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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:00:03,287 --> 00:00:06,085 # Stick a pony in me pocket 3 00:00:07,287 --> 00:00:10,518 # I'll fetch the suitcase from the van 4 00:00:10,687 --> 00:00:14,680 # 'Cause if you want the best 'uns but you don't ask questions 5 00:00:14,847 --> 00:00:18,157 # Then, brother, I'm your man 6 00:00:18,327 --> 00:00:22,036 # 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery 7 00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:25,882 # It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea 8 00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:29,801 # But here's the one what's driving me berserk 9 00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:33,164 # Why do only fools and horses work? # 10 00:00:37,207 --> 00:00:43,203 (VICAR)... for thou hast vouchsafed to call us to the knowledge of thy grace and faith in thee. 11 00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:47,599 Increase this knowledge, and confirm this faith in us ever more. 12 00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:51,555 Give thy Holy Spirit to this infant that he may be born again 13 00:00:51,727 --> 00:00:54,844 and be made an heir of everlasting salvation. 14 00:00:55,007 --> 00:00:58,556 Through our Lord Jesus Christ, who liveth and reigneth 15 00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:04,120 with thee and the Holy Spirit now and for ever, amen. 16 00:01:05,087 --> 00:01:06,725 Godparents, please. 17 00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:09,447 - Remember what to say? - Yeah. 18 00:01:09,607 --> 00:01:13,646 (BABY CRIES) 19 00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:33,277 Be careful, Rodney. You drop him and I'll drop you! 20 00:01:33,447 --> 00:01:35,403 (RAQUEL) Del! 21 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:39,037 He dropped a whole Royal Doulton dinner service once. 22 00:01:39,207 --> 00:01:42,961 - Nearly ruined it! - (RAQUEL) Shut up! 23 00:01:43,127 --> 00:01:46,039 (CASSANDRA) Look at his little face! 24 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,606 Mmm. 25 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:49,166 (BABY YELLS) 26 00:01:49,327 --> 00:01:53,718 Dearly beloved, ye have brought this child to be baptised. 27 00:01:53,887 --> 00:01:59,007 Ye have prayed that our Lord Jesus Christ would vouchsafe to receive him... 28 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,727 Going down the pub, Alan? 29 00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:04,082 Yeah, we'll be there. 30 00:02:05,127 --> 00:02:08,278 Going down the pub, are we? 31 00:02:08,447 --> 00:02:11,086 Got to be polite to Raquel and Del. 32 00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:13,363 Just to wet the baby's head. 33 00:02:13,527 --> 00:02:15,597 Roughly translated, that means, 34 00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:19,840 "I can't wait to get down the Nag's Head and get legless with Del!" 35 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:24,478 Take your time, Pam. We've got to christen the baby first! 36 00:02:25,287 --> 00:02:27,005 Did you hear that?! 37 00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:32,525 Yes. You're always on about me getting drunk. When was the last time that happened? 38 00:02:32,687 --> 00:02:36,475 - The last time you went there with Del! - I didn't! 39 00:02:36,647 --> 00:02:39,639 ...and obediently keep his commandments. 40 00:02:39,807 --> 00:02:43,561 Dost thou renounce the devil and all his works? 41 00:02:49,527 --> 00:02:51,040 I renounce them all. 42 00:02:51,207 --> 00:02:57,396 Dost thou renounce the vain pomp and glory and the carnal desires of the flesh? 43 00:02:58,447 --> 00:03:00,438 Yes. 44 00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:02,643 - No! - We do! 45 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:07,562 - "I renounce them all." - Yeah, me, too. 46 00:03:07,727 --> 00:03:10,321 It's lovely, innit? 47 00:03:10,487 --> 00:03:12,318 Stunning (!) 48 00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:15,318 Don't you feel anything? 49 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:21,083 Yes, I feel a great urgency to get out of here and finish my packing! 50 00:03:21,247 --> 00:03:24,159 You do realise we're going on holiday tomorrow? 51 00:03:24,327 --> 00:03:28,525 I've finished the packing! Stop moaning or I'll get annoyed. 52 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:33,564 Do you remember Tyler's christening? 53 00:03:33,727 --> 00:03:36,958 Yeah. Better church than this, weren't it? 54 00:03:37,127 --> 00:03:40,563 Godparents, will you please name this child? 55 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:44,160 Yes. It's Damien Derek Trotter. 56 00:03:45,327 --> 00:03:47,522 Damien Derek? 57 00:03:47,687 --> 00:03:50,076 Yes. 58 00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:52,880 Damien Derek! 59 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,646 Fine. 60 00:04:05,087 --> 00:04:07,999 I baptise thee, Damien Derek, 61 00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:12,126 in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 62 00:04:12,287 --> 00:04:16,280 We receive this child in the congregation of Christ's flock 63 00:04:16,447 --> 00:04:19,041 and do sign him with the sign of the cross. 64 00:04:19,207 --> 00:04:21,198 (MENACING CHORAL MUSIC) 65 00:04:22,687 --> 00:04:25,406 What is wrong with you, Rodney? 66 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,558 Nothing! 67 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:38,005 - Mind the paintwork! - Come on, Mickey! Get a move on! 68 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,920 I'm just setting the automatic timer! 69 00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:43,476 He's no David Bailey. 70 00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:46,923 David Bailey! More like Bathe-it-Daily! 71 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:50,397 Ready? Everybody smile! 72 00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:54,765 - Smile, Trigger! - I AM smiling! 73 00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:02,883 Thank you, Reverend. That was a cracking display. 74 00:05:03,047 --> 00:05:05,561 It was a beautiful ceremony. Thank you. 75 00:05:05,727 --> 00:05:08,639 My pleasure. Perhaps I'll see you again soon? 76 00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:13,801 You mean the wedding? Don't hold your breath on it -she's still married! 77 00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:16,686 I'm waiting for my divorce to come through. 78 00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:19,236 Yeah, almost pukka! 79 00:05:19,407 --> 00:05:21,477 If you need me, I'll be here. 80 00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:24,798 - God bless you both. - Thank you, Reverend. 81 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:29,916 I'll be in to see you in a minute. I've got something I want to talk to you about. 82 00:05:30,087 --> 00:05:32,647 - Of course. I'll be inside. - Good! 83 00:05:32,807 --> 00:05:36,038 - What do you want to see him about? - Just business. 84 00:05:36,207 --> 00:05:39,483 How can you discuss business here? This is a church! 85 00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:43,242 Come on, Raquel. Even churches have got to make profits. 86 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:46,479 - Have you read your Bible recently? - Have you? 87 00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:52,277 No, but I remember our RE teacher reading it to us once, 88 00:05:52,447 --> 00:05:56,486 and there is a chapter in the Bible called the "Book of Profits", 89 00:05:56,647 --> 00:06:00,686 so don't tell me that God doesn't know a bit of bunce when he sees it! 90 00:06:00,847 --> 00:06:03,122 No, it doesn't mean "profit". 91 00:06:03,287 --> 00:06:07,200 A lovely christening, Raquel! One of the nicest I've been to! 92 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,846 Thanks, Marlene! 93 00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:11,521 I've bought you a little present. 94 00:06:11,687 --> 00:06:15,680 It's a baby intercom so you can hear Damien if he cries at night. 95 00:06:15,847 --> 00:06:19,396 You can even talk to him so he hear's Mummy's voice. 96 00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:24,277 - You'll be able to fix it up, won't you, Del? - No problem. 97 00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:26,642 I'll get Rodney to do it tomorrow. 98 00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:30,959 Listen, I'll leave you two girls to have a chinwag. See you later. 99 00:06:31,127 --> 00:06:33,516 Del, I'll shoot off and open up the pub. 100 00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:37,646 About this do I'm putting on. I'm a bit concerned, mate. 101 00:06:37,807 --> 00:06:41,322 Don't be, Michael. I've got every faith in you! 102 00:06:41,487 --> 00:06:45,924 I'm concerned about the money! Could you at least give me a deposit? 103 00:06:46,087 --> 00:06:51,115 How dare you, Michael, talk business here, outside a church? 104 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:54,962 This is a church! Gawd blimey! 105 00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:03,079 - (RAQUEL) You're off tomorrow? - We're going to the States! 106 00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:07,001 We fly to Washington, down to Atlantic City for a week, 107 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:10,955 - then on to Florida! - You're making me jealous! 108 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:15,962 It's not gonna be that good - Boycie's going with me! 109 00:07:19,087 --> 00:07:23,478 Poor little Rodney! Is he still living at your flat? 110 00:07:23,647 --> 00:07:28,118 He stays with us Monday to Friday and weekends with Cassandra. 111 00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:30,278 - Only weekends? - Yeah. 112 00:07:30,447 --> 00:07:34,486 Well, I suppose it's more fun than fishing! 113 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,480 Rodney. 114 00:07:43,647 --> 00:07:45,558 Hi, Alan. 115 00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:57,199 So... how's the new job? 116 00:07:57,367 --> 00:08:00,677 - What new job? - Working for Del. 117 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:05,841 Oh, that. Fine. We've gone international. Del's very big in eastern Europe. 118 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,124 Yeah, he said he's got contacts in Warsaw. 119 00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:12,279 - No, Walsall. - Walsall? 120 00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:16,235 Yeah. But this bloke's cousin is an exporter in Romania. 121 00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:18,398 Romania? 122 00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:20,558 Good. 123 00:08:20,727 --> 00:08:23,878 How are you getting on with...? 124 00:08:26,247 --> 00:08:29,239 - Oh! - No, she's just going down the pub. 125 00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:33,400 I said I'd see her there later. You going down for one? 126 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:37,879 - Yeah, just for a quick one. - Just a quick one (!) 127 00:08:38,047 --> 00:08:42,086 No, it will be just a quick one. I've had my orders! By the way, 128 00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:45,045 - I've got something for you. - What's that? 129 00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:49,086 Remember when you worked for me, you joined the pension scheme? 130 00:08:49,247 --> 00:08:51,363 They've come up with your repayments. 131 00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:56,920 I talked to the insurance company, and if you like, you can keep the policy open. 132 00:08:57,087 --> 00:08:59,999 It might be the basis of a nice little nest egg. 133 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:04,080 That's really nice of you. I'll take you up on that offer! 134 00:09:04,247 --> 00:09:05,646 I knew you'd say that. 135 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:09,686 Well, I'm not one of these grab-the-money-and-run merchants. 136 00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:12,600 My philosophy is look after the future now. 137 00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:14,758 My sentiments exactly! 138 00:09:14,927 --> 00:09:20,797 Let's see. P935 invested in a policy attracting a gross annual... 139 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:25,279 - P935?! I'll take that now. - What about the future? 140 00:09:25,447 --> 00:09:27,642 What future? I work for Del. 141 00:09:29,847 --> 00:09:32,520 I don't quite understand, Mr Trotter. 142 00:09:32,687 --> 00:09:34,678 Let me try to explain. 143 00:09:34,847 --> 00:09:41,446 What would you do if you had an extra ten or twenty thousand pounds a year coming in? 144 00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:45,600 Build a new youth club? Buy a minibus for the old folks' outings? 145 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:49,077 I'm not used to decisions of that magnitude. 146 00:09:49,247 --> 00:09:55,004 Well, I've come up with an idea that can revolutionise your fund-raising mechanism. 147 00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:58,284 - What do you put in there? - Communion wine. 148 00:09:58,447 --> 00:10:01,439 Before it goes in, it's not communion wine? 149 00:10:01,607 --> 00:10:05,520 - Not until I bless it. - Till you bless it, exactly! 150 00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:08,565 How long does it take to bless it? 151 00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:12,402 - Two or three minutes. - Let's call it three minutes. 152 00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:16,560 That's three minutes, three times a day. Three threes are nine. 153 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:23,326 Nine minutes a day, seven days a week - 'cause I know you blokes work on Sundays! 154 00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:27,162 That's about one hour a week, times 52. 155 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:32,242 That works out about two days a year that you lose just blessing wine, 156 00:10:32,407 --> 00:10:36,400 and that's not including the trip to Oddbins to pick it up. 157 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:40,924 I reckon you lose about one week every year just blessing wine. 158 00:10:41,087 --> 00:10:44,363 - Possibly. - No, positively! 159 00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:50,841 Think of the clergymen all over the country who are also losing one week every year! 160 00:10:51,007 --> 00:10:55,364 Cor, dear! We must be losing months and months of vicar hours! 161 00:10:55,527 --> 00:11:00,521 Think of all the good works you could do with them lost months. 162 00:11:00,687 --> 00:11:02,678 I never thought of it like that. 163 00:11:02,847 --> 00:11:05,884 I have and it's been bothering me! 164 00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:11,201 Sit down, your reverence. Sit down and let me explain. 165 00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:17,158 I have worked out a way in which I can give you back that precious quality, time. 166 00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:20,603 - How? - Are you ready for this? 167 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,282 "Trotter's Pre-blessed Wine"! 168 00:11:25,047 --> 00:11:27,845 - "Trotter's Pre-blessed Wine"? - Yes. 169 00:11:28,007 --> 00:11:30,805 It's like the holy version of sliced bread. 170 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:33,276 Hang on a minute. 171 00:11:33,447 --> 00:11:36,757 I've got this mate, he's a vintner up north. 172 00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:40,602 He's shipping in this new range of Romanian wine. 173 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,998 - Romanian wine? - It's gonna be all the rage. 174 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:48,957 They drive it from Tilbury to here, where you will bless it by the lorryload. 175 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:55,478 Then we'll ship it to churches and cathedrals all over the country. 176 00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:57,877 There'll be no stopping us. 177 00:11:58,047 --> 00:12:01,642 This time next year, we'll be exporting all over Europe! 178 00:12:01,807 --> 00:12:05,686 And here is the brick on top of the chimney. 179 00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:10,716 We get it at 1.39 a bottle, we knock it out at P2.50! 180 00:12:10,887 --> 00:12:17,838 The church'll be rejoicing and you and I will be a nicker and a bit in front! Everyone wins. 181 00:12:18,007 --> 00:12:22,080 "Rien a dire, rien a faire" as they say in Lourdes! 182 00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:24,283 I see how it could save time... 183 00:12:24,447 --> 00:12:27,359 Yes, it can save time, and time is money! 184 00:12:27,527 --> 00:12:32,078 Money that is much better spent on roofs and orphans and organs! 185 00:12:32,247 --> 00:12:37,037 That's very commendable of you, Mr Trotter, but I'm slightly stunned. 186 00:12:37,207 --> 00:12:39,198 Of course you are! 187 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:45,602 Now you know how the people felt when they saw the burning bush or the first Pot Noodle! 188 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:51,637 This time next year, Thora Hird will ask for YOUR autograph! 189 00:12:53,327 --> 00:12:58,276 I know, it knocks you sideways, don't it? It must be a sign or something! 190 00:12:58,447 --> 00:13:00,881 I'll let you think about it. 191 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:06,360 Meantime, I'll send in the first lorryload so you can have a practice. 192 00:13:06,527 --> 00:13:11,726 Try and interest your colleagues, square it with the bishops. You know it makes sense! 193 00:13:11,887 --> 00:13:17,086 That's for the christening - it was a belter! Bonjour for now! 194 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:35,560 - Del Boy! - Sh! What do you want? 195 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:40,005 I heard there's some business going down. Is there anything for me? 196 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,921 - I'm Managing Director of me own firm now. - I'm impressed (!) 197 00:13:44,087 --> 00:13:47,796 No, there's nothing in it for you. I'm doing this for charity. 198 00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:50,720 Well, if you hear of something, let us know. 199 00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:55,358 - I've always done you a good turn. - When have you done anything for me? 200 00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:58,917 Well, I'll do you some good turns in the future! 201 00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:03,399 - Remember, if you want any help... - I'll bear it in mind. 202 00:14:04,807 --> 00:14:06,798 Wait a minute... 203 00:14:06,967 --> 00:14:08,958 Wait a minute! 204 00:14:09,127 --> 00:14:12,039 - I was wondering... - What? 205 00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:18,601 - I don't think you can handle it. - I can handle it, no sweat! What is it? 206 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:23,557 Well... it's a little bit out of your normal area. 207 00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:26,799 As long as you're not frightened of a challenge? 208 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:31,119 There's nothing I like better! I'm your man! 209 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:37,157 All right, put it there! Come with me and I'll tell you what I want you to do. 210 00:14:37,327 --> 00:14:42,526 (MICKEY) My firm is in a phase of expansion. I was computerised three months ago. 211 00:14:42,687 --> 00:14:45,679 (DEL) I thought you had a bit of a limp! 212 00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:55,558 (CHUGGING RATTLE) 213 00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:58,799 (RATTLING STOPS) 214 00:15:10,687 --> 00:15:13,679 Oooh! Gordon B...! What's the matter? 215 00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:17,886 I'm so embarrassed! I wish you could choose your parents! 216 00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:21,759 Aw, no, it's not Alan again, is it? 217 00:15:21,927 --> 00:15:26,876 It's always the same at family parties. Two drinks, that's all it takes! 218 00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:30,442 You ought to stay off the scotch! 219 00:15:31,607 --> 00:15:35,316 I haven't been on the scotch. I've been on the shandies! 220 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:41,566 Hello, Del. It's a smashing do! 221 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:46,480 - Come on, love. - Kissie, kissie, Del! 222 00:15:47,807 --> 00:15:49,798 - Del! - Sorry! 223 00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:53,084 - Take her home, Daddy! - Then what? 224 00:15:53,247 --> 00:15:58,685 - I've got some rope in my van! - Don't, Del! Come on, Pam! 225 00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:07,286 - Ooh! - How will I live the embarrassment down? 226 00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:10,484 Talk to Rodney. He's had years of experience! 227 00:16:10,647 --> 00:16:16,483 Sorry. Talking of Rodney, he's gutted about this Saturday and Sunday arrangement. 228 00:16:16,647 --> 00:16:20,322 - What's happened between you two? - It's private, Del. 229 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:24,958 I won't stick me nose in, but if you want to talk, either of you, I'm here. 230 00:16:25,127 --> 00:16:30,155 You know me, I'm straight down the line, no old bull and no porkies. 231 00:16:30,327 --> 00:16:32,841 - Thanks, Del. - All right. 232 00:16:33,007 --> 00:16:34,918 - Is Damien at the flat? - Yeah. 233 00:16:35,087 --> 00:16:38,875 - Who's baby-sitting? - Mickey Pearce. 234 00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:47,724 (ALBERT SINGS AND PLAYS PIANO) 235 00:16:51,767 --> 00:16:54,235 Is that the holiday brochure? 236 00:16:54,407 --> 00:16:57,240 Yes. These are the hotels we're staying at! 237 00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:03,437 How many times must I tell her to keep quiet about this holiday?! 238 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,677 Why's that, Boycie? 239 00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:10,079 I don't want everyone to know my house will be empty for three weeks! 240 00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:12,636 I'm security-conscious these days. 241 00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:17,642 That's why I haven't ordered a cab for the airport. Del Boy's doing it. 242 00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:21,083 I wanted a close and trusted friend to take us. 243 00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:26,401 - They were all busy, were they? - Right, so I had to ask Del! 244 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,398 Mind you, he's put on a good spread here today! 245 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:34,799 HE'S put on a good spread?! This is all on the slate! 246 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:39,563 I've got so many of his slates under here, I could retile me bloody roof! 247 00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:41,718 Del will pay you. No worries. 248 00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:44,082 Yeah, Del's had a big cheque arrive. 249 00:17:44,247 --> 00:17:46,886 - What about that, Mouthy? - 935 quid! 250 00:17:47,047 --> 00:17:48,924 - See? - I saw the cheque! 251 00:17:49,087 --> 00:17:53,319 (MIKE) Yeah, I saw an advert for the RAC, but I still broke down! 252 00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:03,881 Gotcha! What did you leave this in your jacket for? Someone could have taken it! 253 00:18:04,047 --> 00:18:05,560 Somebody did! 254 00:18:05,727 --> 00:18:11,165 This could have been nicked and cashed before you could say Marriage Guidance Council. 255 00:18:11,327 --> 00:18:13,443 Shut up about that! 256 00:18:13,607 --> 00:18:16,917 I'm paying this into your account, all right? 257 00:18:17,087 --> 00:18:19,760 How are things between you and Cassandra? 258 00:18:19,927 --> 00:18:22,566 - Why? - You don't seem to be talking to her. 259 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:27,198 - We ain't got much to say. - What's the problem between you? 260 00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,437 It's private, all right? 261 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:32,804 You used to confide in me. Now you tell me nothing. 262 00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:38,325 - I might be able to help you! - It is private! I'll sort it out in me own way! 263 00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:41,479 You'll sort nothing out without talking about it! 264 00:18:41,647 --> 00:18:44,639 - All right! - All right. Go and enjoy yourself! 265 00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:48,960 (DEL) Mike, give me a pina colada. 266 00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,766 - Bloody women! - Problems, Dave? 267 00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:53,918 I don't want to talk about it. 268 00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:57,079 Have you ever been wrongly accused of something? 269 00:18:57,247 --> 00:19:00,205 - Once. - How did you get out of it? 270 00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,756 I didn't. I was guilty. 271 00:19:08,287 --> 00:19:11,757 You're going to the airport in style, in my Capri Ghia. 272 00:19:11,927 --> 00:19:15,761 - What time shall I pick you up? - 11.00. The plane leaves at 1.30. 273 00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:19,158 - I wouldn't go to America. - What's wrong with it? 274 00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:23,639 - It's violent, innit? - You've been watching too much telly! 275 00:19:23,807 --> 00:19:26,799 They're on the verge of a drugs war over there! 276 00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:29,242 Who told you that?! 277 00:19:29,407 --> 00:19:32,240 Well, I saw a programme on the telly. 278 00:19:33,727 --> 00:19:36,241 See what I mean? Soppy as a sack! 279 00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:43,157 I'll bet he sent a note of sympathy to Rita Fairclough when old Len snuffed it! 280 00:19:43,327 --> 00:19:47,240 He closed the pub for a week when Daphne in "Neighbours" died! 281 00:19:47,407 --> 00:19:49,796 When I say a programme on the telly... 282 00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:52,800 You shouldn't laugh about things like that. 283 00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:54,958 Eh? 284 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,641 The dead can't defend themselves. 285 00:19:57,807 --> 00:20:00,162 No, you see, Trig, the thing was... 286 00:20:00,327 --> 00:20:03,046 She had a three-month-old baby! 287 00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:05,641 Rita Fairclough? 288 00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:07,843 I'm talking about Daphne! 289 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,886 Yeah, I'm sorry, Trig. It was, it was tragic! 290 00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:17,041 Well... I've made my point. 291 00:20:20,447 --> 00:20:23,325 Yeah, sorry about that, Trig. 292 00:20:23,487 --> 00:20:27,560 You've got to be very careful. Trig gets very emotional. 293 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,321 He's Italian on his dad's friend's side. 294 00:20:31,887 --> 00:20:34,117 When I say a programme on the telly, 295 00:20:34,287 --> 00:20:38,724 I don't mean "Hill Street Blues" or "Magnum". This was "Panorama"! 296 00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:43,244 - (BOTH) "Panorama"! - Contract killers are on the loose over there. 297 00:20:43,407 --> 00:20:47,480 How's that going to affect Boycie? He's going with Thomas Cook! 298 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:52,402 No hit man is going to have a pop at two British tourists! 299 00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:54,603 If he does, he'd better do it in the evening. 300 00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:59,318 One look at Marlene when she gets out of bed would make anyone run a mile! 301 00:20:59,487 --> 00:21:03,685 - She'd put the frights up Hannibal Lecter! - I like that, Del! 302 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:07,965 How do you know what Marlene looks like when she gets out of bed? 303 00:21:08,127 --> 00:21:11,244 - Your milkman told me. - Oh. 304 00:21:16,887 --> 00:21:20,402 (DISTANT PASSING SIREN) 305 00:21:24,807 --> 00:21:27,162 - Hi. - Hi. 306 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,723 - Lovely evening. - Mmm. 307 00:21:32,887 --> 00:21:35,196 You got time for a chat? 308 00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:39,042 If it's anything to do with uniforms, the answer's no. 309 00:21:39,207 --> 00:21:42,005 Sh! It's nothing to do with uniforms! 310 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:45,842 I'm not dressing up as a Victorian maid for anyone! 311 00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:49,556 Look, I'd had a few drinks and said something stupid. 312 00:21:49,727 --> 00:21:54,323 That's no reason to kick me out of the flat. Haven't you ever said something stupid? 313 00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:57,559 Yeah, two years ago I said, "I do"! 314 00:22:00,567 --> 00:22:03,843 - That's not fair, Cass. - I didn't mean it. 315 00:22:05,007 --> 00:22:06,406 Sorry. 316 00:22:08,087 --> 00:22:12,478 - I won't mention uniforms again, I promise. - All right, then. 317 00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:16,479 Well, glad the christening went off all right. 318 00:22:16,647 --> 00:22:20,322 I thought it was really moving. He's such a lovely baby. 319 00:22:20,487 --> 00:22:22,478 Lovely? 320 00:22:22,647 --> 00:22:27,118 He's always biting me! He takes great chunks of flesh out me arms! 321 00:22:27,287 --> 00:22:29,801 You liar! He smiled when he saw you. 322 00:22:29,967 --> 00:22:33,084 Yeah, 'cause he thought, "Here comes elevenses!" 323 00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:37,796 Oh, shut up. He's a beautiful little thing. 324 00:22:37,967 --> 00:22:41,118 You ain't got to live in the same flat as... 325 00:22:42,847 --> 00:22:48,205 Sorry. I wasn't trying to... Well, you know. 326 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:53,202 You don't live at Del's all the time. We spend weekends together. 327 00:22:53,367 --> 00:22:56,757 Oh, yeah, yeah. We spend weekends together. 328 00:22:56,927 --> 00:23:01,557 Don't start. We discussed all our problems with the Relate counsellor. 329 00:23:01,727 --> 00:23:06,198 Remember what she said after she stopped laughing? 330 00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:10,645 She advised us to go slowly and just spend weekends together at first. 331 00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:14,561 - You must be joking! - Well, the offer still holds. 332 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,719 It's up to you. Now, could we change the subject? 333 00:23:17,887 --> 00:23:19,878 Yes, sorry! 334 00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:25,639 How are things at the bank? Heard anything about your promotion? 335 00:23:25,807 --> 00:23:29,083 Not yet, but I'm definitely on the shortlist. 336 00:23:29,247 --> 00:23:33,001 I've been invited to the company's seminar in Eastbourne. 337 00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:35,237 A seminar in Eastbourne (!) 338 00:23:35,407 --> 00:23:37,398 Sorry. 339 00:23:38,727 --> 00:23:44,404 - It's important, this seminar? - It's where the final interviews will be held. 340 00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:49,357 - Well... here's to your future. - OURS. 341 00:23:49,527 --> 00:23:54,681 - Yeah. - Don't look like that! Please? 342 00:23:56,247 --> 00:23:59,000 This is supposed to be a happy occasion. 343 00:23:59,167 --> 00:24:01,806 That's just it! Everybody's celebrating! 344 00:24:01,967 --> 00:24:04,527 Boycie and Marlene are off to the States, 345 00:24:04,687 --> 00:24:07,440 Del and Raquel have christened the chavie. 346 00:24:07,607 --> 00:24:09,518 That could be us in a while. 347 00:24:11,687 --> 00:24:13,279 What, a baby? 348 00:24:13,447 --> 00:24:18,521 No, I meant we could go to America. It's been an ambition of mine. 349 00:24:18,687 --> 00:24:21,884 Once I get my promotion, we could put some money aside 350 00:24:22,047 --> 00:24:24,800 and have a holiday in California or Florida. 351 00:24:26,167 --> 00:24:27,566 Yeah? When? 352 00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:29,206 A couple of years. 353 00:24:32,247 --> 00:24:33,646 Cosmic! 354 00:24:38,807 --> 00:24:41,685 (TRIG) There are thousands of trees in the world! 355 00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:43,644 It is not just a bunch of trees! 356 00:24:43,807 --> 00:24:47,083 It's the Brazilian rainforest, the lungs of the world! 357 00:24:47,247 --> 00:24:50,364 They are destroying it at the rate of 25 acres a day! 358 00:24:50,527 --> 00:24:52,916 - Where is that, exactly? - Huh? 359 00:24:53,087 --> 00:24:55,999 Where is the Brazilian rainforest? 360 00:24:56,167 --> 00:25:00,240 It's outside Luton! Where do you think?! It's in Brazil! 361 00:25:01,487 --> 00:25:07,244 Albert, there you are! I've booked you a front row seat at the launderama! 362 00:25:07,407 --> 00:25:10,319 Away you go. Rodney, I want a word with you. 363 00:25:10,487 --> 00:25:14,799 Give us a decaffeinated cappuccino and a jam doughnut, Sid. 364 00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:20,519 He's on about that bleedin' rainforest again. That's the fourth lecture this week! 365 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,996 Well, he's worried about our world. 366 00:25:23,167 --> 00:25:26,477 It wouldn't hurt you to care a bit more - look at that! 367 00:25:26,647 --> 00:25:30,720 It's fossil fuels. People don't realise what damage they're doing. 368 00:25:30,887 --> 00:25:35,881 I don't have none of them in my house. I use gas and oil. 369 00:25:37,167 --> 00:25:40,000 - Trig, they ARE fossil fuels. - Are they? 370 00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:43,239 Well, I'll switch to coal in future. 371 00:25:43,407 --> 00:25:46,046 No! Coal is the same! 372 00:25:46,207 --> 00:25:49,995 I had a coal burner fitted. It's not as dear as you think. 373 00:25:50,167 --> 00:25:52,317 Put it on Rodney's slate. 374 00:25:52,487 --> 00:25:56,162 (RODNEY) I don't know how many bloody trees there are, Trig! 375 00:25:56,327 --> 00:25:59,876 Rodders, leave it out! You'll never turn this lot "green" 376 00:26:00,047 --> 00:26:03,244 as long as you've got a hole in your ozone! 377 00:26:03,407 --> 00:26:07,685 I've got some exciting news to tell you in private. Come here. 378 00:26:07,847 --> 00:26:09,838 Private, please! Thank you. 379 00:26:10,007 --> 00:26:15,035 I give up on you two! It's so frustrating trying to explain 380 00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:17,402 what is happening on this planet! 381 00:26:17,567 --> 00:26:19,683 It gives me the hump an' all! 382 00:26:19,847 --> 00:26:23,999 They are more concerned with a postcard from Boycie and Marlene! 383 00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:27,842 Gawd, dear! We had one this morning! It's a lovely hotel. 384 00:26:28,007 --> 00:26:29,998 Del! 385 00:26:30,167 --> 00:26:32,727 So what's this exciting news? 386 00:26:32,887 --> 00:26:37,085 Well, I went down the bank to pay in your cheque. 387 00:26:37,247 --> 00:26:41,240 I'd have gone earlier, but I've been having trouble with me wine deal. Thanks, Sid. 388 00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:44,001 - So you have paid it in? - Of course I have! 389 00:26:44,167 --> 00:26:48,558 You've got to look after that money. Don't go sending it off to Sting! 390 00:26:48,727 --> 00:26:54,677 Anyway, when I was down there, I bumped into Cassandra and we went for lunch. 391 00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:57,600 While I was having lunch, I had this great idea. 392 00:26:57,767 --> 00:27:00,406 I know you like to travel... 393 00:27:00,567 --> 00:27:02,603 I am not going to Romania! 394 00:27:02,767 --> 00:27:06,282 - Your wine shipment's got problems. - Who said that?! 395 00:27:06,447 --> 00:27:11,521 Raquel said you had a call from Bucharest that made you go pale and sweaty. 396 00:27:11,687 --> 00:27:16,078 It's nothing I can't handle, just a hiccup with the old translation. 397 00:27:16,247 --> 00:27:19,080 Anyway, this idea was for you and Cassandra. 398 00:27:19,247 --> 00:27:22,557 We was talking about Boycie and Marlene's holiday. 399 00:27:22,727 --> 00:27:27,164 Now, it worked out that Cassandra would love to go to America. 400 00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:32,116 On the way here, I called in to see Alex the travel agent. 401 00:27:32,287 --> 00:27:35,484 He has got a once-in-a-lifetime offer! 402 00:27:35,647 --> 00:27:37,877 It's practically a giveaway! 403 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:42,564 Return tickets to Miami, 250 smackeroonies! 404 00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:47,039 Well, that's a monkey before you got a bed for the night, innit? 405 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:52,076 No! Here's the cherry on top of the cake - two go for the price of one! 406 00:27:52,247 --> 00:27:58,277 Think about it, Rodney - you and Cassandra spending a week on Miami Beach! 407 00:27:58,447 --> 00:28:02,235 Miami... Nah, I could never afford it. 408 00:28:02,407 --> 00:28:07,242 'Course you can afford it! You've got your Maxwell money, haven't ya? 409 00:28:07,407 --> 00:28:11,366 - Me what? - Maxwell, your pension money. 410 00:28:14,847 --> 00:28:17,520 Miami...? Two for the price of one? 411 00:28:17,687 --> 00:28:21,919 Rodney, just think about it - she'll love it, I know that. 412 00:28:22,087 --> 00:28:26,922 Imagine how she'll feel when you announce your holiday of a lifetime! 413 00:28:27,087 --> 00:28:30,443 She'll be all over you like a rash! 414 00:28:30,607 --> 00:28:33,963 Is that a brilliant idea or just wonderful? 415 00:28:35,487 --> 00:28:37,682 It's a cosmic idea! 416 00:28:37,847 --> 00:28:40,919 - Would you give me the time off? - Of course! 417 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:42,998 Ace! But what about Cassy? 418 00:28:43,167 --> 00:28:48,560 The bank owe her three weeks' holiday - she told me. You're off and running, bruv! 419 00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:52,561 Yeah? I'd better go and phone her and make sure it's all right. 420 00:28:52,727 --> 00:28:57,357 No, don't phone her. Sit down there. 421 00:28:57,527 --> 00:28:59,518 You take her out for dinner, 422 00:28:59,687 --> 00:29:03,600 and when you get to the old coffee and the Grand "Monier" stakes, 423 00:29:03,767 --> 00:29:06,998 you throw the tickets down on the table and you say, 424 00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:12,400 "Darling, I am taking you to Miami." You'll knock her bandy! 425 00:29:12,567 --> 00:29:16,958 Yeah! I'd better get down that travel agent's a bit sharpish! 426 00:29:17,127 --> 00:29:19,118 No, no, don't go down there. 427 00:29:19,287 --> 00:29:21,881 Save the shoe leather, Rodney, 428 00:29:22,047 --> 00:29:25,278 'cause you see, I got them for you! 429 00:29:26,887 --> 00:29:29,526 Derek, you are a diamond! 430 00:29:29,687 --> 00:29:32,360 How did you know I wanted them? 431 00:29:32,527 --> 00:29:36,964 Even a plonker like you wouldn't turn your nose up at a deal like this! 432 00:29:37,127 --> 00:29:40,915 I don't know what I'd do without you! I'd never have thought... 433 00:29:41,087 --> 00:29:43,999 How did you afford it? I thought you were skint. 434 00:29:44,167 --> 00:29:46,601 I am. I cashed one of your cheques. 435 00:29:46,767 --> 00:29:50,806 - You took money out of my account? - Don't you dare thank me! 436 00:29:51,967 --> 00:29:56,677 It was nothing. I can forge your signature as easy as that! 437 00:30:00,087 --> 00:30:01,679 (TV ON) 438 00:30:04,967 --> 00:30:07,527 - All right? - Lovely, son. 439 00:30:07,687 --> 00:30:13,478 - Where is everyone? - Little 'un's in his cot, Raquel's cooking, 440 00:30:13,647 --> 00:30:18,562 Rodney's taken Cassandra to dinner. He's gonna tell her about Miami. 441 00:30:18,727 --> 00:30:22,720 - I'd love to be there and see her face! - So would I! 442 00:30:24,047 --> 00:30:26,242 'Ere, look. Oi! Oi! 443 00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,045 (TV OFF) 444 00:30:28,207 --> 00:30:29,686 Any calls for me? 445 00:30:29,847 --> 00:30:31,917 - Calls? - Has the telephone rung 446 00:30:32,087 --> 00:30:35,397 - and a voice asked for me? - Not that I'm aware of. 447 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:41,119 - Thank God for that! - Talking about God, I saw a funny thing today. 448 00:30:41,287 --> 00:30:45,121 I was walking past the church where we held the christening, 449 00:30:45,287 --> 00:30:48,359 and there was a big articulated lorry outside. 450 00:30:48,527 --> 00:30:53,555 There was some sort of German writing on the side, and the back doors were open. 451 00:30:53,727 --> 00:30:55,843 Full of cases of wine, it was. 452 00:30:56,927 --> 00:31:00,124 And that vicar, the one what christened Damien, 453 00:31:00,287 --> 00:31:05,998 he was making the sign of the cross and saying a prayer to this lorry. 454 00:31:06,167 --> 00:31:09,842 Funny old world, innit, eh? Listen to me. 455 00:31:10,007 --> 00:31:14,205 Anyone phones or calls round asking for me, I'm not in, all right? 456 00:31:14,367 --> 00:31:18,042 Does "anyone" mean people with Romanian accents? 457 00:31:18,207 --> 00:31:19,720 Hello, sweetheart. 458 00:31:19,887 --> 00:31:23,357 No, I didn't mean people with Romanian accents. 459 00:31:23,527 --> 00:31:28,601 I just thought I ought to maintain a bit of a low profile for a while. 460 00:31:28,767 --> 00:31:31,201 I think I'll take a look at Damien. 461 00:31:31,367 --> 00:31:34,837 You dare! It's taken me over an hour to get him to sleep! 462 00:31:35,007 --> 00:31:40,161 All right. I'll make meself a Singapore Sling to unwind, and take a hot bath. 463 00:31:40,327 --> 00:31:41,726 (DOOR SLAMS) 464 00:31:41,887 --> 00:31:44,924 - Rodney's back. - (DEL) All right, Rodders? 465 00:31:45,087 --> 00:31:49,126 - What does Cassandra say? - I'm going to bed! 466 00:31:49,287 --> 00:31:54,122 - Everything all right, bruv? - Brilliant, Del! Bloody brilliant! 467 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:57,120 Cassandra cannot come to Miami with me! 468 00:31:57,287 --> 00:31:59,084 - (DEL) Eh? - Why not? 469 00:31:59,247 --> 00:32:02,398 - Because she is busy that week! - Doing what? 470 00:32:02,567 --> 00:32:06,765 She has to attend the bank's seminar in bloody Eastbourne! 471 00:32:06,927 --> 00:32:14,277 She is giving up a trip to Miami for some crappy interview so she can become an executive! 472 00:32:14,447 --> 00:32:17,007 She should get her priorities right! 473 00:32:17,167 --> 00:32:21,240 - Let's be fair about this. - Let's be fair, Rodney. 474 00:32:21,407 --> 00:32:23,841 These interviews are very important. 475 00:32:24,007 --> 00:32:28,319 Five years of college and evening school have led to this seminar. 476 00:32:28,487 --> 00:32:32,241 You can't expect her to risk her future for a week in the sun. 477 00:32:32,407 --> 00:32:34,716 It's not that. It's just my luck - 478 00:32:34,887 --> 00:32:40,166 any other week would have been fine but, no, it had to be that week! 479 00:32:40,327 --> 00:32:43,637 I know it's tough, but it's just the way it goes. 480 00:32:43,807 --> 00:32:46,367 Well, for me it is, yeah. 481 00:32:46,527 --> 00:32:50,236 - See you in the morning. - Yeah, goodnight, bruv. 482 00:32:51,767 --> 00:32:54,281 Dear, oh, dear, oh, Lord. 483 00:32:54,447 --> 00:32:58,406 That's a bit of a body blow, innit? There you are. 484 00:32:58,567 --> 00:33:01,035 Yeah, he was looking forward to that. 485 00:33:01,207 --> 00:33:03,801 He should have phoned Cassandra first. 486 00:33:03,967 --> 00:33:05,958 Yeah. 487 00:33:07,887 --> 00:33:14,042 I told him to phone her. I said, "Phone her. Make sure she can make that week!" 488 00:33:14,207 --> 00:33:17,882 But he wouldn't listen. You know what he's like. 489 00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:19,639 - It's a shame. - Yeah! 490 00:33:27,887 --> 00:33:32,677 Stupid bank! Stupid, stupid bank! 491 00:33:44,287 --> 00:33:47,916 (MENACING CHORAL MUSIC) 492 00:33:48,087 --> 00:33:54,117 Go to sleep, Damien, otherwise Uncle Rodney will get angry. You won't like me... 493 00:33:54,287 --> 00:33:56,926 (ON INTERCOM)... when I'm angry! 494 00:33:59,087 --> 00:34:01,965 Look, just pack it in, will ya? 495 00:34:02,127 --> 00:34:05,881 You don't frighten me, so just go to sleep, you little sod! 496 00:34:06,047 --> 00:34:10,484 - What's he doing in there? - Having a row with Damien. 497 00:34:10,647 --> 00:34:12,558 How do you work this thing? 498 00:34:12,727 --> 00:34:16,037 (DISTORTED VOICE ON INTERCOM) Who are you talking to? 499 00:34:16,207 --> 00:34:18,721 Jesus on a bike! 500 00:34:21,567 --> 00:34:23,159 What's happened? 501 00:34:27,327 --> 00:34:28,999 All right, bruv? 502 00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:32,603 - Yeah, yeah, fine. - You look pale. 503 00:34:32,767 --> 00:34:34,758 No... 504 00:34:34,927 --> 00:34:39,398 I was just thinking, I won't sleep with Damien no more... 505 00:34:40,567 --> 00:34:46,005 ...'cause I keep snoring and waking him up, bless him. 506 00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:49,000 I'll just kip on the sofa if that's all right. 507 00:34:49,167 --> 00:34:53,160 - Anything you like, bruv. - I'll just have a quick shower. 508 00:34:53,327 --> 00:34:55,158 (DAMIEN CRIES) 509 00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:57,079 Sorry. 510 00:34:57,247 --> 00:35:02,605 - It's all right. I'm used to it. - You going, are you? All right. 511 00:35:08,287 --> 00:35:12,200 You was really looking forward to going to Miami, weren't ya? 512 00:35:12,367 --> 00:35:16,326 I had dreams of what it would be like. 513 00:35:16,487 --> 00:35:18,364 You'll get your money back. 514 00:35:18,527 --> 00:35:21,439 No, I won't. The tickets are non-refundable. 515 00:35:21,607 --> 00:35:24,838 - Still going, aren't you? - Of course I ain't! 516 00:35:25,007 --> 00:35:31,480 Cassandra will think you're just a puppet who can't do anything unless she pulls your strings! 517 00:35:31,647 --> 00:35:35,959 - But I'll be all on me own. - You're only going for a week! 518 00:35:36,127 --> 00:35:41,599 What about him? He was on his own once for three months on an uninhabited island! 519 00:35:41,767 --> 00:35:46,124 It wasn't uninhabited when he arrived, but that's another story. 520 00:35:46,287 --> 00:35:50,360 You have to go. You've got to prove to Cassandra that you're a man 521 00:35:50,527 --> 00:35:54,998 and you're not frightened to stand on your own two feet. 522 00:35:55,167 --> 00:35:59,285 - You know, you're right! - So you're going, son? 523 00:35:59,447 --> 00:36:01,961 Possibly. 524 00:36:05,407 --> 00:36:07,762 He won't go, will he? 525 00:36:07,927 --> 00:36:11,124 Yeah, of course he'll go, Unc, and do you know why? 526 00:36:11,287 --> 00:36:13,755 Because I'm going with him! 527 00:36:15,087 --> 00:36:17,840 There you are. 528 00:36:18,007 --> 00:36:23,161 You've got a lovely cot, haven't you? You're all warm and happy. 529 00:36:24,367 --> 00:36:27,279 We wish poor Uncle Rodney was, don't we? 530 00:36:27,447 --> 00:36:30,007 He can't go to Miami now. 531 00:36:30,167 --> 00:36:32,681 It's a shame. 532 00:36:32,847 --> 00:36:37,967 Shall I put your mobile on for you, the one Daddy bought you? Yeah? 533 00:36:39,087 --> 00:36:44,002 You've got a lovely daddy, haven't you, buying you these presents? 534 00:36:44,167 --> 00:36:46,727 (MOBILE DOESN'T PLAY TUNE) 535 00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:50,675 Maybe Daddy could go with Uncle Rodney? 536 00:36:50,847 --> 00:36:53,680 You wouldn't mind, would you? 537 00:36:53,847 --> 00:36:56,805 He'd only be gone for a week. 538 00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:58,923 (NO MUSIC FROM MOBILE) 539 00:36:59,087 --> 00:37:01,203 I wonder where Daddy got that from? 540 00:37:02,527 --> 00:37:05,997 It's a mystery, like so many things! 541 00:37:08,207 --> 00:37:10,562 Can you persuade Raquel? 542 00:37:10,727 --> 00:37:13,287 Can Fergie ski (?) 543 00:37:13,447 --> 00:37:19,317 I only wanna go for a week in Miami. I'm not taking a six-month exhibition up the jungle! 544 00:37:19,487 --> 00:37:23,162 My Ada weren't too happy when I told her I was going abroad. 545 00:37:23,327 --> 00:37:28,117 You joined the navy and went round the world seven bloody times! 546 00:37:28,287 --> 00:37:31,563 No wonder the poor cow got the needle! 547 00:37:31,727 --> 00:37:35,436 Night, night, baby. Mummy's just outside. 548 00:37:35,607 --> 00:37:38,758 I'll switch your little box on in case you need me. 549 00:37:38,927 --> 00:37:42,840 (DEL ON INTERCOM) All I want to do is go to Miami with Rodney! 550 00:37:43,007 --> 00:37:45,157 He's got a ticket going begging! 551 00:37:45,327 --> 00:37:48,717 Raquel has been to America, ain't she? What about me? 552 00:37:48,887 --> 00:37:50,878 I've been nowhere! 553 00:37:51,047 --> 00:37:53,277 Benidorm and Bognor, that's me! 554 00:37:53,447 --> 00:37:58,726 Nah, she'll be all right. Raquel will be OK, you'll see. 555 00:37:58,887 --> 00:38:02,562 Yeah, I'll work her. Everything will be cushty! 556 00:38:02,727 --> 00:38:05,958 I wouldn't be surprised if she puts a block on ya. 557 00:38:06,127 --> 00:38:09,881 Leave it out, Uncle. I'm the guv'nor in this house, ain't I? 558 00:38:10,047 --> 00:38:13,960 I shall just say, "Raquel, I'm going to Miami with my brother, 559 00:38:14,127 --> 00:38:18,006 "like it or lump it! Pick the bones out of that, darling!" 560 00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:21,443 - All right, sweetheart? - Yeah, he's settled down. 561 00:38:21,607 --> 00:38:23,996 Del's got something to tell you, love. 562 00:38:24,167 --> 00:38:26,965 (RAQUEL) What's that? 563 00:38:28,967 --> 00:38:33,563 That programme you want to watch is about to start! 564 00:38:33,727 --> 00:38:36,958 - Sit down. - But your dinner's in the oven. 565 00:38:37,127 --> 00:38:41,643 Don't worry, I like it all baked up. Can I get you a drink? 566 00:38:41,807 --> 00:38:45,004 - No, thanks. - All right. Are you nice and comfy? 567 00:38:45,167 --> 00:38:47,283 - Mmm. - There you are, darling! 568 00:38:47,447 --> 00:38:50,086 Cushty! 569 00:38:50,247 --> 00:38:53,876 Come on, then. Come to your lover. 570 00:38:54,047 --> 00:38:56,038 That's it. 571 00:39:04,287 --> 00:39:07,518 It's a shame, innit? 572 00:39:07,687 --> 00:39:10,247 Mmm. 573 00:39:13,487 --> 00:39:16,365 Yes, it's a crying bloody shame. 574 00:39:16,527 --> 00:39:20,076 - What is? - Poor little Rodney. 575 00:39:20,247 --> 00:39:23,045 You mean those tickets to Miami, son? 576 00:39:23,207 --> 00:39:28,600 That's right. Cassandra can't go with him so he won't be able to go. 577 00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:32,157 - Couldn't Rodney go on his own? - Definitely not! 578 00:39:32,327 --> 00:39:35,797 - I went to America on my own. - You've got a bit of savvy. 579 00:39:35,967 --> 00:39:40,518 You couldn't have Rodney Trotter AND Dan Quayle on the same continent! 580 00:39:40,687 --> 00:39:43,520 No, he needs someone to look after him. 581 00:39:43,687 --> 00:39:46,485 That's it, innit? But what can you do? 582 00:39:46,647 --> 00:39:48,763 Mmm... 583 00:39:52,247 --> 00:39:54,807 Poor little Rodney. 584 00:39:54,967 --> 00:39:58,084 - I've got an idea! - What's that, Unc? 585 00:39:58,247 --> 00:40:00,477 Why don't he take someone with him? 586 00:40:00,647 --> 00:40:04,720 That's a good idea! I'm surprised you didn't think of that, Del! 587 00:40:04,887 --> 00:40:08,277 Yeah, so am I. Of course, the trouble is... 588 00:40:08,447 --> 00:40:10,403 - Who? - Who? 589 00:40:10,567 --> 00:40:13,286 What about Mickey Pearce? 590 00:40:18,287 --> 00:40:21,040 Great idea. It's a brilliant idea. 591 00:40:21,207 --> 00:40:24,358 But the tickets are made out in the name of Trotter. 592 00:40:24,527 --> 00:40:28,076 - They're not transferable. - You mean he's got to go 593 00:40:28,247 --> 00:40:32,957 - with someone named Trotter? - Exactly! Exactly. 594 00:40:34,567 --> 00:40:39,277 Oh, dear! Poor little Rodney! 595 00:40:42,207 --> 00:40:45,517 - Why don't you go with him, Del? - Me?! 596 00:40:45,687 --> 00:40:48,326 Yeah! Your name's Trotter! 597 00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:53,481 Yes, yes, great, but... 598 00:40:53,647 --> 00:40:55,763 But what? 599 00:40:55,927 --> 00:40:59,636 I couldn't leave you and Damien on your own! 600 00:40:59,807 --> 00:41:01,240 I'd be here. 601 00:41:01,407 --> 00:41:06,606 That's like asking McDonald's to look after your cow, innit?! 602 00:41:06,767 --> 00:41:11,363 It's only for a week! Damien and I could just about manage to survive! 603 00:41:11,527 --> 00:41:15,759 I couldn't do that. I'm not that sort of bloke. I'd be worried sick. 604 00:41:15,927 --> 00:41:19,397 All right, then. I don't want to make you ill! 605 00:41:22,767 --> 00:41:26,077 On the other hand, I don't want to be selfish. 606 00:41:26,247 --> 00:41:28,761 I couldn't imagine you being that, Del. 607 00:41:28,927 --> 00:41:35,400 The thing is, this is the chance of a lifetime for little Rodney, the poor little cock! 608 00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:38,320 And as it was my idea, I feel partly to blame. 609 00:41:38,487 --> 00:41:40,478 Go to Miami, Del! 610 00:41:40,647 --> 00:41:43,764 - Really? - Really. You'll love it! 611 00:41:44,807 --> 00:41:47,560 Terrific! 612 00:41:51,727 --> 00:41:54,799 Of course, I'm not really looking forward to it. 613 00:41:54,967 --> 00:41:57,356 I'm only doing it for... 614 00:41:57,527 --> 00:42:00,166 (BOTH)... poor little Rodney! 615 00:42:00,327 --> 00:42:04,718 Oh, darling... you know what, Raquel? 616 00:42:04,887 --> 00:42:07,720 You've got a heart like a diamond. 617 00:42:07,887 --> 00:42:11,800 You know what you remind me of? You remind me so much of my mum! 618 00:42:13,287 --> 00:42:14,686 Thanks. 619 00:42:14,847 --> 00:42:17,680 I'll bring ya back a blinding present! 620 00:42:17,847 --> 00:42:20,839 'Ere, Rodney. Del's got some good news for you! 621 00:42:21,007 --> 00:42:23,123 What's that, then? 622 00:42:23,287 --> 00:42:25,926 I'm coming to Miami with ya! 623 00:42:26,087 --> 00:42:27,600 You bloody ain't! 624 00:42:30,327 --> 00:42:33,637 - Eh? - I ain't going on holiday with you! 625 00:42:34,807 --> 00:42:37,526 Excuse me. Excuse me a moment, would you? 626 00:42:37,687 --> 00:42:41,600 Can I have a word with you in the executive boardroom? 627 00:42:41,767 --> 00:42:43,485 Wherever you want! 628 00:42:43,647 --> 00:42:46,764 He's just mixed up. I'll soon straighten him out. 629 00:42:48,367 --> 00:42:51,564 - You've got a bloody nerve! - Sh! Damien! 630 00:42:59,007 --> 00:43:01,316 What's the matter with you, Rodney? 631 00:43:01,487 --> 00:43:05,162 Del, I'm not flying 4,000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean 632 00:43:05,327 --> 00:43:09,445 with you in my earhole all day and night! I want a break from all that! 633 00:43:09,607 --> 00:43:12,405 I've been on holiday with you before! 634 00:43:13,687 --> 00:43:18,044 That's charming, isn't it? Absolutely charming! 635 00:43:18,207 --> 00:43:22,723 After all that I have done for you! What thanks do I get? 636 00:43:22,887 --> 00:43:25,560 No bloody thanks, that's the thanks I get! 637 00:43:25,727 --> 00:43:28,195 (DAMIEN CRIES) 638 00:43:28,367 --> 00:43:30,642 Now look what you've done! 639 00:43:33,007 --> 00:43:36,716 Sh! Damien, sh! It's all right! Daddy's here. 640 00:43:36,887 --> 00:43:38,479 RAQUEL! 641 00:43:40,287 --> 00:43:43,359 When we went on holiday, we had a bloody good time! 642 00:43:43,527 --> 00:43:47,486 YOU had a good time. Everybody else within a radius of 300 yards 643 00:43:47,647 --> 00:43:50,036 was praying their spleen would burst! 644 00:43:50,207 --> 00:43:54,439 You got drunk, shouted at women, got us into fights... 645 00:43:54,607 --> 00:43:57,121 We were on holiday! 646 00:43:57,287 --> 00:44:00,404 Well, this time, I want a more relaxing holiday. 647 00:44:00,567 --> 00:44:02,364 Relaxing? I see. 648 00:44:02,527 --> 00:44:06,122 So what you're trying to say is I'm not relaxing company. 649 00:44:06,287 --> 00:44:09,518 (DAMIEN CRIES) 650 00:44:09,687 --> 00:44:13,157 Raquel! The baby's crying! 651 00:44:15,207 --> 00:44:18,756 Rodney, that's all different now. That was in the past. 652 00:44:18,927 --> 00:44:23,478 I'm a changed man, see? I'm a married man with a baby! 653 00:44:23,647 --> 00:44:28,198 I've got a baby, and that's the reason why I've changed - 654 00:44:28,367 --> 00:44:30,961 because I have got a son whom I cherish. 655 00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:33,561 (RAQUEL SHOUTS) Darling, I'm coming! 656 00:44:33,727 --> 00:44:36,958 And there's the mother of my son whom cherishes me! 657 00:44:37,127 --> 00:44:41,518 (RAQUEL) Don't break your back, Trotter, I'll deal with him (!) 658 00:44:41,687 --> 00:44:44,201 Thank you, sweetheart! Thank you. 659 00:44:44,407 --> 00:44:51,165 Come on, Rodney, you're judging me by a few misguided incidents, that's all! 660 00:44:51,327 --> 00:44:53,397 I've told you, I'm changed now! 661 00:44:53,567 --> 00:44:56,320 Come on! You want to go to Miami, don't ya? 662 00:44:56,487 --> 00:45:03,199 Of course I want to go, but this time I want it to be... sensible. 663 00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:05,005 Sensible? 664 00:45:05,167 --> 00:45:09,683 'Course you do! I'm sensible! Sensible's my middle name! 665 00:45:09,847 --> 00:45:14,159 - (RAQUEL) Will you get me a nappy? - Of course, sweetheart! 666 00:45:14,327 --> 00:45:16,841 See? See that? 667 00:45:18,287 --> 00:45:20,278 Look, Rodney... 668 00:45:20,447 --> 00:45:28,286 I mean, look, all I want to do is just sit on a beach and relax. 669 00:45:28,447 --> 00:45:30,119 Same here. 670 00:45:30,287 --> 00:45:33,723 Well, they've got some blinding beaches in Miami! 671 00:45:33,887 --> 00:45:37,277 - Mmm... - Yeah... 672 00:45:37,447 --> 00:45:41,486 And they've got some fantastic art museums in Miami. 673 00:45:41,647 --> 00:45:43,365 - Yeah? - Oh, yeah. 674 00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:45,836 I wouldn't mind some of that. 675 00:45:46,007 --> 00:45:51,320 And you can have it, Cinders! All you've got to do is say the magic words! 676 00:45:52,567 --> 00:45:55,957 How are you going to swing it with Raquel? 677 00:45:56,127 --> 00:45:58,277 I've already done it. I told... 678 00:46:01,687 --> 00:46:04,884 (HUSHED) I told her. I told her straight. 679 00:46:05,047 --> 00:46:09,199 I said, "I wanna go to Miami with Rodney. You can like it or lump it. 680 00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:12,200 "Pick the bones out of that, darling!" 681 00:46:12,367 --> 00:46:15,916 - (RAQUEL) Derek! - Coming, sweetheart! 682 00:46:16,087 --> 00:46:20,603 Come on! You and me, eh? What do you say? Yeah? Yeah? 683 00:46:20,767 --> 00:46:23,565 - Eh? - Well... 684 00:46:23,727 --> 00:46:27,879 Come on! Say the magic words, Rodney! 685 00:46:28,047 --> 00:46:31,676 - Yeah, all right, then. - Yes! 686 00:46:31,847 --> 00:46:36,238 Good boy! That's it, you see? You know it makes sense! 687 00:46:37,967 --> 00:46:40,037 Where's that nappy? 688 00:46:40,207 --> 00:46:45,327 We're older now, ain't we? We can appreciate the finer things in life. 689 00:46:45,487 --> 00:46:47,478 What? Not half! 690 00:46:47,647 --> 00:46:49,638 - Do you want this? - Yeah. 691 00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:51,798 Thanks! 692 00:46:51,967 --> 00:46:56,006 This time, let's be more, what's the word? Sophisticated. 693 00:46:56,167 --> 00:47:00,001 That's a great word. I've got another word - debonair. 694 00:47:00,167 --> 00:47:02,158 Yeah, yeah. That's a good word! 695 00:47:02,327 --> 00:47:04,966 We're beginning to think alike, bruv! 696 00:47:05,127 --> 00:47:09,245 - (RAQUEL YELLS) Derek! - Coming! I'm on me way! 697 00:47:09,407 --> 00:47:10,886 Look! 698 00:47:11,047 --> 00:47:13,003 (DEL LAUGHS) 699 00:47:13,167 --> 00:47:15,761 Good job I kept them, wasn't it? 700 00:47:30,847 --> 00:47:34,283 - Have you seen it, Rodders? - Seen what? 701 00:47:34,447 --> 00:47:37,359 You know - our plane! 702 00:47:37,527 --> 00:47:40,325 It's only a jumbo jet! 703 00:47:40,487 --> 00:47:43,877 Well, they usually are. This is transatlantic. 704 00:47:44,047 --> 00:47:45,924 Yeah. Transatlantic! 705 00:47:46,887 --> 00:47:51,085 (TANNOY) Would all passengers seated in rows 19 through to 40 706 00:47:51,247 --> 00:47:55,684 - please come forward to board? - Come on, Rodders, that's us! 707 00:47:55,847 --> 00:47:58,680 - There's no hurry! - Yes, there is! Come on! 708 00:47:58,847 --> 00:48:03,398 The sooner we're on the plane, the sooner old Biggles can take off! 709 00:48:08,487 --> 00:48:13,641 Excuse me! What's your game, pal? Come on, there's no rush! 710 00:48:13,807 --> 00:48:17,038 Blimey, anybody would think he owned the plane! 711 00:48:22,807 --> 00:48:27,517 (MUSIC: "EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD" BY TEARS FOR FEARS) 712 00:48:27,727 --> 00:48:31,037 (TEARS FOR FEARS ON DEL'S STEREO) 713 00:48:35,207 --> 00:48:37,767 Hey, hey! We've done it, Rodders! 714 00:48:38,927 --> 00:48:41,361 - Done what? - Eh? 715 00:48:41,527 --> 00:48:44,439 - Done what? - Joined the glitterati! 716 00:48:44,607 --> 00:48:46,086 The glitterati? 717 00:48:46,247 --> 00:48:48,078 Eh? 718 00:48:48,247 --> 00:48:50,203 Take the headphones off! 719 00:48:50,367 --> 00:48:52,358 Eh? 720 00:48:52,527 --> 00:48:56,759 - Sorry. What? - What do you mean, joined the glitterati? 721 00:48:56,927 --> 00:49:00,602 Well, we have, ain't we? We're transatlantic people now. 722 00:49:00,767 --> 00:49:03,964 No more of that Costa Del Sewage for us, bruv. 723 00:49:04,127 --> 00:49:07,437 - We're in the big time now! - I suppose so. 724 00:49:07,607 --> 00:49:12,158 Del, when we land in Miami, before we go to any of the bars, 725 00:49:12,327 --> 00:49:16,684 we gotta sort ourselves out some transport and accommodation. 726 00:49:16,847 --> 00:49:22,365 It's all taken care of. Alex, the travel agent, faxed one of his people in the States. 727 00:49:22,527 --> 00:49:25,837 So we're all fixed up! Ace! 728 00:49:26,007 --> 00:49:29,886 I'll pay Alex when I get back. I'll do it on me credit card. 729 00:49:30,047 --> 00:49:32,402 - I've already done it. - Good. 730 00:49:33,807 --> 00:49:36,719 - What, on my credit card? - Yeah. 731 00:49:36,887 --> 00:49:39,560 That's what you were gonna do, wasn't it? 732 00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:41,046 Yeah. 733 00:49:41,207 --> 00:49:43,880 I've saved you the bother, bruvver! 734 00:49:44,047 --> 00:49:47,722 This is your holiday and I don't want nothing to mar it. 735 00:49:47,887 --> 00:49:49,525 Thanks. 736 00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:52,326 We're gonna live it up a little, ain't we? 737 00:49:52,487 --> 00:49:55,957 Yes, but there are two kinds of living it up, Del - 738 00:49:56,127 --> 00:49:59,199 enjoying the freedom from the stresses of work, 739 00:49:59,367 --> 00:50:04,282 filling the mind with new sights and sounds, experiencing local cuisine, 740 00:50:04,447 --> 00:50:08,520 even indulging in the gifts of nature such as the sea and the sun. 741 00:50:08,687 --> 00:50:12,362 - And then there's your kind! - What exactly do you...? 742 00:50:12,527 --> 00:50:14,643 There will be no women on this trip! 743 00:50:14,807 --> 00:50:18,083 Can you be more pacific? 744 00:50:18,247 --> 00:50:22,081 This holiday is not going to be another Benidorm Revisited. 745 00:50:22,247 --> 00:50:26,798 If I see just one bra hanging off our car aerial, I'm out of there! 746 00:50:26,967 --> 00:50:31,961 I'm not going to do anything like that! I would never have even thought of it! 747 00:50:32,127 --> 00:50:37,838 I don't know what goes on in that mind of yours, you dirty little devil! 748 00:50:41,847 --> 00:50:47,319 I'm gonna have a little nap. Give us a nudge when the old drinks arrive. 749 00:50:47,487 --> 00:50:49,682 How does this go back? 750 00:50:49,847 --> 00:50:51,644 (SMASHING GLASS) 751 00:50:51,807 --> 00:50:55,356 (WOMAN) Look what you've done! (DEL) Sorry about that! 752 00:50:55,527 --> 00:50:58,200 (DEL) That will clean off. Ask for a cloth. 753 00:50:58,367 --> 00:51:00,358 (WOMAN) It's dry clean only! 754 00:51:00,527 --> 00:51:03,439 (DEL) That's just on the label to impress ya! 755 00:51:03,607 --> 00:51:07,077 Give me a serviette and I'll do it! 756 00:51:25,527 --> 00:51:27,643 # Hot town, summer in the city 757 00:51:27,807 --> 00:51:30,241 # Back of my neck getting dirty, gritty 758 00:51:30,407 --> 00:51:32,523 # Been down, isn't it a pity 759 00:51:32,687 --> 00:51:36,805 # Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city All around me, people looking half dead 760 00:51:36,967 --> 00:51:40,721 # Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head 761 00:51:40,887 --> 00:51:42,878 # But at night it's a different world 762 00:51:43,047 --> 00:51:44,924 # Go out and find a girl 763 00:51:45,087 --> 00:51:47,282 # Come on, come on, we'll dance all night 764 00:51:47,447 --> 00:51:49,438 # Despite the heat it'll be all right 765 00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:53,998 # And, babe, don't you know it's a pity The days can't be more like the nights 766 00:51:54,167 --> 00:51:56,078 # In the summer, in the city 767 00:51:56,247 --> 00:51:57,760 # In the summer 768 00:51:57,927 --> 00:52:02,079 # In the city 769 00:52:02,247 --> 00:52:06,638 # Cool town, evening in the city Dressed so fine and looking so pretty 770 00:52:06,807 --> 00:52:08,843 # I'm a cool cat looking for a kitty 771 00:52:09,007 --> 00:52:11,123 # Gonna look in every corner of the city 772 00:52:11,287 --> 00:52:13,517 # Till I'm wheezing at the bus stop 773 00:52:13,687 --> 00:52:16,963 # Running up the stairs, I'm gonna meet you on the roof top 774 00:52:17,127 --> 00:52:21,006 # But at night it's a different world Go out and find a girl 775 00:52:21,167 --> 00:52:23,635 # Come on, come on, we'll dance all night 776 00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:25,798 # Despite the heat it'll be all right 777 00:52:25,967 --> 00:52:28,401 # And, babe, don't you know it's a pity 778 00:52:28,567 --> 00:52:32,446 # The days can't be more like the nights In the summer, in the city 779 00:52:32,607 --> 00:52:34,757 # In the summer 780 00:52:34,927 --> 00:52:40,445 # In the city... # 781 00:52:42,287 --> 00:52:46,439 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 782 00:53:11,287 --> 00:53:14,916 - Hello, anybody here? - (MAN) Hello! I'm in here! 783 00:53:19,487 --> 00:53:21,239 Hi, how ya doing? 784 00:53:21,407 --> 00:53:27,164 Our travel agent reckons he's booked a car for us with you. 785 00:53:28,127 --> 00:53:32,120 - OK. You guys on vacation? - Yeah, a week's holiday. 786 00:53:32,287 --> 00:53:36,838 No kidding? You come all the way from Australia for a week? 787 00:53:37,007 --> 00:53:41,842 No, we're not from Australia. No, we are English. 788 00:53:42,007 --> 00:53:44,805 You could have fooled me! 789 00:53:46,087 --> 00:53:49,875 I won't hold you up. I'll bring it round the front for you. 790 00:53:50,047 --> 00:53:51,765 OK. 791 00:53:52,087 --> 00:53:54,078 Hey, look at this! 792 00:53:54,247 --> 00:53:58,684 - We'll have some of that, eh? - Yeah, a nice little boat trip! 793 00:53:58,847 --> 00:54:01,566 - Do us the world of good! - Yeah! 794 00:54:07,287 --> 00:54:12,600 Wotcha, America! This is going to be a holiday to remember, innit? 795 00:54:12,767 --> 00:54:15,235 You said it, bruv! 796 00:54:16,687 --> 00:54:19,679 (RUMBLING ENGINE) 797 00:54:19,847 --> 00:54:22,645 Here we go, Rodders! 798 00:54:30,007 --> 00:54:33,556 - What the hell is this thing?! - Have a nice day! 799 00:54:33,727 --> 00:54:35,604 - And you! - Thank you. 800 00:54:35,767 --> 00:54:40,158 - What are we going to do with that? - That is where we're going to live. 801 00:54:40,327 --> 00:54:42,124 Alex recommended it. 802 00:54:42,287 --> 00:54:46,405 The advantage is, we don't have to stay in one spot. 803 00:54:46,567 --> 00:54:49,718 We can move about a bit and it's cheap. 804 00:54:49,887 --> 00:54:55,644 Del, there is no way I am going to spend any time in this mobile ghetto with you! 805 00:54:55,807 --> 00:54:58,605 You're not going to spend any time... 806 00:54:58,767 --> 00:55:03,079 I was only trying to save you money, and we won't be trapped, will we? 807 00:55:03,247 --> 00:55:07,206 When we get to a campsite, we can dump this and go walkies. 808 00:55:07,367 --> 00:55:10,518 We could have booked a hotel! Oh, bloody hell! 809 00:55:12,847 --> 00:55:15,236 I don't believe that I've got... 810 00:55:17,767 --> 00:55:20,520 All right, on one condition! 811 00:55:20,687 --> 00:55:22,757 What is the condition? 812 00:55:22,927 --> 00:55:24,679 No curries! 813 00:55:26,567 --> 00:55:29,877 All right, no curries. 814 00:55:31,927 --> 00:55:36,284 Come on, then! Let's go and see America! Hey, hey! 815 00:55:43,367 --> 00:55:46,404 (LAUGHS) 816 00:55:46,567 --> 00:55:48,558 Here we go, Rodders! 817 00:55:48,727 --> 00:55:51,400 # Oh, the Yellow Rose of Texas 818 00:55:51,567 --> 00:55:54,127 # Is the one I'm gonna see 819 00:55:54,287 --> 00:55:58,565 # The Yellow Rose of Texas is the only girl for me! # 820 00:55:58,727 --> 00:56:00,524 - DEL! - (MAN) You jerk! 821 00:56:00,687 --> 00:56:03,918 You're on the wrong side of the road! 822 00:56:05,287 --> 00:56:10,202 - They drive on the right-hand side over here! - Oh, yeah! 823 00:56:12,447 --> 00:56:16,281 # Oh, the Yellow Rose of Texas is the one I'm gonna see! 824 00:56:16,447 --> 00:56:20,235 # The Yellow Rose of Texas is the only girl for me! # 825 00:56:43,607 --> 00:56:45,598 Yeah, what is it? 826 00:56:45,767 --> 00:56:47,166 All right. 827 00:56:49,367 --> 00:56:55,681 Hey, Tony, Lurch, Gino, smarten up! The Don's left the courthouse. 828 00:58:01,687 --> 00:58:04,247 - Rico. - Yeah, Pop? 829 00:58:04,407 --> 00:58:07,877 Who are those goons in the car? 830 00:58:08,047 --> 00:58:14,282 - Police surveillance, nothing to worry about. - Nothing to worry about?! 831 00:58:14,527 --> 00:58:18,281 I got cops outside my front gate! What happened to my civil rights? 832 00:58:18,847 --> 00:58:22,601 They kinda diminished after they arrested you, Pop. 833 00:58:22,767 --> 00:58:25,839 But you've been released on bail, so be happy. 834 00:58:26,007 --> 00:58:30,922 Be happy (!) Be happy, huh? 835 00:58:31,087 --> 00:58:34,682 One week from now, I got a jury sitting in judgement on me! 836 00:58:34,847 --> 00:58:39,967 I might spend the rest of my life in San Quentin, and my son wants to throw a party! 837 00:58:41,127 --> 00:58:46,599 What are ya, huh? What are ya? I want to speak to my lawyer now! 838 00:58:46,767 --> 00:58:48,519 Salvatore! 839 00:59:12,567 --> 00:59:15,604 Salvatore... 840 00:59:16,549 --> 00:59:18,938 Don Occhetti. 841 00:59:21,189 --> 00:59:23,578 Salvatore... 842 00:59:23,749 --> 00:59:27,298 - Haven't I always been good to you? - Yes, Don Occhetti. 843 00:59:27,469 --> 00:59:32,065 - Haven't I done favours for your family? - Yes, Don Occhetti. 844 00:59:32,229 --> 00:59:35,744 - Have I ever done you harm? - There was that time when... 845 00:59:35,909 --> 00:59:38,218 No, Don Occhetti. 846 00:59:43,149 --> 00:59:50,100 So maybe this time, Salvatore can help me, because I'm a little confused. 847 00:59:50,869 --> 00:59:54,305 This is the way I read the situation. 848 00:59:54,469 --> 00:59:58,223 - You're my lawyer, correct? - Yes, Don Occhetti. 849 00:59:58,389 --> 01:00:03,782 Yet here I am looking at three to four life sentences in the slammer, 850 01:00:03,949 --> 01:00:09,262 so why the hell don't you get off your ass and bury this rap? 851 01:00:09,429 --> 01:00:14,378 - We have problems proving your innocence. - Why? 852 01:00:14,549 --> 01:00:20,465 'Cause you're guilty. When I say "guilty", what I mean is... 853 01:00:20,629 --> 01:00:24,668 - Guilty of what?! - Kidnapping, drug-smuggling, 854 01:00:24,829 --> 01:00:28,344 accessory to three counts of murder. Just gossip! 855 01:00:28,509 --> 01:00:34,186 Hmm... Maybe I made a few mistakes in the past, you know? 856 01:00:34,349 --> 01:00:36,465 Nobody's perfect! 857 01:00:39,909 --> 01:00:44,619 You listen to me. When my father - God bless that man's spirit - 858 01:00:46,549 --> 01:00:50,019 when he arrived on these shores from Sicily in 1930, 859 01:00:50,189 --> 01:00:53,101 this was a land of democracy and law and order. 860 01:00:53,269 --> 01:00:58,627 Now, he fought to change all that, but look at us now, huh? 861 01:00:59,789 --> 01:01:03,498 What have all his efforts amounted to, huh? 862 01:01:03,669 --> 01:01:07,708 Zilch, that's what. Zilcho! 863 01:01:09,469 --> 01:01:13,621 Salvatore, you call yourself a lawyer? You're a schmuck! 864 01:01:16,189 --> 01:01:19,147 And that goes for you, too, Rico! 865 01:01:22,109 --> 01:01:27,342 If your mother was alive - God bless her soul - she would disown you! 866 01:01:27,509 --> 01:01:29,261 Come on, Pop! 867 01:01:29,429 --> 01:01:35,345 I tell you this, Rico, I never thought I'd see the day when a son of mine would stand back 868 01:01:35,509 --> 01:01:39,661 and watch his own father spend the rest of his life in the state pen 869 01:01:39,829 --> 01:01:42,980 sharing meat loaf with the faggots! 870 01:01:43,149 --> 01:01:50,146 If I go down, all the families will carve up our empire like dogs fighting over a weenie-roast. 871 01:01:50,309 --> 01:01:52,982 Every Marielito-punk from Little Havana 872 01:01:53,149 --> 01:01:56,107 will want a slice! And what about the Colombian? 873 01:01:57,269 --> 01:02:01,228 - What Colombian? - "What Colombian?" he says! 874 01:02:01,389 --> 01:02:05,428 - What, are you a jerk, Salvatore? - Just sit down, will ya? 875 01:02:12,309 --> 01:02:18,987 Next week, Senor Vasquez arrives here from Colombia to settle our little deal. 876 01:02:19,149 --> 01:02:23,461 What do you think he's gonna do if he thinks I've gone down the tube? 877 01:02:25,709 --> 01:02:31,545 I'm getting very worried, Salvatore. I'm getting very nervous about the future. 878 01:02:31,709 --> 01:02:33,108 (BURPS) 879 01:02:33,269 --> 01:02:36,181 Do you hear that? That's peptic gas. 880 01:02:36,349 --> 01:02:39,546 That's caused by nervous exhaustion! 881 01:02:41,749 --> 01:02:47,540 What happened to the ancient Sicilian traditions of bribery, blackmail and intimidation? 882 01:02:50,949 --> 01:02:55,500 This isn't the police. This is the FBI. We can't pay those guys off. 883 01:02:55,669 --> 01:02:58,058 The jury is locked in a guarded hotel, 884 01:02:58,229 --> 01:03:02,302 the witnesses got 24-hour protection. We can't reach anybody! 885 01:03:02,469 --> 01:03:05,779 - Maybe I should do something, huh? - You can't, Pop! 886 01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:09,100 The police surveillance team is watching you. 887 01:03:09,269 --> 01:03:13,308 They even got a TV camera crew filming you for a documentary. 888 01:03:13,469 --> 01:03:17,257 They're filming me? Am I a common criminal or something? 889 01:03:19,149 --> 01:03:23,301 Rico, take some money from the family account and buy me the DA. 890 01:03:23,469 --> 01:03:28,259 You buy me the judge, you buy me the senator. People owe me favours. 891 01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:32,468 - I want these favours returned! - We've tried and had no takers. 892 01:03:32,629 --> 01:03:35,860 It looks like people are turning their backs on you. 893 01:03:36,029 --> 01:03:41,467 That is a very impolite and highly dangerous thing to do! 894 01:03:47,789 --> 01:03:50,349 This is what I want you to do. 895 01:03:50,509 --> 01:03:53,740 I want you to keep searching and to keep thinking, 896 01:03:53,909 --> 01:03:59,700 because somewhere, somewhere out there lies the answer to my problems! 897 01:04:06,389 --> 01:04:10,177 Look at the state of that! You wouldn't go near that 898 01:04:10,349 --> 01:04:12,658 unless you had all your own teeth! 899 01:04:16,709 --> 01:04:20,258 They say that smoking's BAD for your chest (!) 900 01:04:20,429 --> 01:04:23,865 (TANNOY) Miami has been nicknamed "Cocainesville", 901 01:04:24,029 --> 01:04:28,705 and the officers of Biscayne Bay fight a year-round battle with drug runners. 902 01:04:31,349 --> 01:04:35,581 On your left is the home of Barry Gibb, lead singer of the Bee Gees. 903 01:04:35,749 --> 01:04:41,062 - Rodders, look! There's a real live Bee Gee! - 'Course it ain't! 904 01:04:41,229 --> 01:04:45,541 - He's probably the gardener! - It's him! It's Barry Gibb! 905 01:04:45,709 --> 01:04:47,700 (DEL SHOUTS) All right, Bazza? 906 01:04:50,149 --> 01:04:53,619 - Shut up! That's not him! - It is! 907 01:04:53,789 --> 01:04:57,987 (SHOUTS) How deep is your love, is your love? How deep is your love? 908 01:04:59,149 --> 01:05:00,946 I need all this (!) 909 01:05:04,389 --> 01:05:07,028 I reckon you was right, Rodders. It weren't him. 910 01:05:07,189 --> 01:05:11,182 - Most probably the gardener. - Yeah? What did I say? 911 01:05:22,749 --> 01:05:25,343 (DISCO MUSIC) 912 01:05:36,669 --> 01:05:39,183 Come on, Rodney, bellies in! 913 01:05:39,349 --> 01:05:44,582 I still think it would be better to drive to the camper site now and book in first. 914 01:05:44,749 --> 01:05:49,823 It's only quarter to eight. There's plenty of time to get to the old campsite! 915 01:05:49,989 --> 01:05:54,141 There's also plenty of time for you to get drunk after we've booked in! 916 01:05:54,309 --> 01:05:59,827 Get drunk? You enjoy putting me down, don't you? 917 01:05:59,989 --> 01:06:04,426 You think I'm just a one-dimensional person. Well, you're wrong! 918 01:06:04,589 --> 01:06:08,343 The only reason I want to go into that club is to phone Raquel, 919 01:06:08,509 --> 01:06:12,502 because I promised her I would as soon as we arrived. 920 01:06:12,669 --> 01:06:16,139 What's wrong with the public call box over there? 921 01:06:16,309 --> 01:06:18,823 You can't get a drink in there! 922 01:06:20,349 --> 01:06:24,342 - Come on! - What shall we do with our luggage? 923 01:06:24,509 --> 01:06:28,502 Let's bring it with us and put it in the middle of the dance floor 924 01:06:28,669 --> 01:06:32,139 and boogie round it like them sorts at the Nag's Head 925 01:06:32,309 --> 01:06:35,062 when they have a disco with their handbags! 926 01:06:35,229 --> 01:06:37,220 No need to be sarky! 927 01:06:37,389 --> 01:06:40,620 What are you talking about, disco and boogie? 928 01:06:40,789 --> 01:06:42,780 Del, I am not boogie-ing! 929 01:06:42,949 --> 01:06:46,624 Keep your voice down! We are ambassadors for our country! 930 01:06:46,789 --> 01:06:51,101 We don't want people thinking we're lager louts! Excuse me. Mais oui! 931 01:06:51,869 --> 01:06:55,066 (DISCO MUSIC) 932 01:07:12,709 --> 01:07:16,987 Hey, Juan! Over here, Juan! When you're ready, son. 933 01:07:17,149 --> 01:07:21,142 Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm sorry, but this club is for members only. 934 01:07:21,309 --> 01:07:24,346 You what? 935 01:07:24,509 --> 01:07:27,262 Sorry, signore, I did not realise it was you! 936 01:07:27,429 --> 01:07:31,707 Please accept my deepest and sincerest apologies! 937 01:07:31,869 --> 01:07:36,989 I am honoured that you should choose to visit my humble nightclub. 938 01:07:37,149 --> 01:07:39,902 Please may I offer you a drink? 939 01:07:40,069 --> 01:07:42,060 Yeah, we'll have a Cuba Libre 940 01:07:42,229 --> 01:07:45,266 - and something non-alcoholic. - Of course. 941 01:07:45,429 --> 01:07:50,503 - We'll be sitting over there. - I will be with you immediately. 942 01:07:56,509 --> 01:08:00,548 (RICO) There's gonna be a war! (SALVATORE) Maybe not. 943 01:08:00,709 --> 01:08:05,305 The only thing that can prevent it is if you find an alibi for my father. 944 01:08:05,469 --> 01:08:08,302 I have to find your father nine alibis! 945 01:08:08,469 --> 01:08:11,267 How the hell am I supposed to do that in a week? 946 01:08:11,429 --> 01:08:15,581 How can the Justice Department do this? Don't they know who he is? 947 01:08:15,749 --> 01:08:20,220 - Yeah, that's the problem! - When the jury foreman says "Guilty", 948 01:08:20,389 --> 01:08:22,027 the war begins. 949 01:08:22,189 --> 01:08:23,588 Maybe not. 950 01:08:23,749 --> 01:08:29,426 Do you think the rest of the families are gonna pretend the old man is still in power? 951 01:08:29,589 --> 01:08:33,138 - They're gonna go to war! Am I right? - You're right. 952 01:08:33,309 --> 01:08:34,662 - Tony? - Right. 953 01:08:34,829 --> 01:08:36,581 - Am I right? - Maybe not. 954 01:08:36,749 --> 01:08:38,546 You see? 955 01:08:39,749 --> 01:08:42,024 There's gonna be a war! 956 01:08:42,189 --> 01:08:45,898 - Signore Ricardo... - Can't you see I'm in a meeting? 957 01:08:46,069 --> 01:08:48,105 I would like to explain. 958 01:08:48,269 --> 01:08:53,468 If I had know HE was coming tonight, I would have arranged a private room. 959 01:08:53,629 --> 01:08:55,938 If you'd known who was coming here? 960 01:08:56,109 --> 01:08:58,020 Your father. 961 01:08:59,389 --> 01:09:03,064 - My father. - (PAULY) Is this some kind of joke? 962 01:09:03,229 --> 01:09:07,586 Don Occhetti can't even get to the john without the police tailing him. 963 01:09:07,749 --> 01:09:11,025 But he is here! See for yourself! 964 01:09:23,109 --> 01:09:25,862 Lovely jubbly! How much do we owe you? 965 01:09:26,029 --> 01:09:30,181 Please! It's on the house. You are my guests! 966 01:09:30,349 --> 01:09:35,548 - Would you like to eat? - No, thanks. We had something earlier. 967 01:09:35,709 --> 01:09:41,625 If there's anything that you should require, as always, I am at your service! 968 01:09:41,869 --> 01:09:43,860 Big mouth! 969 01:09:44,029 --> 01:09:47,146 The grub would most probably be free an' all! 970 01:09:47,309 --> 01:09:48,901 'Course it wouldn't! 971 01:09:49,669 --> 01:09:52,661 Do you know what we're dealing with here? 972 01:09:52,829 --> 01:09:56,663 - What? - American hospitality! They're famous for it! 973 01:09:56,829 --> 01:10:00,105 The most friendliest people in the entire world! 974 01:10:00,269 --> 01:10:04,023 Come on! Come on! Yo, Gino, it's Tony. 975 01:10:04,189 --> 01:10:07,898 Is the Don there? He's in the pool. 976 01:10:10,229 --> 01:10:12,220 Can you actually see him? 977 01:10:14,109 --> 01:10:16,065 Good! Dad's at home. 978 01:10:16,229 --> 01:10:18,618 The guy over there ain't him! 979 01:10:21,309 --> 01:10:26,667 Listen carefully. Tell my father to stay in his room till I get back tonight. 980 01:10:26,829 --> 01:10:31,345 Just... tell him I may have a surprise for him. 981 01:10:41,909 --> 01:10:44,264 Tell you what... 982 01:10:44,429 --> 01:10:48,661 - I'm boilin'! - That's strange, that. 983 01:10:48,829 --> 01:10:54,028 Here you are in a tropical climate, wearing a worsted polyester blue serge suit, 984 01:10:54,189 --> 01:10:56,180 - and you feel hot? - Yeah. 985 01:10:56,349 --> 01:10:59,546 Weird! 986 01:10:59,709 --> 01:11:01,540 Hi! 987 01:11:01,709 --> 01:11:03,427 How you guys doing? 988 01:11:04,589 --> 01:11:09,105 All right. Yeah - great time. Smashing, thank you. 989 01:11:09,269 --> 01:11:13,057 Good. Let me guess. You're not local people. 990 01:11:13,229 --> 01:11:15,823 (RODNEY) No. 991 01:11:36,309 --> 01:11:38,425 (LAUGHTER) 992 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:43,227 (INDISTINCT) 993 01:11:43,389 --> 01:11:46,461 Come on, one more. One more. 994 01:11:46,629 --> 01:11:49,621 No, really. We're pushing our luck as it is. 995 01:11:49,789 --> 01:11:51,268 No, he's right, Rico. 996 01:11:51,429 --> 01:11:53,863 - Come on! - You've got time for one more. 997 01:11:54,029 --> 01:11:57,499 - Go on, then, one for the road. - No, Del. Come on, mate. 998 01:11:57,669 --> 01:12:01,378 The campsite will be shut and we'll be locked out. 999 01:12:01,549 --> 01:12:05,827 I didn't realise it was so late. We've got to be going. 1000 01:12:05,989 --> 01:12:09,823 Well, Rodney... Del Boy! 1001 01:12:09,989 --> 01:12:12,025 Rico! 1002 01:12:12,189 --> 01:12:16,068 Thanks very much! It's been really great meeting you guys! 1003 01:12:16,229 --> 01:12:20,825 Thanks a lot, and we enjoyed your company and everything. 1004 01:12:20,989 --> 01:12:25,505 We've got to go. See you later, yeah? Thanks a lot. 1005 01:12:35,749 --> 01:12:38,741 What a blinding night, eh, Rodders? 1006 01:12:38,909 --> 01:12:41,548 They were a nice bunch of blokes. 1007 01:12:41,709 --> 01:12:44,621 Well, they were absolute 42-carat diamonds. 1008 01:12:44,789 --> 01:12:47,098 We was drinking with them all night, 1009 01:12:47,269 --> 01:12:50,341 never had to put our hands in our pockets, did we? 1010 01:12:58,749 --> 01:13:01,741 What's the matter? What's happened? 1011 01:13:01,909 --> 01:13:04,218 - What's the matter? - It's all gone! 1012 01:13:04,389 --> 01:13:08,780 They've nicked it - our suitcases, flight bags, duty frees - the lot! 1013 01:13:08,949 --> 01:13:12,259 I don't believe it! 1014 01:13:12,429 --> 01:13:14,420 I do not believe it! 1015 01:13:14,589 --> 01:13:18,423 I mean, we was only in there half an hour! 1016 01:13:19,709 --> 01:13:22,223 Well, four hours. 1017 01:13:22,389 --> 01:13:25,381 What's gonna happen? How we gonna get home? 1018 01:13:25,549 --> 01:13:28,302 - Now, Del, don't panic! - Eh? 1019 01:13:28,469 --> 01:13:32,621 Listen, I took the passports and flight tickets in there with us. 1020 01:13:32,789 --> 01:13:36,782 Rodney, you are a saint, mate! You are a saint! 1021 01:13:36,949 --> 01:13:39,144 Well done! Where's the money? 1022 01:13:39,309 --> 01:13:42,699 - I left that in the van. - You plonker, Rodney! 1023 01:13:42,869 --> 01:13:46,782 You told me to! And you told me to leave the luggage in the back! 1024 01:13:46,949 --> 01:13:49,258 Why didn't you use your initiative? 1025 01:13:49,429 --> 01:13:52,341 I didn't even want to go in to that bloody club! 1026 01:13:52,509 --> 01:13:54,898 All right! Calm down! 1027 01:13:56,309 --> 01:13:58,823 Cor, stone me! I don't know... 1028 01:13:59,789 --> 01:14:02,508 How much money we got between us? 1029 01:14:06,709 --> 01:14:10,543 - What's that? - 32 dollars, right? 1030 01:14:10,709 --> 01:14:13,018 What can we get for 32 dollars? 1031 01:14:14,389 --> 01:14:15,788 Mugged! 1032 01:14:15,949 --> 01:14:19,578 Hey! You two guys still here? Let me guess - 1033 01:14:19,749 --> 01:14:24,425 you decided to come back and have that one for the road with us! 1034 01:14:24,589 --> 01:14:28,628 No, I wish we had, Rico. No, we're thinking of going to the police. 1035 01:14:28,789 --> 01:14:32,418 - Why? You got a problem? - Yeah, we've been robbed. 1036 01:14:32,589 --> 01:14:36,502 - You're kidding! - No, I wish we was! 1037 01:14:36,669 --> 01:14:39,706 They broke into the van and took everything! 1038 01:14:39,869 --> 01:14:42,827 Oh, gee, that is too bad! 1039 01:14:42,989 --> 01:14:48,825 God, I feel so embarrassed! You just arrive in this country and this happens? 1040 01:14:48,989 --> 01:14:50,468 What a welcome! 1041 01:14:50,629 --> 01:14:55,259 - It's just one of them things. - What are you guys gonna do? 1042 01:14:55,429 --> 01:15:02,346 I don't know. We got no money, no clothes, no duty frees, we got nothing! 1043 01:15:02,509 --> 01:15:05,148 We'll have to get the police to sort it out. 1044 01:15:05,309 --> 01:15:07,220 The cops'll do diddly squat! 1045 01:15:07,389 --> 01:15:10,222 They don't know their ass from first base! 1046 01:15:10,389 --> 01:15:15,702 But... Salvatore here's a lawyer. 1047 01:15:15,869 --> 01:15:19,703 Maybe he could talk to some of his friends at the DA's office? 1048 01:15:19,869 --> 01:15:22,463 Yeah, first thing in the morning. 1049 01:15:22,629 --> 01:15:26,019 Could you do that? That would be very nice of you. 1050 01:15:26,189 --> 01:15:28,623 - Wouldn't it, Rodders? - Yeah! 1051 01:15:28,789 --> 01:15:34,466 In the meantime, you two guys are coming home with me. 1052 01:15:55,709 --> 01:15:59,622 - Is this your place, Rico? - It belongs to my family. 1053 01:16:01,949 --> 01:16:04,668 (DEL) Very nice! 1054 01:16:10,669 --> 01:16:13,706 (OPERA MUSIC) 1055 01:16:13,869 --> 01:16:16,463 What sort of business are you in, Rico? 1056 01:16:16,629 --> 01:16:19,223 (RICO) We're in insurance and imports. 1057 01:16:19,389 --> 01:16:22,825 (DEL) Imports and exports? (RICO) No, just imports. 1058 01:16:22,989 --> 01:16:25,549 Well, this is it! 1059 01:16:27,109 --> 01:16:30,784 - Welcome! - Thank you! 1060 01:16:37,789 --> 01:16:40,542 (INTERCOM BUZZES) 1061 01:16:40,709 --> 01:16:45,225 - Yo! - Rico, I want you up here fast! 1062 01:16:45,389 --> 01:16:47,380 I'll be right up. 1063 01:16:50,749 --> 01:16:54,025 I'll show you to your guest suite. 1064 01:16:54,189 --> 01:16:56,180 Guest SUITE! 1065 01:16:56,349 --> 01:16:59,421 We've fallen on our feet here, bruv! 1066 01:17:02,909 --> 01:17:04,820 You see 'em? 1067 01:17:04,989 --> 01:17:08,823 And I heard 'em! Why are you bringing Australians home? 1068 01:17:08,989 --> 01:17:13,938 They're two English guys over here on vacation. They're in the guest suite. 1069 01:17:14,109 --> 01:17:18,182 Why are you bringing limeys into my house?! I hate limeys! 1070 01:17:18,349 --> 01:17:20,340 We met 'em at the club. 1071 01:17:20,509 --> 01:17:25,060 Wait a minute... What are you doing, picking up guys in bars? 1072 01:17:25,229 --> 01:17:30,781 Are you getting light on your feet? Is there too much air in your Nikes? 1073 01:17:30,949 --> 01:17:35,022 These two bozos could be the answer to your prayers. 1074 01:17:35,189 --> 01:17:40,104 One of them is a dead ringer for you. Even Francisco thought he was serving you. 1075 01:17:40,269 --> 01:17:44,057 Look, I saw them on the security monitor. 1076 01:17:44,229 --> 01:17:47,221 I saw no similarity whatsoever. 1077 01:17:47,389 --> 01:17:51,018 He's much taller than me. He's a thinner guy altogether. 1078 01:17:51,189 --> 01:17:53,419 No, the other one. 1079 01:17:53,589 --> 01:17:57,502 The squirty little dude with the polecat face? 1080 01:17:57,669 --> 01:17:59,227 Yeah. 1081 01:18:03,309 --> 01:18:06,142 I see, Salvatore. 1082 01:18:06,309 --> 01:18:12,828 Salvatore... this is your lucky day, 'cause I'm in a good mood! 1083 01:18:12,989 --> 01:18:16,106 I'm only gonna break ONE of your legs! 1084 01:18:18,709 --> 01:18:23,737 And 'cause you're a member of the family... I'm gonna do it slowly! 1085 01:18:24,509 --> 01:18:28,900 Pop, it was dark outside. You couldn't see him clearly! 1086 01:18:29,069 --> 01:18:32,425 - Tell him, Sal! - It's true. He looks just like you. 1087 01:18:32,589 --> 01:18:35,422 Last year I went to the zoo and I saw a camel. 1088 01:18:35,589 --> 01:18:41,937 It looked just like your mother, but I didn't invite it home and put it in the guest suite! 1089 01:18:42,109 --> 01:18:45,784 So there's a guy who looks like me! What's the big deal? 1090 01:18:46,829 --> 01:18:55,021 I'll tell you what the big deal is. Imagine this guy dressed up in your clothes. 1091 01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:58,704 In MY clothes? Are you out of your mind?! 1092 01:18:58,869 --> 01:19:04,148 We dress the limey up in your clothes and take him out to eat in a nice restaurant. 1093 01:19:04,309 --> 01:19:08,780 Now, while he's having lunch in full public view, 1094 01:19:08,949 --> 01:19:12,862 - somebody blows him away! - This is something I do not advise! 1095 01:19:13,029 --> 01:19:18,103 Everybody will think the other families have had you killed. 1096 01:19:18,269 --> 01:19:20,305 Don't you see what this means? 1097 01:19:20,469 --> 01:19:22,585 What? 1098 01:19:22,749 --> 01:19:24,740 Tell him, Sal. 1099 01:19:26,229 --> 01:19:29,904 In the eyes of America, there will be no more Don Occhetti. 1100 01:19:30,069 --> 01:19:33,266 No more Don Occhetti equals no more trial. 1101 01:19:33,429 --> 01:19:36,819 No more trial equals no more prison sentence. 1102 01:19:36,989 --> 01:19:39,264 You sneak off to Rio for a few years, 1103 01:19:39,429 --> 01:19:44,503 long enough for your plastic surgery to heal, and come back as Uncle...? 1104 01:19:44,669 --> 01:19:47,661 - Carlo. ...Carlo from New Jersey, 1105 01:19:47,829 --> 01:19:50,138 and take over the family business! 1106 01:19:51,789 --> 01:19:54,178 Rico... 1107 01:19:56,109 --> 01:20:00,261 ...sometimes during my life I have doubted that you were my child. 1108 01:20:00,429 --> 01:20:03,819 Sometimes I thought that the hospital had screwed up 1109 01:20:03,989 --> 01:20:07,948 and given us the baby of a family from Pittsburgh. 1110 01:20:08,109 --> 01:20:12,307 But I take it all back - you are definitely my son! 1111 01:20:13,469 --> 01:20:16,142 It's brilliant! It's wonderful! 1112 01:20:17,029 --> 01:20:19,782 It also means one less limey in the world! 1113 01:20:19,949 --> 01:20:23,100 Two. His brother gets a one-way ticket also. 1114 01:20:23,269 --> 01:20:26,784 Have you had a butchers at the bog? It's solid marble! 1115 01:20:26,949 --> 01:20:31,739 None of that stick-on gear from the old DIY! This is the real McCoy! 1116 01:20:33,349 --> 01:20:36,659 Someone up there loves us! 1117 01:20:37,509 --> 01:20:40,899 Sh! I'm up to channel 49! 1118 01:20:41,069 --> 01:20:45,426 - How many channels are there? - That's what I'm researching. 1119 01:20:45,589 --> 01:20:50,982 Good boy. I always said you should be a scientist! Look at this! 1120 01:20:51,149 --> 01:20:55,301 It can't be bad, can it? Look at this! 1121 01:20:56,229 --> 01:21:00,507 Don't let the limeys call home. No one must know about this address. 1122 01:21:00,669 --> 01:21:04,139 Lurch is cutting all the phones except our business line. 1123 01:21:04,309 --> 01:21:07,585 As far as everyone in jolly old England is concerned, 1124 01:21:07,749 --> 01:21:10,502 they've vanished off the face of the earth. 1125 01:21:10,669 --> 01:21:14,059 They can blame it on the Bermuda Triangle! 1126 01:21:15,229 --> 01:21:19,666 - Or the Twilight Zone! - The Twilight Zone! 1127 01:21:23,309 --> 01:21:25,903 We have struck gold here, bruv. 1128 01:21:26,069 --> 01:21:30,665 We'll have to show Rico our gratitude - get him a present or something. 1129 01:21:30,829 --> 01:21:34,026 Yeah, we'll do that. Hey, we've got no money! 1130 01:21:34,189 --> 01:21:36,749 Never mind, I'll nip him for a few quid! 1131 01:21:36,909 --> 01:21:39,264 Blimey! We'd better phone in to HQ! 1132 01:21:39,429 --> 01:21:42,023 Raquel will be going spare! 1133 01:21:44,989 --> 01:21:46,980 Oh, the line's dead! 1134 01:21:47,149 --> 01:21:49,140 Well, do that. 1135 01:21:49,309 --> 01:21:51,300 Why? 1136 01:21:51,469 --> 01:21:54,188 That's what they do in American films! 1137 01:21:54,349 --> 01:21:56,340 Oh, yes! 1138 01:21:58,549 --> 01:22:00,028 No, it's still dead. 1139 01:22:00,189 --> 01:22:01,907 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 1140 01:22:02,069 --> 01:22:06,426 There you go, Derek. These are my... uncle's clothes. 1141 01:22:06,589 --> 01:22:09,581 He's about the same size as you. 1142 01:22:09,749 --> 01:22:13,822 Yes, well, thanks! Very nice! Rico, I don't want to be a pain, 1143 01:22:13,989 --> 01:22:16,344 but Rodney's got nothing to wear. 1144 01:22:16,509 --> 01:22:19,626 No problem. A guy who works here is Rodney's build. 1145 01:22:19,789 --> 01:22:21,666 He'll lend you some clothes. 1146 01:22:21,829 --> 01:22:24,297 (RICO) Lurch! 1147 01:22:24,469 --> 01:22:28,257 - Lurch? Saucy bark! - Don't be so ungrateful! 1148 01:22:28,429 --> 01:22:31,102 Tell Gino to bring up some of his clothes. 1149 01:22:31,269 --> 01:22:33,737 Piece of cake, Rod! 1150 01:22:33,909 --> 01:22:36,423 By the way, the old dog's knackered. 1151 01:22:37,589 --> 01:22:39,784 - What? - The phone's not working. 1152 01:22:39,949 --> 01:22:43,942 Oh, the telephone. A couple of days ago, we had a tropical storm. 1153 01:22:44,109 --> 01:22:48,261 The whole area's out. Don't worry, it will be back soon. 1154 01:22:48,429 --> 01:22:53,025 Get some sleep, because tomorrow we go to my favourite restaurant. 1155 01:22:53,189 --> 01:22:55,339 - A day on the town! - Lovely jubbly! 1156 01:22:56,509 --> 01:23:00,741 It's a nice little Italian joint. The food is out of this world. 1157 01:23:00,909 --> 01:23:04,060 Believe me, Del, this place will kill you! 1158 01:23:08,029 --> 01:23:10,827 By the way, wear this suit and the chains. 1159 01:23:10,989 --> 01:23:13,662 It will make you look real business-like. 1160 01:23:13,829 --> 01:23:15,820 Ooh! Yes! 1161 01:23:15,989 --> 01:23:18,423 Of course, this is very me, this, Rico. 1162 01:23:18,589 --> 01:23:23,219 Of course, back home in England, I'm a yuppy, ain't I, Rodney? 1163 01:23:23,389 --> 01:23:24,902 Yeah. 1164 01:23:25,069 --> 01:23:28,141 That's cool. Well, nighty-night. 1165 01:23:28,309 --> 01:23:30,869 (DEL) Nighty-night. (ROD) Night. 1166 01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:37,621 He is such a nice bloke! They broke the mould when they made him! 1167 01:23:37,789 --> 01:23:39,780 Yeah... 1168 01:23:39,949 --> 01:23:44,022 Look, Del, don't think I'm getting paranoid or nothing, 1169 01:23:44,189 --> 01:23:48,979 but did you notice them really tough couple of blokes by the gate? 1170 01:23:49,149 --> 01:23:50,980 Yeah. 1171 01:23:51,149 --> 01:23:55,586 - There was one downstairs an' all. - Yeah. So what? 1172 01:23:55,749 --> 01:23:59,537 Well, it's most probably ridiculous... 1173 01:24:00,709 --> 01:24:03,428 You don't think that Rico might be...? 1174 01:24:03,589 --> 01:24:05,898 What? 1175 01:24:06,069 --> 01:24:09,903 - A noofter. - A noofter? Him?! No! 1176 01:24:10,069 --> 01:24:13,823 He's Italian, ain't he? You can't have an Italian noofter. 1177 01:24:13,989 --> 01:24:16,298 It's a well-known medical fact! 1178 01:24:16,469 --> 01:24:18,699 But they're all blokes! 1179 01:24:18,869 --> 01:24:23,420 That's because he's a man's man, ain't he? 1180 01:24:23,589 --> 01:24:25,978 I'll tell you what else he is, Rodney. 1181 01:24:26,149 --> 01:24:31,064 He's a little gold nugget! Yeah, that's what he is, Rodney! 1182 01:24:32,869 --> 01:24:34,700 A little gold nugget! 1183 01:24:46,509 --> 01:24:50,343 In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 1184 01:24:50,509 --> 01:24:52,500 - bless you... - Reverend? 1185 01:24:52,669 --> 01:24:54,864 Amen. 1186 01:24:55,029 --> 01:25:00,342 Raquel, I'm glad I met you. I was going to phone Derek as soon as the lorry had gone. 1187 01:25:00,509 --> 01:25:04,741 - Del? Del's in Miami. - Miami? Oh, dear. 1188 01:25:04,909 --> 01:25:09,699 Excuse me for asking, but why are you blessing a Romanian lorry? 1189 01:25:09,869 --> 01:25:12,702 I'm blessing the contents. Didn't Derek tell you? 1190 01:25:12,869 --> 01:25:16,100 No... Has this got something to do with Derek? 1191 01:25:16,269 --> 01:25:18,578 Yes, he did a time and motion study 1192 01:25:18,749 --> 01:25:23,106 of the blessing of the wine and had the idea of doing it en masse. 1193 01:25:23,269 --> 01:25:26,705 Then I distribute it to churches throughout England. 1194 01:25:26,869 --> 01:25:29,303 Oh, hell! 1195 01:25:29,469 --> 01:25:31,983 - Sorry! - It's been a real money saver, 1196 01:25:32,149 --> 01:25:34,743 especially as Del sells it to us so cheap. 1197 01:25:34,909 --> 01:25:36,979 There's just one major problem. 1198 01:25:37,149 --> 01:25:39,868 It's turned out to be Romanian Riesling. 1199 01:25:40,029 --> 01:25:42,224 Romanian Riesling? 1200 01:25:42,389 --> 01:25:45,381 Yes. White wine. The communion wine is red. 1201 01:25:45,549 --> 01:25:48,746 - It represents... ...the blood of Christ. 1202 01:25:48,909 --> 01:25:52,538 Exactly! Churches are returning their cases daily! 1203 01:25:52,709 --> 01:25:58,386 You may be getting a call from the Archbishop of Canterbury's office. 1204 01:25:58,549 --> 01:26:01,302 - Oh, God! - That's what I keep saying! 1205 01:26:05,069 --> 01:26:07,583 We got some action. Give me that camera. 1206 01:26:07,749 --> 01:26:10,582 - Is it Occhetti? - No, his son and one of the gorillas. 1207 01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:12,944 Wait a minute... 1208 01:26:27,309 --> 01:26:32,337 What do you reckon, then, Rico? It fits like a dream, don't it? 1209 01:26:33,989 --> 01:26:36,105 Perfect, Del, just perfect. 1210 01:26:36,269 --> 01:26:38,863 There's a bloke over there with a camera. 1211 01:26:39,029 --> 01:26:42,783 Oh, yeah! All right, pal? 1212 01:26:42,949 --> 01:26:44,985 Who's that, then, Rico? 1213 01:26:45,149 --> 01:26:50,143 Who knows? Tourists, maybe. I'm starved. Let's eat! 1214 01:26:50,309 --> 01:26:52,698 Yeah, and me. Lovely jubbly! 1215 01:26:52,869 --> 01:26:55,781 (MOUTHS) 1216 01:26:57,949 --> 01:27:00,941 - 29-30. - (RADIO) 29-30 Q-S-K. 1217 01:27:01,109 --> 01:27:06,342 Occhetti and the boys have stopped for lunch at Carlotti's restaurant. 1218 01:27:06,509 --> 01:27:09,467 (RADIO) One-three-two-five. Miami Q-S-L. 1219 01:27:17,869 --> 01:27:19,860 Don Occhetti. 1220 01:27:21,029 --> 01:27:24,305 - Doner-ketti to you, too! - Doner-ketti! 1221 01:27:24,469 --> 01:27:28,747 I am so happy you have honoured me with your presence here today. 1222 01:27:28,909 --> 01:27:32,299 On behalf of my family and myself, I thank you deeply! 1223 01:27:32,469 --> 01:27:35,347 That's all right. Puskas, puskas! 1224 01:27:36,509 --> 01:27:40,548 I will prepare for you a table. Would you like a drink at the bar? 1225 01:27:40,709 --> 01:27:44,861 Yes, thank you very much, signor. I've got a diabolical thirst! 1226 01:27:45,029 --> 01:27:47,099 Excuse me. 1227 01:28:00,989 --> 01:28:03,901 Is everything to your satisfaction, signore? 1228 01:28:04,069 --> 01:28:06,105 Lovely! Blinding dumplings! 1229 01:28:07,949 --> 01:28:10,144 Signore? 1230 01:28:11,589 --> 01:28:14,308 Yeah, it's a lovely-looking cork, innit? 1231 01:28:14,469 --> 01:28:16,744 You're supposed to test the bouquet. 1232 01:28:21,229 --> 01:28:24,904 Oh! Thank you. 1233 01:28:30,469 --> 01:28:33,108 Oh, yes! Lovely jubbly! 1234 01:28:33,269 --> 01:28:37,103 - Pour on, Macduff! - Grazie, signore. 1235 01:28:53,109 --> 01:28:56,988 - Excuse me, Del, I gotta go to the john. - Oh, right. 1236 01:28:57,149 --> 01:28:59,822 Do one for me, son, will ya? 1237 01:28:59,989 --> 01:29:03,106 I've got to go check the plumbing as well. 1238 01:29:03,269 --> 01:29:05,464 I've gotta go, too. 1239 01:29:06,549 --> 01:29:08,779 And me. 1240 01:29:10,149 --> 01:29:11,707 Hope it ain't catching! 1241 01:29:11,869 --> 01:29:15,657 Must have been them enchilados they had last night! 1242 01:29:17,309 --> 01:29:20,460 - Cheers, bruv! - Cheers, Del. 1243 01:29:26,509 --> 01:29:29,342 Any time now. 1244 01:29:36,589 --> 01:29:40,104 - How ya doing? - Fine, thank you. Fine. 1245 01:29:47,069 --> 01:29:51,426 - We're just talking. - Sorry to interrupt. 1246 01:29:51,589 --> 01:29:53,784 Oh, you're not interrupting. 1247 01:29:53,949 --> 01:29:57,180 Well, hurry up! Just do it! 1248 01:30:04,869 --> 01:30:08,748 Don't pick it up with your spoon! Use a fork! 1249 01:30:08,909 --> 01:30:10,900 Don't be stupid, Rodney! 1250 01:30:11,069 --> 01:30:13,458 It would roll off a fork, wouldn't it? 1251 01:30:13,629 --> 01:30:16,826 As I was saying, I've always had this gift. 1252 01:30:16,989 --> 01:30:20,186 Wherever I go in the world, people always take to me! 1253 01:30:20,349 --> 01:30:22,544 You ain't been nowhere! 1254 01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:25,428 Fair enough, I ain't been nowhere, 1255 01:30:25,589 --> 01:30:28,899 but wherever I have been, people have taken to me. 1256 01:30:37,709 --> 01:30:41,861 I mean, take this holiday. All right, the first night we arrived, 1257 01:30:42,029 --> 01:30:44,463 we was ripped off, we lost everything, 1258 01:30:44,629 --> 01:30:47,621 but then I bumped into young Rico and he took to me. 1259 01:30:49,269 --> 01:30:53,899 I don't know what it is. People always like me and I don't know why! 1260 01:30:54,069 --> 01:30:56,981 It's got me bewildered an' all (!) 1261 01:30:57,149 --> 01:30:58,707 Rodney! 1262 01:30:59,309 --> 01:31:00,742 (THUD!) 1263 01:31:01,989 --> 01:31:05,504 I was saving this dumpling till last an' all! 1264 01:31:05,669 --> 01:31:08,388 Blimey! I don't know! 1265 01:31:08,549 --> 01:31:11,905 What's the matter? It hardly touched the ground! 1266 01:31:12,069 --> 01:31:14,060 Anyway, the floor was clean! 1267 01:31:14,229 --> 01:31:16,663 Honestly! You and your hygiene! 1268 01:31:17,829 --> 01:31:20,548 - Del Boy... - What? 1269 01:31:20,709 --> 01:31:22,461 Somebody just shot you. 1270 01:31:22,629 --> 01:31:26,417 Shot me? Don't worry, Rodders, I'm feeling much better now. 1271 01:31:26,589 --> 01:31:29,183 - Del, look! - What's wrong with you? 1272 01:31:29,349 --> 01:31:31,909 (GLASS SMASHES, WOMAN SCREAMS) 1273 01:31:32,909 --> 01:31:34,422 Bingo! 1274 01:31:34,589 --> 01:31:37,661 Gee, I hope that wasn't my dessert! 1275 01:31:37,829 --> 01:31:40,901 How can you joke at a time like this? 1276 01:31:41,069 --> 01:31:42,946 His father's just been shot! 1277 01:31:45,309 --> 01:31:47,618 Shut up, Lurch. 1278 01:31:47,789 --> 01:31:52,226 Oh, my God! Somebody call an ambulance! Is he dead? 1279 01:31:52,389 --> 01:31:55,062 No, but it was bloody close, Rico! 1280 01:31:55,229 --> 01:31:58,301 A bullet come out of nowhere! 1281 01:32:00,309 --> 01:32:03,619 If he knew how to use a knife and fork, he'd be a goner! 1282 01:32:03,789 --> 01:32:08,499 That's true. Absolutely! I was just sitting there, eating me dumplings, 1283 01:32:08,669 --> 01:32:11,342 and then a bullet hits the back of me chair! 1284 01:32:11,509 --> 01:32:14,467 - You don't need it, son! - No... 1285 01:32:14,629 --> 01:32:18,508 ...you certainly do not! 1286 01:32:19,789 --> 01:32:22,906 (PHONE RINGS) 1287 01:32:23,069 --> 01:32:24,866 - Shall I get it? - Please. 1288 01:32:25,029 --> 01:32:29,147 If it's anyone from the Church of England, tell them I'm out. 1289 01:32:29,309 --> 01:32:31,948 Trotters Independent Traders, plc. 1290 01:32:32,109 --> 01:32:35,658 Yeah, it's me! Where are ya? 1291 01:32:35,829 --> 01:32:37,945 - Is it Del? - No. Cassandra. 1292 01:32:38,109 --> 01:32:40,020 I'm at my hotel in Eastbourne. 1293 01:32:40,189 --> 01:32:43,340 - Have you heard from them yet? - No, not yet, love. 1294 01:32:43,509 --> 01:32:47,297 I'm so worried! We don't even know where they're staying. 1295 01:32:47,469 --> 01:32:52,179 Yes, we do. Raquel phoned the travel agent. They hired a camper. 1296 01:32:52,349 --> 01:32:55,022 A camper? They could be anywhere! 1297 01:32:55,189 --> 01:32:58,977 - No, they found the camper. - Thank God! Where? 1298 01:32:59,149 --> 01:33:02,266 It was abandoned in a car park. Everything was gone - 1299 01:33:02,429 --> 01:33:05,148 luggage, passports, money, everything. 1300 01:33:05,309 --> 01:33:08,346 - Oh, God! - Give me the phone! 1301 01:33:08,509 --> 01:33:12,741 You'll worry her to death, you morbid old goat! Hello, it's me. 1302 01:33:12,909 --> 01:33:16,948 - Do you think Rodney's been hurt? - Of course not! Del's with him. 1303 01:33:17,109 --> 01:33:22,137 You don't think he's been arrested, do you? Oh, no! Del's with him! 1304 01:33:22,309 --> 01:33:25,506 There's bound to be a reason for Rodney not calling. 1305 01:33:25,669 --> 01:33:27,705 - Like what? - Well... 1306 01:33:29,549 --> 01:33:31,028 ...Del's with him! 1307 01:33:42,389 --> 01:33:44,903 Here you are, chaps! 1308 01:33:45,069 --> 01:33:47,299 - Well done! Is this mine? - Yeah. 1309 01:33:47,469 --> 01:33:51,382 The bloke who owns the bar says he offers his deepest respect 1310 01:33:51,549 --> 01:33:53,858 and his loyalty is beyond question. 1311 01:33:54,029 --> 01:33:56,668 - That's very nice! Have I met him? - No. 1312 01:33:56,829 --> 01:34:02,222 People keep offering me their deepest respect and kissing me hand! 1313 01:34:02,389 --> 01:34:06,143 They're nice people, Del - hospitable, salt of the earth. 1314 01:34:07,389 --> 01:34:09,744 They certainly seem that way, Rico. 1315 01:34:09,909 --> 01:34:14,699 Derek, you ever had a go on one of those? 1316 01:34:17,669 --> 01:34:20,945 - Have I had a go on one of those? - 'Course you ain't! 1317 01:34:21,109 --> 01:34:25,261 Would you like to try? It's no sweat. I know the owner. 1318 01:34:25,429 --> 01:34:30,423 What, me have a go on one of those things? No, way, Pedro! 1319 01:34:30,589 --> 01:34:32,181 Come on, Del. 1320 01:34:32,349 --> 01:34:35,898 There's a first time for everything! "No way, Pedro"? 1321 01:34:36,069 --> 01:34:39,220 You won't catch me on one of them things! 1322 01:34:39,389 --> 01:34:44,941 And I was always led to believe that you Brits were a seafaring race (!) 1323 01:34:50,749 --> 01:34:55,379 We are! We gave you the world's greatest sailors, pal! 1324 01:34:55,549 --> 01:34:59,622 We gave you Nelson, we gave you Drake, we gave you Columbus. 1325 01:34:59,789 --> 01:35:01,745 (RICO LAUGHS) 1326 01:35:01,909 --> 01:35:05,424 But you're afraid of a few itsy-bitsy waves? 1327 01:35:05,589 --> 01:35:07,147 (LAUGHTER) 1328 01:35:07,309 --> 01:35:09,777 No, I'm not afraid, Rico. 1329 01:35:09,949 --> 01:35:11,860 I've got no reason to be afraid, 1330 01:35:12,029 --> 01:35:16,227 because I've got a 100-yards swimming certificate back at home. 1331 01:35:16,389 --> 01:35:19,062 - Ain't I, Rodders? - Yeah, he has. 1332 01:35:21,429 --> 01:35:23,579 All right, let's have a go. 1333 01:35:27,309 --> 01:35:30,699 - Are you sure about this? - He who dares, Rodney! 1334 01:35:30,869 --> 01:35:34,862 We don't want them thinking that us Brits are chicken, do we? 1335 01:35:35,029 --> 01:35:37,338 We certainly do not! 1336 01:35:42,789 --> 01:35:45,383 This one looks all right, don't it? 1337 01:35:45,549 --> 01:35:47,267 No, Del, this is the one. 1338 01:35:48,429 --> 01:35:51,148 Yeah, of course. That one is better. 1339 01:35:58,269 --> 01:36:02,660 Don't be shy. Straddle your weight evenly. This is your start button. 1340 01:36:02,829 --> 01:36:06,424 This is the throttle. Just remember, the faster you go, 1341 01:36:06,589 --> 01:36:09,467 the easier it is to stay up. Way to go, fella! 1342 01:36:09,629 --> 01:36:11,142 Yeah, cushty! 1343 01:36:12,309 --> 01:36:13,788 Here we go! 1344 01:36:20,669 --> 01:36:23,229 Look at that baby go! 1345 01:36:23,389 --> 01:36:26,745 Lovely, yes! Lovely jubbly! 1346 01:36:26,909 --> 01:36:29,343 I think that's far enough now! 1347 01:36:29,509 --> 01:36:32,387 - Did he say something? - I didn't hear a thing. 1348 01:36:33,309 --> 01:36:36,346 Rico! The steering wheel's stuck! 1349 01:36:38,029 --> 01:36:40,304 The steering wheel is stuck! 1350 01:36:44,869 --> 01:36:49,784 Now the throttle's stuck! Rico! I've got an iffy throttle! 1351 01:36:49,949 --> 01:36:52,338 He's going a long way out! 1352 01:36:52,509 --> 01:36:55,785 - Yeah, but he's enjoying himself. - I know. 1353 01:36:55,949 --> 01:36:59,100 I'm just saying he's going a long way out. 1354 01:36:59,269 --> 01:37:04,138 Where are the brakes on this bloody thing?! Gordon Bennett! 1355 01:37:04,309 --> 01:37:06,300 What a guy, huh? 1356 01:37:06,469 --> 01:37:09,745 - Yeah, he's certainly surprised me. - Why's that? 1357 01:37:09,909 --> 01:37:13,060 Well, he can't even swim! 1358 01:37:13,229 --> 01:37:16,027 He said he had a certificate for swimming! 1359 01:37:16,189 --> 01:37:19,465 He has, but it ain't his. 1360 01:37:21,029 --> 01:37:22,781 Help! 1361 01:37:22,949 --> 01:37:24,940 Help! 1362 01:37:25,709 --> 01:37:31,420 (PILOT) We've begun our descent into Miami, 25 miles off the coast of Florida. 1363 01:37:31,589 --> 01:37:35,707 We'll soon be in Miami. Let's hope it's better than Washington! 1364 01:37:35,869 --> 01:37:37,427 I liked Washington. 1365 01:37:37,589 --> 01:37:40,387 Not much of a beach though, was there? 1366 01:37:40,549 --> 01:37:43,382 We've been all down the east coast of America 1367 01:37:43,549 --> 01:37:47,940 - and you've done nothing but moan! - I didn't moan in Atlantic City. 1368 01:37:48,109 --> 01:37:51,101 You was too busy gambling in the casinos! 1369 01:37:55,709 --> 01:37:58,781 - That's funny! - What is? 1370 01:37:58,949 --> 01:38:01,463 There's a bloke on one of them ski-jets. 1371 01:38:01,629 --> 01:38:04,587 - So what? - We're 25 miles off the coast! 1372 01:38:04,749 --> 01:38:06,819 He must know what he's doing. 1373 01:38:22,429 --> 01:38:27,139 (RICO) I'm calling to say that our meeting can go ahead as scheduled. 1374 01:38:27,309 --> 01:38:30,585 Right, I forgot. You don't speak English. 1375 01:38:30,749 --> 01:38:35,584 Your... meeting... with... my... father can... go... ahead... 1376 01:38:35,749 --> 01:38:38,024 ...as planned. 1377 01:38:38,189 --> 01:38:40,180 Planned. 1378 01:38:40,349 --> 01:38:44,308 Si... Gracias. I look forward to meeting you. 1379 01:38:44,469 --> 01:38:46,460 Lovely jubbly! 1380 01:38:49,429 --> 01:38:51,420 "Lovely jubbly!" 1381 01:38:57,829 --> 01:39:00,707 Hi. How are you doing? 1382 01:39:00,869 --> 01:39:05,226 Fine. I just thought that might be news of Del. 1383 01:39:06,789 --> 01:39:10,338 No. I'll let you know if I hear anything. 1384 01:39:13,509 --> 01:39:15,500 You're not worried, are you? 1385 01:39:15,669 --> 01:39:19,344 No! It's just that he left the beach at 11.00 this morning 1386 01:39:19,509 --> 01:39:21,500 and it's now 8.30 at night. 1387 01:39:21,669 --> 01:39:24,388 Your brother's one hell of a fun guy! 1388 01:39:24,549 --> 01:39:27,985 But can you have fun on a jet-ski for nine and a half hours? 1389 01:39:28,149 --> 01:39:33,428 Del can! I bet he's in a nightclub in Key West with some senorita. 1390 01:39:34,509 --> 01:39:36,500 He's wearing swimming trunks. 1391 01:39:36,669 --> 01:39:40,628 - They all do on Key West! - Oh, it's like that, is it? 1392 01:39:41,789 --> 01:39:44,019 I see the phones are working again. 1393 01:39:44,189 --> 01:39:46,657 - No. - I thought I saw you... 1394 01:39:46,829 --> 01:39:50,947 - It's a private line for business. - Oh, I see. 1395 01:39:51,109 --> 01:39:55,182 How come that one's working when all the others in the area are out? 1396 01:39:56,189 --> 01:39:57,702 Search me. 1397 01:39:57,869 --> 01:40:00,429 Could I use that phone for a minute? 1398 01:40:00,589 --> 01:40:03,865 No. I'm expecting a very important business call. 1399 01:40:04,029 --> 01:40:06,145 Right. I just wanted to phone home 1400 01:40:06,309 --> 01:40:09,619 and tell 'em where we were in case they was worried. 1401 01:40:09,789 --> 01:40:12,781 They don't need to worry, Rod. You're with us. 1402 01:40:16,629 --> 01:40:19,097 Yeah, I suppose you're right. 1403 01:40:19,269 --> 01:40:23,308 Well, I'll be in me room. If you hear anything... 1404 01:40:23,469 --> 01:40:26,779 You'll be the first to know. Goodnight. 1405 01:40:36,709 --> 01:40:39,701 Lurch is bringing the car round the front. 1406 01:40:39,869 --> 01:40:42,941 The tall one's starting to ask questions. 1407 01:40:43,109 --> 01:40:49,059 Looks like tomorrow we take him for a drive and put him out of his misery. 1408 01:40:49,229 --> 01:40:51,868 One down, one to go! 1409 01:40:52,029 --> 01:40:54,259 (DOORBELL CHIMES) 1410 01:41:01,549 --> 01:41:03,540 Good evening, sir. 1411 01:41:03,709 --> 01:41:06,303 Officer, is there any news of my father? 1412 01:41:06,469 --> 01:41:09,427 Yes, sir, and I'm afraid it's bad news. 1413 01:41:10,869 --> 01:41:13,463 Oh, God! Good God, no! 1414 01:41:13,629 --> 01:41:15,779 We fished him out three hours ago. 1415 01:41:15,949 --> 01:41:17,587 He's dead? 1416 01:41:17,749 --> 01:41:19,785 No, he's alive and well. 1417 01:41:21,109 --> 01:41:24,021 - What? - That's what I mean by bad news. 1418 01:41:24,189 --> 01:41:26,498 See, we know what the plan was, Rico. 1419 01:41:26,669 --> 01:41:30,628 Daddy doesn't cherish spending the rest of his life in the pen, 1420 01:41:30,789 --> 01:41:35,544 so he takes a jet-ski to a friendly yacht and sails off into the sunset. 1421 01:41:35,709 --> 01:41:38,269 It couldn't work, Rico, for two reasons. 1422 01:41:38,429 --> 01:41:40,738 One - we're watching his every move. 1423 01:41:40,909 --> 01:41:44,379 We saw him leave, then the coastguard had him on radar. 1424 01:41:44,549 --> 01:41:47,347 Two - he ran out of gas 35 miles off Cuba. 1425 01:41:55,109 --> 01:41:58,021 Am I glad to be back, Rico! 1426 01:41:58,189 --> 01:42:00,578 It was horrible out there! 1427 01:42:00,749 --> 01:42:05,220 I thought I was a goner! I don't know what would have happened to me 1428 01:42:05,389 --> 01:42:08,187 if that police helicopter hadn't found me! 1429 01:42:08,349 --> 01:42:12,900 Why don't you go in the kitchen and get yourself something to eat? 1430 01:42:13,069 --> 01:42:15,060 Thanks. 1431 01:42:15,229 --> 01:42:18,187 I could murder a pina colada! 1432 01:42:19,429 --> 01:42:23,422 Something's happened to his voice - he sounds Australian. 1433 01:42:23,589 --> 01:42:26,899 We think it might be salt on the vocal chords. 1434 01:42:27,069 --> 01:42:32,223 Oh, rest assured, officer, I got something for his throat! Goodnight! 1435 01:42:36,909 --> 01:42:41,937 You limey turkey! What have I got to do to get rid of you? 1436 01:42:44,029 --> 01:42:45,508 How much do I owe you? 1437 01:42:45,669 --> 01:42:48,661 They're with Mickey Pearce on the last round. 1438 01:42:48,829 --> 01:42:50,820 - You're joking! - No, I'm not! 1439 01:42:54,509 --> 01:42:58,502 - You're worrying about nothing! - They've been gone five days 1440 01:42:58,669 --> 01:43:02,708 and we haven't heard from them, and you call that "nothing"? 1441 01:43:02,869 --> 01:43:05,702 I bet there's a simple explanation for it. 1442 01:43:05,869 --> 01:43:09,828 Maybe Dave's gone down to Brazil to have a look at the forest. 1443 01:43:09,989 --> 01:43:12,298 You can't get more simple than that! 1444 01:43:14,029 --> 01:43:17,499 I mean, just look at that telly, Sid. It's all bad news. 1445 01:43:17,669 --> 01:43:19,978 You're right. Nothing but bad news. 1446 01:43:20,149 --> 01:43:24,381 - It's all tragedies and disasters. - Yeah, it's all gloom and doom. 1447 01:43:24,549 --> 01:43:28,508 I shouldn't have it on during happy hour really. 1448 01:43:28,669 --> 01:43:31,058 Funny about Del and Rodney, innit? 1449 01:43:31,229 --> 01:43:34,141 - They'll turn up sooner or later. - Yeah. 1450 01:43:34,309 --> 01:43:39,303 I just hope the police catch whoever did it. I must be off. Cheers, Mike. 1451 01:43:39,469 --> 01:43:41,664 Cheers, mate. Stay lucky! 1452 01:43:42,989 --> 01:43:46,823 - Have you heard from Cassandra? - Yes, she's as worried as you are. 1453 01:43:46,989 --> 01:43:50,345 There's nothing to worry about! A few years back, 1454 01:43:50,509 --> 01:43:54,422 my brother went to Portugal and didn't contact us for three months. 1455 01:43:54,589 --> 01:43:58,104 His wife rang Interpol, my mum was going mad, 1456 01:43:58,269 --> 01:44:01,579 - but he turned up safe and sound. - Where had he been? 1457 01:44:01,749 --> 01:44:05,025 Shacked up with some German tart. 1458 01:44:05,189 --> 01:44:09,262 - Shut up, there's a good boy! - All right, so he was out of order, 1459 01:44:09,429 --> 01:44:11,624 but at least he weren't injured! 1460 01:44:11,789 --> 01:44:16,305 Which is more than people will say about you if you don't shut it! 1461 01:44:16,469 --> 01:44:18,778 I've known Del a lot longer than you, 1462 01:44:18,949 --> 01:44:23,147 and he can be a bit forgetful, especially if he's enjoying himself. 1463 01:44:23,309 --> 01:44:26,107 He's probably having the time of his life... 1464 01:44:26,269 --> 01:44:28,658 I'm not saying the right things, am I? 1465 01:44:28,829 --> 01:44:33,027 - No, you're not. - Mickey's more comforting than you! 1466 01:44:34,189 --> 01:44:37,420 Here, Raquel! Look! 1467 01:44:37,589 --> 01:44:39,705 Hang on. I'll turn the sound up. 1468 01:44:39,869 --> 01:44:44,147 (TV) The Miami DA's office call this man "Public Enemy Number One". 1469 01:44:44,309 --> 01:44:47,779 His web of vice and corruption has spread across America, 1470 01:44:47,949 --> 01:44:51,988 and he's said to be the most dangerous criminal since Al Capone. 1471 01:44:54,269 --> 01:44:56,499 There's Del and Dave! 1472 01:44:56,669 --> 01:44:59,103 "Public enemy number one"? 1473 01:44:59,269 --> 01:45:01,624 But he only left Tuesday! 1474 01:45:06,629 --> 01:45:11,145 - What's happening? - The Colombians have landed. 1475 01:45:11,309 --> 01:45:13,106 They'll be here any minute. 1476 01:45:13,269 --> 01:45:17,467 I want everyone down here to greet 'em. We need a show of strength - 1477 01:45:17,629 --> 01:45:21,019 let 'em know they're not dealing with the Boy Scouts! 1478 01:45:21,189 --> 01:45:23,578 - No problem. - Hey... 1479 01:45:23,749 --> 01:45:25,740 Where are the limeys? 1480 01:45:25,909 --> 01:45:30,027 Don't worry, I've taken care of them. They're busy. 1481 01:45:37,189 --> 01:45:40,022 Whack it back to me, for Gawd's sake! 1482 01:45:40,189 --> 01:45:43,386 I'm trying to whack it back! I'm no good at tennis! 1483 01:45:43,549 --> 01:45:45,028 No, really (?) 1484 01:45:46,629 --> 01:45:50,304 Anyway, what's the score? I'm six sets up, aren't I? 1485 01:45:50,469 --> 01:45:55,020 No, you are not! You're about two games up and it's my serve. 1486 01:45:55,189 --> 01:45:59,068 - No, it's my serve. - You served during the last game! 1487 01:45:59,229 --> 01:46:01,982 I know, and I won, so it's my serve again. 1488 01:46:02,149 --> 01:46:06,939 No, it don't... Oh, I've had enough of this! 1489 01:46:07,109 --> 01:46:09,464 I'm going in! 1490 01:46:09,629 --> 01:46:12,746 Oh, just 'cause you're losing! 1491 01:46:14,789 --> 01:46:18,623 (GROANS WITH EFFORT) 1492 01:46:20,229 --> 01:46:22,697 You there, Rico? 1493 01:46:22,869 --> 01:46:24,860 Lurch? 1494 01:46:26,269 --> 01:46:29,181 Tony? Is anybody about? 1495 01:46:40,669 --> 01:46:42,660 (BURPS) 1496 01:47:00,469 --> 01:47:04,018 Mrs Trotter! Mrs Trotter! 1497 01:47:10,189 --> 01:47:13,579 - Cass? It's me, Rodney. - Where are you? 1498 01:47:13,749 --> 01:47:19,540 - Are you all right? - Steady on! Listen, we're both fine, right? 1499 01:47:19,709 --> 01:47:23,258 Come on, one of you jerks! Hurry up and answer the phone! 1500 01:47:24,309 --> 01:47:29,781 (INTERCOM BUZZES) 1501 01:47:31,149 --> 01:47:34,186 Hello? Battersea Dog's Home. 1502 01:47:34,349 --> 01:47:37,261 Woof! Ow-woo! 1503 01:47:43,709 --> 01:47:45,700 I've been so worried about you! 1504 01:47:46,709 --> 01:47:48,745 - Have ya? - Yes! 1505 01:47:48,909 --> 01:47:52,538 They let me off the interview on compassionate grounds. 1506 01:47:52,709 --> 01:47:54,665 So you could have come with me! 1507 01:47:54,829 --> 01:47:57,423 Not without the help of a fortune teller. 1508 01:47:57,589 --> 01:48:01,582 - I didn't know you'd go missing! - I suppose not. 1509 01:48:05,509 --> 01:48:09,582 Rodney, where are you? 1510 01:48:11,869 --> 01:48:14,508 You're not in our room! 1511 01:48:14,669 --> 01:48:18,867 I wish you could have come. They're such nice people. 1512 01:48:19,029 --> 01:48:21,304 Well, if you hadn't booked that week, 1513 01:48:21,469 --> 01:48:25,018 - I would have been with you. - Del booked the tickets. 1514 01:48:25,189 --> 01:48:29,467 Del? No, he couldn't. He knew I was in Eastbourne that week. 1515 01:48:29,629 --> 01:48:33,463 I suppose he thought... What do you mean, he knew? 1516 01:48:33,629 --> 01:48:39,226 I told him about it over lunch, so why did he book that week? 1517 01:48:39,389 --> 01:48:45,021 Isn't it obvious why? So he could get a free bloody holiday! 1518 01:48:50,029 --> 01:48:52,384 Rodney! 1519 01:48:55,429 --> 01:49:00,867 Come on! Come out, come out, wherever you are! 1520 01:49:05,949 --> 01:49:07,940 Rodney! 1521 01:49:10,869 --> 01:49:14,623 (DEL) Are you there, Roddy Woddy? 1522 01:49:23,109 --> 01:49:26,181 Oh, yes, this is very nice! 1523 01:49:27,309 --> 01:49:32,861 This is a bit of me, this is, 'cause I'm a Byzantine sort of bloke! 1524 01:49:38,949 --> 01:49:43,340 (DEL) Where are you hiding, you little scallywag? 1525 01:49:56,829 --> 01:49:58,706 You git! 1526 01:50:00,909 --> 01:50:03,469 You rotten, conniving git! 1527 01:50:04,389 --> 01:50:08,064 You are the most selfish bastard I've ever come across! 1528 01:50:08,229 --> 01:50:11,380 Do you know who I've just been talking to? 1529 01:50:11,549 --> 01:50:15,667 Cassandra! Hah! That's shaken you, ain't it? 1530 01:50:15,829 --> 01:50:20,220 You knew all along she wouldn't be able to make this trip, didn't you? 1531 01:50:20,389 --> 01:50:25,065 You knew she had to go to Eastbourne but you didn't tell me, did you? 1532 01:50:25,229 --> 01:50:30,064 You kept that well quiet so you could come on this bloody holiday! 1533 01:50:30,229 --> 01:50:33,824 And where did you get that stupid tracksuit from? 1534 01:50:33,989 --> 01:50:39,507 I don't want to hear none of your excuses! Do not talk to me, all right? 1535 01:50:41,669 --> 01:50:43,546 Git! 1536 01:50:48,789 --> 01:50:50,586 You ain't sleeping in here! 1537 01:50:50,749 --> 01:50:53,786 Rico will have to find somewhere else for you! 1538 01:50:53,949 --> 01:50:57,578 - What's up with you, soppy? - You know full well! 1539 01:50:57,749 --> 01:51:02,265 You knew Cassandra couldn't come on this trip, because she told you! 1540 01:51:02,429 --> 01:51:05,739 Ah... now you come to mention it, 1541 01:51:05,909 --> 01:51:08,946 - she DID say something. - But you planned it! 1542 01:51:09,109 --> 01:51:14,661 You booked it just so you could come away with me on this holiday! 1543 01:51:14,829 --> 01:51:18,185 Now, listen. Please, calm down a minute, will ya? 1544 01:51:18,349 --> 01:51:22,501 I'll try and explain everything to you. 1545 01:51:24,309 --> 01:51:26,903 See, the thing is that... 1546 01:51:27,069 --> 01:51:30,903 That wine deal of mine has gone right up the pictures! 1547 01:51:32,229 --> 01:51:34,265 I had a phone call from Bucharest. 1548 01:51:34,429 --> 01:51:37,660 The first lorryload they delivered was white wine! 1549 01:51:40,029 --> 01:51:43,817 I just didn't know what to do, and you know me, don't ya? 1550 01:51:43,989 --> 01:51:48,858 There's only two things in the world that worry me, and that is doctors 1551 01:51:49,029 --> 01:51:52,146 and, you know... gods. 1552 01:51:52,309 --> 01:51:55,585 I was frightened of being cursed! 1553 01:51:55,749 --> 01:52:01,540 So I thought, "If I come over here to Miami, He won't find me." 1554 01:52:01,709 --> 01:52:04,223 That's the only reason I did it, honest! 1555 01:52:04,389 --> 01:52:06,857 I wanted to lay low for a spell. 1556 01:52:07,029 --> 01:52:09,384 Yeah, on my pension money! 1557 01:52:09,549 --> 01:52:11,824 Del, you are the most horrible, 1558 01:52:11,989 --> 01:52:14,947 dirty little... How did you get in here? 1559 01:52:15,109 --> 01:52:17,862 What do you mean, how did I get in here? 1560 01:52:18,029 --> 01:52:22,580 - How did you get in this room? - Well, I came through that door, 1561 01:52:22,749 --> 01:52:25,104 it's a blinding invention (!) 1562 01:52:25,269 --> 01:52:29,626 I locked that door and the only... How did you get changed so quickly? 1563 01:52:29,789 --> 01:52:34,021 I haven't got changed! I've been in this all morning! 1564 01:52:34,189 --> 01:52:38,705 I don't understand this. I was just talking to you outside. 1565 01:52:38,869 --> 01:52:44,227 You couldn't have done, 'cause I've been in the khazi en suite! 1566 01:52:44,389 --> 01:52:46,823 I just had a row with you on the landing! 1567 01:52:46,989 --> 01:52:49,708 You were wearing a pink and green tracksuit! 1568 01:52:49,869 --> 01:52:52,337 A pink and green track...? 1569 01:52:59,309 --> 01:53:04,508 Rodney, I want you to tell me the truth. I won't be angry. 1570 01:53:04,669 --> 01:53:08,662 Have you... taken anything? 1571 01:53:08,829 --> 01:53:11,946 Have you smoked one of them Jamaican Woodbines? 1572 01:53:12,109 --> 01:53:15,784 The only thing I've taken is a load of cobblers from you! 1573 01:53:15,949 --> 01:53:19,783 Now, I was talking to you on that landing or... 1574 01:53:19,949 --> 01:53:21,940 Or what? 1575 01:53:23,229 --> 01:53:26,346 Or someone who looks like you. 1576 01:53:26,509 --> 01:53:31,185 Someone who looks like me? You mean like a double? 1577 01:53:31,349 --> 01:53:34,580 - Yeah. - Oh, dear. 1578 01:53:34,749 --> 01:53:38,628 (DEL TUTS) 1579 01:53:40,109 --> 01:53:43,101 You know what this means, don't you? 1580 01:53:43,269 --> 01:53:48,024 It means that you're a bigger plonker than I thought you were! 1581 01:53:49,749 --> 01:53:52,343 Have a look for yourself! He's out there! 1582 01:53:52,509 --> 01:53:55,501 I will if it will shut you up, you little dipstick! 1583 01:53:57,429 --> 01:54:00,307 I don't know what the world is coming to! 1584 01:54:00,469 --> 01:54:03,620 I'm a prisoner in my own home, 1585 01:54:03,789 --> 01:54:08,909 and all because of those goddamn sorry-assed limeys! 1586 01:54:09,069 --> 01:54:10,866 Boo! 1587 01:54:18,309 --> 01:54:22,427 Look, dippy! That's who it was! Your reflection! 1588 01:54:22,589 --> 01:54:25,706 How can I have a row with a bloody reflection? 1589 01:54:25,869 --> 01:54:30,420 I've often had a barney with myself when I've come home from a party! 1590 01:54:30,589 --> 01:54:32,580 (OPERA ON HEADPHONES) 1591 01:54:32,749 --> 01:54:36,458 I'm closing your account, you lime-sucking bozos! 1592 01:54:36,629 --> 01:54:39,507 What do you want to do? Go and check it out? 1593 01:54:39,669 --> 01:54:41,421 I'll keep a look-out. 1594 01:54:43,389 --> 01:54:48,588 So you want to keep a look-out, and you want me check the room, right? 1595 01:54:48,749 --> 01:54:52,503 - Yeah. - Oh, cushty (!) 1596 01:54:53,909 --> 01:54:57,948 Do it yourself, Del! Go on, then! 1597 01:55:06,469 --> 01:55:10,508 I hate limeys! I hate limeys! 1598 01:55:21,789 --> 01:55:25,668 I hate limeys! I hate 'em! I hate 'em! 1599 01:55:37,309 --> 01:55:39,618 (SMASHING GLASS) 1600 01:56:58,549 --> 01:57:03,384 Senor Vasquez, my father has been looking forward to meeting you. 1601 01:57:03,549 --> 01:57:05,107 So it is with me, too. 1602 01:57:07,629 --> 01:57:09,460 Del! Somebody's coming! 1603 01:57:30,229 --> 01:57:32,823 They're trying to kill me! 1604 01:57:32,989 --> 01:57:35,184 Fromage frais! 1605 01:57:35,349 --> 01:57:38,147 (APPROACHING VOICES) 1606 01:57:39,749 --> 01:57:42,707 - (RICO) You had a good flight? - Oh, my Gawd! 1607 01:57:48,309 --> 01:57:51,346 The Colombians are here. This is Senor Vasquez, 1608 01:57:51,509 --> 01:57:56,264 and his associate, Senor Herrera. I'll be next door if you need me. 1609 01:57:58,549 --> 01:58:00,460 Gentlemen. 1610 01:58:00,629 --> 01:58:04,417 Don Occhetti, I am honoured to meet you, sir! 1611 01:58:08,589 --> 01:58:11,786 Forgive me. My English, no good! 1612 01:58:14,349 --> 01:58:16,419 Bonnetti. 1613 01:58:16,589 --> 01:58:18,580 Bonnetti. 1614 01:58:18,749 --> 01:58:20,899 Bonnetti! Bonnetti! 1615 01:58:25,629 --> 01:58:32,421 - We bring the final... formation... - IN-formation! 1616 01:58:32,589 --> 01:58:39,108 ...information concerning our business transaction. 1617 01:58:39,269 --> 01:58:41,544 Business... Cushty! 1618 01:58:43,469 --> 01:58:46,063 You will read, please? 1619 01:58:56,549 --> 01:59:00,781 What...? What is this exactly? 1620 01:59:00,949 --> 01:59:04,385 - It is the firmation... - CON-firmation. 1621 01:59:05,429 --> 01:59:11,026 ...confirmation regarding delivery of merchandise. 1622 01:59:11,189 --> 01:59:15,023 Smashing! Smashing! 1623 01:59:15,189 --> 01:59:18,067 What sort of merchandise, is it, then? 1624 01:59:18,229 --> 01:59:23,303 Senor, it is the finest, the purest, the very best... 1625 01:59:23,469 --> 01:59:25,300 ...cocaine. 1626 01:59:25,469 --> 01:59:28,108 Coc...? Coc...? 1627 01:59:28,269 --> 01:59:31,579 C-C-C-Cocaine? 1628 01:59:31,749 --> 01:59:33,546 17 tonnes. 1629 01:59:33,709 --> 01:59:35,506 (MOUTHS) 1630 01:59:35,669 --> 01:59:38,706 It is on a yacht anchored off shore. 1631 01:59:38,869 --> 01:59:42,578 We wait... We await your instructions. 1632 01:59:42,749 --> 01:59:51,418 Don Occhetti, where delivery of merchandise in the boat? 1633 01:59:51,589 --> 01:59:55,821 - Where? Where? - Boat... delivery, yeah... 1634 01:59:55,989 --> 02:00:01,700 I'll tell you what, why don't you deliver it tonight, midnight in... 1635 02:00:01,869 --> 02:00:04,019 Do you know Biscayne Bay? 1636 02:00:04,189 --> 02:00:07,499 Deliver the merchandise to Biscayne Bay. 1637 02:00:07,669 --> 02:00:10,467 Biscayne... Bay. 1638 02:00:10,629 --> 02:00:13,097 - Bees... gayne... - Cayne. 1639 02:00:13,269 --> 02:00:14,907 Cayne. 1640 02:00:15,069 --> 02:00:18,857 - Cayne... - Bay. 1641 02:00:19,029 --> 02:00:22,863 - Bay. - Bay... Bay. 1642 02:00:23,029 --> 02:00:25,224 Biscayne Bay. 1643 02:00:25,389 --> 02:00:28,347 Is it safe? Safe? 1644 02:00:28,509 --> 02:00:31,262 Yes, the cocaine will be safe all right. 1645 02:00:31,429 --> 02:00:34,262 Someone there to meet us? 1646 02:00:34,429 --> 02:00:39,583 Ooh, don't worry, there'll be someone there to meet you, yeah. 1647 02:00:39,749 --> 02:00:41,580 Good! Good! 1648 02:00:42,749 --> 02:00:47,698 (VASQUEZ) It is good to do business with you. It is very good! 1649 02:00:47,869 --> 02:00:50,986 (RUNNING WATER) 1650 02:00:52,189 --> 02:00:55,147 Room, who...? Who? 1651 02:00:55,309 --> 02:00:56,788 Whom...? Whom? 1652 02:00:56,949 --> 02:01:01,818 - Whom room? - Whom room? Um... 1653 02:01:01,989 --> 02:01:05,186 Whom is in there? 1654 02:01:05,349 --> 02:01:09,900 That is the bathroom... and that's my girlfriend in there! 1655 02:01:10,069 --> 02:01:13,778 - What does he mean? - Don Occhetti's senorita. 1656 02:01:13,949 --> 02:01:17,385 Oh, yes! Hey, senorita! 1657 02:01:17,549 --> 02:01:22,145 (GROWLING BURP FROM BATHROOM) 1658 02:01:22,309 --> 02:01:24,777 Yes, yes... 1659 02:01:24,949 --> 02:01:29,227 The senorita had a double helping of chilli con carne last night. 1660 02:01:29,389 --> 02:01:33,382 I told her not to but you know what they're like! 1661 02:01:33,549 --> 02:01:39,181 Cor, look at the time! I think that concludes our business, gentlemen. 1662 02:01:39,349 --> 02:01:41,909 All right, then... 1663 02:01:42,069 --> 02:01:44,060 Thank you very much. 1664 02:01:44,229 --> 02:01:46,026 - Adios. - A-ge-dos. 1665 02:01:46,189 --> 02:01:49,420 - We will peaking soon. - We will peaking soon. 1666 02:01:49,589 --> 02:01:52,547 Bonnetti! Bonnetti! 1667 02:01:52,709 --> 02:01:56,065 Bonnetti! Bonnetti! 1668 02:02:02,109 --> 02:02:06,580 Didn't you hear me knocking? Rico brought two blokes up to that room! 1669 02:02:11,549 --> 02:02:15,861 Rodney, we are in deep, deep shtook! 1670 02:02:16,029 --> 02:02:20,022 - This is Mafia country! - Mafia? 1671 02:02:20,189 --> 02:02:23,147 Yes! Sh! Come over here. 1672 02:02:23,309 --> 02:02:27,348 - Sit down there. - Just listen to me. 1673 02:02:27,509 --> 02:02:32,981 You know Rico, Salvatore and them other guys? They're all Mafioso! 1674 02:02:33,149 --> 02:02:37,188 Remember you said you thought you saw a bloke what looked like me? 1675 02:02:37,349 --> 02:02:40,625 Well, there IS one! He's got a room down there! 1676 02:02:40,789 --> 02:02:45,101 His name's Don Occhetti and he is the boss. 1677 02:02:45,269 --> 02:02:49,899 I'm telling you, Rodney, this is Marlon Brambo time! 1678 02:02:50,069 --> 02:02:54,347 Yes! I just read a newspaper down there. 1679 02:02:54,509 --> 02:02:57,899 It's all about him! This Don, he's up for trial. 1680 02:02:58,069 --> 02:03:00,299 It looks like he's well in the frame, 1681 02:03:00,469 --> 02:03:03,779 and he's gonna spend the rest of his life in the nick! 1682 02:03:03,949 --> 02:03:08,545 - What for? - Drug-running, kidnapping, 1683 02:03:08,709 --> 02:03:12,099 and three - you count 'em - three murders! 1684 02:03:12,269 --> 02:03:17,662 That is what all this has been about, Rodney, don't you understand? 1685 02:03:17,829 --> 02:03:20,627 They've been trying to kill ME! 1686 02:03:20,789 --> 02:03:25,658 Think about it - that accidental stray bullet that whacked the chair, 1687 02:03:25,829 --> 02:03:31,267 the iffy ski-boat ride, eh? Don't you see? If I go for a burton, 1688 02:03:31,429 --> 02:03:36,025 this Donald-whatever-his-name-is won't stand trial and he goes free! 1689 02:03:36,189 --> 02:03:40,228 Aren't you just letting your imagination run away with you? 1690 02:03:40,389 --> 02:03:44,177 I wish I was, Rodney, I wish I was! Look at that, pal. Go on! 1691 02:03:44,349 --> 02:03:46,340 I've been down there 1692 02:03:46,509 --> 02:03:51,503 and just had a little tete-a-tete with two Colombian drug barons! 1693 02:03:52,829 --> 02:03:55,343 Bloody hell, Del! He's a Mafia boss! 1694 02:03:55,509 --> 02:03:58,945 That's what I've been trying to tell ya. Look at it! 1695 02:03:59,109 --> 02:04:01,987 - Oh, cosmic! - Hmm? 1696 02:04:02,149 --> 02:04:06,506 Cos-bloody-mic! I just roughed him up! 1697 02:04:06,669 --> 02:04:10,218 I have just roughed up a Mafia boss! 1698 02:04:10,389 --> 02:04:12,380 I called him a git! 1699 02:04:12,549 --> 02:04:16,178 - I called a Mafia boss... - Pull yourself together! 1700 02:04:16,349 --> 02:04:17,668 ...a git! 1701 02:04:17,829 --> 02:04:22,141 These are not the sort of people you wanna spend your holidays with! 1702 02:04:22,309 --> 02:04:26,188 Rico can forget that present we was gonna buy him! 1703 02:04:26,349 --> 02:04:28,419 - Let's get outta here! - How? 1704 02:04:28,589 --> 02:04:31,786 - They're all downstairs! - We'll go out the window! 1705 02:04:31,949 --> 02:04:35,703 Quick before I wake up with a bloody horse's head on me pillow! 1706 02:04:39,789 --> 02:04:41,108 You first! 1707 02:04:46,909 --> 02:04:49,298 Go on! 1708 02:05:01,749 --> 02:05:03,387 Look at this! 1709 02:05:18,629 --> 02:05:22,144 - Mucho... very much! - Hasta la vista! 1710 02:05:36,309 --> 02:05:39,745 Yeah. Send Rico up to me. Tell him I want to talk to him. 1711 02:05:58,389 --> 02:06:00,698 There's something sharp up there! 1712 02:06:16,189 --> 02:06:18,180 How the hell did this happen? 1713 02:06:18,349 --> 02:06:21,659 I don't know, Pop. The last time I saw it, it was fine. 1714 02:06:21,829 --> 02:06:23,899 Leave it. I'll get Lurch to do it. 1715 02:06:24,069 --> 02:06:27,584 - OK. - Well, the Colombians seem happy. 1716 02:06:27,749 --> 02:06:32,140 Well, maybe they won't be so happy after we've had our meeting. 1717 02:06:32,309 --> 02:06:34,777 - Show 'em up, Rico. - Show 'em up? 1718 02:06:34,949 --> 02:06:37,179 - They just left! - Left? 1719 02:06:37,349 --> 02:06:40,102 What the hell did they come all this way for 1720 02:06:40,269 --> 02:06:42,737 and then leave without talking to me?! 1721 02:06:42,909 --> 02:06:47,858 But I brought them in and... How did you get changed so quickly? 1722 02:06:48,029 --> 02:06:51,305 I've worn it all morning. I've been working out. 1723 02:06:51,469 --> 02:06:53,937 Oh, God! The limey! 1724 02:07:01,429 --> 02:07:03,863 I'm in court tomorrow morning! 1725 02:07:04,029 --> 02:07:06,224 Rico! 1726 02:07:10,309 --> 02:07:15,429 - Do something, you stupid jerk! - Don't worry, we'll get 'em back. 1727 02:07:33,109 --> 02:07:35,942 Are you enjoying the ride, boys? 1728 02:07:37,109 --> 02:07:39,703 Oh, yes, lovely, Miss Daisy! 1729 02:07:39,869 --> 02:07:43,544 - I don't believe this! - This is supposed to be a getaway! 1730 02:07:43,709 --> 02:07:46,781 At this rate, we'll be done for kerb crawling! 1731 02:07:56,309 --> 02:08:00,666 - This is about as far as I go. - Well, thanks for the lift. 1732 02:08:01,589 --> 02:08:04,342 Have a nice trip back to Australia! 1733 02:08:04,509 --> 02:08:08,388 - We're not Aussies, we're English! - Leave it. She's old! 1734 02:08:33,269 --> 02:08:37,103 - (RICO) Sure it was them? - Who else is running around here 1735 02:08:37,269 --> 02:08:39,908 dressed like Jimmy Connors? 1736 02:08:46,389 --> 02:08:48,778 Raquel, where have you been? 1737 02:08:48,949 --> 02:08:50,940 I've been to Royal Ascot (!) 1738 02:08:51,109 --> 02:08:54,340 - Where do you think I've been? - Cassandra phoned. 1739 02:08:54,509 --> 02:08:58,024 - She's spoken with Rodney. - Well, where are they? 1740 02:08:58,189 --> 02:09:00,578 They're in a millionaire's mansion. 1741 02:09:00,749 --> 02:09:04,742 A tropical storm knocked the phones out so they couldn't call. 1742 02:09:04,909 --> 02:09:08,299 - When are they coming home? - They fly home tomorrow. 1743 02:09:08,469 --> 02:09:10,346 You can stop worrying. 1744 02:09:10,509 --> 02:09:13,387 They're both safe and sound! 1745 02:09:27,709 --> 02:09:30,223 Come on, Rodney! Where's your stamina? 1746 02:09:33,429 --> 02:09:35,624 Bloody hell! 1747 02:09:35,789 --> 02:09:38,701 Help me out of here, Rodney! 1748 02:09:38,869 --> 02:09:40,985 - Come here! - I can't! 1749 02:09:41,149 --> 02:09:42,662 Come on! 1750 02:09:47,589 --> 02:09:51,343 Gordon Bennett! What is that stuff anyway? 1751 02:09:51,509 --> 02:09:55,548 I think it's water hyacinth. I read about it in my Greenpeace magazine. 1752 02:09:55,709 --> 02:09:58,098 Why's it floating on the water? 1753 02:09:58,269 --> 02:10:03,627 That's what it does. It grows on the water. We must be in the Everglades. 1754 02:10:05,229 --> 02:10:08,744 Everglades? It looks more like a swamp to me! 1755 02:10:08,909 --> 02:10:11,059 Well, it is a swa... 1756 02:10:12,909 --> 02:10:14,388 Don't matter. 1757 02:10:17,469 --> 02:10:21,940 Rodney, just get me home, will ya? Back to England's pleasant land 1758 02:10:22,109 --> 02:10:24,748 and those dark, volcanic mills! 1759 02:10:24,909 --> 02:10:27,104 Yeah. 1760 02:10:27,269 --> 02:10:30,625 Look, Del, let's just have a rest, eh? 1761 02:10:30,789 --> 02:10:34,748 We're safe enough. Nobody could find us in here. 1762 02:10:40,549 --> 02:10:44,337 Look at me! Me hands are all bleeding, me clothes are torn, 1763 02:10:44,509 --> 02:10:46,500 me arse is soaking wet! 1764 02:10:46,669 --> 02:10:50,582 - And you're still whining! - Yes! It's all right for you! 1765 02:10:50,749 --> 02:10:53,582 If I get piles, you can have half of 'em! 1766 02:11:18,309 --> 02:11:20,504 Del Boy... 1767 02:11:20,669 --> 02:11:23,820 Shut up, Rodney! You're getting on my nerves! 1768 02:11:23,989 --> 02:11:27,186 I want you to do something for me, Derek. 1769 02:11:27,349 --> 02:11:30,785 I want you to stand up 1770 02:11:30,949 --> 02:11:34,862 and very slowly walk away. 1771 02:11:37,789 --> 02:11:40,019 What is this? "Simple Simon Says"? 1772 02:11:40,189 --> 02:11:43,499 Very slowly walk away, Del. 1773 02:11:43,669 --> 02:11:46,900 We don't want to alarm it. 1774 02:11:48,709 --> 02:11:52,941 - Alarm what? - That thing behind us. 1775 02:11:57,709 --> 02:11:59,586 That thing? 1776 02:12:07,029 --> 02:12:10,101 - That was a crocodile, Rodney! - No, it weren't. 1777 02:12:10,269 --> 02:12:14,421 I can recognise a crocodile. I've seen enough Tarzan films! 1778 02:12:20,469 --> 02:12:23,905 - That was an alligator. - It's the same thing, innit? 1779 02:12:24,069 --> 02:12:29,348 No, they look alike and they're from the same family, but biologically... 1780 02:12:29,509 --> 02:12:31,386 - Do they eat ya? - Yeah. 1781 02:12:31,549 --> 02:12:33,540 It's the same thing, then! 1782 02:12:33,709 --> 02:12:35,825 Who the hell let it out?! 1783 02:12:35,989 --> 02:12:39,265 No, they live here in the Everglades. 1784 02:12:41,029 --> 02:12:44,783 "They"? Do you mean to say there's more than one of 'em? 1785 02:12:44,949 --> 02:12:48,021 Yeah, but don't panic! 1786 02:12:48,189 --> 02:12:52,740 It's very rare to see them during the day. They're a nocturnal animal. 1787 02:12:52,909 --> 02:12:55,901 Are you trying to tell me that come teatime, 1788 02:12:56,069 --> 02:12:58,537 there'll be millions of the gits?! 1789 02:12:59,709 --> 02:13:01,301 Yeah. 1790 02:13:04,629 --> 02:13:07,097 I just don't believe it! 1791 02:13:07,269 --> 02:13:09,737 I've got to be honest with you, Rodney, 1792 02:13:09,909 --> 02:13:14,460 I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't come on this holiday with you! 1793 02:13:14,629 --> 02:13:16,620 Don't you blame me! 1794 02:13:16,789 --> 02:13:19,940 I did not invite you, Derek, you invited yourself! 1795 02:13:20,109 --> 02:13:22,703 (DRONING ENGINE) 1796 02:13:22,869 --> 02:13:24,825 Listen to that! 1797 02:13:29,869 --> 02:13:32,906 (RODNEY) It's a boat! We're saved! 1798 02:13:33,069 --> 02:13:36,061 Get down, Rodney! It could be the Mafia! 1799 02:13:36,229 --> 02:13:38,379 What would they be doing on a boat? 1800 02:13:38,549 --> 02:13:40,938 Water-skiing (!) What do you think? 1801 02:13:46,309 --> 02:13:48,345 Look, Marlene, an eagle! 1802 02:13:48,509 --> 02:13:50,898 That's not an eagle, it's a heron! 1803 02:13:51,069 --> 02:13:53,742 Well, it's a big bird, anyway! 1804 02:13:53,909 --> 02:13:58,903 - Uncle Rodney! - Listen to him! Uncle Rodney (!) 1805 02:13:59,069 --> 02:14:01,583 The imagination these kids have! 1806 02:14:01,749 --> 02:14:05,025 Yes, right. Let's take some photographs. 1807 02:14:15,349 --> 02:14:19,388 Marlene... Just for a moment there, I thought I saw... 1808 02:14:21,589 --> 02:14:23,022 Gordon Bennett! 1809 02:14:24,669 --> 02:14:26,660 It's Del and Rodney! 1810 02:14:26,829 --> 02:14:28,865 Ooh-ooh! Del! 1811 02:14:29,029 --> 02:14:32,260 - Boycie! - Get over here, quick! 1812 02:14:32,429 --> 02:14:34,579 What are YOU doing here? 1813 02:14:34,749 --> 02:14:40,142 I forgot to kiss you goodbye at Gatwick! Get that boat over here! 1814 02:14:40,309 --> 02:14:43,665 Wayne, get over there! 1815 02:14:51,349 --> 02:14:53,146 All right, Del? 1816 02:14:53,309 --> 02:14:55,698 Triffic, sweetheart (!) 1817 02:14:58,389 --> 02:15:02,940 - Come on, Rodders! Let's go! - You smell like a vegetarian's fart! 1818 02:15:03,109 --> 02:15:08,183 - At least I haven't been burgled! - It's a joke! Now, let's get going! 1819 02:15:08,349 --> 02:15:10,226 Right, Wayne. Let's go! 1820 02:15:17,869 --> 02:15:20,941 Rico, please consider your actions carefully 1821 02:15:21,109 --> 02:15:23,828 before you do anything you might regret! 1822 02:15:23,989 --> 02:15:26,423 OK, I'll consider it! 1823 02:15:26,589 --> 02:15:28,386 (DEL) Duck! (BOYCIE) Why? 1824 02:15:28,549 --> 02:15:30,346 - (GUNSHOT) - (DEL) That! 1825 02:15:30,509 --> 02:15:32,101 (BOYCIE) Get a move on! 1826 02:15:40,189 --> 02:15:44,899 Did you hear that, Curtis? Some jerk's out there loosing off lead! 1827 02:15:47,869 --> 02:15:52,340 (BOYCIE) Everything was going well. We were having a lovely holiday, 1828 02:15:52,509 --> 02:15:56,741 then THEY turn up, and within 15 seconds, some sod's shooting at us! 1829 02:15:56,909 --> 02:16:01,141 (MARLENE) You've done nothing but moan since we left Washington! 1830 02:16:01,309 --> 02:16:04,460 (BOYCIE) Get that bloody boat in, for Gawd's sake! 1831 02:16:15,709 --> 02:16:18,223 Rodney, hang about a minute. 1832 02:16:29,709 --> 02:16:32,667 Rodney, let's go home. 1833 02:16:32,829 --> 02:16:36,185 Del, our plane don't leave till tomorrow night. 1834 02:16:36,349 --> 02:16:38,783 I know, but we can sleep at the airport. 1835 02:16:38,949 --> 02:16:42,544 At least we'll be that much closer to dear old England! 1836 02:16:42,709 --> 02:16:45,098 Give us a lift to the airport, Boycie! 1837 02:16:45,269 --> 02:16:48,739 (WOMAN) Last night, coastguards from Biscayne Cove 1838 02:16:48,909 --> 02:16:52,584 boarded a Colombian yacht and found 17 tonnes of cocaine. 1839 02:16:52,749 --> 02:16:57,379 Wanted drug baron Alberto Vasquez was taken to Miami Police Central 1840 02:16:57,549 --> 02:17:01,701 for questioning by FBI agents. The tip-off for the drug bust came 1841 02:17:01,869 --> 02:17:05,464 when delivery details were left in a park ranger's office. 1842 02:17:05,629 --> 02:17:10,225 The big story today - in Miami Superior Court, Don Vincenzo Occhetti, 1843 02:17:10,389 --> 02:17:13,586 head of the most powerful Mafia family in America, 1844 02:17:13,749 --> 02:17:16,502 was found guilty of drug-running, kidnap, 1845 02:17:16,669 --> 02:17:19,820 and three counts of conspiring to commit murder. 1846 02:17:19,989 --> 02:17:22,059 He was given six life sentences. 1847 02:17:22,229 --> 02:17:24,902 Ricardo Occhetti was arrested yesterday 1848 02:17:25,069 --> 02:17:28,459 for illegal hunting in the Everglades National Park. 1849 02:17:28,629 --> 02:17:31,143 Police are looking for two Australians 1850 02:17:31,309 --> 02:17:34,699 who may be able to assist them in this matter. 1851 02:18:03,429 --> 02:18:05,989 Welcome home, boys! 1852 02:18:20,549 --> 02:18:22,540 # Hot town, summer in the city 1853 02:18:22,709 --> 02:18:25,348 # Back of my neck getting dirty, gritty 1854 02:18:25,509 --> 02:18:29,502 # Been down, isn't it a pity Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city 1855 02:18:29,669 --> 02:18:31,660 # All around me, people looking half dead 1856 02:18:31,829 --> 02:18:34,821 # Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head 1857 02:18:34,989 --> 02:18:37,549 # But at night it's a different world 1858 02:18:37,709 --> 02:18:39,779 # Go out and find a girl 1859 02:18:39,949 --> 02:18:44,101 # Come on, come on, we'll dance all night Despite the heat it'll be all right 1860 02:18:44,269 --> 02:18:46,260 # And, babe, don't you know it's a pity 1861 02:18:46,429 --> 02:18:48,704 # The days can't be more like the nights 1862 02:18:48,869 --> 02:18:50,700 # In the summer, in the city 1863 02:18:50,869 --> 02:18:52,587 # In the summer 1864 02:18:52,749 --> 02:18:56,708 # In the city 1865 02:18:56,869 --> 02:18:58,860 # Cool town, evening in the city 1866 02:18:59,029 --> 02:19:01,463 # Dressed so fine and looking so pretty 1867 02:19:01,629 --> 02:19:05,827 # I'm a cool cat looking for a kitty Gonna look in every corner of the city 1868 02:19:05,989 --> 02:19:08,059 # Till I'm wheezing at the bus stop 1869 02:19:08,229 --> 02:19:11,619 # Running up the stairs, I'm gonna meet you on the roof top 1870 02:19:11,789 --> 02:19:13,780 # But at night it's a different world 1871 02:19:13,949 --> 02:19:15,985 # Go out and find a girl 1872 02:19:16,149 --> 02:19:18,140 # Come on, come on, we'll dance all night 1873 02:19:18,309 --> 02:19:20,300 # Despite the heat it'll be all right 1874 02:19:20,469 --> 02:19:22,778 # And, babe, don't you know it's a pity 1875 02:19:22,949 --> 02:19:24,940 # The days can't be like the nights 1876 02:19:25,109 --> 02:19:26,906 # In the summer, in the city 1877 02:19:27,069 --> 02:19:29,060 # In the summer 1878 02:19:29,229 --> 02:19:33,905 # In the city 1879 02:19:42,389 --> 02:19:44,027 # Hot town 1880 02:19:46,829 --> 02:19:48,626 # Hot town... # 1881 02:19:49,626 --> 02:19:59,626 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 147093

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