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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,631
[marching band plays]
2
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:12,137
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle, USMC.
3
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Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,648
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,749
Sergeant, I don't think you can make it.
It's kind of short.
6
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,335
Oh, yeah? Watch this, Pyle.
7
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I'll show you how it's done.
This is the way an expert does it.
8
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,924
First, you cut it hard, see?
9
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,388
[tires squeal]
10
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,558
And exactly the right moment,
you cut it hard the other way.
11
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,060
- [tires squeak, thud]
- Uh-oh.
12
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,855
- There we are, Pyle.
- Sergeant, you hit the car ahead of us.
13
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:07,526
- What? I what?
- You hit the car ahead of us. I heard it.
14
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,696
- Your bumper must have got caught on his.
- I didn't hear anything.
15
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,282
You was turned around,
looking in the back. That's probably...
16
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,909
You must be out of your head, Pyle!
I never even touched him.
17
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,082
- Is there any damage, Sergeant?
- No, nothing.
18
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I told you I never touched him.
Come on, let's go, Pyle.
19
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,087
- Well, wait a minute, Sergeant.
- What's the matter?
20
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,173
- There's a scratch here.
- Oh, yeah?
21
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,884
- Where? I didn't see anything.
- Right here.
22
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,804
If you lean over this way,
you can see it from this angle.
23
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,931
Oh, yeah.
24
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,726
But, Sergeant, you're not gonna
just leave, are you?
25
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:44,229
- Well, why not?
- Well, you damaged this fella's car.
26
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It was an accident, but it was your fault.
27
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Well, what do you expect me
to do about it?
28
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If the guy was here,
I'd tell him I'm sorry,
29
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but it's after six, Pyle,
and I got a date with Bunny for dinner.
30
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:58,201
But if you leave the scene of an accident,
Sergeant, that's hit and run.
31
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:01,622
Hit and run?! It's a little scratch!
32
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,374
You take a cloth and some polish
and just rub it out.
33
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,711
Uh-uh, Sergeant, not with this.
To really fix this up,
34
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,464
you've got to sand the paint off,
and then cover it with primer,
35
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,592
and then blend some new paint in.
It's at least a $10 job.
36
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,427
$10?!
37
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,096
Uh-huh, but you've got insurance.
That ought to cover it.
38
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I ain't gonna put in a claim for something
like that. They'll raise my rates!
39
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,269
Look, I gotta go, Pyle. I'm going.
40
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,313
- All right, Sergeant.
- Yeah.
41
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,363
- What are you doing, Pyle?
- Nothing, Sergeant. Just standing here.
42
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,740
- I thought you were going to a movie.
- Well, I am,
43
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,409
but I thought I'd wait on the fella
that owns this car to come back.
44
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:43,330
You mean you're gonna wait for him and
tell him I put that scratch on his fender?
45
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:47,000
Well, don't worry, Sergeant. I'll take the
blame since I was the one directing you.
46
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,754
But it's only fair that I tell him that
you was the one behind the wheel.
47
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,632
It's the only honorable thing to do,
Sergeant. Don't you agree?
48
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,926
If more people would own up
to their mistakes,
49
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:59,930
- there wouldn't be any need to...
- Okay, okay, I'll write the guy a note.
50
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,350
Oh, good, Sergeant! I just know
you're gonna feel better about this!
51
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,727
It's just like Grandma Pyle
used to always say,
52
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,605
"If my conscience ain't right,
I'm up half the night.
53
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,400
But if my conscience is clean,
I sleep till 8:15."
54
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,528
Yeah, yeah. I put down my name
and my phone number
55
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,698
and I told him I'd pay for the damage.
Here, put this on the guy's window.
56
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,201
I sure will, Sergeant. I just know
you're gonna be happy about this.
57
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,870
"If my conscience ain't right,
I'm up half the night.
58
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,456
If my conscience is clean,
I sleep till 8:15."
59
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,334
Company B, Sergeant Carter here.
60
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,712
Who? Whipple?
61
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,672
Well, what can I do for you, Mr...
62
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:37,801
Oh! Oh, yeah, my note. Yeah, that was me.
63
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,096
Well, thank you very much.
64
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:47,644
Sure, I know, most guys would,
but, uh, I just ain't built that way.
65
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,232
Right. There's still some of us good guys
left in the world. [chuckles]
66
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,359
Well, what's it gonna cost me,
Mr. Whipple?
67
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,237
Estimates?
68
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,740
What do you need estimates for?
It was just a...
69
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,032
What?
70
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,285
What?!
71
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,912
$235?!
72
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,165
For what? It was just a scratch!
73
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,541
Huh?
74
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,585
What extensive damage?!
75
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,963
Look, mister, I don't know what your
racket is, but you got the wrong guy.
76
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:18,008
I ain't about to pay you 235 clams!
77
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,885
Well, do anything you like!
78
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,555
Go-Olly, Sergeant.
I find that hard to believe.
79
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:26,266
Of course you do, Pyle.
As far as you're concerned,
80
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,019
the whole world's
one big Mother Goose story.
81
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,063
- I sure am sorry, Sergeant.
- Oh, sure you're sorry.
82
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,650
You're always sorry. But that don't
keep you from being stupid.
83
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,569
Well, are you gonna have to pay him?
84
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,821
Oh, no, Pyle. I ain't stupid.
85
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,824
But some other dummy
probably would've paid him,
86
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,827
and it all would have been made possible
by you, Pyle.
87
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:49,581
You, Mr. Nice Guy.
88
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:53,418
Excuse me.
I'm looking for a Sergeant Carter.
89
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,921
Could you tell me where I might find him?
90
00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,881
Yeah, I'm Carter. What can I do for you?
91
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,383
Oh, really?
92
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,011
You're Sergeant Carter, hm?
93
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,472
Well, I'm Harry Whipple.
94
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,892
Oh. So, you're Whipple, huh?
95
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:13,522
Yes, and I'd like to ask you one question,
Sergeant.
96
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,398
Are you gonna pay me or not?
97
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,068
Come on, you gotta be kidding!
98
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,862
You know, you got a lot of guts
coming out here like this.
99
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,532
- I told you on the phone...
- You mean you refuse to pay?
100
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,200
Because I can take steps.
101
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,245
I was gonna give you one chance
to change your mind before I...
102
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,289
Well, I ain't changing my mind,
get that straight!
103
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:34,417
You got a nice little racket going
for you, but it won't work with me!
104
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,128
Now look, Sergeant,
I'm sure you don't want any trouble,
105
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,714
and I don't like making trouble
for a serviceman,
106
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,967
but I warn you, I will not hesitate...
107
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,470
Are you trying to scare me?
Because if you are, forget it!
108
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,764
I put one little scratch on your car,
109
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,016
a little scratch about that big,
and you know it!
110
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,561
I only know two things, Sergeant.
111
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,604
I got a note from you
112
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,690
and a badly smashed fender!
113
00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:01,027
- What badly smashed?! I barely touched it!
- Really?
114
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,948
Would you like to step outside
and take a look at my car?
115
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,325
Yeah! Yeah, I'd like to see it!
116
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:11,955
- Come on, show me your $235 fender!
- Come on.
117
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,086
Pyle, come with me.
I wanna show you something.
118
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,379
Yes, sir.
119
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:25,427
All right, here it is, Sergeant.
Do you call that a scratch?
120
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,098
Holy smoke! Who did that?!
121
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,350
- You did!
- I didn't!
122
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,936
- Then who did?
- I don't know, but it wasn't me!
123
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,814
Look, would you please keep your voice
down? My wife is in there.
124
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,482
- Huh?
- Come on, Harry!
125
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,569
- How long we gonna fool around here?
- As long as it takes.
126
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,405
- I gotta get to the beauty parlor!
- You're telling me?
127
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:49,117
Listen to Steve Stunning.
At least I can get help.
128
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,161
Dearest, do me a favor.
129
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,496
Stay out of this and keep your mouth shut.
130
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,915
Gladly!
131
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:59,836
Go-Olly! That's the worst-looking fender
I ever did see.
132
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,882
And I didn't do it.
Pyle, tell him what happened yesterday.
133
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:07,469
- From the very beginning?
- That's right, tell him the whole thing.
134
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:10,347
Well, I was going into town
to see a movie.
135
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,015
It was supposed to be a real good one.
136
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,684
It was about this doctor
experimenting with dead people.
137
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,730
Oh, no, Pyle, not all that!
Just tell him about the accident!
138
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:22,525
Yes, sir. Well, anyway, Sergeant Carter
was parking the car and...
139
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,111
And his car hit my fender, right?
140
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,114
- Well, yes, sir, it did.
- [Whipple] A-ha! You see?
141
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,283
- He's a witness, Carter!
- No, no.
142
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,578
Uh, Pyle, tell him what happened exactly.
143
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,748
Well, I was trying to, Sergeant,
and he just didn't let me finish.
144
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:40,210
Anyway, Sergeant Carter hit your fender,
but he never did all of this.
145
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,878
He just made a little bitty scratch.
146
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,215
Okay, Whipple, there you are!
That proves it!
147
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,384
That doesn't prove a thing.
He's in your outfit.
148
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,804
- He's not gonna go against his sergeant.
- Will you come on, Harry?
149
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,306
- It's getting hot in here!
- So fan yourself.
150
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,184
- I haven't got a fan.
- Use your lip!
151
00:07:56,184 --> 00:08:00,271
Carter, if you think that I'm gonna
believe his phony story...
152
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,358
- Are you saying Pyle's lying?
- That's right, he's lying!
153
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,070
Shame, shame, shame! I am not!
154
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:10,156
If you wanna know the truth, it was Pyle
that talked me into leaving that note.
155
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,741
- Right, Pyle?
- That's right.
156
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,452
Oh, really? That's the way it is, huh?
157
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,538
You were gonna run off
without leaving anything.
158
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,498
That's hit and run, Carter!
159
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,334
No! It just wasn't worth bothering about.
160
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:25,797
I only know two things. I got a note
from you and a badly smashed car.
161
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:30,135
Now, I ask you for the last time,
are you going to pay me for it or not?!
162
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,846
And I'm telling you for the last time, no!
163
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:37,851
Now, my advice is to get in your car
and get out of here before I call the MPs!
164
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,854
All right, Sergeant. All right, I'm going.
165
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,817
But you'll hear from me!
You're in plenty of trouble, understand?
166
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,194
Plenty of trouble!
167
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,321
- [knock at door]
- [Gray] Come in.
168
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,951
Sergeant Carter reporting as ordered, sir.
169
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,079
- At ease.
- I, uh, hope you don't mind, sir,
170
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,582
but I brought Private Pyle along
171
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:04,461
just in case we need him
for, uh, some collaboration.
172
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,588
Uh, yes. Uh...
173
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:09,299
This is Sergeant Carter and Private Pyle.
174
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,093
You know one of these gentlemen,
I believe, Mr. Whipple.
175
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,179
- Yes, sir.
- Howdy.
176
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,848
These other gentlemen
are Mr. Goodbody, his attorney,
177
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,809
and Mr. Marshall, his insurance agent.
178
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,895
Pleased to meet you.
179
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,815
You know what this is about, I'm sure.
The accident with Mr. Whipple's car?
180
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,151
- Yes, sir.
- Now, I've seen the car
181
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,111
and the note that you left,
Sergeant Carter.
182
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:34,324
What I don't understand is why you refuse
to pay for the smashed fender.
183
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,576
Well, it's very simple, Colonel.
184
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,871
- I didn't do it.
- Excuse me, Colonel.
185
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,541
I think Private Pyle
could clear this all up for us.
186
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,169
Exactly, Mr. Whipple.
187
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,672
Now, with the Colonel's permission, sir,
I shall proceed to cross examine
188
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,718
- Private Pyle here.
- Uh, that won't be necessary, Sergeant.
189
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,722
Colonel, if you don't mind, I'd like to
ask Private Pyle a few questions.
190
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,767
Well, this isn't a court of law,
Mr. Goodbody.
191
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,229
Oh, no, sir.
It's perfectly all right with me, sir.
192
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:08,817
And I'm sure it's perfectly all right
with my witness here, right, Pyle?
193
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,528
- Yes, sir.
- As a matter of fact, Colonel,
194
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,781
the private was a bit reluctant to speak
in front of his sergeant
195
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,909
when I talked to the both of them,
but perhaps here in your office...
196
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:21,121
Please, Harry, let me handle this now.
197
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:26,209
Private Pyle, as I understand it,
you witnessed the accident.
198
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,797
Yes, sir. See, I was going into town
to see this movie,
199
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,091
and Sergeant Carter said he'd be
kind enough to take...
200
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,552
Just tell us about the accident, please.
201
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,138
[Goodbody] Now, you were in the car?
202
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:42,642
Yes, sir, I was. I was directing him
into this awful short space.
203
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:46,354
"Awful short space." Huh.
204
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:51,401
Tell us what else happened in this
"awful short space" as you described.
205
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,736
Well, there's not really much to tell.
206
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:57,657
We was parking
and our car hit the other car.
207
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,826
To tell you the truth, Colonel,
I didn't even know...
208
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,620
Please, Sergeant.
Private Pyle is answering the questions.
209
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,541
Yes, sir. Go right ahead, Pyle.
210
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:11,129
Private Pyle, you say that
Sergeant Carter's car
211
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,214
definitely hit Mr. Whipple's car?
212
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,926
Oh, sure, there's no doubt about it.
I even heard it.
213
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:20,263
- You say you heard it?
- Yes, I not only heard it, but I felt it.
214
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,682
- But it wasn't...
- You felt it? How?
215
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:27,437
Well, you know,
a nice, new car like that,
216
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,315
it... kind of gave me a sickening feeling.
217
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,983
A sickening feeling?
218
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:35,153
Well, you know how it is
when your car hits something.
219
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,405
It kind of makes you sick right here.
220
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,073
I see.
221
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,826
Thank you, Colonel. I rest my case.
222
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,871
- Colonel, it was just a scratch.
- Sergeant...
223
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,373
[Gray] I'm in a very difficult position
here.
224
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,460
It's Sergeant Carter's word
against the word of this good civilian.
225
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,005
But from all the evidence I've heard,
I think there's only one thing
226
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,424
for the sergeant to do, and that's pay up.
227
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,636
- [Carter gasps]
- And that's what I want you to do.
228
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,013
- That will be all, men.
- Yes, sir.
229
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,557
Thank you, sir. Come on, Pyle.
230
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,269
It was just a little scratch.
231
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,021
A tiny scratch.
232
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,820
Sergeant Carter?
233
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,035
Sergeant Carter?
234
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:30,291
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about
what happened in the colonel's office.
235
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,963
All I did was tell the truth,
but they just took it wrong.
236
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,716
They put a different meaning
to every single thing I said.
237
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:42,679
- Okay, Pyle.
- As much as I hate to say so,
238
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,390
I think that Mr. Whipple
might be dishonest.
239
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,725
He could've done
all that damage to his car
240
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,727
and then tried to put all the blame
on you.
241
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,605
But don't you worry about it, Sergeant.
242
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,566
I'm going to get to the bottom of this
if it's the last thing I do.
243
00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:00,321
Well... bye, Sergeant.
244
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,059
[doorbell buzzes]
245
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,481
- Yes?
- Excuse me, Ms. Whipple,
246
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,319
uh, my name is Pyle, Gomer Pyle.
I saw you out at the base yesterday.
247
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,654
Yes, yes, I remember. What do you want?
248
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,656
Well, is your husband at home?
249
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,992
- No, he's at work. Goodbye.
- Uh, Ms. Whipple?
250
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,120
See, the reason I wanted to see him
was to talk about that accident
251
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,331
my sergeant and I had
with Mr. Whipple's car.
252
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,250
I wouldn't know anything about that.
You'll have to talk to him.
253
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,836
And I'm getting dressed to go out
shopping and I'm in a hurry.
254
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,715
Oh, I see. Well, could you tell me
where I could get in touch with him?
255
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,217
I told you, I don't have any time to talk.
Goodbye!
256
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,345
- But Ms. Whipple...
- Goodbye!
257
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,395
[doorbell buzzes]
258
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:18,149
Are you still here? I told you,
I don't have any time to talk!
259
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:21,235
- Well, all I wanted was just to ask if...
- And I told you to get out of here.
260
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,405
Now, will you stop bothering me
or I'll call the police!
261
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,074
But, ma'am, I...
262
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,070
[engine starts]
263
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,917
[metal scrapes]
264
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,710
[groans]
265
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,258
[metal scrapes]
266
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,145
[tires screech and metal scrapes]
267
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,855
[groans]
268
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,524
[metal scrape and tires screech]
269
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,657
- Ma'am?
- [gasps]
270
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,702
- Where did you come from?
- Well, from just down the street.
271
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,871
I was just wondering
if I could talk to you for a minute.
272
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:58,749
I told you, I haven't got any time. Now,
get away, just get away from the car!
273
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,919
All I wanna do is to ask you
a couple of questions, ma'am.
274
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,755
Do you always drive like that?
275
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,135
- What do you mean?
- Well, I seen you hit that tree
276
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,888
and it just kind of gave me a thought.
277
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,056
Were you driving this car
day before yesterday?
278
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,852
I told you to quit bothering me!
Why can't you leave me alone?
279
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:22,565
Get off this property this minute!
I'm gonna call the police!
280
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,067
Well, all right, ma'am,
if that's what you'd like to do.
281
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,903
Go away!
282
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,367
You did it, didn't you, ma'am?
I mean, smashed that fender.
283
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,582
So when it happened, I panicked.
I just panicked!
284
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,376
- But why?
- It's a brand-new car.
285
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,546
The price sticker
is still on the back window.
286
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,382
I still don't think that's any reason
you can't tell your husband.
287
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,092
He'd never hear me.
288
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:53,513
He'd take one look at the fender
and then he'd start screaming at me!
289
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,265
You mean this is the first accident
you've ever had?
290
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,935
I've only been driving for two days.
291
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:04,148
For ten years, we argued about me
getting a license, and I finally won.
292
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,736
And the first thing I did
was prove he was right.
293
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,572
Well, it seems to me that anybody
that's been driving that short a time
294
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,324
is entitled to one mistake.
295
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:17,036
Don't you understand?
Our life is one long argument!
296
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,623
The only reason I was crying
is because this is the first time
297
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,917
Harry has been a hundred percent right
298
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,253
and he's never gonna let me forget it.
299
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,922
Well, I sure am sorry, Ms. Whipple.
300
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:31,217
Oh, sorry, sure.
Everybody is always sorry.
301
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,220
Oh, why did you have to interfere
in my life?
302
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,765
Well, I didn't mean to interfere,
but, well, my sergeant's innocent
303
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:41,060
and he's being made to take the blame
for something he didn't do.
304
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,312
Oh, I know, I know.
305
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,565
I just feel awful about it.
306
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:50,111
When Harry told me he was going
to the camp to see your colonel,
307
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,196
I tried to stop him,
308
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,199
but he just started screaming again!
309
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,450
Go-Olly.
310
00:17:56,450 --> 00:18:00,079
You just don't know Harry.
He screams! It's terrible.
311
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,623
Yes, ma'am, I know, I've met your husband.
312
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,292
- He's a hollerer all right.
- Yes.
313
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,253
And when he hollers, I can't stand it!
314
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:12,925
Well, excuse me for asking, ma'am, but
what do you usually do when he hollers?
315
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,595
What can I do? I holler right back!
316
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:19,432
Just because a person's a hollerer,
don't mean that he ain't nice.
317
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,809
Take my sergeant, for instance.
He's a hollerer,
318
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,395
but down deep,
he's one of the nicest people I ever met.
319
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,106
Sure, so is Harry.
320
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,359
It's pretty deep,
but basically, he's nice.
321
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:34,488
Well, that's why I think you can stand up
to Mr. Whipple and tell him the truth.
322
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:38,326
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. No, I couldn't.
323
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,454
Maybe you could if you'd let me help you.
324
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,964
Who left this stupid lawn mower
right in the front walk?
325
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,425
Somebody could fall down
and break their neck!
326
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,469
He's home! He's coming in!
327
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,096
Now, look, you go out the back way.
That way, he'll never see you.
328
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,140
- But ma'am...
- Oh, please, don't you understand?
329
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,268
- He'll be in here in a second!
- But, ma'am, I'll just stay right here
330
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,812
and give you moral support,
and that way, you can face up to him.
331
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,231
No, no. No, I can't do it!
Just forget what I said!
332
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,942
I'll get the money
and I'll pay Sergeant Carter back.
333
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:15,321
You just get a hold of yourself. There
ain't no reason for you to get all upset.
334
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,907
Alice! I'm home!
335
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,742
I heard!
336
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,663
I mean, uh... hello, Harry.
337
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,415
What's he doing here?
338
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:30,670
Uh... Harry, uh... you remember Mr. Pyle.
339
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,672
- He's from the...
- Yeah!
340
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,341
- What are you doing here, Pyle?
- Well, I...
341
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,052
Did you bring me a check?
Is that why you're here?
342
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:41,555
No, I just came to straighten out
what really happened to your car.
343
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:45,309
- What?
- Well, you see, the truth is,
344
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,687
Sergeant Carter never did that damage
to your car
345
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,065
and, well, I'd like you to know who did.
346
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,360
What is this?
347
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,904
- Uh... Harry?
- Yeah?
348
00:19:56,904 --> 00:20:00,616
Uh... I... He...
349
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,576
Would you like a martini, Harry?
350
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,705
Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, I would.
351
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,581
Good. I've got some all fixed.
352
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,710
Now, you say Carter didn't wreck my car.
353
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,420
Huh? Well, then, who did?
354
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,880
Well, uh...
355
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,508
Well... Well... the truth is...
356
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,635
Here, Harry, drink this.
357
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,513
Hey, I can't drink all that.
I'll get stoned!
358
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,725
It's all right, Harry. Take it.
I think you better.
359
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,939
All right, Pyle.
You got something to say, spill it.
360
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,858
Well... uh...
361
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,444
I don't think I'm the one
that should tell you this.
362
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,529
I think that the person
who should tell you...
363
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,949
- I did it, Harry.
- Come on, now, Pyle, cut the double-talk.
364
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:45,911
I know Carter did it. He left the note
and then he changed his mind, right?
365
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,081
But I got him dead to rights
and he is gonna pay!
366
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,460
It's my fault, Harry.
I smashed the fender.
367
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,545
I'm the one who wrecked the car.
368
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:58,382
I had the note from Sergeant Carter
and I let him take the blame.
369
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,634
You want some more martini, Harry?
370
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,221
You did it?
371
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,767
Yes, Harry, I did it, and...
372
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,561
and I'm as sorry as I can be.
373
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,064
You wrecked the car
374
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:18,360
and let me think someone else did it?
375
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,491
How could you do such a stupid thing?!
376
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:28,579
I threaten this man Carter, I go out
to the base and talk to the colonel,
377
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:33,751
I get everybody upset,
and you stand there calmly and coolly
378
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:36,212
and tell me you did it!
379
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:41,217
How could you do such a thing like that?
To me?!
380
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,845
It's bad enough you wrecked the car,
381
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,973
then you let me go
and make a jerk out of myself!
382
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:53,562
Don't you think?
Don't you use your brains at all?
383
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,190
I mean, after all, you're a grown woman!
384
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,442
I mean, you should have some sense!
385
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:01,779
And why would you be afraid to tell me?
Hm?
386
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,989
What am I? An ogre? A monster?
387
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,784
A raving beast
that you have to be frightened of?
388
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:10,120
You can tell me anything!
I'm a reasonable person!
389
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:14,041
You don't have to go beating around
the bush, afraid to open up your mouth!
390
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,086
You're right, Harry.
391
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:20,005
I'm your husband. You're my wife.
392
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:23,092
We've been married
for almost 20 years, right?
393
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:27,721
A human being
is allowed to make a mistake.
394
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,807
We're only human.
395
00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:32,226
Everybody makes mistakes.
396
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:36,897
- Even I make mistakes.
- You're right, Harry.
397
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:40,568
You know what our problem is, Alice?
We don't communicate.
398
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,571
But you see?
399
00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,532
Once we talk it out, everything is okay.
400
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,046
It's very decent of you to come here
and straighten this out, Mr. Whipple.
401
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,048
- We all appreciate it.
- Thank you.
402
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:06,927
Of course, I'll take care of all
the damages to the car. It's only fair.
403
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:08,304
Good!
404
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:11,849
Oh, well, excuse me, sir,
but, actually, that ain't completely fair.
405
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,727
After all, Sergeant Carter
did do some of the damage.
406
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,604
Oh, I figure about $10 worth.
407
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,148
Oh, no. That isn't necessary.
408
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:23,027
Well, maybe it ain't necessary, but I just
know Sergeant Carter wouldn't feel right
409
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:26,113
if you had to pay for all of it.
Isn't that right, Sergeant?
410
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,197
Pyle!
411
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:31,619
Well, all right, if you insist.
It is very kind of you.
412
00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:34,580
Yes. It's very good of you, Sergeant.
Why don't you just do that?
413
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,874
Just send Mr. Whipple a check for $10.
414
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:39,793
Well, I'll let you men
get back to your duties. That'll be all.
415
00:23:39,793 --> 00:23:42,171
Uh... Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
416
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:43,839
Come on, Pyle.
417
00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:49,887
- Sergeant, I hope you don't think I...
- Shh.
418
00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:53,474
Well, what is it, Sergeant?
419
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,225
Shh.
420
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:09,907
What is it, Sergeant?
421
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:15,746
Pyle, you knucklehead.
You nitwit. You nincompoop!
422
00:24:15,746 --> 00:24:18,165
Why did you have to
open your mouth in there?
423
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:21,418
I was off the hook completely
and now I'm stuck for ten bucks!
424
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:24,046
Why do you always have to be Mr. Nice Guy?
425
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,632
Couldn't you keep your mouth shut
once in your life?
426
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,842
Don't you ever know
when to leave well enough alone?!
427
00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:31,762
Of all the stupid knuckleheads
I've ever known,
428
00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:34,974
- you are absolutely the worst!
- You're right, Sergeant.
36267
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