All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E30 Friendly Freddy The Gentlemans Tailor 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

Well, what do you think?

You think I can get away with
wearing it for the wedding tomorrow?

Yeah, to a hippie wedding, maybe.

Well, how about
if I wear a black tie with it?

That'll make it more formal.

Look, Sarge, I've got a better idea.

Why don't you forget about the jacket
and wear your dress blues?

That way you'll be safe.

Nah, it's strictly a civilian wedding, one
of Bunny's friends in the secretary pool.

I'll stick out like a sore thumb.

The ushers are supposed
to wear dark suits.

- [Boyle] So?
- So who's got a dark suit?

Besides, it's too late to buy one now.

- Why don't you rent one?
- Yeah, yeah.

I guess that's what I'll have to do.

You sure a sport jacket wouldn't...

Sarge, you're gonna be an usher.

Yeah, yeah.

Where are the guys? They been paid yet?

Yeah, just about.

Well...

...I guess I'll have to go give them
the usual end-of-the-month pep talk.

All right you guys,
before you take off for town,

listen up and listen up good.

For those of you who don't remember,
let me remind you,

today is payday, right?

That means that outside the main gate

there's a whole army of characters

just waiting to sell you everything from
the Brooklyn Bridge to the Taj Mahal.

Here comes the part about the vultures.

Like vultures, these hustlers
will swoop down on you

and pick your pockets clean
if you give them half a chance.

So keep your hands on your wallets.

So keep your hands on your wallets
and walk right by 'em.

My advice is put some money in the bank.

Because a penny saved's a penny earned.

Because a penny saved is a penny earned.

All right, you've been warned. That's all.

Sergeant Carter? Thanks for the warning.

I'm sure all the men appreciate it.

Well, you be careful, Pyle.
You're the biggest pushover of them all.

Oh, don't worry, Sergeant. Like you said,
I'll look out for them vultures.

Boy, you sure do have a way with words.

[chatter]

Hey, Private, how about a nice new watch
for the girlfriend?

No, I'm sorry. She's already got one.
Thank you.

Hey, Marine, how'd you like to buy
a beautiful pearl necklace?

One hundred percent naturally cultured
for the mere price of $18.50.

No, thank you.

- All right, 12.50?
- No.

Ten bucks, even.

All right. You twisted my arm.

I'll even throw in
a mother-of-pearl pillbox

for the little lady's
artificial sweetener.

- What do you say?
- Well, no thank you.

Hey, Mr. Freddy.

Well, if it isn't my old friend...
my old friend...

Private Pyle, Private Gomer Pyle.

Of course.
Had it right on the tip of my tongue.

You remember?
You sold me a friendship ring for my girl.

Of course I remember. Shazam, right?

You're the one
who's always with the Shazam.

That's right, Pyle.
Don't listen to a word I said.

This is one of the vultures
I was telling you about.

In fact, he's king of the hill.

Excuse me, Sergeant.
Do we know each other?

Perhaps you're confusing me
with someone else.

Oh, no, I'm not. You're the bum
that took me to the cleaners

with that phony fur piece.

Fur... fur piece? Fur piece?

- Yeah, the one that fell apart.
- Was that you?

Oh, look, friend, I can explain.

You're not my friend.
And he's not yours either, Pyle.

So stay away from him.
He's nothing but a crook.

And if you've got any sense,
you'll shove off right now.

Listen, Sergeant. I'm hurt.
I'm really hurt.

Just because once... one...
once... once I was...

I was fooled by a dishonest supplier,
I have to suffer the rest of my life.

That's why I gave all that up
and went into my new business.

- New business?
- Yeah.

No more two-bit items
like those guys are peddling over there.

Look at them, pushing themselves
at those innocent Marines.

Oh, how uncouth, how vulgar.

They're a disgrace
to the selling business.

And thank goodness
I'm not in that game anymore.

You mean you're not a salesman anymore?

Well, that's a little part of it.
I'm now a gentleman's tailor.

A tailor? Well, ain't that nice.

Yeah. I've taken on a class line.
And all my sales are by recommendation.

Well, that sounds good.
What kind of line do you have?

- Suits, son, Hong Kong Suits.
- You don't say?

- Well, where's your store?
- Right here.

You mean your car?

Well, I still like
to keep the overheads down

so I can pass on
the savings to my customers.

I see. Golly, you sure got a lot of suits.

All top-grade stuff.

You know, Hong Kong suits are the finest.

Here... slip your fingers over this.

It's nice. It's real soft.

What are you? About a 42 long?

How'd you guess?

It's an art that comes with knowing
one's business inside and out.

Now, just slip this on, huh?

Really, Mr. Freddy,
I do have to get going.

No, no. Come on. There's no obligation.

I just want to show you
how I can run my business

without using any of that
high-pressure stuff on anyone.

Just look at that now, will you?
Just look at it.

That perfect?

Well, hey. It really is a nice fit.

Hmm. Nice fit?

It's you.
Now, tell me, do you have a dark suit?

Well, no.
You see, I don't have much occasion...

Look, I got nothing against the greatest
uniform in the world, heaven knows.

But every Marine should be able
to walk off his base in style.

By the way, dark is in this year.

You see? Midnight blue.

Pyle, have you seen Corporal Boyle around?

No, I didn't, Sergeant.

Pyle... is that you?

Well, yeah, Sergeant.

Must be this new suit.
I even feel different in it.

How do you like it?

Hey, great, Pyle, great.

And it's nice-feeling material.

It's one of them Hong Kong suits.

Well, that figures.

If there's one thing I know,
it's good material.

- Really, Sergeant?
- Yeah.

It's kind of a hangover
from my high school days,

when I used to help out in a haberdashery
store during the Christmas rush.

Yeah. That is good stuff.

- What, did you win it?
- No, Sergeant.

I bought it.
And guess how much I paid for it?

Well, a suit like that...

Did you go as high as 75?

- No.
- More? You bought it on time?

Wrong again.

This suit cost me $39.95.

No kidding!

That's all?

For this kind of suit?

And dark is in this year, Sargent.
So I'm right in style.

Pyle, where'd you get the suit?

- Well...
- I'll tell you why I ask.

I got to go to a wedding tomorrow,

and I might just want
to buy a suit like that.

Well, who's gonna get married?

Well, it's...

one of Bunny's friends
in the secretarial pool.

It's... it's gonna be a big affair,
you know,

with ushers and bridesmaids
and buffet, the works.

Oh, well, that sounds real nice.

Well, that's why I ask.

At 39.95, I'd be crazy to rent one
for just a day. Where'd you get it?

Well, you're gonna kind of be surprised.

Where? Where?

Well...

...I got it from Friendly Freddy.

Huh.

I should've known.

But Sergeant, you said yourself
this was real fine material.

Yeah, well, there must be something wrong.

Maybe he's in smuggling now.

Oh, no, Sergeant. I don't think
he'd ever do a thing like that.

Why don't you go try and find him
and get yourself a suit.

Oh, no. Even if he is on the level now,
I ain't running after him.

Is he still out at the gate?

No, I don't think so.

Uh-huh. He took off, left town.

Well, no, Sergeant.

He generally spends most of his time
at the pool hall in town.

The pool hall, huh?

You're gonna have to beat this suit
to death if you want to get rid of it.

You know, this suit can be worn anywhere.

And of course,
you're seeing it in the daylight.

You get the idea of the real color.

Pretty neutral, huh?

This can be worn anywhere.

Work, evening clothes,

travel, ball... ball... ballgames.

I mean, you can...
This is a practical all-around suit.

Look at the crease in the trousers.

Don't touch it. You'll cut your fingers.

Here. Take my word for it.

You'll be plenty happy if you...

Excuse me, sir.

Sergeant?

I thought I recognized you.

There something I can do for you?

- You? What could you do for me?
- Oh, I don't know.

I thought maybe you'd be interested
in a nice dark suit for yourself.

You know, I'm now in men's clothing.

I got a class operation.
Here, Sarge. Feel the material.

Just check those goods.
Judge for yourself.

You're darn right I'll be the judge.

I can tell the way you're feeling it,
you really know material.

- Well, I never bought junk.
- Oh, I know. I know.

If you really want to give it
the acid test, why don't you try one on?

Let's see now...

You're a... 40 stout, right?

Regular, 40 regular.

Regular.

Even if I did try one on,
that don't mean I'd want to buy it.

I don't take the first thing
somebody shoves in my face.

Well, naturally.
You'd be crazy if you did.

Especially when I trust you
about as far as I could throw you.

Well, this time,
let the goods do the talking.

Here. Step into the dressing room
and see for yourself.

The dressing room?

Yeah, across the street at the gas station
where it says "men".

- Hey...
- Hey, Sergeant.

Go-o-Olly!

You did it, Sergeant.

You went out and got yourself a suit
from Friendly Freddy.

Did you, Sergeant? From Friendly Freddy?

- Well...
- Just like I did.

Not like you, Pyle.

I took a little time
looking it over at the gas station.

Well, you look just beautiful, Sergeant,

just like you stepped out of
one of them $0.75 magazines.

Yeah.

Notice how the jacket falls
right to where I bend my fingers,

like it's supposed to, huh?
Just like it was tailor-made.

I told you, Sergeant.

I told you it's always better
to give a person the benefit of the doubt,

even a person like Friendly Freddy.

Yeah.
Well, look, Pyle, I got to go to town.

What's on your mind?

Oh, well, knowing you
was going into town for the wedding,

I was wondering if I could get a lift.
I just missed the bus.

- Okay. But I'm in a hurry.
- Me too, Sergeant.

Ain't that something, though?

Here you was, just about to lose
your confidence in Friendly Freddy

and he comes along and restores your faith
with such a fine suit.

Look, Pyle, will you save the sermon?
Come on.

Yes, sir.

- Sergeant?
- Yeah?

We look like twins, don't we?

- Hey, Lou-Ann.
- Gomer, your suit.

Oh, you look just beautiful.

- [sneezes]
- Why, bless you.

Thank you. Do you really like it?

Why, I should say so! Oh, it's just
beautiful. You look so handsome.

Then you should see Sergeant Carter.

- Sergeant Carter?
- He liked this on me so much,

he went out and got one exactly like it.

Well, I can certainly understand why.

You're an absolute fashion plate.

Well, should we sit down?
Or don't we have enough time?

Oh, well, the matinee
don't start for an hour yet.

So we've got time to sit down
and talk for a while.

- [sneezes]
- Why, bless you.

Gomer, don't tell me
you're coming down with a cold.

No, I don't think so.

Well, maybe it's an allergy, like Daddy.

He just had to look at goldenrod
or duck thistle and he... he... he...

[sneezes]

Bless you.

Golly, I hope I'm not carrying any germs
or pollen or anything around.

Well, I can't imagine.

Well, bless you.

Gomer, I just wonder if... if...

[she sniffs] Oh!

[sneezes]

Well, bless you again.

Now, you wait right there.

What are you doing? [sneezes]

There!

You see?

You're sneezing, but I'm not.

- Well, do you think maybe it's the couch?
- No, Gomer. I don't.

Actually, I think it's your suit.

My suit?

[both sneeze]

You see? You see?
It only happens when I'm next to you.

[both sneeze]

Why, this is terrible.

Oh, my gosh, Sergeant Carter.

I sure hope
his suit's not making him... him...

[both sneeze]

- Oh!
- Oh, Gomer,

I'm sure it's nothing permanent.

Why, it's just probably something
they put on it at the factory,

like mothproofing or something.

That's right.
It did come all the way from Hong Kong.

Well, then, that's it. Of course.

Well, you should've
just had it dry cleaned first.

I am so dumb.

Here I have ruined a perfectly good
Sunday afternoon for you.

Oh, now, Gomer, don't you go being silly.

Why, there's a while-you-wait dry cleaner
right around the corner.

And it's open seven days a week.

And we got a whole hour
before the movie starts.

That's just what I'll do.

You know something, Lou-Ann,

that's one of the things
I like most about you.

You've always got the right answers
for just about everything.

Oh, bless you. That's my fault again.

Quickly, Gomer,
before my mascara starts to run.

Ah... ah...

[Gomer sneezes]

- Excuse me, sir?
- Gosh, you finished already?

Well, sort of.
Sir, where did you get that suit?

From a feller
by the name of Friendly Freddy. Why?

I'm wondering,
did you get a guarantee with it?

Gosh. I didn't think
to ask Mr. Freddy for one. Why?

Well...

...I think you'd better see for yourself.

Go-o-Olly!

I guess I don't have to tell you
it shrunk a little.

Twenty thousand suits I dry clean, 20,000.

This is the first time
anything like this has ever happened.

But how... how in the world?

It's the material.

Looks like it's made out of
reclaimed odds and ends.

Not only does it shrink,
it can fall apart at the touch.

Oh, my gosh, Sergeant Carter.

- Huh?
- My Sergeant,

he's wearing the same suit.
I got to go warn him.

Mister, have you got something
I could borrow till I get my own clothes?

Yeah, yeah.
Better tell your Sergeant not to clean it.

Burn it, yes. But don't clean it.

Oh, there you go, Vince.

- You look real nice.
- [Carter chuckles]

Sergeant Carter? Sergeant Carter!

Pyle!

What are you doing here?
Where are your clothes?

- Sergeant, I got to talk to you.
- [organ playing]

- Have you been sneezing?
- Pyle!

'Cause if you have,
Sergeant, you ain't sick.

- It's the suit.
- [sneezes]

See there? But whatever you do,
don't have it cleaned.

Vince, Vince, come on, come on.

That's our cue. Get out of here, Pyle.

Sergeant, don't have it cleaned.
Just brush it real good.

Like these little threads,
just brush them off.

Pyle, get out of here!

[here comes the bride plays]

I'll kill him!

I'll strangle him with my own two hands.

Well, I can appreciate
how you feel, Sergeant,

but maybe it'll be just as much a surprise
to Mr. Freddy.

Sure, sure.
Let's face it, Pyle. We were taken.

You shrunk and I unraveled.
You're gonna tell me that's a coincidence?

Well, I don't know what to think,
Sergeant,

not until I hear
what Mr. Freddy has to say.

I'll tell you what he's gonna say.
He's gonna say nothing,

because I'm gonna do all the talking.

Wait a minute.

Ain't that him, sleeping in his car?

Yes, sir. I think so.

Come on.

[honks horn]

All right, all right!

What? What happened?

What happened, Officer?

If it's about them parking tickets,
I can...

Ser... Sergeant, what... what happened?

We want our money. That's all.

We want our money back for them two suits.

What happened?

This is what happened,
a jacket with no sleeves.

And, Pyle, tell him
what happened to your suit, Pyle.

Well, that's the reason
I'm in this raincoat, Mr. Freddy.

I took this suit and had it dry cleaned.

And this is what happened.

You know any midget
who can wear a 42 long?

This is terrible. I mean, this is...
Wait... wait a minute.

Wait a minute.
Did you say you had it dry cleaned?

Right after it started to make me sneeze.

Look, I got a wedding to get back to.

Oh, no. Son, didn't you read the tag,
the one tied to the middle button?

Well, no. I didn't think to.

Well, what if he did?

If it was like the tag on my jacket,
it was in Chinese.

Only on one side.
The other side was in English.

It told you the suit was made
of 100% percent virgin crack-a-lack.

Crack-a-lack?

The newest thing in synthetic fiber.

I mean, all you got to do
is take care of it.

You can't just bring it
into any old dry cleaners.

It's got to be hand-washed
in ice-cold water and Epsom salts.

Sergeant, it's all my fault,
'cause I didn't read the tag.

Mr. Freddy
didn't have nothing to do with it.

Okay, okay. That's Pyle's tough luck.

But what about my suit?

I didn't have it dry cleaned.
I just brushed it.

You must've brushed it vigorously.

Yeah. You know, crack-a-lack is
very fragile, like the petals of a rose.

Can't just take a rose and...

Never mind that.
Just make good on my suit, and fast.

I will Sergeant, I will.
I'll give you another suit.

But no more crack-a-lack for you.

This time wool, 100% simulated wool.

Oh, no.

This time, I ain't settling
for anything less than my money back.

I got a wedding to get back to.
My girl's waiting for me.

But Sergeant,
even if you do get your money back,

it's Sunday
and all the men's shops are closed.

Where you gonna get another suit?

All right, all right.

You got me against the wall
and you know it.

- Okay. Give me the suit.
- Let's see... you're the 40 stout.

Regular. Regular!

Maybe this suit'll even be better
than the other one, Sergeant.

Yeah. Maybe it'll last for two days.

Here we are.

One 40 regular.

And one 42 long.

- Shazam! For me too?
- That's right.

Above and beyond
all legal obligation on my part,

just so I can keep
my hard-earned goodwill.

- Go-o-Olly! You hear that, Sergeant?
- Big deal.

Fellas, this time, please,

take it easy with the suits, huh?

If you treat them right,
they should last a lifetime.

- Where we gonna put them on, Sergeant?
- The gas station. The gas station.

Goodbye, girls. I'll see you tomorrow.

Vince, where have you been? It's all over.

Huh? Over?

Well, I went out to get a new suit.
You saw what happened.

Miss Bunny, I insisted on coming back with
the sergeant to explain things to you.

- It was all my fault.
- What?

Well, I feel like I got him
into this in the first place.

And, well, I'd like
to make it up to the two of you.

So what would the two of you
say to having dinner

with me and Lou-Ann tonight? My treat.

Well, that's awfully sweet of you, Gomer,
but you really don't have to.

Forget it, Pyle. Forget it.

Well, maybe we could even make it
dining and dancing.

I don't think so, Pyle.

Well, I sure wish you'd let me.
I'd feel a whole lot better.

Well, that's very sweet, Gomer.

Okay. We'd be glad to.

Wait a minute. You didn't ask me.

Okay, I'm asking you.
Are we going with Gomer

or am I going home
and never speaking to you again?

We're going with you.

At first, I was horrified.

But then, when I thought about it later,
it was funny. I mean, really funny!

Well, at least you weren't sneezing,
like Gomer and I.

We couldn't even
hold a polite conversation.

[laughs] That must've been rich.

But you should've seen Vince.

There he was acting all formal and serious
with his sleeves hanging out!

Well, I don't think it's funny.
I don't think it's funny at all.

Oh, come on, Vince.

But I was humiliated.
To me, that's nothing to laugh at.

That's why I went down and had it out
with that Freddy character.

And we got spanking new suits from it too.

He was real nice about it.

It has nothing to do with nice.

I just didn't let him
get away with anything, that's all.

He may be sharp, but not sharp enough
to pull one over on me.

So he just nicely came up
with a couple of decent suits, that's all.

What are we yakking about?

There's good music playing.
Come on, let's dance.

I'll buy that.

[upbeat jazz playing]

Thirty-eight, 39, 40.

There you go, Private.
Af ull refund with a smile.

And you can even
forget about the nickel change.

Gosh, thanks a lot, Mr. Freddy.

Big deal.

Come on, Pyle, while we still
got the shirts on our back.

I don't blame you for being mad.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

All my good intentions
wiped out by one crooked supplier.

But don't worry,
he'll never get my business again.

Well, I sure hope not, not after
what he did you, lying like that.

Pyle, will you come on?

From now on, I'm dealing strictly with
my man handling the sheepskin coats.

Yeah, him I know since I was a kid.

- Sheepskin coats?
- Let's go, Pyle.

A friend of mine bought out the entire
cargo of that Norwegian freighter,

you know, the one that got hung up
on the coral reef off New Jersey?

You probably read about it.
Was on all the front pages.

I don't remember that. Do you, Sergeant?

No, I don't. Let's go.

Well, anyway, my buddy's
given me a special price on these coats,

before he starts
selling to department stores.

I can let you have it for a mere $51 .50.

Because once these sheepskin coats
hit the department stores,

you gotta pay at least $125
for them, right?

Oh, boy, they sure are pretty.
Look at that lining.

Well, yeah. That's 100% virgin fleece.

See the tag?

Oh, come on. Who are you kidding?

It's a piece of junk, just like
your suits are, and you know it.

Let's go, Pyle.

But Sergeant,
it was a real good-looking coat.

Pyle, when are you gonna learn?
How many times do you have to get burned?

Now, take your money, put it in a bank,
and stay away from that crook.

Move, Pyle. That's an order.

Er... just a minute.

What kind of lining did you say that was?

Fleece, 100% virgin fleece.
Let's see, you're the 40 stout?

Regular. Regular!