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1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,963
[marching band plays]
2
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,845
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,518
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,397
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
5
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,296
"Seattle World's Fair." [chuckles]
6
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,468
"Seattle World's Fair."
7
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,971
Memories, memories.
8
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,519
Hey, Sergeant.
Something wrong with your car?
9
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:04,356
Huh? Oh, no, I'm just giving her a last
cleaning out before saying goodbye.
10
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,233
Pyle...
11
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,778
See this old rubber horse?
12
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,863
Try and imagine it blown up
13
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:17,369
with Bunny laying across it and me
pushing her around San Diego Bay
14
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,037
waving good-bye to the fleet.
15
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,499
Yeah... that's when we were young.
16
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,212
Pyle, look at this basket.
17
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:34,011
Boy, I wish I had a dime for every
picnic lunch Bunny packed in this.
18
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,429
[chuckles]
19
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,390
Get rid of this, will ya, Pyle.
20
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,851
- What is it, Sergeant?
- Never mind, just throw it away.
21
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,437
Sergeant, did I hear you say
22
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,981
you was cleaning her out
just before saying goodbye?
23
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,400
Yep. As of today,
24
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,820
the old bus and I
have driven our last mile together.
25
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:56,533
From here on in, it'll be
somebody else's foot on the accelerator.
26
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,535
I don't understand, Sergeant.
27
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,037
I'm selling it, Pyle.
28
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,747
Selling it to Sergeant Hacker.
29
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,667
Boy, if this old car could only talk.
30
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:09,796
All them drives
Bunny and me took along the ocean.
31
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:15,302
Them hot days on the beach when we used to
crawl under it to get out of the sun.
32
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,595
And the nights...
33
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,431
We used to park up on Lover's Lookout.
34
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:23,894
I remember once when the horn got stuck
and they almost pushed us off the cliff.
35
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,520
[both laughing]
36
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,858
Yeah, the old bus
could write a bestseller, that's for sure.
37
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:33,153
With all those pleasant memories,
Sergeant, why are you selling her?
38
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,780
It's costing me, Pyle.
39
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,699
You know cars.
They reach a certain age, and whammo.
40
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,118
You gotta be a millionaire
to keep them in gasoline alone.
41
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,204
You mean
you ain't getting good gas mileage?
42
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:46,458
Twelve miles to the gallon. Twelve miles!
I can't afford it.
43
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,378
Not an old car
and a girl that eats like Bunny both.
44
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:52,339
Sergeant, golly,
if it's just as question of gas mileage,
45
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,383
I'd be glad to look at
your carburetor for you.
46
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,926
Oh, no, thanks, Pyle.
47
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,886
Whatever it needs,
let Hacker worry about it.
48
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,431
Me, I'll just take the 250 bucks
and I'll look around for a...
49
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,685
Two hundred and fifty dollars?
Is that all?
50
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,437
Golly, Sergeant, I sure wished
I'd known you was selling her.
51
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,398
I'd have bought it from you in a second.
52
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,649
You?
53
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:14,194
Sure, what with me going into town
to see Lou-Ann every free night.
54
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:18,490
Why, I figure I could buy a car just
from the savings of the bus fare alone.
55
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,658
Yeah.
56
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:23,954
Well, I wish you'd told me, Pyle.
I'm afraid Sergeant Hacker beat you to it.
57
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:28,917
Now, if you don't mind, I do believe
you're keeping your wheelbarrow waiting.
58
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,503
Well, I'll see you tonight
at the bus stop, Sergeant.
59
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,632
Hey, Sergeant,
if I get there before you do tonight,
60
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,467
you want me to save you a seat?
61
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,885
That way, if it gets real crowded,
62
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,346
you wouldn't have to sit
over the back wheels or anything.
63
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,639
No, thanks, Pyle.
64
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,599
Sergeant Hacker's going to give me a lift.
65
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,393
[hood bangs]
66
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,187
Hey, Vince, take it easy on my trunk, huh?
67
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,565
- You got the dough?
- All set, pal, right here.
68
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,777
One, two, three, four, five,
69
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,530
five is ten, ten is 20. [chuckles]
70
00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,906
What this? Where's the rest?
71
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,575
Uh, well, it's coming.
72
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,410
Okay, kick in.
73
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,662
Well, look, Vince,
I don't have it all right now,
74
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,874
but I'll pay you the rest, don't worry.
At ten bucks a week.
75
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:13,211
Oh, no. No, you don't, Hacker.
Nobody said anything about buying on time.
76
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,172
You want the car,
it's cash on the barrel-top.
77
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,673
But, Vince, you didn't say that.
78
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,676
Well, I'm saying it now. No $250, no deal.
79
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,887
- But, Vince, wait a minute.
- I ain't got a minute,
80
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:25,515
seeing as how I'm keeping
a legitimate cash customer waiting.
81
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,106
[drill sergeant yelling in distance]
82
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,736
- Hey, Pyle.
- Oh, hey, Sergeant.
83
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,363
Pyle, are you still interested
in buying my car?
84
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,450
Sure, but I thought you said
Sergeant Hacker...
85
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,785
No, he ain't buying it.
86
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,745
You got the cash, the car is all yours.
87
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,706
Shazam!
88
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,291
Well, I sure do want it.
89
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,335
Good. And you're sure you got the cash?
90
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,670
All I got to do is go over to the bank
during noon chow,
91
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,963
if that's all right with you.
92
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,549
Oh, yeah, fine, Pyle.
That'll be just fine.
93
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,843
Oh, uh, one more thing, Pyle.
94
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,930
It's usually not a good idea
to sell a car to anybody you know
95
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,640
in case something goes wrong with it.
96
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,267
I mean, you know about the rotten mileage,
so don't blame me.
97
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,937
Oh, I know, Sergeant, but maybe
I can do something about that.
98
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,064
- I'll take a look at the carburetor.
- Sure, sure.
99
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,524
Well, see you at noon chow.
100
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,443
And you will have the cash, right?
101
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,071
Oh, you bet, Sergeant,
I'll have the money for you.
102
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,741
Shazam!
103
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,590
Hey, Pyle.
104
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,592
Hey, Sergeant Hacker, Corporal.
105
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,969
- Guess what?
- What?
106
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,804
- This car you didn't want...
- Yeah?
107
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,722
- I'm buying it.
- You are?
108
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,349
Just as soon as I go over to the bank.
109
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,978
I'm sure glad you decided not to buy it.
It really was my lucky day.
110
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,604
Well, I'll see ya.
111
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,403
How do you like that guy?
Sold his car right out from under me.
112
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,029
I guess Gomer had the cash.
113
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,782
Yeah, well, don't worry.
I'll take care of that Carter.
114
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,159
I'll fix that welsher, but good.
115
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,494
[chuckles]
116
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,680
Now?
117
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,809
No. If I know Pyle, he's just going in
to tell Carter how great it runs.
118
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,021
Excuse me, Sergeant, you got a minute?
119
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,355
What's the problem, Pyle?
120
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,816
It's no problem. It's no problem at all.
121
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,652
I just wanted to tell you
how nice the car's been running.
122
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,988
Fact is, I don't see how a car
could run much better.
123
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,532
Yeah, well, that's nice.
Now go get some sleep, will ya?
124
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,951
Right, Sergeant.
I just wanted to check in.
125
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,997
And thank you, Sergeant.
126
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,459
Thank you for making this
one of the most thrilling days of my life.
127
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,295
[door closes]
128
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,806
Okay, now.
129
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,229
I'd sure like to know
what you're going to prove, Sarge.
130
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:21,858
Shh, hold it down. Boy, this is going to
shake up old Vince pretty good.
131
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,026
Okay, pour it in.
132
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,487
You've heard of
gaslighting somebody, haven't you?
133
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,448
Well, we're about to gas-tank Carter
right out of his skull.
134
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,742
But it ain't Carter's car anymore,
it's Pyle's.
135
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:35,455
Wait... wait till Carter hears the mileage
that Pyle thinks he's getting. [chuckles]
136
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,248
Keep pouring.
137
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,422
- [engine starts]
- Hey, Pyle.
138
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,840
Wait a minute, wait up.
139
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,259
You driving into town?
140
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:51,179
- Oh, sure, Sergeant.
- You mind if I ride along with you?
141
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,516
Well, of course not. It'd be my pleasure.
142
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,852
Hey, the car really looks good.
What did you do?
143
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896
Oh, just a wax cleaner is all.
144
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,148
After I stripped all the old wax off,
145
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,068
the paint job wasn't half as dull
as I thought it'd be.
146
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,612
Yeah, well, it really looks good.
147
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,492
Hey, don't forget to fill 'er up
before you leave the base.
148
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,162
I already did that, Sergeant, last night
before I took her out for a test run.
149
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,372
How far did you go?
150
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:20,500
Oh, I must have drove up and down
the coast road a couple of times.
151
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,335
Couldn't have been more than 70, 75 miles.
152
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,714
Ah. Yeah, well, I guess we got enough
to get us into town, all right.
153
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,884
We got more than that, Sergeant.
Gas gauge is right on full.
154
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:30,969
Huh?
155
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,054
Well, it must be stuck or something.
156
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:36,641
I'm telling you, you're gonna have to
gas up when you hit town, for sure.
157
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,537
I'm sorry about the gas gauge, Pyle.
158
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,873
You know I would have mentioned it
if I'd known about it.
159
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,418
There's no need to apologize, Sergeant.
I'm sure it ain't stuck.
160
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,503
See, the gauge is down just a little bit.
161
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,631
I hate to be a killjoy, Pyle,
but I know this car.
162
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,884
It should be riding on empty by now.
163
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,179
- Yes, sir?
- Fill it up, please.
164
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,472
Yes, sir.
165
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,391
Well, one way or another,
I don't mind telling you,
166
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,893
I'm happy I don't have to worry about it.
167
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,813
Yes, sir, my one big problem in life now
168
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,150
is figuring out what I'm going to do
with all the money I'm saving on gas.
169
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,027
- [chuckling]
- Excuse me, Sergeant.
170
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,403
What's that?
171
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:35,075
Oh, this is my car diary. I like to keep a
record of things like gas mileage and all.
172
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,703
Okay, Pyle. Just as long
as you keep smiling. [chuckles]
173
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,330
That'll be 64 cents.
174
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,664
Sixty-four cents?
175
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,833
Two gallons on the button.
That's all she'd take.
176
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,085
That's all?
177
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,295
Did you hear that, Sergeant?
178
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,340
The gauge ain't broke after all.
Let's see...
179
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,259
Seventy-six miles... and two gallons...
180
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,845
Shazam!
181
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,432
Sergeant, you ain't gonna believe this,
but I'm getting 38 miles to the gallon.
182
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,810
Can you imagine that? Thirty-eight miles.
183
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,645
That's impossible.
184
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,355
How can you get 38?
185
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,648
I don't know, but there it is.
186
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:09,400
Double-check it,
but I'm sure I got my figures right.
187
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,820
Yeah. What did you do?
188
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,072
You do something to it,
like the carburetor?
189
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,200
No, all I done was
turn the carburetor set screw one time.
190
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,952
And you got 38?
191
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,287
That's impossible.
192
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,790
How could that be? How could that be?
193
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,793
[Hacker chuckles]
194
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,587
Yeah.
195
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:35,760
- Hey, Sergeant, may I come in?
- What's up, Pyle?
196
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,138
Sergeant, guess what? Guess what?
197
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,890
I just had to come and tell you
right away. It's about my car.
198
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,060
I just had it filled up with gas again,
and guess what?
199
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,229
You're right back down
to 12 miles a gallon?
200
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,023
No, Sergeant, I'm up to 45.
201
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:52,402
Forty-five? Pyle, you got to be kidding.
202
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,529
No, Sergeant.
I knew you wouldn't believe me,
203
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,114
so I had them make out a receipt.
204
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,949
See there? Thirty-two cents.
205
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,994
Why, that car's costing me
practically nothing to run.
206
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,620
Yeah.
207
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,707
Yeah...
208
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,381
Did I say something, Sergeant?
Are you mad at me?
209
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,549
Not you, Pyle.
210
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,217
I'm mad at myself.
211
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,219
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
212
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,512
That's me!
213
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:23,016
All hindsight, no front sight.
214
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,603
- I don't follow you, Sergeant.
- Forget it, Pyle.
215
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:31,733
The fact is, it's a lot tougher
being without a car than I ever dreamed.
216
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:36,404
- It is?
- Well, not for me personally, mind you.
217
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,156
It's Bunny, poor kid.
218
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,911
Boy, I never dreamed bus fumes
could hit a person like that.
219
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:46,247
All through the movie
she was toxic, Pyle, toxic.
220
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,458
Go-o-Olly!
221
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,460
And the blisters on her feet.
222
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:54,005
It just kills me
to have to make her walk everywhere.
223
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:57,342
Like the other night on the way home
from the chiropodist,
224
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,011
I had to carry her almost the whole way.
225
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,263
That's terrible, Sergeant.
226
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,390
Boy, that's rich, ain't it?
227
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,518
Here I sell you the car
because I can't afford it,
228
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,813
and all of a sudden I'm pouring
twice as much money down the drain
229
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,608
- on door-to-door cab fares.
- But, Sergeant...
230
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,444
Listen, why should I stand here
boring you, huh?
231
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,656
A deal is a deal, right?
I mean, it's my own fault
232
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,950
that I didn't look before I leaped.
233
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,452
Not that I can explain that
to Bunny's feet.
234
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,497
Sergeant, you don't have to say
another word.
235
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,207
What do you mean?
236
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,876
Sergeant, do you want me
to sell you back your car?
237
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,629
Oh, no. No, I couldn't.
238
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,422
I couldn't do that to you, Pyle.
239
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,092
- But, Sergeant...
- Pyle, a deal is a deal.
240
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:42,053
- But really...
- Pyle, I sold you the car, and that's it.
241
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,062
Pyle, wait a minute!
242
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:07,078
Hey, hey, Pyle!
How's the old car running?
243
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,371
Oh, just fine, Sergeant.
244
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,039
Only it ain't mine anymore.
245
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,417
You're kidding!
What do you mean? Whose is it?
246
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,294
I just sold it back to Sergeant Carter.
247
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,046
Well, how come? I thought
you were in love with this thing.
248
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,173
Well, actually,
it was more for Miss Bunny's sake,
249
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,551
- seeing how her health was suffering.
- Her health?
250
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,804
Uh-huh. The poor thing was getting sick
riding buses and walking,
251
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,432
and the sergeant needed the car
more than he realized.
252
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,768
Yeah. Well, your sergeant
is one considerate guy, all right.
253
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,354
I mean, how many guys
would go against their better judgment
254
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,732
just for the sake of a girl, I ask you?
255
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,483
Well, that's the sergeant, all right.
256
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,736
And the, uh,
car belongs to him again, right?
257
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,571
As of this very minute.
258
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,037
Welcome to step number two.
259
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,623
Now that Carter owns the car again,
we start siphoning the gas out.
260
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,500
[inhales]
261
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,893
[starts engine]
262
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:26,616
[tires screech]
263
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,411
Pyle, what's the matter with you?
You want to get yourself killed?
264
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,664
Well, hey, Sergeant. I just missed my bus,
and I was just wondering...
265
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,209
- If I was going into town.
- ...if you was going into town.
266
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,503
Just like old times, huh?
267
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,339
Okay, Pyle, I guess
that's the least I could do for you.
268
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,674
Well, thank you, Sergeant,
I sure appreciate it.
269
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,260
- Don't mention it.
- I guess Miss Bunny was really glad
270
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,638
- you got the car back for her.
- Huh?
271
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:51,015
Oh, yeah, real glad.
272
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,892
I guess you know you need some gas.
273
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,520
- Huh?
- The needle. It's sitting right on empty.
274
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,564
Wait a minute, Pyle, didn't you say
you had a full tank last night
275
00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,941
when you gave me the keys?
276
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:03,444
Yeah, Sergeant. It couldn't have been down
more than a couple of gallons at the most.
277
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,279
Yeah, that's what I thought.
278
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,075
All I did was drive over
to Harry's Roadside Rest and back.
279
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,744
That can't be more than
four or five miles. How could it be empty?
280
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,454
Well, maybe it's the gauge.
281
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:17,500
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah, it must be the gauge.
282
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,503
- [starts engine]
- Yeah, yeah, I got plenty of gas.
283
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,921
[chuckles]
284
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681
[bell dings]
285
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,476
[both panting]
286
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,562
I just don't understand it, Sergeant.
287
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,022
There I was,
getting 45 miles to the gallon,
288
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,191
and you ain't even getting
the 12 you used to get.
289
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,651
What do you suppose it is?
290
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,528
- What'll it be, boys?
- Fill 'er up!
291
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,947
Well, that's one consolation.
292
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,866
You don't have to worry
about the gas gauge.
293
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:50,908
It works just fine.
294
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,331
[spits, groans]
295
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,667
That stuff really clears up the sinuses,
don't it, Sarge?
296
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,335
Yeah. But it's worth it.
297
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,088
I'd go around with gasoline breath
for the rest of my life
298
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,632
just to see the look on Carter's face
tomorrow.
299
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,884
[chuckling]
300
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,677
[engine groaning]
301
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,305
[engine stops]
302
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,558
Oh, no!
303
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,981
Pyle! Hey, Pyle! Come here!
304
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,986
I know what you're gonna say, Sergeant.
305
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,155
I know I'm supposed to be
raking up behind the barracks,
306
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,574
but, you see,
I swapped off with Private Blodgett
307
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,950
on account of the goldenrod.
308
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,578
He didn't speak up,
but he's got this terrible allergy...
309
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:39,207
All I'm interested in is my car,
Pyle, your ex-car.
310
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,833
I want to know what's going on.
311
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,502
Why? Is something wrong, Sergeant?
312
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,213
Something wrong?
Now I can't even get it started!
313
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,298
That's how empty that gas tank is!
314
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,467
- Are you sure?
- I'm positive!
315
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,594
That's what I can't figure out.
316
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,639
I filled it up last night
before I picked Bunny up.
317
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,806
Let's see...
318
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,935
We went down to the fish pier
and watched them unload the tuna.
319
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,647
Then we took a drive up the coast highway
for a taco and a beer.
320
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,440
Then back to the base.
321
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,734
That's about 80 miles,
322
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,403
and the tank holds
a little more than 16 gallons,
323
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,821
which means I'm getting about...
324
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,658
...less than five miles to the gallon.
325
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,911
Five miles to the gallon, Pyle!
326
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,664
Well, that sure don't make much sense,
does it, Sergeant?
327
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:24,043
Boy, I never should've let you talk me
into buying this piece of tin back!
328
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:28,422
Sergeant, are you trying to say
that you want to sell the car back to me?
329
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,510
Well... not if you don't want it.
330
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:35,805
Well, I sure appreciate it, Sergeant,
but I don't think so.
331
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,849
Why not, Pyle?
Last week you couldn't wait to buy it!
332
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,353
Well, after you pointed out to me
how I was hardly using it,
333
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:45,648
I decided you was right.
But I'll be glad to check it out for you.
334
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,985
Be more than happy to see if I can
find the trouble, if that'll help out.
335
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,528
Yeah, you do that.
336
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,530
Well, uh, hello, Charlie.
337
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:56,033
Boy, now, that's what I call
a real perfectionist, Vince.
338
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,161
You won't be happy till you have
this thing running better than new.
339
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,580
That's right, Charlie.
340
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,666
Just like I told Pyle,
"Don't spare the horses."
341
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:07,712
I want it tuned like a violin,
a regular Stradivari.
342
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,505
- No kidding.
- And you know why?
343
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,340
Because I got ethics.
344
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:15,011
When I sell a car, I want it
fair and square and honest.
345
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,929
I don't think I follow you, Vince.
346
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:22,018
Well, I haven't posted the notice yet,
but, uh, I got the car up for sale again.
347
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,728
- Oh.
- Yeah.
348
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,688
I figured I'd buy a new one after all.
349
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,941
And you know the kind of rotten deal
they give you on a trade-in,
350
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,068
perfect shape or no perfect shape.
351
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,070
Yeah. Well, good luck.
352
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,281
Thanks. Not that I'll need it.
353
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,449
Hey, Charlie!
354
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,285
Boy, am I dumb!
355
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,163
I just remembered.
Last week you were in the market.
356
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,415
- That's right, I was.
- Yeah?
357
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:47,168
Well, if you're still interested,
I'll give you first crack.
358
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,588
No, I don't think so, Vince,
not if it needs all that fixing up.
359
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,466
What fixing? I told you, Pyle is tuning.
360
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,217
It ain't like something was busted.
361
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,887
Come on, Vince, this is sunny California.
362
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,556
I got my windows open.
I heard you ranting and raving
363
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,932
about the crummy mileage you get.
364
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,601
[scoffs] You're kidding!
365
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,353
Right, right, right.
366
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,189
That's why I got Pyle
working on it right now.
367
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,609
Listen, I'll, uh...
I'll even knock the price down a little.
368
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,029
A little? If you want
this conversation to continue,
369
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,031
you'll knock the price down a lot.
370
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,909
- Like how much?
- Say down to 100 bucks even.
371
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,994
A hundred?
372
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,704
[chuckling]
373
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,624
You're gonna blow it again, huh, Charlie?
374
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,085
The buy of a century,
and you're gonna blow it,
375
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,836
just like before. [chuckles]
376
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,046
I guess so.
377
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,758
Hold it!
I think I just heard Pyle calling me.
378
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:39,053
He must've found the trouble.
Uh, wait here. Don't go away.
379
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,391
Hey, Pyle.
380
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,520
Are you sure you don't want to buy my car?
381
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,563
Well, no, Sergeant,
I really and truly don't.
382
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,774
Well, okay, Pyle.
383
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:54,443
I just wanted to give you
one final chance,
384
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,987
seeing as how I got Hacker
foaming at the mouth.
385
00:19:56,987 --> 00:20:00,366
Well, thank you, Sergeant,
but you go ahead and sell it if you can.
386
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,242
Oh.
387
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,036
- And Sergeant?
- Uh, yeah, Pyle?
388
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,872
I've gone over it with a fine-tooth comb,
389
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,500
and I'm sorry,
but I can't locate the trouble.
390
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,793
Okay, Pyle.
391
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,461
Get back to your detail!
392
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:19,427
Well, Pyle didn't find anything wrong.
It don't even need fixing.
393
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,886
Good, good!
394
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,264
Well, in that case,
I'll give you 75 bucks.
395
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,099
But you just said a hundred.
396
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,601
That was a while ago.
Now it's an older car.
397
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:30,146
Okay, Hacker, but only if it's cash.
398
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,481
Cash! Well, if it's gonna be cash...
399
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,483
- Sixty-five bucks?
- You got a deal.
400
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,655
Twenty, 40, 60, five.
401
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,199
[chuckling]
402
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,412
Hey, Sergeant.
403
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,956
- I found that extra set of car keys.
- I don't want 'em.
404
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,750
Give 'em to Sergeant Hacker.
It's his car now.
405
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:55,129
Golly! Did you sell the car?
What'd you get for it, Sergeant?
406
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,298
- Two hundred at least, I'll bet.
- Pyle!
407
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,591
A hundred and fifty?
408
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,135
Car running that smooth's
got to be worth 150.
409
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,220
A hundred?
410
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,346
Ninety?
411
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,681
Seventy-five.
412
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,559
Fifty? Sergeant, you didn't...
413
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:11,353
Sixty-five! I sold it for 65!
Now get out of here!
414
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,695
Watch it, Jensen,
you're sloshing all over the place.
415
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,113
I'm not sloshing, it's leaking.
416
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,533
Okay. Let's get the gas in the car and
hide these cans before Carter gets back.
417
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,410
You really think
he'll be able to figure it out?
418
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,704
- Let's not take any chances.
- Hey, Sarge!
419
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:33,250
Uh-oh, it's Carter!
Get these cans in the trunk.
420
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,460
And then beat it!
421
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,761
Hey-hey-hey, what's up, Vince?
You change your mind again?
422
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,096
No, I just thought I'd bring you
an extra set of car keys.
423
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,097
Oh.
424
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,017
- You smell gas?
- Uh, gas?
425
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,811
No, I don't smell anything.
426
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,438
Must be that new aftershave lotion
you're using.
427
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,898
- [chuckling]
- [mock chuckling]
428
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,316
I got something for you, Vince.
429
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,276
- Yeah? What's that?
- A cigar.
430
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,362
Just to seal our bargain on the car.
431
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:04,281
You sure this ain't one of them
gag exploding ones?
432
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,952
Boy, you certainly are a suspicious guy,
Vince, you know that?
433
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,662
And you know something else you are?
434
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,330
You are ungracious.
435
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,291
You are definitely an ungracious guy.
436
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:17,044
- I'd hate to be married to you.
- Knock it off, will ya?
437
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:24,051
It's your car!
438
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,387
[Marine] Fire! Fire!
439
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:30,391
Hey! Hey, grab a fire extinguisher!
Give 'em a hand! Come on!
440
00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,101
Somebody call the fire department!
441
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,061
[indistinct shouts]
442
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,610
- What happened?
- How could a car blow up just like that?
443
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,445
Well, what do you suppose it was?
444
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,864
Do you think it's the gas tank?
445
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,283
Maybe somebody
left a cigarette burning in the car.
446
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,118
[sirens wailing in distance]
447
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,203
- Oh, Hacker?
- What?
448
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,373
Here are the keys to your car.
449
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,126
Go-o-Olly!
450
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,106
Hey, Pyle!
451
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,190
Wait up.
452
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,153
- Hey, Sergeant.
- What did Sergeant Hacker want?
453
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:26,906
Well, I don't know
whether you'd approve or not.
454
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,032
What? What? Tell me.
455
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,910
Well, your car...
456
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,120
I mean, your car before it was my car
457
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,580
before it was his car...
458
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,956
Yeah, what about it?
459
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,083
Well, it's my car again.
460
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:41,211
Your car? You mean the car that blew up?
461
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:43,380
The car that burned? You mean that car?
462
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,757
[Gomer] That's right.
463
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,842
Pyle, how can you be that stupid?
464
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,761
You got to be kidding to be so dumb
465
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:51,472
as to let somebody sell you
a piece of junk like that.
466
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:53,891
- But, Sergeant...
- What are you, Mr. Nice Guy?
467
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,895
Sergeant Hacker's car burns,
so you feel sorry for him,
468
00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,480
and you buy it from him.
469
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,900
That's not nice, that's stupid,
just plain stupid!
470
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,485
But I didn't buy it, Sergeant.
471
00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:06,320
Huh? Well, you said it was yours.
472
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,865
Well, Sergeant Hacker gave me $20
to take it off his hands as junk.
473
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,660
- He did?
- Uh-huh.
474
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,203
And do you know something, Sergeant?
475
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:17,915
This car ain't done for.
You can restore a burned-out car.
476
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,043
I can get a new windshield here,
some new upholstery,
477
00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:23,963
and give her a new paint job.
nobody'll ever know the difference.
478
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,297
Aw, come on.
479
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,924
And I'm gonna try and get her into shape.
480
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,468
And if I do,
do you think you might be interested,
481
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,720
seeing as how Miss Bunny
can't ride buses and things?
482
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,641
Well, if you're getting pretty good
mileage and the gas gauge works...
483
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,644
What am I talking about?
38395
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