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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004 [marching band playing] 2 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,887 [male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC. 3 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,225 Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle. 4 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,355 Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter. 5 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,208 Hemsley! 6 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,920 - Yes, sir! - What does that sign say? 7 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,547 Mess hall, sir! 8 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:51,051 And what do we use a mess hall for, Hemsley? 9 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,470 - Eating, sir! - That's right! 10 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,889 And that's the only place we eat! 11 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,724 We don't eat on the grounds! 12 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,560 We don't eat in the quarters! 13 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,478 We eat in the mess hall! 14 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,273 And we don't take any food out of there! 15 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,316 - Get rid of it! - Yes, sir! 16 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,069 And we don't waste food, do we, Hemsley? 17 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,279 No, sir! 18 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,117 Will you remember that? 19 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,036 [muffled] Yes, sir! 20 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,288 Move it! 21 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,719 [Carter] Pyle! 22 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,892 You know what, Pyle? I think you're gettin' fat! 23 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,604 [in southern accent] Well, sir, they do feed good in there. 24 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,689 I mean, that's real town eatin'. 25 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,066 What are you, some kind of chowhound? 26 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,444 - Pull in that gut. - Yes, sir. 27 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,488 I said pull in that gut! Pull in that gut! 28 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,575 You know, gut-pullin'-in is one of my biggest weaknesses. 29 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,619 I know I'll get the hang of it, though. 30 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:02,664 I've made up my mind to it. Gut-pullin'-in. Yes, sir. 31 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,001 How many times did you go through that chow line? 32 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,378 - Twice, sir. - What are you trying to do? 33 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,213 You got a lot of fat between your ears, 34 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,799 now you're trying to match it up further down? Is that it? 35 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,261 Well, sir, I guess I'm just one of them unlucky people. 36 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,306 - Take after my mama's side of the family. - Huh? 37 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,266 Well, on my mama's side of the family, 38 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,894 every blessed thing they eat turns right into fat, 39 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,729 but on my daddy's side, it's just the opposite. 40 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,815 They can eat and eat and eat, and it don't hardly ever show. 41 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,859 - Pyle. - Used to make my mama so mad. 42 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,987 She'd say to daddy, "How come you can eat and eat and eat 43 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,280 and it don't hardly ever show, 44 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,990 and I can eat just a little bit and it just..." 45 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,116 Stow it! 46 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,329 Now, let's watch it! Cut down on the spuds! 47 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,747 That's another thing. 48 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,707 Daddy could eat all the taters he wanted to, 49 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,960 - but mama would just eat one tater... - Knock it off! 50 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,879 - Now, move out! - Yes, sir. 51 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,048 Pull it in, pull it in! 52 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,759 That's another thing. Mama used to try to pull it in and... 53 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,136 Get outta here! Go, go, go! 54 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,975 Hey, Joey. 55 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,978 I brought you somethin' to eat. 56 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:11,733 See here. I got some little, boiled taters 57 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,235 and some--some weenies 58 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,571 and some bread, 59 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,532 a little cartoon of milk. 60 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,035 That was cold sittin' up against me. 61 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,914 That's-- That's real swell of you, Gomer. 62 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,417 Go on and eat it fast before the Sergeant comes back. 63 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,085 I can't. 64 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:33,797 Y-You're a real goombah, but... Thanks, I can't. 65 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,257 But you gotta eat somethin'. 66 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,175 You'll just knot up inside if you don't. 67 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,760 That's what happens when you don't eat. 68 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,179 You just get all knotted up inside. Here, eat somethin'. 69 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,266 It's no use! I just don't feel like eatin'! 70 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:47,227 Look, I know you was taking a big chance sneaking this stuff out, 71 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,187 and--and I appreciate it. You know what I mean? 72 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,480 But I just can't! 73 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,733 Come on, Joey, you gotta stop mopin'. 74 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,484 She's gonna write to you any day now. 75 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,111 You'll see, there's gonna be a letter. 76 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,696 Of all the dumb, idiotic things, 77 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,449 I have to have a fight with my girl just before I leave for boot camp. 78 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,783 [reproaching in Italian] 79 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,119 She'll write to you any day now. You'll see. 80 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,538 When? When, already? It's two weeks, and nothing! 81 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,331 [reproaching fervidly in Italian] 82 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,334 Joey, you gotta quit hittin' yourself in the head like that. 83 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,420 You gonna make yourself loopy. 84 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,214 Why won't she write, huh, Gomer? Why won't she write? 85 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,841 [shushing] 86 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,385 I imagine it's 'cause what you said to her mama. 87 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,637 You oughtn't have told her mama to go jump in the lake. 88 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,056 Why not, huh? Why not? 89 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,351 Me and Rosemary were all for gettin' married on my first leave, 90 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,313 and then her mother... Oh, her mother! You know what she says? 91 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,564 She says, "What's the rush? 92 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,983 Let's make sure first he doesn't get a dishonorable discharge." 93 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,194 So I tell her to go jump in the lake. 94 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,488 Now, the old lady gets mad, rosey gets mad, I get mad, 95 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,698 and here I am with no letters! 96 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,408 You oughtn't said that. 97 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,951 [reproaching in Italian] 98 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,953 Joey, you gotta quit doin' that. 99 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,375 [man] Sergeant Carter's on his way, you guys. 100 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,171 Ten-hut! 101 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,257 All you people listen up! 102 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:03,011 Tomorrow being Sunday, it's a day of recreation! 103 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,639 Does that make you people happy? 104 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,224 [all] Yes, sir. 105 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,684 Then look happy! 106 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,103 What's the matter? Aren't you happy here? 107 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,563 [all] Yes, sir! 108 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,398 Well, let's hear it! 109 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:19,110 - We're happy, sir. - I can't hear you! 110 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,446 - We're happy, sir! - Okay! 111 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:26,660 Tomorrow will be a recreation day for all of you, except one. 112 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:32,332 I need one of you people to air some mattresses out back. 113 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,128 Now, who needs a little exercise? 114 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,799 Who is a chowhound 115 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,761 that needs to work off a little extra lard? 116 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,725 What time, sir? 117 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,189 Believe me, Miss Cassanetti, I sympathize, 118 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,734 but our regulations in this connection are very specific. 119 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,695 Recruits are not permitted visitors 120 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,197 until they have completed four weeks of training. 121 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,449 Private Lombardi has not been here that long. 122 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,368 But can't I see him for a minute? 123 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,954 I came such a long way, and it's Sunday. 124 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,372 I'm very sorry, 125 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,542 but if we start making exceptions there'll be no end to it. 126 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,793 Why don't you write to him? 127 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,713 Well, up until last night, my mother wouldn't even let me do that. 128 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,590 But I finally showed her where she was wrong, 129 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,174 and I rushed right over here. 130 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,344 Can't I see him? I gotta tell him everything's all right. 131 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:29,973 I really would like to help you. I hope you'll understand. 132 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,019 Well, thanks anyway. 133 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:39,316 Today, being Sunday, is a day of recreation! 134 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:44,529 I wanna see every one of you people participating 135 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,406 and having fun! 136 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,702 I don't wanna catch anybody 137 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,538 not having fun! 138 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,248 Is that clear? 139 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,752 - [all] Yes, sir! - What are you going to have? 140 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,504 - Fun, sir! - Fall out! 141 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,221 - What's the matter with you? - Can I be excused, sir? 142 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,641 I don't feel too good, sir. 143 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,684 You don't feel too good, where? 144 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,062 My stomach, sir. 145 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,813 You mean you don't want to get out there 146 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,857 with the rest of those people and have fun? 147 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,109 No, sir. If you don't mind, sir. 148 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,111 Well, I do mind! 149 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,906 So next Sunday, you be out there and have fun. 150 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,866 Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. 151 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,355 Hey, ma'am. 152 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,940 Hello. 153 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,903 - Are you waitin' on somebody? - Well, kind of. 154 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:10,824 I was hoping I'd catch a glimpse of my boyfriend. He's stationed here. 155 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,785 Oh, but it's such a big place, and there's so many. 156 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,161 I'll never find him. 157 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,498 Well, who is your boyfriend, ma'am? If I ain't bein' too personal. 158 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,000 Maybe I know him. 159 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,334 I sure doubt it. 160 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,295 His name's Lombardi. Joey Lombardi. 161 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,923 Joey Lombardi? Do I know him! 162 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,717 Why, Joey and me is buddies! 163 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,011 - You don't mean it! - I sure do! 164 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,930 Why, he sleeps in the bed right next to me. I mean "bunk." 165 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,682 You don't ever say "bed" down here. 166 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:40,186 Don't ever let a Drill Instructor hear you say "bed" or "floor." 167 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,523 It's a "bunk" and the floor is "deck" 168 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,817 and the wall is "bulkhead." 169 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,028 Betcha don't know what they call a door. 170 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,363 A "hatch." 171 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,824 Tell me about Joey. You really know him? 172 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,618 I sure do. Imagine runnin' into you like this. 173 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,830 Hey, you got to be Rosemary. 174 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,415 That's right. 175 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:03,126 Well, would you pay attention to this! It's like they say. 176 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,878 It's a little bitty world, ain't it? 177 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,547 Pleased to meet you, ma'am. I'm Gomer Pyle. 178 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,924 Hello, Gomer. Joey told you about me? 179 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,178 - About all there is to tell. - Gomer, how is he? 180 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:17,599 Well, he mopes around a lot, and he don't eat much, and he don't sleep, 181 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,476 and he hits himself in the head a lot. 182 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,644 Other than that, though, he's just fine. 183 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,146 Poor Joey. 184 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,356 Gosh, he's gonna be so tickled to see you, 185 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,317 he ain't gonna quit grinnin' for a month. 186 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,820 - But I can't see him! - Huh? Why not? 187 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,448 Oh, well, I don't have permission. You see, I was... 188 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,991 Well, you got my permission. 189 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,993 You come all this way to see your loved one 190 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,079 and not see him. Why, that'd be cruel. 191 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,247 Come on, I'm gonna take you to your loved one. 192 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,957 Why, that'd be a terrible disappointment, 193 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,918 if you didn't get to see your loved one. 194 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,004 You just come on with me. 195 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,903 Hey, Joey. 196 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,280 Hey, Gomer. 197 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,535 Joey? 198 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,668 rosey? 199 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091 - rosey! Oh, rosey! - Oh, Joey. 200 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,593 That's who it is, all right. It's Rosemary, your loved one. 201 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,638 [Joey] I missed you so much, baby. 202 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,390 [Rosey sobbing] Oh, Joey. 203 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,894 - [sobbing] - Oh, rosey. 204 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,731 - [sobbing] - What are you cryin' for? 205 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,234 You ain't supposed to do that. You're supposed to be happy. 206 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,902 [both sobbing] 207 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,780 You're supposed to be happy. You ain't supposed to do that. 208 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,658 - [Rosey] Oh, Joey. - Gosh! What do you folks do at funerals? 209 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,286 Oh, baby. 210 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,912 Gomer says you're not eating. 211 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,831 Why don't you eat, Joey? You'll get sick. 212 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,000 I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Nothing! 213 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,335 Oh, but everything's gonna be okay now. 214 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,421 Hey, hey. That was real nice of the Colonel 215 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:14,299 to give you permission to come see me. But what are you doing back here? 216 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,467 They don't allow anybody back here, especially women. 217 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,512 I didn't, Joey. I didn't get permission from the Colonel. 218 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,432 - No? Well, who gave you permission? - Him. 219 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,059 - Him? - Me. 220 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,394 He brought you in here? 221 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,771 What's the matter, Joey? Are you gonna get in trouble? 222 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,856 [door opens] 223 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,608 [all chattering] 224 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,236 What's going on? Who's this? 225 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,739 Hey, fellers. This is Rosemary, Joey's girl. 226 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,115 She's his loved one. 227 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,159 Say "hey" to the fellers, Miss Rosemary. 228 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,912 - Hey. - [all] Hi, Rosemary. 229 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,830 Are you guys nuts? Standing around with the introductions! 230 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,165 There's a civilian back here. 231 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,626 - And a female civilian! - I know, I know. We were just going! 232 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,753 What are you worried about, Duke? It's my girl and my problem! 233 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,713 Oh, no, it isn't, buster. It's everybody's problem! 234 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,299 They find her back here and we all get the boom lowered on us! 235 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,968 All right, all right. Look, we'll take her out the way she came in! 236 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,386 [Duke] Well, how'd she come in here, anyway? 237 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,429 I brung her. 238 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,640 You brung... Gomer, what's the matter with you, 239 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,225 sneaking a dame in the barracks? 240 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,852 We didn't sneak. I was bringin' in some mattresses, 241 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,104 and Miss Rosemary just come along right beside us. 242 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,690 Oh, Gomer, you sneaked her in behind a mattress? 243 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,401 - We didn't sneak! - Okay, you didn't sneak! 244 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,612 Don't care much for that expression. 245 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:20,073 Oh, boys, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna get you all in trouble. 246 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,700 No, you're not, Miss Rosemary. Now, don't you fret none. 247 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,662 Hey, guys, think of something quick! Here comes the Sergeant! 248 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,416 We didn't sneak. 249 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,719 [all clamoring] 250 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,845 - What'll we do? - Get under the bunk! 251 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,389 [Gomer] Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 252 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,599 I really think we ought to tell the Sergeant the truth. 253 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,434 [all clamoring] 254 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,730 [man] Ten-hut! 255 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,233 [whispering] Don't. 256 00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,488 Well, did you people have your recreation? 257 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,533 - [all] Yes, sir! - And did you have fun? 258 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,410 Yes, sir! 259 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,912 Did you finish with that mattress detail? 260 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,040 Yes, sir. And I had fun, too, sir. 261 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,417 What? 262 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,670 It was just the recreation I needed for a lazy Sunday afternoon. 263 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,631 Well, that's just dandy. Maybe I... 264 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,050 [sniffing] 265 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,803 Who is using perfumed soap? 266 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:31,019 All right, who's using fancy shaving lotion? 267 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:35,315 Now, look. There's one thing you people have a right to know! 268 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,735 And that is, my nose don't lie! 269 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,154 Whatever it is, get rid of it! 270 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,949 You expect to be Marines? You better smell like 'em! 271 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:48,036 And that ain't a Marine smell! Is that clear? 272 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,204 - [all] Yes, sir! - All right! 273 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,551 Okay! 274 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,927 [all clamoring] 275 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,179 [man] He's gotta get rid of her. 276 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,056 Hold it! Hold it! Gomer, go get a mattress. 277 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,807 - Huh? - Hurry up! Get the mattress! 278 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,434 Let's go. Hurry. 279 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,685 Gomer sneaked her in behind a mattress. 280 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,936 It oughta work the same way going out. 281 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,355 Come on, Gomer. Sneak her out the same way. 282 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,648 It wasn't sneakin'. 283 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:20,360 - Okay. Okay. All right... - I don't sneak. 284 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,487 All right. The rest of us better stay here and lay low, 285 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,030 so we don't attract any attention. 286 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,282 Oh, Joey. I'm so sorry for making all this trouble. 287 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,910 Come on, come on. Now, Gomer, keep her hidden behind that mattress! 288 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,079 - Keep her hidden! - Gung-ho. 289 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,206 That means, "Everybody workin' together." 290 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,415 Go! Go! 291 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,793 [Joey] Goodbye, rosey. 292 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,235 - Good afternoon, sir. - What are you doing, Private? 293 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,112 Mattress detail, sir. 294 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,488 On Sunday? 295 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,491 Yes, sir. Sergeant said I need to work off some lard. 296 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,494 - Carry on. - Yes, sir. 297 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,745 Go ahead. 298 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,666 I think we can go now, Rosemary. 299 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,001 I don't think it would hurt, anyways. 300 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,715 Rosemary? 301 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,050 Rosemary? 302 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,264 Pyle! 303 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,225 I thought you finished this mattress detail. 304 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,018 Yes, sir. I did, sir. 305 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,563 But not quite, sir. No, sir. 306 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,899 Well, finish it! Get those mattresses back on the double! 307 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,151 Yes, sir. 308 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,256 Pyle... 309 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,593 Gomer Pyle? 310 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,100 Stay right where you are. 311 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,354 Don't move. Don't go no place. 312 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,855 Just stay right there. 313 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,902 Gomer, where did she go? Where did she go? 314 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,153 What do you mean you lost her! 315 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,821 Where were you when the officer showed up? 316 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,074 Well, I was somewhere near Sergeant Carter's hut. 317 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,700 [all] Oh, no! 318 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,452 Oh, she wouldn't have gone in there. 319 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,787 [Hemsley] Hey, you guys! 320 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,122 Here he comes, with murder in his eye! 321 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,791 This is it, fellas! Zero hour! 322 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,042 [man] Ten-hut! 323 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,048 Why? 324 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,677 Just one thing. Why? 325 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,221 - Sir... - What are you trying to do to me? 326 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,973 You wanna destroy me, is that it? 327 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,642 - Sir... - Sixteen years in the Marine Corps. 328 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,644 - Sir... - Five Good Conduct Medals, 329 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:45,231 cited for bravery in Korea, three Honor Platoons in a row. 330 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,525 - Sir... - Sixteen years of working hard, 331 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,819 sacrificing, trying to make good. 332 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,738 Sixteen years to get to the top of my profession, 333 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,865 and you gotta foul the whole thing up 334 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,076 by stashing a dame in my locker! 335 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,995 - But I didn't... - Pyle! 336 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,456 Do you have any idea what they'll do with me 337 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:06,294 if they find a dame stashed in a Drill Instructor's locker? 338 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,879 Do you know the best that can happen to me? 339 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,799 If I'm lucky, I'll go to Leavenworth! 340 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,469 You see, that's in Kansas, not too far from my hometown! 341 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,805 - Sir... - What do you want? 342 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,182 Sir, the girl in your locker happens to be my girl. 343 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,976 Gomer was just trying to get her off the base. 344 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,812 - It's all my fault that Gomer... - No, it's not your fault, Joey. 345 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,147 I'm the one that brought her on to here. 346 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,398 But she's my girl and she came here... 347 00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,983 But I told her that she could come on here... 348 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:30,651 Gomer, she wouldn't have come if it were... 349 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,862 - You never would... - Knock it off! Both of you! 350 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,239 Let me think. 351 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,367 Sir, if I may suggest, 352 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,037 the best way is always the easy, direct way. 353 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,663 Why don't I go up to Colonel and say, 354 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,041 "Colonel, we got this problem. 355 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,627 You see, we got this young lady in Sergeant Carter..." 356 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,921 Don't you say anything. 357 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,258 Don't move, don't talk, don't even breathe. 358 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,554 - But it's my responsibility. - It was your responsibility. 359 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,973 But now it's on my back. Do you understand? 360 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,809 It's now my responsibility! Mine! 361 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,103 You, I'll take care of later! 362 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,398 Right now, we gotta get that girl out of here and fast! 363 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,818 I got it. 364 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,614 We leave her in the locker. That's how we get her out. 365 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,991 We walk her out, locker and all. 366 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,827 Now, that's sneaky. What I done wasn't sneaky. 367 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,496 Knock it off! 368 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,836 Easy, easy. That's my girl in there. 369 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,005 Yeah. Don't jangle his loved one. 370 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,177 All right, let's go. This way, this way. 371 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,403 Good afternoon, sir. 372 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,571 Good afternoon. What have we got here, Sergeant? 373 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,367 Personal locker. A little, uh, paint and repair, sir. 374 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,245 Yes, sir. A little repair job and some paint. 375 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,539 Looks like they did a good job. 376 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,250 Here, I'll hold the door for you. 377 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,336 Thank you, sir. 378 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,558 Hold it, hold it! You got her upside down! 379 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,991 rosey, are you all right? 380 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,325 [Rosey] I-I'm all right. 381 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,417 Sergeant? 382 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,753 I'm sorry your locker idea didn't work. 383 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,130 Pyle... 384 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,845 I may only get chewed out for this. 385 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,347 Then again, I might lose my stripes 386 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,767 and get busted down to a buck private. 387 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,772 I might even get sent to the brig for... Who knows? 388 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,859 Say, a month, a year. 389 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,906 But one day, they'll let me out. 390 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,825 And when they do, 391 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:28,120 I'm going to look for you. 392 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,833 I'm going to look and look 393 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,585 until I find you. 394 00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,671 Because I'll find you. 395 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,550 And when I find you, 396 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,844 I'm not gonna kill you right away. 397 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:47,264 - Not right away. - But, sir... 398 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:51,977 First, I gotta figure out how I'm going to kill you. 399 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,355 Oh, it might be by strangulation. 400 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,816 - Or it might be... - Sir. 401 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,692 You've got every right to feel that way. 402 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,653 This whole thing's my fault. 403 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,030 I thought I was helpin' out a buddy, 404 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,533 and I never expected to get you into trouble. 405 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,618 I just feel terrible. 406 00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,870 - Do you really? - Oh, yes, sir. 407 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:17,503 No, not yet, not yet. 408 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,255 Sir, what I wanted to say is, 409 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,132 I got this idea of how to get Miss Rosemary out of here, 410 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,467 and I'm sure it'll work. 411 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,928 You are, huh? 412 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,847 I promise, and if it don't, 413 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:31,183 you can go ahead and strangulate me right here. 414 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,018 All right, you people! Let's move! Let's move! 415 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,604 You in there, come on! Let's move! Dress it up! 416 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,315 Left face! 417 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,860 Forward march! 418 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,361 Left, right, left! 419 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,530 Oh, now, there's an eager beaver for you. 420 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,824 Don't even let his boots off on Sunday. 421 00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:49,493 You know, maybe that's how he gets those Honor Platoons. 422 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:50,578 Yeah. 423 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:54,290 [Carter] Left, right, left, right, left, two, three, four... 424 00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:01,255 Left and left, two, three, right, left... 425 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,467 Company, left turn! 426 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:10,306 Left, right, left, right! Left, two, three, right, left, right, left! 427 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,849 Right... 428 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,142 Turn! 429 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:15,644 Left, right, left, right, left, right! 430 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,776 Right, left, right, left! 431 00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:23,944 Get in line! 432 00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,613 Get in there! 433 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,662 - Forty-nine, sir. - Fifty! 434 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,081 - Fifty, sir. - On your feet! 435 00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,837 Of all the dumb, stupid things to do, 436 00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:43,505 bringing a dame into your quarters! 437 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:46,467 Dumb and stupid, stupid and dumb. 438 00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:50,012 Now, I don't want a sign, not a smell or a trace, 439 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:53,265 that there was a girl in this area! Do you hear me? 440 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,726 Yes, sir. All taken care of, sir. 441 00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:59,063 I'll have you doin' push-ups till you're an old man! 442 00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:00,439 Yes, sir. 443 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,733 - All right, get outta here! - Yes, sir. 444 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,613 Excuse me, sir. Sorry, sir. Aye, aye, sir. 445 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,159 What a knucklehead. 446 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,869 He's the worst. 447 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,455 He always manages to find somehow to... 448 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:22,086 Hmm, cute! 449 00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:24,421 Are you gonna wear this Saturday night? 450 00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:32,471 Pyle! 33912

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