All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S03E24 Gomer the Welsh Rarebit Fiend 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

Excuse me, Sergeant.

Private Slater reporting
to pick up a pass, Sarge.

Huh?

Oh, yeah, Slater.

Here you are.

Me too, Sergeant.

You, Pyle?

You really think you deserve a pass

after what happened out on
the infiltration course this afternoon?

- Sir?
- The barbed wire, Pyle, the barbed wire.

Them big wire fences
with all the sharp little things?

Or maybe you don't remember

I had to crawl 100 yards on my belly
to turn you loose.

- Oh, that.
- Yeah, that.

And that and that and that.

Golly, Sergeant, you know how sorry I am.

I didn't mean to get you hung up, too.

Here, take your pass, Pyle.

The further away from here you are,
the better I like it.

Yes, sir.

And, Sergeant, all those things
you said to me out there today,

about being an awful,
terrible specimen of a soldier?

I deserved it.
I deserved every word of it.

Look, Pyle, beat it, will you,
before I change my mind?

Yes, sir.

I just didn't want you to think
I didn't appreciate your criticism.

'Cause it's not every sergeant
that pays that much attention to one man.

Pyle, if you're not out of here
in exactly one second...

See there, that's just what
I was talking about.

Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!

Well, so much for the tender farewells.

Where you off to, Gome?

Oh, well, I just thought I'd go into town
and investigate something, that's all.

Oh, yeah, what's that?

Gosh, Duke.

I really oughtn't say right now.

Huh?

But if it's any good,
you'll be the first to know about it,

and that's a promise.

Come on, Gome, now you got me curious.
Give me a little hint.

No, Duke.

It's just that I want to make sure
about it first myself

before I say anything.

You're certainly turning into
a man of mystery.

Well, it's not that, Duke,
it's just that there's a lot of difference

between a rumor and a fact.
And so far, all I know is just a rumor.

Well, at least we can take the bus
into town together.

Oh, uh, Gomer, if it's the new
coffee and cake out at the YWCA,

you don't have to worry.
I already know about that.

Oh, it's something different, Duke,
something entirely different.

Ma'am.

Don't tell me you're ready for dessert?

Well, to tell you the truth, ma'am,

I thought I'd have another order
of the very same thing.

Another Welsh rarebit?

Ma'am, you're looking at
a Welsh rarebit fiend.

I just can't help myself.

- Is that so?
- It's just awful, ain't it?

I don't know when I've been
so ashamed of myself.

It's gluttony, just pure gluttony.

What?

For not being able to control my craving
for Welsh rarebit.

I can eat it till the cows come home,
if it's good.

And yours is good,
just like I heard it was.

Well, thank you.

My sister and I could always
do with compliments like that.

I'll let you in on something else, too.

Welsh rarebit is my one vice in life,

no matter how hard I try to stop myself.

Now really, young man,

I don't think
that's such a terrible thing.

Oh, it is, it's terrible,
terrible, terrible.

My goodness, you weren't joking
when you said was a Welsh rarebit fiend.

Well, it's terrible, ain't it,
just terrible.

Oh, I don't know.

You're a Marine, you're supposed to eat.

Just so long as it doesn't affect you.

Affect me? How could it affect me?

You know, at night.

Ma'am?

They say the Welsh rarebit
gives you bad dreams.

Oh, that.

I've heard about that.

I suspect it's just a big fairy tale.

Well, I don't know about that.

I'll never forget what happened
one night to Mr. Jennings.

He was my first husband.

Poor man.

Anyway, he ate Welsh rarebit
for dinner, just like you're doing,

and you won't believe what happened.

What?

I woke up at 2:00 in the morning.

There he was,

painting the kitchen walls...

in his pajamas.

2:00 in the morning,

and his eyes wide open.

You mean, he was asleep?

Sound asleep.

I had to shake the ladder to wake him up.

- Really?
- Yes, indeed.

I never did feed him Welsh rarebit again.

- And you know what?
- What?

He never did finish painting the kitchen.

[muttering]

[banging on door]

- What's that?
- I don't know.

Coming!

I'm coming, I'm com... Oh!

Get that, Boyle, get it.

Pyle, what is this?
Do you know what time it is?

Yes, I do. Sergeant, it's high time
you and I set things straight

about what happened out there
on that infiltration course yesterday.

- Huh?
- Sergeant Carter, I just want you to know

that I think the punishment
you gave me was unfair.

You had no right to talk to me
the way you did, no right whatsoever.

- Pyle...
- I resented it, Sergeant.

You talked to me like
I was still wet behind the ears.

Well, let me just tell you one thing.

A man's got a right to make a mistake
now and then. Any man.

- Pyle...
- I mean it, Sergeant.

Don't try to make up with me now.
You pushed me too far yesterday,

- and you know it.
- If you think...

I don't want to hear it, Sergeant.
I've heard all I want to hear from you.

You just remember one thing.
I'm a human being with human feelings.

You just remember that, Sergeant.
Remember that. You got it?

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

- Yeah.
- I'll kill him!

I'll shove a dishonorable discharge
down his throat so fast...

- Sarge, wait, listen.
- What for?

- You heard him, didn't you?
- I know, I know.

- But did you see his face?
- Yeah.

- And for the last time too.
- No, no, he had a kind of a glazed look.

So what? He always has a glazed look.
He was born with a glazed look. Come on!

- We're gonna settle his hash right now!
- Sarge, wait a minute.

I tell you,
there was something funny about Pyle.

- Not to me.
- Sarge, will you listen?

He was asleep, sound asleep.

- Huh?
- So help me, Sarge.

He was either asleep or out of his mind.

I'll give you that one.
That one I'll give you.

- He's out of his skull all right.
- Okay, go ahead.

I bet he's back in his bunk right now.

[whispers] See?

How do you know
he's not putting one over on us?

Okay, Pyle, the joke's over.

Okay, Pyle, enough is enough.

Oh, hey, Sergeant.

Yeah, Pyle, it's me, in the flesh.

It seems we have
a little difference of opinion

about my methods
of running the platoon, don't it?

Huh?

It seems you don't like the way I handled
things out on the infiltration course.

It seems I'm picking on you too much.

Well...

where in the world
did you get an idea like that?

Pyle, just tell me one thing.
What time did you hit the sack?

About 9:30, 9:35.

Been sleeping like a top ever since.

You didn't leave your bunk?

Well, no, Sergeant.

You didn't leave your barracks?
Is that what you're saying?

No, Sergeant, I'm positive.
Where would I go?

You've been asleep?

You've really been asleep all this time?

Well, absolutely. Why, what's wrong?

Huh...

Nothing.
Forget about it, go back to sleep.

I don't get it.

- You know what I think?
- Huh?

I think we got a sleepwalker on our hands.

- A sleepwalker?
- Well, what else?

Pyle storms in at 1 :00 in the morning,
tells you off,

walks out again, and then we find him
sound asleep like nothing ever happened.

Yeah. He really looked like
he was asleep, all right.

Right. A case of somnambulism
if ever I heard of one.

That too?

Hey, ma'am.

Don't tell me you're back for more.

Yes, ma'am, one order
of Welsh rarebit, please.

I take it no bad dreams last night?

No, ma'am.
Matter of fact, I never slept better.

Well, good. By the way, will you
be wanting more than one portion tonight?

Oh, I know I'm gonna want more,
but I don't think I'm gonna have time.

You see, we're going out on night bivouac

and the sergeant warned me
I better not be late, or else.

- Right.
- But I'll make up for it tomorrow night.

- You can be sure of that.
- A Welsh rarebit fiend.

Gluttony, gluttony, gluttony.

[insects chirp]

You say Pyle checked in on time?

Ten minutes early, to be exact.

Well, thank goodness
for little things, eh?

What do you say we call it a night?

Well, everything looks like
in good shape to me, Sarge.

[Gomer] Vince!

It's me, Pyle. I want to talk to you.

- Vince?
- You just listen to me, Sergeant.

You're always complaining I'm never
on time. Well, let me ask you something.

- Huh?
- Have I ever been late, Sergeant,

ever in my whole life? Huh, huh?
Come on, speak up. Cat got your tongue?

Look... I'll tell you, Sergeant.

No! N-O!

I've never been late for anything,
and you know it,

so if you got any ideas
about fussing at me,

just forget about it. You got that? Just
forget about it. That's all I got to say!

Did you hear that?

Huh? Did you hear that?

- Sarge, where you going?
- Where am I going?

I'm gonna throw that meathead
in the brig so fast...

Wait, Sarge! It's the same as last time.
He's asleep again.

- His eyes are wide open!
- Right, just like last time.

That's what they say about sleepwalkers.
They do everything with their eyes open,

- only they don't know it.
- But I know it!

Right. There's very little
you can do about it.

Then I'm going to find somebody
who can do something about it!

You say you've never noticed
this behavior before?

No, sir. He's always slept like a log.

As a matter of fact,

it usually takes a 21-gun salute
to wake him up.

I see.

You don't think
it's anything serious, do you, sir?

No, it's not likely.

Occasional sleepwalking when there's
no prior history to such behavior

is usually due to some temporary stimulus.

Sir?

Well, sometimes the body's chemical
equilibrium can be thrown off balance

by a reaction to some specific
type of food or drink.

Do you know anything about his off-base
habits lately? Where he's been going?

Uh... no, sir, not really.
I mean, he don't talk about 'em.

I'd look into it, Sergeant,

especially since it could
affect his future in the Corps.

Sir?

If there's no improvement
in his condition,

we may have no alternative
but to discharge him.

- Discharge him?
- That's right.

You know, a sleepwalker
can be a hazard in a combat unit.

Why, he could jeopardize the safety
of every single man in his outfit.

Isn't that so?

Oh, yeah, that's true, sir,

and if there's one thing a combat outfit
don't need, it's jeopardizing.

That's why I say keep an eye on him,
for everybody's sake.

Oh, I will, sir, I will.

Sleepwalkers have to be discharged, huh?

I would say so.

- Hey, Sergeant.
- Goodbye, Pyle.

- What was that, Sergeant?
- Huh? What was what?

You said goodbye.

Oh.

Well, I was just thinking, Pyle.

Just thinking.

That's what I thought.
Just what the doc said.

Pyle's sleepwalking
is probably caused by something he ate.

It's just a temporary thing.

Yeah, right.

So all you got to do is find out
exactly what it is he's been eating.

Uh-uh.

- Huh? What do you mean?
- Uh-uh.

That's what I mean. Uh-uh.

You mean you don't intend to investigate
Pyle's sleepwalking?

What for? What's to investigate?

Come on, Sarge, you can't have him
bounced out of the Corps

just because of something he ate.

Look, I can't have a sleepwalker
in my outfit.

When the doc says it ain't safe,
that's it.

It ain't my decision anymore.

Right, but according to the doc,
maybe you could just snap him out of it

if you find out
what it is that doesn't agree with him.

So, what if I do find out?

I got to think of the platoon's jeopardy.

The platoon's what?

Jeopardy. Jeopardy.

That's a medical term for what's going
to happen to the platoon out in the field

if Pyle starts to sleepwalk.

Come on, Sarge, aren't you
taking an awful to for granted?

For all we know,
it may be too many strawberry sodas.

Well, that's his problem.

But, Sarge, you've got to investigate.

You're not the type of guy to toss
a fellow Marine aside like an old shoe.

I think you owe it to a guy
who's been in the outfit as long as Pyle.

What do I owe him? I owe the platoon more.

If he's going to be
a threat to the platoon,

then there's only one thing to do.

Get rid of him, like the doctor said.

But the doctor also said
it could just be temporary

and maybe you could find out
the reason for it.

But I guess you can use that
as your excuse for getting rid of Pyle,

which is really
what you want to do, right?

- Look, Boyle...
- Excuse me, Sergeant.

Oh, Pyle. What do you want?

Well, I just came by to pick up my pass
for tonight, if that's all right with you.

Oh?

Well, uh...

All right, Pyle.

There you are.

Thank you, Sergeant. Thank you kindly.

- Pyle.
- Yes, Sergeant?

You know, Pyle,
I've been meaning to ask you...

what have you been up to lately?

All of a sudden,
you're running into town every night.

Well... nothing much.

Just the usual movie
and strawberry soda, huh?

Well... not exactly.

You mean you've given up
on the milk shakes?

No, Sergeant,
I still like them as much as I ever did.

Uh-huh.

Well, good night.

Boy, you sure seem to be in hurry.

Like you got something special going on.

Oh, no, Sergeant.

It's just that I didn't want
to miss my bus.

Well, good night.

Pyle, you still haven't told me
where you're going.

Well, it... it's a new place, Sergeant.

You mean for dinner, that kind of thing?

Yes, sir, that's it.

Well, good night.

Oh, well, don't let me hold you up.

You run along before you miss your bus.

Well, good night, Sergeant Carter,
Corporal Boyle.

Y'all have a nice evening.

A new restaurant, huh?

You know, the doc said it.

He's reacting to some temporary stimulus.

That must be some pretty good
temporary stimulus,

if you know what I mean.

Come on, let's find out what it is
before he gets arrested.

Do you know what I think, Boyle?

- It looks like a front to me.
- A front? For what?

Who knows. It could be a lot of things.

And just how do you figure that?

The smile... the smile on Pyle's kisser.

Strawberry sodas don't put you
in seventh heaven like that.

Come on, Sarge! Pyle, sweet innocent Pyle?

Look, I only know one thing.
Sweet innocent Pyle has been yelling at me

for two nights in a row.

And that kind of courage you don't get
from sniffing ketchup bottles.

- Hey, he's paying the check.
- Huh?

- See you again tomorrow night?
- Yes, ma'am.

'Cause it usually takes me a good week

to eat myself out of a taste for something
I like as much as Welsh rarebit.

Good. See you then.

- Ain't you gonna say what you usually say?
- What's that?

Oh!

Pleasant dreams.

Thank you, ma'am, thank you.

I don't know, Sarge.
Pyle sure looks okay to me.

- Sure he does.
- And that dame serving him,

- she looked okay, too.
- Sure she does.

- You mean, you suspect her?
- What are you, a babe in the woods?

- Don't you read the papers?
- What?

She looks like a nice old lady
who runs a tea room.

Uh-huh, and you never heard
of nice little old ladies

who hold up banks?

Nice little old ladies
who commit murder, huh?

- That nice little old lady?
- I don't know.

I can tell you better if I see her cellar.

- You really think this joint is a front?
- What else?

Whatever he's getting here
don't take effect until around bedtime.

Come on, now's the time to find out
what it is he's taking.

Oh! Oh, come in, boys.

Sit down, make yourselves comfortable.

- Thank you.
- Would you boys like to see a menu?

No, thanks.

Why don't you just bring us the usual?

The usual?

You know, what that Marine had.

You know, the Marine that was in here.

Oh, you, too?

Yeah, me, too.

Well, so you're another one.

Yeah. [chuckles]

I'm another one all right.

Do you think you can handle it as well
as that other Marine?

Oh, yeah, sure.

- Even better.
- You, too?

Hmm? Oh, no, nothing for me.
Thank you, ma'am.

You know, I was wondering...

...where do you serve it?

- Where do you want it?
- Where does the Marine have it?

Right here.

That's where I'll have it.

Huh? What do you think it is?

I don't know.

But I figure it's got to be something
you eat, drink or smoke.

But if it's what you think it is,
what are you going to do?

- She's coming right back with some.
- Right.

So all I got to do
is wait until she turns her back,

then slip a sample into my pocket

and rush it over to the doctor
to have it analyzed.

Hey, I never thought of that.

[sniffs]

- What's that?
- That's what you ordered. Welsh rarebit.

[chuckles]

[laughing]

- What's so funny?
- So that's it.

- So that's what?
- That's what's giving Pyle nightmares.

Haven't you heard the old story
about Welsh rarebit?

- Huh?
- Well, yeah, it's supposed to make you

dream like crazy. Didn't you know?

Oh, come on, Boyle, you don't expect me
to believe that, do you?

This is the 20th century, remember?

Look, all I know is,
I've been hearing it for years

and it looks like Pyle's proving it true.

You've been fighting pretty hard
for Pyle lately.

You've been leaning over backwards
trying to defend him

- like he was a relative or something.
- I'm just trying to be fair, that's all.

Look, the fact remains,
Pyle has turned into a sleepwalker.

And if you think
this stuff is all it took, you're crazy.

And I'll prove it to you.

I'll prove it to you just to show you
that I'm as fair as they come.

Watch, Boyle.
I'm going to eat some of this stuff

just to show you
that we know only two facts for certain.

One, Pyle is a bona fide sleepwalker,

and two, this is a plate of Welsh rarebit.

And three... it's very hot! Boy!

[ticking]

[muttering]

[muttering]

[muttering continues]

Hey, Gomer.

We're gonna settle this thing
here and now.

- Here and now.
- Sure, sure.

You say what you have to say
and I'll just wait till you're finished.

Darn right you'll wait till I finish.

It's time I straightened you out
about the way you been treating me.

I know, and I'm sorry about that.

You said
you was gonna wait till I finished.

I know, but I just thought...

Knock it off!

I'm gonna tell you something
right here and now.

You better start
having a little more confidence in me,

because I've had it
with your suspicions and mistrust.

- Do you read me?
- Well, yes, I do.

What was that, Sergeant? What did you say?

- I said, yes, I do.
- I can't hear you!

Let's hear it, Carter!
You just gonna stand there?

Well, no, Pyle.

I just want to say
I really appreciate your criticism.

- Carter...
- It isn't every private

that would go to all that trouble,

and I just want to say,
thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now you've said it,
so head on back to the duty hut.

Go on, move it, move it, move it!

Hey, Sarge, Pyle!

Hey, wake up, Sarge.

- Boyle... you?
- Yeah, me.

- It's 3:00 in the morning. Look at you.
- Hey, Corporal Boyle.

- What is this? What's going on here?
- You don't know?

What am I doing out here?
How did I get out here?

I'll tell you what got you out here,
a plate of Welsh rarebit, that's what.

- Huh?
- Yeah, and you too, Pyle.

Boy, that Welsh rarebit
was working great tonight, I can see that.

- What?
- Yeah, you two guys

were doing a little sleepwalking
and dreaming dreams you'd never believe.

You mean it's true
about the Welsh rarebit?

It's really true?

Sergeant, you mean you had
a plate of that Welsh rarebit?

I never did believe that story either.

But I guess it's true,
on account of look at us.

Well, how about that!
I never would have believed it.

Pyle, you get back to your quarters
this minute, you hear me?

- But, Sergeant...
- Knock it off!

If you think I'm gonna stand out here
in the middle of the night

listening to you jabber away,
you're crazy. Now move!

- But, Sergeant...
- Come on, let's go!

Move, move, move, move, move! Move it!

That's more like it.

[Carter] Move it! Move, move, move!

[bugle playing reveille]

[Carter's voice] All right,
you knuckleheads! You heard that bugle!

Get out of those sacks
and fall in on the double!

Let's go! Move it, move it, move it!

Did you hear me? I said move!

[whistle blowing]

Let's go you knuckleheads, on the double!

Go! Go! Go!

Carter, you knucklehead! You lame-brain!

Is that the way you fall out for reveille,
in your underwear?

What are you, stupid?
Well, talk, man, talk!

[Gomer's voice] I'm sorry, sir.
I'm as sorry as I can be.

Sorry? You're sorry?

I'll give you something to be sorry about.

Get some clothes on you
on the double, you hear me?

Right, sir. Right away, Sergeant.
I'll do it as fast as I can.

Well, what are you standing there for
like a dumbbell?

You need some help?
Okay, I'll give you some!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Sarge, you all right?
- Hmm?

Huh? Huh?

I thought you were feeling sick,
so I let you sleep.

But I heard you yell a couple of times.

Are you okay? Are you all right?

Oh, Pyle is here reporting for those
extra duties you said you want him to do.

- Say something.
- Huh?

I want him to talk. Say something.

Say, "Good morning."

[normal voice] Good morning, Sergeant.

Good morning, Pyle.

Sarge, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.