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1
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[marching band playing]
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[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.
3
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Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.
4
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Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.
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Hemsley!
6
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,920
- Yes, sir!
- What does that sign say?
7
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Mess hall, sir!
8
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And what do we use
a mess hall for, Hemsley?
9
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,470
- Eating, sir!
- That's right!
10
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And that's the only place we eat!
11
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We don't eat on the grounds!
12
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,560
We don't eat in the quarters!
13
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We eat in the mess hall!
14
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,273
And we don't take
any food out of there!
15
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- Get rid of it!
- Yes, sir!
16
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And we don't waste food,
do we, Hemsley?
17
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No, sir!
18
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Will you remember that?
19
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[muffled] Yes, sir!
20
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Move it!
21
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[Carter] Pyle!
22
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You know what, Pyle?
I think you're gettin' fat!
23
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[in southern accent]
Well, sir, they do feed good in there.
24
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I mean, that's real town eatin'.
25
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,066
What are you,
some kind of chowhound?
26
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- Pull in that gut.
- Yes, sir.
27
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I said pull in that gut!
Pull in that gut!
28
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You know, gut-pullin'-in is
one of my biggest weaknesses.
29
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I know I'll get
the hang of it, though.
30
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I've made up my mind to it.
Gut-pullin'-in. Yes, sir.
31
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,001
How many times did you
go through that chow line?
32
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- Twice, sir.
- What are you trying to do?
33
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You got a lot of fat
between your ears,
34
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,799
now you're trying to
match it up further down? Is that it?
35
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,261
Well, sir, I guess I'm just
one of them unlucky people.
36
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- Take after my mama's side of the family.
- Huh?
37
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Well, on my mama's side
of the family,
38
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every blessed thing they eat
turns right into fat,
39
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but on my daddy's side,
it's just the opposite.
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They can eat and eat and eat,
and it don't hardly ever show.
41
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,859
- Pyle.
- Used to make my mama so mad.
42
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She'd say to daddy,
"How come you can eat and eat and eat
43
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and it don't hardly ever show,
44
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and I can eat just
a little bit and it just..."
45
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Stow it!
46
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Now, let's watch it!
Cut down on the spuds!
47
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That's another thing.
48
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,707
Daddy could eat
all the taters he wanted to,
49
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,960
- but mama would just eat one tater...
- Knock it off!
50
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- Now, move out!
- Yes, sir.
51
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,048
Pull it in, pull it in!
52
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That's another thing.
Mama used to try to pull it in and...
53
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Get outta here! Go, go, go!
54
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,975
Hey, Joey.
55
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,978
I brought you somethin' to eat.
56
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See here.
I got some little, boiled taters
57
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and some--some weenies
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and some bread,
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a little cartoon of milk.
60
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That was cold
sittin' up against me.
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That's-- That's real swell
of you, Gomer.
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Go on and eat it fast
before the Sergeant comes back.
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I can't.
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Y-You're a real goombah,
but... Thanks, I can't.
65
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But you gotta eat somethin'.
66
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You'll just knot up inside
if you don't.
67
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,760
That's what happens
when you don't eat.
68
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You just get all knotted up inside.
Here, eat somethin'.
69
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,266
It's no use!
I just don't feel like eatin'!
70
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,227
Look, I know you was taking
a big chance sneaking this stuff out,
71
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,187
and--and I appreciate it.
You know what I mean?
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But I just can't!
73
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,733
Come on, Joey,
you gotta stop mopin'.
74
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,484
She's gonna write to you
any day now.
75
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,111
You'll see,
there's gonna be a letter.
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00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,696
Of all the dumb, idiotic things,
77
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,449
I have to have a fight with my girl
just before I leave for boot camp.
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00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,783
[reproaching in Italian]
79
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,119
She'll write to you
any day now. You'll see.
80
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,538
When? When, already?
It's two weeks, and nothing!
81
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,331
[reproaching fervidly in Italian]
82
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,334
Joey, you gotta quit
hittin' yourself in the head like that.
83
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You gonna make yourself loopy.
84
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,214
Why won't she write, huh, Gomer?
Why won't she write?
85
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[shushing]
86
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,385
I imagine it's 'cause
what you said to her mama.
87
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,637
You oughtn't have told her mama
to go jump in the lake.
88
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,056
Why not, huh? Why not?
89
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,351
Me and Rosemary were all
for gettin' married on my first leave,
90
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,313
and then her mother... Oh, her mother!
You know what she says?
91
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,564
She says, "What's the rush?
92
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,983
Let's make sure first he doesn't get
a dishonorable discharge."
93
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,194
So I tell her to
go jump in the lake.
94
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,488
Now, the old lady gets mad,
rosey gets mad, I get mad,
95
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,698
and here I am with no letters!
96
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You oughtn't said that.
97
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[reproaching in Italian]
98
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,953
Joey, you gotta quit doin' that.
99
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,375
[man] Sergeant Carter's
on his way, you guys.
100
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Ten-hut!
101
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,257
All you people listen up!
102
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:03,011
Tomorrow being Sunday,
it's a day of recreation!
103
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,639
Does that make you people happy?
104
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[all] Yes, sir.
105
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Then look happy!
106
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What's the matter?
Aren't you happy here?
107
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[all] Yes, sir!
108
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Well, let's hear it!
109
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- We're happy, sir.
- I can't hear you!
110
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,446
- We're happy, sir!
- Okay!
111
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:26,660
Tomorrow will be a recreation day
for all of you, except one.
112
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I need one of you people
to air some mattresses out back.
113
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,128
Now, who needs a little exercise?
114
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Who is a chowhound
115
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,761
that needs to work off
a little extra lard?
116
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What time, sir?
117
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,189
Believe me, Miss Cassanetti,
I sympathize,
118
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,734
but our regulations in this connection
are very specific.
119
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Recruits are not permitted visitors
120
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until they have completed
four weeks of training.
121
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,449
Private Lombardi has not been here
that long.
122
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,368
But can't I see him for a minute?
123
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I came such a long way,
and it's Sunday.
124
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I'm very sorry,
125
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,542
but if we start making exceptions
there'll be no end to it.
126
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,793
Why don't you write to him?
127
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Well, up until last night,
my mother wouldn't even let me do that.
128
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But I finally showed her
where she was wrong,
129
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,174
and I rushed right over here.
130
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,344
Can't I see him?
I gotta tell him everything's all right.
131
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I really would like to help you.
I hope you'll understand.
132
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Well, thanks anyway.
133
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Today, being Sunday,
is a day of recreation!
134
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I wanna see every one
of you people participating
135
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and having fun!
136
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,702
I don't wanna catch anybody
137
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not having fun!
138
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,248
Is that clear?
139
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,752
- [all] Yes, sir!
- What are you going to have?
140
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,504
- Fun, sir!
- Fall out!
141
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,221
- What's the matter with you?
- Can I be excused, sir?
142
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I don't feel too good, sir.
143
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,684
You don't feel too good, where?
144
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,062
My stomach, sir.
145
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,813
You mean you don't
want to get out there
146
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,857
with the rest of those people
and have fun?
147
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No, sir. If you don't mind, sir.
148
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,111
Well, I do mind!
149
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,906
So next Sunday,
you be out there and have fun.
150
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,866
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
151
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,355
Hey, ma'am.
152
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,940
Hello.
153
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,903
- Are you waitin' on somebody?
- Well, kind of.
154
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:10,824
I was hoping I'd catch a glimpse
of my boyfriend. He's stationed here.
155
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,785
Oh, but it's such a big place,
and there's so many.
156
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,161
I'll never find him.
157
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,498
Well, who is your boyfriend, ma'am?
If I ain't bein' too personal.
158
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,000
Maybe I know him.
159
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,334
I sure doubt it.
160
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,295
His name's Lombardi.
Joey Lombardi.
161
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,923
Joey Lombardi? Do I know him!
162
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,717
Why, Joey and me is buddies!
163
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,011
- You don't mean it!
- I sure do!
164
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,930
Why, he sleeps in the bed
right next to me. I mean "bunk."
165
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,682
You don't ever say "bed"
down here.
166
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:40,186
Don't ever let a Drill Instructor
hear you say "bed" or "floor."
167
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,523
It's a "bunk"
and the floor is "deck"
168
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,817
and the wall is "bulkhead."
169
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,028
Betcha don't know
what they call a door.
170
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,363
A "hatch."
171
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,824
Tell me about Joey.
You really know him?
172
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,618
I sure do. Imagine runnin'
into you like this.
173
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,830
Hey, you got to be Rosemary.
174
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,415
That's right.
175
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,126
Well, would you pay attention to this!
It's like they say.
176
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,878
It's a little bitty world, ain't it?
177
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,547
Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
I'm Gomer Pyle.
178
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,924
Hello, Gomer.
Joey told you about me?
179
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,178
- About all there is to tell.
- Gomer, how is he?
180
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:17,599
Well, he mopes around a lot,
and he don't eat much, and he don't sleep,
181
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,476
and he hits himself in the head a lot.
182
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,644
Other than that, though,
he's just fine.
183
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,146
Poor Joey.
184
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,356
Gosh, he's gonna be
so tickled to see you,
185
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,317
he ain't gonna quit
grinnin' for a month.
186
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,820
- But I can't see him!
- Huh? Why not?
187
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,448
Oh, well, I don't have permission.
You see, I was...
188
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,991
Well, you got my permission.
189
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,993
You come all this way
to see your loved one
190
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,079
and not see him.
Why, that'd be cruel.
191
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,247
Come on, I'm gonna take you
to your loved one.
192
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,957
Why, that'd be
a terrible disappointment,
193
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,918
if you didn't get
to see your loved one.
194
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,004
You just come on with me.
195
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,903
Hey, Joey.
196
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,280
Hey, Gomer.
197
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,535
Joey?
198
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,668
rosey?
199
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091
- rosey! Oh, rosey!
- Oh, Joey.
200
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,593
That's who it is, all right.
It's Rosemary, your loved one.
201
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,638
[Joey] I missed you so much, baby.
202
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,390
[Rosey sobbing] Oh, Joey.
203
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,894
- [sobbing]
- Oh, rosey.
204
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,731
- [sobbing]
- What are you cryin' for?
205
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,234
You ain't supposed to do that.
You're supposed to be happy.
206
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,902
[both sobbing]
207
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,780
You're supposed to be happy.
You ain't supposed to do that.
208
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,658
- [Rosey] Oh, Joey.
- Gosh! What do you folks do at funerals?
209
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,286
Oh, baby.
210
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,912
Gomer says you're not eating.
211
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,831
Why don't you eat, Joey?
You'll get sick.
212
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,000
I couldn't eat,
I couldn't sleep. Nothing!
213
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,335
Oh, but everything's
gonna be okay now.
214
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,421
Hey, hey. That was real nice
of the Colonel
215
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:14,299
to give you permission to come see me.
But what are you doing back here?
216
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,467
They don't allow anybody back here,
especially women.
217
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,512
I didn't, Joey.
I didn't get permission from the Colonel.
218
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,432
- No? Well, who gave you permission?
- Him.
219
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,059
- Him?
- Me.
220
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,394
He brought you in here?
221
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,771
What's the matter, Joey?
Are you gonna get in trouble?
222
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,856
[door opens]
223
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,608
[all chattering]
224
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,236
What's going on? Who's this?
225
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,739
Hey, fellers.
This is Rosemary, Joey's girl.
226
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,115
She's his loved one.
227
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,159
Say "hey" to the fellers,
Miss Rosemary.
228
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,912
- Hey.
- [all] Hi, Rosemary.
229
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,830
Are you guys nuts?
Standing around with the introductions!
230
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,165
There's a civilian back here.
231
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,626
- And a female civilian!
- I know, I know. We were just going!
232
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,753
What are you worried about, Duke?
It's my girl and my problem!
233
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,713
Oh, no, it isn't, buster.
It's everybody's problem!
234
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,299
They find her back here
and we all get the boom lowered on us!
235
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,968
All right, all right. Look,
we'll take her out the way she came in!
236
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,386
[Duke] Well, how'd she
come in here, anyway?
237
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,429
I brung her.
238
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,640
You brung... Gomer,
what's the matter with you,
239
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,225
sneaking a dame in the barracks?
240
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,852
We didn't sneak.
I was bringin' in some mattresses,
241
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,104
and Miss Rosemary
just come along right beside us.
242
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,690
Oh, Gomer, you sneaked her in
behind a mattress?
243
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,401
- We didn't sneak!
- Okay, you didn't sneak!
244
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,612
Don't care much
for that expression.
245
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:20,073
Oh, boys, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna get you all in trouble.
246
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,700
No, you're not, Miss Rosemary.
Now, don't you fret none.
247
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,662
Hey, guys, think of something quick!
Here comes the Sergeant!
248
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,416
We didn't sneak.
249
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,719
[all clamoring]
250
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,845
- What'll we do?
- Get under the bunk!
251
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,389
[Gomer] Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
252
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,599
I really think we ought to tell
the Sergeant the truth.
253
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,434
[all clamoring]
254
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,730
[man] Ten-hut!
255
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,233
[whispering] Don't.
256
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,488
Well, did you people
have your recreation?
257
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,533
- [all] Yes, sir!
- And did you have fun?
258
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,410
Yes, sir!
259
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,912
Did you finish
with that mattress detail?
260
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,040
Yes, sir. And I had fun, too, sir.
261
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,417
What?
262
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,670
It was just the recreation I needed
for a lazy Sunday afternoon.
263
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,631
Well, that's just dandy. Maybe I...
264
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,050
[sniffing]
265
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,803
Who is using perfumed soap?
266
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:31,019
All right, who's using
fancy shaving lotion?
267
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:35,315
Now, look. There's one thing
you people have a right to know!
268
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,735
And that is, my nose don't lie!
269
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,154
Whatever it is, get rid of it!
270
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,949
You expect to be Marines?
You better smell like 'em!
271
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,036
And that ain't a Marine smell!
Is that clear?
272
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,204
- [all] Yes, sir!
- All right!
273
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,551
Okay!
274
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,927
[all clamoring]
275
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,179
[man] He's gotta get rid of her.
276
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,056
Hold it! Hold it!
Gomer, go get a mattress.
277
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,807
- Huh?
- Hurry up! Get the mattress!
278
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,434
Let's go. Hurry.
279
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,685
Gomer sneaked her in
behind a mattress.
280
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,936
It oughta work
the same way going out.
281
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,355
Come on, Gomer.
Sneak her out the same way.
282
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,648
It wasn't sneakin'.
283
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,360
- Okay. Okay. All right...
- I don't sneak.
284
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,487
All right. The rest of us better
stay here and lay low,
285
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,030
so we don't attract
any attention.
286
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,282
Oh, Joey. I'm so sorry
for making all this trouble.
287
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,910
Come on, come on. Now, Gomer,
keep her hidden behind that mattress!
288
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,079
- Keep her hidden!
- Gung-ho.
289
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,206
That means,
"Everybody workin' together."
290
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,415
Go! Go!
291
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,793
[Joey] Goodbye, rosey.
292
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,235
- Good afternoon, sir.
- What are you doing, Private?
293
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,112
Mattress detail, sir.
294
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,488
On Sunday?
295
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,491
Yes, sir. Sergeant said
I need to work off some lard.
296
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,494
- Carry on.
- Yes, sir.
297
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,745
Go ahead.
298
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,666
I think we can go now,
Rosemary.
299
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,001
I don't think it would hurt,
anyways.
300
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,715
Rosemary?
301
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,050
Rosemary?
302
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,264
Pyle!
303
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,225
I thought you finished
this mattress detail.
304
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,018
Yes, sir. I did, sir.
305
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,563
But not quite, sir. No, sir.
306
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,899
Well, finish it! Get those mattresses
back on the double!
307
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,151
Yes, sir.
308
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,256
Pyle...
309
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,593
Gomer Pyle?
310
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,100
Stay right where you are.
311
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,354
Don't move.
Don't go no place.
312
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,855
Just stay right there.
313
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,902
Gomer, where did she go?
Where did she go?
314
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,153
What do you mean
you lost her!
315
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,821
Where were you
when the officer showed up?
316
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,074
Well, I was somewhere near
Sergeant Carter's hut.
317
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,700
[all] Oh, no!
318
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,452
Oh, she wouldn't
have gone in there.
319
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,787
[Hemsley] Hey, you guys!
320
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,122
Here he comes,
with murder in his eye!
321
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,791
This is it, fellas! Zero hour!
322
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,042
[man] Ten-hut!
323
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,048
Why?
324
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,677
Just one thing. Why?
325
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,221
- Sir...
- What are you trying to do to me?
326
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,973
You wanna destroy me, is that it?
327
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,642
- Sir...
- Sixteen years in the Marine Corps.
328
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,644
- Sir...
- Five Good Conduct Medals,
329
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:45,231
cited for bravery in Korea,
three Honor Platoons in a row.
330
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,525
- Sir...
- Sixteen years of working hard,
331
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,819
sacrificing, trying to make good.
332
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,738
Sixteen years to get
to the top of my profession,
333
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,865
and you gotta foul
the whole thing up
334
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,076
by stashing a dame in my locker!
335
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,995
- But I didn't...
- Pyle!
336
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,456
Do you have any idea
what they'll do with me
337
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:06,294
if they find a dame stashed
in a Drill Instructor's locker?
338
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,879
Do you know the best
that can happen to me?
339
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,799
If I'm lucky,
I'll go to Leavenworth!
340
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,469
You see, that's in Kansas,
not too far from my hometown!
341
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,805
- Sir...
- What do you want?
342
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,182
Sir, the girl in your locker
happens to be my girl.
343
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,976
Gomer was just trying to
get her off the base.
344
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,812
- It's all my fault that Gomer...
- No, it's not your fault, Joey.
345
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,147
I'm the one
that brought her on to here.
346
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,398
But she's my girl
and she came here...
347
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,983
But I told her
that she could come on here...
348
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,651
Gomer, she wouldn't
have come if it were...
349
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,862
- You never would...
- Knock it off! Both of you!
350
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,239
Let me think.
351
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,367
Sir, if I may suggest,
352
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,037
the best way is always
the easy, direct way.
353
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,663
Why don't I go up
to Colonel and say,
354
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,041
"Colonel, we got this problem.
355
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,627
You see, we got this young lady
in Sergeant Carter..."
356
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,921
Don't you say anything.
357
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,258
Don't move, don't talk,
don't even breathe.
358
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,554
- But it's my responsibility.
- It was your responsibility.
359
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,973
But now it's on my back.
Do you understand?
360
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,809
It's now my responsibility! Mine!
361
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,103
You, I'll take care of later!
362
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,398
Right now, we gotta get
that girl out of here and fast!
363
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,818
I got it.
364
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,614
We leave her in the locker.
That's how we get her out.
365
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,991
We walk her out, locker and all.
366
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,827
Now, that's sneaky.
What I done wasn't sneaky.
367
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,496
Knock it off!
368
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,836
Easy, easy.
That's my girl in there.
369
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,005
Yeah. Don't jangle his loved one.
370
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,177
All right, let's go.
This way, this way.
371
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,403
Good afternoon, sir.
372
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,571
Good afternoon.
What have we got here, Sergeant?
373
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,367
Personal locker.
A little, uh, paint and repair, sir.
374
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,245
Yes, sir.
A little repair job and some paint.
375
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,539
Looks like they did a good job.
376
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,250
Here, I'll hold the door for you.
377
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,336
Thank you, sir.
378
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,558
Hold it, hold it!
You got her upside down!
379
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,991
rosey, are you all right?
380
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,325
[Rosey] I-I'm all right.
381
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,417
Sergeant?
382
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,753
I'm sorry
your locker idea didn't work.
383
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,130
Pyle...
384
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,845
I may only get
chewed out for this.
385
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,347
Then again, I might lose my stripes
386
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,767
and get busted down
to a buck private.
387
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,772
I might even get sent to the brig
for... Who knows?
388
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,859
Say, a month, a year.
389
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,906
But one day, they'll let me out.
390
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,825
And when they do,
391
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:28,120
I'm going to look for you.
392
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,833
I'm going to look and look
393
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,585
until I find you.
394
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,671
Because I'll find you.
395
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,550
And when I find you,
396
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,844
I'm not gonna kill you
right away.
397
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,264
- Not right away.
- But, sir...
398
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:51,977
First, I gotta figure out
how I'm going to kill you.
399
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,355
Oh, it might be by strangulation.
400
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,816
- Or it might be...
- Sir.
401
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,692
You've got every right
to feel that way.
402
00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,653
This whole thing's my fault.
403
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,030
I thought I was helpin' out a buddy,
404
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,533
and I never expected
to get you into trouble.
405
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,618
I just feel terrible.
406
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,870
- Do you really?
- Oh, yes, sir.
407
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:17,503
No, not yet,
not yet.
408
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,255
Sir, what I wanted to say is,
409
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,132
I got this idea of how
to get Miss Rosemary out of here,
410
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,467
and I'm sure it'll work.
411
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,928
You are, huh?
412
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,847
I promise, and if it don't,
413
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:31,183
you can go ahead
and strangulate me right here.
414
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,018
All right, you people!
Let's move! Let's move!
415
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,604
You in there, come on!
Let's move! Dress it up!
416
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,315
Left face!
417
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,860
Forward march!
418
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,361
Left, right, left!
419
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,530
Oh, now,
there's an eager beaver for you.
420
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,824
Don't even let his boots off on Sunday.
421
00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:49,493
You know, maybe that's how
he gets those Honor Platoons.
422
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:50,578
Yeah.
423
00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:54,290
[Carter] Left, right,
left, right, left, two, three, four...
424
00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:01,255
Left and left,
two, three, right, left...
425
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,467
Company, left turn!
426
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:10,306
Left, right, left, right! Left, two,
three, right, left, right, left!
427
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,849
Right...
428
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,142
Turn!
429
00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:15,644
Left, right, left, right, left, right!
430
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,776
Right, left, right, left!
431
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:23,944
Get in line!
432
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,613
Get in there!
433
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,662
- Forty-nine, sir.
- Fifty!
434
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,081
- Fifty, sir.
- On your feet!
435
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,837
Of all the dumb,
stupid things to do,
436
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:43,505
bringing a dame
into your quarters!
437
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:46,467
Dumb and stupid,
stupid and dumb.
438
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:50,012
Now, I don't want a sign,
not a smell or a trace,
439
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:53,265
that there was a girl in this area!
Do you hear me?
440
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,726
Yes, sir. All taken care of, sir.
441
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:59,063
I'll have you doin' push-ups
till you're an old man!
442
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:00,439
Yes, sir.
443
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,733
- All right, get outta here!
- Yes, sir.
444
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,613
Excuse me, sir.
Sorry, sir. Aye, aye, sir.
445
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,159
What a knucklehead.
446
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,869
He's the worst.
447
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,455
He always manages
to find somehow to...
448
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:22,086
Hmm, cute!
449
00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:24,421
Are you gonna wear this
Saturday night?
450
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:32,471
Pyle!
33912
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