All language subtitles for Gomer Pyle U S M C S03E21 Gomer the Card Shark 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track5_[eng]

[marching band plays]

[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.

[music continues]

Let's see, now.

I'll have a bowl of chili

and a banana split
with lots of whipped cream.

Right.

And don't forget to
put chopped onions on the top.

Of the chili, that is,
not the banana split.

No kidding? Anything else?

Yeah, would you bring the chili
and the banana split at the same time?

I eat them together.

Oh, I'll bring them,
but I'm not going to watch.

[smooth jazz music plays]

- Oh, hey, Duke.
- Hey, Gomer.

Boy, you sure missed a good movie tonight.

Yeah?

Yeah, it was about this lady spy,

and she done away
with seven different fellas.

She poisoned them
and stabbed them and shot them.

- What movie is that?
- Love in Madrid.

Well, I wish I'd gone with you, Gomer.
I really, really do.

Why, what'd you do?

Oh, some sailor was running
a poker game in his hotel room

down the street and I got cleaned out.

I even lost my watch.

You didn't.

This guy had unbelievable good luck.
He cleaned everybody out.

I lost $75.

Why, Duke, that's terrible.

Plus my watch,
that's another nine dollars.

Terrible, terrible, terrible.

Don't you know that no good
ever comes from gambling?

Gomer, please,
I feel bad enough losing the money

without getting a lecture on top of it.

Here's you order.

Anything for you?

Yeah, I'll have a glass of water
and a toothpick. That's all I can afford.

Well, I'd be glad
to lend you something, Duke.

No thanks, Gomer. I've got no appetite.

Banana split and chili.

I mean, I really got no appetite.

Gomer, that's him,
that's Evans the sailor.

That's the guy that won all the money.
That's his wife with him.

Excuse me, will you, honey?
I see a client of mine over there.

Well, hurry it up. I'm hungry.

- Hi, boys.
- Hi.

Say, you ran into
some tough luck tonight, huh?

- I'm very sorry about that.
- Yeah, well, live and learn.

You couldn't seem to
catch a hand all night.

Well, that's too bad.

Well, maybe you'll get even tomorrow, huh?

There'll be another game,
same time, same place.

No, there's no tomorrow for me, I'm flat.

Well, payday's in
a couple of days, isn't it?

Maybe we'll see you then.

Well, don't count on it.

Here, boys, let me take your check.

Oh, wait a minute, that's mine.

Forget it, it's on me.

Why'd he do that, Duke?
Why'd he take my check?

Don't worry, he can afford it.
That just shows you how lousy my luck is.

He picked up the check,
I didn't even order.

Gomer, you got 15 cents I can borrow?

I'm going back to base.

III-gotten gains.

I hope he's happy
with his ill-gotten gains.

So then I pull this hand,
a house full, aces over tens.

So I think I got it made.

Well, all of a sudden, in--

Oh, uh, excuse me.
Am I breaking up something?

- I can come back later.
- Oh, no, Sergeant Carter.

Duke here was just telling us about
a terrible experience he had last night.

- Gomer
- Really?

He's about to have
another terrible experience.

And that goes
for the rest of you knuckleheads

if you don't can the chatter.

But nothing could be as terrible
as the experience he had, Sergeant.

That's enough, Gomer.

Really?

Well, now you got me interested.

Just what was the terrible experience?

- Well
- Go on, Duke.

Tell the sergeant what happened to you.

Well, it was just

He lost $75 in a card game, is what.

[Carter] Huh?

And tell him what else you lost, Duke.
He lost his wristwatch.

And guess who he lost it to? Tell him.
A sailor.

A sailor?

You let a sailor clean you out?

Oh, boy, that's the end.

When are you knuckleheads going to learn

that you don't play poker
if you don't know how?

What is this, a regular game?
Are they going to play again tonight?

Yeah, Sarge, but you better take it easy.

This guy is pretty
lucky and he seems to enjoy

taking it out on Marines;
he cleaned out a few guys

in Sergeant Persky's platoon.

Oh, really?

Sergeant Carter, you're not planning

on going up there
and gamble, too, are you?

Well, it wouldn't really
be gambling, Pyle.

It'd be more like a mission.

A mission with two objectives:

one, to get some of that Marine money back
and two, to teach that sailor a lesson.

Well, if you have to do it,
just remember one thing, though, Sergeant:

"True luck consists not in holding
the best of cards at the table.

Luckiest is he who knows
when he rise and go home."

I'll remember that, Pyle.

Will you, Sergeant? It's easy.

"True luck consists not--"
- Knock it off!

[mysterious music plays]

I, uh, heard there's
a poker game going on.

Room for one more?

Yeah, I think there's a seat open.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Sorry, Sarge, but that's the way it goes.

Better luck next time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gee, I sure hope the sarge
has better luck than I did.

He may not, Duke. You know what they say:
"Lucky in love, unlucky in cards."

And you know
Sergeant Carter's a lucky lover.

Hi, Sarge, how'd you do?

Did you remember, Sergeant?
Did you remember when to rise and go home?

I lost $80 and both of you shut up.

Then you didn't remember, Sergeant.

It was, "True luck consists not in--"

Knock it off, Pyle!

I was right, Sarge.
That Evans is a slick poker player.

- He is, isn't he?
- He's more than slick.

He's a lot more than slick.

What do you mean?

Well, I can't prove it, but the cards
don't fall that way all by themselves.

This guy was breaking the law of averages,
if you know what I mean?

Yeah, I think that's it.

I mean, if both of us got cleaned out,

there must be something
phony about this guy.

If I was you, Sergeant Carter,

I'd have spoke right up
and told him what was on my mind.

I would have said, "Listen,
I don't think you're playing honest."

You can't do that, Pyle.

You got to have more than suspicion,

you've got to have proof
and I don't have it.

But I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to spread the word
around the base.

This guy won't have any
of our guys playing with him.

Well, I should think not.

Sarge, guess who just walked in.

Yeah. The game probably just broke up.

Come on, let's get out of here.

But, Sergeant, it's still early and I
don't think I'll go back to the base yet.

I may stay here and have
another soda or something.

- Is that all right with you?
- That's all right.

- Oh, and sergeant?
- Yeah?

Here's a quarter.

Fifteen cents for the bus fare

and an extra dime in if you
want a candy bar or something.

Here, take it.

You don't have to worry
about paying me till payday.

You're a sport.

- Come on, Slater.
- See you, Gomer.

Hey there.

Hey, what do you say?

Is it okay if I sit down?
I'd like to talk to you a minute.

Well, I'm kind of busy right now.

I was going to have something to eat.
Is it important?

Well, I think so.

It's about your reputation
and I think that's very important.

What are you talking about, man?

Well, I'm going to tell you
this straight to your face

'cause I think that's the best way to do
in a case like this.

Back home we never say
anything behind somebody's back

that we wouldn't say in front to him.

What are you talking about, man?

Well, you've been playing cards
with my sergeant and my buddy over there,

and they've got an idea
you haven't been playing fair.

- What?
- That's right.

And they're going to spread the word all
over the base so nobody will play again.

Are you kidding? They're saying that?

That's what they said.

But it's luck, it's just pure luck.
Listen, you've got couple of minutes?

Why don't you come up
to the hotel with me?

I want to prove
something to you right now.

Well, I better get back to the base.

Now wait a minute.
You just made a very serious charge.

You've got to give me a chance
to straighten this thing out.

This is important to me.
What's your name, buddy?

Gomer. Gomer Pyle.

Well, come on, Pyle.
You come up to the hotel with me.

You've got to give me
a chance to set this thing straight.

You'll see.

Come on in, Pyle.

Oh, honey, this is a friend of mine.
This is Gomer Pyle.

Gomer, this is my wife, this is Shelia.

- Hey, ma'am.
- Hello.

Honey, would you excuse us please
for a few minutes?

Gomer and I have
a little private matter to discuss.

Oh, yeah, sure.

You know, our home is in Montana,
but when the fleet's in, you see,

Shelia come down,
we rent this little place in town here.

Oh, I see, that's nice.

Sit down, Gomer.

Now, listen,
you know what you said downstairs,

that's a terrible thing to spread around.

Frankly, I like to play cards.

Playing cards is a hobby of mine.

And if you spread a rumor
like that around, Gomer,

well, pretty soon, I won't
have any hobby anymore.

Well, I sure wouldn't want to do that.

But how come you win all the time?
Tell me that.

I'm a lucky guy, that's how come.

Some guys are lucky, some guys aren't.

Now, you play cards, don't you?

Oh, yeah. I play Fish sometimes.

But if there's more than four
of us we play Spit in the Ocean.

Yeah, well Look, do you play Blackjack?

- Oh, no.
- Well, I'll show you.

The object of the game is to get 21
or close to it, but not over.

Now, let's try this.

Now let's see.

Now you got 20. Now that's very good.

Now, I have

I have 12.
Now I have to take another card.

King, now that's ten,
so I lose because I went over.

You see, it's just a matter of luck.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Now suppose we were
to play for a little money?

Oh, I never gamble.

It's not really gambling, Gomer.

I mean, it's like a test, you see.

Pretend like you're in a laboratory

and we're making a test to
prove if a guy's lucky or not.

Oh, well, I don't know.

Well, look, I'll put up a nickel for you.

And we'll just try it
a couple of times, okay?

I want to prove to you
that this game is just plain luck.

What luck.

What unbelievable luck, blackjack again.

Well, that proves it, doesn't it, Gomer?
You're a lucky guy.

You know, if your friends
would've been that lucky,

they would have won, too,
instead of losing.

I guess so.

And I sure am sorry.

Here, take your money back.

Oh, no, no, that's not
my money, that's yours.

You won it fair and square.

But I can't take it.

Why, you even gave me the money
to start out with. It was a test.

Well, look, Gomer,
if it'll make you any happier,

I'll take my nickel back.

Okay, now we're even.

But there must be more than $50 here.

Listen, why don't you take this money
back to your friends at the base.

It'll kind of make up part
of what they lost, okay?

Well, all right.

But I really do have to be going now.

Well, okay, Gomer,

and thanks for letting me
clear myself, okay?

- Oh, Shelia?
- Yeah?

You want to say good night to Gomer?
He's just leaving.

- Good night, ma'am.
- Good night.

And I sure do feel bad
about coming up here

and winning all this money from
your husband, but he insisted.

He did?

Well, I'll see you all.

What was that all about?

Oh, nothing. I was just
putting a little money

back into the business, that's all.

How do you mean?

Well, the dope there just tipped me off

that the suckers back at the base
were getting a little restless.

They think I'm not playing an honest game.

Oh, no, Pete.

Don't worry about a thing, baby.

I just let the rube win a little money
to prove that I was straight.

Everything's okay now.

Pete, I don't like it.

They're getting wise to you,
just like they did in Jersey.

What are you talking about?

I told you I fixed it.

When the rube shows
the dough back at the base,

we're home free.

No, let's get out of this place.

I never did like this set up
and that phony sailor suit.

Look, do you think I'm going to blow
this town two days before payday?

Do you know they get
paid the day after tomorrow?

Look, when we leave this town,
we're going to leave with a bundle.

And you know that dope,
that Gomer Pyle that just left here?

He's the one
that's going to help us do it.

Yeah.

You won all this dough, Pyle, from Evans?

That's right, Sergeant, playing blackjack.

That's where you get
as close to 21 as you can.

You see, the ace counts for--

Yeah, yeah, I know what blackjack is.
What I want to know is--

There's 52 bucks here, Sarge.

Fifty-two bucks?

How come you played him, Pyle?
You never gamble.

That's right, I don't,
but it really wasn't like gambling.

It was like a laboratory,
and we was doing a test.

- A test?
- That's right.

A test to prove
that card play is just a matter of luck.

The only reason I accepted this money

was to get back part of
yours and Duke's losings.

Did I did wrong, Sergeant?

Well, I don't know.

What do you think, Boyle?

I'll tell you what I think.

I think he was setting you up.

Sir?

I mean, he let you win.

So he can take more
dough away from you later.

- How can you do a thing like that?
- It's the simplest thing in the world.

He dealt you good cards, that's all.

But he didn't deal all the time.
I dealt, too.

And besides that, I really
am lucky at games, Sergeant.

Back home when we used to
play scissors, paper and stone,

I used to win almost all the time.

Huh?

Don't you remember that game?

Scissors cuts paper, paper wraps stone,

stone dulls scissors.

See, if I throw out scissors,
and you throw out paper,

then I get to slap you
on the wrist like this.

Pyle!

Oh, excuse me.
I didn't mean to do it that hard.

I really am lucky, though, Sergeant.
I've always been lucky.

Kids back home used to get
mad at me 'cause I was so lucky.

Listen, Pyle, I'll tell you what.

Let's prove something to ourselves.

You take this dough and go back up there
and play that guy again.

But I don't want to
gamble anymore, Sergeant.

Only did it to get back your losings.

Do it as a favor to me, will you?
Like a test.

You did one test. Well, do one more.

We got to make sure this
guy's on the up-and-up.

You don't want him going
around cheating Marines, do you?

- Well
- And this time, play him poker.

But Sergeant Carter,
I don't even know how to play poker.

You don't'?

Well, it's very simple.

[clears throat]

Now

the dealer deals five cards to each man.

Boy, talk about beginner's luck.

Golly, I really did well for playing poker
the first time, didn't I?

Real well? You did terrific.

If the cards are with you,
they're with you.

It's all a matter of luck, Gomer.

And in your case, beginner's luck.

- I guess.
- That's right.

We proved you're a luckier guy than I am.

So what's the use of playing anymore?

Besides, I can't afford it.

So, so long, Gomer.

I'm just not playing you anymore.

Well, listen, would you
like part of this money back?

Oh, no. Fair is fair.
You won it, you keep it.

But this is it final game.

So long, Gomer.

Well, okay. Bye.

What's that?

That's the fish going for the bait.

I don't get it.

Is it possible I was wrong about this guy?

Could be, but I sure am glad
all those tests are over with

and I don't have to play anymore.

I just don't like gambling.
I really don't.

Yeah, but wait a minute, Pyle.

As long as you got
this lucky streak going,

maybe if you went back
just one more time--

Oh, no, Sergeant, please don't ask me.

But you don't understand, Pyle.
I'm still a little curious about this guy.

But, Sergeant, even if I did want to play
with him again, which I don't,

he won't play with me.

- He said so.
- Huh?

He won't play with me.
He said it wouldn't be any use.

He could never beat me,
and just wasn't any point

in playing with me again.

And just suppose you were to show up
and say you wanted to play again?

What would he do?

- He'd just refuse to play with me, is all.
- Oh, really?

Well, let me tell you something, Pyle.
If you want to play, he'll play.

- And you do want to play, don't you, Pyle?
- I really don't, Sergeant.

Listen, Pyle, you're going to play him,
and he's going to let you play,

and we're going to be there
to make sure that he does.

- But Sergeant--
- It's a matter of principal, Pyle.

This is a free country, and that means
nobody can dictate to you,

nobody can tell you what you
can do and what you can't do.

So I'm telling you,
you're going to play cards, and that's it!

I just can't understand

how you let that Marine walk
out of here with 130 bucks.

When I think of the dresses
I could have bought for that.

And I need shoes, too.

Honey, relax.

I guarantee you
we'll get every penny back. Triple.

Well, I hope you're right, buddy boy,

because another fiasco
like you had in Jersey--

Will you forget about Jersey?

Honey, come here. Watch this.

Now, look, I'm going to start easy on 'em
for the first couple of hours, see?

Kind of build up their confidence.
And that'll lead up to one big kill.

Now, look, turn up that first hand.

Straight. Ten high.

[Evans] Try that one.

Flush.

Full house.

Four kings.

What have you got?

Nothing.

I don't get it.

Look, all these suckers got pat hands.
They don't draw any cards, right?

Yeah.

But I draw.

Now take the first four cards off the top.

That's pretty slick.

And I don't even do the dealing.

I just make up the cards.

That's pretty good. How'd you work it?

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Trade secret.

Sergeant, I wish you
wouldn't make me do this.

Just think of it as another test, Pyle.

- That's all, just another test.
- But Sergeant--

And remember, whatever you
do, Pyle, we'll be right behind you.

[sighs]

Excuse me, boys. I'll be right back.

Oh, Pyle.

Listen, this is nothing personal,
but I told you last night,

I don't want to play
cards with you anymore.

Yes, I know, and, well,
that's what I told my--

Listen, Evans,
what are you trying to pull?

This is an open game, ain't it?

Yeah, but, you know, this guy's
got real beginner's luck, Sarge.

You're an old card player, you know.

Nobody can stand up against that.

Beginner's luck?

Listen, we didn't cry
when you cleaned us out, did we?

Now, do you take my buddy in,
or do I blow the whistle on this game?

No, no, don't do that. Okay, come on in.

The first one in a half hour.

All right, here.

Sergeant Carter,
I'm tired. It's almost midnight.

You can't quit now, Pyle.
You're barely even.

You don't want to waste
a whole night, do you?

I'm getting tired, too. Nobody's been hurt
much. Maybe it's a good time to quit.

Oh, okay. It's all right with me.

What do you say we let Charley
deal off the last hand, okay?

- All right.
- All right.

Come on, Pyle,
get lucky, will you? Get lucky!

And since this is the last hand,

I think I'd better shuffle 'em up
pretty good, huh? Okay?

All right, Charley, do your worse.

Golly, Sergeant Carter,
I hadn't done too badly.

I'm still a dollar and 20 cents ahead.

What's a dollar, 20?

Where's your luck, Gomer?
Where's the famous Pyle luck?

Well, I'll open.

Uh, how about 20 bucks?
I mean, since it's the last hand and all.

Well, maybe I'm being foolish,
but I think I'll stick with you.

Here's my 20 and I'll raise you ten.

[man] Well, I'll see your 30, and,
like he says, it's the last hand.

I'll, uh, double the bet.

Pick up your cards, Pyle.

[Evans] What about you, Pyle?
Are you in, or you out?

If you're in, put up your dough.

What do you think I should do, Sergeant?

Uh he's in, and, uh

he raises it, uh 50.

[Evans] 50? What's he got there?

Well, nothing really much.

- It's just that--
- No talking, Pyle.

Come on, let's play.

Well, I got nothing at all,
but seeing this is the last hand,

I'll be real stupid.

I'll try to outdraw you guys.

Well, I'm out.

Well, I don't know what everybody's got,
but, uh, I am going to see your raises

and add 50 more.

- Fifty dollars? Sergeant Carter--
- Shut up, Pyle.

Yeah, I'll see that, and raise you 50.

Something tells me I shouldn't do it,
but, uh, I'll raise you back 50.

I should get out,
shouldn't I, Sergeant Carter?

No, no. Wait.

Uh, no limit, right?

- Slater, give me your dough.
- Right, Sarge.

[Carter] Here's mine, all right?

All right.

We'll see you, and we'll raise it, uh

two hundred bucks.

Two hundred dollars?
Don't do that, Sergeant.

- That's all your money.
- Quiet, Pyle.

I got to stay in that one.

Boy, am glad I'm out of this one.

Well, I'm in.

That cleans me out.

I'll see it.

Cards?

Uh, I'll play these.

Same here.

These are good enough for me.

Three pat hands, eh?

What about you, Pyle?

[whispers] Sergeant Carter,
there's an awful lot of money out there.

Are you sure this is a good hand?

It's a good hand, Pyle.
You don't want any more cards.

But is it real good?

Yeah, it's real good.

It's a good hand, Gomer.

Believe me, it's a good hand.

Well, is it the best you can get?

Well, it's practically the best.

Just play 'em.

Practically?

You mean it's not the best?

Pyle, it is not the best, but so what?
It's good enough.

Well, not for me, it's not.
I want the best.

I'll have four cards, please.

What?! Give him his cards back.

He didn't mean to throw 'em in!

What do you mean, give them back?
He threw them. That's it.

Gomer, what did you do that for?

Well, golly, Duke,
with all that money out there,

I want the best.

[Carter] Give them back.
He didn't mean to throw them.

Give him his cards back.
He made a mistake.

That's right, it was a mistake.
Please let him have his cards back.

Mistake, nothing.
He threw 'em in, they're in.

But he can't!
Nobody throws away four kings!

[dramatic music plays]

How do you know he had four kings?

Well, uh

Deal out the next
four cards, will you, Charley?

You sap!

Just like in Jersey!

The same as in Jersey!

[Carter] So, the police
got there, and that was it.

Oh, that was nice work
nailing this guy, boys.

There are at least three places I know of
that's looking for him.

You know, he's made a specialty
out of clipping servicemen.

Well, I had him spotted
right from the start.

The only trouble
was getting the goods on him.

That's why I sent Pyle in
as a decoy to set him up.

- Ain't that right, Slater?
- Right, Sarge.

Well, too bad a lot of your
buddies weren't as sharp.

You know, Sergeant,
one thing about servicemen,

they're too easy with their money.

There's always somebody around
ready to take it away from them.

Yeah? Well, they got
to get up pretty early

in the morning to take it
away from old Sergeant Carter.

Well, we got to get going.
Glad we could help, Lieutenant.

So long, boys.

- All set to go, Sergeant?
- Yeah.

By the way, Pyle,

you picked our dough
up off the table, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, Sergeant.

I picked it all up while you was calling
the police, and I put it in my pocket.

- Thank goodness for that.
- Yeah. Where is it?

Well, you know how lucky I am?

Yeah.

Well, I took all the money,
and I bought these raffle tickets.

Raffle tickets?

Pyle, you bought raffle tickets?

What crook sold you
all them raffle tickets?

That fella over there.

I think I'm going to be sick.