All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E25 The Price of Tomatoes 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Now, the purpose
of Operation Lightning Bolt

is to test the new Mark-14 mobile
rocket launcher under combat conditions.

And since the Mark-14
is General Cartwright's baby,

he'll be flying in Thursday morning
to act as official observer.

Now, are there any questions
as to your individual assignments?

- Sir?
- Sergeant.

According to the operation plan,

my platoon is supposed to set up
a defense perimeter

around the primary rocket launching
site in Tract 38?

That's right, Sergeant.

It's in this area here,
along the eastern edge of the base.

Well, sir, I don't think
I've ever been out that way.

Neither has anyone else.

That section of land hasn't been used
since Camp Henderson was established.

In that case, sir, if I could have
permission to reconnoiter the area

in advance of the maneuvers?

You'll have to do more than reconnoiter,
Sergeant.

Since it's never been used, it's probably
overgrown with mesquite and chaparral.

You'll have to send someone out with
a bulldozer to clear out a launch area.

So I need a volunteer
who can drive a bulldozer.

Anybody here able to handle one?

Anybody?

Anybody at all?

Look, fellas, somebody in this platoon
must know how to drive a bulldozer.

Come on, you don't have to be
an expert, just adequate.

Anybody here just adequate?

It's just like driving a truck, fellas.
It's simple.

Come on, somebody here
must know how to drive a truck.

Okay, the rest of the platoon, dismissed.

Swear you can drive a bulldozer, Pyle.

Oh, I can, Sergeant.
I can drive a bulldozer,

a tractor, a reaper, or any other
kind of machinery you can think of.

There's a General coming, Pyle.

That area's got to be in tip-top shape
for this maneuver.

Trust me, Sergeant.

Oh, I wish you hadn't said that.

Sergeant Carter,
I know how important this is to you.

Well, don't worry,
I'll do a real fine job for you.

Okay.

Now here's the area I want cleared up.
Tract 38.

Yes, sir.

Get rid of every bush and weed.
It's got to be clean as a whistle.

Trust me.

Will you stop saying that?

Okay. Now get moving.

You've got a pretty good day's work
ahead of you.

Yes, sir.

- And Pyle?
- Yes, sir?

If you come across any birds' nests,

don't spend the rest of the day
trying to find them a new place to live.

Just shoo them away, and push on through.

[indistinct shouting]

Shut that thing down.

Shut that down and get off of there.

[engine stops]

I'm sorry, mister. I didn't even see you.

Last thing I expected way out here
was a pedestrian.

Well, you might say the last thing I
expected to see out here was a trespasser.

But you've got it all wrong.
I'm not trespassing.

I'm just doing what I was ordered to do.

Clearing all the brush and weeds
off of Section 38 on this here map.

Well, that makes you a trespasser,

because that Tract 38
or whatever you call it

belongs to me. It's my property.
Weeds included.

But it says right here "Property
of the United States Government".

This property is mine.
Now, just take my word for it.

But, sir, this is Camp Henderson,
a Marine base.

I know that. I know all about that.

This property is mine.

Now if you'll come with me,
I'll prove it you.

Now, just take a look at that.

Shazam!

Now then, do you think
that I'd go to all that work

on land that didn't belong to me?

I've been planting tomatoes
on this land for 25 years.

Not only here,
but a big patch over yonder,

and another big one up the draw there.

Well, I never knew
anything like that was here.

I sure am glad you stopped me.

Why, I pretty near bulldozed
up half your farm.

I'm awful sorry, mister. I really am.

Well...

...no harm done, I guess.

You just get your bulldozer
off my property,

and we'll forget the whole thing.

Yes, sir, because it sure would be a shame
to ruin all these beautiful tomatoes.

Well, I'll be...

Twin Fall Beefsteak tomato plants.

You know something about
Twin Fall Beefsteak tomato plants?

I sure do.

I used to help plant them on my Uncle
Clarence's farm back home in Mayberry.

That's Mayberry, North Carolina,
where I come from.

And when we used to harvest them,

we used to get the plumpest, juiciest
tastiest tomatoes in the whole state.

- What did you say your name was?
- Gomer Pyle.

Private First Class Gomer Pyle, that is.

Well, I'm Titus Purcell.
It's good to make your acquaintance.

Tell me something. After you got through
harvesting your Twin Falls Beefsteaks,

did you ever cull out
a few of the overripe ones

and make yourself a tomato pie?

Golly! I haven't tasted a tomato pie
in so long, I forgot how good they are.

Well, it's high time you remembered.

Come on up the house.
I want you to meet the missus.

She always says, "Never turn a trespasser
away on an empty stomach."

And to think I've been here
at Camp Henderson all these years,

and I never seen you once.
Shoot, we're practically neighbors.

Would you like to finish up
the last slice, Gomer?

How about another cup of coffee?

Awful kind of you, Mrs. Purcell,
but I really should be getting back.

Well, we sure enjoyed having you, Gomer.

It's always a pleasure to meet
a nice country boy like you.

Thank you, ma'am.

Nice of you to come in
and sit a spell, Gomer.

And here, Gomer,
I want you to take these along.

I picked them special for you.

Well, you've both been so kind to me.

I sure wish there was some way
I could repay you.

Well, you can best do that by coming back
and paying us a visit sometime.

And bring your friends.

That is, if they got a fancy
for Twin Falls Beefsteak tomatoes.

Well, thank you, and bye.

Bye.

Hey, Sergeant Carter, Corporal Boyle.

Any you fellas
care for a nice ripe tomato?

Pyle, what are you doing back here
so soon?

Did you finish that job?

Sergeant, you'll never guess
what happened.

- You'll just never...
- Pyle.

Guess what happened.

Pyle, I'm not in the mood
for playing games. What happened?

You know that Tract 38 where we was
going to put that launching site?

We're going to have to find
another place for it.

- What?
- That's right.

Tract 38 ain't on the base.
It belongs to a Mr. Purcell.

He's the one that give me these tomatoes.

I don't believe it.

I hear it, but I don't believe it.

I suppose he also owns
a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge?

But it's the truth, Sergeant.

He's got a tomato patch
right smack in the middle of it.

A tomato patch?

Do you know what you ran into, Pyle?

A squatter.

- But, Serge...
- A squatter, Pyle.

How can you be so stupid?

Whoever this clown is, he was lying
in his teeth just to get rid of you.

No, he wasn't, Sergeant.

Mr. Purcell ain't the type of man
to say something he don't mean.

When he tells you something, well,
you've just got to believe him.

Sure, sure.

Now you get back out there
on your bulldozer,

and I'll follow you in the jeep,

because we're going to play a little call
on your friend Mr. Purcell

just so I can personally
toss him off the base,

and you can get on with your job.

Well, Gomer, back so soon,
and you brought a friend.

Well, not a friend, sir.

His sergeant,
which ain't exactly the same thing.

Well, any sergeant of Gomer's
is a friend of ours.

Come on in, boy. Maude?

Maude?

Don't he look honest, Sergeant?

Don't he look like somebody
that belongs on a postage stamp?

Gomer's back, and he brought his sergeant.

Well, Gomer, it's good to see you again.

Sergeant.

Now you all sit down,
and I'll go make some nice fresh coffee.

No, thanks, ma'am.
I didn't come for coffee.

Some of that nice tomato pie
Gomer told you about?

Well, no, sir, he didn't mention any pie.

But he did tell me
that you claimed to own this land.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, sir, according to this map
I've got here,

this land belongs
to the United States Marine Corps.

Well, you better get yourself
another map, son,

'cause that one is dead wrong.

Sir, this map came from
the Printing Office in Washington, DC.

You can't dispute the word
of the Printing Office in Washington, DC.

- That's the government.
- Who says I can't?

The government's just another name
for the people,

and as one of the people,

I say my word is as good as the
government's any day of the week.

Not when it says different in writing.
You see here?

"Property of
the United States of America",

and I'm afraid, sir...

...that makes you a squatter.

Squatter?

Mr. Purcell, now,
don't go taking that the wrong way.

Now, listen here, young fella,
if anybody is squatting, it's you.

Because you're squatting here
in my living room,

which is built on my property.

Look, Mr. Purcell, in three days from now,
we are having maneuvers here.

Not in my living room, you're not.

Oh, he didn't mean that, Mr. Purcell.
He meant...

What I meant, Mr. Purcell,
is that you are in a lot of trouble.

Legally, the government
can charge you back rent

for all the years you've been living here
without them knowing about it.

But we wouldn't want
that to happen, would we?

So... why don't we
just make a little deal?

I won't tell anybody
what you've been doing,

provided you pack up
and leave by tomorrow.

Out.

Get out of my house!

- Look, Mr. Purcell...
- Out.

I said, get out!

- Mr. Purcell, what he...
- I know what he meant.

Get out!

Mr. Purcell, I'm truly sorry about this.

Look, Mr. Purcell,
you haven't heard the end...

Now what do I tell the colonel?

There's a general coming in three days.

Well, tell him the truth.

Tell him that we're trespassing
on Mr. Purcell's property.

It's not his property!
Get that through your head.

It's not his property.

- Get off of my property!
- We're going. We're going!

Let me get this straight, Sergeant.

Are you trying to tell me some farmer

has built himself a shack within
the confines of a military reservation?

Yes, sir.

Of course, I tried to use diplomacy.

I told him he'd have to leave,
but he wouldn't budge.

A farmer growing tomatoes
on Marine property. It doesn't make sense.

Excuse me, sir.

You wouldn't say that
if you could see them tomatoes.

They're just as nice and plump and juicy,

and it ain't a shack they live in,
it's a real proper home.

Well, who are they?
Where did they come from?

Sergeant, we better have the base
legal officer handle this.

If you'll just pick up Lieutenant
Carruthers and drive him out to the farm,

I'm sure he'll send this Purcell fellow
packing in no time.

Well, Gomer, another pleasant surprise.

He's back again.

Yes, sir, and we brought
Lieutenant Carruthers with us.

And if you don't mind us intruding,
well, he'd like a word with you.

You seem like a reasonable,
intelligent man. If you let us in,

I'm sure we can straighten this out
in a matter of minutes.

Well...

I'm sorry, Gomer, you have to leave
with them other fellas,

but you feel free to come back anytime.

You know, I've seen some stubborn,
pig-headed men in my day, Sergeant,

but your friend Purcell
beats them all in spades.

I was afraid something like this
would happen.

- He gave me the same treatment.
- Can't hardly blame him, Sergeant.

After all, it is his property
you're arguing about.

Pyle, get over on that bulldozer
and get in the driver's seat.

- But, Serge...
- You heard me, Pyle.

Get on that bulldozer, because we're
coming back with reinforcements,

and then you can finish your job.

[inaudible speech]

So you see, sir,
despite what you might think,

this land has been the property
of the federal government

for over 100 years, and we have the proof.

- Lieutenant Carruthers?
- Yes, sir.

This is a photostatic copy of a will
dated July 7, 1866,

signed by Mr. Kyle Wetherby,
owner of record of that time,

granting the area
now known as Camp Henderson

to the United States Government.

And I can assure you
it will stand up in any court in the land.

[Colonel Gray] What about that, Mr. Purcell?

Oh...

...it's... it's an authentic copy,
all right.

There must be some mistake, Sergeant.
Mr. Purcell wouldn't lie.

I just know he wouldn't.

I know all about that will.

Because while you was digging up
that piece of paper,

I was doing a little digging up myself.

Now, this here is the original copy
of Kyle Wetherby's will.

Original? I don't understand.
What would you be doing with it?

Well, apparently you fellas didn't bother
to read Paragraph 4, Section 9,

the bottom of Page 12 there.

Now, it says there that when
Kyle Wetherby gave this land away,

he reserved a couple of small sections
for the use of his descendants.

Now, you fellas
might be interested to know

that Kyle Wetherby
was my mother's great-grandpa,

Which makes me a descendent.

And part of the land he left me
he was Tract 38...

...which is about
where you're sitting, Colonel.

What about this, Lieutenant?

Well, assuming that Mr. Purcell is in fact

the lineal descendant of the late
Kyle Wetherby as he alleges to be,

it is conceivable...

Lieutenant, if Mr. Purcell is
the descendent, is this his land?

I'm afraid so, sir.

Then he does own this part of the camp.

Did you hear that, Sergeant?

You see, Colonel, I knew Mr. Purcell
wouldn't lie. I just knew it.

That's the reason I believed him
all along. All along.

- Hey, Mr. Purcell.
- Hello, Gomer.

- Was you looking for me?
- Well, not exactly.

I come over here to talk to your Colonel.
Know where I can find him?

Well, yes, sir.
He's right here in this building.

- I'll take you right to his office.
- Well, I'd appreciate that.

Although I don't think
your colonel's going to appreciate

what I want to talk to him about.

Good to see you, Mr. Purcell.
Won't you sit down?

No, thank you. This ain't a social call.

I see. That will be all, Pyle.

If you don't mind, Colonel,
I'd like for Gomer to stay.

Him being the only one
that believed me in the first place,

I want him in on this.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Purcell,

but it it's about the use of your section
for our rocket launch site,

I want you to know that matter
was straightened out two hours ago.

I was going to send a messenger over
to inform you.

In fairness to you, we're going
to use another part of the base

and forget the whole matter.

Well, ain't that nice, Mr. Purcell?
To forget about it, I mean.

They may want to forget about it,
but I don't.

Colonel, I was brought up
to respect a man's word.

Whatever he said, that was it, his bond.

For two days now, people have
been coming over to my place there,

and I've told them all the same thing,

but not one man, not one soul would take
my word excepting Gomer here.

Now, I don't take
being called a liar easy.

Oh, now, Mr. Purcell,
I'm sure no one meant...

You can't smooth this over.
My mind's made up.

When a Purcell gets pushed
into a corner, he fights back.

That's why I'm claiming all that's mine.

All that's yours? I don't understand.

You got a copy of the will handy?

Why, yes, right here.

Take a look at Page 12,
Paragraph 2, Section 6.

See something that interests you, do you?

This deeds you not only Section 38,

but another section too, Number 104.

That's right.

Now I don't know where 104 is,

but wherever it is,
starting as soon as I can,

I'm planning on planting tomatoes on it.

Shazam!

Section 104
is right under our feet, Colonel.

Headquarters building sitting
smack right dab in the middle of it.

You wouldn't want to plant tomatoes
here, Mr. Purcell.

Would you?

Twin Falls Beefsteak tomatoes.

Is it true?

I'm afraid so, sir.

Legally, headquarters
is on Purcell's land...

...and so is the house
you and Mrs. Gray are living in, sir.

What?

Well, according to the land title,

your house is in the northern boundary
of Tract 104.

Which means he can legally
plant tomatoes in my driveway.

His driveway, sir.

Of course, realistically speaking,

Purcell doesn't stand much of a chance
of making his claim stick.

Since an official military installation
is already here,

he can't really press to evict us.

But the publicity
from such legal procedures

could prove...
well, rather embarrassing just the same.

Lieutenant,
what do you think it would take

to soften Purcell's attitude towards us

to the extent that he'd be willing
to forget the whole thing

and go back to the status quo?

Well, sir, a stubborn,
proud fellow like that?

I think an apology.

An abject apology from the party

Purcell considers responsible
for the situation would do the trick.

Good.

Go and apologize abjectly.

- Sir?
- Lieutenant, we might not be in this mess

if you had bothered
to read that document thoroughly.

- Sir, don't you think...
- Lieutenant,

I want this situation straightened out

before General Cartwright
arrives this afternoon.

I don't want anything like this
hanging over our heads.

- Yes, sir.
- And as you yourself suggested,

Mr. Purcell will be happy
to accept your apology,

and forget the whole thing.
So take care of it, Lieutenant.

Consider it done, sir.

- And stay out!
- But Mr. Purcell, at least let me...

I ain't interested
in none of your apologies.

- But...
- Now, just go and don't ever come back.

Now, scat.

And so apparently, Mr. Purcell

does not consider Lieutenant Carruthers
here the initial offender.

- Sir?
- The one who caused the mess,

who made waves. Meaning you, Sergeant.

You were the first one
to speak to Purcell,

and you obviously
rubbed him the wrong way.

But, sir, do you really think
Purcell will carry out his threat?

Sergeant, the man has a legal document,

and we could be standing
right in the middle of a tomato patch.

Now, General Cartwright
will be arriving in a few hours,

- and I want this matter straightened out.
- Aye, aye, sir.

I'll see if I can smooth things over.

Not if, Sergeant, you will
smooth things over. Is that clear?

Yes, sir, you can count on me.
Consider it done, sir.

And the same goes for you too. Now, out.

Sergeant Carter?

Is everything all cleared up
with Mr. Purcell?

No, Pyle, it's not cleared up.

You know whose fault this whole thing is?

Yours, Pyle, yours.

- Mine, Sergeant?
- Yeah. Yours.

If you hadn't gotten so friendly
with this guy in the first place,

this never would have happened.

You always have to be Mr. Friendly.

Mr. Stupid is what you are.

Mr. Gomer Stupid.

Well, I sure didn't mean
to do anything wrong.

Don't talk. Just don't talk.

In less than one hour,
a general's plane is landing here

and the colonel expects me

to have everything patched up
with your farmer friend.

Thanks a lot, Pyle.

You really did it to me this time.

Thanks!

[clatter]

Get out of here, Pyle. Just get out!

Sergeant?

Yes, sir?

What about the Purcell matter?
Everything straightened out?

Well, sir, I can't honestly say it is,

but if the colonel
will give me a little more time...

You mean,
we're right back where we started?

I'm afraid so, sir.

That's just fine.

General Cartwright's due any minute,

and Purcell could barge in here
waving eviction notices.

Private First Class
Gomer Pyle reporting, sir.

I know I'm supposed to be in formation,

but I've got some good news,
sir, real good news.

At ease.

- It's about Mr. Purcell, sir.
- Oh, really?

Yes, sir, I was just over
talking to him, and guess what?

He ain't mad anymore. Everything's okay.

What happened?

Well, when I got out there,

Mr. Purcell asked me if I was in the mood
for a nice cup of coffee, and I said,

"Well, are you going to have one?
If you're gonna have one, I'll have one."

Then Mrs. Purcell, she brought out
some fresh cinnamon baked apples,

and Mr. Purcell said, "Will you have one?"

I said, "Are you gonna have one?
'cause if you'll have one, I'll have one."

Pyle, what does all that
have to do with it?

Well, it has a whole lot
to do with it, sir.

You see, country folks don't never
sit down to discuss a business matter

without first having a bite to eat.

What business matter?

I hope you don't mind, Colonel,

but golly, we've got to
get them from somewhere,

and I thought we might as well
get them from Mr. Purcell.

Get what from Purcell?
What are you talking about?

Tomatoes, sir.

You see, he never does sell all he grows,

and well, I know we just use tons and tons
up here in the mess hall.

And so we decided the smart thing to do

was to each scratch
the other fella's back.

I told him
if he wouldn't press legal charges

that we'd buy all of his surplus crop.

You mean, that's all it took?

Yes, sir, that's all.

Did you get it in writing, Pyle?

- No, sir, I didn't have to.
- What do you mean?

If you don't have anything on paper,
how do we know we have a deal?

We have a deal, all right.

You see, he believed me,
just like I believed him.

Well, here you are, Sarge,
the monthly report.

What do you say we knock off
and get some chow?

You go ahead, Boyle.

I got myself a sandwich from the diner.

Are you kidding? Buying your lunch

when we got the best cooks in the
Marine Corps right here on this base?

Yeah?

And what are they dishing out lately?

I'll tell you.

For breakfast, tomato juice,
tomato omelets,

and broiled tomatoes on the side.

For lunch, tomato soup, tomato aspic,

tomato salad,
stewed tomatoes, and for dessert,

get this, tomato pie.

I'm just sick of us having to eat our way
out of the mess Pyle got us into.

Hey, Sergeant, Carter, Corporal Boyle.

You'll never guess what happened.
You just never will.

You got lost on the way back
from town in the jeep?

Oh, no, Sergeant, nothing like that.

I stopped off to say hello to Mr. Purcell,
and he had the happiest news.

He's going to stop selling us tomatoes?

Oh, no, Sergeant, just the opposite.

He's doing so well
in the tomato business now

that he's going to take some of
his profits and start growing corn.

Corn?

Yes, sir, and I'm sure I can
make the same deal with him

that I made on the tomatoes.
Won't that be something, though?

Now we can have some corn pancakes,

corn fritters, corn bread...