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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:53,678 清朝康熙初年，皇帝因年幼未能親政 2 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:57,098 故委任四位顧命大臣輔佐少主 3 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,601 其中以鰲拜最為兇狠 4 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,895 上則挾天子，以令諸侯 5 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,814 下則屢興文字獄，殘殺漢人 6 00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:08,735 以致八旗大臣及民間俠士 都對其極為痛恨 7 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,571 尤其天地會盟主陳近南 8 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,532 無時無刻都想消滅這個大奸臣 9 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:35,947 有殺氣 10 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,722 稟告大人，是天地會的反賊 11 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:08,855 旗手 12 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,741 -大人神功蓋世，天下無敵！ -大人神功蓋世，天下無敵！ 13 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,454 天地會反賊不自量力 簡直就是自尋死路 14 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,415 马上傳令全力緝拿反賊頭子陳近南 15 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,667 -遵命！ -遵命！ 16 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,389 奴才海大富叩見皇上 17 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,433 平身 18 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,434 喳 19 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,320 七旗旗主的事辦妥了嗎？ 20 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,865 七位旗主吩咐奴才回稟皇上 21 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,284 他們一定準時到達麗春院 22 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,704 你對此事有何看法？ 23 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,039 皇上 24 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,000 鰲拜替正白旗撐腰 25 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,127 欺壓七旗貴族 26 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,338 七旗旗主早存怨恨 27 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,257 只不過畏於鰲拜爪牙眾多 28 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,759 不敢輕舉妄動 29 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,720 而這次有皇上肯委屈萬金之軀 30 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,849 聯同七位旗主於宮外 秘密商議對付鰲拜的策略 31 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,060 七位旗主深感聖恩 32 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,023 這一次事關重大 33 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,818 況且朕這次微服出巡 34 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,487 與七位旗主在宮外秘密商議 35 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,947 在煙花之地出現 36 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,532 終究不是一件體面的事 37 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,827 你要記住 38 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,329 除了你與七旗旗主之外 39 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,873 事後知道此事的人一律處斬 40 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,834 朕已經長大成人 41 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,128 不希望再像傀儡一樣任人擺佈 42 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,754 皇上英明 43 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,803 大爺，上來吧 44 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,638 -上來吧 -上來聊聊天吧 45 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,350 -沒隔壁的興旺啊，你看看 -走開吧 46 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,482 -你看看上面的姑娘多漂亮 -是蠻漂亮的 47 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,530 樓上樓下的姑娘，出來見客了 48 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,575 走開，別妨礙人家聽故事 49 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:31,492 各位觀眾 50 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,538 謝謝各位湊得這麼近 站得這麼直來聽我說書 51 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,998 真是太給面子了 52 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:41,627 今天要說的人物 就是天地會的總舵主陳近南 53 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:46,007 正所謂：“平生不見陳近南 便稱英雄也枉然” 54 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:47,925 他身高兩米 55 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,052 腰圍也是兩米 56 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,721 -那豈不是四方了嗎？ -是啊… 57 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,264 四方就四方，你不相信？ 58 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,726 一種米養百種人 我告訴你，八角型的都有 59 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,190 他武功的名堂 60 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:07,445 稱之為九天十地菩薩 搖頭怕怕，霹靂金光雷電掌 61 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,364 一掌打出 62 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,075 方圓百里之內 63 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,580 不論人畜、蝦蟹、跳蚤都會化成飛灰 64 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,834 這麼厲害？ 65 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,921 不過這個人行蹤不定，飄忽無蹤 66 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:30,343 但是我在機緣巧合之下 曾經見過他半面 67 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:34,138 要麼就見過，要麼就沒見過 哪有只見半面的？ 68 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,056 就是啊 69 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,975 因為他就是遮住半邊臉，傻瓜 70 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,188 沒聽過“猶抱琵琶半遮面”嗎？ 71 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,106 呆子，你沒讀過書嗎？ 72 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,317 笑什麼？ 73 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,652 笑什麼？ 74 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:52,448 雖然我只見過他半邊臉 但是一見傾心 75 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:56,202 我很快的就斬雞頭、燒黃紙 跟他結拜為兄弟了 76 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,954 你閉嘴！ 77 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,374 你這個臭小子只顧著在這說書 害得他們都不召妓了！ 78 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:05,169 是他們自願圍在這聽我說書 而不願意召妓的 79 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,880 而且召妓有害健康，是件好事啊 80 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:08,923 還說是好事？ 81 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,509 你姐姐也是妓女，沒人召她就吃屎了 82 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,136 吃屎有益身心，還是留給你好了 83 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,805 你叫我吃屎？我這就搞定你 84 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,602 -謝謝你，瞎子 -怎麼這麼想不開？ 85 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,854 對不起，這位大爺千萬別見怪 86 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,982 -臭小子，給我下來 -你先向我道歉 87 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,400 要我道歉？欠扁嗎？ 88 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,151 不好了！有人縮陽了！ 89 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,821 快找人來看看他，有人縮陽了！ 90 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,072 有人縮陽了 91 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,699 快叫我姐姐 92 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:35,741 誰是你姐姐？ 93 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,536 京城房事狀元，天下第一美人韋春花 94 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,509 不好意思 95 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,682 這種煙花之地，真是混亂不堪 96 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,350 此地不宜久留 97 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,853 七位旗主已在裡邊等我們了 98 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,611 就是他，就是他縮陽了 99 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,195 怎麼縮啊？我來瞧瞧 100 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,576 喂，你縮到哪裡去了？ 101 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:20,620 喂，他死了沒？ 102 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,413 死了就把他丟出去，不要弄髒這裡 103 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,999 誰縮陽啊？哪會那麼容易死？ 104 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,251 是肥佬精，死不死就不知道了 105 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,129 這個簡單，把他抬起來 106 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,047 幹什麼？ 107 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,798 就憑我韋春花多年來的經驗 108 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:33,966 如果男人一縮陽 109 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,135 只要拿髮釵往他尾椎大穴戳下去 110 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,012 就會彈回出來了 111 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,055 把他的屁股抬起來 112 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:50,816 差點被它打到 113 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,736 沒戲看了…下去吧… 114 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,907 -讓開！ -讓開！ 115 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,367 -閃邊去！ -讓開！ 116 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,618 站邊去！ 117 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,287 -幹什麼啊？ -全部人別動！ 118 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:06,082 我們是來捉拿天地會反賊陳近南的 119 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,041 搜！ 120 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,167 -是！ -搜！ 121 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,546 -參見皇上 -參見皇上 122 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,131 -喂，出來 -幹嘛啊？ 123 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,549 -快！ -外面怎麼了？ 124 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,010 回皇上，是鰲拜的人 125 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,553 四大高手都到齊了 126 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,680 是不是來找朕的？ 127 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:22,973 -過來！ -相信不是 128 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,184 -幹嘛？ -幹嘛啊？怎麼那麼多人？ 129 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,477 -什麼事啊？ -幹嘛要攔著我們啊？ 130 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,312 -我也不知道啊 -有誰知道陳近南在哪裡？ 131 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,855 -他！ -他！ 132 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,565 大哥，我說書而已 133 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,733 抓他回去嚴刑拷問 134 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,485 不得濫殺無辜 135 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,781 陳近南在此 136 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,995 陳近南？ 137 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,631 周堂主，有機會先走 138 00:11:58,634 --> 00:11:59,718 總舵主， 139 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,513 這幾個狗賊還沒有資格 讓我們落荒而逃 140 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,723 你看到沒？ 141 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,267 好厲害啊 142 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,518 你還說？ 143 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,854 別傷到小孩 144 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,399 跟我走 145 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:19,363 糟了 146 00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:30,040 別怕，我是來救你的 147 00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,136 大俠，請跟我來 148 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,681 -鑽進去 -鑽什麼？ 149 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:46,765 狗洞 150 00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:48,976 要我陳近南鑽狗洞？不行 151 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,102 他們看著我把你救出來 152 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,021 肯定想不到我們一掉頭又鑽回去了 153 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,356 大丈夫能屈能伸，留著小命最要緊 154 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,941 快點，來吧 155 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,077 青木堂主怎麼樣了？ 156 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,579 死了 157 00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,624 我去弄點水來幫你洗一下眼睛 158 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:12,666 不行 159 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,253 石灰碰到水就會發熱 會燒傷我的眼睛 160 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,380 -那怎麼辦？ -要用菜油來擦 161 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,007 好，我到廚房去拿 162 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,010 這位大人… 163 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:25,971 什麼事？ 164 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:30,684 在下海大富，宮中敬事房首領太監 165 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,479 原來是海公公，失敬 166 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,066 皇上有聖諭在此 167 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:44,740 皇上有令，馬上撤走所有兵馬 168 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,075 是 169 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,954 就決定聯手對付鰲拜 170 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:50,996 -喳 -喳 171 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,831 -海公公 -皇上 172 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,708 -外邊怎樣了？ -兵馬已經撤退 173 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,293 皇上可以馬上回宮 174 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,087 好 175 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,215 大人有令，令我們馬上撤兵 176 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,633 好，知道了 177 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,134 撤 178 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,520 喂… 179 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,772 外面的官兵都走光了 180 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:18,607 那我也告辭了 181 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,819 你走沒關係，但要記得把他一塊帶走 182 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,822 因為大家都看見是他救了你 183 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,450 免得官兵日後回來找我們碴 184 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:32,162 陳大俠，我很崇拜你 185 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,039 不如你就收我為徒，好嗎？ 186 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,541 收你？ 187 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,543 他救了你一命，你不用報答他嗎？ 188 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,044 -話是不是這麼說？ -是啊 189 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,547 就算你不帶他走，我也會趕他走 190 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,591 省得他連累我們 191 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,758 是吧？ 192 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,428 加入天地會是一件很危險的事 193 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:48,804 你不會後悔？ 194 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,724 不如這樣 195 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,059 你教我絕世武功，我就不會怕了 196 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,186 你叫什麼名字？ 197 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,271 我叫韋小寶 198 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,230 好 199 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,648 我就收你為徒 200 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,734 你跟我回天地會總壇 201 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,652 謝謝… 202 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,562 斬過雞頭 203 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,772 燒過黃紙 204 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,440 歃血為盟之後 205 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,276 韋小寶你就是我們天地會的兄弟 206 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,695 暫時編入青木堂 207 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,407 我們有10大會規，20大守則 208 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:53,911 30大戒條，80小戒條 209 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,330 如果犯了其中一條 210 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,082 就算你是我的徒弟 211 00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,793 也要身受九九八十一刀而死 212 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,295 不用那麼費力，我一刀就死了 213 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,464 不要亂說話，起來 214 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,635 青木堂堂主慘死在鰲拜爪牙的手上 215 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,762 我們一定要貫徹他的遺志 216 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,347 誅殺鰲拜這個奸賊 217 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:17,810 同時，將滿清皇帝 跟所有的清狗趕出關外 218 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,395 復我大明江山 219 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,438 -反清復明！ -反清復明！ 220 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,733 -反清復明！ -反清復明！ 221 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,071 現在我有一個極為危險的任務 222 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,200 希望能有兄弟自願擔任 223 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,619 -是什麼啊？ -什麼任務啊？ 224 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,704 你去吧 225 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,040 我查到清宮裡有四本《四十二章經》 226 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,292 裡面記載了清廷在關外 227 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,378 收藏一個大寶藏的秘密 228 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,423 如果我們能夠知道這個大寶藏的秘密 229 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,008 我們就可以取回 230 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,844 清廷在大明江山所搜刮的民脂民膏 231 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,972 而且還可以切斷他們的龍脈 232 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:59,059 龍脈一斷，那清狗的氣數就已盡 233 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,854 而我們大明江山就指日可復 234 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:06,400 所以我想派人入宮偷這幾本經書 235 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,986 但是我知道這個任務非常危險 236 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,779 是九死一生 237 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,949 有誰不想去的，就坐下 238 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,454 -喂，一人一半吧 -你去那邊吧 239 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,132 小寶 240 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,551 沒想到你一加入本會 241 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,094 就想立此大功 242 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,555 好，為師成全你 243 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,140 是…不過實情是這樣的 244 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,099 那張椅子… 245 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:40,726 大丈夫一言九鼎 246 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,561 你知不知道背信棄義 247 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,314 是犯了本會會規第八條 要斬一手一腳的？ 248 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,941 這裡是天地會還是整人會？ 249 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,151 跟我進來 250 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,949 小寶，你是個聰明人 251 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,410 那我可以用聰明的方法跟你說話 252 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,037 然外邊的人就不行 253 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,039 我不明白 254 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:07,294 讀過書、明事理的人 大多數已經在清廷裡面當官了 255 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,797 所以如果我們要對抗清廷 256 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,840 就只能用一些蠢一點的人 257 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,635 對付那些蠢人 就絕不可以跟他們說真話 258 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,554 得用宗教形式來催眠他們 259 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:20,015 讓他們覺得所做的事都是對的 260 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,726 所以“反清復明”只是個口號 261 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,062 跟“阿彌陀佛”其實是一樣的 262 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,690 清朝一直欺壓我們漢人 263 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,692 搶走我們的銀兩和女人 264 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,069 所以我們要反清… 265 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,988 要反清來搶回那些錢和女人，是吧？ 266 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,866 復不復明根本是多餘，關人什麼事 267 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,868 行了，大家聰明人，了解 268 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:40,828 繼續 269 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,454 總之，如果成功的話 270 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,498 你就有無數的銀兩和女人 271 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,083 你願不願意去？ 272 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,000 願意 273 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,712 只是你剛說“九死一生” 那句話太嚇人了 274 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,714 我可以傳授你絕世武功 275 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,636 這麼大一本，我看要練一個月 276 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,638 這本只不過是絕世武功的目錄 277 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,974 那一堆才是絕世武功的秘笈 278 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:06,854 用看的也得看一年啊 279 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,940 我是看了三年，練了三十年 280 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,775 才有今天的境界 281 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:12,985 30年？ 282 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,403 那我有多少時間練？ 283 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,320 一晚 284 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,240 還有一晚的時間練 285 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,117 那還是九死一生啊 286 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,034 不是 287 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,870 看了就九死一生 288 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,538 不看就十死無生 289 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,668 幹什麼？ 290 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,129 你現在去臥底 以後一定會遇上自己人 291 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,589 我要幫你做個記號 292 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,592 在你的腳底刺上“反清復明”四個字 293 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,761 輕一點，喂… 294 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,889 不行了… 295 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,560 “清明”？ 296 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:47,728 把另一隻腳拿來 297 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,645 還來？ 298 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,730 晚一點吧 299 00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,940 那兩個字我自己刺就行了，好嗎？ 300 00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,359 那你別忘記啊 301 00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:57,070 要不然將來死在自己人的手裡 302 00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,614 那就不值了 303 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,910 小寶，你明天進宮應徵當雜役 304 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,703 我們會有人接應你 305 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,039 暗號就是眨眼 306 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,668 人龍這麼長，輪到我時我早掛了 307 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,381 這邊怎麼沒人排隊？ 308 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,009 老哥，這裡也是招募處嗎？ 309 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,052 是…進去吧 310 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,011 好，謝謝 311 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,939 這是什麼床啊？很不穩固的嗎？ 312 00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:33,315 怎麼要綁啊？ 313 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,817 當太監當然要閹了 314 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,861 要閹當然要綁起來 315 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:38,904 誰要當太監？ 316 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,489 當然是你了，難道是我嗎？ 317 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,740 你媽才當太監 318 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,242 我是來應徵當雜役的 319 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,202 上邊急需人用 320 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,287 很有前途的 321 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,580 還有 322 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,124 閹掉以後有很多好處的 323 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,668 喂，自己人 324 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:53,835 別開玩笑了 325 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,545 誰跟你開玩笑？ 326 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:57,756 有沒有搞錯啊？ 327 00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,424 我真的只是來應徵當雜役的 328 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,802 這樣吧，你讓我出去 我到隔壁重新排隊好了 329 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:02,844 打擾了 330 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,098 總之，你進來了就不能出去 331 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:09,268 算了，將錯就錯，把他按住 332 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,894 -刀下留“雞” -救命啊！ 333 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,313 先不要閹 334 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:16,149 海公公，這…怎麼行？ 335 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,359 為什麼不行？ 336 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,028 閹了起碼要兩個月才能走路 337 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,947 但是我現在馬上要用人 338 00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:23,365 交給我 339 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:25,075 讓我帶他回宮 340 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,452 有機會才在宮裡幫他淨身 341 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,079 那… 342 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:30,747 那什麼？還不鬆綁？ 343 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,542 不好意思，一場誤會 344 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,169 瞎子，你很面熟啊 345 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,337 有機會一起吃宵夜 346 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,090 -別… -還想跑？ 347 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:41,967 小桂子 348 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,969 幫他把衣服換下 349 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:45,512 還有 350 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,348 宮裡不可以用真實姓名 351 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,101 以後我就叫你小春子 352 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,353 -走 -不要叫春好不好？ 353 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,274 小春子 354 00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:00,527 禁宮裡守衛森嚴 355 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,447 五步一崗，十步一哨 356 00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:06,199 所以無論日夜，你都不能亂走 357 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,160 要不會砍頭的，你知道嗎？ 358 00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:26,970 你很害怕嗎？ 359 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,638 沒有 360 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,849 那幹嘛夾著我？ 361 00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,394 我以為你喜歡這樣，對不起 362 00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,645 小桂子 363 00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:37,606 -掌燈 -喳 364 00:22:51,369 --> 00:22:52,412 幹什麼？ 365 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:54,122 這邊啊，公公 366 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,583 沒有，我在欣賞你的墨晶眼鏡 367 00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:57,584 蠻不錯啊 368 00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:58,710 你懂得欣賞嗎？ 369 00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,003 一點點 370 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,256 不過以公公如此英俊挺拔 371 00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:04,549 氣宇不凡 372 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,135 當太監還會長鬍子，這麼有突破性 373 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:09,429 不必戴眼鏡也夠酷了 374 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,764 小春子，你是在取笑我嗎？ 375 00:23:10,847 --> 00:23:11,765 小人不敢 376 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,186 我這撮鬍子是假的 377 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:24,236 太監是一個不完整的男人 378 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,154 這撮假鬍子 379 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:29,616 可以讓我找回一點自尊心 380 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,286 你又要幹什麼？ 381 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,122 公公 382 00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:38,291 玻璃瓶裡裝著一坨一坨的是什麼？ 383 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:39,417 鞭！ 384 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:40,669 鞭？ 385 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,338 第一瓶是鹿鞭 386 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,968 第二瓶是虎鞭 387 00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:52,180 第三瓶是牛鞭 388 00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:56,893 第四瓶一定是大象鞭 389 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:57,853 不是 390 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:00,605 是人鞭 391 00:24:01,064 --> 00:24:03,567 是我淨身時切下來的寶貝 392 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:07,612 原來你的也這麼大 393 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,322 我還以為就我有 394 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:12,701 今早擦瓶子時擺錯了 395 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,412 那瓶才是，這瓶是蘿蔔 396 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,706 我看看 397 00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:22,335 怎麼什麼都看不到？ 398 00:24:23,503 --> 00:24:24,963 用這個看得比較清楚 399 00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:30,594 看到了 400 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:33,221 好精緻啊 401 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,640 我一歲就淨身 402 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,350 算很了不起了 403 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,312 幫你淨身那位更了不起 404 00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:41,646 他眼力真好 405 00:24:42,939 --> 00:24:45,775 每個人的寶貝都是放在寶貝房 406 00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:49,571 我的寶貝因為怕會不見 所以放在這裡 407 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,616 公公請放心，我會幫你看緊的 408 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:53,909 糟糕 409 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:55,952 想尿尿 410 00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:00,457 公公 411 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,001 你尿尿是站著還是蹲著？ 412 00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:04,002 你說什麼？ 413 00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:08,006 我看你是趴著尿 414 00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:14,095 尿尿也要排隊？我才不管呢 415 00:25:15,722 --> 00:25:18,308 朋友，一起尿不介意吧？ 416 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:27,692 尿尿尿到七孔流血 你也算是古今第一人了 417 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,380 小春子 418 00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:50,507 你練的是什麼武功？ 419 00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:53,009 怎麼這麼厲害？練到辮子也翹起來了 420 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,304 -裡… -裡面什麼？ 421 00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,974 -很多… -很多死屍 422 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,350 你怎麼知道的？ 423 00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:04,562 你又怎知道我辮子翹起來了？ 424 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,107 我用眼睛看的 425 00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:09,276 你不是瞎子嗎？ 426 00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:11,111 是誰告訴你我瞎了？ 427 00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:12,529 沒人說過 428 00:26:14,447 --> 00:26:17,367 要不是我身邊的小太監全都死光 429 00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,788 今晚我絕不會破例 沒讓你淨身就帶你進宮 430 00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:27,419 今晚你就跟小桂子潛入太后的寢宮 431 00:26:28,461 --> 00:26:30,588 幫我找一樣很重要的東西回來 432 00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:32,132 公公，求公公饒命！ 433 00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:35,343 每位兄弟去過太后寢宮後 隔天早上都會死在御花園裡 434 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:36,761 全身經脈凍得結成冰 435 00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,389 求公公饒過小桂子，公公饒命啊！ 436 00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,226 你別這麼沒膽量 437 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,894 我這新來的尚可不去 438 00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:48,440 你怎麼說也在這裡待這麼久了 還想賴皮，那就太說不通了 439 00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:49,357 公公，請你放心 440 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,109 我去勸服他，讓他待會一個人去 441 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:55,405 喂，說真的，你不去我就扁你 442 00:26:57,324 --> 00:27:00,243 公公，我受傷了，要請兩天病假休息 443 00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:01,703 晚上想去也不行了 444 00:27:04,205 --> 00:27:05,332 小桂子 445 00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:09,294 你以為這樣就能躲過 我的獨門絕招了嗎？ 446 00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:11,755 去也是死，不去也是死 怎麼說我也要拼一拼了 447 00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:25,143 化骨綿掌！ 448 00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:33,526 還跑？ 449 00:27:33,985 --> 00:27:35,528 不過公公，你不用生氣 450 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:38,656 隔了這麼遠還能一掌把他擊中 實在是不錯了 451 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,533 我想你的功力還在我之上 452 00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:45,038 怎麼了？ 453 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:03,890 怎樣？ 454 00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:07,852 化骨綿掌？ 455 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,938 我剛剛拍你的這兩掌也是 456 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,902 想不到啊… 457 00:28:29,457 --> 00:28:30,375 你幹什麼？ 458 00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:33,044 我中了化骨綿掌，骨頭正在融化啊 459 00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:36,131 你剛才中的，是慢性化骨綿掌而已 460 00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:37,298 慢性？ 461 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:39,300 自己看看你的左手 462 00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:46,850 這條綠氣一過了手肘 463 00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:49,936 你就會全身骨骼盡碎而死 464 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:52,397 不過起碼還有一個月的時間 465 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,900 公公，我跟你無怨無仇 你為什麼要這樣害我？ 466 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,573 只要你乖乖到太后寢宮 幫我找些東西回來 467 00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:04,284 到時候，我自然會幫你化解 468 00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:05,660 慘了，又中掌了！ 469 00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:07,203 這些都不是 470 00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:10,832 你到底要我幫你拿什麼東西啊？ 471 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,293 拿《四十二章經》 472 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,503 《四十二章經》？ 473 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:16,880 別多說 474 00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,006 馬上上去 475 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,093 別怕 476 00:29:23,970 --> 00:29:26,222 下面就是太后的寢宮，慈寧宮 477 00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:28,767 這個時候，她一定是去了坤和殿禮佛 478 00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:31,519 起碼要一個時辰才回來 你有足夠的時間 479 00:29:31,728 --> 00:29:34,105 偷到經書後，馬上拿回來給我 480 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:37,066 萬一她突然回來怎麼辦？ 481 00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:38,651 我會暗中保護你 482 00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:40,528 -下去 -這麼高，怎麼下去？ 483 00:29:41,070 --> 00:29:42,405 我用掌力送你一程 484 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,364 放心 485 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,492 -沒事的 -喂… 486 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:52,916 真的沒事啊 487 00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:54,876 喂… 488 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,003 意外而已 489 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:18,233 -恭迎太后御駕回宮 -恭迎太后御駕回宮 490 00:30:19,275 --> 00:30:20,443 怎麼這麼快？ 491 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,257 太后還蠻有氣勢的 492 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:46,928 太后，既然鳳體違和 請容奴婢為太后寬衣就寢 493 00:30:56,437 --> 00:30:58,273 長得怎這麼難應付？ 494 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,983 讓我來吧… 495 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:18,543 脫 496 00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:22,589 脫 497 00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:03,004 原來太后也會武功啊 498 00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:17,685 不會吧？這麼容易就找到了？ 499 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:19,479 喂 500 00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:23,816 你這個死小太監，偷東西？ 501 00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:27,779 你叫什麼名啊？ 502 00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:29,948 你竟不認識我？ 503 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:31,366 新來的？ 504 00:32:31,532 --> 00:32:32,450 是啊 505 00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:34,202 先生，怎麼稱呼啊？ 506 00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:35,745 先生？ 507 00:32:37,372 --> 00:32:39,207 你認為我是先生嗎？ 508 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:41,292 莫非你也是太監？ 509 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:43,670 是啊 510 00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,297 那就別鬧了，自己人，拿回來吧 511 00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:48,091 不給 512 00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:51,844 你不給我，我只好扁你了 513 00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,515 現在你給我，我也要扁你了 514 00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:57,600 你這個王八蛋 515 00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,811 -我要殺了你這個混蛋，我要殺… -哥！ 516 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:01,187 -救命啊！ -你別跑！ 517 00:33:02,188 --> 00:33:03,189 哥！ 518 00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:04,565 沒事，意外而已 519 00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:06,192 別跑！站住！ 520 00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,071 哥，救命啊！ 521 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:11,197 -有人追我！ -建寧 522 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,240 哥！ 523 00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,616 喂，你是誰啊？ 524 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,534 不關你的事 525 00:33:14,617 --> 00:33:15,451 什麼事？ 526 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,745 喂，別以為你們有兩個人，我就會怕 527 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:19,122 你最好快把東西拿下來給我 528 00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:21,457 -你有種就上來 -妳為什麼跟他發生爭執？ 529 00:33:21,624 --> 00:33:23,501 他是哪個管事太監的手下？ 530 00:33:24,168 --> 00:33:26,504 讓我告訴他的上司，叫他處罰他 531 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:29,424 不要啊，這個太監傻傻的 532 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,676 他真以為你跟我也是太監 533 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:32,927 不會那麼傻吧？ 534 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:33,886 還有啊 535 00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:36,764 平時大家看到我們就怕得像鵪鶉一樣 536 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:37,974 但是他不會 537 00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:39,767 他打我的時候是來真的 538 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:42,020 使盡全力地打的 539 00:33:43,938 --> 00:33:45,273 有種就上來 540 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:46,858 這就上來扁你 541 00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:51,029 一定是有機關，我才沒那麼笨 542 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:53,990 你是男人就下來打一場 543 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:54,991 你很喜歡打架嗎？ 544 00:33:55,074 --> 00:33:57,910 不是我很喜歡打架 只是有很多人喜歡被我打 545 00:33:58,244 --> 00:33:59,078 好 546 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:08,838 你想怎麼打？ 547 00:34:08,963 --> 00:34:10,631 我打架有三大原則 548 00:34:10,798 --> 00:34:12,592 第一，不准打我的臉 549 00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:14,635 第二，只准打你的臉 550 00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,513 狡猾小太監 551 00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:29,901 暫停 552 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,110 又想耍詐？ 553 00:34:31,277 --> 00:34:32,570 那人偷走了我的經書 554 00:34:32,653 --> 00:34:34,739 你叫他還給我，我就再跟你打 555 00:34:36,282 --> 00:34:37,116 很痛 556 00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:38,993 妳是不是拿了人家東西？ 557 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:40,953 沒有，誰拿他東西了？ 558 00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,455 快點打他，打他吧 559 00:34:42,538 --> 00:34:43,915 你拿在手上還敢說沒有？ 560 00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:45,792 告訴你 561 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,502 我回去搬救兵你就知道 562 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,836 我師父武功蓋世 563 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,880 打個噴嚏也會讓你七孔流血 564 00:34:51,297 --> 00:34:52,298 你師父是誰？ 565 00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:54,717 就是平生不見陳… 566 00:34:55,343 --> 00:34:56,177 公公 567 00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:59,388 便稱英雄也枉然的海大富，海公公 568 00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:01,849 -海大富是你師父？ -怕了吧？ 569 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,186 怕到笑了吧？ 570 00:35:06,896 --> 00:35:08,356 喂，是不是很好玩？ 571 00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:11,067 是好玩，不過就是功夫差了點 572 00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:12,902 我看這樣… 573 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:19,158 喂 574 00:35:19,242 --> 00:35:20,535 不用寫信道歉了 575 00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:23,204 總之你隨便投降 把經書還給我就算了 576 00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:26,457 今天到此為止，明天才再跟你玩 577 00:35:26,624 --> 00:35:28,084 如果你明天能打贏我的話 578 00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,710 我就把這本經書還給你 579 00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:31,671 另外再送給你一本 580 00:35:31,754 --> 00:35:32,839 你也有一本？ 581 00:35:32,922 --> 00:35:34,173 當然有了 582 00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:36,384 悶得要命，都不知道要來幹嘛 583 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:39,387 哥 584 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:49,730 太后寢宮竟然有一個武功與年紀 都跟你差不多的小太監？ 585 00:35:49,814 --> 00:35:50,648 就是 586 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:54,694 我歷盡滄桑，犧牲色相 才找到的《四十二章經》都被他搶了 587 00:35:54,777 --> 00:35:57,947 還要我明天再去較量 說要打贏了他才還給我 588 00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:01,367 又一掌 589 00:36:01,951 --> 00:36:04,996 你中了我的化骨綿掌 居然還敢撒謊？ 590 00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:05,913 沒有 591 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:08,583 我亮出了你的字號 也還給他多打了幾下 592 00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:11,502 還有封東西說要給你看的 593 00:36:18,467 --> 00:36:21,095 公公，這個小太監很有趣 594 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,638 可惜武功差了點 595 00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:24,682 請你把最好的武功傳給他 596 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,142 好讓他可以陪朕玩 597 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:28,227 朕知道你會責罰他 598 00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:30,771 所以朕御賜他為天子門生 599 00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:31,981 你不能待薄他 600 00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:33,983 還得聽他的話，不可逆旨 601 00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:36,027 不然朕會很不高興 602 00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,656 怎麼了？沒事吧？ 603 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:50,041 不知道小春子公公 604 00:36:50,124 --> 00:36:52,960 想學些什麼武功來跟這個人比試呢？ 605 00:36:55,504 --> 00:36:59,175 瞧他這副德行，好像欠人家不少錢 606 00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:02,178 想讓我學功夫？ 607 00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:04,305 乾脆就化骨綿掌吧 608 00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:05,598 也好 609 00:37:05,806 --> 00:37:09,352 化骨綿掌練個30、50年也能略有小成 610 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:12,688 你的絕世武功動不動 就要說練一百幾十年 611 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:14,732 化骨綿掌沒練到一半就進棺材了 612 00:37:14,815 --> 00:37:17,485 連痰都化不了，你真是失敗 613 00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:18,444 說得也是 614 00:37:18,527 --> 00:37:22,198 況且化骨綿掌殺傷力太強 恐防會傷到皇… 615 00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:23,574 皇什麼？ 616 00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:26,410 皇城之內的和氣 617 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:29,830 那你有什麼拿手的？耍出來讓我選吧 618 00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:31,415 -好 -喂 619 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,876 -幹什麼？ -我打了一天，肚子好餓 620 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,378 弄點東西給我當宵夜 621 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,037 拿這麼大一把，用來挑泥嗎？ 622 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,623 看見你就累了，換把輕的吧 623 00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:32,601 這個有看頭 624 00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:34,270 幫幫忙，謝謝 625 00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,653 你媽的大西瓜 626 00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:45,323 切得一邊大一邊小的 怎出得了大場面？ 627 00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:46,365 再換… 628 00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:01,047 飛上飛下很好玩嗎？ 629 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,465 你還小嗎？ 630 00:39:04,091 --> 00:39:06,802 明知道我在吃火鍋 還把樹葉都打下來 631 00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:09,013 都幾十歲人了，別討罵行嗎？ 632 00:39:13,642 --> 00:39:16,479 小春子，挑三揀四 你到底想怎麼樣？ 633 00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:18,189 是你叫我學功夫的 634 00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:19,899 幹什麼？ 635 00:39:29,283 --> 00:39:30,117 還跑？ 636 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,660 喂，你煩不煩？ 637 00:39:32,244 --> 00:39:33,120 去死吧 638 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:40,211 等一等 639 00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:42,713 幹什麼？ 640 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:44,256 喂… 641 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:46,967 你剛才這招是什麼名堂？ 642 00:39:47,468 --> 00:39:50,137 百發百中穿心龍爪手 643 00:39:50,304 --> 00:39:53,057 百發百中抓奶龍爪手？ 644 00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:54,183 幹什麼？ 645 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:56,310 有內涵，我就學這招 646 00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,478 這招是嗎？ 647 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,855 -拼盡全力練啊 -好 648 00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:01,607 -我抓！ -我抓！ 649 00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:03,734 你這招從哪裡學回來的？ 650 00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:05,152 你少管 651 00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:07,696 本來我這招都只施展在女人身上 652 00:40:07,780 --> 00:40:09,365 不過看你人還不錯 653 00:40:09,615 --> 00:40:11,450 就破例讓你見識一下 654 00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:47,069 哥，怎麼你今天這麼丟臉？ 怎打不過人家？ 655 00:40:47,319 --> 00:40:48,529 妳千萬別過來 656 00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:50,906 這個人招招都下流，一定抓這裡的 657 00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,741 你先顧好你自己吧 658 00:40:58,831 --> 00:41:00,708 喂，說好不能打臉的 659 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:01,750 那你又抓我胸部？ 660 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:03,544 抓就抓，你又不靠胸部混飯吃 661 00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:05,421 而我是靠臉混飯吃的 662 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:07,465 你這個小太監，油腔滑調，卑鄙下流 663 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:08,674 你不是太監嗎？ 664 00:41:08,757 --> 00:41:10,676 全紫禁城只有皇上有雞雞 665 00:41:10,759 --> 00:41:11,969 你以為你是誰？ 666 00:41:14,346 --> 00:41:15,347 還有什麼要說 667 00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:16,640 你投不投降？ 668 00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:18,767 -你先啊 -怕了嗎？ 669 00:41:22,396 --> 00:41:23,856 -很痛啊！投降，放手… -投不投降？ 670 00:41:23,939 --> 00:41:25,774 放手…我投降！ 671 00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:26,859 贏了 672 00:41:27,026 --> 00:41:29,111 哥哥，你怎麼這麼差勁？ 673 00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:30,654 有沒有搞錯啊？這麼用力 674 00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,364 很痛啊… 675 00:41:32,740 --> 00:41:34,283 -你怎樣啊？ -硬是要抓的才行 676 00:41:34,366 --> 00:41:35,242 痛不痛？ 677 00:41:35,534 --> 00:41:36,827 當然痛了！ 678 00:41:37,828 --> 00:41:38,871 怎麼你有… 679 00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:42,917 你剛才不是說過，整個紫禁城 680 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,586 -只有皇上才有… -建寧，妳… 681 00:41:57,723 --> 00:41:59,266 皇上？ 682 00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:01,727 奴才啟稟皇上 683 00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:03,979 太子少保鰲拜鰲大人求見 684 00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:05,022 現在怎麼辦？ 685 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:06,774 鰲拜這個老賊 686 00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:09,693 竟然朕沒吩咐 就直闖御書房，太放肆了 687 00:42:11,111 --> 00:42:12,488 妳立刻帶他先迴避一下 688 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:14,865 -快點… -走吧 689 00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:16,200 快點躲起來 690 00:42:16,283 --> 00:42:17,576 躲在下面… 691 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:35,844 -鰲拜參見皇上 -微臣參見皇上 692 00:42:35,928 --> 00:42:36,845 平身 693 00:42:37,179 --> 00:42:38,597 -謝皇上 -謝皇上 694 00:42:42,309 --> 00:42:44,520 鰲少保與多位大臣求見 695 00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:46,146 有何事稟告？ 696 00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:48,691 請皇上馬上下聖諭 697 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:50,526 拘禁大學士索尼 698 00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:51,902 鰲少保 699 00:42:52,069 --> 00:42:53,571 索尼大學士與你一樣 700 00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:56,782 都是四位先皇欽點 輔佐朕的顧命大臣之一 701 00:42:57,491 --> 00:42:58,534 功在社稷 702 00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,495 你怎麼無端要將他拘禁？ 703 00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:04,081 索尼罪大滔天 704 00:43:04,164 --> 00:43:06,000 使得百姓怨聲載道 705 00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:08,419 兵部更是對他不滿 706 00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:10,879 若不將他拘禁查辦 707 00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,840 難平民憤 708 00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:16,343 所以各同僚推舉鰲拜 709 00:43:17,094 --> 00:43:18,929 懇請皇上降旨 710 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,931 懇請皇上降旨 711 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:23,517 無憑無據 712 00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:25,394 怎可隨便拘禁顧命大臣？ 713 00:43:27,855 --> 00:43:29,481 微臣說的話就是憑據 714 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:32,401 微臣手握天下兵馬，麾下何止百萬？ 715 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,695 微臣口中軍令重於泰山 716 00:43:34,945 --> 00:43:37,948 手上軍旗一揮，千個人頭落地 717 00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:40,659 皇上難道認為微臣會說謊？ 718 00:43:41,201 --> 00:43:43,579 就算皇上認為微臣在說謊 719 00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,956 難道滿朝文武百官都在說謊？ 720 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,833 -請皇上三思 -請皇上三思 721 00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:51,587 朕需要參詳一下 722 00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:54,089 百姓身處水深火熱之中 723 00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:57,051 皇上萬萬不能再拖延半刻 724 00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:59,219 -朕需要考慮一下… -皇上 725 00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:02,973 皇上，請准微臣磨墨 726 00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:07,478 你… 727 00:44:07,853 --> 00:44:10,022 -他就是鰲拜？ -是啊 728 00:44:11,565 --> 00:44:13,609 -怎麼那麼兇？ -是啊 729 00:44:15,402 --> 00:44:17,237 你搞什麼？我又不是女人 730 00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:20,699 我知道你不是女人 我也知道你不是男人 731 00:44:32,252 --> 00:44:33,504 喂，不要彈了 732 00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,464 什麼人？ 733 00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:42,304 是我 734 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:43,722 大膽太監 735 00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,432 為何躲在這裡？ 736 00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:49,645 你猜猜 737 00:44:50,270 --> 00:44:52,815 人來，立刻拖出去斬了 738 00:44:53,148 --> 00:44:54,400 -等等 -等等 739 00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:55,526 -他到底是什麼人？ -他… 740 00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:56,652 他是朕的心腹 741 00:44:59,321 --> 00:45:01,365 -心腹大人… -好說好說 742 00:45:01,448 --> 00:45:02,491 心腹？ 743 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:04,701 我怎麼從來沒聽說過？ 744 00:45:04,910 --> 00:45:06,870 這麼大聲跟皇上說話 745 00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:08,080 你是不是想死？ 746 00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:09,331 皇上吉祥 747 00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:10,374 你看我 748 00:45:10,499 --> 00:45:11,458 過分！ 749 00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,168 你叫什麼名字？幾歲？在哪工作？ 750 00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:14,586 不要看，說！ 751 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,131 你們幹什麼全站著？跪下 752 00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:19,925 你看什麼看？ 753 00:45:20,008 --> 00:45:21,385 說啊！ 754 00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:25,305 皇上，我不管這是什麼人 755 00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:28,684 我只是要你即刻下令拘禁索尼 756 00:45:28,809 --> 00:45:29,935 幹什麼？ 757 00:45:30,018 --> 00:45:32,771 皇上自有分寸 用得著你在這磯磯歪歪？ 758 00:45:33,063 --> 00:45:36,150 基本上索尼吃飯不付錢 還有調戲老太婆和勾引你老婆 759 00:45:36,233 --> 00:45:37,401 我們都知道 760 00:45:37,484 --> 00:45:38,735 -你胡說 -我還未說完 761 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,822 其實我就是皇上身邊的… 762 00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:42,865 臥底 763 00:45:42,948 --> 00:45:44,950 -是 -金牌臥底 764 00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:47,286 專門臥在你們的左右四周 765 00:45:47,369 --> 00:45:49,663 監視索尼同黨的出現 766 00:45:49,872 --> 00:45:51,290 你這麼急於要殺索尼 767 00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,624 你一定就是他的同黨 768 00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:53,709 胡說 769 00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:57,838 我手握天下兵馬，麾下何止百萬？ 770 00:45:58,005 --> 00:45:59,798 我需要做索尼的同黨？ 771 00:46:06,763 --> 00:46:08,140 -“喔”什麼？ -你說 772 00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:10,893 恐嚇！ 773 00:46:11,226 --> 00:46:12,352 恐嚇皇上！ 774 00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:14,229 大家都聽到他恐嚇皇上了吧？ 775 00:46:14,313 --> 00:46:16,690 -沒聽到… -沒聽到… 776 00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:18,775 我和皇上都聽到了 777 00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,068 這次沒得商量了，來人 778 00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:21,195 拖出去斬 779 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,237 -喂… -等等 780 00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:26,033 我看你人還不錯，我再給你一次機會 781 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:27,201 你走 782 00:46:27,409 --> 00:46:28,619 我殺了你這個小滑頭 783 00:46:28,702 --> 00:46:30,954 謝謝，不過殺人無須勞煩你 784 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:34,750 只要皇上聖旨一下 大家都要人頭落地 785 00:46:35,083 --> 00:46:37,461 不過不知道是先砍你還是先砍我 786 00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:38,837 鰲少保 787 00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:41,673 索尼之事，朕自有解決方法 788 00:46:42,132 --> 00:46:44,176 明天自有賞賜送至你那 789 00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:46,261 你現在與眾大臣先退下 790 00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:49,264 -鰲大人，我們先告退了 -鰲大人，我們先告退了 791 00:46:55,812 --> 00:46:57,606 果然英雄出少年 792 00:47:00,025 --> 00:47:01,068 皇上 793 00:47:01,568 --> 00:47:02,945 微臣告退 794 00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:25,133 哥 795 00:47:27,886 --> 00:47:29,555 這回小春子比你厲害了 796 00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:32,808 你剛才嚇得縮起來，像隻鵪鶉一樣 797 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:34,935 這次全靠你 798 00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:36,645 不用客氣 799 00:47:38,814 --> 00:47:41,483 剛才小春子誤抓“龍雞”，罪該萬死 800 00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:43,068 求皇上恕罪 801 00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:44,945 不知者不罪 802 00:47:45,279 --> 00:47:46,405 謝皇上 803 00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:47,573 哥哥 804 00:47:48,073 --> 00:47:51,201 我覺得小春子很有趣 805 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:54,079 不如你賜給我吧？ 806 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:55,497 不得胡鬧 807 00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:57,916 平身 808 00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:00,460 朕正在用人之際 809 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:02,921 小春子有勇有謀，膽識過人 810 00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:04,506 你願不願意為朕效勞？ 811 00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:06,800 小人實在求之不得 812 00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:08,343 那好 813 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:09,845 朕現在封你為 814 00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,972 御前金牌臥底小密探 815 00:48:12,347 --> 00:48:13,390 小人收到 816 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,183 除了對付鰲拜之外 817 00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:16,852 還要監視海大富 818 00:48:17,644 --> 00:48:18,604 海公公？ 819 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,941 海大富是先皇心腹 820 00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:25,193 朕最近發現他行蹤詭秘 821 00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,528 恐怕另有圖謀 822 00:48:26,903 --> 00:48:29,531 況且海大富對太后有偏見 823 00:48:29,823 --> 00:48:32,701 朕要你監視他的一舉一動，向朕回報 824 00:48:33,118 --> 00:48:34,036 是 825 00:48:35,037 --> 00:48:36,371 朕與你的關係 826 00:48:36,788 --> 00:48:38,373 以及今天所發生的事 827 00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:39,916 只有我們三人知道 828 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:42,210 如果你洩露出去 829 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:44,755 朕便讓你人頭落地 830 00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:46,256 是 831 00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:47,924 如果是她洩露呢？ 832 00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:49,551 一樣會讓你人頭落地 833 00:48:50,802 --> 00:48:53,055 皇上處事公正嚴明 834 00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:54,973 小人真是佩服萬分 835 00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:57,476 以後你隨傳隨到 836 00:48:57,726 --> 00:49:00,479 協助朕監視朝中奸黨 837 00:49:00,812 --> 00:49:01,688 喳 838 00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,190 順便也監視我吧 839 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,699 那一招稱為老樹盤根 840 00:49:13,241 --> 00:49:15,494 我一個翻身將他下盤制住 841 00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:17,287 他回頭一望 842 00:49:17,746 --> 00:49:21,291 突然打出一招所謂的獅子偷桃 843 00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,876 是猴子偷桃吧？ 844 00:49:23,085 --> 00:49:26,046 獅子不能偷桃？獅子不吃水果？ 845 00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:28,173 笨蛋，你要聽說書就別打岔 846 00:49:28,965 --> 00:49:31,051 話說那招獅子偷桃 847 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,636 我居然偷不著 848 00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:35,847 可是手上無端就多了一撮毛 849 00:49:36,139 --> 00:49:38,016 大家猜一猜是為什麼 850 00:49:38,266 --> 00:49:39,726 是不是胳肢窩毛啊？ 851 00:49:40,894 --> 00:49:41,937 全錯 852 00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:44,398 胡說八道 853 00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:53,573 你以為你是第一個掀翻桌椅的人嗎？ 854 00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:55,283 我早有準備了 855 00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,454 你不知道我除了化骨綿掌之外 856 00:49:59,871 --> 00:50:01,832 還有化繩綿腿嗎？ 857 00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:11,383 《四十二章經》呢？ 858 00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,510 忘了放在哪了 859 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,389 你手上的綠氣到手肘了嗎？ 860 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:24,187 快到了 861 00:50:24,438 --> 00:50:26,481 不過如果你幫我解了化骨綿掌的毒 862 00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:27,733 我也許會想起來 863 00:50:28,316 --> 00:50:29,776 你還敢耍花樣？ 864 00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:34,823 是誰？ 865 00:50:34,906 --> 00:50:37,075 -海公公，我們是太后派來的 -海公公，我們是太后派來的 866 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,995 海大富有病在身 867 00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:43,123 未能出迎各位姐姐 不知太后有何吩咐？ 868 00:50:43,623 --> 00:50:46,293 太后想請公公的手下，小春子去一趟 869 00:50:46,626 --> 00:50:48,545 是不是小春子有什麼過錯？ 870 00:50:48,628 --> 00:50:49,588 廢說少說 871 00:50:49,671 --> 00:50:52,215 快叫小春子出來，我們急著覆命 872 00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:55,594 太后為什麼找你？ 873 00:50:55,927 --> 00:50:57,262 我長得帥吧 874 00:50:58,597 --> 00:50:59,598 好 875 00:51:00,307 --> 00:51:02,017 這裡有包五毒散 876 00:51:02,517 --> 00:51:06,021 你有機會就放進太后所喝的茶或酒裡 877 00:51:06,104 --> 00:51:07,272 很危險的 878 00:51:07,397 --> 00:51:08,982 我會暗中保護你 879 00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:11,526 去 880 00:51:13,862 --> 00:51:15,363 逼了一個又一個 881 00:51:16,364 --> 00:51:18,033 -你就是小春子吧？ -你就是小春子吧？ 882 00:51:18,116 --> 00:51:19,868 正是，太后找我是嗎？ 883 00:51:19,951 --> 00:51:21,453 有勞兩位姐姐帶路 884 00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,664 我沒說不去啊 885 00:51:35,509 --> 00:51:36,843 幹什麼嘛？ 886 00:51:45,894 --> 00:51:48,230 強姦就好了，千萬別殺我 887 00:51:48,313 --> 00:51:51,191 大家都是混飯吃的 何必拿命呢？是不是啊？ 888 00:52:03,411 --> 00:52:06,081 難道我還沒淨身的秘密 被太后知道了？ 889 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,250 是的話就慘了 890 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:10,418 誰？ 891 00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:24,975 妳… 892 00:52:25,058 --> 00:52:26,351 你不認得我了？ 893 00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:29,813 在想… 894 00:52:31,273 --> 00:52:33,483 你以為皇兄不把你賜給我 895 00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:35,735 你就逃得出我的手掌心嗎？ 896 00:52:36,027 --> 00:52:39,364 我還是可以令母后的宮女把你抓回來 897 00:52:39,447 --> 00:52:41,241 母后？那太后… 898 00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:43,535 太后就是我母后 899 00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:46,204 皇帝就是我哥哥 900 00:52:46,329 --> 00:52:47,163 那妳是… 901 00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:48,957 看見建寧公主還不下跪？ 902 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,294 太遲了，大逆不道，斬！ 903 00:52:52,377 --> 00:52:54,671 妳別這麼衝動，我綁著不能動啊 904 00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:56,882 不管，大逆不道，斬！ 905 00:52:58,049 --> 00:53:01,595 挖掉你的眼睛、割掉你的鼻子 906 00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:05,807 還是切掉你不應該有的地方呢？ 907 00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:06,975 照我看 908 00:53:07,058 --> 00:53:08,518 妳不如先把我放出來 909 00:53:08,894 --> 00:53:11,187 大不了妳想幹嘛，我照做便是 910 00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:13,023 那試看看 911 00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:16,359 扮一個最帥的樣子來看看 912 00:53:16,526 --> 00:53:18,653 不需要，現在已經是了 913 00:53:20,113 --> 00:53:22,574 那扮一個最醜的樣子來看看 914 00:53:22,657 --> 00:53:24,743 不行，怎麼扮也不會醜 915 00:53:26,578 --> 00:53:29,247 那扮一個最淫賤的樣子來看看 916 00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:31,207 那更不用，妳照一下鏡子就是了 917 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:32,250 我？ 918 00:53:36,087 --> 00:53:37,213 大膽！ 919 00:53:37,964 --> 00:53:39,424 是蠻好玩的 920 00:53:39,507 --> 00:53:41,009 好吧，放你出來 921 00:53:44,971 --> 00:53:46,222 喂，不如你扮烏龜吧？ 922 00:53:48,016 --> 00:53:50,185 對不起，扮什麼都可以 923 00:53:50,310 --> 00:53:51,728 我就是不扮烏龜 924 00:53:51,811 --> 00:53:52,646 為什麼？ 925 00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:54,272 這是我個人的原則 926 00:53:55,106 --> 00:53:56,900 那好，你不扮烏龜 927 00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:58,109 -就要被我打 -那好吧 928 00:53:58,443 --> 00:53:59,277 我扮烏龜 929 00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:00,654 我不要了，我打 930 00:54:01,071 --> 00:54:02,155 笑啊 931 00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:03,198 笑 932 00:54:03,448 --> 00:54:05,325 -別打 -繼續笑 933 00:54:05,408 --> 00:54:06,826 -我… -笑啊 934 00:54:07,452 --> 00:54:09,746 我還是扮烏龜好了，扮烏龜很過癮的 935 00:54:09,829 --> 00:54:10,747 -沒錯 -這樣啊… 936 00:54:10,830 --> 00:54:11,831 是啊，相信我吧 937 00:54:12,248 --> 00:54:13,166 -那好吧 -來吧 938 00:54:13,249 --> 00:54:14,876 你就扮一隻被我打的烏龜 939 00:54:15,460 --> 00:54:16,628 -喂，別打… -扮啊 940 00:54:16,711 --> 00:54:18,296 -別打… -扮啊…快扮啊 941 00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:19,839 -妳夠了啊 -扮不扮？不扮就打到你扮為止 942 00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:20,924 去妳的！ 943 00:54:23,134 --> 00:54:24,135 為什麼？ 944 00:54:25,971 --> 00:54:28,139 為什麼妳要逼我？ 945 00:54:30,392 --> 00:54:31,643 來吧 946 00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:34,145 我求求你 947 00:54:34,396 --> 00:54:35,772 你打我吧 948 00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:38,066 妳只是在開玩笑吧？ 949 00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:41,319 沒錯，拜託你 950 00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:43,989 你用你最厲害的招數來打我吧 951 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,116 -來吧 -我從頭到底就一招而已 952 00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,702 那你就用那一招，來，求求你 953 00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:50,412 打我吧… 954 00:54:50,495 --> 00:54:52,080 喂，那怎麼好意思？ 955 00:54:52,497 --> 00:54:54,082 快點… 956 00:54:54,165 --> 00:54:55,709 -打我吧 -好，怕了妳了 957 00:54:58,169 --> 00:55:00,046 公主，請接招 958 00:55:19,232 --> 00:55:21,234 傻瓜，哭什麼？ 959 00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:23,570 我會好好待你的 960 00:55:25,613 --> 00:55:27,198 妳可不能騙我 961 00:55:27,323 --> 00:55:28,950 我自有分寸 962 00:55:31,536 --> 00:55:33,121 這有件新衣服，先穿上 963 00:55:33,204 --> 00:55:34,414 別讓人看光了 964 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:42,839 建寧，你們兩個在幹什麼？ 965 00:55:44,257 --> 00:55:45,842 躲貓貓 966 00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:48,136 是，沒錯 967 00:55:48,261 --> 00:55:49,179 建寧 968 00:55:49,262 --> 00:55:51,473 妳原來頑皮任性，我也由著妳了 969 00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:53,808 但妳竟然跟小太監在這裡胡混 970 00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:55,351 雖然不會出什麼亂子 971 00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:57,604 但要是讓人家知道了 妳叫我怎麼見人？ 972 00:55:57,687 --> 00:55:58,646 母后 973 00:56:00,899 --> 00:56:02,776 我下次不敢了 974 00:56:03,276 --> 00:56:04,903 我真的不敢了 975 00:56:05,695 --> 00:56:07,405 這次就算了，下次別這樣了 976 00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:08,573 -小人告退 -站住 977 00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:12,118 為了保住公主的名譽 978 00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:13,745 只好委屈你了 979 00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:15,330 不要啊 980 00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,299 妳先放了他，不然我就先殺公主 981 00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:29,052 你究竟是誰？三番四次闖我寢宮 982 00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:30,637 可知道這是誅九族的大罪？ 983 00:56:31,387 --> 00:56:34,182 妳冒充太后，也是誅九族的大罪 984 00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:36,017 -你胡說 -我沒胡說 985 00:56:36,101 --> 00:56:39,145 上次跟妳交手，便已知道 妳用的是神龍教的武功 986 00:56:39,562 --> 00:56:41,940 妳潛伏在宮中到底有何目的？快說 987 00:56:42,273 --> 00:56:44,275 想要我說？就看你有沒有這本事 988 00:56:54,702 --> 00:56:55,995 金蛇纏獅手？ 989 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,716 雕蟲小技，敢跟我交手？ 990 00:57:15,723 --> 00:57:17,183 妳的武功雖然高 991 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,644 可惜江湖經驗不夠 992 00:57:20,311 --> 00:57:21,396 活見鬼了 993 00:57:21,604 --> 00:57:23,189 你們兩個怎麼搞成這個樣子？ 994 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,567 小春子，你不用怕 995 00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:27,694 馬上給我殺了這個妖女 996 00:57:28,653 --> 00:57:31,531 我連雞都沒殺過啊 就別找這樣的事給我做了 997 00:57:31,614 --> 00:57:32,949 你竟敢以下犯上？ 998 00:57:33,032 --> 00:57:33,908 小春子 999 00:57:33,992 --> 00:57:36,327 拿我的神龍刺從他的眉心刺下去 1000 00:57:36,494 --> 00:57:37,662 我就封你做大官 1001 00:57:38,204 --> 00:57:40,290 妳不殺我就算我走運了 還說要給我做大官？ 1002 00:57:40,373 --> 00:57:41,749 我信不過妳 1003 00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:42,917 你不要相信她 1004 00:57:43,418 --> 00:57:44,836 現在她真氣已被我打亂 1005 00:57:45,086 --> 00:57:46,379 一動就會走火入魔 1006 00:57:46,504 --> 00:57:48,173 你快拿根刺刺入她頭頂 1007 00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:49,132 喂 1008 00:57:49,215 --> 00:57:52,552 你們兩個嘔氣關我什麼事？ 就當我沒來過好不好？ 1009 00:57:52,677 --> 00:57:54,762 小春子，快把她殺了 1010 00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:58,892 不然我死了，就沒人幫你 解開化骨綿掌的毒了 1011 00:58:00,059 --> 00:58:01,144 我幫你解 1012 00:58:01,227 --> 00:58:02,228 她胡說 1013 00:58:02,770 --> 00:58:04,397 她不會解化骨綿掌的毒 1014 00:58:04,564 --> 00:58:07,358 皇上駕到！ 1015 00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:09,360 皇上駕到了 1016 00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,821 看到這樣的情形，他一定不會相信你 1017 00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:13,364 一定會先把你殺了 1018 00:58:14,032 --> 00:58:15,867 我就算走火入魔 1019 00:58:16,701 --> 00:58:18,495 也要先取妳的性命 1020 00:58:20,747 --> 00:58:22,373 喂…別這麼衝動 1021 00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:26,419 你先快點幫我把毒解了 1022 00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:27,921 -真是怕了你 -走開 1023 00:58:28,630 --> 00:58:30,298 -這是事實… -別攔著我 1024 00:58:38,389 --> 00:58:39,349 你… 1025 00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,892 我無心的 1026 00:58:47,273 --> 00:58:48,233 母后 1027 00:58:50,443 --> 00:58:51,319 皇上 1028 00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:53,571 母后，朕剛才經過慈寧宮 1029 00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:55,949 突然聽見巨響，不知發生何事？ 1030 00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,576 剛才有個黑衣人意圖行刺哀家 1031 00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:00,703 幸好這位小太監捨命相救 1032 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:02,330 母后才能夠安然無事 1033 00:59:02,830 --> 00:59:04,999 小春子，有沒有看見黑衣人？ 1034 00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:07,752 有沒有看見？ 1035 00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:10,463 有，但沒看清楚是誰 1036 00:59:10,713 --> 00:59:12,757 公主在裡面也被點了穴，暈過去了 1037 00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:15,552 來人，快請太醫來救公主 1038 00:59:15,635 --> 00:59:16,928 加強附近所有戒備 1039 00:59:17,011 --> 00:59:17,887 -喳！ -喳！ 1040 00:59:19,305 --> 00:59:20,390 母后妳受驚了 1041 00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:21,766 妳先去裡面休息吧 1042 00:59:21,849 --> 00:59:22,892 是啊… 1043 00:59:23,434 --> 00:59:24,727 用不著你扶我 1044 00:59:28,189 --> 00:59:29,274 有沒有什麼發現？ 1045 00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:30,984 暫時沒有 1046 00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:32,777 還不快去監視海大富？ 1047 00:59:33,486 --> 00:59:34,529 快 1048 00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:43,955 公公，求求你了 1049 00:59:44,872 --> 00:59:46,499 要是你真的死了 1050 00:59:46,874 --> 00:59:48,543 也千萬不要回來嚇唬我 1051 00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:50,211 拜託… 1052 01:00:05,476 --> 01:00:07,061 不關我的事啊，海公公 1053 01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:08,396 你要找就找太后吧 1054 01:00:08,479 --> 01:00:10,940 或者找誰都行，反正就別找我 1055 01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:12,609 每逢七月十四，我多燒點東西給你 1056 01:00:12,692 --> 01:00:14,193 大哥，冤有頭，債有主啊 1057 01:00:15,486 --> 01:00:17,614 -不關我的事啊 -雞雞 1058 01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:20,116 -你是雞雞 -誰？我？ 1059 01:00:20,325 --> 01:00:22,577 雞雞在這裡，雞雞 1060 01:00:22,910 --> 01:00:24,245 舌頭像你的雞雞 1061 01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:25,413 -是啊… -不是… 1062 01:00:25,496 --> 01:00:27,498 -你的長相像我的雞雞 -公公 1063 01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:30,043 你說我舌頭像我不介意 你說我長得像我沒辦法接受 1064 01:00:31,210 --> 01:00:32,587 你長得像雞雞 1065 01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:34,255 -雞雞… -語無倫次的 1066 01:00:34,339 --> 01:00:35,423 他瘋了？ 1067 01:00:36,257 --> 01:00:37,842 像雞雞 1068 01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:39,886 -想找雞雞？跟我來 -是啊… 1069 01:00:41,679 --> 01:00:42,889 雞雞在這裡？ 1070 01:00:43,514 --> 01:00:44,974 這裡？ 1071 01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:47,518 -這裡？雞雞在這裡？ -不是，雞雞在這裡 1072 01:00:48,102 --> 01:00:49,228 在這裡？ 1073 01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:52,357 你現在把它喝了，喝了就會有雞雞了 1074 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:53,358 喝吧… 1075 01:00:54,525 --> 01:00:55,485 還有 1076 01:00:55,693 --> 01:00:57,236 我去那邊拿點藥給你吃 1077 01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:00,031 吃了以後，雞雞就會變得 像老蓮米那麼大 1078 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:04,243 -老蓮米那麼大？ -老蓮米那麼大 1079 01:01:05,286 --> 01:01:06,371 太好了！ 1080 01:01:13,336 --> 01:01:15,004 三十六計，走為上策 1081 01:01:17,382 --> 01:01:19,300 我喝光了，怎麼沒有雞雞？ 1082 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,426 雞雞呢？ 1083 01:01:20,843 --> 01:01:22,261 又說有藥吃？給藥我吃 1084 01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:23,930 -快給藥我吃 -等等 1085 01:01:24,097 --> 01:01:26,057 給我吃點藥，快點…我要吃 1086 01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:29,394 -有藥吃了 -不要啊，那是五毒散 1087 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:30,645 -公公 -很好吃啊 1088 01:01:46,327 --> 01:01:47,745 不是走火入魔吧？ 1089 01:01:59,799 --> 01:02:00,800 公公 1090 01:02:07,348 --> 01:02:08,433 公公，你沒事吧？ 1091 01:02:08,516 --> 01:02:09,475 “公公，你沒事吧？” 1092 01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:10,893 -我在問你 -“我在問你” 1093 01:02:10,977 --> 01:02:13,020 -你幹嘛學我？ -“你幹嘛學我？” 1094 01:02:20,194 --> 01:02:21,612 真的這麼聽話？ 1095 01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:23,072 “真的這麼聽話？” 1096 01:02:23,197 --> 01:02:24,407 這下我發了 1097 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:25,825 “這下我發了” 1098 01:02:25,908 --> 01:02:27,535 快幫我解化骨綿掌的毒 1099 01:02:27,618 --> 01:02:29,412 “快幫我解化骨綿掌的毒” 1100 01:02:29,495 --> 01:02:30,663 -不是 -“不是” 1101 01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,874 我幫你解化骨綿掌的毒 1102 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,919 解你的雞雞 1103 01:02:41,215 --> 01:02:42,425 皇上開恩 1104 01:02:42,508 --> 01:02:43,801 有何事稟報？ 1105 01:02:44,927 --> 01:02:47,388 小春子照皇上的意思去監視海公公 1106 01:02:47,472 --> 01:02:48,931 豈知被他發現了 1107 01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:50,892 怎麼會發現？ 1108 01:02:50,975 --> 01:02:52,769 都怪小春子說夢話 1109 01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:54,145 被他聽見了一切 1110 01:02:54,228 --> 01:02:55,438 還想殺我滅口 1111 01:02:55,521 --> 01:02:58,524 幸好小春子在打鬥的時候 不斷在叫皇上的名字 1112 01:02:58,608 --> 01:02:59,817 如有神助 1113 01:02:59,901 --> 01:03:01,569 還無端點到他的死穴 1114 01:03:01,652 --> 01:03:03,446 現在海公公已經瘋了 1115 01:03:03,571 --> 01:03:05,740 求皇上開恩恕罪 1116 01:03:07,867 --> 01:03:09,619 那你的膽子真的好大 1117 01:03:09,702 --> 01:03:11,954 是…我的膽子真的不小 1118 01:03:13,956 --> 01:03:15,541 居然冒充太監欺騙朕 1119 01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:16,501 奴才不敢 1120 01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:17,543 還敢說謊？ 1121 01:03:17,668 --> 01:03:20,171 朕已看過太監名冊，根本沒你的名字 1122 01:03:20,254 --> 01:03:21,464 也沒淨身記錄 1123 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,840 你究竟是從哪來的？ 1124 01:03:24,425 --> 01:03:27,053 實不相瞞，小春子是被逼的 1125 01:03:27,970 --> 01:03:29,889 本來我進宮只是想當雜役 1126 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,517 怎知被海公公看到 也不知道他看上我哪一點 1127 01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:34,977 硬逼我入宮當太監當到現在 1128 01:03:35,394 --> 01:03:37,355 小春子真的無心欺騙皇上 1129 01:03:39,690 --> 01:03:40,608 好 1130 01:03:41,067 --> 01:03:42,360 你先平身 1131 01:03:43,402 --> 01:03:44,445 謝皇上 1132 01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:47,073 你老實告訴朕 1133 01:03:48,950 --> 01:03:50,368 你…淨身了沒？ 1134 01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:52,411 沒有 1135 01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:57,041 善有善因，惡有惡報 1136 01:03:57,166 --> 01:03:59,710 天理循環，天公地道 1137 01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:02,630 我曾誤抓“龍雞”，今日皇上抓我 1138 01:04:02,713 --> 01:04:05,299 實在抓得有教育意義之極 1139 01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,385 我對皇上景仰之心 1140 01:04:07,468 --> 01:04:10,096 有如滔滔江水，連綿不絕 1141 01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:12,223 又有如黃河氾濫 1142 01:04:12,390 --> 01:04:14,433 -一發不可收拾… -夠了 1143 01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:17,728 這次是報你上次抓朕之仇 1144 01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:19,689 一人一次，各不相欠 1145 01:04:20,481 --> 01:04:22,024 謝主隆抓 1146 01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:23,359 你不是太監也好 1147 01:04:23,776 --> 01:04:25,778 根據前朝列祖訂下的禁例 1148 01:04:26,112 --> 01:04:27,780 太監是不可干涉朝政的 1149 01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:30,992 你不是太監，朕可以賜你一官半職 1150 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:32,368 你叫什麼名字？ 1151 01:04:35,037 --> 01:04:37,915 奴才姓韋名小寶，京城人士 1152 01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:40,084 鰲拜殺了索尼 1153 01:04:41,794 --> 01:04:43,045 鰲拜逼朕一步 1154 01:04:43,796 --> 01:04:45,172 朕就要退一步 1155 01:04:46,173 --> 01:04:47,466 朕覺得這個時候 1156 01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,177 根本已經退無可退 1157 01:04:51,637 --> 01:04:54,807 鰲拜這個混蛋，我不會放過他的 1158 01:04:55,057 --> 01:04:56,767 鰲拜手握天下兵馬 1159 01:04:56,976 --> 01:04:59,270 朕如果稍有舉動，朕恐怕他會… 1160 01:04:59,604 --> 01:05:00,605 造反 1161 01:05:01,439 --> 01:05:04,275 不過他不會每天帶著天下兵馬到處走 1162 01:05:04,525 --> 01:05:06,819 我們可以等他一個人的時候揍他 1163 01:05:07,612 --> 01:05:08,821 朕正有此意 1164 01:05:09,405 --> 01:05:10,364 多隆 1165 01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:12,491 -多隆 -多隆叩見皇上 1166 01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:14,493 你從哪冒出來的？ 1167 01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:16,579 這麼秘密的事怎可以告訴下人呢？ 1168 01:05:16,662 --> 01:05:17,496 這倒沒錯 1169 01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:19,707 多隆是御前帶刀侍衛統領 1170 01:05:19,790 --> 01:05:20,791 忠心為國 1171 01:05:21,042 --> 01:05:22,084 韋小寶是… 1172 01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:25,379 是朕的心腹 1173 01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,673 今天召集你們過來 1174 01:05:27,965 --> 01:05:29,675 就是想跟你們商議一下 1175 01:05:29,842 --> 01:05:31,052 怎麼才可以… 1176 01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:35,723 才可以製造機會 讓你們兩個一起去殺鰲拜 1177 01:05:38,684 --> 01:05:39,977 你們很害怕嗎？ 1178 01:05:43,814 --> 01:05:44,732 -不怕 -不怕 1179 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:46,901 今天的事情如果有第四個人知道 1180 01:05:47,026 --> 01:05:48,611 朕就讓你們人頭落地 1181 01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:51,113 朕已準備召鰲拜前來御書房 1182 01:05:51,864 --> 01:05:53,741 看看有什麼辦法可以把他殺死 1183 01:06:01,582 --> 01:06:03,709 我們可以用古代荊軻刺秦王那個橋段 1184 01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:06,837 來個圖窮匕現，將他了斷 1185 01:06:16,013 --> 01:06:18,349 又或可以賜他毒酒 1186 01:06:24,897 --> 01:06:26,565 如果鰲拜真的不死的話 1187 01:06:26,857 --> 01:06:29,735 微臣就埋伏12個武功高強的侍衛 1188 01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:31,195 將他亂刀砍死 1189 01:06:31,278 --> 01:06:32,738 鰲拜武功高強 1190 01:06:32,863 --> 01:06:34,490 恐怕你們殺不了他 1191 01:06:34,740 --> 01:06:35,908 那倒未必 1192 01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:39,161 我們還可以裝機關 1193 01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:54,218 好 1194 01:06:54,885 --> 01:06:56,429 何況我們還有一個高手 1195 01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:57,805 是誰？ 1196 01:06:58,097 --> 01:06:59,849 就是瘋了的海公公 1197 01:07:00,099 --> 01:07:01,142 海公公？ 1198 01:07:01,475 --> 01:07:03,853 他現在瘋到我做什麼，他就做什麼 1199 01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:07,481 我們大可以利用他 假扮成另一個人去暗算鰲拜 1200 01:07:08,315 --> 01:07:09,233 假扮誰？ 1201 01:07:12,236 --> 01:07:13,446 扮關公 1202 01:07:13,529 --> 01:07:14,613 “扮關公” 1203 01:07:14,780 --> 01:07:17,158 我們叫鰲拜來，栽他個不忠不義 1204 01:07:17,241 --> 01:07:20,536 -“我們叫鰲拜來，栽他個不忠…” -要他跪在關二哥面前發誓 1205 01:07:20,619 --> 01:07:22,872 -“要他跪在關二哥面前發誓” -他這人發誓像放屁 1206 01:07:22,955 --> 01:07:24,457 -“他這人發誓像放屁” -一定會答應 1207 01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:25,916 -“一定會答應” -到時候他不跪就罷了 1208 01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,544 -“到時候他不跪就罷了…” -如果一跪下，我們就手起刀落 1209 01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:31,839 “手起刀落”！ 1210 01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:34,383 -不要啊！ -“不要啊！” 1211 01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,265 -好險啊 -“好險啊” 1212 01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:44,977 准卿所奏 1213 01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:47,188 明天午時動手刺殺鰲拜 1214 01:07:47,646 --> 01:07:49,023 -謝主隆恩 -謝主隆恩 1215 01:07:52,943 --> 01:07:55,321 韋大人，何事如此痛楚？ 1216 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,449 剛才被皇上抓了四次、捶了八下 1217 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:02,161 韋大人竟然可以忍到現在？ 1218 01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:04,330 真是堅毅不屈 1219 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:06,207 卑職對韋大人的景仰 1220 01:08:06,290 --> 01:08:09,418 真是如滔滔江水，連綿不絕… 1221 01:08:09,710 --> 01:08:13,047 又有如黃河氾濫，一發不可收拾 1222 01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:17,426 -喂，我正想著這樣 -喂，我想這樣 1223 01:08:19,637 --> 01:08:21,514 -跟你燒黃紙當兄弟 -跟你燒黃紙當兄弟 1224 01:08:24,350 --> 01:08:25,768 -好兄弟 -好兄弟 1225 01:08:26,727 --> 01:08:28,312 買燒肉、斬雞 1226 01:08:28,687 --> 01:08:30,689 喂，買燒肉、召妓不是更好嗎？ 1227 01:08:48,833 --> 01:08:51,544 鰲少保，鰲大人到！ 1228 01:08:57,550 --> 01:08:59,468 鰲少保，皇上請你入內 1229 01:09:01,929 --> 01:09:04,557 微臣鰲拜叩見皇上 1230 01:09:05,933 --> 01:09:09,019 不知皇上召微臣來，有何差遣？ 1231 01:09:09,353 --> 01:09:10,312 賜座 1232 01:09:14,984 --> 01:09:18,195 俄羅斯人與本朝疆界，向來糾纏不清 1233 01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:20,573 日前派遣使臣送上地圖 1234 01:09:20,948 --> 01:09:22,825 要與本朝商議新疆界 1235 01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:25,411 朕希望能聽聽鰲少保的意見 1236 01:09:27,288 --> 01:09:29,206 微臣想先看一下地圖 1237 01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:34,128 鰲少保，急也不急於一時 1238 01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:35,838 人來，賜酒 1239 01:09:46,557 --> 01:09:47,600 鰲少保 1240 01:09:47,808 --> 01:09:50,269 這就是俄羅斯人獻上的地圖 1241 01:09:51,478 --> 01:09:52,479 請過目 1242 01:10:09,997 --> 01:10:13,667 俄羅斯邊界全屬窮山惡水之地 1243 01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:15,252 棄不足惜 1244 01:10:15,711 --> 01:10:17,171 皇上召微臣前來 1245 01:10:17,254 --> 01:10:18,964 恐怕志不在此啊 1246 01:10:21,258 --> 01:10:22,968 你…大膽鰲拜 1247 01:10:23,260 --> 01:10:24,428 竟敢對朕無禮 1248 01:10:25,429 --> 01:10:26,972 你大難臨頭了還不知道 1249 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,766 你知不知道你剛才喝的是毒酒啊？ 1250 01:10:30,017 --> 01:10:31,560 區區毒酒 1251 01:10:32,102 --> 01:10:34,021 我已經用內力逼了出來 1252 01:10:36,649 --> 01:10:37,816 你試試吧 1253 01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:43,781 救命啊 1254 01:10:44,198 --> 01:10:45,157 解藥啊 1255 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:49,203 開機關 1256 01:10:53,707 --> 01:10:54,625 糟了 1257 01:10:56,752 --> 01:10:58,754 幸好把他鎖住了，才沒那麼害怕 1258 01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:01,924 皇上，救命啊 1259 01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:04,718 皇上 1260 01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:08,097 本來君要臣死，臣不得不死 1261 01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:10,557 但如果皇上這樣對鰲拜 1262 01:11:11,058 --> 01:11:12,559 鰲拜絕不甘心 1263 01:11:15,020 --> 01:11:15,854 你… 1264 01:11:17,856 --> 01:11:19,858 大膽鰲拜，朕知你武功蓋世 1265 01:11:19,984 --> 01:11:21,193 本只想試試你的身手 1266 01:11:21,902 --> 01:11:24,488 你竟敢口出大逆不道之言？ 1267 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:27,908 試我武功？ 1268 01:11:28,534 --> 01:11:29,493 當然了 1269 01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:31,328 好 1270 01:11:31,495 --> 01:11:34,081 既然你說自己赤膽忠肝 1271 01:11:34,581 --> 01:11:36,750 你大可在關公面前 1272 01:11:37,084 --> 01:11:39,753 立下毒誓，說永遠效忠朕 1273 01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:41,588 好 1274 01:11:50,806 --> 01:11:54,560 鰲拜一生精忠為國，死而後已 1275 01:11:54,768 --> 01:11:58,272 如有半點虛言，五雷轟頂而死 1276 01:12:11,910 --> 01:12:13,746 關公顯靈啊！ 1277 01:12:14,455 --> 01:12:16,999 關公打鼻鼾啊，有沒有聽見？ 1278 01:12:21,670 --> 01:12:23,464 我斬！ 1279 01:12:23,547 --> 01:12:26,175 “我斬！” 1280 01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:36,894 十三太保橫練金鐘罩？ 1281 01:12:41,774 --> 01:12:43,776 護駕！ 1282 01:12:47,279 --> 01:12:48,697 -護駕！ -喳！ 1283 01:13:07,925 --> 01:13:09,426 他像打不死似的 1284 01:13:09,802 --> 01:13:11,762 十三太保橫練金鐘罩 1285 01:13:11,845 --> 01:13:13,555 刀槍不入，水火不侵 1286 01:13:13,889 --> 01:13:15,057 那豈不是天下無敵？ 1287 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,976 我們攻他下陰，插他雙眼 1288 01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:19,770 你不是瘋了嗎？ 1289 01:13:47,756 --> 01:13:48,590 小春子 1290 01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:50,217 你先別管我，先對付他 1291 01:13:50,300 --> 01:13:51,552 他來了… 1292 01:14:06,900 --> 01:14:07,818 去死吧 1293 01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,028 金鐘罩最高境界 1294 01:14:10,112 --> 01:14:11,238 縮陽入腹？ 1295 01:14:16,201 --> 01:14:17,995 化骨綿掌！ 1296 01:14:27,254 --> 01:14:28,172 護駕！ 1297 01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:29,840 皇上，卑職護駕來遲 1298 01:14:29,923 --> 01:14:31,800 -罪該萬死 -還那麼多廢話 1299 01:14:31,925 --> 01:14:33,844 皇上，卑職也是在護駕 1300 01:14:42,060 --> 01:14:43,937 化骨綿掌！ 1301 01:14:51,361 --> 01:14:52,279 雞雞 1302 01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:53,989 雞雞 1303 01:14:59,453 --> 01:15:01,038 護駕！ 1304 01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:05,918 護駕 1305 01:15:08,837 --> 01:15:10,255 護駕！ 1306 01:15:15,552 --> 01:15:17,554 救皇上！ 1307 01:15:17,638 --> 01:15:20,015 雞雞啊！ 1308 01:15:20,766 --> 01:15:21,725 等等我 1309 01:15:27,064 --> 01:15:28,941 不要啊，你不能殺我 1310 01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,361 在這種時候，我只好把真相告訴你 1311 01:15:32,736 --> 01:15:34,404 其實我是你的親生兒子 1312 01:15:34,780 --> 01:15:37,449 爸…抓奶龍爪手！ 1313 01:15:48,001 --> 01:15:49,127 救命啊！ 1314 01:15:49,211 --> 01:15:50,712 鰲拜造反了！ 1315 01:15:50,879 --> 01:15:52,047 來人啊！ 1316 01:15:52,297 --> 01:15:54,091 人都死到哪去了？ 1317 01:15:54,466 --> 01:15:55,634 救命啊！ 1318 01:15:56,051 --> 01:15:59,221 失火了，快來救火啊！ 1319 01:16:00,847 --> 01:16:01,723 太后！ 1320 01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:05,477 太后，救命啊 1321 01:16:07,271 --> 01:16:08,647 你膽子倒不小啊 1322 01:16:08,772 --> 01:16:11,275 我沒去找你，你居然來找我？ 1323 01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,609 太后，妳聽我說 1324 01:16:12,776 --> 01:16:14,528 鰲拜造反了 1325 01:16:14,611 --> 01:16:15,904 他殺了皇上 1326 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:19,658 現在正趕來這裡，說要將妳 先姦後殺，再姦再殺啊 1327 01:16:20,158 --> 01:16:21,159 你說什麼？ 1328 01:16:24,204 --> 01:16:26,290 太后，妳不用管我，自己先走 1329 01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:56,445 天蠶絲 1330 01:17:18,925 --> 01:17:20,677 保駕！ 1331 01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:26,933 保駕！母后！ 1332 01:17:27,017 --> 01:17:27,893 母后… 1333 01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:31,438 小寶 1334 01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:36,693 -你沒事吧？ -皇上 1335 01:17:37,277 --> 01:17:40,155 經過一番苦戰 我終於將鰲拜這個反賊降服 1336 01:17:40,238 --> 01:17:43,283 得保太后平安 我就算是死，也能夠瞑目了 1337 01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,242 你有沒有受傷？ 1338 01:17:44,826 --> 01:17:45,911 我受了內傷 1339 01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:49,539 不過如果能有幾萬兩銀子 去買藥吃，應該無礙 1340 01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:50,624 將鰲拜押入天牢 1341 01:17:50,707 --> 01:17:51,875 -喳 -母后！ 1342 01:17:51,958 --> 01:17:53,251 -母后！ -喂… 1343 01:17:55,170 --> 01:17:57,464 臣兒不孝，讓母后受驚了 1344 01:17:58,590 --> 01:18:01,218 幸得韋小寶捨命救我 1345 01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:05,263 否則哀家一定被鰲拜那個奸賊所害 1346 01:18:05,639 --> 01:18:07,265 微臣愧不敢當 1347 01:18:09,226 --> 01:18:10,185 小寶 1348 01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:11,770 你這次又立了大功 1349 01:18:12,604 --> 01:18:14,022 真是可惜 1350 01:18:14,231 --> 01:18:16,483 他是太監，不能當官 1351 01:18:16,608 --> 01:18:17,609 母后明鑑 1352 01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:19,653 其實小寶並非太監 1353 01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:22,197 他是朕安排在海大富身邊的臥底 1354 01:18:22,781 --> 01:18:23,949 他是堂堂男子漢 1355 01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:29,121 小寶並不是存心欺騙 只不過有皇命在身 1356 01:18:29,204 --> 01:18:30,539 請太后恕罪 1357 01:18:31,081 --> 01:18:32,624 韋大人豈不可以當官了？ 1358 01:18:34,751 --> 01:18:36,294 -韋小寶聽封 -喳 1359 01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:37,337 朕現在封你為… 1360 01:18:37,421 --> 01:18:39,589 不及閣大學士，御賜黃馬褂 1361 01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:41,341 負責抄封鰲拜家宅 1362 01:18:42,384 --> 01:18:44,928 多隆，你負責協助韋學士 1363 01:18:45,429 --> 01:18:46,763 -謝皇上 -謝皇上 1364 01:19:06,783 --> 01:19:11,955 憂懷國恨 1365 01:19:13,665 --> 01:19:18,086 心暗傷 1366 01:19:20,380 --> 01:19:22,382 大人，唱得不好也不用哭 1367 01:19:22,466 --> 01:19:23,759 混帳！ 1368 01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:25,594 我是因為傷心而哭 1369 01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:28,764 想不到鰲拜這個奸賊 搜刮了那麼多民脂民膏 1370 01:19:28,972 --> 01:19:31,266 我是為國家、為人民而哭 1371 01:19:34,102 --> 01:19:35,228 偉大 1372 01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:36,229 大人偉大啊 1373 01:19:36,313 --> 01:19:37,272 多大人 1374 01:19:41,943 --> 01:19:42,861 大人 1375 01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:46,406 初步點算，鰲拜的家產一共是38萬兩 1376 01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:50,994 這個奸賊，居然貪污了這麼多錢 1377 01:19:51,536 --> 01:19:53,663 我這輩子最討厭人貪污了 1378 01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:55,290 我一定要啟奏皇上 1379 01:19:55,373 --> 01:19:57,334 將貪污的人五馬分屍 1380 01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:02,547 大人，小人有些看錯了 1381 01:20:02,839 --> 01:20:06,384 鰲拜的家產應該是380萬兩才對 1382 01:20:08,094 --> 01:20:10,972 仇恨似海樣 1383 01:20:11,681 --> 01:20:13,475 永難忘 1384 01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:15,101 我一定要再啟奏皇上 1385 01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:17,395 請他恢復明朝對付貪官的剝皮法 1386 01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:18,480 你知道是怎樣的嗎？ 1387 01:20:18,855 --> 01:20:19,898 怎樣？ 1388 01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:24,402 首先把你整個人埋在沙裡面 1389 01:20:24,778 --> 01:20:26,988 埋好，只露出個死人頭 1390 01:20:27,155 --> 01:20:30,242 然後用刀在頭頂中間切開 1391 01:20:30,408 --> 01:20:31,743 扒開這死人縫 1392 01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:34,830 再用水銀灌進傷口裡 1393 01:20:35,747 --> 01:20:38,208 你整個人就會奇癢難止 1394 01:20:38,542 --> 01:20:39,626 難止又怎樣？ 1395 01:20:39,709 --> 01:20:41,670 難止就拼命掙扎找洞鑽 1396 01:20:41,753 --> 01:20:44,047 恰巧看到頭頂有個洞，連皮也不要了 1397 01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:45,382 一下子就鑽出來了 1398 01:20:46,049 --> 01:20:50,887 不知何年何月得償所望 1399 01:20:51,513 --> 01:20:52,806 你覺不覺得癢啊？ 1400 01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:56,810 很癢啊，大人 1401 01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,062 卑職看清楚了 1402 01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:00,814 鰲拜的總資產 1403 01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:03,650 是1380萬兩 1404 01:21:03,900 --> 01:21:05,777 還有很多是沒有記錄的 1405 01:21:05,861 --> 01:21:08,196 卑職建議把全部都搬到大人府上 1406 01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,948 待大人點算清楚才呈上去 1407 01:21:10,031 --> 01:21:11,199 -大人… -好… 1408 01:21:15,203 --> 01:21:16,913 怎麼有這麼多人跪在這裡？ 1409 01:21:17,247 --> 01:21:19,875 回稟大人，這些全是鰲拜的老婆 1410 01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:22,502 這麼年輕？ 1411 01:21:22,919 --> 01:21:24,546 一定是被鰲拜強迫的 1412 01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:26,423 真可憐 1413 01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,426 一看就知道她睡眠不足 1414 01:21:29,551 --> 01:21:31,761 馬上送到我家去 讓我跟她睡兩個晚上 1415 01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:36,975 鰲拜果然心狠手辣 1416 01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:38,810 你看把她打得腫成這個樣子 1417 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:40,645 馬上送到我家，讓我替她醫治 1418 01:21:43,773 --> 01:21:45,191 金毛獅王啊 1419 01:21:46,026 --> 01:21:48,737 鰲拜通藩賣國 這個一定是洋鬼子女間諜 1420 01:21:48,820 --> 01:21:50,530 送到我家，好讓我嚴刑拷問 1421 01:21:53,450 --> 01:21:54,701 連黑鬼也有？ 1422 01:21:54,868 --> 01:21:55,994 也送到我家 1423 01:21:56,202 --> 01:21:58,246 -這麼黑也要？ -燈熄滅了都是一樣的 1424 01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,251 鰲拜這個王八 1425 01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:06,004 果然從八歲到八十歲都不肯放過 1426 01:22:06,212 --> 01:22:07,339 大人，你有點誤會 1427 01:22:07,422 --> 01:22:09,466 這不是鰲拜的老婆，是鰲拜的媽 1428 01:22:09,549 --> 01:22:10,675 要不要啊？ 1429 01:22:11,384 --> 01:22:12,552 送到你家裡去 1430 01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:13,762 送到我家幹嘛？ 1431 01:22:13,845 --> 01:22:15,513 家有一老，如有一寶 1432 01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:18,600 現在送個寶給你，該請我吃宵夜了 1433 01:22:18,975 --> 01:22:20,101 好啊… 1434 01:22:20,352 --> 01:22:21,645 好什麼？信不信我扁妳？ 1435 01:22:24,981 --> 01:22:26,066 啟稟韋大人 1436 01:22:26,149 --> 01:22:28,485 在鰲拜的寶庫裡找到一把洋槍 1437 01:22:28,568 --> 01:22:29,986 一件天蠶寶甲 1438 01:22:31,154 --> 01:22:33,281 什麼都打不透的天蠶寶甲 1439 01:22:34,532 --> 01:22:36,826 還有什麼都打得穿的洋槍？ 1440 01:22:37,285 --> 01:22:41,206 如果用這把洋槍打這件寶甲 你覺得會有什麼事情發生呢？ 1441 01:22:41,373 --> 01:22:42,499 這很簡單 1442 01:22:42,582 --> 01:22:46,461 找一個不怕死的勇士穿上寶甲 大人開一槍試試就知道了 1443 01:22:47,420 --> 01:22:48,672 對啊 1444 01:22:53,009 --> 01:22:54,511 大人，瞄準一點 1445 01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:01,267 啟稟韋大人 1446 01:23:01,434 --> 01:23:03,853 在鰲拜的秘室中 找到一本《四十二章經》 1447 01:23:10,944 --> 01:23:13,571 這本不是《四十二章經》 這本是《金剛經》 1448 01:23:13,655 --> 01:23:14,781 -知道嗎？ -大人，是… 1449 01:23:14,948 --> 01:23:16,449 我拿回家給我媽念 1450 01:23:18,743 --> 01:23:20,161 不會是打中了吧？ 1451 01:23:21,037 --> 01:23:21,871 是的，大人 1452 01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:24,749 剛才那一槍不偏不倚地打中了多大人 1453 01:23:28,211 --> 01:23:30,255 想不到連天蠶寶甲都罩不住 1454 01:23:30,338 --> 01:23:31,923 幫我把他好好地葬了 1455 01:23:32,007 --> 01:23:32,841 知道 1456 01:23:32,924 --> 01:23:34,843 還有，他家裡的東西別亂動 1457 01:23:34,926 --> 01:23:36,261 過兩天再去他家抄家 1458 01:23:36,344 --> 01:23:37,262 是，大人 1459 01:23:41,141 --> 01:23:42,934 來，小寶… 1460 01:23:43,101 --> 01:23:44,936 -韋大人，讓我陪你… -讓我跟我姐姐說句話 1461 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,397 -大家先讓一讓啊 -走開一點… 1462 01:23:47,814 --> 01:23:49,482 小寶，你真的當官了？ 1463 01:23:49,733 --> 01:23:52,193 是，還貪污了幾千萬兩 1464 01:23:56,239 --> 01:23:57,657 不過現在我要跑路了 1465 01:23:57,741 --> 01:23:59,325 -專程來帶妳一起的 -我？ 1466 01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:05,165 姐… 1467 01:24:06,416 --> 01:24:07,751 暈過去而已，還沒死 1468 01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:09,169 快找人來救醒她 1469 01:24:09,252 --> 01:24:10,211 小寶 1470 01:24:10,795 --> 01:24:13,089 太近了，看不清楚，閣下是誰？ 1471 01:24:16,009 --> 01:24:17,635 師父，是你啊？ 1472 01:24:18,803 --> 01:24:21,389 你在宮中所做的好事，我全都知道了 1473 01:24:22,182 --> 01:24:23,767 我不大明白 1474 01:24:24,100 --> 01:24:26,478 你眉心有股黑氣，是不是中了毒？ 1475 01:24:26,853 --> 01:24:27,771 是啊… 1476 01:24:27,854 --> 01:24:31,107 我中了慢性化骨綿掌 師父，好淒涼啊 1477 01:24:32,108 --> 01:24:33,151 你看 1478 01:24:33,359 --> 01:24:34,986 師父，想辦法救救我吧 1479 01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:48,041 幹什麼？ 1480 01:24:48,333 --> 01:24:49,542 毒已經解了 1481 01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:54,839 我就知道一定能治好的 1482 01:24:54,923 --> 01:24:55,924 謝謝師父 1483 01:24:56,007 --> 01:24:57,717 跟我回去，我有事跟你談 1484 01:25:00,011 --> 01:25:02,555 我陳近南以總舵主的身分… 1485 01:25:03,932 --> 01:25:06,184 升韋小寶為青木堂香主 1486 01:25:06,559 --> 01:25:08,228 -恭喜韋香主 -恭喜韋香主 1487 01:25:08,645 --> 01:25:09,813 青木堂香主？ 1488 01:25:10,688 --> 01:25:12,899 這一個就是青木堂的令牌 1489 01:25:14,651 --> 01:25:16,111 本會的大敵鰲拜 1490 01:25:16,194 --> 01:25:19,364 雖然被韋香主制服 現在被關在天牢裡 1491 01:25:19,697 --> 01:25:20,865 但是有消息道 1492 01:25:21,199 --> 01:25:24,327 鰲拜的師弟及七大紅衣喇嘛 將會去營救他 1493 01:25:24,869 --> 01:25:26,955 所以韋香主要先下手為強 1494 01:25:27,539 --> 01:25:29,457 將鰲拜這個奸賊正法 1495 01:25:29,707 --> 01:25:32,210 同時將滿清狗皇帝剷除 1496 01:25:32,335 --> 01:25:33,837 剷除！ 1497 01:25:33,962 --> 01:25:36,381 要澈底地將他們剷了再除 1498 01:25:36,464 --> 01:25:37,298 沒錯 1499 01:25:37,382 --> 01:25:39,884 不過只怕小弟一個人的力量有限 1500 01:25:40,510 --> 01:25:43,388 你這個王八蛋，左刮右搜 搜刮了這麼多油水 1501 01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:46,015 現在銀子和女人都有了 你還不想出力？ 1502 01:25:46,099 --> 01:25:48,268 銀子是有一些，混口飯吃而已 1503 01:25:48,351 --> 01:25:49,727 女人就沒有了 1504 01:25:51,437 --> 01:25:52,730 -出來 -誰？ 1505 01:25:59,028 --> 01:26:00,530 -雙兒拜見公子 -雙兒拜見公子 1506 01:26:00,738 --> 01:26:03,283 她們兩個是雙胞胎姐妹 生來就是連體 1507 01:26:03,741 --> 01:26:04,784 幸好 1508 01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:07,036 得到我們本會神醫 1509 01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:08,496 施術將她們分開 1510 01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,832 所以她們的一言一語，一舉一動 1511 01:26:10,915 --> 01:26:12,667 吃飯睡覺都是一起的 1512 01:26:13,126 --> 01:26:14,586 就算是動手打架 1513 01:26:14,878 --> 01:26:17,630 也比普通兩個人厲害一倍 1514 01:26:18,423 --> 01:26:20,758 我現在就賜給你當貼身護法 1515 01:26:21,176 --> 01:26:23,052 幫助你剷除鰲拜 1516 01:26:23,136 --> 01:26:24,637 殺了那個狗皇帝 1517 01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:27,307 師父，到那邊聊一聊，來吧 1518 01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:31,603 喂，你這不是明擺著 找兩個人來監視我嗎？ 1519 01:26:31,686 --> 01:26:34,022 老老實實說 我刮了多少跟你五五分帳 1520 01:26:34,105 --> 01:26:36,149 你別再讓我入宮了行不行？ 1521 01:26:36,733 --> 01:26:38,276 六四也可以商量的 1522 01:26:39,819 --> 01:26:40,778 想七三？ 1523 01:26:41,029 --> 01:26:42,614 太貪了吧？ 1524 01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:47,493 難道要八二？你也太沒人性了 1525 01:26:48,953 --> 01:26:51,247 該不是要九一吧？那我寧可入宮了 1526 01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:53,333 是你說的，我可沒說 1527 01:26:56,294 --> 01:26:57,462 各位兄弟 1528 01:26:57,629 --> 01:26:59,255 馬上召集所有人馬 1529 01:26:59,339 --> 01:27:02,133 明晚二更時分，聚集在城門之外 1530 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:04,636 韋香主，你就放煙火為訊號 1531 01:27:04,719 --> 01:27:06,804 到時候，我們就殺入皇城 1532 01:27:06,971 --> 01:27:09,349 直取鰲拜跟狗皇帝的人頭 1533 01:27:09,432 --> 01:27:12,227 -取他人頭！ -取他人頭！ 1534 01:27:12,310 --> 01:27:15,021 -取他人頭！ -取他人頭！ 1535 01:27:15,104 --> 01:27:16,189 這下慘了 1536 01:27:20,735 --> 01:27:23,446 我說了不會偷溜的，還綁著我幹嘛？ 1537 01:27:23,529 --> 01:27:24,948 都已經進了宮了 1538 01:27:25,031 --> 01:27:26,783 妳們還是不相信我嗎？ 1539 01:27:27,116 --> 01:27:28,076 -公子請自重 -公子請自重 1540 01:27:28,159 --> 01:27:29,535 -如果公子真的不逃 -如果公子真的不逃 1541 01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:31,371 -雙兒馬上為公子鬆綁 -雙兒馬上為公子鬆綁 1542 01:27:31,454 --> 01:27:32,372 喂 1543 01:27:32,455 --> 01:27:36,042 我韋小寶外號稱鐵齒金不換 誠實可靠小郎君 1544 01:27:36,125 --> 01:27:37,502 並非是浪得虛名的 1545 01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:40,421 我說過的話一定算數是人所共知的 1546 01:27:40,505 --> 01:27:41,464 -好 -好 1547 01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:52,850 妳們不讓我走，無非就是想為國盡忠 1548 01:27:52,934 --> 01:27:55,103 那妳們也得證明一件事讓我看看才行 1549 01:27:55,853 --> 01:27:56,771 -什麼啊？ -什麼啊？ 1550 01:27:57,230 --> 01:27:59,399 我要看看妳們是否真的有心靈感應 1551 01:27:59,482 --> 01:28:01,943 妳癢就妳會痛，妳痛就妳衝動 1552 01:28:04,779 --> 01:28:06,698 光說是沒用的，妳說對吧？ 1553 01:28:07,031 --> 01:28:08,241 -要不要試看看？ -要不要試看看？ 1554 01:28:08,491 --> 01:28:09,409 好 1555 01:28:09,492 --> 01:28:11,286 妳坐在這裡，別動 1556 01:28:11,536 --> 01:28:12,578 妳跟我上來 1557 01:28:15,331 --> 01:28:16,291 別動啊 1558 01:28:29,178 --> 01:28:30,430 -公子，別啊 -公子，別啊 1559 01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:39,564 -公子，不要 -公子，不要 1560 01:28:39,647 --> 01:28:40,648 真的啊 1561 01:28:42,567 --> 01:28:43,776 -用力一點 -用力一點 1562 01:28:44,068 --> 01:28:45,361 -用力一點 -用力一點 1563 01:28:45,945 --> 01:28:47,280 -別停下來 -別停下來 1564 01:28:47,530 --> 01:28:48,656 -用力一點 -用力一點 1565 01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:51,075 -用力一點 -用力一點 1566 01:28:52,285 --> 01:28:53,494 -別停下來 -別停下來 1567 01:28:53,786 --> 01:28:55,163 是時候了 1568 01:28:55,246 --> 01:28:56,456 -別停下來 -別停下來 1569 01:29:10,261 --> 01:29:13,681 這個實驗證明了妳們兩姐妹 果然是心靈相通 1570 01:29:14,098 --> 01:29:16,851 更證明了我的抓…龍爪手 1571 01:29:16,934 --> 01:29:18,603 的確是百發百中 1572 01:29:22,565 --> 01:29:25,485 -其實總舵主能把雙兒交付公子 -其實總舵主能把雙兒交付公子 1573 01:29:25,568 --> 01:29:27,236 -我們就是公子的人 -我們就是公子的人 1574 01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:29,238 -只望公子以禮相待 -只望公子以禮相待 1575 01:29:29,322 --> 01:29:32,533 -待反清復明後，雙兒一定以身相許 -待反清復明後，雙兒一定以身相許 1576 01:29:36,954 --> 01:29:38,289 為何妳們不早說？ 1577 01:29:38,706 --> 01:29:40,833 來，現在換妳坐在這，別動 1578 01:29:41,209 --> 01:29:42,877 妳跟我進去再做個實驗 1579 01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:44,462 純粹是學術性的 1580 01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:45,421 小寶 1581 01:29:45,922 --> 01:29:47,215 又誰啊？ 1582 01:29:47,298 --> 01:29:48,758 小寶，你在哪啊？ 1583 01:29:49,842 --> 01:29:50,968 皇帝的妹妹 1584 01:29:51,302 --> 01:29:52,428 快躲進去 1585 01:29:52,553 --> 01:29:53,387 快點… 1586 01:29:53,721 --> 01:29:54,931 記住，別出聲 1587 01:30:02,605 --> 01:30:04,190 小寶… 1588 01:30:05,191 --> 01:30:06,692 原來你躲在這裡 1589 01:30:08,361 --> 01:30:09,195 喂 1590 01:30:09,487 --> 01:30:10,321 喂 1591 01:30:10,404 --> 01:30:12,949 這幾天你到哪去了？都不用理我了 1592 01:30:14,450 --> 01:30:16,119 忙嘛 1593 01:30:17,370 --> 01:30:19,705 我在太醫那拿了些虎鞭 1594 01:30:19,789 --> 01:30:22,792 -煎了些湯給你進補 -是啊？ 1595 01:30:25,378 --> 01:30:28,589 好，讓我用手拿著妳的杯子來喝 1596 01:30:30,842 --> 01:30:32,385 左，右… 1597 01:30:32,677 --> 01:30:33,636 前一點 1598 01:30:33,886 --> 01:30:35,221 對 1599 01:30:35,304 --> 01:30:36,722 -謝謝 -不客氣 1600 01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:39,725 房子大，還有回音啊 1601 01:30:39,934 --> 01:30:41,394 古靈精怪 1602 01:30:49,443 --> 01:30:51,237 能讓它涼一點嗎？ 1603 01:30:53,406 --> 01:30:54,532 可以喝了 1604 01:30:55,449 --> 01:30:56,325 好 1605 01:30:56,409 --> 01:30:58,619 讓我拿起杯子來喝 1606 01:31:02,206 --> 01:31:04,250 幹嘛浪費東西？還弄得滿頭都是 1607 01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:08,462 沒有，我為人心軟 所以想把頭弄硬一點 1608 01:31:10,214 --> 01:31:11,215 胡說 1609 01:31:11,549 --> 01:31:13,050 喝完了，好 1610 01:31:13,217 --> 01:31:15,469 讓我把杯子遞還給妳 1611 01:31:18,806 --> 01:31:20,683 你現在貴為韋爵爺了 1612 01:31:21,267 --> 01:31:23,644 還不趕快向我皇兄提親？ 1613 01:31:24,437 --> 01:31:26,022 難道你忘了… 1614 01:31:26,314 --> 01:31:28,858 那天晚上我們已經行過周公之禮了？ 1615 01:31:29,942 --> 01:31:31,110 你是不是想不承認？ 1616 01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:32,904 我叫皇兄把你的頭斬下來 1617 01:31:33,237 --> 01:31:34,280 不用吧？ 1618 01:31:34,405 --> 01:31:35,323 不用？ 1619 01:31:37,700 --> 01:31:39,118 你有別的女人 1620 01:31:39,202 --> 01:31:40,703 沒有，妳傻啊？ 1621 01:31:40,786 --> 01:31:44,081 除妳之外，任何女人 在我眼裡都只是一坨屎 1622 01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,003 你幹什麼？ 1623 01:31:49,670 --> 01:31:50,588 有蚊子 1624 01:31:50,671 --> 01:31:51,589 有蚊子？ 1625 01:31:51,839 --> 01:31:54,967 有種就飛來我胸口前，我一拳打死你 1626 01:31:55,051 --> 01:31:56,385 要嚇唬牠才行 1627 01:31:56,636 --> 01:31:57,470 來啊 1628 01:31:58,221 --> 01:32:01,140 那你還不趕快向皇兄提親？ 1629 01:32:03,309 --> 01:32:04,435 你吐血了 1630 01:32:05,519 --> 01:32:07,772 -火氣大而已 -火氣大？ 1631 01:32:08,814 --> 01:32:11,609 當然了，妳就熬那些什麼虎鞭湯 1632 01:32:12,193 --> 01:32:14,737 你誣賴我吧… 1633 01:32:14,862 --> 01:32:16,364 別再說了 1634 01:32:16,697 --> 01:32:18,866 還不趕快去弄一劑涼茶給我喝？ 1635 01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:21,786 走吧，我快要吐血身亡了 1636 01:32:25,790 --> 01:32:28,334 不要再打了，再打我就死了 1637 01:32:28,584 --> 01:32:29,835 -誰叫你這麼壞 -誰叫你這麼壞 1638 01:32:31,712 --> 01:32:34,715 原來你在這藏了兩個狐狸精 我叫母后殺了你們 1639 01:32:35,216 --> 01:32:36,092 -追 -追 1640 01:32:40,846 --> 01:32:42,932 妳們這些三腳貓功夫 1641 01:32:43,015 --> 01:32:44,517 哪是我的對手？ 1642 01:32:51,691 --> 01:32:53,150 兩個打一個，算什麼英雄？ 1643 01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:54,110 不許吵 1644 01:32:54,193 --> 01:32:56,112 太后有請韋大人！ 1645 01:32:59,782 --> 01:33:01,575 喂，快抓她上床 1646 01:33:04,245 --> 01:33:05,288 有何貴幹？ 1647 01:33:06,747 --> 01:33:08,582 韋大人，太后有請 1648 01:33:08,666 --> 01:33:09,709 又請？ 1649 01:33:09,792 --> 01:33:11,961 -沒什麼要事的話就別… -太后吩咐 1650 01:33:12,044 --> 01:33:15,131 如果韋大人不去的話 就別怪奴婢得罪了 1651 01:33:16,716 --> 01:33:17,675 等一等吧 1652 01:33:20,553 --> 01:33:21,595 -怎麼樣？ -怎麼樣？ 1653 01:33:21,929 --> 01:33:23,723 外面那兩個三八武功非常好 1654 01:33:23,806 --> 01:33:24,682 我們別冒險 1655 01:33:24,765 --> 01:33:25,766 -那怎麼辦？ -那怎麼辦？ 1656 01:33:26,058 --> 01:33:27,893 我跟她們去一下，很快就回來 1657 01:33:28,185 --> 01:33:29,103 -公子小心 -公子小心 1658 01:33:29,937 --> 01:33:30,896 看好她 1659 01:33:42,491 --> 01:33:45,202 微臣韋小寶給太后請安 1660 01:33:45,578 --> 01:33:46,495 -太后 -太后 1661 01:33:46,620 --> 01:33:48,164 恭喜你，韋爵爺 1662 01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:52,084 抄鰲拜的家，油水一定撈了不少 1663 01:33:53,252 --> 01:33:56,380 微臣只知盡忠報國，絕不中飽私囊 1664 01:33:56,547 --> 01:33:59,467 韋小寶的手若有拿過鰲拜的半兩銀子 1665 01:33:59,633 --> 01:34:01,427 保佑我給鰲拜掐死 1666 01:34:02,678 --> 01:34:05,473 那天如果不是我出手制止鰲拜 1667 01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:07,058 你早就被他掐死了 1668 01:34:07,475 --> 01:34:09,393 太后母儀天下，武功蓋世 1669 01:34:09,477 --> 01:34:10,895 微臣感激不盡 1670 01:34:11,937 --> 01:34:14,273 鰲拜手上那本《四十二章經》 1671 01:34:14,357 --> 01:34:16,067 已經落入你手中了吧？ 1672 01:34:16,400 --> 01:34:18,194 《四十二章經》是什麼東西？ 1673 01:34:19,779 --> 01:34:22,490 不要在聰明人面前說謊 1674 01:34:24,116 --> 01:34:26,160 你最先串通海大富 1675 01:34:26,243 --> 01:34:29,038 在我這裡偷了 正紅旗的《四十二章經》 1676 01:34:29,580 --> 01:34:33,793 接著，我知道皇上賜了他手上的 那本正白旗的《四十二章經》給你 1677 01:34:34,126 --> 01:34:38,506 現在收入國庫的鰲拜家產之中 也沒有正藍旗的《四十二章經》 1678 01:34:39,090 --> 01:34:40,341 即是也被你拿走了 1679 01:34:41,050 --> 01:34:45,304 除了雲南吳三桂手上的 正黃旗《四十二章經》之外 1680 01:34:45,721 --> 01:34:48,307 這四本經書，你已經得其三了 1681 01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:52,061 那麼寶藏的秘密 你一定知道得很清楚了 1682 01:34:53,562 --> 01:34:56,399 怎麼這麼難明白？ 太后可否再說一遍？ 1683 01:35:00,403 --> 01:35:01,821 喂，妳們幹嘛啊？ 1684 01:35:05,866 --> 01:35:08,577 右腳“清明”，左腳“反復” 1685 01:35:08,702 --> 01:35:10,454 你還不承認你是天地會的人？ 1686 01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:11,997 太后，請息怒 1687 01:35:13,374 --> 01:35:15,960 是，我承認我是天地會的人 1688 01:35:16,502 --> 01:35:18,796 但太后妳也是神龍教的人 1689 01:35:18,879 --> 01:35:20,256 本來河水不犯井水 1690 01:35:20,339 --> 01:35:23,384 現在妳說得那麼大聲 擺明是要逼我掀出來了 1691 01:35:23,884 --> 01:35:25,386 你說給誰聽？ 1692 01:35:25,678 --> 01:35:29,181 如果我把你殺了 難道你還給皇帝託夢不成？ 1693 01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:31,725 我想妳不會 1694 01:35:32,518 --> 01:35:34,019 要殺妳早就殺我了 1695 01:35:34,103 --> 01:35:35,771 妳不想知道那三本經書的下落嗎？ 1696 01:35:35,855 --> 01:35:36,772 倒茶 1697 01:35:38,691 --> 01:35:40,401 我早就跟蹤你了 1698 01:35:40,651 --> 01:35:43,612 你把這三部經書藏在麗春院裡 1699 01:35:43,863 --> 01:35:45,781 接著出去見了陳近南 1700 01:35:45,990 --> 01:35:48,242 我跟手就拿回來了 1701 01:35:49,076 --> 01:35:50,953 拿到了吧？那就好了 1702 01:35:51,078 --> 01:35:52,288 那就沒事了吧？ 1703 01:35:52,371 --> 01:35:53,539 微臣告退 1704 01:35:58,002 --> 01:36:00,337 你以為我沒看過《四十二章經》嗎？ 1705 01:36:00,421 --> 01:36:03,466 太后的那本及皇帝的那本 我看了無數次 1706 01:36:03,549 --> 01:36:05,676 仍不知道秘密在哪裡 1707 01:36:06,051 --> 01:36:09,638 你要是說出來 也許我還能放你一條生路 1708 01:36:10,473 --> 01:36:11,974 既然太后這麼說 1709 01:36:12,433 --> 01:36:14,018 不如把我殺了算了 1710 01:36:14,268 --> 01:36:15,311 不過別忘記了 1711 01:36:15,394 --> 01:36:17,104 我怎麼說也是韋爵爺 1712 01:36:17,188 --> 01:36:19,231 現在有九萬多人知道我來了這裡 1713 01:36:19,315 --> 01:36:21,400 包括妳女兒，建寧公主在內 1714 01:36:21,817 --> 01:36:23,903 殺了我，妳覺得妳能脫身嗎？ 1715 01:36:23,986 --> 01:36:25,738 你說我就得信？ 1716 01:36:26,030 --> 01:36:27,406 那妳就賭一賭吧 1717 01:36:28,866 --> 01:36:29,992 你放心 1718 01:36:30,075 --> 01:36:32,661 今天是我們神龍教嚴守的齋期 1719 01:36:32,745 --> 01:36:34,497 我們是不可以殺生的 1720 01:36:35,247 --> 01:36:36,332 早說嘛 1721 01:36:36,415 --> 01:36:39,376 嚇得人家小心肝狂跳，真是的 1722 01:36:39,668 --> 01:36:43,422 不過，我相信有個人很樂意殺你 1723 01:36:48,594 --> 01:36:50,471 說，秘密到底是什麼？ 1724 01:36:51,514 --> 01:36:53,849 這是什麼意思？我真不知道啊 1725 01:36:53,933 --> 01:36:54,892 不知道？ 1726 01:36:54,975 --> 01:36:56,769 你是不是想下去陪他聊聊天啊？ 1727 01:36:58,187 --> 01:37:00,689 不必了，跟他又沒什麼好聊的 1728 01:37:01,857 --> 01:37:04,360 感情是可以慢慢培養的 1729 01:37:12,284 --> 01:37:13,911 壯士，饒命啊 1730 01:37:16,455 --> 01:37:18,082 你這個死雜種 1731 01:37:18,916 --> 01:37:20,167 我要殺了你 1732 01:37:22,878 --> 01:37:24,672 我要殺了你！ 1733 01:37:25,005 --> 01:37:26,090 來啊，過來啊 1734 01:37:28,175 --> 01:37:29,426 -我要殺了你 -殺我啊 1735 01:37:29,718 --> 01:37:30,761 我等你 1736 01:37:31,345 --> 01:37:34,557 在我的面前作威作福 你以為我真的怕你會縮陽？ 1737 01:37:34,640 --> 01:37:37,142 真希望你縮到喉嚨上 然後從嘴巴裡伸出來 1738 01:37:37,268 --> 01:37:38,727 -要殺了你 -你這個烏龜王八 1739 01:37:38,811 --> 01:37:40,729 沒人性、吃屎拉飯的吃屎狗 1740 01:37:40,813 --> 01:37:43,482 我待會就拿屎來塞死你這個死雜種 1741 01:37:43,566 --> 01:37:45,776 你爸做妓，你媽生花柳 1742 01:37:45,901 --> 01:37:46,902 你以為我不知道嗎？ 1743 01:37:46,986 --> 01:37:48,487 你三歲就偷看女人洗澡 1744 01:37:48,571 --> 01:37:50,155 四歲就逼女人偷看你洗澡 1745 01:37:50,239 --> 01:37:51,198 五歲你就… 1746 01:37:51,282 --> 01:37:54,034 韋公子這麼久都沒回來 不知道發生了什麼事 1747 01:38:08,757 --> 01:38:10,009 救命啊！ 1748 01:38:10,426 --> 01:38:11,552 救命啊！ 1749 01:38:12,636 --> 01:38:13,554 母后！ 1750 01:38:16,181 --> 01:38:17,266 母后！ 1751 01:38:23,856 --> 01:38:25,149 大人有大量 1752 01:38:25,733 --> 01:38:27,234 大人不記小人過 1753 01:38:27,610 --> 01:38:28,611 我只是玩玩 1754 01:38:39,913 --> 01:38:42,708 你這個龜孫子70歲才想到要去割包皮 1755 01:38:43,500 --> 01:38:46,962 71歲就騙小女孩去看金魚 其實是要非禮人家 1756 01:38:48,339 --> 01:38:50,257 72歲就倒貼去做基佬 1757 01:38:50,341 --> 01:38:52,718 誰光顧你就送一千兩銀子再加顆燒賣 1758 01:38:55,179 --> 01:38:56,639 你罵累了嗎？ 1759 01:38:56,972 --> 01:38:57,890 不是 1760 01:38:58,057 --> 01:39:00,726 想想剛罵你40歲的話罵得不夠絕 1761 01:39:01,060 --> 01:39:03,437 就從那年開始再罵一次，真氣人 1762 01:39:10,152 --> 01:39:12,613 師兄，我們是從布達拉宮趕來救你的 1763 01:39:17,868 --> 01:39:18,952 你沒事吧？ 1764 01:39:19,036 --> 01:39:20,120 這個人是誰？ 1765 01:39:20,371 --> 01:39:22,247 壯士，饒命啊！ 1766 01:39:22,623 --> 01:39:25,793 這個現在是狗皇帝手上的紅人 1767 01:39:26,293 --> 01:39:28,087 把他帶走做人質 1768 01:39:28,170 --> 01:39:29,546 -好 -來，走 1769 01:39:35,135 --> 01:39:36,220 先別走 1770 01:39:37,137 --> 01:39:39,306 前面就是大內侍衛的哨崗 1771 01:39:39,598 --> 01:39:41,100 那裡高手眾多 1772 01:39:41,183 --> 01:39:44,478 就靠你們七個闖關，恐怕闖不過去 1773 01:39:44,687 --> 01:39:46,105 師兄，你的意思是？ 1774 01:39:46,188 --> 01:39:47,523 你們幫我護法 1775 01:39:47,856 --> 01:39:50,526 等我運功逼出身上九枝神龍刺 1776 01:39:50,734 --> 01:39:52,319 只要我的真氣恢復運行 1777 01:39:52,403 --> 01:39:54,071 皇城之內，沒人會是我的對手 1778 01:39:54,154 --> 01:39:56,240 好，那我們就幫師兄護法 1779 01:40:02,496 --> 01:40:03,706 天地會？ 1780 01:40:09,628 --> 01:40:10,504 師父！ 1781 01:40:10,587 --> 01:40:11,463 小寶 1782 01:40:11,547 --> 01:40:12,464 鰲拜？ 1783 01:40:14,049 --> 01:40:16,176 別讓他逼出身上的九枝神龍刺 1784 01:40:16,260 --> 01:40:18,011 不然就沒人打得過他了 1785 01:40:18,804 --> 01:40:20,764 先殺鰲拜，後殺狗皇帝 1786 01:41:57,903 --> 01:41:59,780 師父，需要幫忙就說一聲 1787 01:42:03,033 --> 01:42:04,493 踩住我的鈸，不用管我 1788 01:43:19,067 --> 01:43:19,985 師父！ 1789 01:43:20,402 --> 01:43:21,403 糟了… 1790 01:43:21,695 --> 01:43:23,697 鰲拜刀槍不入，還會縮陽 1791 01:43:24,531 --> 01:43:26,450 -縮陽？ -如果男人一縮陽 1792 01:43:26,533 --> 01:43:28,660 只要拿髮釵往他尾椎大穴戳下去 1793 01:43:28,744 --> 01:43:30,621 就會彈回出來了 1794 01:43:30,746 --> 01:43:31,622 雞雞 1795 01:43:32,915 --> 01:43:33,957 -喂 -喂 1796 01:43:34,041 --> 01:43:35,417 -喂… -喂… 1797 01:43:35,500 --> 01:43:37,002 -你還沒死啊？ -你還沒死啊？ 1798 01:43:37,085 --> 01:43:38,378 -你又瘋了？ -是啊，我又瘋了 1799 01:43:38,462 --> 01:43:39,838 -那就糟了 -那就糟了 1800 01:43:41,006 --> 01:43:42,341 小寶，小心！ 1801 01:43:43,967 --> 01:43:45,636 別殺我的雞雞！ 1802 01:43:48,305 --> 01:43:49,723 不要啊，你打不過他的 1803 01:43:55,020 --> 01:43:56,104 公公，小心 1804 01:44:24,132 --> 01:44:25,634 師父，你殺了鰲拜啊 1805 01:44:29,012 --> 01:44:30,681 你終於把他殺了 1806 01:44:31,306 --> 01:44:32,933 全靠你那位朋友幫忙 1807 01:44:33,016 --> 01:44:34,184 是啊，謝謝你 1808 01:44:34,309 --> 01:44:35,477 那是我好朋友 1809 01:44:36,061 --> 01:44:36,979 師父 1810 01:44:37,187 --> 01:44:39,147 你現在身負重傷 不如先不殺皇帝吧？ 1811 01:44:39,314 --> 01:44:42,109 反正你殺了鰲拜 已經為各位兄弟報了大仇 1812 01:44:44,611 --> 01:44:46,238 你過去看看你的朋友 1813 01:44:46,446 --> 01:44:48,782 師父，你先走，這裡就交給我 1814 01:44:48,907 --> 01:44:51,159 -小寶，你萬事小心 -你也是 1815 01:44:55,622 --> 01:44:56,540 公公 1816 01:44:56,957 --> 01:44:57,874 公公 1817 01:45:03,380 --> 01:45:04,506 小春子 1818 01:45:04,923 --> 01:45:05,924 你又清醒了？ 1819 01:45:07,676 --> 01:45:08,802 你不用怕 1820 01:45:09,261 --> 01:45:11,013 我現在已經脈盡碎 1821 01:45:11,763 --> 01:45:13,432 已經沒能力再殺你了 1822 01:45:16,268 --> 01:45:17,561 都是我不好 1823 01:45:18,311 --> 01:45:19,271 算了 1824 01:45:20,313 --> 01:45:23,942 可惜我已經不能 化解你化骨綿掌的毒了 1825 01:45:24,359 --> 01:45:26,111 師父已經幫我解了 1826 01:45:27,654 --> 01:45:29,072 -你… -對了 1827 01:45:29,823 --> 01:45:31,783 你了解太后的秘密了嗎？ 1828 01:45:31,867 --> 01:45:33,994 早就知道了，原來她就是… 1829 01:45:36,163 --> 01:45:37,664 神龍教的聖女 1830 01:45:39,624 --> 01:45:41,168 原來是神龍教的聖女 1831 01:45:41,251 --> 01:45:42,252 小春子 1832 01:45:42,627 --> 01:45:43,628 你放心 1833 01:45:44,004 --> 01:45:45,213 除非我死了 1834 01:45:45,338 --> 01:45:47,340 -否則她沒法傷你一根汗毛 -是嗎？ 1835 01:45:48,091 --> 01:45:50,385 妳還不走？他一出手妳就沒命了 1836 01:45:51,803 --> 01:45:52,763 不是吧？ 1837 01:45:52,846 --> 01:45:54,431 公公… 1838 01:45:56,224 --> 01:45:57,434 妳還不趕快走？ 1839 01:45:57,517 --> 01:45:59,436 他要成了鬼，妳死得更快 1840 01:45:59,853 --> 01:46:02,272 韋小寶，你可真是命大 1841 01:46:02,481 --> 01:46:05,317 把你跟鰲拜關在一個牢房裡 你居然還死不了 1842 01:46:05,484 --> 01:46:07,277 妳別亂來，妳是吃素的 1843 01:46:08,153 --> 01:46:09,488 已經過了子時了 1844 01:46:09,613 --> 01:46:12,699 如果你不馬上交出 三本《四十二章經》的秘密 1845 01:46:12,783 --> 01:46:14,993 你就要去見海大富和鰲拜了 1846 01:46:25,879 --> 01:46:26,838 皇上 1847 01:46:27,089 --> 01:46:28,090 你來得正好啊 1848 01:46:28,173 --> 01:46:29,049 母后 1849 01:46:29,132 --> 01:46:31,343 皇上，韋小寶他要害我 1850 01:46:32,844 --> 01:46:34,638 母后，妳怎會在這裡？ 1851 01:46:35,097 --> 01:46:38,058 皇上，韋小寶和海大富 原來是天地會的人 1852 01:46:38,183 --> 01:46:40,102 他們進寢宮綁走了哀家 1853 01:46:40,185 --> 01:46:42,604 中途遇上了鰲拜跟他的黨羽 1854 01:46:42,687 --> 01:46:44,981 兩幫人打了起來，全都死光了 1855 01:46:45,065 --> 01:46:47,400 韋小寶還想殺了哀家滅口 1856 01:46:47,609 --> 01:46:48,610 什麼？ 1857 01:46:49,027 --> 01:46:51,530 皇上，廢話我不想多說了 1858 01:46:51,863 --> 01:46:53,490 實情是這傢伙假扮太后 1859 01:46:53,573 --> 01:46:55,242 她其實是神龍教的聖女 1860 01:46:57,285 --> 01:46:58,286 不是吧？ 1861 01:46:58,453 --> 01:46:59,412 御林軍戒備 1862 01:46:59,496 --> 01:47:00,330 -是 -是 1863 01:47:00,956 --> 01:47:04,376 皇上，所有天地會的人 腳底都有“反清復明”四個字 1864 01:47:04,459 --> 01:47:06,878 不相信的話 就叫他把鞋襪脫了給你看看 1865 01:47:08,463 --> 01:47:09,339 小寶 1866 01:47:09,422 --> 01:47:10,882 皇上，不是真的 1867 01:47:11,299 --> 01:47:13,677 來人，把韋小寶的鞋襪給脫了 1868 01:47:14,386 --> 01:47:16,012 皇上… 1869 01:47:16,972 --> 01:47:18,306 等等，喂 1870 01:47:20,600 --> 01:47:21,601 “清明”？ 1871 01:47:21,685 --> 01:47:23,687 另一隻腳就是“反”和“復” 1872 01:47:24,146 --> 01:47:27,107 加起來就是大逆不道的 “反清復明”四個字 1873 01:47:27,899 --> 01:47:29,151 把另一隻也脫了 1874 01:47:29,359 --> 01:47:30,861 不要啦 1875 01:47:34,447 --> 01:47:35,490 “重陽”？ 1876 01:47:38,326 --> 01:47:39,619 小寶雖然沒讀過書 1877 01:47:39,744 --> 01:47:41,163 但是也懂得一個“孝”字 1878 01:47:41,246 --> 01:47:43,665 清明跟重陽是祭拜先人的日子 1879 01:47:43,748 --> 01:47:48,044 皇上，小寶把它們刻在腳底上 是要提醒自己準時去掃墓而已 1880 01:47:48,879 --> 01:47:49,754 母后 1881 01:47:49,838 --> 01:47:52,716 都說她不是太后了 她是用易容術來假扮的 1882 01:47:55,343 --> 01:47:57,679 -皇上，你難道不相信我？ -不相信 1883 01:47:59,222 --> 01:48:00,265 當然不相信 1884 01:48:03,435 --> 01:48:04,811 母后、建寧 1885 01:48:05,145 --> 01:48:06,229 怎又多了一個？ 1886 01:48:06,313 --> 01:48:08,982 皇兄，別相信她，這才是真的母后 1887 01:48:09,608 --> 01:48:11,359 皇上，她是假冒的 1888 01:48:11,651 --> 01:48:13,111 她把我關在寢宮 1889 01:48:13,195 --> 01:48:15,322 假扮我的模樣已經半年了 1890 01:48:16,281 --> 01:48:18,575 皇上，證據確鑿，不用想了 1891 01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:20,118 放箭 1892 01:48:24,915 --> 01:48:27,584 韋小寶，我會記住你的 1893 01:48:30,170 --> 01:48:32,839 又不是我叫人放箭的，冤有頭… 1894 01:48:35,217 --> 01:48:37,010 兒臣不孝，連累母后受苦 1895 01:48:37,093 --> 01:48:38,762 -太后萬福！ -太后萬福！ 1896 01:48:39,179 --> 01:48:42,140 幸好有建寧跟這兩位小太監來救我 1897 01:48:42,224 --> 01:48:43,558 是小寶告訴我的 1898 01:48:43,808 --> 01:48:44,684 小寶？ 1899 01:48:46,478 --> 01:48:48,647 母后，小寶是兒臣的心腹 1900 01:48:49,522 --> 01:48:50,565 韋小寶 1901 01:48:50,941 --> 01:48:53,109 你這次殺了鰲拜、揭穿假太后的陰謀 1902 01:48:53,193 --> 01:48:54,277 立了大功 1903 01:48:54,361 --> 01:48:56,279 朕就封你為鹿鼎公 1904 01:48:58,782 --> 01:49:00,158 謝皇上！ 1905 01:49:00,367 --> 01:49:02,786 韋小寶，我一定會回來的 1906 01:49:02,869 --> 01:49:07,374 下次我再出現的時候 你一定不會認出我是誰 121012

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