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1
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♪ quirky music playing ♪
2
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,258
- You are unhappy in your own life.
3
00:00:06,258 --> 00:00:10,053
- I am probably the most happy,
satisfied person in this entire mall.
4
00:00:10,929 --> 00:00:13,431
I have a cool job.
I have a great apartment.
5
00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,476
My boyfriend is a New York eight, nine.
6
00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:17,769
ANN [on phone]:
Mom died.
7
00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:19,437
- [chuckles] You killed Mom?
8
00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:21,856
ANN [on phone]:
No, I'm not joking. She's gone.
9
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:22,274
[gasps]
10
00:00:22,274 --> 00:00:24,818
♪
11
00:00:24,818 --> 00:00:26,278
- No, we love each other!
12
00:00:26,278 --> 00:00:27,821
- We didn't evolve together.
13
00:00:27,821 --> 00:00:29,656
MATT:
I didn't know you were evolving!
14
00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:31,283
No one said you were evolving!
15
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,743
[cries]
Just need a little bit more cocaine.
16
00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:35,662
[overlapping yelling, cheering]
17
00:00:35,662 --> 00:00:36,746
- How's your memory?
18
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:39,249
- They say I have short-term memory loss.
19
00:00:39,249 --> 00:00:42,294
- I-I wanted to just come by and tell you
that I'm moving out of Manhattan today.
20
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:45,213
Can I have a hug
to celebrate how well I'm doing?
21
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,381
- Kathleen!
22
00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:47,382
♪ club music playing ♪
23
00:00:47,382 --> 00:00:49,342
- You think I should have an affair,
is your advice for me?
24
00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:51,428
- Just to hook up.
He's barely married.
25
00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:53,263
- Oh, God, I miss hooking up!
26
00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:54,681
- Bobby wants to hook up with you.
27
00:00:54,681 --> 00:00:56,558
- No, no, no, no.
You're lying. What?
28
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:59,144
I'm personally never dating another guy.
29
00:00:59,144 --> 00:01:00,854
- You're sayin' that now,
and in a couple of months,
30
00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:03,273
you gon' shave that bush,
and you gon' be back out in the streets.
31
00:01:03,273 --> 00:01:07,068
- I would like for someone
to take me on a tour of your vineyards,
32
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:09,154
and sell your wine,
make you money.
33
00:01:09,154 --> 00:01:11,197
- John, our grounds manager,
he'll be happy to help you.
34
00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:13,450
[rooster crowing]
- Is there a John in here?
35
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,368
[screams]
36
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Oh, my God, I'm sorry!
Whose blood is that?
37
00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:20,498
- What?
- Do you think you could take me?
38
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,293
Hey. I was in the neighborhood.
- So glad you made it.
39
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:25,587
You don't have to pretend
I'm funny or interesting.
40
00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:29,174
- This is John's, alright?
The farmer guy.
41
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:30,884
- Do you think this is a good idea?
42
00:01:30,884 --> 00:01:32,636
We're obviously attracted to each other.
43
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- I want you to be my boyfriend right now.
44
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:37,349
Okay, are you okay?
- No. I have a fishhook in my finger.
45
00:01:37,349 --> 00:01:39,184
I don't understand why you're so upset.
46
00:01:39,184 --> 00:01:41,978
- Sometimes, you're so amazing,
and then other times,
47
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:44,272
I feel completely alone
when I'm with you!
48
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,608
I'm pretty ready for a new start.
49
00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:48,276
Part of that is me saying goodbye to John.
50
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,320
- Oh, my God, you are so annoying.
51
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,906
♪
52
00:01:52,906 --> 00:01:55,408
- If we're gonna do this,
like, I mean business with you.
53
00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:58,578
- I mean business with you.
54
00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:05,669
♪ light classical music playing ♪
55
00:02:05,669 --> 00:02:08,630
[birds chirping]
56
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,135
[watering can clanging]
57
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BETH:
It's not easy.
58
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:21,101
I mean, it's nice, ya know,
59
00:02:21,101 --> 00:02:25,397
like, it's, it--
it's really nice, just--
60
00:02:25,397 --> 00:02:27,440
Uh, I don't know, just--
61
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,570
But how do you ever really know
where you stand with someone?
62
00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:34,573
♪ operatic singing ♪
63
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:41,288
I mean, I do worry sometimes
that something with us is,
64
00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:43,498
like, off?
65
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,590
Ya know, I mean,
wh-who even wants perfect?
66
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:54,718
It's, you know,
[nervous laugh] but
67
00:02:54,718 --> 00:02:57,888
[urinating]
68
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,059
...yeah, we're, we're complimentary.
69
00:03:03,852 --> 00:03:06,521
- I just asked you to write down
your emergency contact.
70
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,522
[gasps]
71
00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:10,191
[office phone ringing]
- Oh, right. Okay, yeah. It's John.
72
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,484
His name's John.
73
00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:13,778
- Oh, is, is, is John your husband?
Is that correct?
74
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:16,323
- No! [laughs] No.
We're, we're n-- We're not married.
75
00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:19,117
I mean, I'm so young. It's--
76
00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:21,328
- Oh, ok-- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.
77
00:03:21,328 --> 00:03:23,163
Oh, and under "employer,"
I just wrote "Cole."
78
00:03:23,163 --> 00:03:25,665
They haven't really settled
on a company name yet.
79
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:28,627
I-I used to babysit Cole,
and now they're my boss.
80
00:03:28,627 --> 00:03:29,628
[laughs]
- Oh, right, right.
81
00:03:29,628 --> 00:03:32,422
- And, and the, the company, w-we,
um, help organize people's homes.
82
00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:34,883
Uh, i-it's more of a philosophy though.
83
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:37,886
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Which is, is really interesting.
84
00:03:37,886 --> 00:03:39,262
Y-You'd like them.
85
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,181
- Okay. I'm-I'm glad we're caught up.
86
00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:43,683
Thank you for coming in
for your annual exam.
87
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:46,061
I don't think we'll need
to see you for another year.
88
00:03:46,061 --> 00:03:49,105
- Yeah. It can be more
than annual, by the way.
89
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:50,649
- Oh.
- I can come in,
90
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:52,359
check in a couple times a year.
91
00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:55,111
- Well, I think we should
play this one by ear.
92
00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:56,780
Oh, oh. Just a second.
93
00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:59,532
[office phone ringing]
Hm.
94
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,326
Huh.
95
00:04:01,326 --> 00:04:05,288
Something a little bit strange here
on the back of your neck.
96
00:04:06,373 --> 00:04:08,625
- Oh, my God.
[sighs]
97
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,294
Oh, my God, just leave
everything to my sister.
98
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,629
- Hyperkyphosis.
99
00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:14,506
- Is that cancer?
100
00:04:14,506 --> 00:04:15,757
- No, hyperkyphosis is a--
101
00:04:15,757 --> 00:04:19,344
Well, it's a fancy word
for just a, a hump.
102
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:21,513
It's often called a, a widow's hump.
103
00:04:21,513 --> 00:04:23,515
- A hump?
104
00:04:23,515 --> 00:04:25,141
- Yeah. Yeah, a, a hump.
105
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,144
- My lovely lady lumps?
106
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,272
- Uh--
- Well, okay.
107
00:04:30,272 --> 00:04:32,482
Wh-what, what do, what do we do to fix it?
108
00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:36,444
- Well, there's really nothing
that could be done to fix it.
109
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:39,030
- So, I just have a hump?
- Well--
110
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:40,991
Okay, try this.
111
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:42,367
Hold your head back a little bit.
112
00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:45,996
Good, good.
A little bit more.
113
00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:49,833
Maybe just a little bit more.
114
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,545
That's really good.
Almost no hump.
115
00:04:53,545 --> 00:04:55,964
Kathleen! Come and look at this!
116
00:04:55,964 --> 00:04:57,007
[phone ringing]
117
00:04:57,007 --> 00:05:00,510
♪ opera singing ♪
118
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:03,513
[camera clicking]
119
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,602
[phone buzzing]
120
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,354
- Hey.
ANN [on phone]: Hey.
121
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,314
Mom died.
122
00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:14,065
- Hilarious.
[Ann laughs]
123
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ANN [on phone]:
I can't come to the spa today.
124
00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:16,693
- Why?
125
00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:19,487
- Uh, because I don't want to.
126
00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:22,574
- You couldn't even make up an excuse?
127
00:05:22,574 --> 00:05:24,409
You know, it'd be good for you
to get some of that stress
128
00:05:24,409 --> 00:05:26,244
out of your tightly wound body.
129
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:28,538
- Well, I'm going out with Kylie later.
130
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:31,333
I can only handle
one activity per day, so.
131
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,627
- [sighs]
Okay, I'm making this a FaceTime.
132
00:05:33,627 --> 00:05:36,755
I wanna see your cute face. Answer.
[Ann sighs]
133
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,759
Hi.
134
00:05:40,759 --> 00:05:43,678
I have a big date with John tonight.
Like, a real one.
135
00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:45,263
- I know because you told me seven times.
136
00:05:45,263 --> 00:05:46,514
KYLIE [on phone]: Is that Beth?
- Yeah.
137
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,308
KYLIE: With a big date tonight.
- Yeah.
138
00:05:48,308 --> 00:05:50,560
- Hi, Kylie.
ANN [on phone]: Beth says hi.
139
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,188
KYLIE [on phone]: Hi. How are you?
- Good! Good! How are you?
140
00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:55,941
- Um, no, I'm not gonna do
a whole back and forth.
141
00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:59,778
- Oh, well, okay.
Well, I'd love to see you.
142
00:05:59,778 --> 00:06:01,321
ANN [on phone]: Yeah, we'll see.
- Yeah.
143
00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:02,781
You know, I found out
I have a hump. Look at this.
144
00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:04,658
ANN:
'Kay, I'm gonna have to let you go.
145
00:06:04,658 --> 00:06:07,452
- Like a camel or a whale.
[hang-up sound]
146
00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:08,828
Or the guy who loves Notre Dame.
147
00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:11,039
Hello? Annie?
148
00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,833
♪ classical music playing ♪
149
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,669
[doorbell ringing]
150
00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:22,842
Cole?
COLE: Um, I'm, I'm in here.
151
00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:27,764
- Hi.
COLE: Hi.
152
00:06:28,932 --> 00:06:30,725
BETH: Okay.
[Cole sighs]
153
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,811
This doesn't really feel
[book thudding]
154
00:06:32,811 --> 00:06:35,230
like an emergency.
You know it's my day off, right?
155
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,232
- [sighs] I'm not a fucking librarian.
156
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:38,692
I don't know the doodie decimal system.
157
00:06:38,692 --> 00:06:41,736
- Well, why don't you just
organize them alphabetically?
158
00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:43,738
Or by color or something?
[sighs]
159
00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:45,073
- I hate books.
160
00:06:45,073 --> 00:06:48,159
I mean, they're just little
pretend trophies, ya know?
161
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,369
Look at this.
162
00:06:49,369 --> 00:06:50,912
This is a construct.
163
00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:52,539
- People love books.
164
00:06:52,539 --> 00:06:53,915
- Oh, yeah? Name a book.
165
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:58,837
- Um, yeah. Mark Twain?
166
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:01,506
- That's a movie, Beth.
- Okay, this is not an emergency.
167
00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:04,134
I'm gonna go.
I'm meeting my friends at the spa.
168
00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:05,260
Maya works there now,
169
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,804
so all the facials
and massages are comped.
170
00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:09,222
COLE: Ooh, comped.
- Yeah.
171
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:11,558
- Then can I come with?
- No.
172
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:12,767
- Fine.
173
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:15,061
I'm getting my own
kinda facial later anyway.
174
00:07:15,061 --> 00:07:16,813
- Sir.
- Not, sir.
175
00:07:16,813 --> 00:07:18,523
They/them.
176
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,525
It's okay if you forget.
Just, um,
177
00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:23,111
don't.
- I'm sorry.
178
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:25,322
They/them. I will get it.
COLE: Yeah.
179
00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:27,699
And, um, what's your pronoun these days?
180
00:07:27,699 --> 00:07:28,950
Is it still cunt?
181
00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:30,827
- Okay. Bye!
- Wait, Beth.
182
00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:32,078
Please help with this! Look at it!
183
00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:34,664
[sniffs]
Ow! I got a book cut!
184
00:07:34,664 --> 00:07:37,876
♪ Vegetables by The Beach Boys playing ♪
185
00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:41,129
- ♪ I'm gonna chow down my vegetables ♪
186
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,215
♪ I love ♪
- As usual, here ya go.
187
00:07:43,215 --> 00:07:46,092
- ♪ You most of all ♪
- Now you're gettin' into it, huh?
188
00:07:46,092 --> 00:07:49,512
- ♪ My favorite vegetable ♪
- Get you in here, okay?
189
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:53,183
- ♪ Chomp-chomp-chomp-chomp,
doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
190
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:56,603
♪ Bop-bop-bop-bop,
doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
191
00:07:56,603 --> 00:08:00,023
♪ Vegetable ♪
192
00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:01,483
[school bell ringing]
193
00:08:01,483 --> 00:08:04,402
♪ Ting-A-Ling by Shabba Ranks playing ♪
194
00:08:04,402 --> 00:08:07,280
- So, I said, "Mr. Krieger, we're seniors.
195
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,283
We deserve to miss class if we want to."
[hallway chatter]
196
00:08:10,283 --> 00:08:13,828
♪
197
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:16,122
- He's coming over here. Look hot.
198
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:20,585
- Yo.
[cassette clicking]
199
00:08:21,628 --> 00:08:23,296
- Is that for me?
- Yeah.
200
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:26,132
Made it for you or whoever.
201
00:08:27,509 --> 00:08:29,010
- You guys should go out.
202
00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:31,972
- Okay. I would.
203
00:08:32,681 --> 00:08:34,224
You wanna go out with me?
204
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:37,060
- Yeah, I would.
205
00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:38,645
Yeah, totally. Yeah.
206
00:08:38,645 --> 00:08:41,523
Are you, are you going to Social Studies?
207
00:08:41,523 --> 00:08:43,275
- Yeah. Yeah, you wanna go?
208
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:45,652
- Yeah.
- Cool.
209
00:08:45,652 --> 00:08:48,363
♪
210
00:08:49,781 --> 00:08:51,449
♪ quiet opera singing ♪
211
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,618
JESS: You can barely see it.
- Come on.
212
00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:55,495
- I can see it.
213
00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:56,913
I mean, it's right there.
It's a big hump.
214
00:08:57,581 --> 00:09:00,292
You don't see it? I've always seen it.
JESS: I was trying to be nice.
215
00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:02,419
Please don't make my birthday
about your deformity.
216
00:09:02,419 --> 00:09:03,962
- I'm deformed?
217
00:09:03,962 --> 00:09:06,882
Oh, my God.
I need to start wearing turtlenecks,
218
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:10,552
like Diane Sawyer,
or Keaton, or von Furst--
219
00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:13,013
All Dianes. Jesus.
220
00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:14,514
- What did John say about it?
221
00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:17,350
- He said, "Don't worry.
Real women have curves."
222
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,728
- Are you really not coming
martini bowling with us?
223
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:21,146
BETH:
No. I want to.
224
00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,355
I really do,
225
00:09:22,355 --> 00:09:25,066
but it's the only night that
we could get this together.
226
00:09:25,066 --> 00:09:26,776
Like, get him outta work and everything.
227
00:09:26,776 --> 00:09:28,445
It's-- I'm sorry,
228
00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:30,196
but will you help me with my makeup?
229
00:09:30,196 --> 00:09:32,240
- Yeah.
- I can help you, too.
230
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:33,783
[clicks tongue]
231
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,329
- Where's Maya?
JESS: Mm,
232
00:09:37,329 --> 00:09:40,957
hopefully, rubbin' down
some hot construction worker.
233
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:41,958
JEN:
Mm.
234
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,794
[moans]
- There ya go, Helen.
235
00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:47,672
[Helen moaning, sigh]
Oh, yes.
236
00:09:48,465 --> 00:09:52,010
How you feel?
[groans, laughs]
237
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:55,430
- I am transformed. Thank you, sweetheart!
[laughs]
238
00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:57,641
- My pleasure!
- [laughs] Have a new hip,
239
00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:59,601
wait 'til they see me at the boxing gym.
240
00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:01,728
[laughs]
- Yes! That's right! Hip it on out!
241
00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,313
Hip, hip Helen!
[giggle]
242
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:05,106
Hey, girl!
243
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,358
Don't break nothin'!
244
00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:08,235
[both laugh]
245
00:10:09,277 --> 00:10:12,364
♪ soft classical music playing ♪
246
00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:15,075
[all greet Maya]
- Hi. Hello.
247
00:10:15,075 --> 00:10:16,952
Yeah. Get off your phones.
248
00:10:16,952 --> 00:10:18,495
You're not supposed
to have phones on in here.
249
00:10:18,495 --> 00:10:20,664
- It's helping us relax.
- Oh, my God,
250
00:10:20,664 --> 00:10:22,666
this place is so nice, hon'.
251
00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:23,875
[wrapper crinkling]
252
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,085
- Is that a chicken cutlet?
253
00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:26,211
- [mouthful] Yeah.
254
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:28,255
MAYA: Are you kidding me?
- You want some?
255
00:10:28,255 --> 00:10:30,507
- No, I don't want--
What are you-- Are you crazy?
256
00:10:30,507 --> 00:10:33,301
- Well, we didn't know
what food they would have here,
257
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:35,554
so we just brought our own.
- Yeah.
258
00:10:35,554 --> 00:10:38,348
MAYA: Why are you giving more?
I said no food.
259
00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:39,558
- Uh, do you want a little?
260
00:10:39,558 --> 00:10:43,311
- N-No, I can't have any wine.
If I can't eat, why would I have wine?
261
00:10:43,311 --> 00:10:44,729
BETH:
You look really cute.
262
00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:46,189
You should wear that out.
263
00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:48,358
- Come on. This is my job, guys. Please.
264
00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:50,360
- You know it's Jess's birthday?
MAYA: Of course, I know.
265
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,653
Happy birthday, Jessy.
266
00:10:51,653 --> 00:10:52,654
- [mouthful] Thank you.
267
00:10:52,654 --> 00:10:54,406
MAYA: Can you stop eating
for your birthday? For me?
268
00:10:54,406 --> 00:10:57,075
- Wait, so, this room's so pretty,
269
00:10:57,075 --> 00:10:58,618
but it's, like, not that hot.
270
00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:01,162
What... what is it? Ya know?
271
00:11:01,162 --> 00:11:03,582
- Yeah. It's, like, we're not
really sweating, ya know?
272
00:11:03,582 --> 00:11:04,749
- Yeah.
- Did ya turn on the steam?
273
00:11:04,749 --> 00:11:07,836
- I told you! I knew it.
- Shit.
274
00:11:07,836 --> 00:11:09,838
We're trash.
- We thought it was a sauna.
275
00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:11,548
- Do you see wood in here?
276
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:12,757
- What does that mean?
277
00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:14,175
[hits button]
278
00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:18,179
[all gasping and exclaiming]
279
00:11:18,555 --> 00:11:20,891
- You guys are embarrassing.
Gimme-- Come on.
280
00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:24,102
Come on. I'm on break.
- You know you want a sandwich.
281
00:11:24,102 --> 00:11:25,770
- Fancy spa!
282
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:28,231
- And there's honey mustard.
283
00:11:28,231 --> 00:11:30,233
[steam hissing]
284
00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:34,362
- Annie?
285
00:11:36,031 --> 00:11:38,074
- You want help?
- Yes, please.
286
00:11:38,074 --> 00:11:41,077
- 'Kay.
[iron hissing]
287
00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:44,205
So heavy.
- And hot. Be careful.
288
00:11:45,123 --> 00:11:47,834
- Your hair's grown a lot.
Why are you ironing it?
289
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,962
- I look less Jewish like this, don't I?
290
00:11:52,214 --> 00:11:54,216
- Uh, I don't know. Yeah?
291
00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,969
- Let me just go check.
- Okay.
292
00:11:57,969 --> 00:12:01,598
♪ Fire Door by Ani DiFranco
playing in room ♪
293
00:12:05,769 --> 00:12:07,062
- Where's Mom?
294
00:12:07,062 --> 00:12:09,689
- She's out with [dramatically] Darren.
295
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,524
I mean, Darryl.
296
00:12:12,317 --> 00:12:13,777
Yeah, Darryl.
297
00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:16,863
- Okay, well, um, I'm going out.
298
00:12:16,863 --> 00:12:18,114
- We are?
299
00:12:21,368 --> 00:12:22,369
[Beth sighs]
300
00:12:22,369 --> 00:12:24,496
♪ rock music playing ♪
301
00:12:24,496 --> 00:12:26,623
[party chatter]
302
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,918
- Crazy party.
[nervous laugh]
303
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,336
- Yeah.
- Hm.
304
00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,298
I like your hair.
305
00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:38,093
- Oh, thanks. Thank you.
[nervous laugh]
306
00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:49,271
- [clears throat] Uh.
You ever play the game "Trust Me"?
307
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:52,023
- No. What's that?
308
00:12:53,149 --> 00:12:55,944
- It's where I put my hand on your leg,
309
00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:58,572
and then I move it up
until you say you don't trust me.
310
00:12:59,614 --> 00:13:00,865
Like this.
311
00:13:04,077 --> 00:13:05,328
Trust me?
312
00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:08,081
- Yeah.
313
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,000
- Trust me?
314
00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:12,836
Trust me?
315
00:13:12,836 --> 00:13:16,006
♪
316
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:20,719
- Uh, no.
- Oh, come on. [laughs] Come on.
317
00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:21,928
Alright, you do it to me now.
318
00:13:21,928 --> 00:13:23,930
- Okay.
319
00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,557
[clicks tongue]
[laughs]
320
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,102
Trust me?
- Mm-hm.
321
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,355
- Trust me?
- Mm-hm.
322
00:13:34,024 --> 00:13:35,358
- Trust me?
- I trust you.
323
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:36,902
Keep going.
324
00:13:38,778 --> 00:13:40,822
- [scoffs] Nice try.
- Oh, what?
325
00:13:40,822 --> 00:13:42,991
What, what is it?
326
00:13:42,991 --> 00:13:44,618
- I don't, I don't, I don't know.
327
00:13:44,618 --> 00:13:46,661
I-I don't wanna be called, like, a slut.
328
00:13:46,661 --> 00:13:49,623
I don't want everyone else to think that.
- What? No one's gonna call you that.
329
00:13:49,623 --> 00:13:52,000
Oh, come on. Let's play again.
- Okay.
330
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,003
- And I promise,
I would never tell anybody.
331
00:13:56,338 --> 00:13:58,590
You better not tell.
- I w-- I will not tell.
332
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,508
- Okay. [laughs]
- I-- [laughs]
333
00:14:00,508 --> 00:14:03,011
- Cross my heart, hope to die?
[both laugh]
334
00:14:03,011 --> 00:14:04,012
Okay.
335
00:14:04,012 --> 00:14:06,431
[awkward laugh]
336
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:07,682
Trust me?
337
00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:11,603
- Yeah. I trust you.
338
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,606
♪ I Wonder by Blind Melon
playing at party ♪
339
00:14:14,606 --> 00:14:17,609
[party chatter]
340
00:14:22,113 --> 00:14:24,366
[laughter]
341
00:14:24,366 --> 00:14:27,369
♪ I'm in the Band by Bratmobile
playing through headphones ♪
342
00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:28,870
[keys jingle]
343
00:14:32,249 --> 00:14:33,625
- I'ma head out.
- Okay.
344
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:35,794
- I'ma see you later though, right?
- Yeah.
345
00:14:35,794 --> 00:14:37,337
- You should really get
outta the house today.
346
00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,339
- [laughs] You betcha.
347
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:43,009
Yes. Okay.
- Okay.
348
00:14:43,009 --> 00:14:45,387
- Thank you. Oh.
349
00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:47,389
Thank you. Thank you.
350
00:14:50,684 --> 00:14:52,686
Bye!
KYLIE: Bye.
351
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,230
[door slams]
352
00:14:57,107 --> 00:15:00,318
♪ upbeat jazz music playing ♪
353
00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,240
- See ya, man.
354
00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:17,919
[sighing]
355
00:15:17,919 --> 00:15:19,880
- God, I hate my tits.
356
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,923
I used to be so hot.
357
00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:24,342
- Hey. This is gonna be
the best decade of our lives.
358
00:15:24,342 --> 00:15:26,428
BETH: Yeah. 40s.
- Mm.
359
00:15:26,428 --> 00:15:28,346
- Seriously!
It's, like, the hidden secret.
360
00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:30,724
- Absolutely.
- Your 40s are underrated.
361
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,893
Think about your parents' pictures.
That's when they looked the hottest.
362
00:15:32,893 --> 00:15:34,519
JEN: Yes!
- Right? They-- In their prime.
363
00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:35,562
MAYA:
Oh, yeah.
364
00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:39,316
They didn't start lookin'
like shit until they mid-40s.
365
00:15:40,859 --> 00:15:43,361
- But I still feel good. I still feel 35.
366
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:45,906
I wanna appreciate this moment, ya know?
JEN: Yeah.
367
00:15:45,906 --> 00:15:47,908
- Mm-hm.
- Every year we look back and we go,
368
00:15:47,908 --> 00:15:50,452
"I was so young then."
Like, we're young now.
369
00:15:50,452 --> 00:15:52,370
Ya know?
That's why I wanna go to this dinner,
370
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:55,957
and sit across from John,
and... be in good lighting.
371
00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:57,876
Ya know, those romantic vibes.
372
00:15:57,876 --> 00:15:59,794
And I just want him to think like, "God,
373
00:16:00,337 --> 00:16:01,588
"she's
374
00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:05,050
...sexy." I don't know.
[friends laugh]
375
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:07,886
- God, I miss those feelings.
- I don't even remember them.
376
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:10,972
Our best years are behind us.
- Why would you say some shit like that?
377
00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:12,098
Come on.
- Jesus.
378
00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:15,268
Only on your birthday
can you be that negative.
379
00:16:15,268 --> 00:16:16,770
MAYA:
I think you guys are crazy.
380
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,022
Your guys love you.
They think you're hot.
381
00:16:19,022 --> 00:16:20,523
- Yeah, well, I don't feel it.
382
00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:23,193
Bryan sends me one word
responses to my texts always.
383
00:16:23,193 --> 00:16:24,819
I'll send, like, a full paragraph
384
00:16:24,819 --> 00:16:27,113
and he'll be like,
"Cool", or "Understood."
385
00:16:27,113 --> 00:16:30,283
And I'm like, "Hello?
I made your children. With my body."
386
00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:31,534
- With your hot body.
387
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:32,661
- Yeah.
JEN: Yeah.
388
00:16:32,661 --> 00:16:34,704
- That's why you gotta
send him a puss pic.
389
00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,998
[all laughing]
390
00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:40,085
Yeah. That'll get your ass an answer.
JESS: Can you imagine?
391
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:41,836
He'd be like,
"Uh, what the fuck am I looking at?"
392
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:43,463
- Oh, my God.
393
00:16:43,463 --> 00:16:45,465
- Well, do you ever
text him anything sexy?
394
00:16:45,465 --> 00:16:47,050
I mean, d-do any of you?
395
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:49,010
- I definitely do not.
- Never.
396
00:16:49,010 --> 00:16:50,345
- Ugh, I know, me either.
397
00:16:50,345 --> 00:16:51,513
- I do. Hell yeah.
398
00:16:52,347 --> 00:16:55,225
You just crop your face out.
That's the key.
399
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:56,768
- Maybe we should.
400
00:16:57,811 --> 00:17:00,230
Yeah. Like, I mean,
what if we text them right now?
401
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,107
Like, and just said, like,
402
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:03,733
"Do you wanna have phone sex right now?"
- Stop it.
403
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,735
- No, no. [laughing]
BETH: No, seriously.
404
00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:07,487
No, let's just do it! Let's all do it.
405
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,323
I have no idea what John's gonna say.
- Alright, if you're doing it, I'll do it.
406
00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:12,242
- I, I can't, I can't. I'm working.
407
00:17:12,242 --> 00:17:15,036
Plus, also, Shlomo was meetin'
with a Holocaust survivor.
408
00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:16,413
You know what I'm sayin'?
Them people
409
00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:18,498
already been through enough
without seein' my vagina.
410
00:17:18,498 --> 00:17:20,625
- Okay, well, I'm gonna do it.
JESS: Uh, okay.
411
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:23,044
And I am getting dots. I am getting dots.
[gasps]
412
00:17:24,796 --> 00:17:27,340
"Too tired."
His first two-word response to me
413
00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:29,593
was to tell me he didn't wanna fuck me.
414
00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:31,011
[sighs]
- I'm sorry.
415
00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:33,263
I got, "Driving to you.
416
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:35,557
Love, John." That's cute.
417
00:17:35,557 --> 00:17:38,101
- Yeah.
- I have nothing, thank God.
418
00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:39,936
[laughs]
So, we do
419
00:17:39,936 --> 00:17:42,772
cold plunge, room temp pool, cold plunge,
420
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:44,024
walk over bed of rocks.
421
00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:46,484
- Absolutely. Come on, let's do it.
422
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,904
- Okay. That sounds relaxing.
- Sounds like waterboarding.
423
00:17:48,904 --> 00:17:51,823
I'm gonna stay right here,
but thank you so much.
424
00:17:51,823 --> 00:17:53,199
- Hey, people like this shit.
JESS: Okay.
425
00:17:53,199 --> 00:17:55,160
- I'm gonna do the rocks.
Maybe it'll help my back.
426
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,787
- I'm gonna do the cold plunge.
- Okay.
427
00:17:57,787 --> 00:18:00,790
JEN: This is good for me. This is healthy.
- Yeah, yeah.
428
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:01,750
- Please. Yes, yes, yes.
- Alright, take your time.
429
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:03,668
- We're gonna do it at the same time?
- Okay. Ready?
430
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:04,836
JEN: Yeah.
BETH: Here we go.
431
00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:06,796
BOTH:
One, two, three.
432
00:18:06,796 --> 00:18:09,382
- [screaming] Ow! Ow!
433
00:18:09,382 --> 00:18:11,134
JEN:
No, no, no. I hate this.
434
00:18:11,134 --> 00:18:12,928
[laughing]
I hate you. I hate this place. I hate it.
435
00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:15,722
Mean! Mean. No.
BETH: Horrible!
436
00:18:15,722 --> 00:18:16,973
- You didn't even give it a chance!
- God!
437
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:19,643
- Yes, we did!
- Uh, no, you didn't!
438
00:18:19,643 --> 00:18:23,271
You was barely on there!
- Oh, my God, that's not cool.
439
00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:25,190
This is cool.
JEN: Yeah, this is good.
440
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,400
- This is where we return to the womb.
441
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,319
- Temperature of the body.
[phone buzzing]
442
00:18:29,319 --> 00:18:30,820
BETH: Yeah.
- Hold on.
443
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:32,614
Hello?
JEFF [on phone]: Hey.
444
00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:37,619
So, like, do you go first or--
- What?
445
00:18:38,495 --> 00:18:40,622
JEFF [on phone]: W-What?
- Why are you calling?
446
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:42,749
JEFF [on phone]:
To have phone sex?
447
00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:44,000
- What? Phone sex?
448
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,126
[both gasp]
- Shut up.
449
00:18:45,126 --> 00:18:47,879
[excited whispering]
450
00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,881
- You have to do it. You have to do it.
[crosstalk]
451
00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:51,633
- Can you hold on for one minute? What?!
452
00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:54,386
[birds chirping outside]
453
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:55,804
- Do it. Do it.
- Jeff. Jeff. Jeff.
454
00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:57,597
[chanting] Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff.
MAYA: Just go.
455
00:18:57,597 --> 00:18:58,932
- [sings] ♪ Jeff, Jeff ♪
456
00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:01,977
- Well, in that case, I guess,
I'm just wearing a towel.
457
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:04,563
[all laughing]
[mouthing] Fuck you!
458
00:19:04,563 --> 00:19:06,731
- Jeff, we want you.
[Jess fake moaning]
459
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:09,317
- [emotionless] Yeah. That's hot.
460
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:14,990
♪ Oh Shit by The Pharcyde
playing through headphones ♪
461
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:17,033
♪ Dude, she was dope ♪
462
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,536
♪ Man, real dope on the real ♪
463
00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:22,664
♪ Well, anyway, I went toot toot,
she said hey, beep beep ♪
464
00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:24,833
♪ The next day, rolled down to the beach ♪
465
00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:27,043
ANN: Haven't you listened
to that tape enough?
466
00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:28,628
[music continues]
[laughs]
467
00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:31,256
- No.
[music gets quieter]
468
00:19:31,256 --> 00:19:33,425
- Can you sign
this permission slip for me?
469
00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:36,011
- Sure. Where you goin'?
470
00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:38,930
- Museum of Natural Mystery.
471
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,432
- History.
[doorbell rings]
472
00:19:40,432 --> 00:19:41,683
- [gasps] Mom!
473
00:19:43,059 --> 00:19:45,478
- Why would Mom be home?
She's, she's not back until tomorrow.
474
00:19:45,478 --> 00:19:47,314
[doorbell rings twice]
475
00:19:47,314 --> 00:19:48,607
What if it's Tim?
476
00:19:48,607 --> 00:19:50,317
Do I look cute?!
[sighs]
477
00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:55,822
[quiet street noise]
478
00:19:55,822 --> 00:19:57,574
Tim?
- Yo.
479
00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,827
JASON: Slut!
ROB: Ugly Jewbag!
480
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,787
[friends laughing]
481
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,834
- Beth, what is that?
482
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,837
♪
483
00:20:11,713 --> 00:20:12,714
What is that?
484
00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:18,428
[closes bag]
485
00:20:18,428 --> 00:20:21,181
- It's nothing. Go back inside.
- Beth, I'm scared.
486
00:20:21,181 --> 00:20:22,432
BETH: Go back inside.
ANN: Okay, okay.
487
00:20:22,432 --> 00:20:24,601
BETH: It's just-- It's a joke.
Okay? It's just a funny joke.
488
00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:32,400
MRS. VOIGT [on phone]:
Hello?
489
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,528
- Hi, Mrs. Voigt, uh, this is Beth.
- Oh, hi, dear.
490
00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:36,821
- Is Tim home?
491
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:39,783
♪
492
00:20:39,783 --> 00:20:41,785
I know. Sorry it's so late.
493
00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:49,584
[phone picks up]
TIM [on phone]: Yeah?
494
00:20:52,254 --> 00:20:54,965
- Um, why did you guys
leave a dead cat on my lawn?
495
00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,634
TIM [on phone]:
Oh, uh, [nervous laugh]
496
00:20:57,634 --> 00:20:59,427
that was Terrance's idea.
497
00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:04,391
- Funny.
498
00:21:07,394 --> 00:21:09,813
Do you wanna be together anymore or?
499
00:21:11,147 --> 00:21:13,108
TIM [on phone]:
Mm... No.
500
00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:15,110
[chuckles]
I don't think so.
501
00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:20,031
- Okay, that's fine.
502
00:21:20,031 --> 00:21:21,491
TIM [on phone]:
You just need to back off, okay?
503
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:24,035
I mean, I kind of knew right away
I didn't want you to be my girlfriend.
504
00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:25,287
[Tim laughs]
505
00:21:28,665 --> 00:21:30,292
- Alright. Yeah, me too.
506
00:21:31,835 --> 00:21:33,503
Um, I'll see you.
TIM [on phone]: See ya.
507
00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:36,506
[hangs up, dial tone]
508
00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:44,973
[dial tone continues]
509
00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:49,686
[street noise]
510
00:21:51,938 --> 00:21:53,356
JOHN:
Hey, Beth!
511
00:21:53,356 --> 00:21:55,609
[cage rattling]
512
00:21:56,443 --> 00:21:58,570
- John?
[clucking]
513
00:21:58,570 --> 00:21:59,863
- You're wearing makeup.
514
00:21:59,863 --> 00:22:01,823
- Yeah.
- You don't need makeup.
515
00:22:02,449 --> 00:22:03,450
- Thanks.
516
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,160
- No, like, I don't
think anyone needs makeup.
517
00:22:05,744 --> 00:22:07,913
- Uh, okay. Yeah.
518
00:22:07,913 --> 00:22:10,624
Are you gonna--
Like, do you have shoes or?
519
00:22:10,624 --> 00:22:12,208
- Yes, but I left them at the horse farm
520
00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:13,960
when I gave Pete all that wine.
Would you hold these?
521
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,755
[clucking]
Please. I have to pee so bad.
522
00:22:16,755 --> 00:22:19,633
- Uh, um, well, John, are these--
523
00:22:21,218 --> 00:22:22,219
Uh--
JOHN: 'Kay.
524
00:22:22,219 --> 00:22:24,346
Let's go in and see
if they have a table for us.
525
00:22:24,346 --> 00:22:25,972
- You didn't make a reservation or--
526
00:22:25,972 --> 00:22:29,809
- No. Bring those.
Let's, let's check. I have to pee.
527
00:22:30,602 --> 00:22:32,896
BETH: Oh, thanks.
- Thank you. Appreciate it.
528
00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:34,397
BETH:
Um, John?
529
00:22:34,397 --> 00:22:36,316
[clucking]
530
00:22:36,316 --> 00:22:38,068
Um.
531
00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:41,071
[traffic noise]
532
00:22:41,071 --> 00:22:43,865
[man yelling]
533
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:45,659
[bottles clattering]
534
00:22:45,659 --> 00:22:46,660
[John sighs]
535
00:22:47,786 --> 00:22:50,455
[clanks]
- Food here is really special.
536
00:22:50,455 --> 00:22:51,873
[creak, clanking]
537
00:22:51,873 --> 00:22:53,583
So, how was the spa?
538
00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:54,668
- Um,
539
00:22:55,335 --> 00:22:57,045
it smells like trash.
540
00:22:57,045 --> 00:22:59,714
- It's probably me. I was working
with compost most of the morning,
541
00:22:59,714 --> 00:23:04,344
and, um, and I also played basketball.
[sniffs] Yeah, it's, it's me I think.
542
00:23:04,344 --> 00:23:07,347
[bottle clattering]
[man yelling]
543
00:23:08,974 --> 00:23:12,519
- I guess I'm feeling a little let down.
544
00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:16,398
- About the hump?
Can't you just wear a shawl or a poncho?
545
00:23:16,398 --> 00:23:19,818
- No, uh, not about the hump.
This was supposed to be--
546
00:23:21,570 --> 00:23:24,948
We're sitting in, like, a trash alley,
and you have no shoes on.
547
00:23:24,948 --> 00:23:28,410
A-And I don't even wanna
know what that white stuff is.
548
00:23:28,410 --> 00:23:29,828
- Horse semen.
549
00:23:29,828 --> 00:23:32,706
- What?
- Most likely, I think.
550
00:23:32,706 --> 00:23:34,207
- [scoffs] God,
551
00:23:34,666 --> 00:23:36,543
I think I smell it.
I-I,
552
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:39,796
...I wanted to have a night out with you,
553
00:23:39,796 --> 00:23:41,715
and, like, sit in good lighting,
554
00:23:41,715 --> 00:23:44,676
and this is bad lighting,
and it doesn't even matter
555
00:23:44,676 --> 00:23:47,304
'cause you aren't even
looking at me at all.
556
00:23:47,304 --> 00:23:49,097
- I don't really know
why you're attacking me.
557
00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:51,600
I mean, you wanna sit inside?
558
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,602
- I'm not attacking you.
No one's attacking you.
559
00:23:53,602 --> 00:23:56,146
I-I-I think I just wanna go home.
560
00:23:56,146 --> 00:23:59,608
- Well, I don't. I wanna relax
and enjoy this beautiful food with you.
561
00:24:00,275 --> 00:24:02,027
- I think I was just
building this night up,
562
00:24:02,027 --> 00:24:05,196
and, and us,
and, and I-I need to just be realistic
563
00:24:05,196 --> 00:24:09,326
that you see me as more
of, like, a friend or, like, a roommate.
564
00:24:09,326 --> 00:24:13,079
- No, I don't.
- No, I, I d-- This is my problem. I-I--
565
00:24:13,914 --> 00:24:16,958
I-I shouldn't be putting
all these expectations on you
566
00:24:16,958 --> 00:24:19,127
to, like, shower,
567
00:24:19,127 --> 00:24:21,630
or, you know, wear shoes
568
00:24:21,630 --> 00:24:24,758
in very public places.
569
00:24:24,758 --> 00:24:27,802
- Well, no, you can have expectations.
We're in a committed relationship.
570
00:24:27,802 --> 00:24:31,473
- I can just chill out. I'm gonna--
This is a good thing I'm saying.
571
00:24:31,473 --> 00:24:34,559
I'm gonna back off of you,
and, and that's my fault
572
00:24:34,559 --> 00:24:37,896
for putting pressure on you
and tonight and everything.
573
00:24:37,896 --> 00:24:40,649
I-I--
- Beth, I know I'm not dressed great,
574
00:24:40,649 --> 00:24:43,818
but I'm here to be with you.
575
00:24:43,818 --> 00:24:47,197
I worked hard all day
to get here to be with you.
576
00:24:47,197 --> 00:24:49,699
I was up harvesting at 6:00 a.m.,
577
00:24:49,699 --> 00:24:51,576
I traded wine for those chickens,
578
00:24:51,576 --> 00:24:53,954
and then I took a U-Haul
with Pete to Queens
579
00:24:53,954 --> 00:24:56,206
a-and put all my produce in a cab.
580
00:24:56,206 --> 00:24:57,832
I jerked off a horse,
581
00:24:57,832 --> 00:25:01,086
which is not related
to... any of those tasks,
582
00:25:01,086 --> 00:25:03,547
but it was a big part
of the course of my day.
583
00:25:03,547 --> 00:25:05,632
And I did all of that
so that I could spend
584
00:25:05,632 --> 00:25:08,218
this evening with you because I love you.
585
00:25:09,302 --> 00:25:12,472
Realistically, we're, we're gonna
get married and have kids.
586
00:25:13,473 --> 00:25:14,933
- Shut up. Really?
587
00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:18,478
- I don't wanna meet any new people.
I-I'd marry you tomorrow.
588
00:25:19,521 --> 00:25:22,482
- My God, I'd marry you right now.
589
00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:23,525
- Yeah, I know.
590
00:25:23,525 --> 00:25:25,485
- [exhales] Oh, okay.
591
00:25:25,485 --> 00:25:28,572
- We are gonna get married,
and we're gonna have a family,
592
00:25:28,572 --> 00:25:30,115
and it's gonna be great, Beth.
593
00:25:31,116 --> 00:25:33,451
- I love when you say my name.
594
00:25:33,451 --> 00:25:36,288
♪
595
00:25:36,288 --> 00:25:38,248
- Ainsley, hey.
- Hey, John. How's it goin'?
596
00:25:38,248 --> 00:25:39,708
- Good. How you doin'?
- Good.
597
00:25:39,708 --> 00:25:42,335
- Hey, Marco.
- Hey. How's it goin', guys?
598
00:25:42,335 --> 00:25:44,045
- Good.
JOHN: Alright.
599
00:25:44,045 --> 00:25:45,255
Thank you.
MARCO: Of course.
600
00:25:45,255 --> 00:25:46,631
- Hi.
- Hi.
601
00:25:46,631 --> 00:25:50,594
So, these dishes aren't on the menu yet,
so I'd love to hear what you think.
602
00:25:50,594 --> 00:25:52,846
And I hope you guys
are cool with this table.
603
00:25:52,846 --> 00:25:55,515
It's pretty much the best one we got, so.
- Definitely.
604
00:25:55,515 --> 00:25:57,475
- It's perfect. Thank you.
- It's nice to see you.
605
00:25:57,475 --> 00:25:59,102
- Thank you so much.
JOHN: Thanks for having us.
606
00:25:59,978 --> 00:26:01,062
BETH: Oh, my God.
[door shuts]
607
00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:03,440
♪
608
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,691
I--
609
00:26:06,401 --> 00:26:08,153
Have you ever been martini bowling?
610
00:26:08,153 --> 00:26:10,530
- No. Why do they call it martini bowling?
611
00:26:10,530 --> 00:26:15,368
♪ One Margarita by Casa Di, Steve Terrell,
and That Chick Angel playing ♪
612
00:26:15,368 --> 00:26:18,121
♪ Give me three margaritas,
I'ma put it in my puss ♪
613
00:26:18,121 --> 00:26:20,624
♪ Give me four margaritas,
I'ma put it in my tush ♪
614
00:26:20,624 --> 00:26:23,001
♪ Give me five margaritas,
I'ma have some fun ♪
615
00:26:23,001 --> 00:26:25,837
♪ Give me five margaritas,
I'ma put it in your bun ♪
616
00:26:25,837 --> 00:26:28,340
♪ Give me one margarita,
I'ma open my legs ♪
617
00:26:28,340 --> 00:26:30,926
♪ Give me two margaritas,
I'ma give you some head ♪
618
00:26:30,926 --> 00:26:33,678
- Oh!
[friends exclaiming]
619
00:26:33,678 --> 00:26:36,473
[bowling sounds]
Come here. I have news. I have news.
620
00:26:36,473 --> 00:26:37,599
- Hey.
- Hey, hey.
621
00:26:37,599 --> 00:26:39,517
- Okay.
- Look how much vodka I have on my shirt!
622
00:26:39,517 --> 00:26:42,562
- Yes, that is certainly a lot of vodka.
- I'm, I'm staying at Jess's.
623
00:26:42,562 --> 00:26:43,980
- Okay, listen.
624
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:46,107
John and I are getting married.
625
00:26:46,107 --> 00:26:49,736
[overlapping excited shouting]
626
00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:51,488
- I mean, this is, this is meant to be.
627
00:26:51,488 --> 00:26:52,989
- That's so sweet.
628
00:26:52,989 --> 00:26:55,575
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
- Oh... That's your husband.
629
00:26:55,575 --> 00:26:57,619
[bowling sounds]
BETH: There he is.
630
00:26:57,619 --> 00:27:00,413
I-I need a drink.
[crosstalk]
631
00:27:00,413 --> 00:27:02,249
JEN: Start from the beginning.
- Okay.
632
00:27:02,249 --> 00:27:04,167
- All the details.
BETH/BRYAN: Hi!
633
00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,627
BETH: Is this-- Can I drink this?
JESS: It's yours.
634
00:27:05,627 --> 00:27:07,671
Whatever you want, it's yours.
BETH: No, it's your birthday!
635
00:27:07,671 --> 00:27:10,840
- Shut up. Tell us the story.
[overlapping chatter]
636
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,134
- Okay, so, John just said,
637
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:15,053
[bowling ball thud]
"Well, we're gonna get married."
638
00:27:16,388 --> 00:27:17,597
And I knew he was right.
639
00:27:17,597 --> 00:27:19,808
JEN: Oh, that's so sweet.
- Isn't that sweet?
640
00:27:19,808 --> 00:27:22,018
- Sweet, yes. Yeah.
[adoring chatter]
641
00:27:22,018 --> 00:27:23,270
- Your turn.
642
00:27:23,270 --> 00:27:25,939
- I know, it does feel like it's my turn.
643
00:27:25,939 --> 00:27:28,567
- No, I-I meant bowling,
and I, and I was talkin' to Jen,
644
00:27:28,567 --> 00:27:31,152
but mazel, Bethy, mazel.
Is he gonna convert?
645
00:27:31,152 --> 00:27:33,530
I hope he's gonna convert
because we're running out of Jews.
646
00:27:33,530 --> 00:27:36,408
- So, tell us,
where did you go to dinner?
647
00:27:36,408 --> 00:27:38,326
♪
648
00:27:38,326 --> 00:27:40,745
- There are only 15 million Jews left.
649
00:27:40,745 --> 00:27:43,081
We r-really need to build up our numbers.
650
00:27:43,081 --> 00:27:46,334
It's never been a better time
to convert, uh, historically.
651
00:27:46,334 --> 00:27:48,545
I mean, and, and there've
been much worse times.
652
00:27:48,545 --> 00:27:51,548
And I feel like the kibbutz situation
would be right up your alley.
653
00:27:51,548 --> 00:27:52,966
[bowling balls rattling]
654
00:27:52,966 --> 00:27:56,011
BETH:
Actually, this amazing restaurant.
655
00:27:58,054 --> 00:27:59,848
[pins clatter]
[screams]
656
00:27:59,848 --> 00:28:00,974
- I got a strike! Oh, my God!
657
00:28:00,974 --> 00:28:02,684
Nobody saw, I got a strike! Whoa!
658
00:28:02,684 --> 00:28:03,894
[thud]
Ow.
659
00:28:03,894 --> 00:28:06,521
- Oh, my God, Jenny!
JEN: Oh, my God. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
660
00:28:06,521 --> 00:28:09,441
[overlapping concerned chatter]
661
00:28:09,441 --> 00:28:11,359
It really, really hurts.
It really, really hurts.
662
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,945
- Where does it hurt?
- It really hurts!
663
00:28:13,945 --> 00:28:16,072
- Alright.
I think I'm gonna commit to this one.
664
00:28:16,072 --> 00:28:18,825
Will you hold that? I have to pee.
Jen fall down?
665
00:28:18,825 --> 00:28:21,995
JEN: I can't, I can't. It hurts.
JESS: Jenny, you gotta stop.
666
00:28:21,995 --> 00:28:23,997
JEN: Oh, but it hurts!
I don't know what you want me to do.
667
00:28:23,997 --> 00:28:26,041
♪ Listen to the Band
by The Monkees playing ♪
668
00:28:26,041 --> 00:28:29,628
♪ Hey, hey, mercy woman plays a song ♪
669
00:28:29,628 --> 00:28:31,046
♪ And no one listens ♪
670
00:28:31,046 --> 00:28:34,591
♪ I need help, I'm falling again ♪
671
00:28:36,384 --> 00:28:39,012
♪ Play the drum a little louder ♪
672
00:28:39,012 --> 00:28:41,848
♪ Tell me I can live without her ♪
673
00:28:41,848 --> 00:28:45,602
♪ If I only listen to the band ♪
674
00:28:45,602 --> 00:28:46,937
♪ Listen to the band ♪
675
00:28:54,653 --> 00:28:57,113
♪ Weren't they good,
they made me happy ♪
676
00:28:57,113 --> 00:29:00,617
♪ I think I can make it alone ♪
677
00:29:00,617 --> 00:29:03,578
♪ Oh, mercy, woman plays a song ♪
678
00:29:03,578 --> 00:29:05,080
♪ And no one listens ♪
679
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:09,459
♪ I need help, I'm falling again ♪
680
00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:10,961
♪ Listen to the band ♪
681
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:21,221
♪ Now weren't they good,
they made me happy ♪
682
00:29:21,221 --> 00:29:25,100
♪ I think I can make it alone ♪
683
00:29:26,810 --> 00:29:28,645
- It's so easy.
684
00:29:28,695 --> 00:29:33,245
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