All language subtitles for The.Crusades.2023.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

I'm gonna take
charge of this music.

-Whoo!
-We play that hard shit.

Give it to me, baby.

Come on, Lee, this
isn't a fashion show.

Come over here and help me
tune up this killing machine.

Oh!

I'm sizzy.

Stop saying that.

Hm, you know I won't.

Jackie Boy, it's your time to
shine, let's do it!

Fellas, I appreciate
y'all coming out

to my pre-victory party,

but if all this workout
talk doesn't end right here,

I'll have to ask
you guys to leave.

Yah!

Shit, Jess.

Oh, shit!

Come on, fight night, whoo!

Ah!

What's up, babe?

You know, I had low
expectations for you all,

but this, this is a new low.

I mean, fighting
a handicapped kid?

Tyler is just another
asshole from a rival school,

who just so happens to be deaf.

So that makes it better?

No more chitty chat, Jessica,
just drive the damn car.

Can't be
late to fight night!

It's show time, baby.

All right, Jess.

Let's go!

Whoo!

Hey, hey, make room, all right?

Make some room, make some room.

Hoo!

-Yeah!
-All right, baby.

Hoo!

All right.

-Who's the bull?
-I'm the bull!

-Who's the bull?
-I'm the bull!

-Who's the bull?
-I'm the bull!

Let's go, Jack, kick his ass!

Yo, Ryan's here, Ryan's here.

Goddamn, Ryan look
bad as hell.

Yeah, now, all right, focus,
focus up, go Jackie Boy.

Let's hit it!

Hit it!

All right, now, two big boys.

Ah, you bring thunder
and lightning,

this can be a good one,
ah, let's have a fight.

Come on, git!

You want it? you want it?

Oh man, Goddamn, that
boy in prison shape.

Is Jack the
handicapped one here?

Get up, Jack!

Hey, you're making us look bad!

Man, get up!

Get up, get up now!

One, two!

Oooohh!

The cops are here!

Everyone, go!

Move along, people!

Jackie Boy!

-Wake up!
-Wake your ass up, man!

Get up, get up!

Move it, folks!

Let's go!

Stop right there, y'all!

Sean, stop!

What are we gonna do with him?

What are we gonna
fucking do with him?

-Put him in the fucking bush.
-The bush,

-just leave him there?
-He's drunk as fuck, come on!

Get on.

-Go, go, go, go!
-Are you on, are you on?

-I'm on, go!
-All right, I'm going,

I'm going, I'm going!

Uh!

No, no, oh, my God!

-Oh, shit!
-No!

Someone just
got run over by a bike.

Send an ambulance.

Did you just run over Ryan?

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

Happy Friday, boys.

This is a friendly reminder
that today is the last day

to buy tickets for
the social tomorrow

with Our Sisters at
Sacred Divinity. Go Owls.

So,

what's up?

You're not gonna believe
this, Dean Whitman,

but these scratches,

they're actually from
my family's new cat.

Come on, tell me,
give me another lie.

I was home studying last night.

If you were home all night,
then you must have spent it

getting your ass
beat by that cat.

I know you haven't been home,

I know you haven't been to bed,

plus you look and smell like
you've been trapped in the zoo.

Just call up the school board

and tell them you're
expelling a student

for not being as well dressed
and fancy groomed as you are.

I know you think
you're smart, Nozak,

I mean, your grades
say otherwise,

but you are smart
enough to know,

that I don't have any
evidence on you. But I will,

as soon as one of your
little friends snitch on you.

But if you do manage to slither
your way out of that one,

well, man, you still gotta face

the school board come Monday.

You're grasping at straws here.

-Am I?
-I've faced the board before,

you and I both know that
rumors of a schoolyard brawl

aren't solid grounds
for expulsion.

You don't get it
yet, but you will.

I want you to pay attention

to the morning
announcements today,

'cause the fact is the school
board is meeting on Monday

and changes are coming

and those changes are contingent
upon your enrollment here.

What does that even mean?

It means that I need you
to get out of my office,

'cause I got a lot of
work to do this morning.

You stink badly.

I think you owe it to
me to at least explain

what's coming my way.

I don't owe you a
damn thing, son,

I just really want you
to understand that.

The fact is you have got
to survive until Monday.

Now I have already told
you to get out of my office

and you're still sitting there.

Get up and get out
of my office, son.

Get up!

Go watch the announcements
and fix your shirt!

Did you hear about
what happened to Ryan?

Heard she got run over by a
bike, that's some scary shit.

I mean, she might
never cheer again,

but Little Miss
Perfect will be okay.

They don't have any leads.

Good, cool, cool, cool.

How about we have a date
night, just you and me?

Let me guess, your
idea of a date night

is for me to pick
you up and then go

to the Goddamn
Cheesecake Factory

and then fondle each other
in my basement after?

Get out of my car.

By the way, thank you so much

for inviting me to
the social tomorrow.

Just assumed you'd run into
me there? How romantic.

Hope you and your
precious friends have fun

jerking each other off.

Murph, is that your mom?

I wouldn't mind a spanking
from her.

Fuck off, Riggs.

-Leonardo.
-Yeah, yeah.

I haven't lost you
already, have I?

-No.
-The whole point

of before school tutoring
was so that I could harness

all your energy
before the day starts.

Yeah, no, you, I'm
following right along

and this music is so beautiful,
I got lost in the words

and the lyrics really hit deep.

-Hm.
-So deep.

Leonardo, this is an
orchestra, there are no lyrics.

Of course, I just, what
I meant like, it's,

music's really inspiring me
for our poetry assignment.

-Right.
-Right now.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

I'm glad to hear it, but don't
get too ahead of yourself.

You still have to
translate this poem

before you can catch up
with the rest of the class.

Right.

We're almost done,
we're on the last verse.

Now pronounce this
and translate it.

Key is you gotta say it
fast,.

Almost.

Yes, yes, much better.

"Love knows no age."

Can you repeat that?

No, I'm sorry, could you do

like the translation
one more time?

Oh, "Love knows no age."

Wow!

"Love knows no age."

Man, that one, like
that one hit, you know,

that one's, that one's deep.

It's beautiful, huh?

Yeah, it's a tragic tale,
but a beautiful message.

It's my favorite poem.

Is it? Wow.

Mine too.

Man, that's art really,
I can feel it right here.

Well, good job today.

I think our sessions
are really helping.

They are, no, I can really
feel like my Italian ancestors

just flowing,
flowing through me

and like a lot of blood
up in my brain right now.

Okay, all right,

well, I will see you back
in class this afternoon

and I look forward
to hearing your poem.

You should, I've
been working on it.

That's goodnight.

Okay then,

goodnight.

Oh, shit, my shadow.

Hey, hey!

Hey, are you my shadow?

Yeah.

-I'm Evan.
-Sorry I'm late, man,

my name's Leo, well,
we gotta giddy up,

'cause I can't be tardy again.

-Okay.
-All right,

so welcome to Our
Lady of the Crusades.

Today's going to be fun.

Here are a few things to
make your day go smoothly,

rule number one, you are
now in a prison environment,

all right, OLC is
basically a contained riot,

like it's all about
psychological warfare here, OK?

Rule number two,
nothing's off limits.

So like your mother, your
sister, your sexuality,

your religion, your race,

all that will be
ridiculed before lunch.

And rule number three,
the nerd and the jock

are on even playing fields
here, so like coolness

comes down to how disruptive
you can be in class

and how much you
can bench press.

A lot of animosity around here.

No one wants to sit at a table

with a kid who gets
his feelings hurt.

-Hey, Leo.
-Yeah.

Why is it so hot in here?

Ah, yeah, so the new wing,

which was built
like 20 years ago,

has all the good AC, this is
the old wing, not so much,

but honestly I'm
perfectly fine right now.

So you're new in town, huh?

No, I'm from the city.

Where are you
transferring from then?

St. Matthew's.

Okay.

Close call, Grecco.

Oh, you know I like to show up

fashionably on
time, Mr. Marshall.

Yeah, I
don't care, sit down.

O'Brien.

-Here.
-Murphy.

Murphy?

Here.

What is that, Grecco

and why did it almost make
the eye contact with me?

Oh, this is Evan,
he's my shadow today.

Yeah, well, I've never met
a shadow that talks, so.

He didn't say anything.

Nozak.

Ah, present!

-Peterson.
-Here.

Dude, not trying to
be offensive,

but you look like shit.

-Richards.
-Here.

I don't know if you heard, but
I had a pretty rough night.

-Salerno.
-Here.

Did Jess hear anything
about the bike incident?

Bro, Ryan's clueless,
you're good.

-You sure?
-Yes.

-Nice.
-All right, ladies,

Dean Whitman has a
special announcement

before class starts.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Now as you all know,

I've got little birdies
chirping everywhere

and I'm hearing
a lot of chatter

about the financial
stability of our school.

So let me just address this
right now, short and sweet.

On Monday we will be
meeting with our brothers

at St. Matthew's
to discuss and vote

on the possibility of a
merger between both schools.

Both of our financial
situations are dire

and this is the best possible
outcome for everyone.

Last and final warning,

stop rubbing PB and J
sandwiches on the toilet seats,

some people have
peanut allergies

and you are playing
with people's lives.

Now all final details of the
merger will be made public,

once we have met and
they are decided on.

Until then, I don't
wanna hear a word

from any of you about it.

Now it's a great day
to be a Owl, gentlemen,

as always, make it a good one.

Looks like you're coming
here regardless, man.

Spooky stuff, allergies,
mergers, gossip, ooh!

I don't care, I get
paid either way,

but it looks like prom dates
are gonna be a lot harder

for some of you to come by.

I'm screwed.

What's up, Nozak? Think
you're pretty tough, huh?

'Cause I'm as
tough as they come.

Keep pushing my buttons

and I'm gonna show you
just how tough I come.

Now, where did we
leave off last week?

Come on, who knows?

Well, that's the widow maker.

What was that, big boy?

Whitman was saying some weird,
ominous shit this morning,

reading between the lines,
the school board voting

for a merger on Monday
means I'm expelled.

Bro, you can't possibly believe,

that the merger of
two entire schools

is contingent on one
student, okay, relax.

He literally used that word.

Contingent?

What if one of those
St. Matt's kids

tries to get between
me and Ms. Kerpial?

-Medieval times.
-I can't let that happen.

You're a sociopath.

Our whole lives
could be changing

and the one thing
you're worried about

is a student hypothetically
getting molested by a teacher.

I mean, I wouldn't
press charges though,

guilty is charged.

You're in the front row.

You think I'm deaf?

Huh?

Shut the fuck up.

Okay.

All right!

Listen up, chooches,
pull it in.

Pull it in.

Despite the school
board's best efforts,

I'm still teaching
weight training

and I'm gonna do it my
fucking way, you hear that?

Yeah.

No more popcorn muscles
here, all right,

we're gonna start with
the chest and the biceps

and I'm gonna turn you
little boys into men,

and men into full-fledged
monsters, look at him!

Look at that fucking guy!

Gene, Riggs, grab two donuts
each, slap them on the bar.

Let's go. Tony, I
need a spot, right?

A strong, full fledged,
use both hands, okay?

All right, full support,
Tony, full fucking support.

-Move, move your fucking ass.
-Okay.

Running around like a
fucking puss, come on!

I'm not fucking around
here, no giggling either.

Let's go.

One!

Two!

Three!

Four, push it out!

Five, you big motherfucker, six!

Seven, you fucking zombie, yeah!

Argh, yeah!

Yeah, let's go,
come on, move, yes!

Tony, you're up.

If you need a spot,
let me know, all right?

Gene, fucking guy
spit in my eye.

What kind of weight you
repping on the bench?

Actually, Coach, I'm more
interested in pliability

and elasticity than
traditional weight training.

I have a naturally fluid
skeletal structure.

Jesus Christ, Gene, I just
got my period hearing that.

Grab a plate and run around
the gym until your back hurts!

Till your fucking back hurts!

Nozak, you got more
curves than my ex-wife,

I'm putting you on the
Atkins, no more carbs for you.

I love my carbs, Coach.

Yogurt, baby, get used to it.

Get outta here.

Riggs, don't disappoint
me, what are your numbers?

Coach, I don't
know about weight,

but I can lift both
my girlfriends.

Yeah, Riggs, I seen
both your girlfriends

and I don't see you
lifting 500 pounds.

Boom!

Yeah, boom!

Listen, I'm worried about
you boys, I really am,

you don't have the
balls or the brains

to defend yourself
against future classmates.

Let me tell you something,

when your mommys
tuck you in at night,

you better hope and pray
that there is no merger,

those city boys
are tough.

They're bigger,
stronger, faster.

In other words, you will be
somebody's bitch by lunchtime,

so bend over, get used to
it and on the other hand,

he got your precious
Sisters at Sacred Divinity,

fresh meat at all the games
and dances for the girls.

I give it one week and your
girlfriends will be banging

those boys from St.
Matt's by the weekend.

By the fucking weekend!

Now how does that
make you feel, huh?

Hey, Coach, what if there's
no one at that school,

that can kick your ass
and you don't give a shit

who your girlfriend
sleeps with?

I guess you're right, Pizzo,

you only have to worry if
you're fat, dumb or ugly

or at least two outta three.

What are you laughing
at, Einstein?

Did you look in the mirror?

All right,
class dismissed.

Get the fuck outta here!

Hey, I said medium,
this is well done.

If you have cash,
you can pay here!

75 cents.

Ms. McDonald, I actually
gave all my spare change

to a homeless man on
the bus this morning.

Could I sign an
IOU or something?

Oh, Jack, you have always
been such a sweet boy.

Go ahead, I'll
let this one pass.

Bless you, Ms. McDonald.

No,
bless you, child.

Aw, sweet baby.

75 cents.

Sean, Riggs,
Gene, this is Jack.

What's up, Jackie Boy?

What's up, pussies?

Had to help pay rent this week?

No, actually went the
homeless man today.

Yeah, we gotta enjoy the
freebies while they last.

We all know the St. Matt's kids
gonna come in and steal shit.

Yeah and speaking of,

that guy, Vince and a
car meatheads did basically

a drive-by stare down on me
this morning in tutoring.

What, the Wrecking Crew?

Yeah.

This would be our last
social with just OLC guys.

You know how hard it is to
talk to girls to begin with,

and now double
the competition?

Not to mention I'm
pretty sure Sean and I

have warrants out
for our arrest.

Hey, hey, hey, you were driving.

-So?
-Leave me out of this.

Oh, I'm sizzy, it was dark
out plus you weighted it down,

you probably broke her spine.

This could be our
last weekend as Owls.

Let's go all out this weekend.

Yeah, screw it!

So Lee, you gonna have sex
at the social tomorrow,

you know what I mean?

If you'd like, I can
offer you a tip or two

on how to get the ball rolling

if you just so happen to
find a nice, young lady.

Right, well, I can't do
that, I gotta play it cool,

'cause Ms. Kerpial
is chaperoning.

Don't wanna risk her
seeing anything, you know?

Yeah, that explains why you
never kissed a girl before.

I hooked up on a
motorcycle once,

talk about road
rage, boom!

In my research,
documentaries showed that men

who have the sex most are
usually blue collar in status.

You should tell her
you're a plumber,

pizza man or a gym teacher.

Or, even better, tell her
you're a casting director

and you need to
evaluate her skillset.

Gene, is your research
straight up watching porn?

Oh, funny, well,
I gotta go study.

See you in Italian, Leo.

All right,
that's lunch. Clean up, boys.

-What's up?
-Yo,

could you pass
this along to Gene?

-I forgot to give it to him.
-What is it?

Just some poetry assignment
he needed help with.

And he asked you?

I mean, I'm just saying like,
I didn't know you were a poet.

Yeah, you learn.

Evan, we're gonna
hit Italian up.

Hey, stallion, do you
have something for me?

Leonardo, are
you following along?

Yeah, yeah.

Good, then you'll have
no problem reading.

Start at the top.

Right, which we are on,

here we go.

Okay, ah,.

Actually, Leo, I think
that's an English word

you're trying to read, it's
pronounced introduction.

Right.

Maybe you'll have better luck

reading that note
aloud to the class.

Ooh!

All right, well, that note
was just a little something

I needed to give to Gene,
you know, it's no big deal.

I'm sure the class
would love to hear it.

Right, okay, um...

Let's see what we got here.

"My name is Lee."

You know what, there's just
a bunch of gibberish on here.

-I'll give it a try.
-No, you won't give it a try.

Um, can I just throw it away?

Front of the class please.

"My name is Lee Lee

and when I have to wee wee,

I take out my little pee pee

and the stink makes
everyone flee flee."

Leonardo, you wrote that?

No.

Si, bella.

That's enough, Eugene.

Sit.

Honestly, Leo, I'm
pretty surprised by this.

-No, okay--
-I always thought

you were one of my
more mature students.

I am one of your more mature
students, Ms. Kerpial,

you know that, okay...

I've been compared to a
full grown stallion before.

You know I would never do
something like that, okay?

And you know that I look out
for all the women horses here,

'cause I, um, provide
for the herd or,

no, what I'm trying to say
is that like I'm mature and--

I think you're misinformed
on how horses live.

But no, okay, what
I'm trying to say

is like I'm the
Ferrari logo, okay,

I'm a fast, Italian,
mature man that doesn't--

That's quite enough.

Maybe a JUG will teach you

not to make a joke
of our class time.

All right, class, who
would like to read?

So you pumped for the social?

Yeah, whatever, Riggs.

What are you doing?
That's not your locker.

Yeah, I'm not sure if
I'm going tomorrow,

got the GF coming over.

I've been charging the
Xbox controller all day.

What, she's a gamer?

Oh, she's game all right,
vibration mode, you know.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"

Oh!

-Sup, Riggs!
-Friday!

Let's go baby.

You got
JUGged!

She's gonna make an honest
man outta me someday, man.

Hey, Leo.

-Yeah.
-I just wanna thank you

for everything today,
I really appreciate it.

Yeah, man, I'll see
you around, okay.

Yeah, you will.

What the hell, yo, did
you do this? What's up?

Uh!

Sack-tap
Friday, bitch!

What's up, man?

Pizzo, you know if this the
the line for the, uh...

contraceptives?

Huh?

Jimmys, bro.

Murphy, are you trying to ask me

if this is where
you get dong bags?

Yeah.

Yeah, man, this is the line.

But next time just say dong
bags, we're all men here.

What's up, boys?

You getting some dong
bags for the weekend?

Yeah, a last resort, I keep
getting acne down there.

Pizzo, bro, I'm pretty
sure that's just herpes.

No, no, you only get that
on your mouth, idiot.

Besides, they say like
only one in three have it.

Yeah, you idiot.

Now if you'll excuse me, I
have some dong bags to buy.

Whoa, Murphy, what
can I do for you?

I'd like to purchase
one dong bag please.

Sean, my man, a dong bag?

The only thing I sell
here are pecker sleeves.

Yeah, you virgin.

Well, I guess I'll
take one of those.

Sure thing, Murphy, 20 bucks.

20 bucks?

Yeah, boys, ever since all
this talk of the merger,

people have been
buying out of panic,

which means I can barely keep
up stock. Supply and demand.

Don't worry,
they're reversible,

so it's a great
bang for your buck.

My man.

-Ssh!
-Let's go, gang,

let's go, let's go.

Should we feel bad about this?

No, man, it's just a bag.

We're not setting the
dude's house on fire.

Besides, this is
nothing compared

to what the St.
Matt's kids do to him.

I don't even know why
I agreed to do this,

like come on, man, like
we're older than this.

You're the one who
traded garbage duty

at JUG tomorrow with Jack,
you know he loves good prank.

What the hell are you doing?

Come on, let's light the
bag, I'll ring the bell

and then we all run like hell.

Chill out, after last week,

we're taking no chances with
this lunatic, Mr. Podkowa.

You serious?

It's Jess.

Let it go to voicemail then.

Don't do it, don't you--

Hey, hey, babe.

I'm doing a little team-building
activity with the guys,

mind if I give you a call back?

Look, I know how important

your extracurricular
activities are,

but this is a matter
regarding your safety

-and I'll be quick.
-Sure, babe,

you know I've always
got time for you.

-What's the word?
-It's about this merger,

you know my dad's
on the school board

and this is feeling
like a bigger deal,

than I think you realize,

it's less of a merger and
more of a hostile takeover.

-Ah-huh.
-Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, where'd you get the shit?

Dude, that's not important.

We have a job to
do, Pizzo, come on.

Okay.

Uh!

Pizzo! Jesus Christ, old
man, it's just a prank!

What the hell? Oh,
fuck!

Yeah, I guess you didn't know
I was retired PD, huh, huh?

He's just killed Pizzo.

These crowd control bags are
great for making my point,

instead of killing every
punk who crosses me.

Beanbag, it's just a beanbag,

we're good, we're
good, we're good.

You'll basically
be in the ghetto

and that's just not safe.

Now, you got a choice, boy,

you either eat everything
that's in that bag

or you take one of these
bags straight to the belly

and one to the balls
for good measure.

We gotta do something.

And take a beanbag?
No, I'm fine.

This weekend should
be all about us.

No more friends dragging
you through unwanted drama.

So what's it
gonna be, boy, hm?

It's getting late
and you know what?

It's chow time.

Hang up the phone,
hang up the phone,

-hang up the phone now.
-Hey.

What the hell, are
you even listening?

Ah-huh.

Scatter, every man for himself!

Uh!

Hoo hoo! Should've pulled
the trigger, Podkowa!

Let's get outta here!

You should've pulled
the trigger, old man!

Holy shit!

Come back,
I'll get you!

That's right, run, you run!

Uh!

This guy's shit faced,
get off!

Shit.

Uh!

Boom!

Whoo hoo!

Too much mold.

Hey.

This is JUG, tuck
that shirt in, boy.

It's a Saturday.

Bet you'd like a
bite of this, huh?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Really would.
-No, but not for you.

Yogurt.

Hey, Tony, wrap
up on that tackle!

Pretend it's your stepsister,
know what I mean?

What's going on, Murph?

What up, Coach?

Listen, I know you're our
second string receiver,

but I need you to catch
the ball once in a while.

What's going on with you?

I'm fine, I don't
really wanna talk about.

Come on, open up,
Murph, what do you got?

School, family, lady problems?

You could talk to
me, I had a kid once.

No, my grades, they fine,
family straight.

My girl and I...

Murphy, listen to me, women,
kids, they come and go,

stick with your friends.

I mean, in your
case, make new ones.

Listen, I'm sure if
you bang her good,

everything will work out.

Broads love that, you know
what I mean?

I'm just kidding, listen,
but do the right thing.

Hey, Grecco, that
water's for the athletes!

Drama kids next to
the girls' bathroom.

Right, my bad, Coach, I
was just filling it up.

Hey, come here for a second.

No, I'm geeing back to
JUG right now, I promise.

Just
a second, come here.

You and Murphy,
you're buds, right?

Yeah.

Do me a favor,

help him sort out his
problems with the old lady,

he's too distracted
on the field.

I mean, I've told him
a couple of times,

but you know, high school
relationships, young love

and that's how it goes.

I stay away from that
just for that reason.

-Oh yeah?
-Yeah.

What are you working with?

Huh?

What, what's that?

What I'm working--

-You know, chicks.
-Oh, like what?

Yeah,
what you working?

-Ah, cougars, ah, like-
-Ooh!

Like early, late, late
twenties, late twenties.

Cougars? Not bad, maybe I
was all wrong about you, kid.

Remember what I'm gonna tell
you. Always date older chicks.

Thank you.

They're desperate, they'll do
anything, I mean anything

and they'll treat you like a
king, you know what I mean?

-Yeah.
-Get your helmet on,

fucking skin dive,
you know what I mean?

Skin dive, like...?

I'm talking about skin dive.

Right, no, all right, yeah.

Get it, because you got cougars?

-Yeah, thanks, Coach.
-That's my thing.

-Yeah.
-Huh?

-No, you're right.
-Check in with me.

Now get the fuck
outta here, all right?

-Okay.
-I got a reputation here.

End of practice, boys!

What's up, ladies?

Glad you lovebirds
could make it.

You guys remember
Caitlyn, right?

Hey.

Hi.

Yeah.

Girls do love a
fixer upper, right?

Such a shame that this
mansion's still on the market.

Man, the economy hurting
everybody in different ways.

Right.

You'd better not be looking
at any of these skanks.

Skanks, I don't
look at any skanks.

Goddamn, you look bad as hell.

You always know the right
thing to say to cheer me up.

It's just a test, you passed.

"I'm Jess?"

Yeah.

Made you one.

Oh, Bae, you shouldn't
have, this is so cool.

"If lost, return to Jess?"

Yeah, put it on.

Ah, you know, we gonna
be bumping and grinding.

You know, I'm a big
guy, I don't really--

On.

So I've been thinking.

I'm listening.

Well, I think
tonight is the night.

Yeah, babe,
tonight's our night.

No.

Tonight's...

the night.

Thanks, guys, seatbelt.

Holy shit! It's
worse than I thought.

It's not nearly as bad as
I thought it'd be, bro.

Pizzo told me she
had a broken spine.

You kidding me, dude, seriously?

The police report stated
that she got run over

in the wrong way and
now she's infertile.

It's my fault.

Yeah, what if she thinks it's
me, does she know it's me?

God, I can't go over there,

criminals always return
to the scene of the crime.

Dude, she literally thinks
that the sun is still

the backside of the moon,
just go talk to her, pussy.

No, I'm not gonna
go talk to her.

-Just go talk to her, pussy.
-No.

Oh, Jesus!

-Screw this, no, screw this.
-What?

Uh!

Good evening.

Right, good evening,.

Look, what happened in class
today, you have to believe me,

-I had nothing to-
-I do.

You do what?

Believe you.

Good, 'cause you know me,
I'm more mature than that,

you know, like all these guys
can be so immature at times

and it's honestly really
hard to stoop to their level

on a daily basis.

-Hm.
-Yeah.

So wait, ah, if you
knew I didn't write it,

why did you give me
such a hard time?

Look, I was doing you a favor.

You don't want everyone thinking
that you're a teacher's pet

because of how much
time we spend together

tutoring before school, so
the class needed to know

there are no favorites.

Hm, I guess that makes sense.

So Leonardo, why are
you here talking to me,

when there are all these
cute high school girls

waiting for a dance?

Look, this stallion has a
lot of built up horsepower,

okay and I don't think any of
these girls have what it takes

to ride the bull, you
know, or stallion,

you know what I'm saying?

Okay.

Um...

You know, I hate
seeing you stand here

and during a such
great song, um,

and I would totally ask you
to dance if you would want to.

Grecco.

Ah, this might be a crazy
concept for you to understand,

but the keyword in
social is socializing,

not begging Ms.
Kerpial for a D minus.

May I have the honor?

Signor Marshall, thank you
for relieving me of my shift.

Have a good weekend, boys.

You too, Ms. Kerpial.

Ah, listen, Grecco.

Oh, okay.

A little bit of advice.

Next time you see
Kerpial flirting with me,

best take a hike, yeah.

-What?
-Right, okay.

What, you don't,

you got your big dick
jeans on today, Grecco?

No, sir, just my 32 regulars.

This isn't your MO, Grecco,

sure you wanna play the
role of tough guy tonight?

All right, Mr. Marshall,
it is so painfully obvious,

that you and I are now
locked into a love triangle

and at this moment, I'm sorry,

but I'm gonna have
to take you down.

Love triangle? Are you
actually delusional enough

to think you have a chance
with a smoke show like her?

You're a child and
she's a grown ass woman.

And you think you
have a chance?

I could set up a kissing
booth right here, right now

and double your salary.

Wow, Grecco, I'm thrilled
to see that your balls

finally dropped.

So I'll tell you what, you
get a kiss on the cheek

from any girl here,
any one right now

and I'll stop talking
to Kerpial completely.

Oh, I'm sorry, wait,
that would require you

to actually talk to girls,

and from what I hear, that's
not your strong suit,

so I guess, uh,

oh, well.

Keep dreaming, kid.

Yee!

Fucking creep.

You get
a kiss on the cheek.

You're a child.
Any girl in here.

And she's a grown-ass woman.

Keep dreaming, kid,

that would require you to
actually talk to girls.

Leo!

Ryan.

I, ah, well, I-I totally
intended on saying hey

the other night at the park.

-Yes.
-Before things got so hectic.

I've just been so embarrassed,
I debated even coming, so.

Yeah, no, that's
terrible, I'm so sorry.

No, don't be sorry,
I know who did this.

You do?

Yeah, my ex-boyfriend Vince
definitely set this up.

It's probably someone
from the Wrecking Crew.

Yes, hm, yeah, he did and
you'd best believe that,

the first chance that
the L-Train gets,

he's gonna deep six him,
you know, pretty quick.

So Vince's ex, huh?

Yes, ah, we dated over
the summer unfortunately.

-Hm.
-Yep.

Yeah, that makes sense then.

It does?

No, oh, what I mean
like is like, you know,

he's the popular
kid at St. Matthew's

and you're the
cheerleader here

and you know, like
doing the math,

it's just like calculations,
that checks out, you know.

Yeah. You're, uh,
you're really funny.

Thanks.

Are you gonna ask
me to dance or--?

Right, yeah, uh...

Yeah.

You know, next slow
song, I'm, I'm all yours.

Uh, excuse me, I'll
be right back, okay.

Okay.

She doesn't know, it
wasn't your fault.

Fine, fine, come
on, man, come on.

Hoo!

Okay.

I don't know why I even
came to this thing.

Boys at this school are
completely oblivious in general,

but somehow, I chose the
most oblivious one of all.

Come on, man, just ask her
to dance, just be a man.

You're a stallion.

You're a stallion.

Uh!

Are you
sure this is him?

Yeah, that's him.

Evan, are you kidding?

"Oh, I'm sizzy."

Wrecking Crew for life, bitch.

What's up, man, are you
hitting on my girlfriend?

Vince, right?

No, no, no, okay, this is
a misunderstanding, this--

-Don't think that I don't know.
-No, no, no,

this is a big
misunderstanding, okay.

I didn't do anything, she
came up to me, all right?

My bad, it was an accident.

Oh, so you were involved, huh?

It's not just at this school,

every guy that
I've gone out with

can talk about
football for hours,

but is literally incapable
of talking about his feelings

-at any given moment.
-Okay, so what do I do?

I mean, if I make
the first move,

I intimidate him
and look stupid.

If I don't, I die of old age

waiting for him
to do something.

I'm not gonna lie, Grecco,
it was just a hunch,

but thanks for confirming.

Okay, wait, wait,
hang on, hang on!

-Nothing happened, okay.
-Are you

slamming my girl?

I'll answer that again, no,

I swear to you,
nothing happened!

-I didn't hit on her.
-Good.

Yes, I'm gonna keep it that way.

-Yeah!
-Relax, everybody.

Uh!

These guys, they either think
you're a prude or a slut,

so just make the first move.

Ryan, please don't listen
to Caitlyn's advice

on how to get the
fastest reputation

and how to never end up
with a serious boyfriend.

You'll end up a super
senior like her.

My advice, fuck Leo
and any other guy,

that doesn't have the
emotional intelligence

to even know what he wants.

Oh, because you and Sean are
so emotionally intelligent?

You're a bully to
him and everyone else you meet.

Do you think he
actually likes you

or is just too afraid
to say otherwise?

Watch your mouth.

Cute sweater, did
your nana make it?

Sorry to be nosy, girls,
but you all sound pathetic.

Hey, Leprecunts.

I'll deal with you juvenile
delinquents after the merger,

but until then, Grecco's my
problem and you're trespassing.

Right.

Uh!

To be
continued.

High school boys will
do whatever you want

except for their
Goddamn homework.

You've got the rest of your
lives to play by the rules,

just have your
fun while you can.

Fuck what they say.

Appreciate it, Mr. Marshall.

That was a close call, Grecco,

but ah, the deal was you
were supposed to swap spit

with a girl, not a dude.

Damn,

guess those rumors are true.

You in line?

Have you seen Sean or Leo?

Dude, what does it
look like I'm doing?

I'm waiting for Sean

and no, I haven't seen
your little buddy, Leo,

check the girls' room.

So, how's
school going for you?

Oh, you know, the
honor roll's great.

What about you, fight any more
defenseless, crippled kids?

Jesus, Jessica, you can't
say shit like that anymore

and if anything,
I was the cripple.

Sean didn't tell you about
the whole sixth sense thing?

Must have forgot.

So,

do you have any single
friends by chance?

I don't like to assume things,
but Jackie needs a mamasita.

Yeah, I got plenty.

Well, do you
happen to have any,

that you could possibly
set me up with?

Ooh, I don't know
if any of my friends

are into the fat guy
fetish, besides Caitlyn.

Why the fuck would
you even say that?

Wait, Caitlyn likes me?

Dude, you think she's
using you for your looks?

Baby, hi!

Leo just called,

said something about running
into the Wrecking Crew.

He was huffing and
puffing pretty loud,

so I didn't really hear
what he was saying.

He said he was gonna meet
us at the party though.

Such a drama queen!

Damn, Jack, I don't understand
why we had to park so far.

Party rule 101, baby,
never crowd the house,

can't draw any suspicion.

Besides, this actually
works out for us.

What the fuck?

It's me, it's me, me!

- Come on, man.
- Don't speak.

What the hell are
you doing in there?

Is the coast clear?

-Yeah, the coast is clear.
-Are you sure?

Yes, what are you doing?

Okay.

-Are you all right?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

What's going on with
your face, what happened?

What happened?

I told you what happened, I got
jumped by the Wrecking Crew.

Are you for real about that?

See, I never know when
you're joking around.

Why would I joke about that?

You okay?

Yeah, I mean, like yeah,

one donkey kick from the
stallion sent them running,

but I swear they're
gonna be back.

Always a spectacle
with this one.

Jess, come on.

I, I mean, Lee, why
would they attack you?

It's not adding up,
it don't make sense.

Well, it kind of
does make sense,

'cause you know the whole
entire bike situation with Ryan?

So turns out, she's Vince's ex

and somehow he found
out that it was us.

-I mean, Jess,
-You ran over Ryan?

No, ah, yes.

-Oh, my God, you're dead men.
-Jess.

I heard a rumor once that Vince
hospitalized a college guy

for just trying to talk to her.

Good luck with that, stallion.

Relax, yo, nothing's
going down tonight.

We outnumber those
cucks a hundred to one.

Well, that's what I thought
too, but remember my shadow?

-Yeah.
-Evan,

turns out he was an informant
for St. Matt's, okay,

so that means there might
be more of them in there.

Okay, what I need you guys
to do is I need you guys

to go in there and just
survey the premises

to make sure nothing's
fishy, okay, all right?

Yeah, okay, bye.

No, I need you to
do this for me.

-Yeah, yeah, man.
-Promise?

I just need you to take
a look around, all right.

-I got you, I got you.
-When the coast is clear?

Yes, I got you, I got you,
just chill in the bush

and wait for the
call, we got you.

Thank you, I'll gallop to
like the side entrance, okay,

the side entrance.

Yo, shit, come on,
boy, come on, boy.

Okay now, give me a
hand, let's go, let's go.

-Pizzo, hey!
-Hey, bro!

Yeah, let's go,
smoke a cig, baby.

Go, go, go, go!

You know, I'm an athlete.

-Two shots.
-Hm.

Let's go.

Okay, perfect, well, we shook
hands, kissed babies,

-Let's Irish goodbye.
-Come on, babe,

we just got here.

Plus I told Jack
we got next game.

Right, promised Jack
the next game, right.

I can't believe I actually
thought you'd go through

with this whole, "This
night's about us" bullshit.

I mean, come on, Sean,

this is exactly what
I was talking about.

God, you let your
friends drag you

through unnecessary
trouble and drama 24/7

and we keep drifting
further and further apart.

I don't know how much
more disappointment

I can take from you.

You're right.

Tonight was supposed to
be all about us, right?

Come on, let's
get up outta here.

You're not
actually going, are you?

Babe, you sure you
wanna do this tonight?

You sure, you sure
you're ready for this?

Shut up.

Hey, the coast is clear.

Psst, up here!

Are you sure?

Well, if they're not in there,
then they must be out here,

so I'd hurry up.

Good point.

It's a lot higher than
I thought, oh, God!

Let's go.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Did you have fun tonight?

Why, you leaving?

I'm not leaving here until
someone drags me home.

I'm talking about the social.

Yeah, duh, we always
have fun together.

-So, Caitlyn.
-Mm-hm?

-I got a question for you.
-Mm-hm.

How's it feel to be
dating the bad boy,

who's about to be
expelled from high school?

Ah, last time I checked,

I'm not dating anyone

and from what I hear, the
rumors of your expulsion

have been greatly exaggerated

and as the only super
senior, take it from me,

just keep fucking shit up.

Well, at least we can still
agree that I'm a wild child.

I guess it's good for my rep,

if people think
I'm dating a rebel.

Dating? Last I checked,
you weren't dating anyone.

Touché.

-Hey, whoa, fuck off, Grecco.
-Sorry.

You made it.

Ah, yeah, I did.

-Yeah.
-I made it.

Um, I'm here in the flesh alive.

It's you.

It's me.

Um, I saw a keg back
in the laundry room,

I think we should grab a drink.

In that room?

Yeah, laundry room, me, you now.

-No, it's-
-Okay.

I'm right behind you.

Three, four, five!

five whole seconds.

This is Giorgio Armani,
you can't dry clean this.

-It'll never come out.
-Oh.

Wait, Gene, leave
it open in here.

Okay.

What's up, Ryan?

Hey, Tony.

So I don't know if you saw,
but I DMed you a couple times.

Oh, nice.

Oh, yo, ah, me too actually.

That reminds me, I'm so sorry,

I didn't respond
back to your DM.

Wait, you've been DMing Grecco?

I, like once or twice,

but you know, he's a
hard pony to tame.

Stallion.

Damn, Grecco, just
don't fuck this up,

-'cause I've got dibs next.
-All good.

Yo, let's go steal some
of those lawn ornaments

from the neighbors
and put them out front.

Totally, man, I'll
work out with you soon,

maybe like, who knows?

Great guys.

Yeah, they seem nice.

Baby, are you sure this is okay?

Yeah, baby.

Maybe, um, maybe find
a spot more secluded,

tree cover or something?

I just seen an
old lady walk past

with a whole pack of dogs.

Did you see that? Somebody
gonna spot us, call the cops.

I can't go to juvie,
Mom gonna kill me.

God, Sean, will you shut up?

Look, we're down the
street from a house party

and you seriously think a parked
car's gonna be suspicious?

I just thought our first time

was gonna be a little
bit more romantic, hm?

Well, sweetheart, I'm
sorry I can't deflower you

at the Edison Park Motel
or would you prefer

we keep fooling around in my
basement avoiding my sisters?

Hello?

-Oh, shit, it's Tony.
-Damn!

Who's in there?
Murphy, Murphy, is that you?

Come on, open up.

I'm gonna kill him.

No, no, ssh, ssh!

-Quiet, quiet.
-I know somebody's in there.

-I wanna see.
-Quiet.

-Come on, let me in.
-What the hell are you doing?

Come on, man, let's
go back to the party,

I can't find any stray
cats to put in the house.

Aw, man, that
prank is classic.

Yeah, man.

All right, I'll see you.

Pizzo, wait up,
man, it's dark out here.

Well, did you come prepared?

All right, I know
this isn't ideal,

this is only gonna
make us closer.

I want us to do this together.

I love you, Sean.

I love you too.

-He's a dead man.
-House is down the street.

I can smell Grecco's
pussy from here.

He's at that party, I know it.

You're like a damn
bloodhound, Vince.

Uh!

Where the
hell are you going?

You put it on the child lock?

Yeah, 'cause I knew something
like this was gonna happen.

Come on, Jess.

Will you shut the fuck up,

you keep comparing us to animals

and it's the dumbest shit
that I've ever heard.

My buddy told me
that he was there.

Pick it up.

Put it in your fucking mouth.

Don't ever fucking touch
me again, you dumb redneck.

Let's go to jail tonight.

I gotta stop them,

I gotta go warn Lee, if I
don't, they're gonna kill him.

Are you seriously gonna leave me

in the middle of our first time?

You'd rather get your ass
beat than have sex with me?

Sorry, babe, rain check.

You know what, you three
deserve each other!

We're fucking done!

Aren't you pussies a
little far from the ghetto?

This doesn't concern you,
Tony, where's Grecco?

Yeah, he's in here,

but don't you bitches have
an elephant walk to get to?

Fuck you, Tony.

The Goddamn shirt again.

Yeah, well, your sister
already did, so go home

and tell Dad she'll be
late for dinner tonight.

Now get the fuck out of here.

I'll kill you for
that, I'm not afraid.

Whoa, that's enough.

What?

There you go.

Thank you.

So why haven't you
responded to my DMs?

Like just been overwhelmed
and there's just, you know,

it's like Santa's list, just
who's naughty, who's nice,

who's naughty, who's nice,
you know, kind of get lost.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

And what list do I fall on?

Ah, well, I mean, if
we're strictly talking

like personality wise,
nice, the nicest.

Nice?

Hm, nicest.

So what list would you land on?

Me, I would probably
fall on like bad,

like I, I think I would like--

-Bad?
-Naughty.

Naughty?

Probably.

-Whoa!
-Caitlyn.

-Oh, oh my-
-Let me help.

How long have you been in there?

-I'm in a skirt, let's go.
-Okay.

-Let's go.
-You're good.

Leo, hey!

Look at you go, nice, bro.

I owe you one, you saved
my ass back there, bro.

I am way too drunk for a
heart to heart, stallion.

I know, that's my bad, I just,

I don't know what I'm doing.

Ryan was this close,

milliseconds away
from kissing me, bro,

-this close.
-I'm not gonna lie,

that naughty nice line you
just pulled, pretty impressive.

You liked that one,
that was pretty good.

Just, bro, I can't do this,
okay, just can't do it.

Uh!

What was that for?

Get it together, Leo.

What are you talking about?

Tony and Pizzo will gladly
try to commit the robbery.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about,
what am I talking about?

Damn!

What was that for?

Your first kiss
is out of the way!

What the hell, bro?

The world's your
Goddamn oyster, go get them!

Calm seas never made
skilled sailors!

Are you okay?

Hey, we gotta get
the hell outta here.

Is that a balloon
in your pocket,

or are you just
excited to see us?

Shit.

I guess that's what my
headboard feels like.

There's no time to explain,

I honestly ran in here for a
reason, Wrecking Crew's here.

-Oh.
-Who is that?

You,

get your ass out here now.

Light, light.

One's not enough
for this guy, huh?

Well, he's going for
everything I got,

he's making me
look like a bitch!

What are we gonna do, Vince?

Tony's not gonna let us in, I
gotta get my dad's car back,

-I can't be out all night.
-Ssh!

If that fucking rat won't
come out of his hole,

then we're gonna smoke him out.

Chubbs, give me my phone.

The rest of you get in the
bushes around the house,

wait for my signal.

911 Emergency.

I'm at 1111 Osceola Street,

there's a party and I just
heard gunshots, hurry, please.

Stay
calm, sir, help is on--

No.

Yeah, I'm dead.

Leo, I'm so sorry I got
you involved in this.

-Vince is crazy.
-I found that out.

Will you guys shut the hell up?

We outnumber them 100
to one, right, Jack?

Come on, come on, bro.

Wake up, wake up.

Don't black
out right now, man.

They're en route.

Jack, what's that?

He's probably just having
a bad dream or something,

-he'll be fine.
-Three squad cars,

eight blocks out, Paddy
wagon not far behind.

ETA three minutes, maybe less.

Okay, what the hell was that?

That's his sixth
sense kicking in.

Somebody called the cops,
now we really gotta go.

Come on, man, get
your drunk ass up.

Hey, hey, hey, it's only a
couple blocks to my house.

We make it there and we're good.

In your boot?

-Yeah, yeah.
-You can make that?

Yeah, I'll try.

Get your bitch ass up.

We stay down here till the
chaos upstairs sorts itself out.

I'm sure we'll be
able to slip away.

You know kids go crazy
when they see 12 pull up.

They've arrived.

Sean, you sure that we're
gonna be safe down here?

Open the door, you idiots,

there's 100 of us here, we
need to get through the back!

Well shit!

Open the door!

Open up, Grecco, 5-0's inside
turning the place over,

so I know you're fucked!

What the hell do we do?

I don't know about y'all,
I'm going out fighting.

We're gonna need the bull.
Come on, buddy, come on!

Wake up man, wake up, Jack!

Grecco!

Go!

Go!

-Bitch!
-Wait, hold up!

-The bull is back, baby.
-Get that bitch!

Get over here, pussy!

Uh!

Let's go, come on, run!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Oh, Jesus, fuck!

Wait, wait, wait, take that off.

Gimme the boot! Fuck!

-Upstairs?
-Upstairs, it's the only way.

A drinking ticket,
way better than an a--

Okay, just fucking
go, just go!

Hey, open
the damn door!

-Shit!
-Pizzo!

Holy shit, dude!

This is the craziest
party I've ever been to!

Leo!

-Go, go, go!
-Go!

Don't fucking run
from me, bitch.

Move it, folks!

Uh!

Let's go, let's go.

Get over
there, get over there!

Just get over there!

Taser, taser, taser!

- Stop right there!
- I'm sober, I'm sober.

-Come on, come on, come on!
-We got a bogey on the roof.

Out of the way, out of the way!

Uh!

It wasn't me, I'm sorry!

Go, go, go!

Stop where
you are, freeze!

-I gotta think.
-Come on!

Go through the neighborhood.
Jump over this fence!

Come on, come on,
hurry up, hurry up!

Don't let
them get away!

Leo, help me, help me.

Come on.

They're coming!

Uh!

-It's a fucking 4-foot pool!
-I know.

Ah!

What the fuck!?

That's right, that's,
that's, uh...

Hey, guys, if we go
this way to Ryan's,

then I think that we're
gonna go in the stupidest--

-Guys!
-Jack!

Get you up, you're
okay, you're okay.

All right, 911,
let's go, hospital.

-No, no!
-Hospital.

Leo?

Abandon ship, abandon ship.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Let's go,

let's go, let's go!

Wait, Riggs.

Wow, I heard of
a surprise party,

but this is a whole
different level.

Nice work, Nozak.

What the hell's
going on here, Lukey?

Mr. Riggs, my savior, oh,
can you please help us?

I said don't run.

Wrecking Crew!

Riggs, go, go!

We'll fuck you up!

Kick him in the fucking face!

Come on, man, let's get
your drunk ass home.

Come on, guys, come
on, come on, come on.

My house is only a
couple of blocks away.

Bitch!

Hey, come on.

We gotta go!

-This is my house right here.
-Okay.

-We, we should go in now.
-Yeah.

Wait, Ryan.

Vince, he's probably
going to expect us here

and he's coming for
me, not you, all right,

so you should wait here
with Caitlyn, okay?

-Leo, I don't--
-No, it's, it will be fine.

Okay, just trust me on this.

Yeah, you're
slowing us down

with that busted
ass wheel you got.

Yeah, he's got a point.

Look, we'll just go
up to the school,

that's like right up
the block, all right,

we'll lay low there, I
promise, we'll be fine.

It'll be fine, all right,
just, just stay here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See you around.

What? We might die
tonight, all right?

That's my boy, that's
my fucking boy.

I love how the guy
with a girlfriend

got me least amount of
action tonight.

Jack, are you sure you don't
need to go to hospital?

Uh!

Uh, uh, uh!

You know something, Grecco?

You did this.

This is all on you.

Uh!

Get the fuck on your knees!

Take a look at your buddies.

I said look at them.

Fuck you, Vince!

Uh!

Shut up, you fat bitch!

Uh!

Yo, chill, man!

Uh!

Shut the fuck up.

You know, Vince.

One day you're
gonna be a gentleman

and you won't be so alone.

Uh!

I am a gentleman, Grecco.

I'm quite offended that
you don't think so.

This is about you
having a sick crush,

a fucking perverted fetish.

Vince, Vince,
Vince, Vince, Vince,

I didn't even know you
were dating Ryan, okay?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Ryan? That prude was just
the icing on the cake.

This is so much
bigger than her.

Uh!

Whoo!

We got a merger
on our hands, boys

and this is just a taste.

With all my heart, I promise,
starting from the day we merge

until the day we graduate, I,

Uh!

Will put you through
a whirlwind of hell,

every fucking day.

You hear that, Grecco?

I'm gonna find you when
you're all alone one night,

you remember that,
you fucking rat.

Evan, what did Grecco
call himself again?

Stallion.

Please, please, please.

Uh!

Come on, stallion.

Uh!

Every fucking day!

I'd lower that
fist of yours, boy.

My dad's PD.

You're screwed, old man.

Yeah?

So's every other guy
in this neighborhood,

join the club, son.

Let me guess, his
daddy's a fireman?

I'll give you three
seconds to walk away

or you're gonna be on the
ground next to stallion here,

you old son of a bitch.

One,

two.

Uh!

Uh!

I got eyes on the suspects.

Dead end alley, on
the south side.

Osceola Avenue.

10-4.

Wait, who is this?

You got a 30 second
head start, go.

Why?

'Cause you kids look pathetic.

I'd say we're even for
last night's prank, huh?

Besides, these punks have been
making it personal for years,

so you boys are in luck tonight,

'cause the enemy of my enemy

is my friend.

I'm getting expelled
come Monday, boys,

so letting me drink alone
just isn't an option.

It'll be all right, Jackie.

OLC couldn't
handle you anyways.

And besides, I need
you to introduce me

to the new girls at
your new school, man.

Since I'm a single man now.

Chin up, bud.

I'm sure you and Jess will be
back together in a week,

when this all blows over,

and the dust settles
from my funeral.

Keep in mind, this is
just your first expulsion.

When all this is said and done,

like I'm sure there's bound
to be a couple more of them.

Man, at least your fate's
sealed.

I have no clue what I'm
gonna do about Jess.

Well, to be completely
real with you, bro,

I think she's a bitch,
constantly negs you

and fat shames me
at every chance.

I think you should
never talk to her again.

I think she's kind
of turned you into a simp.

My first girlfriend,
my first kiss.

I feel like, like I should
wanna be with her, right?

I feel like I should wanna
lose my virginity to her.

Okay, Sean,

the first one should always
be 100% certain though, okay?

Sounds like you're not.

I doubt you're gonna
look back and say,

"I wish I hadn't
spent so much time

fucking around with
my best friends

and dedicated more time to
my high school girlfriend."

Hm, amen.

I don't know if it's
the alcohol talking

or the blood loss, but
you're making a lot of sense.

Guys, I know you think I'm nuts,

but I'm gonna tell Ms.
Kerpial how I feel.

I say tell Ms.
Kerpial everything

and best case scenario,

you and me enroll in
a new school together,

when you get tossed for trying
to bang a fucking teacher.

I mean, that wouldn't happen

till the third or fourth
date, but you know.

Be one 100 with me,

why not Ryan?

It's this teacher, man,
she's ruined me completely.

I put her on this pedestal

and it's just like,

I know it sounds stupid, I know,

'cause Ryan is clearly
a great girl, clearly,

but I just haven't seen

any of these high
school girls that way.

Now how is she Ms. Kerpial?

I just wish I could go back
and do things differently.

I don't even wanna go home.

I just know everything's
gonna be different

in the morning, you know?

Yeah, man.

I'm sorry I brought the
wrath of the Wrecking Crew

on us last night.

Thank you guys for being there.

What?

I didn't wanna face
those guys by myself.

Don't even bring that up.

You know we always
gonna have your back.

I love you, bro.

Love you guys.

Let's go.

Jesus Christ.

What the hell, Coach?

You been there the whole time?

I know I just spent the
last few years saying

you're all a bunch of
soft-serve pansies,

but I just sat here and
listened to the whole damn thing

and not once did you
discuss running away.

Don't get me wrong,
you're completely fucked,

but you're ready to deal
with your problems head on.

That takes balls and
character. Proud of you men.

But what the hell do I know?

My wife and kid just
changed the locks

and I fought off a raccoon
for a half a cheeseburger.

Scram, all right.

You're depressing
the shit outta me.

See you guys Monday?

See you Monday, bro.

See you Monday, man.

So do you have
anything to say for yourself?

Jesus, what the hell
happened to you?

What do you think happened?
I got jumped by like 50 guys.

And who told you that
was gonna happen, huh?

Do you know how
frustrating it is

to see the person
that you care about

throw themselves in harm's
way again and again?

But I didn't have a choice.

But you did, you
did have a choice

and it's me or them.

I have been feeling
a bit selfish,

but I feel like we both have.

We both know exactly
what we want,

but we don't want
the same thing.

I don't know if I
can keep doing this.

And I feel like we
shouldn't force each other

on certain things.

We're just in high school.

I'm sorry, how are we
both being selfish?

What have I done to be selfish?

Ask you to make time for me?

Worry about you, warn
you about a new school?

God, make sweaters
for us, love you?

I love you, Jess.

I'm the one who texted you
that we needed to talk!

I'm the one that was left
alone in the car, embarrassed!

I'm the one out of your league

and after everything that
I've been through for you,

you have the audacity
to break up with me.

Take that pathetic breakup

and shove it up your
own ass, you prude.

Sorry it had to end like this.

Have fun with that merger,

I'm sure the endless amount
of beatings you're gonna get

will only be a
fraction of what you--

Got it, mutual breakup.

I gotta say, you always
seem to surprise me, Nozak.

I mean, I knew this day
would eventually come,

I'll be honest, but even
I gave you enough credit

not to think it would
be three whole damn days

since I last saw you.

Do you know how many phone
calls I got about you

over the weekend alone?

I have got an entire group
of boys ready to roll on you.

It's pretty sad you're so
willing to listen to rumors.

Rumors?

I'm an innocent man, and I
look forward to my chance

to meet with the school board.

You're not meeting with
the school board, son.

No, Nozak, man, I gotta
give it to you, I really do.

I like it though, you're
fighting to the very end.

It's admirable, but it's
not gonna work this time.

You know how hard it is

to get someone expelled
from this school?

But you keep outdoing yourself.

You really do.

See, OLC isn't gonna do anything
to jeopardize this merger

and you, you are
a problem child.

You managed to get into not
only one, but two fights

with St. Matt's the
week before the merger!

I mean, even for you, that
is impressively stupid, oh!

But hey, what do I know?

We're talking about Mr. Nozak.

So, what else you got
for me, Nozak, huh?

'Cause it's over for you.

Dean Whitman, are
you in charge here?

I am, but I-I haven't
called anyone,

there's no need for
criminal charges yet.

A parent called us, sir,

I'm afraid we've got a pretty
serious situation here.

I need you to drop
everything, come with us.

Damn, Nozak,

what the hell did you do now?

This is in regard
to a teacher, sir,

I need you to take us to
their classroom immediately.

There's been some accusations.

Stay right here,
son, don't move.

Let's go, gentlemen.

Leonardo, it's Monday,

you know we don't
have tutoring.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Oh, my God, Leo,
what happened?

I'm fine, this is nothing.

That's definitely not
nothing. Do your parents know?

Do we need to go to someone?

No, actually, there is no one
else that I need to talk to

more than you right now.

Okay.

What's going on?

You know, you can tell me
anything, you can trust me.

Okay.

That being said then,
here goes nothing.

I just feel like an idiot, um,

this place can be
so hard sometimes

and guys can really get
in your head.

What I'm trying to say is um,

I can feel like this
thunderstorm inside of me

like whenever I see you.

Leonardo, what are
you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is
that I'm head over heels,

moonstruck for you.

Don't.

I just had to tell you.

I'll transfer to
Spanish and I, you know,

you can tell the school
board if you have to,

but um, I can't
keep torturing myself.

So um, I guess this
is goodbye, all right.

Leonardo.

Yeah.

You can't say
things like that out loud.

Emily Kerpial,
you're under arrest

for engaging in sexual
activity with a minor.

No, no, no, I, okay, I-I
came in here, she's innocent,

-I just walked in.
-Are you Vince Morelli?

No.

Well, this doesn't
concern you, son.

Please put your hands
behind your back, ma'am.

Vince, are you kidding me?

No, you gotta be kidding,
you're handcuffing a teacher?

-No, are you serious?
-Control your student.

You're gonna let this
happen in your school?

-Just get outta here.
-Let's go.

Wait, Ms. Kerpial.

Wait, Ms. Kerpial!

Holy shit, what's going on?

It turns out Kerpial's been
sleeping with Vince all year.

I guess he turned her in
to reduce his sentence.

Now he's being shipped
cross country to juvie?

-No, she wouldn't do that.
-Why would she do that?

Signora!

Signora!

Did I ever have a chance?

What the hell's going on?

Kerpial's been
hooking up with Vince.

He ratted her out.

So wait, wait, so you're saying

Leo actually had
a chance with her?

Poor kid.

Let's go, guys, let's go,
let's go, inside, inside.

Let's go, gentlemen, move, move.

Let's go, let's go,
inside, inside, inside.

I don't know what I'm gonna
tell the school board.

Huh? I don't know.

No, I understand,
yeah, all right.

Hey, don't touch me, Nozak.

What's wrong with you, man?

Dean Whitman, so what's
this mean for me?

What does it mean?
What does it mean?

Open your eyes, are you
blind? Look around you.

We'll be lucky if this
merger even happens now,

but for you, it means
Saturday morning JUGs

until you graduate,
you understand?

'Cause if you don't, I'll find
another reason to expel you.

Okay, Nozak?

Great day to be a Owl, son,

great day.

Hey, all right, get
everybody in the back.

I'm free.

Me too.

Me three.

You know, I'm actually
really excited

to try things with Ryan,

I think we really have
a connect--, oh, shoot!

You're the one
who ran me over on the bike?

What the fuck, Leo?

You spent the whole
weekend lying to me

and then you kissed me in the--

So...

Boys weekend?

Hey, you can
never be too safe

in these trying times.

Listen, boys,
we're owls for life.

Any of these kids from
St. Matt's come here

and start causing trouble,

they'll receive a
spanking from yours truly.

-Whoo!
-Whoo, come on!

Boys.

We're Owls for life.

We're Owls for life.