Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,459
♪ It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:14,796
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:14,865 --> 00:00:18,449
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,486
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,823
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:28,110
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do
7
00:00:28,178 --> 00:00:29,761
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,379
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:36,618
♪ He's a family guy ♪
10
00:00:44,662 --> 00:00:46,328
The Feast of San Gennaro.
11
00:00:46,396 --> 00:00:50,165
Every child here
has seen a relative
murdered in a barber chair.
12
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:51,500
Step right up!
13
00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:54,485
Teach an old Italian
lady how to use an iPad.
14
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,888
Oh, that sounds like fun.
I'll give it a try.
15
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,341
Hey, how are you?
Look what I got for you.
16
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:00,486
What is it?
17
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:01,609
It's a tablet computer.
18
00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:02,722
I don't want it.
19
00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:04,024
But, you don't
even know what it is.
20
00:01:04,048 --> 00:01:05,241
I don't want it!
21
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,565
But you can watch movies on it.
22
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,794
My eyes hurt.
23
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,434
I'm trying to do
something nice here.
24
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,264
For the last time,
I don't want it.
25
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,571
I bet you if Joey
was givin' it to you,
you'd take it!
26
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,224
Don't you bring him into this.
Joey was a good boy.
27
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,226
Oh, yeah, yeah!
Joey was a good boy?
28
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,672
You thought he was making
100 grand a year
29
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:20,712
hauling lumber?
30
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:21,842
Don't you start with this!
31
00:01:21,866 --> 00:01:22,931
He was dirty, Ma!
32
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,944
I can't hear this.
I won't hear it!
33
00:01:24,968 --> 00:01:26,145
He was an angel!
34
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,602
Oh, that's right! Angel Joey!
35
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:29,037
Great Joey! Perfect Joey!
36
00:01:29,106 --> 00:01:30,472
I got to go to the church.
37
00:01:30,541 --> 00:01:31,723
Oh, yeah, sure.
38
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,019
Light another candle.
That'll bring him back!
39
00:01:33,043 --> 00:01:34,793
You watch your tongue!
Admit it!
40
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,978
You wish it was me in that car
instead of him!
41
00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:38,909
Just take your little TV and go!
42
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,699
It's an iPad, you dumb cow!
43
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,736
I guess I don't
have any sons now.
44
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:45,838
Ma!
45
00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:47,322
I'm sorry, Ma!
46
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,440
Ma!
47
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,758
Ma!
48
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,088
Hey, Brian. Look over there.
49
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,107
That guy looks
like Frank Sinatra Jr.
50
00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:55,364
Stewie, this is Federal Hill.
51
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,349
Everybody looks
like Frank Sinatra Jr.
52
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,880
Well, then, who's that guy
who looks like
a young Frank Sinatra?
53
00:01:59,904 --> 00:02:01,765
Oh, that's Woody Allen's son,
but you're right,
54
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,139
that other guy behind him
is Frank Sinatra Jr.
55
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,840
Stewie, Elliot.
56
00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:07,409
It... It's actually Brian.
57
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:09,311
We've...
We've met many times before.
58
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,695
Then who's Elliot?
59
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,213
I... I really wouldn't know.
60
00:02:12,282 --> 00:02:14,344
This is a bad start to
whatever we're doing.
61
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,879
Well, now,
what brings you fellas
to the festival?
62
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,598
My dad will drive long distances
63
00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,283
for ice with
colored liquid in it.
64
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,347
They got blue!
65
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,258
And we all love
the Italian food.
66
00:02:23,327 --> 00:02:25,160
Oh, you like Italian food?
67
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,511
Want a meatball?
68
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,230
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that.
69
00:02:28,299 --> 00:02:31,249
But it's a shame we can't get
good Italian food
like this in Quahog.
70
00:02:31,301 --> 00:02:34,986
Well, maybe the three of us
ought to open
an Italian restaurant there.
71
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,272
Open our own Italian restaurant?
72
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,773
I say, that sounds fun.
73
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,341
You, uh...
74
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,970
You keep
meatballs in your jacket?
75
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:44,796
Oh, yeah. All my pockets
are lined with Reynolds Wrap.
76
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,510
I'd learned that
from my old buddies,
Dean Martin Jr.,
77
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,535
Joey Bishop Jr.,
and Sammy Davis III.
78
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,116
Hey, where's Chris?
79
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,073
He's over there,
playing that carnival game.
80
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,290
Step right up.
81
00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:59,594
Everybody take a chance
on Whack A-Big Pussy!
82
00:02:59,663 --> 00:03:01,173
Hey, Tone.
Hey, Tone.
83
00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:02,809
Hey, Tone.
Hey, Tone.
84
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,000
This is not what
I thought it was!
85
00:03:07,804 --> 00:03:09,972
Oh, my God!
Chris is out of control.
86
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,406
I know.
87
00:03:11,475 --> 00:03:13,569
It must be all
the violence in movies
and sex on TV.
88
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:14,593
Oh!
89
00:03:14,645 --> 00:03:16,325
See, I listen.
90
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,264
Peter, we need to talk about
what happened at
the street fair.
91
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,837
Lois, it's an Italian festival.
92
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,625
You're supposed to yell,
"Bella, bella,"
93
00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,408
and grab as much
fat ass as you can.
94
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,226
No, I'm talking about Chris.
95
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:34,395
I had no idea he had
so much pent-up aggression.
96
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,526
We have to deal
with his anger issues
before he hurts himself.
97
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:41,086
Or, do we keep pushing him
and see if he
turns into the Hulk?
98
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,872
Because, I...
I'm not gonna lie,
I... I would love that.
99
00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:46,441
He spends too much time
cooped up in his room.
100
00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:48,793
Uh, maybe we should find
some sort of physical activity
101
00:03:48,846 --> 00:03:50,357
for him to work
out his aggression.
102
00:03:50,381 --> 00:03:51,746
Yeah,
that's good thinking, Lois.
103
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,215
I've seen what
happens when people
104
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:54,810
hold in their
aggression for too long.
105
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,035
Don't forget,
I was in that
elevator with Jay-Z.
106
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,283
Hey, could you
have your guy hit two?
107
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,308
I got to get down to
the business center
to print out my boarding pass.
108
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,544
Oh! Hey!
That's gonna leave a mark.
109
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,173
That's from a movie.
110
00:04:07,197 --> 00:04:09,897
So you girls
traveling with your dad here?
111
00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:13,234
Hey,
don't kick him, muddy shoes.
He's got a white suit on.
112
00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:15,181
Hey, look,
I don't know if you guys
are really staying here,
113
00:04:15,205 --> 00:04:17,885
but you can't
get into the pool
without a room key.
114
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:24,190
Okay, Chris,
your mom and I
want to help you
115
00:04:24,214 --> 00:04:25,875
get out some of that aggression,
116
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,833
so I thought you and me could
huck rotten apples
at passing cars.
117
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,771
Oh, I didn't know we had
brown apple in the forecast.
118
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,173
Well, we needed it.
119
00:04:38,429 --> 00:04:40,278
Wow! Can I have a turn?
120
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,288
Hey! Which one of you
threw that apple at my car?
121
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:53,541
He did it!
He dragged me out here.
I wanted to be in school, sir.
122
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:55,572
Where'd you get
a cannon like that, kid?
123
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,812
I work out my right
arm three times a day.
124
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,009
Hmm. Free weights?
125
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:01,733
No, mostly JPEGs of Helen Hunt
on my hard drive.
126
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,696
Well, I'm Coach Doyle
and I head up
the baseball team
127
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,914
at James Woods High.
128
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,339
What fake class
do they also make you teach?
129
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,302
Driver's ed, right?
No, wood shop.
130
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,008
Ah, that was my second guess.
131
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,707
Tell me, son.
How would you like to pitch
for the high school team?
132
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:16,348
Baseball's the sport
people play
while eating, right?
133
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,845
Oh, yeah. Sometimes,
I even watch
a whole Blacklist.
134
00:05:18,869 --> 00:05:21,552
I don't know.
I've never played
baseball before.
135
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,271
Aw, come on, Chris.
You gotta do it.
136
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,637
If you don't, you'll regret it.
137
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:27,942
Just like Jesus' friend, Evan,
who bailed on the Last Supper.
138
00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:29,894
Aw, they did a paintin'?
139
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,247
I would've gone if I knew
they were gonna do a paintin'.
140
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,536
Here we are, fellas.
141
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,856
The future site
of Quahog's newest
Italian restaurant.
142
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,893
Wow! This is a great location.
Can we afford this?
143
00:05:44,962 --> 00:05:47,774
Sure, we can.
I set up one of
those Kickstarters.
144
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,693
Then I realized
how stupid that is,
145
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,211
and I went to
the bank for a loan
like an adult.
146
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,218
Now, fellas, the tables should
all be bolted
147
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,171
to the floor to prevent theft.
148
00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:58,067
You know, most restaurants
go out of business
149
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,119
because people are
stealing the tables.
150
00:06:00,143 --> 00:06:02,627
The toilets should also
be bolted to the floor.
151
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,929
I think that's
pretty standard,
Frank, but okay.
152
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,076
Great. Now let's go find
some chump's restaurant
153
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,260
and steal his
tables and toilets.
154
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,839
James Woods is winning for now.
155
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:22,858
But y'all neverknow what might happenin the moments to come.
156
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,668
I mean, look.There's two baseball guysout on the bases right now.
157
00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:29,136
What if they's run
to the scoring place?
158
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,010
Oh, here comes the new boy.
159
00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:36,694
All right, Chris!
160
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,858
Wow! I've never seen him
run onto a baseball field
161
00:06:38,882 --> 00:06:42,000
when he wasn't chasing a duck
or being chased by a duck.
162
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,229
Is that a duck over there?
163
00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:45,771
Ah, come on!
What the hell's
Coach Doyle thinking
164
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,555
bringing in that fat slob?
165
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,107
You know what?
166
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:52,426
I bet you 100 bucks
that fat slob
strikes this kid out.
167
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:53,861
Ha! You're on.
168
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,617
Strike one!
169
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,488
Strike two!
170
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:04,636
Ooh!
171
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,198
Strike three!
172
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,437
Three strikes and he's out.
173
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,872
Just like my cousin
Freddie with the drugs.
174
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,675
Holy crap! A hundred bucks!
175
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,944
Hey, nice going, Chris!
176
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:30,115
Wow, look how proud my dad is.
177
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,783
Oh, my God! A duck!
178
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,469
It was a trap!
179
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,646
Guys, tonight,
the drinks are on me.
180
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,649
I just won 100 bucks
off Chris' baseball game.
181
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,201
Really? How'd you do that?
182
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,787
This dad took
one look at Chris
and thought he'd suck,
183
00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:55,089
but it turns out
Chris is a great pitcher.
184
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,809
I'm so proud of the money
I won bettin' on him.
185
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,189
You know,
I'd bet there are plenty
of other baseball dads
186
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,858
who'd also assume Chris stinks.
187
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,226
Peter,
we could make a lot of money.
188
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,000
Yeah, we could make
Toni Braxton money.
189
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,668
Is that... Is that a lot?
190
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,836
It's a lot.
191
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,404
And then nothing.
192
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:13,441
And then
a record whose proceeds
go directly to creditors.
193
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:26,754
♪ Put me in coach
I'm ready to play today
194
00:08:28,225 --> 00:08:34,379
♪ Put me in coach
I'm ready to play today
195
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:38,817
♪ Look at me,
I can be centerfield
196
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,990
♪ Well, I spent some
time in the Mudville Nine
197
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,759
♪ Watching it from the bench
198
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:52,430
♪ You know I took some lumpswhen the mightyCase struck out
199
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:58,153
♪ So say,
hey, Willie, tell the Cobb
200
00:08:58,221 --> 00:09:01,172
♪ And Joe DiMaggio
201
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,860
♪ Don't say it ain't so
You know the time is now ♪
202
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,323
Frank,
where the hell is everybody?
203
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,066
This was supposed to be
our big opening night.
204
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,556
I'll tell you
what the problem is.
205
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,492
Every successful restaurant
has a hook or a gimmick.
206
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,827
That's what we're lacking.
207
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,646
No, we're not.
208
00:09:24,715 --> 00:09:26,397
Frank, you're the hook!
209
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,078
That's right.
We just need to make you
the face of the restaurant.
210
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,230
Well, it may be
the five loaves
of garlic bread
211
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:33,071
I ate this morning talkin',
212
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,839
but I think it's a swell idea.
213
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,781
♪ You'll love the meal
214
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,483
♪ The fancy feel
215
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,703
♪ The showbiz story
is why you eat your veal
216
00:09:48,771 --> 00:09:52,040
♪ It's family
dining with a mobster feel
217
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,775
♪ At Frank
Sinatra's Restaurant
218
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,044
♪ Junior!
♪ The wine is red
219
00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:58,963
♪ With lots of bread
220
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:02,217
♪ And portions are
bigger than a horse's head
221
00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:05,436
♪ You'll burp up
sausages tonight in bed
222
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:09,240
♪ At Frank
Sinatra's Restaurant
223
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,825
♪ Here's a toast
224
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,646
♪ To our host
225
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,898
♪ Where food's not great
226
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:22,186
♪ But drink enough
and you won't know
227
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,788
♪ The guests will swoon
228
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,423
♪ And Frank will croon
229
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,710
♪ A beep-bop-dooby-dop
Italian tune
230
00:10:28,779 --> 00:10:34,565
♪ You dine like royalty
at Frank Sinatra's Restaurant
231
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,571
♪ We got big plans
to please our fans
232
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,058
♪ Our cocktail
waitress has enormous cans
233
00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:47,228
♪ A men's room servant
who will dry your hands
234
00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:50,148
♪ At Frank
Sinatra's Restaurant
235
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,952
♪ Our pizza pies
could win a prize
236
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,071
♪ The jukebox
catalog is double size
237
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,807
♪ It plays both
Capitol and yes, Reprise
238
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:01,116
♪ That's "Repreese"
239
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:03,311
♪ At Frank
Sinatra's Restaurant
240
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,647
♪ Gorgeous views
241
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,767
♪ And top-shelf booze
242
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,137
♪ Yes, we serve Jews ♪
243
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,272
Um...
244
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,108
♪ That was never an issue
245
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,411
♪ So raise your glass
We'll have a gas
246
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,781
♪ The seating's limited,
so move your ass
247
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:30,055
♪ And plant it firmlyHere at FrankSinatra's Restaurant
248
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,391
♪ Frank's Restaurant
249
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:39,630
♪ Frank's Restaurant ♪
250
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,492
Wow, look at this, guys.
251
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:54,329
I can't believe
we made all this in one game.
252
00:11:54,397 --> 00:11:56,698
Yeah, I'm having a great time
handling this money
253
00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,049
and then touching my eyeball.
254
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,919
Jerome! Another round
for my blurry friends.
255
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,587
Yeah, we got a good thing goin'.
256
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,072
We just have to keep
Chris' talent a secret.
257
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,852
Good Evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
258
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:09,488
Our top story tonight.The James WoodsHigh baseball team
259
00:12:09,512 --> 00:12:12,580
is headed tothe district championshipthanks to their secret weapon,
260
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,782
star pitcher, Chris Griffin.
261
00:12:14,851 --> 00:12:17,534
Ah, crap! Now everyone knows
Chris is a ringer!
262
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,454
Tom Tucker just
ruined everything.
263
00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:22,039
This sucks even worse
than when I stubbed my toe!
264
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,954
Ah!
265
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:28,162
Why does everything bad
always happen to me?
266
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,998
Answer me,
guy in box and guy on cross!
267
00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:39,958
Stewie, can I talk to you?
268
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,827
Look,
Brian, I affectionately pat
all the waiters on the arse.
269
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,339
And if
anyone has a problem with it,
270
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:45,974
they should come to me directly!
271
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,699
No, no, it's not that.
I've been going
through our receipts,
272
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,334
and we're actually losing money.
273
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:51,502
Well, yeah, duh.
274
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,322
Frank comps every meal.
Look, he's doing it again.
275
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,407
Little-known secret
about Charlton Heston.
276
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,777
Never used toilet paper.
Just drop and go.
277
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,596
Here, let me get
that check for you.
278
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:08,886
Well, it's official.
279
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:10,905
Nobody wants to bet
against Chris now.
280
00:13:10,973 --> 00:13:13,985
Damn it! I can't believe
my kid isn't making money
for us anymore.
281
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:16,177
I feel like
Jessica Simpson's dad.
282
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:17,873
Well, there are
plenty of guys willing
283
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,658
to bet on James
Woods High to win,
284
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:21,166
I'll tell you that.
285
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,154
The only way we can ever
make money now
is if Chris lost.
286
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,170
Wait a minute, Joe! That's it!
287
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,290
All we got to do
is take those bets
and get Chris to take a dive.
288
00:13:29,359 --> 00:13:30,591
Hold on, Peter.
289
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:33,428
You're gonna ask your own son
to lose on purpose?
290
00:13:33,496 --> 00:13:36,563
Damn, Quagmire, your fridge
gives you water from the door?
291
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:42,420
Hey, champ, what you doin'?
292
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,955
My Spanish homework.
293
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,069
Oh, well, then maybe
I'll just say this
to you in Spanish.
294
00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:16,971
Chris,
what the hell are you doing?
295
00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:19,641
Calm down.
This is how they
package Snapple now.
296
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,487
They're trying to trick
kids into drinking it.
297
00:14:21,511 --> 00:14:23,422
You may not believe this,
but there was a time
298
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,079
when Snapple ruled the nation.
299
00:14:25,148 --> 00:14:26,364
Preposterous!
300
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,866
It's true.
Even Jerry Seinfeld drank it.
301
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,051
And he was
the president of the '90s.
302
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,871
But why are you so down?
303
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:36,307
Dad told me I have to lose
the championship
game on purpose.
304
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:37,659
He what?
305
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:40,027
Peter! Get in here right now!
306
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,329
Wow! Someone's day-horny.
307
00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:43,915
Oh, hey, Chris.
308
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,667
Did you tell
Chris he had to lose
the district championship?
309
00:14:46,735 --> 00:14:48,685
Let me just get a garbage bag.
Hold on.
310
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,225
Okay, now that I'm decent,
311
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,527
yes, I did tell
Chris to throw the game,
312
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,090
but it's okay,
it's for gambling.
313
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,115
What? You're betting
on Chris' baseball team?
314
00:15:01,184 --> 00:15:03,518
Technically,
against Chris' baseball team.
315
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:04,752
Are you crazy?
316
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,054
Do I look crazy?
317
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,766
What do you think
puts the food on our table
318
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,624
and the garbage
bags on our backs?
319
00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:11,373
Chris, your father's a jackass.
320
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:15,213
When you get on that field,
you try your very
best and play to win.
321
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,392
You understand me?
322
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,298
Yeah. Thanks, Mom.
323
00:15:18,368 --> 00:15:21,035
But, Lois,
if Chris wins that game,
I'll be out a ton of money,
324
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,803
and I'll have to kiss a fella.
325
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,222
I take all kinds of bets.
326
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,395
Well, the trick is
you tuck your shirt
into your underpants
327
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:34,448
and then your shirt stays flat
the whole performance.
328
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,218
So, I can get
the sauce on the side?
329
00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:38,753
Hey, Frank, we have to talk.
330
00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:41,155
You've got to stop giving away
all the food for free.
331
00:15:41,224 --> 00:15:43,352
Yeah,
otherwise, there's no way
we're gonna make a profit.
332
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,187
Oh, we don't have
to worry about money.
333
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:48,112
I might be doing a duets thing
with that Lady Goo-Ga.
334
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,831
Uh-huh. That's wrong.
335
00:15:49,899 --> 00:15:52,194
Anyway, the restaurant's
gonna go under
if you keep giving away food.
336
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,884
All right, all right.
337
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:54,954
Thank you, Frank.
338
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,901
I appreciate you
trying it my way.
339
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,790
Thank you.
340
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:00,641
What was that?
341
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,061
Oh, I get 40 bucks every time
somebody says, "My Way."
342
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,596
Nancy gets $60.
343
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,847
What do you mean
Chris won't take a dive?
344
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,537
We already took a ton of bets.
345
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,991
Look, I'm sorry, you guys,
but my hot-piece-of-ass
wife says no way.
346
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,627
That's a weird time to brag
about your wife, Peter.
347
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:21,457
I don't know. I've
just been so horny today.
348
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,141
Oh, man.
I don't need to know that.
349
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,911
Well, pull it together, Peter,
'cause we're about to
lose a lot of money!
350
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:27,635
I know.
351
00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:31,122
We're screwed once
Chris takes the mound
with that awesome arm of his.
352
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,890
Wait,
so what you're saying is...
353
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,393
Chris isn't the problem,
his arm is.
354
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:36,462
Yeah, I guess.
355
00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:40,081
Okay, we hear you, Peter.
356
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:42,349
Loud and clear.
357
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,735
Yeah, we'll fix this problem.
358
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,687
Wait,
you guys are creeping me out.
359
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,996
All right, I'm gonna exit
while discreetly checking out
360
00:16:49,024 --> 00:16:50,407
the hot chick by the door.
361
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,856
You guys heard
what I heard, right?
362
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,185
Peter just asked us
to break Chris' arm.
363
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,636
Well, he intimated.
364
00:17:02,705 --> 00:17:04,037
I don't know what that means,
365
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,268
but let's go
rough up a teenager
for beer money!
366
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,908
Oh, I call biting.
367
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:17,112
Okay,
there's the baseball team's
locker room right there.
368
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,285
Perfect.
369
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,848
And we look like
regular high school students,
370
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,205
so we'll fit right in.
371
00:17:23,659 --> 00:17:25,626
Joe, are you sure
about these clothes?
372
00:17:25,695 --> 00:17:27,161
Trust me.
373
00:17:27,229 --> 00:17:29,141
I bought
the absolute latest issue
of Archie Comics,
374
00:17:29,165 --> 00:17:31,285
and this is what
the kids are wearing.
375
00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:34,401
Oh, hey, fellow teens.
376
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,416
Wait a minute.
Teenagers don't
have wheelchairs!
377
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,773
Ow! Ow!
378
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,549
Okay, guys, we've
served our last free meal.
379
00:17:48,618 --> 00:17:50,033
Here I go with the check.
380
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,271
Oh, I'm sorry.
381
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,557
Last time we ate here,
Mr. Sinatra's son
said it was free.
382
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:58,459
Okay, uh, everyone.
New policy.
383
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:00,460
As is the case
with many restaurants,
384
00:18:00,529 --> 00:18:02,780
you're going to have
to pay for your food.
385
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,249
What? This food
ain't worth paying for.
386
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,085
Yeah,
the only reason we eat here
is 'cause it's free.
387
00:18:09,538 --> 00:18:12,073
Look whose restaurant
thinks it's so good.
388
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,926
Oh, yeah?
If it was Joey's restaurant,
you would have paid.
389
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,146
Ma! I'm sorry, Ma!
390
00:18:19,716 --> 00:18:20,836
Ma!
391
00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:23,517
I can't believe it.
392
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:24,746
They hated us.
393
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,720
Well, fellas,
we gave it our best shot.
394
00:18:26,789 --> 00:18:28,923
If you need me,
I'll be back in Palm Springs,
395
00:18:28,991 --> 00:18:32,459
which has been
completely taken
over by the gays.
396
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,880
So, want to grab
whatever wine is left
and then burn the place down?
397
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,431
Maybe.
398
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,395
But first,
let's have an unearned
end-of-the-series moment,
399
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,685
where we turn out the lights
on our own place.
400
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,540
Sorry, pal. We're closed.
401
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:13,334
Peter, we've got great news.
402
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,652
Chris isn't playing!
403
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,053
He's not? Why?
404
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,171
Because we broke his arm
like you told us to.
405
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,802
Shattered.
We shattered his arm.
406
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,859
You what?
I never told you do that!
407
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,044
You didn't? That's
what I thought I heard.
408
00:19:24,113 --> 00:19:26,096
Quagmire, this is humbling.
409
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,483
But it may be
time for all of us
to talk about hearing aids.
410
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,801
I feel terrible!
411
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,269
I gotta go find my son!
412
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,186
Chris!
Dad!
413
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,760
My arm's broke,
and look, a Camaro!
414
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,429
Aw, that guy must be so boss.
415
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:44,326
But listen, Chris,
I had no idea this
was gonna happen.
416
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,734
Look, I was wrong
to bet on your games.
417
00:19:46,803 --> 00:19:48,931
And it's even worse
that I told you to lose.
418
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,048
I'm so sorry.
419
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:51,538
Oh, that's okay, Dad.
420
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,858
I just feel bad
that my arm is broken
421
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:56,227
in so many places
and hurts so much.
422
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,096
Oh, Chris. I've been
a terrible dad lately.
423
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,942
You found something
you were great at,
424
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,677
and instead of
being happy for you,
425
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,885
I tried to use it to make money.
426
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:08,305
And now your arm is broken,
and your
baseball career is over.
427
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,773
Not necessarily.
428
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,220
What?
What are you talking about?
429
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,476
Well, for the last few weeks
430
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,728
since my right arm's
been exhausted from pitching,
431
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:19,917
my left arm's had to, uh,
pick up the slack
in the bathroom.
432
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,883
You see the pitcher?
That's my kid.
433
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,006
Ah! Son of a bitch!
434
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,859
Oh, my God!
Sorry, Mr. Quagmire.
435
00:20:44,927 --> 00:20:46,477
I heard that bone break.
436
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:47,945
My ears are fine.
437
00:20:52,635 --> 00:20:54,618
Well, Chris,
we are very proud of you
438
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,804
for making it to
the district championship.
439
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:57,983
Thanks, Mom.
440
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,840
Ah, he was really something,
Lois.
441
00:20:59,909 --> 00:21:02,376
The next pitch Chris threw
hit his coach in the head,
442
00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:04,440
so there was no one
to take him out of the game.
443
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,698
Chris walked
the next 46 batters.
State record.
444
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,217
Wow, Chris! State record.
445
00:21:10,286 --> 00:21:11,718
Yeah, they got crushed.
446
00:21:11,787 --> 00:21:14,871
But at least I
didn't have to pay out
all those bets and kiss a guy.
447
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,774
But I saw you kissing
the driver of that Camaro.
448
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,894
That... That...
That was something else.
449
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:22,663
Baseball.
34753
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
