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1
00:00:42,229 --> 00:00:47,522
Potatoes, garlic, lemon grass.
2
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,565
Lemon grass!
Where am I gonna get lemon grass from?
3
00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:54,673
Oh to hell with it, we'll have to have it
without lemon grass.
4
00:00:56,201 --> 00:01:01,323
- What are you doing up this early? It�s only 6:30!
- I couldn't sleep. I'm worried about tonight.
5
00:01:01,358 --> 00:01:05,297
You don�t have to worry, sweetheart.
It�s only your Mum and Dad coming for dinner.
6
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,764
It's not only my Mum and
Dad coming for dinner.
7
00:01:07,799 --> 00:01:10,501
Why, they�re bringing
the neighbours and all, are they?
8
00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:12,870
I mean, it's not that simple!
9
00:01:12,905 --> 00:01:16,121
My parents and I didn't see each other for years,
didn't even talk.
10
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:18,220
I know. But you've kissed
and made up now, ain't you?
11
00:01:18,255 --> 00:01:20,888
You and Damien,
you went up there for the weekend at their house.
12
00:01:20,923 --> 00:01:24,528
I know. But now they're coming here!
They've never been to the flat before.
13
00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:28,777
I've never cooked for them before...
They've never met you before.
14
00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:34,806
Exactly! I'll be right by your side.
What did you tell them about me?
15
00:01:35,837 --> 00:01:38,232
Well... I said your name is Derek...
16
00:01:38,804 --> 00:01:40,546
That's about it really.
17
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:44,749
Well, with a bloke like me
that's all you need to know really, innit?
18
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:50,951
- What are you gonna do us to eat?
- Noisettes of lamb in red wine and cognac.
19
00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:54,683
You don't need to go to that trouble, sweetheart,
a bacon sandwich will do me...
20
00:01:56,190 --> 00:02:02,081
Oh I see, that�s for tonight! Lamb in wine.
That�s gonna be lovely jubbly.
21
00:02:02,116 --> 00:02:03,831
- Morning all.
- Morning, Unc.
22
00:02:04,035 --> 00:02:07,107
And another thing. You promised you'd get
another table and some proper armchairs!
23
00:02:07,142 --> 00:02:11,013
- We can't eat at that thing.
- Alright. It's taken care of, sweetheart.
24
00:02:11,485 --> 00:02:16,024
Denzil's coming round later on, he�s gonna clear
all this gear out and drop off the new stuff.
25
00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:19,526
Anyway, I don't know why you're going
to all this bother. Really I don�t.
26
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,649
I said we could take 'em out for dinner.
27
00:02:21,818 --> 00:02:24,873
I'm really well in with the manager
at the local restaurant.
28
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,984
No, this is my home now
29
00:02:27,019 --> 00:02:30,076
and if my parents want me back in their lives
they'd better get used to it.
30
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,326
Besides, Spudulike's
always full on a Friday.
31
00:02:33,547 --> 00:02:36,095
That�s true. Anyway.
I'll get us some breakfast then, shall I?
32
00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:38,543
OK. Will you check behind the bar
and see if we've got any cognac?
33
00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:43,343
Yeah, we�ve got plenty of it.
Albert, what do you want?
34
00:02:43,378 --> 00:02:46,383
Well, if we're starting early
I'll have a cognac as well.
35
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:50,482
No, you old git. That's for tonight!
36
00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:54,910
Will you tell Raquel to stop worrying
and fussing about this meal tonight?
37
00:02:55,107 --> 00:02:57,748
You've got nothing to worry about, love.
We'll all lend a hand.
38
00:02:57,783 --> 00:03:00,023
You do the meat and I'll do the gravy.
39
00:03:00,058 --> 00:03:01,816
That�s alright, and I'll do the veg.
40
00:03:01,851 --> 00:03:04,613
I'm a dab hand with a pint of water
and a bucket of cabbage.
41
00:03:04,648 --> 00:03:08,002
The only thing we've gotta worry about
is whether that bloody lift�s working.
42
00:03:08,037 --> 00:03:09,718
Broke down twice this week.
43
00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:13,795
We can't have Cassandra climbing up all those stairs,
not after what she's been through.
44
00:03:14,175 --> 00:03:17,459
- Are her and Rodney coming to dinner?
- Well, I invited them.
45
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:21,146
- But the way they are at the moment, who knows.
- I hope they do - they need to get out.
46
00:03:21,181 --> 00:03:23,223
What d'you mean?
Rodney's out every night!
47
00:03:23,258 --> 00:03:25,533
He's got a lot on his mind, Raquel.
48
00:03:25,568 --> 00:03:28,140
He's got a lot on his mind?
And how do you think Cassandra feels?
49
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,028
She's the one who had the miscarriage!
50
00:03:30,063 --> 00:03:34,445
She needs her husband by her side,
not out drinking in some pub or club.
51
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,433
Yes, I know! But she's a woman, isn't she?
She's stronger than Rodney.
52
00:03:40,703 --> 00:03:43,404
I mean, I've known Rodney all his life.
53
00:03:43,726 --> 00:03:48,027
He's always had this problem about
facing up the things that hurt him.
54
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,275
What he tends to do is walk away
and pretend it isn't happening.
55
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:52,965
That's what he's doing now.
56
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,686
But as soon as he gets it off his chest
he's gonna be fine.
57
00:03:58,069 --> 00:03:59,651
Don�t worry, I�ll get it.
58
00:04:02,684 --> 00:04:04,725
Trotters Independent Traders...
59
00:04:05,394 --> 00:04:09,268
Hello, Cassandra! Cor, you�re up early?
Why are you doing that for?
60
00:04:09,977 --> 00:04:12,991
You what? Oh, right!
61
00:04:13,526 --> 00:04:18,234
Rodney was only out again last night.
Didn�t get home 'til the early hours.
62
00:04:18,415 --> 00:04:20,425
I know, you were with him!
63
00:04:24,492 --> 00:04:26,721
You better talk to her.
You talk to her, will ya?
64
00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:28,838
- I'll take it in the kitchen.
- Yeah, alright.
65
00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:32,006
- What Rodney needs is a counter-worry.
- You what?
66
00:04:32,484 --> 00:04:35,574
- During the...
- If you say 'during the war' once more,
67
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,050
I�m gonna pour this cup of tea right over your head!
68
00:04:38,085 --> 00:04:41,236
- I wasn't going to say during the war!
- Well that�s allright, then.
69
00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:44,700
- Bloody little know all.
- Alright. I�m sorry.
70
00:04:46,575 --> 00:04:52,113
During the 1939-1945 conflict
with Germany�
71
00:04:54,682 --> 00:04:58,378
I was sailing on a frigate,
HMS Sphinx, in the Adriatic.
72
00:04:58,701 --> 00:05:02,437
Now in those days a ship's crew
was full of stress and fear.
73
00:05:02,472 --> 00:05:05,774
I�m not surprised when they saw you walking
up the gangplank!
74
00:05:06,196 --> 00:05:11,636
So our old skipper, Captain Kenworthy,
used to allay all those fears by creating a counter-worry.
75
00:05:11,829 --> 00:05:15,304
Like one day he announced there was
a cholera epidemic on the ship.
76
00:05:15,475 --> 00:05:17,852
Rally?
That must have cheered you all up, didn't it?
77
00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:20,680
It took their minds off
the U-boats and the sharks.
78
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:25,022
It's a good job your Captain Kenworthy
didn�t join the Samaritans.
79
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:29,340
Otherwise you wouldn't be able to get a barge
under Chelsea Bridge for falling bodies!
80
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,211
He's still the same.
81
00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:34,360
Cassandra said he's even stopped
going to see the Councillor at the hospital.
82
00:05:35,072 --> 00:05:39,545
Well, Albert reckons that we ought to tell Rodney
that there's a cholera epidemic in Peckham
83
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:43,742
- �and that should get him out of his mood.
- I said give him a counter-worry.
84
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:47,273
Look, if Rodney thought a close friend
or a relative was ill
85
00:05:47,308 --> 00:05:50,318
he'd start worrying about them
and stop worrying about himself.
86
00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:51,659
Yeah, I see.
87
00:05:51,694 --> 00:05:53,233
So when that person became better
88
00:05:53,268 --> 00:05:55,679
Rodney would have forgotten
what he was worried about in the first place.
89
00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:57,209
Exactly.
90
00:05:57,244 --> 00:05:58,598
It's worth a try.
91
00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:01,953
- It's got to be someone he really cares for.
- Damien.
92
00:06:02,292 --> 00:06:06,169
- How can you ask a five year old to act ill?
- I could pretend to be ill.
93
00:06:06,204 --> 00:06:08,805
Yes, but how would he know the difference?
94
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,093
It's gotta be me, innit?
95
00:06:12,801 --> 00:06:17,602
That�s him now. Alright, we give it a will.
We�ll give it a try. I�m ill, alright?
96
00:06:21,054 --> 00:06:24,583
- Morning.
- Morning, son. How's Cassandra?
97
00:06:25,162 --> 00:06:26,508
Fine, thank you.
98
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:32,118
Good � morning - Rodney.
How are you?
99
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,584
I�m alright.
100
00:06:35,317 --> 00:06:39,779
- Del's not very well, Rodney.
- Oh, I'll go home then.
101
00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:44,471
That�s alright, I might make a recovery.
102
00:06:45,452 --> 00:06:47,444
We called a doctor in last night.
103
00:06:47,843 --> 00:06:50,875
I bet that you're wondering
what he said, aren�t you?
104
00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:54,723
What?
105
00:06:54,926 --> 00:06:58,416
He said I would live,
but he didn�t recommend it.
106
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,886
Right.
107
00:07:03,786 --> 00:07:07,691
I'm really worried, Rodney.
Has he ever suffered with pleurisy?
108
00:07:07,859 --> 00:07:10,210
Only when he tries to spell it.
109
00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:16,161
- I'll make a pot of tea.
- Alright, sweetheart.
110
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:20,951
Oi, Raquel. I�ll have a cup.
111
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:25,491
Raquel, can I have a cup of tea too, please?
112
00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:27,940
It's alright. I'll get it.
113
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,619
Thank you Rodney. Rodney?
Thank you Rodney.
114
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,919
That uncaring little git!
115
00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:39,734
I could be on me last knockings here
116
00:07:39,769 --> 00:07:43,326
and he doesn�t care if I've got
yellow fever or foot-fungus!
117
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:54,922
Alright, Rodders? What you up to?
118
00:07:55,105 --> 00:07:58,690
Cataloguing our stock.
I'm gonna put all of this on computer.
119
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,937
On computer?
We've had this discussion before.
120
00:08:01,972 --> 00:08:07,215
That�s dangerous. That means anyone
could hack in and find out what we've got.
121
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:12,598
If we found someone was hacking into our computer
all the police would have to do is go and arrest Mr Bean!
122
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:19,201
I mean, look, these are the entire records
for Trotters Independent Traders.
123
00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:24,237
I began filing 'em when I first started working
for you 16 years ago. But you told me to stop it.
124
00:08:24,272 --> 00:08:26,428
Because we don't need it, do we?
125
00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:28,089
�Cause it's all up here.
126
00:08:28,124 --> 00:08:32,433
I mean squirrels, they ain�t got computers
but they know where their nuts are.
127
00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:36,576
Well, I'm gonna make a note of everything.
And I'm gonna chuck a lot of this junk out.
128
00:08:37,249 --> 00:08:41,049
You be careful.
One man's junk is another man's treasures.
129
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:48,215
Derek, we have got a pile of Showaddywaddy LPs
under a tyre for a Triumph Herald and an artificial limb.
130
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,678
These are not gonna make big news
on The Antiques Roadshow!
131
00:08:55,844 --> 00:08:58,557
These LPs, they�re collectors items.
132
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:04,924
Well let's see if we can find a one-legged
Showaddywaddy freak and flog them to him!
133
00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:07,868
And if he turns up in a Triumph Herald
we've had a result!
134
00:09:08,802 --> 00:09:11,012
Rodney, what is the matter with you?
135
00:09:12,738 --> 00:09:14,869
- What is the matter with me?
- Yes!
136
00:09:15,397 --> 00:09:19,193
- Didn't anybody tell ya?
- Rodney, I�m sorry�
137
00:09:19,228 --> 00:09:22,633
My wife was rushed to hospital
a fortnight ago and we lost...
138
00:09:23,816 --> 00:09:26,673
There's nothing wrong with me, Del, right?
Everything's hunky dory.
139
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,222
Rodney, I'm sorry. I didn�t mean that.
140
00:09:31,257 --> 00:09:36,334
I had a dream a few weeks ago.
I dreamt you and Damien ruled the world.
141
00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:38,094
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
142
00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:44,183
You owned companies, corporations,
conglomerates everywhere... It was horrible!
143
00:09:44,218 --> 00:09:48,790
- What d'you mean?
- You know what I was? The messenger!
144
00:09:48,973 --> 00:09:52,942
You and Damien were presidents and chairmen
and I was a bloody messenger!
145
00:09:53,414 --> 00:09:56,846
And then I thought, hold on,
maybe it�s not a dream, maybe it's a prophecy.
146
00:09:57,257 --> 00:10:01,568
You know, like in the Bible when King David
saw seven fat cows and seven skinny ones.
147
00:10:02,414 --> 00:10:06,183
No, that just sounds like he's come out
of the Nag's Head disco!
148
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:10,398
Seven fat cows and seven�
149
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,217
I mean, nothing�s ever gone
right for me, has it?
150
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:21,177
I know what you mean, Rodders.
151
00:10:22,986 --> 00:10:27,388
I'd love a bit of good luck, Del.
Not just for me, for all of us.
152
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,447
I just wish something good would turn up.
153
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,402
So would everyone, Rodney.
154
00:10:35,207 --> 00:10:38,207
That's why they�re all out there
doing the Lottery, ain�t they?
155
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:43,349
I mean, if it were up to me,
what I�d like to do�
156
00:10:43,384 --> 00:10:51,200
I�d like to be able to say that was life's lucky dip.
I�d like to just go, da daaa.
157
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:57,626
There it is, look, that is gonna change our lives.
But it won�t, will it, eh?
158
00:10:58,218 --> 00:11:00,178
�Cause life is not like that.
159
00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:08,736
Have you made any attempt
to discuss this with Cassandra?
160
00:11:08,771 --> 00:11:10,390
Del, will you just leave it alone?
161
00:11:10,718 --> 00:11:14,167
I'm only tryin' to help, Rodney.
You can't keep walking away from this.
162
00:11:14,202 --> 00:11:18,170
I am not walking away from it!
Look, you get the lift, I'll take the stairs.
163
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,778
Hang about. Look, it's here now...
Don�t bother. Come on, look it�s here.
164
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,672
Alright, I won't mention it again.
165
00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:33,758
Look at the state of this lift!
What's going on in their brains?
166
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,242
Just a bunch of half-heads, ain't they?
167
00:11:38,082 --> 00:11:44,193
Look! 'Del Boy is a sex machine'.
Who'd write something like that?
168
00:11:46,798 --> 00:11:48,291
I don�t know!
169
00:11:52,249 --> 00:11:57,467
'Rodney Trotter...'
The lying gits!
170
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,212
What's happening?
171
00:12:08,712 --> 00:12:14,760
It's broken down. The lift, it's broken down�
The poxy bleeding council.
172
00:12:16,245 --> 00:12:18,994
It�s broken down,
that�s the matter with me!
173
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:23,777
- Press the alarm button.
- I'll do it! I�ll press the alarm button.
174
00:12:25,017 --> 00:12:27,552
It's broken! It�s not working either now.
175
00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:32,183
Come on up here!.
There�s a couple of blokes here trapped in the lift!
176
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:36,102
Alright, alright! There's no need to get
in a lather about it.
177
00:12:36,335 --> 00:12:40,515
Someone will press for the lift in a minute,
realise it's not working and call the engineers.
178
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:45,966
- We'll be out soon.
- I just don't like being closed in like this.
179
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:51,312
- I never knew you were claustrophobic.
- I'm not! I just don't like being closed in like this!
180
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:57,107
Del, come on, sit down on the floor and relax.
They'll be here in a minute.
181
00:12:57,142 --> 00:13:04,083
Yeah, yeah, sit down, take it nice and easy,
calm down, just calm down, will ya?
182
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:13,129
�Cause the oxygen, right, falls down to the bottom,
and this way we get cleaner air.
183
00:13:13,164 --> 00:13:15,042
Yeah! Good, good!
184
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:34,957
Your lifts are broken again!
We had to carry that stuff up 12 flights of stairs.
185
00:13:34,992 --> 00:13:39,350
Del said him and Rodney'd be here to help.
Se where are they?
186
00:13:39,907 --> 00:13:41,196
Don�t know.
187
00:13:41,231 --> 00:13:44,250
Listen Raquel, it's not my fault.
188
00:13:44,285 --> 00:13:48,609
Del asked me to deliver that table
and to store this stuff in my lock-up.
189
00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:53,804
And the table and chairs are only on hire,
they've gotta go back by Monday.
190
00:13:53,839 --> 00:13:56,343
They're having a posh do at the town hall.
191
00:14:03,874 --> 00:14:10,458
- They're not here yet, are they?
- Give 'em time. Sit down, take it easy.
192
00:14:11,064 --> 00:14:13,230
Yeah, alright. Take it easy.
193
00:14:15,598 --> 00:14:17,057
Let's play a game.
194
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,860
Play a game?
You got a ball in your pocket or something?
195
00:14:21,506 --> 00:14:26,369
- A different sort of game. I Spy.
- I Spy?
196
00:14:26,643 --> 00:14:28,911
Yeah. Go on, you can go first.
197
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:33,621
Alright then! I spy with my little eye
something beginning with W.
198
00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:37,873
Walls?
199
00:14:37,908 --> 00:14:40,802
Walls. That's right.
There, that's the end of that game then, innit?
200
00:14:41,624 --> 00:14:46,331
- Alright, you choose the game.
- Alright then. What about hide and seek?
201
00:14:46,603 --> 00:14:47,709
I never thought I'd see you like this!
202
00:14:47,744 --> 00:14:50,838
You're acting like a big kid
just �cause we're trapped in a lift for a while.
203
00:14:53,571 --> 00:14:55,618
Yeah, well you don't know how I feel!
204
00:14:56,650 --> 00:15:03,011
I feel... I feel sort of frightened!
You don't know what that's like!
205
00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:04,920
I don't know what it's like?
206
00:15:04,955 --> 00:15:09,563
How d'you think I've felt for the last couple of weeks
since Cassie... since what happened?
207
00:15:11,854 --> 00:15:14,574
I don't know.
I don't know how you've felt, Rodney.
208
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:16,890
Well, I'll tell you, frightened ain't the word!
209
00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:23,391
- D'you know what I did the other night?
- No, but I bet it was depressing!
210
00:15:24,249 --> 00:15:26,832
I sat and read my diaries
from when I was a school kid.
211
00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:28,714
See, I was right!
212
00:15:28,749 --> 00:15:34,646
No, not quite. I actually noticed
moments of hope within those pages.
213
00:15:35,956 --> 00:15:41,948
I mean there weren't many, just the occasional
oasis of promise in a desert of pessimism.
214
00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:46,920
They was simple hopes,
as you'd expect for someone of my age.
215
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:50,381
I hoped for, hairs�
216
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:55,818
hoped I'd do well in my exams�
217
00:15:58,445 --> 00:16:01,357
I even hoped for a good job when I left school.
218
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:07,730
Well, you got hairs, didn't you?
Think how Right Said Fred must feel.
219
00:16:09,806 --> 00:16:11,649
Me and Cass were so happy, Del.
220
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:18,721
We were looking forward and all we could see
in front of us was this big wide highway
221
00:16:18,756 --> 00:16:21,561
and we were just cruising down it, and�
222
00:16:22,142 --> 00:16:27,786
all of the sudden it came to a shuddering halt.
Just like this poxy lift.
223
00:16:30,387 --> 00:16:33,947
Suddenly 'Happy Families'
became 'Dungeons and Dragons'.
224
00:16:36,185 --> 00:16:40,119
And I've never felt sodding pain
like that in all my life.
225
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:50,659
- Is Cassandra hurting?
- Well of course she is!
226
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,496
How do you know?
You haven't talked to her about it.
227
00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:59,919
No, and do you know why?
It�s because... it's because...
228
00:17:00,507 --> 00:17:05,635
It's almost like if I don't talk about it,
it might not be true.
229
00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:11,382
- But it is.
- I know! I know. But if I don't say it...
230
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:18,520
- If you don't say what?
- We lost our baby!
231
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:26,161
But you did. And you have said it.
232
00:17:28,026 --> 00:17:30,333
Yeah. I said it!
233
00:17:36,317 --> 00:17:41,069
You just shield yourself from it, you know.
234
00:17:44,542 --> 00:17:46,511
I've just been lying, ain't I?
235
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,190
Yes. And what about Cassandra?
236
00:17:55,146 --> 00:17:59,308
Not her. Cassandra can't tell a lie.
237
00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:07,005
Raquel can, the moment one leaves my lips.
238
00:18:12,437 --> 00:18:14,832
Both those lifts have
broken down again!
239
00:18:18,461 --> 00:18:22,654
- Is this the stuff Del was talking about?
- Yes.
240
00:18:28,849 --> 00:18:35,940
Cassie seemed so fragile. I wanted to cuddle her
and talk to her about it, but�
241
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,525
I was frightened I might sort of break her.
242
00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:51,025
No. She's strong, Rodney.
Look, it's just a dropped stitch in life's tapestry.
243
00:18:51,787 --> 00:18:53,541
That's what mum used to say.
244
00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:57,828
What do I say to her, Del?
245
00:18:59,607 --> 00:19:05,396
Well, you tell her exactly what you told me.
You can leave out the bit about the hairs, if you like.
246
00:19:08,343 --> 00:19:11,886
You go home right now
and have a heart to heart, alright?
247
00:19:12,245 --> 00:19:15,439
And while you're there, you ask her
if she wants to come round for dinner tonight.
248
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:20,812
- I can�t mate, I�ve got a real problem with that.
- What is it?
249
00:19:21,364 --> 00:19:25,337
- I�m stuck in a bloody lift!
- Oh yeah.
250
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:28,165
Let's have another look at this thing,
shall we?
251
00:19:32,824 --> 00:19:37,524
- Your claustrophobia cleared up quick, didn't it?
- Yeah, I got over the worst of it.
252
00:19:37,933 --> 00:19:41,186
Almost as quick as that flu
you had this morning.
253
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:45,368
Well, these things come and go, don't they?
Look at what this little switch does, here.
254
00:19:51,178 --> 00:19:55,668
You git! You stopped it!
255
00:19:58,099 --> 00:20:03,558
It was the only way I could get you talking!
You can't run away in a broken lift.
256
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:08,371
You git!
257
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:14,076
You git!
258
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:19,229
Come here. Alright?
Come on!
259
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:24,541
What else, what else?
I'm bound to have forgotten something.
260
00:20:24,576 --> 00:20:27,912
Calm down. Everything's fine.
You'll have a hot flush in a minute.
261
00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:30,438
I'm just so nervous something will go wrong...
262
00:20:31,935 --> 00:20:35,440
Del, please don't use
any of your French phrases to my parents.
263
00:20:35,646 --> 00:20:38,827
How�s that, sweetheart?
Aren't they up on the old French lingo, or what?
264
00:20:39,426 --> 00:20:41,674
No...
The meat!
265
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:44,104
I'll get a wine out of the fridge.
266
00:20:44,502 --> 00:20:47,008
Well, everything seems to be going
according to plan.
267
00:20:48,235 --> 00:20:51,757
Damien! Don't do that!
Dear, oh dear.
268
00:20:51,923 --> 00:20:54,130
Look, it's only plastic, you'll break it.
269
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:58,589
- I've made the gravy and put it in the bottom oven.
- Thank you, Albert.
270
00:20:58,786 --> 00:21:01,410
Damien, you go and sit round there, alright?
Go on, that�s a good boy.
271
00:21:01,445 --> 00:21:06,768
Right! Now remember, we�ve gotta go
girl-boy, girl-boy, girl-boy and uncle Albert.
272
00:21:09,441 --> 00:21:10,940
- What�s that?
- Oh God!
273
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:17,104
Calm down the lot of you. I'll answer the door.
Lot of good you'd have been on the Russian convoys.
274
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:24,711
Good evening. Please come in.
275
00:21:25,069 --> 00:21:29,663
- You must be Raquel's parents.
- Yes. My wife Audrey, and I'm James.
276
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,846
Lovely to meet you. Please follow me.
277
00:21:36,072 --> 00:21:39,710
- She did say he was older than her.
- I know, but...
278
00:21:43,668 --> 00:21:46,495
- Hi Mum, Dad.
- Darling.
279
00:21:47,065 --> 00:21:49,923
- Nanny, Grandad!
- Watch out, here comes trouble!
280
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:56,035
Mum, Dad, this is Derek's brother. Rodney,
and his wife, Cassandra. James and Audrey.
281
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,203
- Lovely to meet you.
- Pleasure.
282
00:21:59,425 --> 00:22:06,368
- And this is my... this is Derek.
- Au revoir.
283
00:22:08,575 --> 00:22:10,849
Oh you're Derek.
We thought that...
284
00:22:10,884 --> 00:22:14,066
We thought... we thought
you were busy working this evening.
285
00:22:14,101 --> 00:22:18,551
Oh no, not this evening.
Not on a special occasion like this.
286
00:22:18,586 --> 00:22:23,381
As it is a special occasion I've bought
this rather nice bottle of Porto. It's 15 years old.
287
00:22:23,663 --> 00:22:28,821
Thank you. 15 years old?
We'll have to watch that, it might have acne!
288
00:22:33,114 --> 00:22:38,505
OK, let�s get started.
Shall we start with a nice little aperitif?
289
00:22:41,271 --> 00:22:43,712
I'm knocking them bandy, ain�t I?
290
00:22:47,755 --> 00:22:49,710
Right, there�s the gravy.
291
00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:56,583
- Rodney, would you fill the wine glasses, please?
- Yes of course. More wine Audrey?
292
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:59,029
- Thank you.
- James?
293
00:22:59,257 --> 00:23:02,333
No, I don't think I should.
I've got to drive back to the hotel tonight.
294
00:23:02,368 --> 00:23:04,795
Why don't you get a cab back,
pick up the car in the morning?
295
00:23:05,181 --> 00:23:07,421
- What do you think?
- It's your decision.
296
00:23:07,662 --> 00:23:09,854
What the hell. Pour away, Rodney.
297
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:14,083
Yes, that's the spirit, you know it makes sense.
You can always leave your car outside...
298
00:23:15,434 --> 00:23:18,247
On second thoughts we'd better
put the car in our garage.
299
00:23:18,416 --> 00:23:19,819
Is it not safe outside?
300
00:23:19,854 --> 00:23:22,890
Well, not if you've become attached
to your wheels it's not.
301
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:27,750
There we go, look, excuse the fingers.
302
00:23:29,822 --> 00:23:38,218
I'm just gonna get another bottle of wine.
So why don�t you all� Chappelle Audent?
303
00:23:39,478 --> 00:23:43,166
- So Albert was in the navy?
- Very much so.
304
00:23:43,371 --> 00:23:46,740
I was in the Royal Navy myself,
12 years, first officer.
305
00:23:46,919 --> 00:23:50,707
- You and Albert shall have to have a chat.
- After we've gone home!
306
00:23:52,887 --> 00:23:58,069
It�s going really well out there.
Have them coming, open another bottle of wine.
307
00:23:58,319 --> 00:24:00,887
- What are you doing?
- I've made the coffee.
308
00:24:01,792 --> 00:24:04,232
What do you mean, you made the coffee?
It's too early.
309
00:24:04,416 --> 00:24:06,614
They haven�t finished their mains yet!
310
00:24:06,649 --> 00:24:09,776
It don't usually take us that long
to finish our dinner, does it?
311
00:24:10,002 --> 00:24:14,611
I know that. That�s because we're not
galloping down a Big Mac and chips, are we?
312
00:24:15,746 --> 00:24:21,491
We've got guests, we're taking our time
we�re savouring the food and the ambience,
313
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,410
we're sipping the wine and we're conversing.
314
00:24:24,608 --> 00:24:28,472
Out there, they're having a chat
between each mouthful.
315
00:24:28,936 --> 00:24:31,413
It's sophisticated, it's civilised...
316
00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:37,020
OK, don�t worry.
I'll whack this in the microwave.
317
00:24:39,724 --> 00:24:43,424
Oi! Just a minute.
What coffee d'you make this with?
318
00:24:43,622 --> 00:24:45,252
That jar over there.
319
00:24:46,595 --> 00:24:49,486
This ain't coffee, smell it!
It's bloody gravy!
320
00:24:50,735 --> 00:24:54,717
Yeah, that's gravy.
It's not my fault, it's them jars!
321
00:24:54,752 --> 00:24:57,735
Look at 'em!
How am I supposed to tell the difference?
322
00:24:57,770 --> 00:24:59,711
I�ll tell you how to tell the difference!
323
00:24:59,746 --> 00:25:07,025
This one has on the label Maxwell House Coffee
and this label says Oxo gravy granules!
324
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:09,707
That�s a bit of a giveaway, innit?
325
00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:15,174
- Well, I was in a hurry and I got mixed up.
- I�ll mix you up in a minute.
326
00:25:15,484 --> 00:25:20,992
Wait a minute.
If you've made gravy in the coffee pot�
327
00:25:21,473 --> 00:25:24,014
what are they pouring
over their dinners in there?
328
00:25:28,432 --> 00:25:31,666
- This looks lovely darling.
- Yeah looks great, Raquel.
329
00:25:31,701 --> 00:25:33,181
Thank you.
330
00:25:34,056 --> 00:25:36,192
- Alright?
- Wonderful.
331
00:25:37,384 --> 00:25:39,174
Cushty.
332
00:25:42,870 --> 00:25:47,674
They�re only doing it.
They're only out there doing it now!
333
00:25:47,864 --> 00:25:53,617
They're pouring Maxwell bleedin' House
over their lamb noisettes and veg.
334
00:25:56,061 --> 00:25:57,674
I don't believe you!
335
00:25:58,362 --> 00:26:02,308
Not only have you managed to sink
every aircraft carrier and battleship
336
00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:07,373
that you ever sailed on, but now
you've gone and knackered the gravy boat!
337
00:26:09,372 --> 00:26:12,442
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, I ain't having any of it!
338
00:26:16,697 --> 00:26:18,702
Not yet, darling, wait for Daddy.
339
00:26:18,737 --> 00:26:20,675
So, how long were you in the navy, Albert?
340
00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:26,771
Over 50 years, man and boy. Started in the merchant,
went on to the Royal then back to the merchant.
341
00:26:26,806 --> 00:26:31,731
- Amazing. You must have some stories to tell.
- Oh God yes.
342
00:26:33,131 --> 00:26:36,496
Sorry about that,
couldn�t get the cork out of the wine.
343
00:26:37,867 --> 00:26:41,814
- Del?
- No! No, thank you.
344
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:43,963
I'm trying to give it up.
345
00:26:43,998 --> 00:26:45,594
- Albert?
- Not for me, dear.
346
00:26:45,629 --> 00:26:47,542
Oh yes, you�ll have some!
347
00:26:48,896 --> 00:26:52,175
You know how you like your gravy.
Don�t ya?
348
00:26:58,895 --> 00:27:01,127
You git!
349
00:27:03,279 --> 00:27:04,882
Are you a naval man, Derek?
350
00:27:04,917 --> 00:27:08,775
No. No James,
I'm more of a leg man myself.
351
00:27:13,474 --> 00:27:16,463
No, Dad meant were you in the navy?
352
00:27:17,763 --> 00:27:19,243
No, I wasn�t actually, James.
353
00:27:19,517 --> 00:27:23,338
Though when I was younger
I did consider a career in the services.
354
00:27:25,034 --> 00:27:26,675
Everything alright, Mum?
355
00:27:30,389 --> 00:27:32,367
This is horrible!
356
00:27:42,027 --> 00:27:45,966
I hope you won't be offended darling,
but I'm rather full up.
357
00:27:46,217 --> 00:27:48,051
Same here!
358
00:27:49,665 --> 00:27:54,017
No, no, come on, we�ve got afters to come yet.
We�ve got mandarin segments and Instant Whip!
359
00:27:54,052 --> 00:27:56,192
- No, I feel not that hungry.
- So am I.
360
00:27:56,398 --> 00:27:59,831
Alright... Well, I'll fetch the coffee.
361
00:28:02,150 --> 00:28:03,730
Right.
362
00:28:09,770 --> 00:28:14,003
- Ahoy there, Jimbo.
- Morning, Derek... Rodney.
363
00:28:14,180 --> 00:28:15,465
How are you this morning?
364
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,412
Oh fine. Had a bit of a
jippy tummy last night.
365
00:28:18,610 --> 00:28:20,605
Well, thanks for looking after the car.
366
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,441
Mange-tout, mange-tout, mon plaisir.
367
00:28:23,476 --> 00:28:26,796
So this is your Aladdin�s cave
I've heard so much about?
368
00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:31,526
Yes, this is it. As I was saying Jim,
you and I are in the same sort of business.
369
00:28:31,561 --> 00:28:35,882
I mean, you're an antiques dealer
and I've� got some interesting things.
370
00:28:35,917 --> 00:28:40,077
Yes! Well, must dash, long journey.
You must come and visit us sometime.
371
00:28:40,112 --> 00:28:43,387
Yes I will, you bet.
Now, you mind how you go, eh?
372
00:28:43,771 --> 00:28:48,169
- What's that?
- It's a gas stove.
373
00:28:48,656 --> 00:28:50,666
No, I mean on top of it.
374
00:28:53,735 --> 00:28:58,395
Oh, that's just an old watch I got out of
a house clearance years ago.
375
00:28:58,658 --> 00:29:03,048
I�ll tell you what I have got.
I've got some very nice Showaddywaddy LPs.
376
00:29:07,985 --> 00:29:11,354
- Good Lord!
- Yeah, I know, it�s filthy, innit eh?
377
00:29:11,585 --> 00:29:15,215
Rodney, have you got any of that WD40 there?
We�ll get this thing wiped up.
378
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:22,107
No, I mean, it has the name 'Harrison' engraved in it.
You see that? 'Harrison. AD 1774'.
379
00:29:22,851 --> 00:29:24,864
How did you come by this watch, Derek?
380
00:29:25,924 --> 00:29:31,658
Well, it was about 15, 16 years ago.
There was this old girl down Deptford way.
381
00:29:31,693 --> 00:29:37,253
She owned a pawn shop. Anyway she died,
no family, so they sold off the shop
382
00:29:37,288 --> 00:29:40,656
and her landlord asked me
to clear out her house.
383
00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:43,931
I found that -and a lot of other rubbish-
up in the loft.
384
00:29:45,072 --> 00:29:47,532
- Why, is it any good then?
- Good?
385
00:29:48,007 --> 00:29:51,950
John Harrison was just about
the finest watch-maker of his time.
386
00:29:51,985 --> 00:29:53,794
Of any time.
387
00:29:54,123 --> 00:29:59,091
If this is what I�m beginning to think it is,
God I�m shaking�
388
00:29:59,126 --> 00:30:01,934
Why, you didn�t have that much to drink
last night, did ya?
389
00:30:02,153 --> 00:30:06,774
Have you any proof that this watch
is your property? A receipt, something like that.
390
00:30:07,693 --> 00:30:12,210
No, you see, I don't keep receipts,
they just clutter the place up...
391
00:30:12,959 --> 00:30:18,264
- Do you reckon that�s worth something then?
- Assuming it�s not a copy, yes.
392
00:30:18,619 --> 00:30:22,307
Hold on. 16 years ago?
That's when I started working for you.
393
00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:26,890
Yes thank you, Rodney,
could we leave �This Is Your Life� to Michael Aspel!
394
00:30:27,328 --> 00:30:30,161
I meant, I used to keep files then.
395
00:30:33,798 --> 00:30:36,604
You see, Derek, I�ve always been
very keen on horology.
396
00:30:39,323 --> 00:30:44,214
I thought it was too good to be true.
Now he's gonna tell our bloody fortune.
397
00:30:45,205 --> 00:30:51,511
- No, horology. It means he�s an expert in watches.
- Oh, that sort of horology.
398
00:30:52,170 --> 00:30:55,712
I've got it.
A receipt from the landlord.
399
00:30:56,018 --> 00:31:02,342
For two paintings, four jugs, one rocking chair,
one silver fob watch engraved 'Harrison'.
400
00:31:03,472 --> 00:31:09,043
Good boy, Rodders. What have I always told you?
I�ve always said �always keep the receipts�.
401
00:31:09,514 --> 00:31:10,856
You never know when they�re coming handy.
402
00:31:10,891 --> 00:31:12,446
You read down hear?
Victorian wa�
403
00:31:12,481 --> 00:31:14,305
Yes, thank you very much, Rodney.
There you are, Jimbo.
404
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:16,634
This is marvellous.
I've never been so excited.
405
00:31:16,935 --> 00:31:19,850
I bet Audrey
had a blinding honeymoon then!
406
00:31:23,015 --> 00:31:24,794
What exactly do you think it is then?
407
00:31:24,829 --> 00:31:28,247
I'm almost too frightened to say!
To put it simply.
408
00:31:28,613 --> 00:31:30,705
Back in the early seventeen hundreds
409
00:31:30,740 --> 00:31:34,944
sea captains found it almost impossible
to plot their positions once out of sight of land.
410
00:31:34,979 --> 00:31:39,412
Until John Harrison invented
the first accurate marine timekeeper.
411
00:31:39,447 --> 00:31:42,973
to tell seafarers exactly where they were
on the globe.
412
00:31:43,008 --> 00:31:45,224
He went on to make many of these
instruments,
413
00:31:45,259 --> 00:31:47,449
and we know the whereabouts of all of them�
414
00:31:47,484 --> 00:31:51,262
except the last one,
the Lesser Watch as he called it.
415
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,700
We have the designs for the piece
but the watch itself was never found.
416
00:31:54,735 --> 00:31:58,071
People have been searching for it
for over 300 years.
417
00:31:58,362 --> 00:32:00,389
You don't think that's it, do you?
418
00:32:00,587 --> 00:32:06,454
- If it is, Rodney� God!
- Blimey!
419
00:32:07,575 --> 00:32:11,230
So next thing we know,
Raquel's old man's been on the phone to us.
420
00:32:11,926 --> 00:32:15,792
And he showed it to some experts
and it's only kosher.
421
00:32:15,989 --> 00:32:18,442
This is the watch that's been missing
for over 300 years?
422
00:32:18,477 --> 00:32:21,033
Yes, the Harrison Lesser Watch.
423
00:32:21,371 --> 00:32:23,295
So what is it?
424
00:32:27,685 --> 00:32:29,723
It's a watch!
425
00:32:30,014 --> 00:32:35,351
It's more than that. It lets you know
exactly where you are anywhere in the world.
426
00:32:35,386 --> 00:32:37,873
How did it get lost then?
427
00:32:42,088 --> 00:32:44,852
I don't know how it got lost!
It just did.
428
00:32:45,511 --> 00:32:50,490
If I hadn�t realised it's full value and rescued it,
it could have ended up anywhere!
429
00:32:50,763 --> 00:32:53,428
Yeah, like chucked on top
of an old gas cooker.
430
00:32:54,710 --> 00:32:59,604
- And it's gonna be auctioned?
- That's right. This afternoon, 2:30 at Sothebys.
431
00:33:10,374 --> 00:33:12,431
So, how much do you reckon it's worth, then?
432
00:33:12,466 --> 00:33:15,679
They don't know. �Cause nothing like this
has ever come on the market before.
433
00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:18,365
- Could be 10 grand.
- Yeah, 15!
434
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,854
20 maybe.
435
00:33:19,889 --> 00:33:22,841
Well, on your way back from the auction
drop by my showrooms.
436
00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:26,519
I've got a lovely couple of Skodas
at five grand each.
437
00:33:28,098 --> 00:33:30,657
You won't be laughing like that
when we come back this afternoon.
438
00:33:30,692 --> 00:33:34,359
So you two could be famous then,
well, amongst watchmakers.
439
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,822
Yeah, why not. We discovered it.
440
00:33:37,857 --> 00:33:41,226
And as Andy Warhol said,
'Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes'.
441
00:33:41,261 --> 00:33:45,218
How can everyone be famous for 15 minutes?
There's not enough time in the world, is there?
442
00:33:48,524 --> 00:33:50,986
No, no. He didn't mean
everyone would be famous!
443
00:33:51,021 --> 00:33:53,866
He was generalising upon modern society.
444
00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:56,727
You know, people became famous
for a little while then they disappear.
445
00:33:56,762 --> 00:34:03,603
- Like Rene and Renatta, Simon Dee.
- Or Ghandhi.
446
00:34:05,383 --> 00:34:10,555
So see maybe this time it's our...
Ghandhi?
447
00:34:10,752 --> 00:34:15,613
Yeah. I mean, he made one great film
and then you never saw him again.
448
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:23,988
No, let's go. Let�s go.
449
00:34:35,653 --> 00:34:40,767
22,000�
24,000�
450
00:34:41,876 --> 00:34:43,148
28.
451
00:34:43,710 --> 00:34:45,099
30.
452
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:46,783
32.
453
00:34:48,868 --> 00:34:50,468
35.
454
00:34:51,028 --> 00:34:52,917
35,000...
455
00:34:54,472 --> 00:34:59,402
38,000. One more bid.
456
00:35:00,986 --> 00:35:05,502
40,000... The bid is 40,000 pounds.
457
00:35:05,740 --> 00:35:08,584
- Is that ours, Rodney?
- Don't be stupid!
458
00:35:08,619 --> 00:35:10,862
45,000...
459
00:35:12,701 --> 00:35:16,737
45,000. I'm selling at 45,000.
460
00:35:17,007 --> 00:35:21,416
Sold at 45,000. Paddle number 674.
461
00:35:22,863 --> 00:35:25,694
Now we come to lot 73.
462
00:35:28,266 --> 00:35:32,374
A solid silver pocket marine timekeeper.
463
00:35:33,289 --> 00:35:35,727
This was found in London by two brothers.
464
00:35:36,001 --> 00:35:41,370
Unfortunately they held on the piece for 16 years
believing it to be a Victorian egg-timer.
465
00:35:45,291 --> 00:35:51,757
This is quite simply the most significant discovery
in horological terms of this century.
466
00:35:52,336 --> 00:35:55,740
The watch has been authenticated and accepted
by all the leading experts
467
00:35:55,775 --> 00:35:58,790
as being the last watch ever made
by John Harrison.
468
00:35:58,825 --> 00:36:05,204
It is the fabled H6,
the until now mythical 'Lesser Watch'.
469
00:36:05,689 --> 00:36:07,741
Now, I feel I need say no more
470
00:36:08,011 --> 00:36:12,170
and I'd like to start the bidding
at 150,000 pounds.
471
00:36:19,425 --> 00:36:21,529
200,000�
472
00:36:23,197 --> 00:36:24,549
250.
473
00:36:26,710 --> 00:36:33,394
Oh dear. It was when he said 150,000.
That�s when I came over really bad, me.
474
00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:39,955
It went on, Del. 200,000, 250, 3.
That's when I dragged you out.
475
00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:43,515
You mean it ended up at 300,000 pounds?
476
00:36:43,550 --> 00:36:47,708
- It's still going on!
- Well come on, let's get back up there.
477
00:36:49,801 --> 00:36:55,046
3 and a quarter. The bid is in the room.
478
00:36:56,288 --> 00:36:57,913
3 and a half.
479
00:36:58,330 --> 00:37:01,560
350,000 quid!
480
00:37:03,284 --> 00:37:05,477
3 and 3 quarters.
481
00:37:06,858 --> 00:37:08,916
4, thank you.
482
00:37:09,949 --> 00:37:14,605
The bid stands at four million pounds.
483
00:37:44,362 --> 00:37:49,230
So, what was the final outcome?
484
00:37:50,031 --> 00:37:55,342
It was bought by an anonymous bidder.
He's giving it to the Maritime Museum at Greenwich.
485
00:37:55,377 --> 00:37:57,718
So, at least it stays in the country.
486
00:37:57,753 --> 00:38:00,488
Oh, that�s nice, innit?
487
00:38:02,589 --> 00:38:04,805
No, you Wally!
488
00:38:05,482 --> 00:38:11,056
What was the final score?
What exactly did it go for?
489
00:38:18,492 --> 00:38:21,358
6.2 million.
490
00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:26,823
So that�s just over 3 million each.
491
00:38:29,979 --> 00:38:34,933
- Well we've had worse days, haven't we?
- Oh yeah...
492
00:38:37,590 --> 00:38:39,585
You want to go first or should I?
493
00:38:42,783 --> 00:38:46,295
- Why don�t we go together?
- Yeah, alright.
494
00:38:47,251 --> 00:38:49,552
One, two, three.
495
00:39:10,350 --> 00:39:14,230
Bring your family down.
Have your photograph taken next to it.
496
00:39:17,642 --> 00:39:21,802
It�s beautiful though, ain�t it Rodders, eh?
Luxury and style.
497
00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:25,075
- Very me, don�t you think?
- Yeah!
498
00:39:26,778 --> 00:39:29,090
- Buy it!
- Yeah, shall I?
499
00:39:29,478 --> 00:39:37,001
- You like it. Buy it!
- No, no. Not until that cheque is cleared.
500
00:39:37,198 --> 00:39:41,119
I've got a terrible feeling
that this whole deal's gonna go pear-shaped.
501
00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:45,909
Del, we're dealing with Sotheby's
and the Greenwich museum, not Ronnie and Reggie!
502
00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:52,995
But I mean, if this goes tits-up
I'm landed with a 70 grand debt, ain�t I?
503
00:39:53,477 --> 00:39:59,499
Yeah, take your point. Well, go on in,
you sit in the nice car, see if it suits you.
504
00:40:00,729 --> 00:40:02,608
Yeah, alright then. I will.
505
00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:08,269
Yes, my son. Oh, yes!
506
00:40:12,617 --> 00:40:16,342
That Rolls Royce out there.
I wanna buy it.
507
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:23,361
That�s a good one, Rodney!
Tell me, what drugs are you on this week?
508
00:40:44,214 --> 00:40:50,533
- There you go. It's yours.
- You what?
509
00:40:50,568 --> 00:40:55,329
The Roller. It's yours.
I've just bought it for you.
510
00:40:58,971 --> 00:41:09,946
- You bought this Roller for me? Why?
- A little present. Just to say thanks.
511
00:42:59,490 --> 00:43:04,466
- Yes sir, what can I get you?
- Champagne all round.
512
00:43:11,883 --> 00:43:15,027
Hold on! I think we�ve left
our wallets at home again.
513
00:43:15,364 --> 00:43:18,189
Please sir, that is not a problem.
514
00:43:18,736 --> 00:43:23,765
- On the slate, Mike?
- On the house, Del!
515
00:43:25,198 --> 00:43:29,947
No, no, Michael, we'll pay our way.
And while we're at it, I�ll have all your sandwiches!
516
00:43:30,327 --> 00:43:34,261
- That�s it. Alright. Go get them.
- Let me look where me money is.
517
00:43:34,496 --> 00:43:38,433
No, no Rodney. I'll get the sandwiches,
�cause you bought the Rolls.
518
00:44:41,034 --> 00:44:42,651
Yes!
519
00:47:37,163 --> 00:47:44,368
- Del Boy. It's time to get up. It's 7:30.
- Yeah, alright mum.
520
00:47:45,336 --> 00:47:47,843
It's your fault if you've got a hangover.
521
00:47:47,878 --> 00:47:51,720
You can't have today off.
You're taking your eleven plus.
522
00:47:57,515 --> 00:48:02,190
I never raised a hand to your mother Rodney,
except in self-defence.
523
00:48:11,342 --> 00:48:14,864
Your dad always said that one day Del Boy
would reach the top
524
00:48:15,156 --> 00:48:19,376
but then again he used to say
that one day Millwall would win the cup.
525
00:48:42,143 --> 00:48:47,889
- Alright?
- Yeah. What you doing here?
526
00:48:48,475 --> 00:48:51,368
Raquel phoned, said you'd gone missing.
527
00:48:51,942 --> 00:48:56,733
I said �wait for the ransom note to arrive�
but she said �go and find him�, so�
528
00:48:57,976 --> 00:48:59,420
I guessed you�d be here.
529
00:49:00,567 --> 00:49:03,825
I'm just taking one last
look at the old place, Rodney.
530
00:49:06,462 --> 00:49:08,787
Funny, innit, just think of all them years,
you know�
531
00:49:09,291 --> 00:49:11,716
Us scrimping and scraping.
532
00:49:12,504 --> 00:49:18,656
Going out in all-hours, just trying to earn a few bobs
so we could put a bit of grub on the table.
533
00:49:19,385 --> 00:49:27,087
And all the time down in that garage
we had this famous thing, worth 6 million quid.
534
00:49:28,493 --> 00:49:30,667
Yeah, that crossed my mind and all!
535
00:49:32,241 --> 00:49:33,565
Still!
536
00:49:36,431 --> 00:49:38,154
You put the flat on the market yet?
537
00:49:38,891 --> 00:49:43,785
No, not yet. I just didn�t have the heart to.
538
00:49:44,841 --> 00:49:49,035
You know, I wanted to think about
Mum and Granddad.
539
00:49:50,240 --> 00:49:55,754
I'll do it in a couple of weeks, you know.
I�ll give it to some estate agent.
540
00:49:56,458 --> 00:49:59,248
You know, I�ll let them have the carpet.
541
00:50:03,737 --> 00:50:05,837
Yeah, they won�t mind.
542
00:50:07,393 --> 00:50:11,291
Talking about that, I called into
the travel agents the other day.
543
00:50:11,574 --> 00:50:14,160
Booked us all a holiday in Barbados.
544
00:50:16,057 --> 00:50:17,461
My treat.
545
00:50:17,653 --> 00:50:22,553
- Nice. Flying first class?
- Concorde.
546
00:50:23,166 --> 00:50:24,485
Even better.
547
00:50:29,423 --> 00:50:31,715
Shame about Albert's boat, weren't it?
548
00:50:36,431 --> 00:50:39,327
What a stupid place to put a bridge, Rodney.
549
00:50:40,477 --> 00:50:43,521
I thought that right over a river like that...
550
00:50:47,391 --> 00:50:53,070
- So how are you?
- Me? Just� Wonderful, you know.
551
00:50:53,985 --> 00:50:56,013
Everything�s coming up roses.
552
00:50:57,797 --> 00:50:59,421
Alright, what's wrong?
553
00:51:04,444 --> 00:51:07,445
I always wanted to be a millionaire, Rodney.
554
00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:13,604
I always wanted a Rolls-Royce
and a big house in the country
555
00:51:13,639 --> 00:51:18,511
- and jet off to the Caribbean and all that.
- Well, you've got it.
556
00:51:19,229 --> 00:51:24,522
I know. But it's not like I thought it would be.
557
00:51:27,260 --> 00:51:33,954
All the dreaming and the scheming
and the chasing and the trying�
558
00:51:34,852 --> 00:51:37,319
�that was the fun part, you know?
559
00:51:38,939 --> 00:51:42,840
It was dangerous, it was impossible.
560
00:51:43,962 --> 00:51:49,044
It was like Columbo sailing away to find America,
561
00:51:54,789 --> 00:51:58,233
not knowing whether he was gonna fall
off the edge of the world.
562
00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:02,374
That's how I used to feel.
563
00:52:04,114 --> 00:52:06,385
Well, you fell off a couple of times,
didn't you?
564
00:52:08,376 --> 00:52:11,484
Once a month, bruv. Once a month regular.
565
00:52:14,122 --> 00:52:18,300
You know, now I've done it,
now I�ve achieved what I wanted.
566
00:52:19,847 --> 00:52:26,456
The chase is finished.
The hunt is over.
567
00:52:28,994 --> 00:52:33,110
What am I gonna do now?
Learn to play golf?
568
00:52:34,422 --> 00:52:37,061
Well, you've got the trousers for it at least.
569
00:52:39,087 --> 00:52:42,245
Look, why don't you just
enjoy your retirement?
570
00:52:43,152 --> 00:52:46,134
�Cause I don't wanna enjoy my retirement.
571
00:52:47,521 --> 00:52:53,088
I wanna feel like I used to feel,
all eager and alive.
572
00:52:54,617 --> 00:52:57,892
I want something exciting to happen.
573
00:53:01,089 --> 00:53:05,426
Dear oh dear? What are you doing, unc?
I thought you was a ghost!
574
00:53:05,606 --> 00:53:08,274
He never got the hang of this haunting lark,
did he?
575
00:53:08,843 --> 00:53:10,382
What you two doing here?
576
00:53:10,417 --> 00:53:13,673
Well, never mind what us two are doing here.
What are you doing here?
577
00:53:13,925 --> 00:53:16,733
Well, I just come back to pick up
a few of me belongings.
578
00:53:17,487 --> 00:53:21,754
I thought I'd have one last look
at the flat before you sell it.
579
00:53:24,157 --> 00:53:29,442
Yeah, well, we've had a good look, eh?
Come on, let's lock up and go.
580
00:53:41,890 --> 00:53:45,556
I must have forgot to tell British Telecom
that we�re gone.
581
00:53:46,676 --> 00:53:49,429
Yeah, hello?... Who?
582
00:53:49,847 --> 00:53:53,881
Hello Lennie, how you doing, pal?...
Alright?
583
00:53:54,233 --> 00:53:56,060
Lennie Norris.
584
00:53:57,354 --> 00:54:02,227
You do what? Really?
Hang on.
585
00:54:03,074 --> 00:54:07,878
Listen. He's got 250 electronic carpet steamers.
586
00:54:08,797 --> 00:54:14,839
Now listen, they retail at a 115 quid,
he's gonna let us have them for 25 nicker.
587
00:54:15,790 --> 00:54:18,229
Del, we're not in the
business any more.
588
00:54:20,011 --> 00:54:24,420
I know. Rodney,
we can double our money on this.
589
00:54:26,170 --> 00:54:29,385
Derek, can you hear me over those trousers?
590
00:54:33,844 --> 00:54:36,333
We are not in the business anymore, mate!
591
00:54:42,110 --> 00:54:46,807
Hello, Lenny.
No, we're not interested.
592
00:54:48,699 --> 00:54:53,733
Trotters Independent Traders
has ceased trading.
593
00:54:55,108 --> 00:54:56,737
Bonjour.
594
00:55:04,704 --> 00:55:09,760
Tell you what. Fancy going down to
the Golden Dragon for a Chinese?
595
00:55:09,795 --> 00:55:12,774
Yeah. I'm feeling a bit peckish
now you mention it.
596
00:55:12,809 --> 00:55:17,300
- Yeah, I could do a sweet and sour something.
- Yeah, alright.
597
00:55:18,718 --> 00:55:21,938
I�ll tell you what, Rodders.
Let�s leave the cars here, shall we, and�
598
00:55:22,183 --> 00:55:26,522
- �just take a toddle.
- Yeah, alright.
599
00:55:29,558 --> 00:55:38,219
- Mange Dieu, Mange Dieu, what a fool I've been...
- What's wrong now?
600
00:55:38,402 --> 00:55:43,910
Well, here I am thinking now we've got
all this money that spells like the end of it.
601
00:55:44,356 --> 00:55:47,774
But it don't, does it? It's like the beginning.
602
00:55:48,308 --> 00:55:53,659
Because for the first time in our lives
we've got money to invest!
603
00:55:53,884 --> 00:55:56,516
- No!
- Dangerous business, investment!
604
00:55:56,551 --> 00:55:59,799
Come on Rodders. You remember all those years
you used to say to me�
605
00:55:59,834 --> 00:56:03,182
- �'Del Boy, we should be investing�.
- No! No I never said that!
606
00:56:03,217 --> 00:56:06,618
Well, it must have been me then.
I remember it was one of us that got it right.
607
00:56:06,788 --> 00:56:10,195
Now we can invest big-time
in the futures market.
608
00:56:10,580 --> 00:56:16,135
- We can get into Hong Kong, Singapore, Peking.
- I don�t want to invest, alright?
609
00:56:16,928 --> 00:56:19,445
Rodders, have I ever let you down?
610
00:56:19,682 --> 00:56:26,093
Yes! A couple of years ago when you told me
I'd won a holiday in a painting competition
611
00:56:26,128 --> 00:56:30,837
but forgot to mention that, for an entire week,
I would have to pretend to be 14.
612
00:56:31,565 --> 00:56:37,015
That's always been your problem, Rodney.
You�re always dwelling on the past.
613
00:56:37,274 --> 00:56:41,331
- Mum said to me on her deathbed...
- Oi! Don't start on about Mum and her deathbed!
614
00:56:41,366 --> 00:56:43,953
She said to me on her deathbed,
she said to me�'Del Boy,
615
00:56:43,988 --> 00:56:49,017
if ever you and little Rodney become rich,
you must invest in the futures market!'
616
00:56:49,195 --> 00:56:53,214
You liar! �Cause there wasn't
a futures market when Mum was alive!
617
00:56:53,249 --> 00:56:57,099
Now, what you don�t see,
that shows you what a visionary she was!
618
00:56:57,592 --> 00:57:00,253
Come on Rodney, this is our big chance.
619
00:57:00,956 --> 00:57:02,903
He who dares wins!
620
00:57:03,392 --> 00:57:07,132
This time next year we could be billionaires!
621
00:57:13,629 --> 00:57:17,430
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