All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E29 And Baby Makes Three 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

And the milk is here. All you have to do
is warm it. Not too hot, just warm.

Oh, and there's his baby food.

He gets one vegetable and one fruit.

One vegetable, one fruit. Right.

Honey, please, we're...

All his toys are in the bedroom
beside the crib.

He sleeps most of the time,
so he really shouldn't be any bother.

Don't worry about a thing, Nancy.
Me and Timmy's gonna get along fine.

Let's just hope
that your mama's all right.

I'm sorry to impose on you
like this, Gomer,

but it all happened so suddenly.

Oh, we just got the call
from the hospital this morning.

We called every babysitter we know.
It's such a short notice.

- That's why I had to call you.
- Glad to do it.

- I'm really happy to help out.
- Well, we can never thank you enough.

Honey, we've better get going
if we're gonna catch the next flight.

Oh, Gomer, we'll probably catch
the six o'clock plane tonight.

That's only San Francisco...
45-minute flight.

We should be back here
by 7:00 or 7:30 at the latest.

Well, there's no need to rush,

just so long as you're back by 5:30 in the
morning in time for me to make reveille.

Uh, no later than 9:00.

Oh, and this wind-up teddy bear's
his favorite toy.

- Honey...
- Oh, okay.

- See you later, Gomer.
- Bye.

- Bye-bye.
- Thanks.

Don't worry about a thing.

[twinkling music plays]

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

- ♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody... ♪
- [Timmy babbling]

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

♪ The old gray goose is dead

♪ She died in the millpond

♪ She died in the millpond

♪ She died in the millpond

♪ Standing on her head

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

♪ The old gray goose is dead ♪

[phone rings]

Hello?

Uh, Gomer, this is Howie. How's Timmy?

Oh, he's fine.
He's just fixing to go back to sleep.

But how's Nancy's mother?

Why, she's okay. It was just appendix,
and they got it in time.

Uh, Gomer, we're going to get back
a little later than I thought tonight.

Oh, that's perfectly all right.

I've got until 5:30.

See, it's 10 o'clock now,

so if you catch the next plane,
you should be back here before midnight.

That's just it, Gomer.
They're not flying. There's too much fog.

We're borrowing my mother's car
and we're driving back tonight.

But the soonest we could get there
would be, well, 5:00 in the morning,

and that could make you late for reveille.

Well, then what I better do
is just call Sergeant Carter

and tell him
I'm gonna be a little bit late.

I'm sure he'll understand.

- [phone rings]
- Hmm?

All right, all right.

Company B, Sergeant Carter here.

Sergeant Carter, this is me, Gomer.

Were you sleeping?

Hmm? No, I was playing polo.

- You were sleeping, weren't you?
- What do you want, Pyle?

I was hoping you wouldn't be sleeping,
because if you was sleeping,

I sure wouldn't want to wake you up.

Well, I was, and you did.
Now, what do you want?

Oh, well, Sergeant,
I've got this problem.

You see, there's a chance

that I might be
just the teeniest bit late for reveille.

And so I wanted to check with you
to see if it'd be all right

if I come in around 6 o'clock. You see...

What do you mean, 6:00?

You think this is a bank?

You're a Marine, and we open for business
at 5:30. Reveille.

And if you ain't here,
you'll be listed as AWOL.

But Sergeant...

AWOL, Pyle, which makes you subject
to a possible court-marti a I

and a term in the brig. Is that clear?
Now just be here.

- [slams phone down]
- He's gonna be a little late!

He's gonna be a little late.

[snoring]

Looks like I just made it.

I waited till the last minute, but this
little feller's folks never did show up.

So what I'm about to do
is go ask Sergeant Carter

if it's all right if he stays here
till they come and pick him up.

I'm sure it'll be okay.

Sergeant?

Sergeant Carter?

- It's me, Gomer
- Huh?

What I tried to tell you on the phone
was that Private Reilly and his wife

had to go to San Francisco,

and they left their little baby with me
to take care of.

Well, they're going to be
a little bit delayed.

Well, I couldn't be in two places at once,

so there wasn't nothing else for me to do

except bring the little baby
back here with me.

I hope that's all right.
He won't be any trouble.

He's the nicest little baby
you ever did see.

All we need's a place for him to stay,

and Reilly will be by and pick him up
just as soon as he can.

So I'll just take him over to the barracks
with me for a while, okay?

[mutters]

Is it all right, Sergeant?

[mutters]

Oh, thank you, Sergeant.
I just knew you'd understand.

[Reveille plays]

[Timmy cries]

Shh. That's just reveille.
That don't mean that you have to get up.

That's Marines only.

Holy smokes.

- Gomer?
- [Marines grumble]

It's Reilly's baby.

He got stuck up north,
and I had to bring him here.

It's all right, though,
because I checked with Sergeant Carter.

Hey, would one of you fellers
hand me that diaper out of that bag

and throw it over my shoulder?

I'll be burping him in a minute.

Hmm, is that good?

[Carter] Hey, come on!
Move, move, move, move, move.

Dress it up there. Come on, dress it up.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's move.

All right, roll call and sound off.

[Timmy crying]

It's all right, Sergeant.

He's just getting used to
his new surroundings.

And they're supposed to cry a little bit.

It's good for their throat and eyes.

[Timmy crying]

I guess he wants
to get a good look at Timmy.

He didn't get to see little feller
too well last night.

[Carter] Pyle!

[Gomer] Ain't he cute, Sergeant?

Pyle, you're out of your mind.
You need medical care.

What is this?

Well, it's Private Reilly's baby,
Sergeant.

You brought a baby on the base?

But I checked with you, Sergeant,
and you said it would be all right.

What are you talking about?
What did you check with me?

- What, what, what?
- Well, don't you remember?

I came in right before reveille
this morning,

and I told you
that Private Reilly and his wife

had to rush up to San Francisco
on account of her mother was sick,

and they left their baby
for me to take care of.

And, well, you said it'd be all right
if I kept him here in the barracks.

- I said that?
- Well, sure, Sergeant.

I came right up to your bunk
and explained the whole thing,

and, well, you nodded all the time.

Then I must have been asleep.
Can't you tell when a guy's asleep?

Well, I'm sorry, Sergeant.

But when I phoned you
and told you I was gonna be late,

you said I'd be listed as AWOL,
and, well, I just had no choice.

I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it.

Well, I left Private Reilly a note
and told him I had the baby here with me.

And, well, he said he'd be back by 5:00,
and it's almost 6:00 now,

so he oughta be coming along any time now.

What do we do with a baby in the meantime?
A baby in the barracks?

Ain't there some way we can call Reilly
and tell him to get here faster?

Well, he's on the road.

Well, what about relatives?

Does he have any relatives
we can get to take the kid?

Well, no, Sergeant.
That's the reason they called me.

Oh, brother!

Sarge, phone call for Pyle. It's Reilly.

You see, Sergeant? He's home and he's all
set to come down here and pick up Timmy.

I'll get it right away.

What's that?

It's a zebra. What do you think it is?

The whole transmission?

Well, I guess it can't be helped.

Well, you just do the best you can,

and we'll take real good care of Timmy
till you get here.

Well, bye.

Well? Well?

I'm sorry, Sergeant, but I think
we're going to have little Timmy with us

a little longer than we figured.

Reilly's car broke down,
and he's getting it fixed.

Okay, that does it. The kid goes.
I don't know where, but he goes.

To a hospital or home.
Someplace they can look after a baby.

- But Sergeant, I don't...
- Look, Pyle.

I've got a colonel's inspection,

and I ain't about to get caught
with a baby on the premises.

Let's see, babies, babies.

Now, Sergeant, I'm not really sure
that's such a good idea.

- Huh?
- Putting Timmy with strangers.

I heard about a little baby once
that same thing happened to.

And it frightened him so bad that
he was affected for the rest of his life.

Every time he walks into
a strange place today,

he breaks out in hives.

And he's 32 years old.

Now, we wouldn't want to be responsible

for turning little Timmy
into a botched-up grown-up, would we?

Sarge, what's the story?
What's going to happen?

Sergeant, how could you take
a little sweet baby like this and...

and send him away?

[Timmy cooing]

Sweet, sweet, sweet.

[Timmy babbling]

You know why babies
smell so good, Sergeant?

You'd smell good too if you was sprinkled
with talcum all day long.

You know something?

There ain't nothing as smooth and soft
as a little baby's skin.

- You wanna touch him, Sergeant?
- No, Pyle.

I want to get rid of him.
I've got an inspection, remember?

Well, he'll be all right back here,
won't he, Sergeant?

I mean, they never do inspect back here,
do they?

Pyle, they don't have to see him.
All they gotta do is hear him.

Well, he'll be all right, Sergeant.

Let me go get him some breakfast.

Some nice warm milk and strained potatoes
will keep him nice and quiet.

- I'll be right back.
- Oh, wait a minute.

Sergeant Hacker will be at the mess hall.

All I need is for that bigmouth
to find out I've got a kid stashed here.

I won't say one word.

Nah, I better handle it.

You and Boyle take turns watching the kid
while the others get breakfast.

And remember, not a word
about nothing to nobody.

And try to keep him quiet.

Well, well, well, if it ain't the star
boarder and champion chowhound himself!

And beating the crowd.

How many eggs this morning, champ,
one or two...

dozen?

Uh, no eggs. I'm going light.

Oh just a side of beef
and a gallon of chili, huh?

Could you get me a glass of warm milk
and some strained potatoes?

- What?
- Warm milk and strained potatoes.

Are you on a diet or something?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, what kind of diet is it?
What's it for?

Oh, nothing special.

I've just been going heavy
on the chow lately,

and I thought I'd take it easy
for a while. That's all.

Well, can I have it or can't I?

Oh, sure, sure. See Pete in the kitchen.

Warm milk and strained potatoes.

Warm milk and strained potatoes.
I wonder what's wrong.

Well, like he said, Sergeant,
he's just going easy.

Think a minute. Who needs food like that?

People with ulcers.

- You think that...?
- That's it.

The guy's got himself an ulcer.

Sure, that's why he's on that diet,
and he doesn't want anybody to know.

You see, Jensen, that's the way it goes.

All those years of steaming
and churning inside finally caught up.

The poor guy's got himself an ulcer.

[chatter]

How you doing, Pyle?

Uh, just fine, Sergeant.

And Sergeant Carter
was in before getting some,

you know, warm milk and strained potatoes.

Uh-huh. Oh, well, excuse me, Sergeant.

Relax, Pyle. I know the whole story.
Everything.

You mean he told you all about it?

How can you hide a thing like that?

Well, I'm sure glad he told you.

After all, it's nothing
to be the least bit ashamed of.

Of course not.
When you got a problem like that,

you oughta let your buddies pitch in
and help out.

That's exactly
what I've been saying all along.

Who's taking care of him?
The doctor on the base?

No. Just mostly Corporal Boyle and me.

The sergeant wanted us
keep it amongst ourselves.

He was afraid if word got out,
he might lose his stripes.

Yeah, I guess it could be
the end of him around here.

But still, he oughta have a doctor.

Well, there's really no need.

The only time he ever complains
is when his tummy's empty.

That's when he takes the hot milk, huh?

Well, not hot, just nice and warm.

Boy, I never would've guessed.

But you've been in on this
all along, huh, Pyle?

Uh-huh. It was me that carried him
onto the base this morning.

Really?

Well, you go eat your breakfast.
I'm going to go up and look in on him.

Come on.

There you go, sweetheart.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Look at him, Sarge. He's almost asleep.

Come on!

- When is Reilly gonna get here?
- [door opens]

That must be him now.

- Hiya, Vince.
- Uh, what are you doing here?

Now, look,
you've got to stop being so jumpy.

That's the worst thing
in the world for it.

- What are you talking about?
- Relax, will you? Relax.

I know all about it. Pyle told me.

Pyle told you?

I'll kill him!

Now, you see, there you go again.

You gotta settle down.
I only came over here to help you.

Here, I brought you this. Heavy cream.

Heavy cream?

Best thing in the world for it.
I oughta know. My uncle had one.

- Your uncle?
- Yeah, yeah.

Now that's exactly
what you oughta take for your ulcer.

- Huh?
- Come on, Vince...

warm milk, strained potatoes?
What else could it be, huh?

- What else?
- Oh, sure. What else?

It's my ulcer.

The only thing I don't understand

is why you couldn't come right out
and tell me.

Now, what are you, proud or something?

How long have we known each other?
Seven, eight years?

Yeah, something like that.

Then why all the secrecy?

You're acting like an old lady.

I mean, what are friends for?

Oh, well, I just wasn't thinking, Charlie.
Uh, I'm sorry.

- Thanks for coming to see me.
- Well, now, wait a minute.

You want any strained foods,
any warm milk,

any cottage cheese, anything at all,
you just say the word, you hear?

- Right.
- Right, okay.

Hey, hey, hey, and Vince, listen.

You stay off that roughage, you hear?

- Right.
- Right.

Hey, hey... oh, yeah, wait.

And another thing
that's nice and bland. You know what?

- What?
- Angel food cake.

My aunt used to make it
for my uncle. Angel food cake.

- I'll get some.
- No, you won't,

because I'm going to make it for you.
I'm going to bake you an angel food cake.

I insist. We're going to see this thing
through together, pal.

Aw, thanks a lot, Charlie.

One special angel food cake
coming right up.

You hear that, Vince?
I'm gonna make you an angel food cake.

Hacker... he's going to bake me
an angel food cake.

I want that oven at 350 exact.

Not 349 or 351, 3-5-0.

That's the best for an angel food cake.

I'm making Sergeant Carter
an angel food cake.

You wanted to see me, Sergeant?

Oh, yeah, Pyle.

I spoke to Sergeant Carter,
and I'm fixing him up

with some of those bland foods
that he needs.

I'm also giving him a little treat.
An angel food cake.

Tell him it will be ready
in about an hour, huh?

An angel food cake?

For a baby?

Yeah, when you got a condition like...

Really all he needs is some warm milk.

Say, did you get to see the little feller
in the back room

when you was over
talking to Sergeant Carter?

Well, he was probably sleeping.

It's really a shame
you didn't get to see him, though,

'cause he ain't gonna be here
too much longer.

Reilly will probably be back for him
anytime now.

Reilly...

Reilly's baby.

Sure, warm milk and strained potatoes.

I know the sergeant appreciates everything
you do. And just like you said,

what are friends for?

Oven's ready, Sarge.

Oh, good. Good.

Well, he didn't finish his bottle,
but he's fast asleep.

Wonderful.

- Any sign of Reilly?
- No, sir, he hadn't showed up yet.

Oh, we're gonna be in trouble, big
trouble. The colonel's gonna come around,

and that kid's going to wake up
right in the middle of inspection.

Take my word for it. I got a feeling.

Well, he should sleep
right through it, Sergeant.

All you do is put the bottle in his mouth.

That way, when he wakes up,
he'll have something to drink.

- And that should keep him quiet.
- Okay, do it.

And when the colonel leaves,
we're getting that kid outta here.

Reilly or no Reilly,
he goes to a hospital, like I said.

- But Sergeant...
- No buts!

We'll take him to the hospital
where he was born.

Tell them he needs a six-month check-up
or something, like with a car.

They'll have to take him back.

But Sergeant, couldn't we keep him here
just a little bit longer?

I've waited all I'm going to wait.
This is it.

When the colonel goes, he goes.
I've had it.

Come on.

The colonel, he's coming.

A teddy bear! Stash it, stash it!
That's all we need.

Sergeant, wouldn't it be better
if you told the colonel the truth?

Honesty is the best policy.

Are you listening to Denny Dimwit here?

Pyle, you're out of your mind.

Do you know what would happen
if I told the colonel I had a baby here?

Well, I'm sure he'd understand,

just like when I told you
that I had a baby here.

- You were very understanding.
- Sure I was understanding.

That's because you're an idiot,
Pyle, and don't know better.

But I'm a sergeant, and I was asleep.

And besides, sergeants don't get involved
in hare-brained things like hiding babies.

I think that if you told him,
he'd understand.

- Ten-hut!
- At ease.

The roster forms seem in order, Sergeant.

Uh, right, sir.

[twinkling music plays]

Where's that music coming from, Sergeant?

Music, sir?

Seems to be coming
from this filing cabinet.

It is, sir? Well, I can't imagine...

Why, it's a teddy bear.

I can see that. What's it doing here?

- Well...
- [music stops]

It's... uh, Private Reilly's, sir.
A present for his kid.

Uh, that's it, sir. It's a present.

[Timmy crying]

What's that?

What's what, sir?

[Timmy crying]

That.

It's a baby, sir.

I know.
I've seen a couple of them in my time.

Well, you see, sir, Private Reilly
had an emergency up in San Francisco,

and I was at his place babysitting.

And then the airport got fogged in,
and he couldn't get back,

and, well, I couldn't leave the baby.

So I brought him here.

I know it's not in the regulations,

but, well,
I just plain didn't know what else to do.

Highly irregular, Pyle.

But I can appreciate the spot you were in,
caught between responsibility and duty.

- Yes, sir.
- When do the parents get back?

Well, they should be back any time now.

Well, considering the circumstances,
one Marine helping another,

I suppose we can overlook it this time.

[phone rings]

Company B, Corporal Boyle.

Oh?

Thank you very much.

It's Private Reilly, sir.
He and his wife are at the main gate.

Oh, good.

- The parents?
- Yes, sir.

So I'll just collect Timmy's things
and take him and them to the front gate,

- if that's all right, Colonel.
- Of course.

I'd say the parents were lucky
to have someone

do as responsible a job
as you've done looking after their child.

Thank you, sir.

[Colonel chuckles]

He's a good man.

A little unorthodox
and a bit sentimental, but a good man.

You know, sir, I felt the same way
when Pyle told me about the baby.

You mean you were in on this
from the beginning, Sergeant?

Oh, yes, sir.

The minute I found out about it,
I took over completely.

Helped feed him and everything.

One Marine lending a helping hand
to another.

I see.

Sergeant Carter...

Yes, sir?

A private doing something like that
is understandable,

but a sergeant should have reported this
directly to me

and explained the circumstances.
With those stripes you're wearing,

I would have expected
a more intelligent handling.

You've conducted this matter in a most
undisciplined and haphazard manner.

Sergeant,
you'll report to my office at 14:00.

We'll have a little private meeting

to discuss the proper conduct
of a Marine NCO

when confronted with a novel situation.

- Aye, aye, sir.
- Carry on.

Sergeant Hacker, were you looking for me?

No, sir.

So you were in on this too.

You'd better join Sergeant Carter
when he reports to my office.

I'll have a few things
to discuss with you too.

Yes, sir.

Where did you get that bottle?

Well, here we go.

Say goodbye to your Uncle Hacker
and your Uncle Carter.

You know, it was kinda nice
having a baby around here for a while.

And wasn't the colonel nice about it?

It's just the kind of thing
that brightens up your whole day.

Well, say bye-bye.

Bye-bye!

[crying]

I'll kill him.

So help me, I'll kill him.

[crying]

Where is it?

Where is it? Pyle? Pyle?

- Huh?
- Where is it? Where are you hiding it?

- Hiding what, Sergeant?
- Come on. Come on.

The kid.
You're babysitting for Reilly again.

Well, no, Sergeant. They picked Timmy up
this morning. Don't you remember?

Then it's another baby.
You gone into the baby business?

I don't know what you mean, Sergeant.

Pyle, I heard a baby crying
a few seconds ago,

and it came from this direction.
So don't sit there and tell me...

[crying]

There. There it is again.
You stashed the baby outside somewhere.

[crying]

[meows]

Why, it's a pussycat!

It must have just wandered onto the base.

Ain't it amazing
how much they sound like babies?

Back home it used to confuse me
all the time.

Go back to sleep!

Get outta here, you stupid cat!

Oh, hey, you! Are you lost? Huh?

Don't you have a home?

♪ Go tell Aunt Rhody

♪ Go tell... ♪