll get it from the filing cabinet.
266
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,495
No, let's start as we
mean to go on, yeah?
267
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,615
It's on the system. Under Tiernan.
268
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,775
I don't know how to work it.
269
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,392
Oh, come on, get out the way, will ya?
270
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:14,695
Let me demonstrate to you
the power of technology.
271
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,135
We haven't got all day!
272
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,743
All right, hold your horses!
273
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:23,521
Right. So, you press Shift 4.
274
00:12:24,552 --> 00:12:27,935
Then type Tier... nan
275
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,536
into the search field
276
00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:31,654
and...
277
00:12:34,183 --> 00:12:36,895
- It's not worked, has it?
- I'll get it from the filing cabinet.
278
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,080
No, it's all right, I remember...
I mean look it's here.
279
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:45,615
Ah, yeah. It's 78 Romley Avenue.
Write that down for him, Carol.
280
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,295
Why don't you print it out for him?
281
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,295
Because there's no point
wasting ink, is there?
282
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,361
Let's have a look.
283
00:12:51,319 --> 00:12:54,095
Oh, no, must've been a power surge.
284
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,400
I'll just... we'll have to reboot it.
That's a shame.
285
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,135
Anything else, Brendan?
286
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,895
You know Romley Avenue's split
into East and West, don't you?
287
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,666
Really? Well, that's an interesting
story, Terry fucking Wogan.
288
00:13:06,692 --> 00:13:08,412
Well, is it east or is it west?
289
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,735
- Um...
- He'll just check on the computer.
290
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,055
It's West. OK? It's fucking West.
Now can we just move on.
291
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,695
- Come on.
- All right, West. Got it.
292
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,413
Thanks.
293
00:13:22,747 --> 00:13:24,403
Got a mouth on him, hasn't he?
294
00:13:24,606 --> 00:13:26,285
Keep an eye on him, Carol.
295
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,215
Despite not having the first
fucking clue about golf,
296
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,055
it wasn't going to stop
me looking the part.
297
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,575
Or, to be more precise,
298
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,416
looking like a kids' TV presenter
who got dressed in the dark.
299
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,775
Meanwhile, Fitzpatrick was
discovering that new technology
300
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,334
is only ever as reliable as
the fuckwit operating it.
301
00:13:41,994 --> 00:13:43,066
Uh-huh.
302
00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:47,252
No, no, no, they would have done.
303
00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:49,186
No.
304
00:13:50,815 --> 00:13:52,190
I'm looking at the docket now,
305
00:13:52,216 --> 00:13:56,040
it says they were fitted this afternoon.
78 Romley Avenue West.
306
00:13:57,289 --> 00:13:58,391
What?
307
00:14:00,203 --> 00:14:02,138
78 Romley Avenue East?
308
00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:05,240
Yeah. No, that's what I meant.
That's what it says on the docket.
309
00:14:06,987 --> 00:14:09,921
- Bollocks.
- Do you want me to come with you?
310
00:14:10,288 --> 00:14:12,815
What, and have you apologise
the homeowners to death?
311
00:14:12,841 --> 00:14:16,171
No, I'll take care of this.
Fuck them before they fuck us.
312
00:14:22,224 --> 00:14:24,253
I understand, mistakes happen.
313
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:27,376
It's our junior intern. She's first
week. Still very nervous.
314
00:14:27,814 --> 00:14:30,202
Been transferred to the
New York showroom now.
315
00:14:30,228 --> 00:14:35,567
But, as it was wholly our mistake,
I'm very happy to offer you
316
00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:38,940
a generous 15% off the window and door.
317
00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:40,335
But I didn't ask for them.
318
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,105
I'm not paying for something
I didn't ask for.
319
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:46,895
Here we go. Look, I get
it, I'm a businessman.
320
00:14:47,336 --> 00:14:48,855
I admire your brazenness.
321
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,855
- You've seen an opportunity and
you've run with it. - Opportunity?
322
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,575
Yeah. You want free windows.
That's fine, I don't blame ya.
323
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,619
You live here. It's a bit of a shit-hole.
You want to make it look nicer.
324
00:14:59,645 --> 00:15:01,935
Sorry, let me make this very clear.
325
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:04,315
I don't want your horrible windows.
326
00:15:04,411 --> 00:15:06,415
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that before you let
327
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,540
- my fitter install them!
- Well, as it happens,
328
00:15:08,566 --> 00:15:11,015
my nine-year-old daughter
was at home on her own
329
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,495
expecting the window cleaner.
Your fitter called,
330
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,437
said he was here to do the
windows so she let him in.
331
00:15:16,463 --> 00:15:19,212
Your fitter needs to get
his addresses right.
332
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:23,808
Yeah, well, I blame the girl far
more than him, to be honest.
333
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:26,404
I'm picturing her,
I'm picturing an idiot.
334
00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:28,680
Do not call my daughter an idiot.
335
00:15:29,258 --> 00:15:33,335
Right. I'd like you off
my property right now.
336
00:15:33,772 --> 00:15:36,495
That's fine, but my fitter
will be round here tomorrow
337
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,375
to rip out that window.
338
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,440
And, if you resist, I'll have
you arrested for theft.
339
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,478
Do you know what you are?
Classic pikey scum.
340
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:49,295
Pikey scum that wants
something for nothing,
341
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,770
just for sitting on
your fat arse all day.
342
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:56,024
Right. That is it.
I am calling my brother.
343
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,815
I don't think your big brother's
going to make this go away.
344
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,129
Oh, I think he might.
345
00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:08,620
That's all been resolved, then, has it?
346
00:16:08,646 --> 00:16:11,598
I think I've just called
Ronnie Farrell's sister pikey scum.
347
00:16:11,624 --> 00:16:14,079
Ronnie Farrell who runs
Ronnie Farrell Debt Collection?
348
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,215
The one with a conviction
for manslaughter?
349
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,295
No, the other Ronnie Farrell who
works for Amnesty, you daft prick.
350
00:16:20,269 --> 00:16:21,895
Isn't he a bit... dangerous?
351
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,679
He's a fucking lunatic!
352
00:16:24,011 --> 00:16:26,149
And I just called his nine-year-old
niece an idiot.
353
00:16:26,844 --> 00:16:28,135
I'm a dead man, right?
354
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,095
No, I mean gangsters
very rarely take slights
355
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,175
against their family seriously.
356
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,607
Yeah, she's probably bluffing.
357
00:16:40,212 --> 00:16:42,147
Apologise to my sister.
358
00:16:42,173 --> 00:16:45,760
I'm sorry... I'm really sorry.
Ronnie, please!
359
00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:47,417
Aargh!
360
00:16:47,443 --> 00:16:48,938
She keeps the door and window.
361
00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:52,495
Yes, absolutely. Free of charge.
362
00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:55,717
Obviously, free of charge, you tit.
363
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,015
Yeah, I know, I was just clarifying.
364
00:16:59,282 --> 00:17:01,673
Aargh, Ronnie, please...!
365
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,836
Good.
366
00:17:04,862 --> 00:17:07,695
Now that you're being reasonable,
why don't you compose yourself
367
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,074
and we'll start again. OK?
368
00:17:10,427 --> 00:17:12,265
- OK.
- Go and sit down.
369
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,775
What's happening?
370
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,760
I don't know.
371
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,520
Hello.
372
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:33,375
I was in here a moment ago
discussing my sister's windows.
373
00:17:33,908 --> 00:17:35,295
Yeah, I remember.
374
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,295
Well, I just got to thinking,
the new door and window,
375
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,615
they don't match the rest
of the windows in the house.
376
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,895
So, what I was thinking
was maybe you can replace
377
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,629
the rest of the windows as well.
378
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,680
To maintain the aesthetic.
379
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:54,734
Right. And would you be
looking to pay anything
380
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,960
- for these windows, Ronnie?
- What do you think?
381
00:18:00,059 --> 00:18:03,599
So, Maggie can expect someone round
to measure up, what... on Monday?
382
00:18:05,308 --> 00:18:08,372
Monday. Monday's great.
383
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:13,103
Pleasure doing business with you.
384
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,015
I'll be seeing you.
385
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,520
I love your little telly.
386
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,184
Oh, dear, did someone shoot the Sheriff?
387
00:18:30,324 --> 00:18:34,353
Even for a bag of shit like you,
you look like a bag of shit, mate.
388
00:18:34,838 --> 00:18:36,775
Cracking under the
pressure of not being me?
389
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,322
No chance. Just taking
a little breather.
390
00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:43,406
The only thing cracking round
here are sales records.
391
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:46,055
Delighted to hear it.
So tonight's celebrations
392
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,522
- should be one to remember, eh, Lavender?
- Apparently so.
393
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:51,994
They don't call me the postman
for nothing. I always deliver.
394
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,535
You two are going to be wanking
over the memory of tonight's
395
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,375
little treat until the day you both die.
396
00:18:58,759 --> 00:19:00,835
Nice to have my final death wank sorted.
397
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,480
Voilà.
398
00:19:17,498 --> 00:19:20,895
- Have we broken down?
- I think you got the wrong address, Postie.
399
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,639
Think again, boys, because
tonight we're pioneers,
400
00:19:24,709 --> 00:19:28,163
witnessing the start of a
whole new sexual movement.
401
00:19:28,548 --> 00:19:29,694
Dogging.
402
00:19:30,282 --> 00:19:32,082
What the fuck's dogging?
403
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,684
Dogging is the combination
of two revolutions,
404
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:41,975
the motor vehicle revolution
and the sexual revolution,
405
00:19:42,217 --> 00:19:45,135
making the ultimate form
of sexual expression.
406
00:19:45,486 --> 00:19:50,535
You sly old dog. This has the
potential to be interesting.
407
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,335
Fucking hell. Are there people
having sex in these cars?
408
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,760
Yes, if that's all right
with you, Lavender?
409
00:19:56,928 --> 00:19:58,222
What are we doing?
410
00:19:59,675 --> 00:20:01,455
I don't know about you but
I'm going to go and have
411
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,041
a wank over some dirty fuckers
screwing in a car park.
412
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,015
Shit me. Fucking look at that.
413
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,775
Fuck me, they're going for it.
414
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,375
Welcome to the promised land.
415
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,771
Oi, Jimmy Hill, give the fucking
live commentary a rest.
416
00:20:21,797 --> 00:20:24,495
- Oh, my God.
- Fitzpatrick, why have you brought me out
417
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,495
to watch two men fuck?
Is this what you're into?
418
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,735
- It's completely fine if you are, mate.
- Fuck off. I didn't know.
419
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,110
Anyone else want a turn?
420
00:20:31,394 --> 00:20:34,935
Um, no, we, erm... We can't actually.
421
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,893
You see, we're not gay.
422
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:38,975
Why's he got his cock in his hand, then?
423
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,727
Yeah, no, sorry. I don't suppose
you've spotted any females around?
424
00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:45,255
It's not a bloody safari park.
425
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,495
Friday night is gay.
Straight couples on Thursday.
426
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,975
Read the bloody newsletter, love.
427
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,240
Yep. Will do. Sorry about the
mix up, it's a work night out.
428
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,335
Oh, my God. Fitzpatrick
was tugging off to it.
429
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,295
- Fuck off!
- Well, you're gay.
430
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,815
No, I wasn't. Oh, God,
what's he doing now?
431
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,403
- What do you think he's doing?
- He can't do that.
432
00:21:13,429 --> 00:21:17,095
Don't bring us dogging then!
Oh, Christ there's one behind us.
433
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,815
Shit, we're surrounded. Right
let's get moving, Fitzpatrick.
434
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,215
I can't. We're boxed in.
435
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,642
Out the way, gentlemen.
436
00:21:22,668 --> 00:21:23,935
Don't startle them.
437
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,855
- There's more over here.
- I can't get out.
438
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,295
Just move forward slowly
and they'll clear.
439
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,895
They're not fucking deer.
440
00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:32,375
I do hope that was a seagull
that just shit up my window.
441
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,460
There's a gap. Floor it!
Don't look back.
442
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,215
- Drive, drive, drive!
- I am fucking driving!
443
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,423
It was a novel approach to team
building, I'll give him that.
444
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,975
I was soon back in the
countryside, although this time
445
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,055
there was only the one
little prick to deal with.
446
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,135
So, er, what's your handicap, Vincent?
447
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,935
Probably a 9 or a 10.
Comes in waves. But, yeah.
448
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,828
Probably an 8, or a 9, or a 10.
449
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:56,145
Interesting. Is that a brand-new club?
450
00:21:56,475 --> 00:21:58,301
Yeah, never use the same club twice.
451
00:21:58,954 --> 00:22:01,175
Mind if I tee off first?
452
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,560
All right, mate.
453
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,158
What do you reckon?
454
00:22:13,193 --> 00:22:14,953
- Yeah.
- Please.
455
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,160
Great to be back out on the course.
456
00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:26,528
Is that...?
457
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,555
Nah, it's all right.
458
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,712
- Thought I saw someone out there.
- I didn't see anyone.
459
00:22:30,738 --> 00:22:32,895
There definitely was something.
Move out the fucking way!
460
00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:36,653
Vincent, the etiquette in
golf is to shout "Fore."
461
00:22:36,679 --> 00:22:39,005
Yeah. Golf's all about etiquette for me.
462
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,935
Fucking fore!
463
00:22:41,435 --> 00:22:42,621
Where were we?
464
00:22:50,445 --> 00:22:52,811
Fuck's sake. What is it with golf, eh?
465
00:22:53,452 --> 00:22:55,138
Why do we put ourselves through it?
466
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:12,217
There she is, the old lady.
467
00:23:13,474 --> 00:23:14,714
Lovely.
468
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,713
Bollocks.
469
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,360
Get in the fucking hole.
470
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,721
Get in!
471
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,775
I think that means, taking into
account your handicap...
472
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,344
I think that means I've
won by 18 holes to none.
473
00:23:45,747 --> 00:23:47,609
I don't mind saying the better man won.
474
00:23:50,738 --> 00:23:52,662
There you are, boss.
Until the next time.
475
00:23:52,753 --> 00:23:55,815
- My pleasure. And I'm not your boss.
- Not yet but...
476
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,937
- Not ever. You'll never work for me.
- What?
477
00:24:00,124 --> 00:24:01,389
Is this a joke?
478
00:24:01,454 --> 00:24:05,185
No, you're the joke, Vincent.
I know what you are.
479
00:24:05,621 --> 00:24:08,254
I've spoken to people who've been
exposed to your men's methods.
480
00:24:08,435 --> 00:24:09,735
You're con-men.
481
00:24:09,975 --> 00:24:12,202
Yes, all right, you've
had a good few months.
482
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:13,986
But it won't last.
483
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,735
You're selling a worthless product
for as much money as you can,
484
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,836
as quickly as you can. And sooner
or later people will find out.
485
00:24:20,398 --> 00:24:22,775
You're not proper businessmen,
you're not salesmen.
486
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,210
You're hustlers. You're fairground
workers in shiny suits,
487
00:24:26,236 --> 00:24:28,308
selling a product as
worthless as you are.
488
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:30,092
Is this because I called
you a little prick?
489
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,631
Maybe.
490
00:24:32,334 --> 00:24:35,166
Anyway, now that our
interview's over, I'm afraid
491
00:24:35,471 --> 00:24:37,055
I'm going to have to kindly
ask you to leave,
492
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,255
since I don't think you are or ever
will be a member of this club.
493
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,579
That's all right, mate,
I'll gladly leave.
494
00:24:46,712 --> 00:24:49,935
Like Groucho Marx said,
"I refuse to join a golf club
495
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,935
"that would have you, a fucking
little prick, as a member."
496
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,535
That's not the quote, actually.
497
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,640
Fuck off.
498
00:25:00,339 --> 00:25:03,559
I don't know what to say.
You were right.
499
00:25:04,662 --> 00:25:06,102
I've let you all down.
500
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,095
Right, here's what you're going to do.
501
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:14,055
You're going to go back to Walshy,
and ask him for your job back.
502
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,817
- You might have to start a rung down..
- I can't, Sam.
503
00:25:17,843 --> 00:25:19,575
It won't be for long, will it?
504
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,575
Fitzpatrick will be lucky if he gets
another week as showroom manager.
505
00:25:22,881 --> 00:25:24,333
I don't think I can do it.
506
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,357
Vincent, look at me.
507
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,935
No-one believes in you more
than you do, baby. Right?
508
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,215
There's always going to be
a Walshy or a little prick
509
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,495
trying to fuck you over,
but you're better than them.
510
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:38,855
That's why I married you.
511
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,473
You old romantic.
512
00:25:40,841 --> 00:25:43,856
- I thought it was cos I got you pregnant.
- Yeah, there was that.
513
00:25:44,205 --> 00:25:49,495
You are incredible. I thought
you were going to leave me.
514
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,295
Well, it's hard to be mad at you
when you're wearing
515
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,975
- those tight white trousers.
- I do look a bit like John Travolta, eh?
516
00:25:55,105 --> 00:25:57,215
- More like Bucks Fizz.
- Sexier then.
517
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,443
Oh, yeah.
518
00:25:59,368 --> 00:26:01,495
Now, do you think you've got
time for a quick birdie
519
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,335
- before the kids get back?
- Oh, we can do better than that.
520
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,915
How about a hole in one?
521
00:26:07,060 --> 00:26:10,939
- Or I could plop my balls in your...
- All right don't spoil it.
522
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,055
Here we go. I don't think
523
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,260
my gag reflex will let me
swallow this much pride.
524
00:26:20,027 --> 00:26:21,442
You wanted to see me, Vincent.
525
00:26:21,468 --> 00:26:23,175
I want to get one thing
straight from the start.
526
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,215
Yeah, hold on, hold on.
527
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,111
Before you say anything you
might regret, come with me.
528
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:35,686
Ta-dah. Ford Granada LX.
Top-of-the-range. Your company car.
529
00:26:35,712 --> 00:26:38,465
Really? I think you've forgotten
I don't work here any more.
530
00:26:38,491 --> 00:26:42,427
Come on, don't milk it.
This is me saying sorry.
531
00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:45,095
I need you back, Vincent.
532
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:48,655
Fitzpatrick's taken us from
selling 50 grand a week to zero.
533
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,676
Minus four grand if you include
Carol's fucking unusable computer.
534
00:26:52,754 --> 00:26:55,915
Well, you're on the right lines, Walshy.
535
00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:57,935
But you better make it a BMW
536
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,495
or I'll never set foot in
your poxy showroom again.
537
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,705
- Oh, fucking hell, Vincent!
- Call it danger money.
538
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,495
Carol told me you've got that psycho
Ronnie Farrell on your case.
539
00:27:06,765 --> 00:27:11,034
OK. I'll call the leasing company
and get you a BMW,
540
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:12,895
but you better get us out
of this hole with Ronnie.
541
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,015
I can't afford to be giving away
five grand's worth of windows.
542
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,519
Leave Ronnie to me.
543
00:27:18,211 --> 00:27:20,695
I quickly managed to get
Ronnie Farrell onside by making him
544
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,455
an offer he couldn't refuse.
545
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,895
- So you've sorted it with Farrell?
- Yeah, you can stop
546
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,535
shitting your pants now.
He's not going to hurt anyone.
547
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,655
- How did you do that?
- Let's just say we came to a compromise.
548
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,815
Great. What's the compromise?
549
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,482
I told him he can have
the windows for free.
550
00:27:34,508 --> 00:27:38,442
What?! Why have you done that?
551
00:27:38,468 --> 00:27:40,295
Because he's an incredibly
violent, dangerous man.
552
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,655
But that's going to cost
me five fucking grand!
553
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,974
You should have thought about that
554
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,913
before you put Fitzpatrick
in charge, you stupid prick.
555
00:27:47,048 --> 00:27:49,094
Let that be a valuable lesson to you.
556
00:27:50,997 --> 00:27:52,447
You need to talk to him!
557
00:27:52,473 --> 00:27:54,295
I did get one concession from Ronnie.
558
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,295
Turns out as an eminent local
businessman and being neither
559
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,095
female, foreign or Jewish, Ronnie
was a big wig at the golf club.
560
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:02,015
For the price of one "nice little telly"
561
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,735
I managed to wrangle membership.
562
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,535
Now, golfers often say the toughest
opponent you can face
563
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:07,928
on the course is yourself.
564
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,535
Oi! Stop getting in the way you wanker!
565
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,114
Hurry up, bell ends!
566
00:28:14,596 --> 00:28:16,855
Well, every Saturday morning
from now until I eventually
567
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,055
get banned from this place,
568
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,230
I'm going to be this little prick's
toughest opponent.
569
00:28:23,712 --> 00:28:25,375
Fucking fore!
47296
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