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1
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:44,188
You alright, son?
Looking forward to tonight down the pub?
2
00:00:44,402 --> 00:00:48,288
Yeah. I don't want a big thing made of it,
you know.
3
00:00:48,459 --> 00:00:51,057
I mean, me and Cassandra
are having a baby, that's all.
4
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,353
Yeah, but you know what Del's like.
Any excuse for a celebration.
5
00:00:55,918 --> 00:00:58,768
You don't think Del'd mind
if I borrowed some of his after-shave, do you?
6
00:00:58,943 --> 00:01:00,436
What do you want to use after-shave for?
7
00:01:00,471 --> 00:01:03,599
You've got Epping bloody Forest
growing round your chops!
8
00:01:05,473 --> 00:01:07,775
I just wanted to smell nice,
that's all.
9
00:01:07,931 --> 00:01:10,504
Well in that case,
don't use Del's after-shave!
10
00:01:12,215 --> 00:01:16,272
Oh, there you are Rodders, I didn't hear you arrive.
Go on, help yourself to a dry roasted.
11
00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:18,083
Where's Cassandra then?
12
00:01:18,118 --> 00:01:20,074
Raquel wanted to show her
something in the bedroom.
13
00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:22,153
It's them baby clothes
she's got for you.
14
00:01:22,188 --> 00:01:23,767
Oh, she shouldn't have done that.
15
00:01:23,802 --> 00:01:26,361
No, it's aright,
they're some of Damien's old clothes.
16
00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:34,135
- Suit your nipper a treat they will.
- Yeah... I'm just gonna get myself a beer.
17
00:01:34,341 --> 00:01:36,687
If it's a boy d'you reckon
it'll look like Rodney?
18
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:39,335
It don't matter as long as
it's healthy.
19
00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:44,833
No, I know what Raquel's doing,
20
00:01:45,014 --> 00:01:47,939
she's showing Cassandra
some of them new clothes I bought her.
21
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:52,573
- New clothes? It's not her birthday, is it?
- No, it's not her birthday.
22
00:01:52,957 --> 00:01:57,210
Well, they're not 'new' clothes,
they're as good as.
23
00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,634
And it means I done me bit for charity.
24
00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:07,833
Ah, Rodders there you are, you seen this?
It�s my book, �Modern Man�. It�s brilliant, it is.
25
00:02:08,093 --> 00:02:13,209
It says here: 'you shouldn't wait for a special occasion
to give your loved one a present.
26
00:02:13,254 --> 00:02:16,430
Arrive home with a little surprise
any day of the week,
27
00:02:16,465 --> 00:02:19,278
and help keep your relationship exciting'.
28
00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:21,203
I done that, you know.
29
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:25,687
It says: 'Your partner should never have
to seek attention from you.
30
00:02:25,722 --> 00:02:29,644
A compliment is the easiest thing
to give and the nicest thing to receive.'
31
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:31,895
It's obvious
when you come to think about it.
32
00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:35,496
I mean, it's far easier to say something nice
than to say something nasty, innit?
33
00:02:36,996 --> 00:02:40,194
- Well?
- Yes, very well, thank you darling!
34
00:02:41,822 --> 00:02:43,129
Oh! Good.
35
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,805
- You look lovely, Raquel.
- Thank you very much, Albert.
36
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,936
Yes, you look very nice, Raquel.
37
00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:53,681
Thank you. Wait till you see this.
38
00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:57,431
- And you look lovely, Cassandra.
- Thank you, Albert.
39
00:02:57,638 --> 00:03:01,161
Oh, there you are, sweetheart.
How's my little nephew?
40
00:03:01,196 --> 00:03:02,760
Get off!
41
00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:08,806
- Well. What d'you think?
- Well, it�s a bit difficult, Raquel.
42
00:03:09,004 --> 00:03:12,058
You see, Rodney and I
are both opposed to the fur trade.
43
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:17,293
I think, what Cass is trying to say is,
we both think it looked better on the animal.
44
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,092
Whatever that was.
45
00:03:21,232 --> 00:03:25,430
Innit marvelous? Del buys Raquel a coat
and you two have a pop at her!
46
00:03:25,587 --> 00:03:30,336
Del bought it? Oh, I'm sorry, Raquel,
I thought it was real!
47
00:03:33,056 --> 00:03:39,341
No no, no, dopey, no,
that�s stimulated fur!
48
00:03:40,532 --> 00:03:42,970
- Sorry, didn't realise.
- Well, there you go!
49
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,853
I tell you what we are going to do then.
50
00:03:45,721 --> 00:03:48,706
�Cause little Damien's downstairs
with the babysitter,
51
00:03:48,741 --> 00:03:51,517
we�re gonna have a couple of glasses
of the old champagne here
52
00:03:51,552 --> 00:03:55,709
then it�s down the Nag's Head
for some decent celebrations. Alright?
53
00:03:57,029 --> 00:04:00,576
- You are on the orange juice, alright?
- Yes, thank you, doctor.
54
00:04:00,611 --> 00:04:02,667
That�s alright.
All part of the service.
55
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:13,162
- Del. I feel a bit embarrassed.
- You don't need to.
56
00:04:13,197 --> 00:04:15,886
I mean you got a tie,
and suit, the full Monty.
57
00:04:16,052 --> 00:04:20,940
I didn't mean that, I mean�
I've only got 20 quid on me.
58
00:04:21,147 --> 00:04:24,951
- Cor, what have you done with your wages?
- This is me wages.
59
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,326
Oh that�s right. I remember
we�ve had a bit of a hard week, bruv.
60
00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:30,013
I know. I was there!
61
00:04:37,479 --> 00:04:41,699
Well, I'm even worse off than you.
I spent all my money on Raquel's dress.
62
00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:45,548
Still, don�t matter.
Tonight's festivities we can put on the slate.
63
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,983
- Would you reckon Mike'll stand it?
- Yeah, of course he will.
64
00:04:48,018 --> 00:04:51,291
- He's a diamond that boy, absolute diamond.
- Well I hope you're right...
65
00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:54,753
And oi, when are you gonna say
something nice to Raquel?
66
00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:57,153
She's got herself all done up
and you ain't said a word.
67
00:04:57,188 --> 00:04:59,480
Well, I was reading me book, weren't I?
68
00:04:59,836 --> 00:05:02,997
Alright, alright, don�t worry.
I'll think of something nice to say.
69
00:05:03,032 --> 00:05:04,629
You�re quite right.
Come on, let's go.
70
00:05:04,664 --> 00:05:09,312
Come on then girls,
ladies and gentlemen, time to celebrate.
71
00:05:09,347 --> 00:05:12,816
Go on Rodney, you got the girls,
Here you are Albert, this is yours.
72
00:05:12,851 --> 00:05:14,836
- I don't believe it!
- What's that?
73
00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:19,327
You see this girl here. I worked with her years ago
when I was in show business.
74
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:24,272
She was just a kid then! Look at her now,
she's about to appear in the new James Bond film!
75
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,958
Pierce Brosnan.
76
00:05:26,145 --> 00:05:29,689
You don't need Pierce Brosnan dear,
you've got me.
77
00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:32,416
Yes, haven't I just?
78
00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:37,842
I tell you what, Raquel.
If she can be in a James Bond film, so could you.
79
00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:40,767
- Oh shut up.
- No, you could.
80
00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:46,944
- Don't be silly.
- I'm serious. Look at her, she's a dog.
81
00:06:08,054 --> 00:06:14,711
So that's a G&T for Raquel, Tequila Slammer
for Rodney, orange juice for Cassandra.
82
00:06:14,746 --> 00:06:19,658
Oh by the way, that Indian bloke,
Doctor Singh was in earlier, wanted to talk to you.
83
00:06:19,693 --> 00:06:22,787
- Something about some paint you sold him.
- Oh really, was he really?
84
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:25,863
He seemed very anxious to speak to you, Del.
Have you gpt problems, mate?
85
00:06:25,898 --> 00:06:31,252
No, no! Just a minor misunderstanding.
Nothing that can't be sorted out with a civilized chat.
86
00:06:31,436 --> 00:06:35,674
If he calls in again, Mike,
would you tell him I've gone to live in New Zealand?
87
00:06:36,164 --> 00:06:37,728
I think I can remember that.
88
00:06:37,763 --> 00:06:40,733
Here, have Rodney and Cassandra
thought of a name for the baby yet?
89
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:46,965
No, not yet, Mike. It's early days, she's only just
a little bit pregnant. She�s got a long way to go.
90
00:06:47,435 --> 00:06:50,096
Still, shows Rodney got
the hang of it in the end.
91
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:55,543
Oh yes! He's a Trotter alright.
We don't stop till the job's finished.
92
00:06:56,958 --> 00:07:00,991
Right, now then, what have we got here?
We�ve got a Harvey Wall Banger for me�
93
00:07:01,026 --> 00:07:05,166
that�s a cognac for Boycie,
vodka and lime, that�s for Marlene�
94
00:07:05,201 --> 00:07:07,568
Cubre Libre, that�s for Denzil...
95
00:07:07,603 --> 00:07:10,948
rum and blackcurrant
for Bobby Crush over there,
96
00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:14,833
scotches for the market lads,
pint of diesel for Trigger...
97
00:07:15,449 --> 00:07:19,819
- Mickey, what you and your boys want?
- Canadian Clubs all round, Del. Cheers.
98
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:23,754
Canadian Clubs all around over there
and have one yourself, Michael.
99
00:07:23,789 --> 00:07:28,697
- Cheers, Del. Call it 25 quid for cash.
- OK, right. Put it on the slate.
100
00:07:29,054 --> 00:07:32,748
No slate, mate.
I've had a visit from the brewery.
101
00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:35,630
Alright.
102
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:38,404
OK, look. There's a fiver, and�
103
00:07:38,794 --> 00:07:43,589
Would you Adam and Eve it?
I've only gone and left me wallet at home.
104
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,523
I remember now Damien was playing
with it.
105
00:07:45,558 --> 00:07:47,967
I was teaching him on financial management,
you know,
106
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,919
how to avoid expensive pubs,
that sort of thing.
107
00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:52,798
I'll sell them to someone else then, Del.
108
00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:55,942
- No you can�t, these are second-hand.
- I'll sell them cheap then!
109
00:07:55,977 --> 00:07:57,824
Alright, I'll give you a fiver for them now.
110
00:07:57,859 --> 00:08:00,886
Look Del, it's not my fault,
it's the brewery!
111
00:08:00,921 --> 00:08:03,032
They've brought in
this revolutionary new rule.
112
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:06,967
From now on
customers have to pay for their drinks.
113
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:11,615
I hate all these newfangled ideas!
Hang about. Don�t go away.
114
00:08:15,339 --> 00:08:20,165
I have managed to lay my hands
on these radically new designed hair-dryers.
115
00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:24,605
Normally they retail at �69.99
up in Regents Street,
116
00:08:25,556 --> 00:08:28,235
but for you, 15 nicker.
117
00:08:28,457 --> 00:08:32,686
Del, look at my hair.
What do I need with one of them?
118
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:36,582
I've only gotta stick me head out the window
for ten seconds and it's bone dry!
119
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,369
But you see, this is different,
�cause this, you see that?
120
00:08:39,404 --> 00:08:41,925
That has got what they call a volumiser on it.
121
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,195
You see, that gives all your hair
a body and everything.
122
00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:50,408
So I could end up looking like Lilly Savage?
Very tempting, Del.
123
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:57,980
I'm giving it to you Michael, ain�t I, eh?
15 nicker, come on, Mick!
124
00:08:58,368 --> 00:09:01,719
Go on then, give us it here.
But you still owe me a tenner!
125
00:09:03,123 --> 00:09:06,057
I tell you what.
You are a bit of a gambling man, ain't ya?
126
00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:10,217
I�ll tell you what. I�ll have a little bet with ya.
Double or quits.
127
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,481
Now, the thing is�
128
00:09:13,121 --> 00:09:19,599
If I win I give you this fiver for this round of drinks.
But if you win, I owe you a tenner.
129
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:23,688
- You already owe me a tenner!
- You've got nothing to lose then, have you?
130
00:09:24,659 --> 00:09:27,910
Trig! Just a minute!
You'll like this, Trig, watch this.
131
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:30,893
A little bet we�re having here.
OK then, Michael.
132
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:37,352
I bet if you put your hands out, in front of you
I can make you turn them over without touching you.
133
00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:39,581
You can make me turn me hands over
without touching me?
134
00:09:39,616 --> 00:09:42,595
Exactly.
It's called 'The Power of Positive Thought'.
135
00:09:43,201 --> 00:09:45,494
Alright, off you go.
Put your hands out in front of you.
136
00:09:46,283 --> 00:09:47,629
No, the other way...
137
00:09:50,145 --> 00:09:52,702
There you go. That�s it, thank you.
138
00:09:55,993 --> 00:09:59,218
Alright, there you go.
Help yourselves, you can.
139
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:02,452
I have been in the motor-trade
for many years now,
140
00:10:02,515 --> 00:10:07,069
and until recently I never thought
of the damage fumes did to our world.
141
00:10:07,104 --> 00:10:11,167
- Now let me explain to you my theory.
- Right, Mike, same again please, will ya?
142
00:10:11,202 --> 00:10:20,741
Just allow me to continue. This is my theory:
The future holds the key to all our success.
143
00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:24,840
You better not tell Raquel's Dad that,
he's an antiques dealer.
144
00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:30,998
Now recently I have invested
a lot of money in electric cars.
145
00:10:31,033 --> 00:10:34,032
Yeah, he bought Tyler a Scalectrix set.
146
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:39,377
I'm not talking about model bloody racing cars,
for Gawd's sake!
147
00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:41,982
Oi, Rodney, come on!
Get up, it's your round.
148
00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:48,050
If it's the same as the last round
it'll be 25 quid.
149
00:10:48,085 --> 00:10:51,809
- 25 qu� Mike?
- No!
150
00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:56,298
- Alright, Dave?
- Hello Trig.
151
00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:00,523
I can make you turn your hands over
without touching you.
152
00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:05,345
I can make you turn your hands over
without touching you.
153
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:07,063
Come on, hold 'em out.
154
00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:11,942
No, the other way.
155
00:11:13,053 --> 00:11:14,379
See?
156
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,589
There you go, Dave.
157
00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:28,442
Well done, Albert, very nice.
158
00:11:29,296 --> 00:11:34,346
Congratulations Albert, it reminded me
of the theme track from Noddy, the Movie.
159
00:11:38,863 --> 00:11:40,684
Boycie's right about one thing, Del.
160
00:11:40,719 --> 00:11:43,427
I mean, you and Rodney should be thinking
about your children's future.
161
00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:46,743
- You know what I'm saying?
- You gotta send 'em to private school.
162
00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:50,874
Leave it out Boycie,
we can�t afford to send our kids private!
163
00:11:50,909 --> 00:11:54,399
Anyway, another round please, Mike.
Come on Boycie, your turn.
164
00:11:54,434 --> 00:12:00,974
Our Tyler's been private since he was three.
He's 7 now and he can almost write his name.
165
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:03,998
Can he really?
166
00:12:04,863 --> 00:12:08,966
Here, darling. Perhaps we ought to scrimp
and save and send little Damien private.
167
00:12:09,141 --> 00:12:12,348
Well, I ain't sending my child private.
There's nothing wrong with state education.
168
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:17,168
I'm not sending Damien to our old school,
Dockside Secondary Modern.
169
00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:19,498
Ooh, that was a tough old place.
170
00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:23,970
See, Rodney, we didn't stand a chance of
a decent education because of the size of the classes.
171
00:12:24,005 --> 00:12:26,772
Fifty, sixty to a class.
172
00:12:27,118 --> 00:12:30,526
You're exaggerating,
your classes weren't that big!
173
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:33,460
By the time the teacher had finished reading
the register it was dinner time.
174
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:37,961
You could tell the calibre of our school too,
by the head boy.
175
00:12:37,996 --> 00:12:40,254
- Who was it?
- Trigger.
176
00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:44,664
- Did you call, Del?
- Ah, there you are, Trig.
177
00:12:44,968 --> 00:12:49,490
- We was just talking about our old school.
- Alright, come on, let's ask Trig.
178
00:12:49,525 --> 00:12:51,867
And you lot stay quiet, no prompting!
179
00:12:51,902 --> 00:12:55,082
Trigger, did you have big classes
at your old school?
180
00:12:55,289 --> 00:12:57,800
- No, not very big.
- See?
181
00:12:57,975 --> 00:13:00,222
High ceilings though.
182
00:13:02,079 --> 00:13:06,004
And a few low ones.
Remember your accident?
183
00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:07,302
Oh yeah.
184
00:13:07,337 --> 00:13:12,130
Trig was walking through one of the corridors
and he smacked right into a Mind Your Head sign.
185
00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:17,544
Gave him a right clout. His family sued
the education authorities for brain-damage.
186
00:13:17,726 --> 00:13:20,620
The judge awarded him �7.50.
187
00:13:21,925 --> 00:13:25,402
How d'you walk into a 'Mind Your Head' sign?
Didn't you see it?
188
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:29,483
Of course I saw it, but in those days
I couldn't read.
189
00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:36,624
- Anybody gonna collect these drinks or what?
- Yeah, I'll get 'em. Come on Boycie, cough up!
190
00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:38,829
There you are. I want change.
191
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,404
- Rodney, congratulations mate.
- Thanks, Mickey.
192
00:13:44,566 --> 00:13:48,901
Here, I was down Sid's Caff yesterday
and that Doctor Singh came in looking for Del Boy.
193
00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:51,816
- Did he?
- He struck me as an angry man.
194
00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:53,614
What's it all about?
195
00:13:53,793 --> 00:13:56,856
It�s something to do with some paint
and his surgery.
196
00:13:56,891 --> 00:14:00,470
I mean, at the end of the day
it's not my problem, is it? I just work for Del.
197
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:04,929
Yeah. That's just it. You're just an employee.
You just follow orders.
198
00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:08,948
You pick things up, you put things down,
you pick things up again.
199
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:11,232
Yeah. But I do think for myself.
200
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:16,279
It's hardly a job requirement, is it?
I mean, I started a new job last month.
201
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:21,148
Good money, company car, the lot.
And it�s not a fly-by-night firm.
202
00:14:21,345 --> 00:14:23,631
They're soon in Panorama.
203
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:27,305
What are you then?
A double-glazing salesman?
204
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:32,219
- No I am not! Although it is to do with glass.
- What, windows?
205
00:14:32,254 --> 00:14:35,279
Not windows. Solar windows!
206
00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:38,950
I mean, it�s a whole new concept
in user-friendly heating.
207
00:14:38,985 --> 00:14:43,723
- You're a salesman.
- No, I'm more like a scientist!
208
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,909
It's double-glazing, innit?
209
00:14:46,270 --> 00:14:52,286
No, no, no. I mean, fair enough, it does involve
two panes of glass, but it's not double-glazing.
210
00:14:52,909 --> 00:14:56,295
This company is very profile-conscious
and customer-driven.
211
00:14:56,462 --> 00:15:02,332
I'm executive of area perspective and overview,
and I�m recruiting new staff.
212
00:15:02,506 --> 00:15:06,762
I'm doing interviews
every Monday at Burger King�s.
213
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:09,357
You're a double-glazing
salesman, ain't you?
214
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,354
Yeah.
215
00:15:11,636 --> 00:15:16,365
It's gotta be better than working for Del, innit?
I mean, you're like a 34 year old paperboy.
216
00:15:16,703 --> 00:15:20,638
I might not be working for him much longer.
I got me eye out for something...
217
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:21,975
Raquel!
218
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,697
I just came up to give you
a hand with the drinks.
219
00:15:23,732 --> 00:15:25,623
Oh, yeah. That�s yours.
220
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,704
Now, you listen. There is a few young
up ad coming firms who are after me.
221
00:15:30,739 --> 00:15:34,676
Oh yeah, I bet you're being
head-hunted by Ian Beale.
222
00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:38,533
Well, you'd better do some-thing quick,
you've got a kid on the way.
223
00:15:40,381 --> 00:15:43,423
Ladies and Gentlemen,
will you please raise your glasses
224
00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:47,332
to our future Mum and Dad,
Cassandra and Rodney.
225
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:50,934
- Cassandra and Rodney!
- Dave!
226
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:09,321
Goodnight, champ.
Dream us some luck.
227
00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:18,694
It�s alright. He�s Sound Dough.
228
00:16:29,079 --> 00:16:30,670
Oh my God!
229
00:16:38,239 --> 00:16:44,819
- Well what do you think, eh?
- They�re very nice, Del. They're very... nice.
230
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:50,372
Yes, I got �em off Monkey Harris,
�7.50, can't be bad, can it?
231
00:16:50,794 --> 00:16:52,076
Lovely.
232
00:16:53,224 --> 00:16:56,369
There we go. Lovely Jubbly.
233
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:08,531
D�you know, It says here a bloke's supposed
to make contact with his feminine side.
234
00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:11,885
Did you know that geezers
had feminine sides?
235
00:17:12,057 --> 00:17:15,038
Well, I've read about it. Look, I wouldn't worry,
I don't think it applies to you.
236
00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:19,523
Thank God for that.
I thought I had to wear a blouse or something.
237
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,455
Del, can we talk for a minute?
238
00:17:23,711 --> 00:17:27,776
I heard Rodney and his mate, Mickey Pearce
talking tonight. He's started a new job.
239
00:17:27,811 --> 00:17:29,932
Mickey Pearce, you must be joking!
240
00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:34,332
That bloke's been on the dole for so long,
they invite him to the staff dance.
241
00:17:35,364 --> 00:17:39,086
- Del, will you do something for me?
- Yes, of course.
242
00:17:39,121 --> 00:17:42,703
- Let me finish the bottom of this page.
- No!
243
00:17:46,006 --> 00:17:48,046
Give Rodney a proper job.
244
00:17:48,096 --> 00:17:50,826
- What do you mean? He's got a proper job.
- No he hasn't, he works for you.
245
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,962
- Well that is a proper job.
- Alright, what does he do?
246
00:17:56,196 --> 00:17:59,687
He lifts things,
he keeps his eye open, he drives the van.
247
00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:03,082
And how would you describe his job?
Give it a name, a title.
248
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,527
He's a Rodney.
249
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:15,064
Give him a job and a title he can be proud of.
In seven months he'll be a father.
250
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:23,160
Listen Raquel, you do not know Rodney like I do.
I mean, he�s not really very astute.
251
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:27,682
If he was left in charge
we wouldn't be where we are today.
252
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:32,271
- No?
- No. He�s got no business sense.
253
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:38,325
He�s the sort of bloke, if he had a flower shop
he'd close on St. Valentines Day.
254
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:42,794
Make him feel important.
Do something to help him.
255
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:46,694
If you must know,
I am doing that very same thing.
256
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,797
I'm trying to find some help for Rodney.
257
00:18:49,966 --> 00:18:55,017
What with Cassandra being in the situation she is,
he might have to dash off at any time,
258
00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:58,927
so I�ve put the word about,
I'm looking for some part time help
259
00:18:58,962 --> 00:19:01,330
to take the weight off Rodney�s shoulders.
260
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:05,169
- That's nice of you.
- Well, I'm that sort of bloke, aren�t I?
261
00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:24,706
- You know this thing with Cassandra.
- You mean her pregnancy?
262
00:19:26,122 --> 00:19:31,014
- Not making you broody, is it?
- No!
263
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,512
I never want to go
through a pregnancy again.
264
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:39,637
- Why, it hurt, did it?
- Stung a bit.
265
00:19:39,672 --> 00:19:43,674
- Yeah, I could tell.
- What gave it away? All that screaming?
266
00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:47,510
Yeah, that was a clue.
Still, he was worth it in the end, weren't he?
267
00:19:47,772 --> 00:19:52,128
Yeah, of course he was. It's not just that.
There's the financial side as well.
268
00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:55,739
I mean, we can barely afford to pay the mortgage
on this place let alone feed another mouth.
269
00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:58,353
And then there's the age thing
to be taken into account.
270
00:19:58,515 --> 00:20:01,614
Yeah, I know. You ain't getting any younger,
are you?
271
00:20:06,786 --> 00:20:12,680
I've been thinking. One day they might make
a musical about the history of the Trotter family.
272
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,941
Then as a sequel they could do
Schindler�s List On Ice.
273
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:22,454
Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you feeling
slightly under-motivated tonight?
274
00:20:23,224 --> 00:20:26,476
There are people on death row
with more motivation than me.
275
00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:33,743
I've got to get another job, Cass!
I get so frustrated working for Del.
276
00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:38,144
I just wish he'd present me
with a challenge every now and then, like...
277
00:20:38,335 --> 00:20:41,782
I don't know... giving someone their change.
278
00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:47,140
Tomorrow we are trying to flog a lot of
Mickey Mouse hair-dryers
279
00:20:47,175 --> 00:20:49,875
and a lot of aerodynamic cycling hats
280
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:52,832
which are really horse riding helmets
sprayed red.
281
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:58,793
And we've got a very angry Sikh after our blood.
This is not what I call job satisfaction.
282
00:20:59,055 --> 00:21:02,130
Rodney, you're the only one
who can change Del's attitude.
283
00:21:02,317 --> 00:21:05,768
Just going out in the morning
and hoping for the best is not good enough.
284
00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:09,782
At the bank we always advise
small businesses to target specifics
285
00:21:09,817 --> 00:21:12,502
to achieve maximum market penetration.
286
00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:15,364
Cassandra, we're talking about Derek Trotter!
287
00:21:15,518 --> 00:21:19,581
To Del, 'Market Penetration'
means sex under a barrow!
288
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,830
But at least you can try to influence him.
289
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,753
I mean, you're involved
in decision-making now, aren't you?
290
00:21:25,908 --> 00:21:30,764
Oh yeah, sometimes he lets me toss the coin.
Decision-making!
291
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:34,807
- He's just bought himself a book.
- Del has?
292
00:21:34,842 --> 00:21:38,080
Yeah. And it�s all words, no pictures.
293
00:21:38,947 --> 00:21:42,723
It's called Modern Man,
and according to the author,
294
00:21:42,758 --> 00:21:46,476
modern men are decisive,
positive decision-makers
295
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:49,810
so Del has been making decisions
all over the shop!
296
00:21:50,665 --> 00:21:54,560
In fact, it's thanks to some of Del's
decisive, positive decision-making
297
00:21:54,595 --> 00:21:57,147
that we have got the consignment
of Mickey Mouse hair-dryers
298
00:21:57,182 --> 00:22:00,795
and a load of cycling hats
that are really horse riding helmets sprayed red!
299
00:22:01,397 --> 00:22:03,210
Look, try and talk to him.
300
00:22:03,245 --> 00:22:06,614
I know he jumps the gun a lot,
but he does listen to you.
301
00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:09,503
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
302
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:12,422
Actually I had a word with him this morning
303
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:16,405
and told him he�s got to stop making
all these on the spot decisions.
304
00:22:16,786 --> 00:22:20,437
I said to him
�think things through, consider it,
305
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:23,652
look at all the angles
and weigh up the pros and cons.
306
00:22:23,869 --> 00:22:25,759
And I think it hit home.
307
00:22:28,883 --> 00:22:31,367
Yeah, I'm sure he took my words on board.
308
00:22:32,264 --> 00:22:34,727
I'm gonna have a vasectomy!
309
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:43,465
- Did I say something?
- What's brought this on?
310
00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:49,489
It says in my book here, that modern men
take the responsibility when it comes to family planning.
311
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:54,324
Millions of men all over the world have had the snip.
They can do it while you wait.
312
00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:56,760
Del, why don't you think
about it for a while?
313
00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:59,392
Look, there�s nothing to think about,
sweetheart.
314
00:22:59,427 --> 00:23:05,619
We can't afford to have another chavvie
and I am a modern man making a positive decision.
315
00:23:05,871 --> 00:23:07,551
But you've got to consider the future.
316
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:11,017
I mean, I don't want to be the prophet of doom,
but what would happen if say in ten years time
317
00:23:11,052 --> 00:23:13,193
things didn't work out between us
and we broke up.
318
00:23:13,228 --> 00:23:15,925
Then you met someone else
and you wanted to raise another family?
319
00:23:18,989 --> 00:23:21,991
Come on, don't be silly, sweetheart.
320
00:23:22,814 --> 00:23:27,207
Ten years from now I won't be able
to raise a smile let alone anything else!
321
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,948
I can remember when we set off
on the road to our horizon!
322
00:23:36,660 --> 00:23:38,280
It was bloody years ago!
323
00:23:39,064 --> 00:23:44,697
We had a labour government, you could eat beef.
Des O'Connor was white.
324
00:23:48,108 --> 00:23:51,801
- Just look at us now!
- Rodney, how can I put this?
325
00:23:52,317 --> 00:23:53,991
Shut up!
326
00:24:03,503 --> 00:24:04,956
Morning Damien.
327
00:24:05,132 --> 00:24:08,664
I can make you turn your hands
over without touching you.
328
00:24:10,122 --> 00:24:12,716
- Yeah?
- Hold your hands out.
329
00:24:16,986 --> 00:24:18,821
Turn them over.
330
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:25,491
See?
331
00:24:26,172 --> 00:24:29,864
Mummy. I made Uncle Rodney
turn his hands over.
332
00:24:32,955 --> 00:24:35,869
Alright, I grant you things
are a bit bleak at the moment.
333
00:24:36,283 --> 00:24:38,933
That's like saying the
Antarctic's a bit nippy.
334
00:24:39,727 --> 00:24:42,777
Well, I think that our fortune lies
just around the corner.
335
00:24:42,956 --> 00:24:48,273
We're here where the big opportunities happen.
We are at the forefront of the enterprise-culture.
336
00:24:48,308 --> 00:24:54,373
Enterpri... You're so enterprising
you bought a load of horse-riding crash helmets!
337
00:24:54,750 --> 00:25:00,167
Didn't you stop to think for one moment
that Peckham is not big show-jumping country?
338
00:25:02,590 --> 00:25:08,439
Don�t you worry about that. We'll sell 'em.
I don't know what's happened to you lately.
339
00:25:08,725 --> 00:25:14,408
You seem to have stopped believing.
D�you know what mum said to me on her deathbed?
340
00:25:14,443 --> 00:25:16,103
Oh no!
341
00:25:16,273 --> 00:25:20,090
She said, 'Del Boy, never stop believing.
342
00:25:20,337 --> 00:25:23,980
�Cause if you stop believing
you've nothing left to hope for.'
343
00:25:24,176 --> 00:25:25,827
You've got to have a dream.
344
00:25:26,136 --> 00:25:30,407
If you don't have a dream,
then how you gonna have a dream come true?
345
00:25:34,736 --> 00:25:37,121
That is exactly what she said.
346
00:25:39,034 --> 00:25:42,902
See, mum, she never stopped believing.
Even after you was born.
347
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,877
It�s all very well for you to say Del, innit
But at the end of the day...
348
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:49,488
What's that supposed to mean?
'Even after I was born'?
349
00:25:49,667 --> 00:25:51,841
Alright, it wasn�t your fault
we didn�t blame you.
350
00:25:52,003 --> 00:25:55,052
- What wasn't my fault?
- You being a problem child.
351
00:25:57,054 --> 00:25:59,980
I weren't a problem child!
I was a good boy.
352
00:26:01,070 --> 00:26:06,547
Yes, I know, but you did have a problem,
you kept getting taller.
353
00:26:07,592 --> 00:26:10,952
What did you want me to do,
stay at two foot four for the rest of me life?
354
00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:14,782
No, it wasn�t that. It�s just that
when all the other little kids�
355
00:26:14,817 --> 00:26:19,079
you see, they could wear their trousers
for a year and a half, and be no problem.
356
00:26:19,114 --> 00:26:22,281
But you, after a couple of months
they'd look like hotpants.
357
00:26:26,238 --> 00:26:30,087
Well most of the pictures I've got of me as a schoolboy
I was wearing short trousers anyway.
358
00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:36,069
No, no. They weren�t short trousers.
They looked like short trousers,
359
00:26:36,809 --> 00:26:41,071
but if you look very carefully at the bottoms of the legs
you'll find that they are all fraying.
360
00:26:41,255 --> 00:26:45,273
That is where a couple of months before
they was rubbing at the tops of your shoes.
361
00:26:46,916 --> 00:26:49,996
Anyway, listen.
I am going to make a phone call.
362
00:26:50,498 --> 00:26:53,795
And just remember, Rodney.
Never stop believing.
363
00:26:57,037 --> 00:26:59,847
- This is difficult.
- What's wrong?
364
00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:03,107
Well, I've got a bit of good news
and a bit of bad news for Del...
365
00:27:04,019 --> 00:27:08,409
- I'm applying for another job.
- Yeah? What's the bad news?
366
00:27:10,436 --> 00:27:12,622
That is the bad news!
367
00:27:13,304 --> 00:27:18,093
The good news is I�m gonna stay on with Del
until he can find someone suitable to replace me.
368
00:27:18,128 --> 00:27:20,737
Well, that should take him
about half hour.
369
00:27:21,396 --> 00:27:24,824
You won't be saying that when I'm
the managing director of something, will you?
370
00:27:24,859 --> 00:27:26,713
You got something lined up then?
371
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:32,919
This is job-advertising paper.
Listen.
372
00:27:33,239 --> 00:27:37,897
'Local company seeks ambitious,
energetic and creative young person
373
00:27:37,932 --> 00:27:43,084
to join its successful sales force.'
Well, who are they describing?
374
00:27:43,325 --> 00:27:47,011
- No, go on.
- It's me!
375
00:27:47,173 --> 00:27:49,209
- Is it?
- Yes!
376
00:27:51,347 --> 00:27:55,891
'Experience with computers an advantage
but not essential.
377
00:27:55,926 --> 00:28:01,287
Successful applicant will receive full training,
good salary and company vehicle.'
378
00:28:01,493 --> 00:28:04,409
- Well, I'm experienced with computers.
- Yeah.
379
00:28:04,444 --> 00:28:09,324
- But you've never got one to work yet, have ya?
- Piss off!
380
00:28:11,535 --> 00:28:14,812
Yes... I could call in this afternoon
and sign the papers.
381
00:28:16,897 --> 00:28:20,096
Alright. OK then, you�ll call back.
382
00:28:20,427 --> 00:28:22,387
OK. Bonjour.
383
00:28:24,562 --> 00:28:27,657
Look at that, it�s a new digital phone, sweetheart.
As clear as a bell.
384
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:29,928
- Was that the clinic you were talking to?
- Yes.
385
00:28:30,218 --> 00:28:33,698
I�ll get doctored on Tuesday.
They�re gonna call back and confirm.
386
00:28:33,733 --> 00:28:37,435
- You're serious about this, aren't you?
- Oh yeah, never been more serious.
387
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:42,077
Look, Del, volunteering for this vasectomy
is very brave and thoughtful of you,
388
00:28:42,112 --> 00:28:45,136
and I'm flattered that you're doing it for me.
But you don't have to do it.
389
00:28:45,171 --> 00:28:47,169
No, it�s alright.
I think it's for the best, sweetheart.
390
00:28:47,204 --> 00:28:49,486
Alright. But I don't want you coming back to me
and saying,
391
00:28:49,521 --> 00:28:54,181
'It's all your fault, Raquel!' if you get a bit�
you know� sore.
392
00:28:58,060 --> 00:28:59,775
As if I would!
393
00:29:01,268 --> 00:29:04,654
That will be them. Answer the phone, sweetheart,
and be posh, will you?
394
00:29:04,689 --> 00:29:06,615
- What?
- Be posh.
395
00:29:06,650 --> 00:29:10,053
- I don�t want everything for a couple of hippidy-oi�s!
- Yes, sir!
396
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,979
Hello, how may I help you?
397
00:29:14,014 --> 00:29:18,250
Oh hello, I'm phoning about the job
advertised in the Peckham Echo.
398
00:29:21,016 --> 00:29:23,184
Hold the line, caller.
399
00:29:24,404 --> 00:29:26,627
Have you put an ad in the Peckham Echo?
400
00:29:26,662 --> 00:29:30,063
Yeah, for some help for Rodney.
Who's that?
401
00:29:30,799 --> 00:29:32,646
Rodney.
402
00:29:35,646 --> 00:29:38,746
What's he phoning me for?
He's only in the bloody living room.
403
00:29:39,875 --> 00:29:42,336
No, he's applying for the job.
404
00:29:44,858 --> 00:29:48,040
What do you mean?
He's applying to assist himself?
405
00:29:50,150 --> 00:29:55,421
Wait a minute. I gotta think about this.
Press hold, it plays a tune.
406
00:29:56,422 --> 00:30:00,068
I'll put you on hold whilst I connect you
to our marketing department.
407
00:30:00,103 --> 00:30:01,789
Thank you.
408
00:30:10,171 --> 00:30:15,038
Treacherous little git!
I'm gonna wind him right up.
409
00:30:15,302 --> 00:30:19,263
- No, Del, don't. He'll feel embarrassed.
- With any luck.
410
00:30:23,486 --> 00:30:28,627
Hallo, this is the Marketing Manager, yes!
Sorry I�ve kept you.
411
00:30:29,757 --> 00:30:32,328
My name is Ivor Hardy...
412
00:30:35,937 --> 00:30:37,623
Hello Mr Hardy.
413
00:30:38,839 --> 00:30:42,850
- And you are?
- My name's Rodney Trotter.
414
00:30:43,019 --> 00:30:47,620
Oh, Rodney Tro� You're not
one of the Trotter brothers, are you?
415
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:51,577
No, I haven�t got a brother.
416
00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:01,752
That�s alright then.
Because I've heard some rumours about them.
417
00:31:02,317 --> 00:31:05,282
Right couple of scallywags so I�m told!
418
00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:11,809
Mind you the elder one's alright, he�s intelligent.
Quite a brilliant businessman, I�ve heard.
419
00:31:12,055 --> 00:31:17,283
No, no, it�s the other one.
It's his dippy younger brother that�s the problem.
420
00:31:22,754 --> 00:31:26,505
Oh well, like I say I haven�t got a brother.
421
00:31:26,943 --> 00:31:32,649
Now, you mention
a good salary and a company vehicle.
422
00:31:32,851 --> 00:31:35,083
Could you tell me a little bit more
about that, please?
423
00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:40,215
Yes, I can ride a bike.
424
00:31:51,036 --> 00:31:53,342
- Alright, Rodders?
- Just one moment.
425
00:31:53,775 --> 00:31:55,541
Yeah, yeah, fine.
426
00:31:55,729 --> 00:31:58,908
- Just on the phone to Cassandra.
- Oh, yeah? Alright is she?
427
00:31:59,065 --> 00:32:00,742
Yeah, terrific.
428
00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,355
- Give her my love.
- Yeah, I will do.
429
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:07,012
- And give her yours.
- Eh?
430
00:32:07,406 --> 00:32:09,030
Give her your love!
431
00:32:09,241 --> 00:32:14,937
You see, in my book it says that
a man must give the lady in his life
432
00:32:14,972 --> 00:32:18,660
his love every so often,
especially if she is pregnant.
433
00:32:19,181 --> 00:32:27,182
- So go on, you tell her you love her.
- No, I feel embarrassed.
434
00:32:28,141 --> 00:32:31,079
You don�t have to be embarrassed, do ya?
I mean, I am the only one here,
435
00:32:31,114 --> 00:32:36,296
and I'm the one who suggested to do it!
Go on, tell her.
436
00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:42,821
- Later.
- No, no, you tell her now, Rodney!
437
00:32:48,238 --> 00:32:49,842
I love you.
438
00:32:59,838 --> 00:33:05,408
- Sorry, what did you say?
- Nothing. I just coughed.
439
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:09,956
Oh, that�s alright. For a minute
I thought you said you loved me.
440
00:33:10,651 --> 00:33:13,917
No, I just coughed, honest.
441
00:33:15,715 --> 00:33:21,289
So what exactly do you sell and what would
the successful applicants duties be, please?
442
00:33:21,485 --> 00:33:25,865
Well we sell anything
we can lay our hands on, isn't it?
443
00:33:26,616 --> 00:33:31,410
And your duties would be, you see,
to take all this crap down to the market
444
00:33:32,743 --> 00:33:35,485
and you sell it from a suitcase.
445
00:33:36,991 --> 00:33:41,700
I think that you�re just the man
that we�ve been looking for, Mr Trotter.
446
00:33:43,911 --> 00:33:49,113
�Cause we're always on the lookout for
dirty little plonkers like you!
447
00:34:05,930 --> 00:34:08,616
Did you put this ad in the paper, Derek?
448
00:34:11,281 --> 00:34:13,236
Yes I did, Rodney!
449
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,687
Goodbye.
450
00:34:17,963 --> 00:34:23,087
I don't believe this! The one job in the paper
I really fancied and it�s mine!
451
00:34:24,820 --> 00:34:28,906
So what's going on then? You were gonna find
someone else and then get rid of me?
452
00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:32,324
I was gonna get rid....
You were trying to get rid of me! Weren't you?
453
00:34:32,359 --> 00:34:35,665
What was that?
�No, I haven�t got a brother.�
454
00:34:38,407 --> 00:34:41,724
If you must know, Rodney,
I was trying to get you some help.
455
00:34:41,759 --> 00:34:43,504
Right? That was all.
456
00:34:44,155 --> 00:34:46,751
What with Cassandra being in the situation
that she is,
457
00:34:46,786 --> 00:34:49,522
I thought that any time now
you might have to dash off
458
00:34:49,557 --> 00:34:54,281
so I thought that you could do with a little bit of help.
Take some weight off your shoulders.
459
00:34:54,316 --> 00:34:58,497
I didn't realise.
Thanks, Del and I'm sorry.
460
00:34:58,532 --> 00:35:03,874
That�s alright. Anyway, what�s all this
about you wanting to get another job?
461
00:35:04,057 --> 00:35:09,750
I really hit home the other day. When the baby's born
we gotta fill in the birth certificate, right?
462
00:35:09,785 --> 00:35:16,661
There's a section there that says: 'Father's Occupation'.
And I thought, what am I gonna put? A gofer!
463
00:35:18,068 --> 00:35:23,619
No. You are gonna put 'Sales Director.'
464
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,433
�Cause, you know what I'm gonna do
with the business? I'm going to expand.
465
00:35:27,820 --> 00:35:31,793
Rodney, you are gonna be in charge
of selling and I'm gonna be in charge of purchasing.
466
00:35:32,883 --> 00:35:37,265
So what will happen is, that you will be
in the marketplace, you'll be selling.
467
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:40,615
I'll be up there in the factories
and the warehouses and I will be buying.
468
00:35:40,650 --> 00:35:46,062
And if you find a line is going particularly well,
all you gotta do is you get on the blower to me and say,
469
00:35:46,097 --> 00:35:50,499
- ��Del Boy, buy, buy, buy�.
- Yeah!
470
00:35:50,705 --> 00:35:54,786
And then you could get on the blower to me
and go �sell, sell, sell!�
471
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:07,033
- Yeah, that�s a good idea, that!
- We should have done this ages ago.
472
00:36:08,721 --> 00:36:13,019
- Exactly. It's called �expansion�.
- And then we will streamline the business.
473
00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:17,217
That�s alright. That�s what we�ll do.
We will expand by streamlining!
474
00:36:17,678 --> 00:36:19,488
Come on. Let's go down to Sid's caff.
475
00:36:20,222 --> 00:36:25,350
Whenever we reach historic moments like this
I feel like a fry-up!
476
00:36:33,815 --> 00:36:36,075
Rodders! Get down!
477
00:36:37,551 --> 00:36:40,506
- What's happening?
- It's that Doctor Singh!
478
00:36:44,254 --> 00:36:50,018
- It�s alright, he�s gone now. That was a close one.
- He's gonna catch us eventually.
479
00:36:50,053 --> 00:36:52,473
Yeah, well we'll cross that bridge
when we come to it...
480
00:36:54,264 --> 00:36:57,910
Rodney, I've been thinking.
481
00:36:58,724 --> 00:37:01,979
- What about?
- I�m gonna have a vasectomy.
482
00:37:05,447 --> 00:37:07,519
What�s the matter?
Has it gone down the wrong hole, or what?
483
00:37:09,387 --> 00:37:10,746
A vasectomy?
484
00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:14,220
Keep your voice down, will ya?
485
00:37:15,883 --> 00:37:17,885
How does Raquel feel about it?
486
00:37:18,701 --> 00:37:22,109
No, I'm having it done!
487
00:37:22,993 --> 00:37:28,834
I know that! Bloody hell!
I meant, have you discussed it with Raquel?
488
00:37:28,869 --> 00:37:33,484
Yes of course I have! Last night in bed, I said
'Sweetheart, I'm gonna have a vasectomy.'
489
00:37:33,730 --> 00:37:38,040
- So it was quite an in-depth discussion?
- You can't make these decisions lightly, can you?
490
00:37:39,518 --> 00:37:43,019
I�ve thought about it
and I can�t really afford another kid.
491
00:37:43,207 --> 00:37:44,893
And we haven�t got room in the flat.
492
00:37:45,158 --> 00:37:48,762
Anyway, we both agreed.
What do we want with another kid for?
493
00:37:49,173 --> 00:37:53,343
We've got Damien and he's like two kids
rolled into one, ain't he?
494
00:37:55,371 --> 00:38:00,952
Me and Raquel have only gotta look
at each other and she's three months gone.
495
00:38:01,968 --> 00:38:04,569
I think I got a lot of them...
496
00:38:08,082 --> 00:38:11,049
You know, tadpoles.
497
00:38:13,157 --> 00:38:14,624
Tadpoles?
498
00:38:16,301 --> 00:38:20,804
Yeah, you know. You see them on the telly
under the microscope.
499
00:38:23,235 --> 00:38:26,169
I got a lot of them as well!
Doctor said.
500
00:38:26,204 --> 00:38:29,161
Yeah I know, but the doctor reckons
that I have got probably more tadpoles
501
00:38:29,196 --> 00:38:31,902
than they got on the Serpentine!
502
00:38:35,140 --> 00:38:37,158
You gonna have it done at the hospital?
503
00:38:37,845 --> 00:38:41,775
I'm not gonna let Trigger do it
with his Black and Decker, am I?
504
00:38:44,033 --> 00:38:47,326
I meant, are you going to the hospital
or the local clinic?
505
00:38:49,220 --> 00:38:51,058
I�ll probably go to the clinic.
506
00:38:53,148 --> 00:38:55,732
Rodney, I want your advice.
507
00:38:58,157 --> 00:39:01,898
You know when a lot of rich
and successful people
508
00:39:01,933 --> 00:39:04,829
when they have this thing done
509
00:39:06,325 --> 00:39:11,425
they leave a lot of their tadpoles in this bank.
510
00:39:13,297 --> 00:39:14,569
Do they?
511
00:39:14,604 --> 00:39:18,543
The thing is,
do you think that I ought do that?
512
00:39:21,212 --> 00:39:27,418
You could do. I don't know what
Nat West will think about it.
513
00:39:33,899 --> 00:39:40,181
No, not Nat West! Not that sort of Bank.
It�s a special bank where they freeze it all.
514
00:39:40,216 --> 00:39:41,419
Oh, the...
515
00:39:42,668 --> 00:39:47,840
�Cause the thing is, when I'm rich and famous,
then they�ll be able to use it, won�t they?
516
00:39:47,875 --> 00:39:50,723
�Cause then they�ll be lots of
little Damiens running about.
517
00:39:50,996 --> 00:39:52,434
No!
518
00:39:53,407 --> 00:39:57,116
I mean, you could upset Raquel.
519
00:39:57,757 --> 00:40:01,916
�Cause psychologically, she might think
that you were being unfaithful to her.
520
00:40:02,614 --> 00:40:04,557
�Cause you know how a woman's
mind works.
521
00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:14,734
I never thought of that, Rodders.
You�re right. Good thinking.
522
00:40:16,613 --> 00:40:18,815
Well, come on, onwards and upwards.
523
00:40:21,668 --> 00:40:24,449
Don�t you say nothing to nobody about this,
alright?
524
00:40:24,484 --> 00:40:26,480
Of course not.
525
00:40:29,013 --> 00:40:32,951
Thank you, Sid,
that was horrible as usual.
526
00:40:33,147 --> 00:40:34,530
Cheers, Del.
527
00:40:37,256 --> 00:40:41,532
- Sid. Del's having a vasectomy.
- A vasectomy?
528
00:40:43,449 --> 00:40:46,185
Del Boy's having a vasectomy.
529
00:40:56,118 --> 00:41:00,505
- The doctor will be with you in a moment.
- Thank you, nurse.
530
00:41:17,209 --> 00:41:20,949
- Mr Trotter.
- Doctor Singh.
531
00:41:21,327 --> 00:41:23,672
Listen, about that paint I sold you
for your surgery.
532
00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:27,050
Oh, let's not worry about that,
I have work to do.
533
00:41:32,328 --> 00:41:40,679
- Not nervous are you?
- Just a tad you know. I mean, this is my first time.
534
00:41:41,307 --> 00:41:42,980
Mine too!
535
00:41:50,499 --> 00:42:01,860
- My, my, my! You are a big man, Mr Trotter.
- Oh, thank you doctor.
536
00:42:03,590 --> 00:42:05,712
You should go on a diet.
537
00:42:08,724 --> 00:42:11,413
I always say that,
just to relax the patient.
538
00:42:11,448 --> 00:42:16,560
Yeah, I've got to remember that one
next time I have some bloke's vitals in me hands.
539
00:42:18,216 --> 00:42:21,011
I'll have to give you a small injection
just to numb the area.
540
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,970
Alright, thank you.
541
00:42:25,715 --> 00:42:27,603
This might sting a bit.
542
00:42:37,408 --> 00:42:39,310
What's wrong?
543
00:42:43,979 --> 00:42:47,673
It�s alright, sweetheart! Just...
I got a touch of cramp.
544
00:42:50,597 --> 00:42:56,322
Tell me Raquel.
What do you think about this vasectomy idea?
545
00:42:56,682 --> 00:42:58,140
I don't mind, honest.
546
00:42:58,175 --> 00:43:00,955
Alright, Raquel, you win!
I won't have it done.
547
00:43:04,925 --> 00:43:10,213
So what finally put you off having a vasectomy then?
Didn�t have the balls?
548
00:43:11,796 --> 00:43:19,309
No, it wasn�t that. Look, I wasn't frightened!
It was a medical reason.
549
00:43:20,238 --> 00:43:22,224
I kept thinking about them tadpoles.
550
00:43:23,094 --> 00:43:26,571
- What about 'em?
- Well... where do they go?
551
00:43:27,181 --> 00:43:28,571
What d'you mean?
552
00:43:28,772 --> 00:43:33,349
Well when you have the operation
it stops 'em from going�
553
00:43:36,913 --> 00:43:40,633
well, taking their normal route.
So where do they go?
554
00:43:41,574 --> 00:43:44,816
What, you worried about 'em hanging round
on street corners?
555
00:43:46,642 --> 00:43:49,862
All I'm saying is
they've gotta go somewhere.
556
00:43:50,395 --> 00:43:54,231
It got to such a point I thought
I'd be frightened to sneeze.
557
00:44:03,884 --> 00:44:08,827
- Caught you at last, Mr Trotter.
- Doctor Singh, how nice to see you again.
558
00:44:09,091 --> 00:44:11,392
Have you seen my surgery recently?
559
00:44:13,195 --> 00:44:16,237
That paint you sold me
is peeling off in great chunks.
560
00:44:16,272 --> 00:44:21,397
It's a medical practice, Mr Trotter,
and it looks as if my walls have got scabies!
561
00:44:21,734 --> 00:44:23,578
Patients are leaving me.
562
00:44:24,145 --> 00:44:27,518
The thing is, Dr Singh, we didn't realise
until some time after
563
00:44:27,553 --> 00:44:31,940
that the paint was ever so slightly out of date,
did we, Rodney?
564
00:44:32,110 --> 00:44:38,587
No. We spotted a tin and we noticed
it should have been used by June 1983.
565
00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:41,770
I want something done
about it and fast!
566
00:44:41,948 --> 00:44:44,248
Yes of course, Doctor Singh.
I will send someone
567
00:44:44,283 --> 00:44:48,154
from my painting and decorating department round
to see you first thing in the morning.
568
00:44:48,405 --> 00:44:51,747
If you don't Mr Trotter,
I'll be back!
569
00:44:53,908 --> 00:44:58,426
Yes, thank you, Doctor Singh.
I�m missing you already...
570
00:44:59,299 --> 00:45:01,777
'I'll be back'! He always says that.
571
00:45:02,273 --> 00:45:06,592
Do you know what his nickname is?
The Turbanator.
572
00:45:08,091 --> 00:45:11,370
- Turban-ator.
- I don't believe you sometimes!
573
00:45:11,603 --> 00:45:16,445
Doctor Singh is an honest, law-abiding man.
You knew that paint was iffy.
574
00:45:16,787 --> 00:45:20,560
I�m supposed to be some sort
of paint expert now, am I?
575
00:45:22,143 --> 00:45:25,368
Don't give me all that rubbish about him
being a law-abiding citizen!
576
00:45:25,403 --> 00:45:29,130
I mean look at him now,
he�s riding that bike without a crash helmet.
577
00:45:29,346 --> 00:45:34,509
He's a Sikh!
Under the law Sikhs are excused crashed hats!
578
00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:37,182
How's he gonna fit
a helmet over that turban?
579
00:45:37,956 --> 00:45:39,882
I never thought of that.
580
00:45:39,917 --> 00:45:43,805
I suppose that's why you never see
a Sikh astronaut, innit?
581
00:45:44,450 --> 00:45:46,034
More than likely, Del.
582
00:45:54,091 --> 00:45:58,140
I am not wearing it, alright?
It's half past five and that's my going home time!
583
00:45:58,307 --> 00:46:00,876
Rodney, opportunities don't stop
presenting themselves
584
00:46:00,911 --> 00:46:03,410
because Cassandra has got the sprouts on!
585
00:46:03,769 --> 00:46:06,335
It�s bloody stupid,
and I'm not doing it, alright?
586
00:46:06,519 --> 00:46:10,103
Rodney, there are millions of Sikhs
out there riding motor cycles
587
00:46:10,138 --> 00:46:12,806
that are going completely unprotected.
588
00:46:19,194 --> 00:46:21,759
And this is going to solve their problem.
589
00:46:22,181 --> 00:46:25,859
Allow me to introduce my new company,
TCT!
590
00:46:26,026 --> 00:46:29,735
- TCT?
- Yes, Trotters Crash Turbans.
591
00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:34,380
This is our opportunity
to do something for our fellow men, Rodney.
592
00:46:34,550 --> 00:46:39,076
It is also an opportunity for you to get rid of them
horse-riding crash-helmets you got lumbered with.
593
00:46:39,305 --> 00:46:43,898
- Hang about, this is at the prototype, innit?
- It is not a prototype!
594
00:46:44,189 --> 00:46:48,280
It is a show-jumping helmet
with one of Raquel's old scarves glued on top!
595
00:46:48,315 --> 00:46:51,945
That is because Raquel is
100% behind this project!
596
00:46:51,980 --> 00:46:57,564
She said to me, 'Del Boy, you can anything you want,
because I want to do my bit for mankind'.
597
00:46:58,522 --> 00:47:07,766
- Look! Look! I mean... Look!
- I think you look rather dashing.
598
00:47:07,801 --> 00:47:11,645
I look like a human-cannonball
who's just crashed into a washing line.
599
00:47:11,889 --> 00:47:16,500
God, I hate vanity!
You take my word for it, Rodney.
600
00:47:16,535 --> 00:47:19,037
Once you take this over
to Wembley and Southall
601
00:47:19,072 --> 00:47:22,800
and show the Sikh community this
in all its glory...
602
00:47:22,835 --> 00:47:25,793
- Take it over and show it to them?
- Yes, of course!
603
00:47:25,828 --> 00:47:27,591
�Cause then we�ll sell them by the thousands.
604
00:47:27,626 --> 00:47:31,106
We can then export them to
Australia, America, the Far East.
605
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:32,960
You expect me to go and sell this?
606
00:47:32,995 --> 00:47:36,010
Well, you are my new director
of sales, aren't you?
607
00:47:36,045 --> 00:47:38,332
They'll smash my head in!
608
00:47:39,122 --> 00:47:42,238
Of course they won't,
they're peaceful loving people.
609
00:47:42,273 --> 00:47:46,532
Anyway even if they do,
you'll be wearing a Trotter Crash Turban!
610
00:47:46,890 --> 00:47:50,173
A perfect opportunity to prove
how effective it is!
611
00:47:51,364 --> 00:47:52,958
You know it makes sense.
612
00:47:53,182 --> 00:47:56,780
All I know is I am not stepping out of that
front door dressed like this!
613
00:47:56,968 --> 00:47:59,112
- Alright, Rodney?
- Hi, Raquel.
614
00:47:59,147 --> 00:48:01,390
- During the war.
- Will you shut up?
615
00:48:01,704 --> 00:48:05,746
Can't you see that Rodney and I
are in the middle of a very important board meeting?
616
00:48:05,781 --> 00:48:09,149
We don�t wanna hear stories
about U-Boats and giant squids!
617
00:48:09,184 --> 00:48:12,965
I was just gonna say that during the war
I spent some time in India
618
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,716
and I got to know a little about the Sikh religion.
619
00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:20,550
What I discovered was,
that to a Sikh a turban has mystical powers
620
00:48:20,585 --> 00:48:22,802
which are supposed to enter the body.
621
00:48:22,976 --> 00:48:25,810
In other words it has to be
in contact with the head.
622
00:48:25,845 --> 00:48:31,102
Yeah, see? And this ain't in contact with the head
�cause there's a bloody horse riding helmet in between!
623
00:48:31,354 --> 00:48:34,301
Alright, I haven�t finalized the design yet,
have I?
624
00:48:34,336 --> 00:48:38,117
What I�ll do is, we�ll just get a little piece, like this
and we�ll stuff it up inside there,
625
00:48:38,152 --> 00:48:41,459
so it is in contact with the head! Yeah?
Raquel, what do you think?
626
00:48:41,494 --> 00:48:44,499
I can't see it catching on, Del.
I mean, what would you wear with it?
627
00:48:44,679 --> 00:48:46,451
Is that my scarf?
628
00:48:46,782 --> 00:48:48,787
Don't worry, I�ll buy you another one.
629
00:48:48,822 --> 00:48:52,572
Will you please understand, Raquel,
this is not a fashion statement.
630
00:48:52,767 --> 00:48:54,487
I guessed that, Derek.
I guessed that!
631
00:48:54,522 --> 00:48:56,156
No, it is a safety device.
632
00:48:56,191 --> 00:48:59,869
Del, people would rather be critically injured
than wear this!
633
00:49:00,620 --> 00:49:03,717
Answer that will you?
Look, mark my words.
634
00:49:03,752 --> 00:49:06,517
Three months from now
you'll be seeing this on Tomorrow's World.
635
00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:08,597
More like Wayne's World.
636
00:49:09,068 --> 00:49:11,307
I am not going on Tomorrow's World
dressed like this.
637
00:49:11,342 --> 00:49:13,854
Rodney, it's Cassandra's bank for you.
638
00:49:14,244 --> 00:49:17,141
She's probably got another late meeting.
Come on, giss it here.
639
00:49:17,176 --> 00:49:19,742
Raquel, alright.
Now listen to me.
640
00:49:19,777 --> 00:49:22,725
They laughed when they invented
the air bag, didn�t they?
641
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,795
No they didn�t, they were a good invention.
642
00:49:24,830 --> 00:49:28,385
Alright, tell me one invention
that they did laugh at when it was first seen.
643
00:49:28,420 --> 00:49:33,170
- That!
- Yeah, I'm on my way, thank you.
644
00:49:34,882 --> 00:49:36,462
What's up, Rodders?
645
00:49:37,967 --> 00:49:42,617
They�ve rushed Cassandra to hospital.
She's had a miscarriage.
646
00:49:46,208 --> 00:49:48,465
Alright, Rodders. Alright, mate.
647
00:49:48,943 --> 00:49:52,255
Come on, calm down, I�m with you.
Stay here, stay here.
648
00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:55,479
Excuse me, can you tell me which ward
Mrs Trotter is in please?
649
00:49:55,749 --> 00:49:57,743
- Are you Mr Trotter?
- Yes, I am.
650
00:49:57,778 --> 00:49:59,650
- Come this way please.
- Yes, OK.
651
00:50:01,201 --> 00:50:02,915
Alright, Rodney. Come on, this way.
652
00:50:04,067 --> 00:50:07,216
Oi! Are you having a laugh with me,
or something?
653
00:50:07,413 --> 00:50:10,007
I�ve been here nearly 20 minutes already,
654
00:50:10,042 --> 00:50:16,941
and the only person in this poxy hospital
who�s spoken to me, is this old cow!
655
00:50:16,976 --> 00:50:19,762
I�m sorry sir, but we�re very busy.
656
00:50:19,797 --> 00:50:21,609
This way please.
657
00:50:25,165 --> 00:50:28,145
Could you put these on, please.
It's just a precaution.
658
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:38,957
Mrs Trotter is in a single room, number 46,
down there on the right.
659
00:50:39,131 --> 00:50:43,169
She is naturally still very upset
and we don't want her being excited in any way.
660
00:50:43,366 --> 00:50:44,799
Of course not, thank you.
661
00:50:50,023 --> 00:50:51,706
Can I put one of them on, please?
662
00:50:51,978 --> 00:50:54,388
- Who are you?
- I'm her husband.
663
00:50:54,423 --> 00:50:58,068
- Who the hell's that then?
- He�s my brother.
664
00:51:05,234 --> 00:51:06,742
Del?
665
00:51:09,477 --> 00:51:11,779
What the bloody hell
am I going to say to her?
666
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:17,569
Don't worry, Rodney.
You'll say something, it'll just come to you.
667
00:51:19,717 --> 00:51:25,490
Just listen to me, Rodney,
at this pacific moment in time,
668
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:31,464
Cassandra she don't need doom and gloom.
She needs you to be optimistic.
669
00:51:31,694 --> 00:51:34,157
Oh yeah, I feel optimistic right now,
don't I?
670
00:51:34,329 --> 00:51:36,833
I don't care how you feel,
you just gotta be!
671
00:51:36,868 --> 00:51:39,555
- You don�t care how I feel?
- No.
672
00:51:39,851 --> 00:51:43,730
You can do your weeping and crying
in the van on the way home!
673
00:51:43,903 --> 00:51:47,391
Right now you've got to be a rock
for Cassandra.
674
00:51:48,850 --> 00:51:51,422
I want you to go in there
and I want you to talk to her.
675
00:51:51,457 --> 00:51:55,248
Talk to her about the future, not the past
or the present, but about the future.
676
00:51:55,997 --> 00:52:03,041
Because you two, you two,
you got some really good times to come.
677
00:52:04,289 --> 00:52:07,013
It is strange how I find that
hard to believe right now.
678
00:52:07,048 --> 00:52:10,724
Well, you got to believe it.
Because it's true.
679
00:52:11,662 --> 00:52:16,812
Right now Cassandra needs your strength.
680
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:22,096
Now, you go in there,
and I don�t want no sobbing, no booing.
681
00:52:23,274 --> 00:52:28,944
You just give her comfort
and understanding. Alright?
682
00:52:31,077 --> 00:52:33,933
- Right.
- Good boy.
683
00:52:34,684 --> 00:52:37,476
You know it makes sense, eh?
684
00:53:05,032 --> 00:53:07,284
I'm sorry, Rodney!
685
00:53:24,728 --> 00:53:28,399
What are you saying sorry for?
Don't be silly.
686
00:53:29,473 --> 00:53:35,241
- I let you down! I let everyone down!
- Of course you haven�t!
687
00:53:37,898 --> 00:53:44,192
It happens, Cass, it just happens.
688
00:53:45,305 --> 00:53:47,566
There was nothing you or I could have done.
689
00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:54,671
You mustn�t blame yourself, sweetheart.
You haven�t let anybody down.
690
00:53:55,144 --> 00:54:01,505
Has she, Rodney?
Tell her, this time next year, go on.
691
00:54:02,232 --> 00:54:03,664
Yeah I will.
692
00:54:12,635 --> 00:54:17,768
I think maybe this might be a good time
for us to be on our own to discuss a few things.
693
00:54:19,324 --> 00:54:21,429
Yeah, I think you're right, bruv.
694
00:54:23,751 --> 00:54:28,672
Cassandra, me and Rodney
are going outside for a little chat.
695
00:54:30,846 --> 00:54:35,873
No, I mean me and Cassandra.
We be on our own.
696
00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:40,494
Yeah, alright. OK.
697
00:54:43,485 --> 00:54:46,530
I'll see you later, Cassandra.
698
00:54:47,341 --> 00:54:50,124
I�ll see you outside, Rodney.
699
00:55:02,789 --> 00:55:04,987
I lost our baby.
700
00:55:06,150 --> 00:55:08,678
I can't leave you alone
with anything, can I?
701
00:55:13,072 --> 00:55:17,881
We're gonna get over this, Cass,
and we are going to win.
702
00:55:19,439 --> 00:55:27,007
D'you know why?
�Cause we�re strong. We are very very strong.
703
00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:32,865
Things are gonna get better and better
and better for us.
704
00:55:34,684 --> 00:55:38,598
- I love you, Rodney.
- I love you, Cass.
705
00:55:43,268 --> 00:55:45,238
I love you so much.
706
00:55:48,943 --> 00:55:52,099
It sort of burnt me right across
the forehead here.
707
00:55:52,329 --> 00:55:55,085
See, the bloke who sold it to me
said it was a hair-dryer,
708
00:55:55,273 --> 00:55:59,014
it turns out to be an electric paint-stripper.
709
00:55:59,518 --> 00:56:01,931
If you like to come with me, Mr Fisher.
710
00:56:03,743 --> 00:56:06,806
Oi! Why's he getting seen before me?
711
00:56:07,138 --> 00:56:11,031
I don't know why people bother to pay
their national health stamps.
712
00:56:11,198 --> 00:56:14,669
�Cause if I'd ever had a job
I wouldn't have paid for 'em.
713
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,751
Would you please keep your voice down?
714
00:56:18,073 --> 00:56:23,074
No. It's a free country
and I'll shout as much as I bloody well like!
715
00:56:23,410 --> 00:56:28,232
You're looking after all these bleeding malingerers here,
where I should be top of your list.
716
00:56:28,429 --> 00:56:35,484
Now, I took some pills earlier on today,
now, I've no idea what they were �cause I was drunk.
717
00:56:35,708 --> 00:56:38,557
Now they're starting to upset me a little bit!
718
00:56:38,815 --> 00:56:43,036
You nurses, you�re always whinging
about low wages.
719
00:56:43,221 --> 00:56:49,245
You don't deserve anything better.
Do you hear that? You're all sodding useless.
720
00:56:49,447 --> 00:56:50,989
- Excuse me, sir.
- What?
721
00:57:02,229 --> 00:57:04,027
Feeling better sir?
722
00:57:05,782 --> 00:57:08,356
Yes, thank you, doctor.
723
00:57:09,329 --> 00:57:12,483
All part of the service. Bonjour.
724
00:57:14,913 --> 00:57:18,080
I bet you wish you'd gone private now,
don't you?
725
00:57:28,337 --> 00:57:32,204
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