All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S04E04 Leader of Men 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Why Pyle? Why?

You wanted a hard worker?

Pyle's the hardest worker in my platoon.

I still don't want him in my kitchen.
The guy is trouble.

He's always in some kind of accident.

That's not true.

Not true. Pyle is never in an accident.

He's like the little old lady
driving along the freeway.

He causes accidents,
but he's never in them.

- I want somebody else.
- Look, Charlie, the CO's orders say

you're supposed to get one man
from each platoon.

It doesn't say what kind of a man,
just a man.

And by all legal and military definitions,
Pyle fits that description.

You've got him.

But this officers' breakfast is important.

It's for some real VIPs.

Sure, sure. Probably the head
of the local birdwatchers' society.

That's the kind of VIPs we get.

Oh, Vince, you wouldn't...

Look, Charlie, what are you worried about?

Just put Pyle in the kitchen
peeling potatoes.

That boy peels real good.

And that way
he won't get into any trouble.

So I'm stuck with him, huh?

Maybe any other day,
I wouldn't do this to you,

but this morning my platoon
has got field practice with live grenades.

And I'd feel a whole lot safer

with Pyle in your kitchen
peeling your potatoes

than I would with him in my field
dropping my grenades.

Looks fine, Sergeant, just fine.

I gave it everything I had, sir.

Congressman Travers is a member of a
very important congressional committee.

He'll be accompanied
by Brigadier General Dawson.

Now, this is the first stop
on our tour of inspection.

Wouldn't want anything to go wrong,
now, would we?

- No, sir.
- What about service?

- Service?
- Service.

Yes. Well, I put on an extra waiter
and a busboy,

- and there's special help in the kitchen.
- Coffee.

- Who's in charge of coffee?
- In charge?

Nothing more important to a breakfast
than coffee, piping hot.

As General Dawson's aide,

I can tell you that
that is the one thing he insists on.

In fact, he...

Yes, Private, what is it?

Excuse me. I just wanted to speak to
Sergeant Hacker, but you go right ahead.

- I can wait until you finish.
- No, no. Go ahead.

Yes, sir. Sergeant Hacker,
I just wanted to tell you

that I finished peeling all the potatoes.

And I didn't feel right
standing around the kitchen.

You know what they say.
Satan finds work for idle hands.

Peel the dinner potatoes.

Oh, well, I've already peeled them too.

Fact is, I peeled right though
till tomorrow's lunch.

And I would have done them too,
but we don't have no more potatoes.

There's some cabbage needs chopping.

Done that too.

And I scrubbed the celery, washed the
lettuce and fluffed up the turnip greens.

Well, get in the kitchen.
I'll think of something.

Yes, sir.

- Just a minute, Private.
- Yes, sir?

I have something for you to do.

I'm putting you in charge
of pouring the coffee at breakfast.

Go-o-o-Olly!

But, sir, he hasn't done any...

He's obviously a very willing worker

and just the kind of man
I want at that breakfast.

Private, all you have to do is make sure
those cups are never empty,

that they're kept full of hot coffee.
Understand?

Yes, sir. And I really appreciate
your confidence in me.

Breakfast will be at exactly 08:00.

- Aye, aye, sir.
- Good morning.

He's a real nice feller...

Pyle, you're in charge of coffee, but
that's all. Understand? Nothing else.

- Just pour and keep your mouth shut.
- Yes, sir.

Why did I have to run out of potatoes?

Gentlemen.

Well, this is nice.

I hope you had a nice flight
in from Washington, sir.

Well, it was more than a mite bumpy.
Took a lot out of me.

I feel like I've been rode hard
and put away wet.

[all laughing]

Well, I'm sure a good breakfast
will make you feel a lot better.

Thank you.

Colonel, I hope you haven't got
anything special planned for me.

Well, we did have a few events
scheduled just to...

Well, if it's all the same to you,
I'd rather you wouldn't.

I just kind of like to mosey around

and see the boys
as they go through their regular routine.

Very well.

- It's hot.
- [laughter]

- Would you like some cream and sugar?
- Yes, I would.

Here's the toast.

[chatter]

[polite laughter]

It's all right to sit back in Washington
and make appropriations,

but I always like to go out and see

what the people
are getting for their money.

Now, that's a very worthy sentiment, sir.

Mmm. Just right.

Good.

Of course, general,
I can't always find the time

to make as many trips as I would like to.

Well, we certainly hope you'll be pleased
with what you see here.

I expect I will.

[slurps]

What in tarnation...?

I'm sorry, Congressman. It's all my fault.

I should have remembered
that you are a civilian,

and you don't like your coffee stove hot.

But if you'd like me
to cool it off real quick,

I can saucer and blow it for you.

Pyle, I think you better find
something to do in the kitchen.

- Have somebody else take over here.
- No, no. Please. It's all right.

I'm sure
it wasn't this young fella's fault.

Saucer and blow, huh?

I haven't heard that expression
since I was back home.

Where are you from, son?

Well, I was born on a little farm
just a itty-bitty ways outside Mayberry.

You see, Mayberry's about 30 miles from...

I know exactly where it is.

Why, it's right in the middle
of my district.

You're one of my constituents, son!
I'm Congressman Judson Travers.

Shazam!

Well, I'm Gomer Pyle.
Don't you recognize me?

Well, I don't guess you would,
because I didn't recognize you.

Well, now wait a minute.
I pride myself on my recollection.

But I swear I don't remember
ever speaking to you

or even shaking your hand.

Well, that's 'cause
that wasn't what you did.

Well, what did I do?

- You kissed me.
- I kissed you?

I was just a little bitty baby,

and it was at the 4th of July
Grange Hall Festival.

And right after your speech,
my momma held me up,

and you kissed me right there
on top of my head.

Made my folks so proud.

They ain't never voted
for anybody else since.

Well, I declare, it sure is nice
talking to somebody from back home.

Sit down here
and have some breakfast with me, Gomer.

Waiter, would you please get a chair here?

Well, I couldn't, Congressman.
I just couldn't.

And besides that,
I've already had my breakfast.

Well, that's all right. Sit down here
and talk to me while I have mine.

- You don't mind, do you, gentlemen?
- Well...

- Uh...
- No. Of course they don't. Here.

Get this boy a cup of coffee.

There. Well, now.

Why didn't you tell me about this before,
Boyle? Huh? Why didn't you?

- Because I didn't know about it before.
- Well, that's no excuse.

That's all I need,
a general and a congressman!

Hold it.

Why am I getting excited?

It's Hacker's mess hall.

If anything goes wrong,
he'll get blamed for it.

No, he won't. Pyle's in my platoon.
They'll blame me.

Sure they will.

Wait a minute. Blame me for what?

What could happen?

Pyle's in the kitchen peeling potatoes.

He can't get into any trouble
peeling potatoes.

Yeah. What kind of trouble
can he get into peeling potatoes?

He can get in a lot of trouble.

There's a door that goes from the kitchen
into the officers' mess.

It's all Pyle needs... a door.

He goes through it.

He's in the officers' mess.

He says something. He does something.

He doesn't mean to do it, but he does it,

and there go my stripes,
my pension, my career.

I've got to get over there on the double.

- What are you going to do?
- Nothing.

But if I'm going to get thrown out
of the Marines, I want to know what for!

For no reason at all,

Ida May Kilbourn,
she jilts old Judson Brown

and marries pudge Eaton.

Well, I declare.

Well, Gomer, you sure have
filled me in on the home folks,

but now how about you, Gomer?

Are you happy here in the Marines?

Oh, yes, sir. I sure am.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.
And what rank do you hold?

Oh, I'm moving right along.
I'm Private First Class now.

Private First Class. Well, that's fine.
How long have you been in the Marines?

Over three and a half years.

Three and a half years?

Shouldn't you have been at least
a corporal by this time?

Oh, they'll move me along
as soon as they see fit to.

They just haven't seen fit to yet.

Excuse me, sir. The photographer is here.

You said you wanted some pictures taken.

- Oh, yes. Thank you.
- I'll just get out of your way, sir.

No, you don't.
You sit right down here and pose with me.

You know, this will look real good
in the newspapers back home.

That's it. Now, smile, son.

- Yes, sir.
- Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait.

General, why don't you the colonel

kind of scrunch around here
and get in the picture too?

- All right.
- That's it. Right around here.

That's it, colonel. There.
Now, just put your arm around him

so everybody will look nice
and friendly, like that.

Smile.

Well, gentlemen, I want you to know

that I was real impressed
with what I saw here today.

I just hope
that other Marine installations

I visit here on the coast
will be up to your standards.

Thank you, Congressman.
Thank you very much.

However, there is one little thing
that bothers me.

Now, it may be none of my business,
and I certainly do not want to interfere,

but I just can't figure out
how an intelligent, likeable,

willing young man like Gomer Pyle

hasn't been promoted to corporal yet.

Well, I think I can answer that
for the colonel.

When that much time elapses
without a promotion,

it's usually a disciplinary problem.

Overstaying his leave,
failing to obey orders promptly,

something of that nature.
Isn't that so, Colonel?

Yes, sir. But in Pyle's case,
I can't recall any serious infractions.

Oh, there has to be. I'm sure of it.

If you have the time, Congressman,

we could check Gomer Pyle's
service record right now.

And I'm sure
you'd find that to be the case.

Well, I reckon
I could spare the time for Pyle.

I like that boy.

It's absolutely impeccable.

There's not a mark against him.

Well, I didn't have that good a record
when I first enlisted in the Marines.

I was sure his slate was clean, sir.

Then how do you account for the fact
that he hasn't been promoted?

Yeah. I'm a bit curious myself.

Colonel Gray, can you explain why

a likeable, intelligent,
willing young man like Gomer Pyle

hasn't been promoted to corporal yet?

Captain Myers, can you explain

why a likeable and willing young man
like Gomer Pyle

hasn't been promoted to corporal yet?

Lieutenant Burke, can you explain

why a willing young man like Gomer Pyle
hasn't been promoted to corporal yet?

Sergeant Carter, can you explain

why Gomer Pyle
has not been promoted to corporal yet?

Corporal?

But sir, I had to break my back
just to make him Private First Class.

Well, there goes your back again.

But lieutenant,

a corporal has to be able to take over
the platoon in case of an emergency.

He's got to be a leader.

And that's one thing Pyle ain't.

Sergeant... I'd hate to call you that
for the last time.

Somebody up front wants Pyle advanced,

and when somebody up front
wants something,

it's our job to do it.

- So do it.
- Yes, sir.

Pyle is now your personal problem.

All those sterling qualities of leadership
you have, you will teach to Pyle.

That shouldn't be difficult, should it?

Pyle... remember when you first joined up?

They said it would be impossible
to get you through boot camp.

- But I did it, didn't I?
- Yes, Sergeant.

You sure did.

I guess I must have looked
pretty hopeless then.

Yeah.

Nobody ever thought you would make
Private First Class,

but I got you through that too, didn't I?

That's right.

I guess you might say
you've made me everything I am.

Yeah.

Well... now we're going to do
the impossible again.

You've been in the Marines
for three and a half years now, Pyle,

and it's time you stepped up to corporal.

Corporal?

I don't know, Sergeant.
Ain't you bringing me along too fast?

Well, it's part of my job
to see that you get ahead, Pyle.

Now, you wouldn't want to keep me
from doing my job, would you?

Oh, no, Sergeant.
I wouldn't want to do that.

Okay.

Now, to be a corporal,

you've got to learn
how to be a leader of men,

give orders like I do every morning.

[yelling] Platoon, fall out on the double!
Come on, you knuckleheads!

Move it, move it, move it!

Now you try it.

- Aw, Sergeant...
- Come on, Pyle. Just like I did it.

Well...

Platoon, fall in on the double.

Come on, you knuckleheads.
Move it, move it, move it.

Can't you do better than that?

Can't you at least put a little authority
in your voice?

Now, come on. Let's hear it.

Platoon, fall in on the double.

Come on, you...

Aw, Sergeant.

I just can't.
I never could do it as good as you,

the way your little eyes just squidge up
and get real mean-looking,

and them veins on your forehead
just pop out,

and your hair bristles up just like a hog

that's been rooted
out of its favorite mud hole.

You've just got a natural talent for it,
just a natural talent.

Yeah, I guess I have.

And we're just going to have to find it
somewhere in you.

Now, come on. Let's hear it again.

Platoon, fall in on the double.

Come on, you knuckleheads.

Move it, move it, move it.

[voice getting higher]
Platoon, fall in on the double.

Come on, you knuckleheads.

Move it, move it, move it.

Platoon, fall in...

Move it, move it, move it!

All right, listen up.

Now, I want these barracks
cleaned until they shine.

And I'm leaving a man in charge.

Pyle, step forward.

Yes, sir.

You're in charge of the detail.
You got that?

Pyle is in charge.

But it's just as if I was here.

All right, carry on.

Pyle, what are you doing?

Well, Sergeant, are you sure
you want me to be in charge?

That's right, Pyle.

It's the sink or swim principle.

Throw you in the water,
you learn how to swim.

Put you in charge
and you learn how to lead.

- Now, get back in there.
- Yes, sir.

Wait a minute, fellers. Don't go away.

Sergeant Carter. Sergeant Carter!

Get back in there!

Well, fellers, uh...

I guess I have to give you
your assignments.

Of course, if anybody would like
to volunteer for anything,

it would make it a whole lot easier.

Well, uh, fellers, then I guess

I'll have to give you your orders.

Um...

Buck... you don't mind
doing the windows, do you?

Thank you kindly.

And Marvin,
you do the woodwork, would you?

And Charlie and Jack, if you don't mind,

you all can take care of the sweeping.

And Tony, you do the dusting.

And Phil, well, I guess that leaves you
with scrubbing the floors, okay?

Well, now, is everybody...?

Buck... I think you'll find
you get better results

if you go straight up and down.

And that way
you don't miss any of the corners.

Here, let me show you
how I always do it. See?

If you go straight up and down
like that...

Excuse me just a minute.

Charlie, if you don't mind my saying so,
I think you can do a whole lot better job

if you take long strokes
instead of short ones.

Here, let me show you.
This is the way I always do it.

Now, some folks prefer
going around in circles like this

and others prefer
going up and down like this.

Now, don't ask me to take sides.

- I like them both.
- All right. All right.

- What's going on here?
- Oh, hey, Sergeant.

I'm being a corporal.

Okay, Pyle is going to drill you.

And you will obey his commands
just as if I was giving them,

because I'm going to be standing
right here watching him.

Okay, Pyle, take over.

I said take over.

Detail, ten-hut.

Right shoulder, arms.

One, two, three, four.

Right face.

Forward march.

Hey! Hey, fellers.

You're going the wrong way.
I said turn right.

[Bawling] Detail, halt.

Left face.

Dismissed.

Sergeant, I'm sorry. I thought...

Pyle, the men turned right.

I know, Sergeant, and so did I.
You see, I always drill with them.

I never have drilled facing them before.

If you're facing them,
and you tell them to turn right,

then you got to turn left
if you want to go the same way.

If you tell them to turn left,
then you've got to go right.

That's how it works, isn't it, Sergeant?

Yeah, Pyle. That's how it works.

Well, looks like I've learned
another thing about being a leader.

If you want to do anything,
you've got to do it backwards.

I have had it.

I've had it up to here
and two feet higher.

- Pyle, huh?
- It's always Pyle.

He's the American tsetse fly.

This time I'm giving up on him.
I'm throwing in the towel.

That's it.

If they wanna take away my stripes,
let them. Just let them.

And they might too.
You know who's pushing Pyle for corporal?

Colonel Gray himself.
And you want to know why?

Because that visiting congressman
wants him promoted.

Are you sure about that?

Oh, I got it from highly a confidential
and unimpeachable source...

Scuttlebutt. And you know what else?

They'll probably make Pyle
a corporal anyway.

Hey, that's going to be something to see.

Ha-ha!

Gomer Pyle telling you what to do.

- Boy!
- All right! All right!

You can knock off the laughing while
you've still got teeth to laugh with.

I'm gonna take one more shot at it.
Just one more shot.

Pyle, I'm gonna give you one more chance,

and I'm warning you,
you better not goof it up.

- Now, you're in charge. You got that?
- Yes, sir.

I want you to handle this field exercise
like it was the real thing.

Now, here's the situation.
Our platoon has been cut off.

We're waiting to be evacuated
by helicopter,

but we don't know how long it'll be.
We're surrounded.

The snipers are firing at us
from the grass, from the trees.

- Okay, Pyle. It's all yours.
- Yes, sir.

- Sergeant?
- Pyle, they're firing at us.

Hit the dirt, men.

Well, that was the right move.
Now, what do you do?

Well, you said we were surrounded.

- That's right.
- And there's snipers firing at us

- from the grass and the trees.
- Yeah?

Well, you better take over,
'cause we're in a peck of trouble.

- Pyle!
- But you said you wanted it

handled like the real thing.

And you know right well, Sergeant,
if you're here, you're in charge.

I'm out of action. That's it.
I'm wounded. I'm out of action.

You are in charge.

Well... all right.

Pyle, will you get with it?
Disperse them.

Somebody lobs in a grenade, and pow!
There goes the whole platoon.

Spread 'em out.

Golly, you're right.

Fellers.

Fellers!

I'm sorry, but you're going to
have to spread out. And keep low.

There's a sniper up there.

I remembered that time,
didn't I, Sergeant?

Sure. And how about covering fire?

You see that rise up there?
You better get a man up there.

Well, there could be a sniper up there.

- It could be dangerous, couldn't it?
- Yeah.

Well, I just couldn't pick a man
to do that, Sergeant. I just couldn't.

Give the order.

Well, at least let me ask for a volunteer.

- Okay.
- All right.

I volunteer.

That's it! Everybody up.

The exercise is over.
Come on. Let's move out.

This is it, Pyle. The end of the road.

Okay, let them take my stripes away.

I've had it with you.

I don't care how hard
that congressman friend of yours

is pushing you for promotion.
You're hopeless, Pyle. Hopeless!

- Hi, Sarge.
- Hi.

I know this isn't
going to make you feel any better,

but that congressman is back on the base.
I just saw him.

Sure. He's come back
to check on his pet Marine,

his old home-town buddy.

I also saw Pyle.

He cornered the congressman
in front of the colonel's office,

- and they went in together.
- Well, this is it, Boyle.

The kiss of death. Pyle will tell him
everything and really put the knock on me.

Sarge, aren't you jumping...

[phone rings]

Uh-huh?

Company B, Sergeant Carter.

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

What did I tell you? That was the colonel.
He wants to see me on the double.

Well, I'll tell you something.
I'm going to defend myself.

I'm going to tell him the facts of life,

that even though a Marine sergeant

is supposed to do the impossible,
when it comes to Pyle,

doing the impossible is impossible.

Sergeant Carter reporting as ordered, sir.

At ease, Sergeant.

Sir, do you mind if I say something first?

Not at all. Go ahead.

Well, sir,
I've been in the Marines a long time.

To be exact, it's going on 15 years now.

And all the time I've been in, I've done
everything that's been asked of me.

When I finally got these stripes,
it was the proudest day of my life.

And I think I can honestly say
I've earned every one of them.

You certainly have, Sergeant.
You certainly have.

Sir?

Sergeant, I'd like you to meet
Congressman Travers.

Sergeant, I'm real pleased to know you.

Well, thank you, sir.

You know, Sergeant,
Colonel Gray and Gomer here

have been doing
a real song and dance about you.

They really think you are something.

They do?

I was just telling the congressman here

how hard you tried
to make a leader of out me.

Nobody in the world
could have done any better.

But like Grandma Pyle always says,

no matter how good you are,

you can't get an egg from a rooster.

Now, I'll keep doing my best, Sergeant,
'cause if you want me to be a corporal,

I'll keep trying and trying
until I get to be one,

'cause I want you to be proud of me.

Well, I'm sure
you'll be a credit to the Corps, Pyle.

Well, thank you, Sergeant.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hope someday I can prove worthy
of your faith in me.

I know you'll do just fine, son.

You know, Sergeant,
you two have a wonderful rapport.

Almost like a father and son.

Well, that's part of my job, sir,
to look after him.

Colonel Gray, this time I'm really
going to ask you to do me a little favor.

Now, if it's at all possible
and doesn't interfere with anything,

will you please try and keep Gomer here

in Sergeant Carter's platoon?

They are so right for each other.

I'll do my best to see
that they stay together, sir.

And I'll do my best, sir.

Ten... hut!

Right face.

Forward march.

[indistinct commands]

Ten... halt.

Pyle, what are you grinning about?
Is something funny?

- No, sir.
- Then what? What?

Well, I just feel good is all.
I feel good that you're giving the orders

- and I'm just following them.
- Yeah?

Well, you ain't going to feel so good

if you don't wipe that stupid grin
off your face.

When you are marching,
you will keep your eyes straight ahead,

and your mouth will not be stretched out
in anything resembling a grin.

You're still doing it, Pyle.
You're still doing it.

Well, I just can't help myself, Sergeant.

Your yelling at me
is just like sweet music to my ears.

It makes me feel safe and secure
is what, safe and secure.