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[marching band playing]
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00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,762
[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
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00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,183
Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
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00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,313
Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
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00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,912
[colonel] "It will be the first
official visit to this country
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00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,872
by the Princess Sanakawa.
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And she will be the guest
of various military installations,
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00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:45,045
among them, the local Marine
base at Camp Henderson."
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00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:48,423
Now, what has all this
got to do with you, Sergeant?
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00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,717
The Princess will be here
at the end of the week.
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00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,553
We're going to need an honor guard
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00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,514
and since you have
the highest ranking platoon at this time,
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00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,225
I've decided we pick our honor guard
from among your men.
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00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,102
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
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00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,520
There are enough men in your outfit
16
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,355
who own dress blue uniforms
for the occasion?
17
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,983
- Yes, sir. I'm sure of it.
- Of course.
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00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,569
I'm sure your men have enough pride
to want to own a set.
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00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,279
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
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I want you to pick
four of your best men,
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00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,741
- straight, sharp, and all-Marine.
- Aye, aye, sir.
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With a platoon like yours,
you probably can vouch
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00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,538
- for every single man in your outfit.
- Yes, sir.
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00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,373
I can vouch for
every single man in my outfit.
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Good.
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00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,585
That is, I can vouch
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for almost every single man
in my outfit.
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[Duke] Tails, heads, tails...
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and tails.
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And thank you
for the contribution.
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Any more suckers?
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[in southern accent]
Golly, Duke, you sure are lucky.
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00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,729
Where did you get all that luck?
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00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,523
You must eat a whole lot
of chickpeas on New Year's Eve.
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00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,275
Well, it's not only luck, Gomer.
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It's luck, good looks,
intelligence, charm...
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Let me see, have I left anything out?
Oh, yes, modesty.
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I don't know about them other things,
but you sure are lucky.
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00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,413
- I'll take you on, Duke.
- Gladly, Larry.
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00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,166
- Are you ready? Shake 'em up.
- Yeah. Got 'em.
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00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,792
- All right. Ready?
- Yeah.
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Here we go.
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Heads, tails...
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00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,923
Tails,
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00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,718
tails,
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00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,472
heads, tails. More?
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00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,514
Yeah.
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00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,892
Okay, shake 'em up.
49
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,644
- Ready?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,065
Heads, tails,
51
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,984
heads, heads,
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00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,780
tails, tails.
53
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,239
Suddenly not so lucky,
huh, Duke?
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00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,325
Hold on, what's happening here?
55
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:42,079
- How you doin', Mr. Lucky?
- Not so good, all of a sudden.
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00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,914
- Put 'em up again, Larry.
- All right.
57
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,207
Shake 'em up.
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00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,542
- Ready?
- Yeah.
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00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,879
Tails, tails,
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00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,131
and heads.
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00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,342
Not so good? That ain't bad.
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00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:59,596
Golly, you got lady luck smilin' at you
all the time, hadn't you, Duke?
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,433
- Let's go again.
- Sure. Shake 'em up.
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00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,185
- You ready?
- Yeah.
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00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,562
Heads...
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00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,232
Uh-uh. Tails, heads,
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00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,068
tails,
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00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,905
tails and heads.
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00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,950
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
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00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,159
Gomer?
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- What?
- Come here a minute, buddy.
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- What do you want?
- Come here.
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00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,206
Stand right here.
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00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,833
Get 'em up again, Larry.
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00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,376
- Get 'em up.
- All right.
76
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,088
Heads, tails,
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00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,842
tails, tails,
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00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,135
and heads.
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00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,261
That's it.
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00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,431
- What's it?
- You, Gomer. You're my good-luck piece.
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00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,640
I'm your what?
82
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,184
You move away, I lose.
You stand by my side, I win.
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00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,353
You're my good-luck charm.
How about that!
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00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,647
- Oh, go on, Duke.
- I'm not kidding, Gomer.
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00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,441
I don't know what it is,
but you give off sparks.
86
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,527
- Vibrations come out of you.
- Shazam!
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00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,196
You reckon it's that new
deodorant I've been usin'?
88
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,157
C'mon, guys,
Sergeant's on his way!
89
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,917
Sure.
90
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,797
I don't know what it is, but there's
a peculiar atmosphere in here!
91
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,842
Could be me, Sergeant.
We was just talkin' about it.
92
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,135
Forget it!
93
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,595
All right! Listen up!
94
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Now, battalion headquarters
wants an honor guard
95
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,892
to meet a special guest
this week.
96
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How many of you jokers
have got dress blues? Hands!
97
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,151
That's it?
98
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,820
You're kidding!
Just three of you?
99
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,656
I gotta have four men,
and they gotta have dress blues!
100
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,241
- Sergeant...
- Morrison, don't you have
101
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a set of dress blues?
102
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,496
Sorry, Sarge.
Uh, I ordered a set some time ago
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but I hadn't been able
to get the money to pick 'em up.
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00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:54,586
Boy, this is beautiful,
just beautiful.
105
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,880
Now I gotta go back
to the Colonel and say,
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"Sorry, sir, we can't make up
the honor guard.
107
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,677
- We don't have a thing to wear!"
- Sergeant...
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00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,346
I know they're optional,
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you don't have to buy
a dress blue uniform,
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00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,518
but you'd think you'd have
enough pride to want to own a set!
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00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,811
- Sergeant...
- Do you knuckleheads know
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what an honor this is to be picked
for an honor guard? Huh, do you?
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00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,527
And we can't take it because only three
of you have got dress blues!
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- Sergeant...
- Well, you'd think with all the money
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you spend on dames
a-and gambling
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00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,033
and--and--and
materialistic stuff,
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00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:29,037
you'd think you could
set aside 45 bucks, huh?
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00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,833
A measly 45 bucks
for a set of dress blues!
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00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,501
- Sergeant...
- Boy, this is humiliating!
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00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,795
It's-- It's--
It's downright humiliating!
121
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,338
- Sergeant...
- Pyle, what is it?
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I'm gettin' a set
of them there dress blues.
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What?
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I've already got 'em
ordered and everything.
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I've saved all my money
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and I'm supposed to pick 'em up
Saturday mornin'.
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Surprise, surprise, surprise!
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Yeah.
129
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So, you've got
your four men now, Sergeant.
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This is your lucky day.
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Pyle, knock it off!
It's not just the dress blues!
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You gotta be sharp
on your manual of arms!
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And I've got a hunch
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00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,738
that you are not sharp
on your manual of arms!
135
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,782
So forget it, Pyle!
Just forget it!
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Watch this, Sergeant.
137
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Attention!
138
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Port arms!
139
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,084
Order arms!
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Inspection arms!
141
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,178
I--I was just cleanin' it,
Sergeant.
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That won't happen again,
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I guarantee you that.
144
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,018
Don't you worry
about a thing, Sergeant.
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00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:36,021
It's gonna be all right.
146
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,690
Morrison, are you sure you can't get
that set of dress blues?
147
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I'm sure, Sarge. I'm broke!
148
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,819
W-Well, can't you get
some money somewhere?
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Can't you put your hands
on 45 dollars?
150
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,574
I sure doubt it.
151
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[groans]
152
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[groans]
153
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I wonder what causes that?
154
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,924
Sarge, you're gonna
wear yourself out. Relax.
155
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,301
Relax! Relax, he says!
156
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:09,137
There's a princess comin'
to this base on Saturday,
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00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,931
and meeting her
will be an honor guard
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including one
Private Gomer Pyle,
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who's liable to pull the bolt out
of his rifle or drop it altogether!
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00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,356
He might even walk up
to her and say,
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"Hi, ma'am. How y'all?
Gomer says hey."
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Relax!
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Tell him he can't be in it.
What's the big problem?
164
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The problem is,
I promised the Colonel
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four men all wearing dress blues!
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00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,745
He's the only other guy
with a uniform,
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so I may have to use him!
168
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,582
- And you don't wanna do that?
- I do not!
169
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,627
No, what I gotta do
170
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:44,339
is I gotta get another guy
for the honor guard,
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00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,424
and I gotta buy him a uniform.
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00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,012
- Nick, are you sure that you don't...
- You already asked me, Sarge.
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00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,055
I'm broke.
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00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,141
Broke! Broke!
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00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,267
Everybody's broke!
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00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,603
It would have to be
the end of the month!
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00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,940
Well, we gotta scare up
45 bucks by Saturday.
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00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,902
So you and me are going
on a little hunting expedition.
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00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,571
- Oh, but, Sarge...
- Yeah! Get everything you can get,
180
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,574
dollars, quarters, beg on the streets
for pennies if you have to.
181
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,119
We need 45 bucks
to buy Morrison his uniform.
182
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,203
But listen, Sarge...
183
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,706
I do not want Gomer Pyle
on this honor guard!
184
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:18,915
Do you understand?
185
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,084
Well, he can foul up.
He can foul up something terrible!
186
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:25,296
H-He could accidentally
shoot that princess and start a war!
187
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,215
- Come on, Sarge. Now, look...
- [knocks on door]
188
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,216
Come in!
189
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,886
Hey, Sergeant.
190
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,471
What do you want, Pyle?
191
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,849
Well, after you left
the barracks this mornin',
192
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,684
I got to thinkin'
that you might be worried
193
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,436
how I'd do
in that there honor guard.
194
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,063
So I just come by here
to set your mind at ease.
195
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,357
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh. Watch this.
196
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,359
I've been practicin' and practicin'.
197
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,820
Attention!
198
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,115
Port arms!
199
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,368
Order arms!
200
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,039
Present arms!
201
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,004
I'll keep practicin'.
202
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,048
[muttering] I wonder
what caused that.
203
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,550
I don't know how that happened.
204
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,385
That's never happened before.
205
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,555
Sorry, Sergeant.
206
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,017
Get the money!
Get the money!
207
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,144
[groans]
208
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,568
- Come on, Gomer. Why won't you?
- I told you, Duke.
209
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,279
I want to stay here and
practice my manual of arms.
210
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,824
Besides, I ain't sure I rightly approve of
what you're about to do.
211
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,118
Well, what's so terrible?
All you gotta do is stand by my side
212
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,703
all the time I'm shootin' craps.
213
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,663
You're my good luck charm,
you'll help me win.
214
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,999
Well, I don't think I approve.
215
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,460
Winnings from gamblin'
is ill-gotten gains.
216
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,753
Come on, Gome.
217
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,671
I can't, Duke.
218
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,466
Besides, there's this princess
that's comin' to visit,
219
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,343
all the way from the old country.
220
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,054
And I want to look real good
in that there honor guard.
221
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,597
- Watch this.
- Oh.
222
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,432
Attention!
223
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,810
Right shoulder arm!
224
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,188
Right face!
225
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,024
I'm sorry, Duke.
226
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,568
- I'm truly sorry.
- It's all right, Gomer.
227
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,737
Golly, did I hurt you?
228
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:16,032
Not as much as you hurt me
if you don't come in town with me.
229
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,954
Gosh, I feel as if
I owe it to you now.
230
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,914
Will you, please? Huh?
231
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:26,251
- Well...
- Attaboy, Gomer. You're a real buddy.
232
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,545
Well, I want to get back
in time to practice some more.
233
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,088
Oh, you will.
234
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,591
- I don't wanna stay out too late.
- You... We won't.
235
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,344
- I don't rightly approve.
- I know, I know.
236
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,597
- It's ill-gotten gains.
- Right. III-gotten gains.
237
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,101
[croupier] Eight!
The point is six!
238
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,729
Five! The point is six!
239
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,523
The shooter wants six!
240
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,443
Four! The shooter wants six!
241
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,028
Comin' for three.
242
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,240
Seven and out the line!
Next shooter!
243
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,659
Hand me those devil's bones
and stand back.
244
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,953
Be good to me,
little ivory babies.
245
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,956
Oh, I almost forgot.
My good-luck charm, fellas.
246
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:07,000
All right, all right,
what are you shootin'?
247
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,669
- Shoot the 20.
- 20 dollars. You paid it.
248
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,546
Let 'em roll.
249
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:14,174
Five! Five is the number!
250
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:18,303
Little Phoebe keep me loose.
Come on, three, catch a deuce!
251
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,555
Five right! The line!
252
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,433
Shall we all go
for another ride, fellas?
253
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,977
- What are you shootin' this time?
- Yeah, all go, shoot the works.
254
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:29,105
- Shoot 40, you paid it.
- Just a little insurance.
255
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,109
- [exclaiming]
- Seven! A winner!
256
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,028
A little gift from heaven!
257
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,821
Who's hot now, fellas, huh?
258
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,241
[Duke] Shoot it all,
shoot it all. Let's go.
259
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,076
[smacking] You're so good to me, baby.
260
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,995
Here we go. Yeah!
261
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,914
[croupier] Six!
The shooter wants six!
262
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:50,126
Six! Six! Is that all right, fellas?
[chuckling] Here we go.
263
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:51,878
Yeah!
264
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,797
Five!
The shooter wants six!
265
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,133
Six is the number!
The shooter wants six!
266
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,135
Come on, six!
267
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,137
Seven and out!
268
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,597
No!
269
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,474
Next shooter.
270
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,687
Gomer, Gomer, what happened?
Where'd you go?
271
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,773
Well, I got bored over there
just watchin',
272
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,983
so I come over here
and was practicin' my manual of arms.
273
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,236
That's great. You know what happened
while you were practicing?
274
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,905
- I lost. I lost everything.
- You didn't!
275
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,615
I did, Gomer.
I blew the whole roll.
276
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,992
You were supposed
to stick by me, bring me luck.
277
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:26,037
- Well, I'm sorry, Duke.
- A lot of good that does me.
278
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,205
You got any money?
279
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,749
- Well, yeah, but...
How much you got, Gomer?
280
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,085
- Well, I got 45 dollars, but...
- Let me have it.
281
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,420
Will you, Gomer?
Please, let me have it.
282
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,006
Well, I couldn't do that, Duke.
That's the money for my dress blues
283
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,591
and I'm supposed to
pick 'em up in the mornin'.
284
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,801
I'll double it, I guarantee it.
285
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,886
I'll win you enough
to buy two sets of dress blues!
286
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,304
- I don't know, Duke...
- Come on, Gomer.
287
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,431
It's the least you can do.
You walked away and broke the spell.
288
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,349
Well...
289
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,226
You admit you walked away
and broke the spell, don't you?
290
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,811
I was winnin' all the time
you were standin' there.
291
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,562
The minute you walked away,
boom, I lost.
292
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:52,480
Well...
293
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,191
Come on, Gomer. It's a sure thing,
you're my lucky partner.
294
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,402
Well, what makes you so sure
you're gonna win?
295
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,071
How can I lose
with Lucky Boy by my side?
296
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,116
- Well...
- Come on, Gomer.
297
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,910
I'm not sure
I rightly approve of this.
298
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,956
III-gotten gains is what it is.
299
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,667
That's my dress blues money.
300
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,585
Well, watch it grow, Lucky Boy.
301
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:18,047
Now stick by me this time.
Come on, Gomer.
302
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,009
[croupier] Nine is the number!
The shooter wants nine!
303
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,096
Seven away! Next shooter!
304
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,806
And we got
a fresh, young shooter!
305
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,391
What are you shootin', kid?
306
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,767
Shootin' the whole 45.
307
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,602
45 goes, you paid it.
308
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,649
[exclaiming]
309
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,609
Four! The number is four!
310
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:47,285
Little Joe from Kokomo,
give 'em a shake, and away they go!
311
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,661
Seven! You're out!
312
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,332
What happened, Duke?
What happened?
313
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,173
The money for my dress blues,
it's gone.
314
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,768
It's gone.
315
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,521
The money
for my dress blues is gone.
316
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,398
Gomer, I--I'm sorry, buddy.
317
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,276
I'm... I'm sorry.
318
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,528
All the money that I'd saved up.
319
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:25,740
Now I won't be able
to get my dress blues.
320
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,285
But you know
what the worst part is?
321
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,204
I'll tell you what
the worst part is.
322
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,122
Tomorrow, I've got
to tell Sergeant Carter
323
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,292
that I can't be in that honor guard
to meet that princess.
324
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,710
Gomer...
325
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,921
He's gonna be
so disappointed, Duke.
326
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,090
Can you imagine
how disappointed he's gonna be
327
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,342
when I tell him I can't be
in that there honor guard?
328
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:48,429
No, no, no! I'm not gonna have Pyle
on the honor guard!
329
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,766
Sarge, face it. You don't have
enough money to swing it.
330
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,352
You need 45 bucks
for a uniform for Morrison.
331
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,813
Count it, you only got about 15.
332
00:14:56,813 --> 00:15:00,983
That's all we could rake up?
15 bucks? Just 15 bucks?
333
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,152
Yeah, 15 and a quarter.
334
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,697
Nick, we can't quit now!
We gotta get another 30 bucks!
335
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,366
We hit almost everybody
on the base.
336
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,450
They're all tapped out.
337
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,577
Well, there must be
somebody somewhere!
338
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,414
Hey, what about your folks?
339
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,791
Send 'em a telegram.
Tell 'em you need an operation.
340
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,251
Oh, Vince!
341
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,462
I gotta keep Pyle off that honor guard!
Don't you understand?
342
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,216
Well, I wasn't gonna suggest it,
343
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,302
but I think I know where
you can get some dough real fast.
344
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,637
You know?
345
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,597
Well, what have you been
keeping so quiet about?
346
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,683
Where, huh, where,
where, where? Talk, talk!
347
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,685
Well, there's a big crap game
in town tonight.
348
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,061
- A crap game?
- Right.
349
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,022
You want me to go
to a gambling joint and shoot crap,
350
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,399
a platoon sergeant?
351
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,443
Well, you go as a civilian.
352
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,820
Shoot crap with strangers?
353
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,739
Do you realize how desperate
I'd have to be to do that?
354
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,325
- Well?
- I'm pretty desperate. Where's the game?
355
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,244
Five! The shooter wants eight!
356
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:55,913
Come on, baby. Be there.
357
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,290
Craps!
358
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,041
12! The shooter wants 8!
359
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,962
Okay, buddy.
360
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,298
Take it easy, fatso.
Are you in a rush?
361
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,842
Look, who you calling "fatso"?
362
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,761
You, banjo eyes.
You wanna make somethin' out of it?
363
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,306
Oh, oh, the big, bad civilian
here is gonna hit me.
364
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,348
I'm scared.
365
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,560
All right, come on. Shoot 'em.
366
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,437
Seven away!
367
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,647
Next shooter!
Next shooter.
368
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,399
All right. Have fun, civilian.
369
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,610
Dad give you the car tonight?
370
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,653
- Shoot the bundle.
- How much is the bundle?
371
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,822
15 dollars and 25 cents.
372
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,240
Okay, you're fated.
373
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,367
Come on, guys, come on!
374
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,952
[exclaiming]
375
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,788
Seven! Winner!
376
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,624
Ha! Let's see.
How much is that?
377
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,126
That's, uh, 30 dollars
and 50 cents, huh?
378
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,170
All right, how much
are you shootin' now?
379
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,756
I'll shoot 14 dollars
and, uh, 50 cents.
380
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,049
Okay, you're fated.
381
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,425
Come on, dice.
382
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,426
[exclaiming]
383
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,677
Eleven!
384
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,554
[chuckling] Pass!
385
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,557
- What'll you shoot this time?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
386
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,810
I got all I need.
Thanks a lot, fellas.
387
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,147
Well, so long, sport.
Now you can buy that Erector Set.
388
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,944
[Carter] ...42, 43,
389
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:12,573
44, 45.
390
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,535
Exactly enough
for one set of dress blues.
391
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,787
Did you tell Morrison
I have a little present for him?
392
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,122
Yeah, he'll be here as soon as
he gets off of work detail.
393
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,667
Well, Nick, this ought
to be a lesson to you.
394
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,710
For a while there we thought
we were gonna be stuck
395
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:28,422
with Pyle in the honor guard,
but fate had other plans.
396
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,967
It's always darkest
before the dawn,
397
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,386
every cloud has a silver lining,
398
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,722
and hope springs eternal
in the human breast.
399
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,266
You know what I mean?
400
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,643
Uh-huh. You got bailed out
by a crap game.
401
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,564
- Now comes the most satisfying part.
- What's that?
402
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,275
Telling Pyle he's not gonna be
in the honor guard.
403
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,902
For a while there, I was stuck.
I had no choice.
404
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,239
But now, because of the...
I do have a choice,
405
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,116
and I'm gonna tell him.
406
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,951
He's gonna be disappointed.
407
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:59,704
Well, as they say
on the playgrounds,
408
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,330
tough noogies.
409
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,416
You're a hardhearted man, Vince.
410
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,667
That's right!
411
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:08,129
I got a hard heart
and a hard head to match.
412
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,839
You want me to take a chance
413
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,008
and have Pyle goof up
an official visit?
414
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,134
Well, I don't!
415
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,052
So I'm goin' over there
right now and tell him!
416
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:18,306
"Pyle, you're out! O-U-T, out!"
417
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,391
- [knocking on door]
- Come in.
418
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:28,107
Well, Pyle, I was just
on my way over to see you.
419
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,151
Can I talk to you a minute,
Sergeant?
420
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,444
Well, sure, sure.
421
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,947
First, you talk to me.
Then, I will talk to you.
422
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:35,948
Go.
423
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,535
I don't quite know
how to tell you this, but...
424
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,995
'Cause you ain't
gonna like hearin' it
425
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,747
no better than I like tellin' it.
426
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:43,873
Well, let's hear it.
427
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,791
And I wouldn't blame you
for bein' mad,
428
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,419
on account of it's bound to be
disappointin' news.
429
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,338
Let's hear it, let's hear it!
430
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,673
Fact is, I was gonna sit down
and write you a letter
431
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,343
- just so as I wouldn't have to face you.
- Pyle!
432
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,511
Well, here it is,
433
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,764
and I hope
you'll forgive me for it.
434
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,933
I can't be
in that there honor guard.
435
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,519
What did you say?
436
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,146
You hate me,
don't you, Sergeant?
437
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,024
Admit it, you hate me
for ruinin' all your plans.
438
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,026
You thought I was gonna be
in that there honor guard,
439
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,362
and here at the last minute,
I tell you I can't.
440
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,030
Well, you just go on and hate me,
441
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,949
'cause I sure feel
like a hateful thing.
442
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,328
I don't have the money
to buy the uniform.
443
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,580
But you told me
you had the money.
444
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,585
This is the most painful
part of all, comin' up.
445
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,337
I had it,
but I lost it.
446
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,631
You lost it?
447
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,967
I've done a terrible thing,
Sergeant.
448
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,470
It got lost shootin' with craps.
449
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,013
- What?
- That's right.
450
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,933
I don't know what come over me,
greed, I expect...
451
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:47,520
But, anyways, it got lost
in a game of craps.
452
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,856
You got in a crap game
and lost your money?
453
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,776
The dice was supposed
to roll up to number four,
454
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,986
that's little old Phoebe
from Kokomo.
455
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,447
That's crap talk.
456
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:02,159
And it didn't come up. So I lost.
457
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,038
Pyle, you mean
you took the money
458
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,416
that you had saved up
for your dress blues,
459
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,251
and you blew it
in a crap game?
460
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,169
Is that what you're saying?
461
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,880
I don't mind so much about me,
Sergeant, but you...
462
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,507
What are you gonna do
for the fourth man
463
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:19,510
for that honor guard?
You was countin' on me.
464
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,429
What's gonna happen now?
465
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,725
Well, I'll, uh...
I'll think of something.
466
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,810
And I was doin' real good,
too, Sergeant.
467
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,478
You'd have been
real proud of me.
468
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,939
I'd just been practicin'
my manual of arms,
469
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,941
I could even do it in my sleep.
470
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,444
Every spare minute I had,
I was doin' it.
471
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:39,739
You'd have been real proud of me,
'cause I was doin' it right.
472
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,657
To tell you the truth, Sergeant,
473
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,327
that's the reason I was so anxious
to get in the honor guard.
474
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,496
I just wanted to make you
proud of me.
475
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,587
All right, Pyle.
Get back to your quarters.
476
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,130
Right, Sergeant.
477
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,300
When I come in,
you said there was somethin'
478
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,968
you wanted
to talk to me about.
479
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,930
Um, n-n-nothing,
nothing important.
480
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,515
It can wait.
481
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,017
Right, Sergeant.
482
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,815
[door closing]
483
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,945
Well, you don't kick a guy
when he's down!
484
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:22,406
- I didn't say anything.
- And I'll tell you somethin' else!
485
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,158
He didn't lose that money
in a crap game!
486
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,951
He doesn't even know
how to shoot crap!
487
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,453
He was covering,
that was he was doing.
488
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,663
He was covering for some creep
that conned him out of his dough!
489
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,873
What are you gonna do?
490
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,541
What do you mean,
"What am I gonna do?"
491
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,752
I got the money
for the dress blues, haven't I?
492
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,629
Pyle may not have the money,
but I got it!
493
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,255
- So?
- So, there are gonna be
494
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,008
four men in the honor guard
all wearing dress blues,
495
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,010
just like it was planned
from the beginning!
496
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,221
- What am I gonna do?
- I was just wondering. I...
497
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,264
Well, stop wondering!
There's no problem.
498
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,517
- [knocking on door]
- Come in!
499
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:50,893
Hiya, Sergeant.
500
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,978
Corporal said you had
a present for me,
501
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,606
money for a set of dress blues
to wear in the honor guard.
502
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,191
A present?
503
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,985
A present?
504
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:03,739
What is this,
your birthday, Christmas?
505
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,784
Where do you get off coming in here
askin' for a present?
506
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:10,079
A present?
I'll give you a present!
507
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,039
I'll give you
100 push-ups to do!
508
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,457
Get out of here, you mooch!
509
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,042
- But, Sergeant, I was...
- Get out of here!
510
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,127
Move, move, move,
move, move, move!
511
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,006
Well, what are you
just sittin' there for?
512
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,759
Go get Pyle. Go get him.
He's gotta pick up his uniform!
513
00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:30,015
Whatever you're thinkin',
shut up!
514
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:03,090
Sergeant? I ain't gonna never forget
515
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,050
what a nice thing it is
you done for me,
516
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,428
lendin' me the money
so I could get my uniform.
517
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:10,180
- It's okay, Pyle.
- Nice, nice, nice.
518
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,932
I don't see how
I can ever thank you.
519
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:15,394
You did, Pyle, you did,
last night and this morning.
520
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,770
And I got your letter, too.
521
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:20,274
I declare, every time I think about it,
I wanna just puddle up.
522
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:21,984
Well, don't, Pyle.
523
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:24,445
There's nothing that looks
worse in an honor guard
524
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:26,322
than a Marine
who's been crying.
525
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,490
Heck, what a nice thing.
526
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,284
You're gonna make
a wonderful father.
527
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,744
Swell.
528
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:35,331
So once again, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
529
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,832
It's okay, Pyle.
530
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:41,045
Now, look, the visiting party's
gonna be here any minute.
531
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,756
Now, I want you to play it
cool and steady.
532
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,466
Don't you worry, Sergeant.
533
00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:48,177
I'll never disappoint the man
that made all this possible for me.
534
00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:50,971
Good. Just listen
for every command
535
00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:52,932
and execute it with precision.
536
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,975
Check and double-check.
537
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:57,227
Don't panic, don't be nervous.
538
00:23:57,227 --> 00:24:00,105
Just play it cool and steady,
steady and cool.
539
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,066
Done and done.
540
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:05,569
Here they come.
Remember, cool and steady.
541
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,408
[Carter] Detail, ten-hut!
542
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,452
[marching band playing]
543
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:15,788
Present...
544
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,373
arms!
40854
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