Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,480
Tra la la la!
2
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:44,040
Good morning, Mrs Miggins.
Bonjour, monsieur! What?
3
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,840
Bonjour, monsieur! It's French.
4
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:54,320
So is eating frogs, cruelty to
geese and urinating in the street.
No reason to copy them.
5
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:59,200
French is all the fashion!
My shop is FULL of Frenchies.
6
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,240
It's that WONDERFUL
Scarlet Pimpernel!
7
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,280
The Scarlet Pimpernel
is NOT wonderful.
8
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:12,360
He has filled London with a load
of garlic-chewing French toffs
9
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:17,800
crying, "Ooh-la-la!" because their
fathers had their heads cut off!
10
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:23,280
Shepherd's pie, please.
We don't serve PIES any more.
11
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:27,320
My French clientele
consider PIES uncouth.
12
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:32,840
A nation that eats snails and would
go to bed with the kitchen sink
13
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:38,720
is in no position to preach
couthness! What IS on the menu?
14
00:01:38,759 --> 00:01:43,840
Chicken Pimpernel in Scarlet sauce,
Scarlet Chicken in Pimpernel sauce,
15
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,880
or huge suspicious-looking sausages
in Scarlet Pimpernel sauce.
16
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:54,680
What's Scarlet Pimpernel sauce?
You squeeze a large, ripe frog...
17
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,720
Yes, all right. I'm off to the pub.
18
00:01:57,759 --> 00:02:00,720
Bonjour, monsieur! Sod off.
19
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,880
MIAOW!!
20
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,400
Poor Mildred the cat!
What's he ever done to you?
21
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:19,960
The abused always kick downwards.
I kick the cat, the cat...
SQUEAK! ..pounces on the mouse,
22
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,480
finally the mouse... Aaagh!
..bites you on the behind.
23
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,520
What do I do? Nothing.
24
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:32,920
Unless there's an earwig around
that you'd like to victimise.
25
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,000
What's that on your nose? Nice, eh?
26
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,680
No, it isn't. It's revolting.
27
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:43,800
I'll take it off then.
Why are you wearing a false BOIL?!
28
00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:50,880
What are we to expect next?
A beauty wart? A cosmetic verruca?
29
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,680
It's a Scarlet Pimple, sir. Really?
30
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,520
They're all the rage down our way.
31
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:02,600
Everyone wants to revere the Pimple
and his brilliant disguises.
32
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:09,480
# They seek him here,
they seek him there, the Frenchies
seek him everywhere... #
33
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,480
What's that revolting garlic smell?
All this fellow has done
34
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:21,960
is pop over to France to grab
a few malnourished, whingeing,
leftist French nobs,
35
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:29,000
picking up some good cheap wine
at the same time
and MARVELLOUS open fruit flans!
36
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,720
We HATE the French! Did our men
die in vain at Agincourt?
37
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:40,760
Was the man who burnt Joan of Arc
simply wasting matches?
38
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:46,800
BELL RINGS
His Royal Highness,
the Pinhead of Wales summons.
39
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,840
Utter chump though he may be,
at least he's not French.
40
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,640
Une toast! Encore une toast!
41
00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:01,000
Le Pimpernel Scarlet!
Le Pimpernel Scarlet!
42
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,000
Ah! Le Adder Noir! Come in!
43
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:14,120
This is my butler, you chaps.
Brighter than a brain pie.
44
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,640
We want to know
who the Scarlet Pimpernel is,
45
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,760
so we can send him a postal order.
Any ideas?
46
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:27,280
Just send it to
"The Biggest Show-off in London."
47
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:32,680
Tish and pish! Gadzooks! Milarky!
How DARE you say such a thing?
48
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:37,400
Dem me, if you're not a swine!
DEM that swine!
49
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:45,120
Sneaking aristocrats out from under
the noses of French revolutionaries
is as easy as putting on a hat.
50
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:50,520
Sink me, sir, this is treason!
The Scarlet Pimpernel is a HERO.
51
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:57,280
The revolution is orchestrated
by a ruthless band of killers!
Dem those killers!
52
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:04,680
Now for the French Embassy Ball
in honour of the exiled aristocracy.
53
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:09,720
Where I intend to wear the most
magnificent pair of trousers,
54
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:16,960
from Snibcock and Turkey,
Couturiers to the Very Wealthy
and the Extremely Fat.
55
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:24,000
I don't want to get caught out
wearing boring trousers.
Dem those boring trousers!
56
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,040
We bet your butler 1,000 guineas
that he can't go to France,
57
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:34,440
rescue an aristocrat
and present him at the ball.
58
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:35,920
Ha!
59
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:43,680
That's turned you white, hasn't it?
You lily-livered, caramel-kidneyed,
custard-coloured cad!
60
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,760
Not so buoyant now, are you, eh?
Eh?
61
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,800
I'll just go and pack.
62
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:55,600
Perhaps Lord Smedley
and Lord Topper will accompany me?
63
00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:01,040
Just the odd death-defying leap
and dental torture. Want to come?
64
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:05,080
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Dem!
Dem!
65
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,640
I've an appointment
with my doctor.
66
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:15,680
I've a sniffle coming on,
I can feel it in my bones.
Dem bones! Dem bones!
67
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:21,160
What about next week? Come on,
get your diaries out, chaps.
68
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,680
Dem!
Dem!
I've left it behind!
Behind!
69
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:31,720
And my father died. I've got to be
at his funeral in 10 minutes.
Dem sorry!
70
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,240
Goodbye, your Highness!
71
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:41,520
Oh, dem! I'm the best man.
Dem that dead father!
Dem him! Goodbye.
72
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,040
See you at the ball.
73
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:50,200
Shame they were busy. I'd have
liked them to come with us. Us?
74
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:54,520
Yes. You're coming? Yes! Ah.
75
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:59,600
Nothing I could say about the
horrors involved could put you off?
76
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:05,560
Oh, no. Let's pack! Just think
of those fabulous French birds!
77
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:11,800
The only women in France
are toothless crones
who cackle insanely.
78
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,000
They're just playing hard to get.
79
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:20,560
By removing all their teeth,
going mad and ageing 40 years?!
80
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:26,840
That's right, the little teasers!
Go on, pack my silks and satins.
81
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:33,880
If we are to survive in France,
we'll have to dress as
the smelliest low-life imaginable.
82
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:38,400
Like what?
This is our Paris collection...
83
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:45,440
Baldrick is wearing
a sheep's bladder jacket, with
matching dung-ball accessories.
84
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,640
Hair by Crazy Meg of Bedlam Hair.
85
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:55,840
Notice how the aroma of rotting
pilchards has been woven cunningly
into the ensemble.
86
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,600
When do you change your trousers?
87
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:04,640
I've never changed my trousers.
There is an ancient Greek legend
88
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:09,800
of a terrible container in which
were all the evils of the world.
89
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:16,960
when of course, they meant
They called it "Pandora's Box",
"Baldrick's Trousers".
90
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,000
They certainly can get
a bit whiffy!
91
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:26,720
When the box was opened,
the whole world turned to darkness.
92
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:33,840
Baldrick, for the good of mankind,
NEVER allow curiosity to lead you
to open your trousers.
93
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,880
NOTHING of interest lies therein.
94
00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:43,840
Your Highness, it is trousers like
these that YOU will have to wear.
95
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,760
Yes, well...
96
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,000
I might give it a miss.
My tummy's playing up.
97
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,800
Wish wish I could come, but just
not poss with this tum. I see.
98
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:03,440
And the chances of me scoring
if I look like him are zero.
That's true.
99
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:09,560
Mr B, I've got second thoughts
about this trip to France. Why?
100
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:14,880
Looking like this, there's not
much chance of ME scoring either.
101
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:23,720
Well, this is it.
If I don't make it back, tell
my mother I was alive all the time.
102
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,920
I never kept in touch
with the old bat.
103
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,360
Of course, old man.
104
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:35,760
We must go. The shadows lengthen
and we'll have an arduous journey.
105
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,320
Farewell, dear master,
and dare I say...friend?
106
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:46,360
Farewell, brave liberator,
and dare I say it...butler?
107
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,080
Right, put the kettle on. What?!
108
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,960
It's too dangerous to go to France!
109
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:02,880
How are you going to win your bet?
By using the thing between my ears.
110
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,800
Oh, your nose.
111
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,480
No, Baldrick, my brain.
112
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:16,520
We lie low here for a week,
then go to Mrs Miggins',
pick up a French aristocrat,
113
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:21,880
and claim our 1,000 guineas at the
ball. What if the Prince finds us?
114
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,920
He can't find his own fly-buttons.
115
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,560
What a pair of TROUSERS !!
116
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:34,000
I shall be the belle
of the Embassy ball!
117
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,040
Now, how do you put them on...?
Blackadder!
118
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:43,560
Oh, damn! He's gone to France.
Well, I'll do it myself. Um...
119
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:53,160
What a pleasant week, Baldrick.
We must do this more often.
120
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:58,320
Yes. I'll certainly choose France
for my holiday again next year.
121
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:04,360
Now, work. Off to Mrs Miggins'
to pick up any old French toff.
122
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,920
LOUD BANGING UPSTAIRS
What's that?
123
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:13,720
The Prince is still trying
to put his trousers on.
124
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,480
Damn!
125
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:25,480
Now, Mrs Miggins, I'd like a plate
of pigs' trotters, frogs' legs,
and snails' ears, please,
126
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,440
all with Scarlet Pimpernel sauce.
127
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,880
Not so hostile to the Frenchies now?
128
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:36,560
Oh, no. I'd sooner be hostile
to my own servant.
129
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,720
In fact, I came here
to meet some Frenchies.
130
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,880
Vive to that and an eclair for all!
131
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:49,000
Vive indeed. Now I'm looking for
a particular kind of Frenchie:
132
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,560
one who is of noble blood,
but also short on cash.
133
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,960
THERE'S just the fellow for you.
134
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,720
The Compte de Frou Frou. >
Pretty down on his luck,
135
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:07,240
and he's made that horse's willy
last all morning.
136
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,920
Baldrick, we have struck garlic!
137
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,040
You can have some lunch, Baldrick.
Thank you.
138
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:22,280
Le Compte de Frou Frou, I believe?
Yes.
139
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,920
Do you speak English? A leettle.
140
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:33,240
What does that mean? Do we have
to ask each other the way
to the beach in very loud voices?
141
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:37,440
Oh, no. I can order coffee,
deal with waiters,
142
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,920
and make sexy chit-chat with girls.
Oh, good.
143
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:47,440
Just don't ask me to take
a physiology class. I won't.
144
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,240
Would you like to earn some money?
145
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:59,200
No. I would like other people
to earn it and then GEEVE it to me.
Like in France in the good old days.
146
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:05,720
This is a chance
to RETURN to the good old days.
Oh, I would LOVE that.
147
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:11,240
The food is filthy here! This huge
sausage is VERY suspicious!
148
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:18,280
If I didn't know better, I'd say
it was a horse's... Yes, yes, yes.
The plan is this...
149
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:24,720
I'm trying to get
a Frenchman out of Paris.
Will YOU be that Frenchman?
150
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:29,360
Just come to the Embassy with me,
say I rescued you,
151
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:35,000
and you'll get 50 guineas and
as many vol-au-vents as you like.
152
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:42,120
It will be a pleasure!
If there's one thing we aristocrats
enjoy, it's a fabulous party!
153
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,760
Oh, the music! Oh, the laughter...!
154
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,240
If only I had my mongoose costume!
155
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,920
Well, obviously it hasn't
really got going yet.
156
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:02,880
I've been at autopsies
with more party atmosphere.
157
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:07,480
Don't worry. We will soon hear
music and laughter.
158
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:12,680
DRAMATIC MUSIC
THEN A HARSH, CRUEL LAUGH...
159
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:18,040
Bonsoir, m'sieur.
Good evening. Do you speak English?
160
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:23,080
Leetle. Good. Then take me
to the Ambassador. Pardon?
161
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:28,280
I - have - rescued
an aristocrat...
162
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:32,360
from the clutches
of the evil revolutionaries.
163
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,440
Please take me to the AMBASSADOR.
164
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,240
No - I - won't!
165
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,040
I AM an eveel revolutionary,
166
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,640
and have MURDERED the Ambassador,
167
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,760
and have turned him into...
168
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,840
pate!
169
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,000
Ah.
170
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,400
And YOU, aristo peeg, are TRAPPED !
171
00:14:55,440 --> 00:15:00,440
Peeg? Ha! You will regret
your insolence, revolutionary DOG !
172
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:06,520
Dog? Ha! You will regret
your arrogance, royalist SNAKE !
Snake? Ha...!
173
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:12,560
This is none of my business,
so I must be on my way. Ah ah ah!
174
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,080
Not so fast, Engleesh!
175
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:20,000
In rescuing this, er...
'boite de stinkeeweed',
176
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:24,080
you have perverted
revolutionary justice.
177
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:28,120
Do you know what I do to people
who do that?
178
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:35,000
They're given a little present
and let free? No.
They're smacked and then let off?
179
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:42,720
No. I know. What?
They're put in prison for the night
and guillotined in the morning.
180
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:47,520
Your little G-NOME is correct,
monsieur.
181
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:52,040
Gentlemen, welcome to the last day
of your LIFE !
182
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,120
How dare you, you feelthy weasel!
183
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,400
Weasel? Ha! You can talk, WARTHOG !
184
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,440
Warthog? Ha! Excuse me, Frou Frou.
185
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:08,600
Look, me old mate...
we're both working class,
we both hate these rich bastards.
186
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,640
Come on, you've nothing against me.
187
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,680
On the contraree,
I hate you Engleesh,
188
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:23,560
with your boring trousers and your
shiny toilet paper, and your idea
that Frenchman are great lovers!
189
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,880
I'M French and I'm hung like a baby
carrot and a couple of petit pois!
190
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:36,080
Farewell, and DEATH to the aristos!
Death to the aristos! Shut up!
191
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:45,200
Monsieur, why waste your words
on this scum? Have no fear,
the Scarlet Pimpernel will save us!
192
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,360
Some hope!
193
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:54,680
He's the most overrated person
since Judas Iscariot won
the AD31 Best Disciple Contest.
194
00:16:54,720 --> 00:17:00,520
Well, if he should fail us...
here...I have these suicide pills.
195
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:05,000
One for me...POP !
One for you...POP !
196
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,560
and one for the dwarf...GLUG !
197
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:12,079
Say thank you,
Baldrick. Thank you, Mr Frou.
198
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,440
Ah! The Pimpernel!
Hurray!
199
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,720
No, the Ambassador, hurray.
200
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:25,200
Hmm, I've got nothing to do...
201
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,400
so I think I will torture...
202
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,440
YOU, aristo mongrel!
203
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,480
Mongrel? Ha!
Go ahead, proletarian SKUNK !
204
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:39,040
Skunk? Ha!
You aristo happypotomus!
205
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,800
Happypotomus? Ha! We'll see...
206
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:48,160
I'm glad to say
I don't think you'll be needing
those pills, Mr B.
207
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,760
Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick,
or are the words, "I have a plan"
208
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,800
marching into this conversation?
209
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:03,840
They certainly are!
Your record in this department
is not exactly 100%.
210
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,880
So what's the plan?
We do NOTHING.
211
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,520
Yep, it's another world-beater.
212
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,400
Wait, I haven't finished.
213
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:19,040
We do nothing until...our heads
have actually been cut off.
214
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,000
And then we spring into action?
215
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:31,000
Exactly! You know how when you cut
a chicken's head off, it runs
round the farmyard? Ye-es...?
216
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:36,520
Well, when OUR heads have been cut
off, we run round the farmyard,
217
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:41,080
out the farm gate and escape.
What do you think?
218
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:46,480
My opinion is difficult to express
in words. I'll put it this way...
219
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,760
Well, the Scarlet Pimpernel
will save us, anyway.
220
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:57,000
No, he won't! Either I think
of an idea, or tomorrow we die...
221
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:02,440
which I have no intention of doing.
I want to be young and wild,
222
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:07,640
then middle-aged and rich,
then old and pretending to be deaf.
223
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,000
Just be quiet and let me think.
224
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:18,520
I can't sleep, Mr Blackadder.
I said, shut UP !
225
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:24,000
Just think, the Scarlet Pimpernel
will be here any moment!
226
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,760
I wish you'd forget this fantasy.
227
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:34,360
Anyway, the guards would be woken
by the noise as he squeezes
his swollen head through the door.
228
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:41,400
I couldn't sleep when I was little.
You still are little.
Well, when I was even littler.
229
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,440
We used to live in a haunted hovel.
230
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:50,000
Every night my family were
troubled by this disgusting ghoul.
231
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,720
It was terrible.
First there was this unholy smell,
232
00:19:54,760 --> 00:20:01,760
then this tiny, clammy,
hairy creature would materialise
in the bed between them.
233
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,000
Fortunately, I could never see it.
234
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:12,320
left home, did this repulsive
Tell me, Baldrick, when you
entity mysteriously disappear?
235
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:18,000
Yes, that very day. Then that
mystery is solved. Now, shut up.
236
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:25,600
I must THINK, or tomorrow we meet
our Maker...in my case, God;
in your case, God knows.
237
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:30,520
But I'd be surprised
if He's won any design awards.
238
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,560
Ah! I've thought of a plan. Hurray!
239
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:38,720
Also, I know how to get you
to sleep... BOOTS HIM
Owf!
240
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,920
Good morning, scum.
Did you sleep well?
241
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:49,760
Like a top. And you must be thirsty
after your long night's brutality.
242
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,560
A drink? No. Not while I'm on duty.
243
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,600
Oh... Perhaps later?
244
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,640
For you, m'sieur, there is no later.
245
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:05,280
Gentleman, I am proud to introduce
France's most veecious woman...
246
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:11,160
Will you please welcome...
Madame Guillotine herself!!
247
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,360
TERRIBLE SHRIEKING LAUGHTER
248
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,760
Are these the Engleesh PEEGS ?!
249
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,800
Yes, that's us.
Leave them with me!
250
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:31,840
I intend to torture them in a way
so GHASTLY, even YOU won't be
able to stand it!
251
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,000
I'll be all right.
No, you will be SICK !
252
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:41,040
What if I just leave
if I feel queasy?
You will be sick immediately!
253
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:46,080
What if I'm sick quietly in a bag?
What is in your mind?
254
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,600
WHISPERS
255
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,080
SO...scum...
256
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:58,680
prepare to be in PA-A-AIN !!
257
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:04,160
Yes, certainly. But first,
perhaps, a toast to your beauty.
258
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,840
Oh, thank you! OK!
259
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:16,440
So you were expecting
to be rescued, ha? Some bloody hope!
260
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:22,000
ENGLISH ACCENT:
On the contrary,
I'm sorry I'm so late! What?!
261
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,800
Yes, I have come to free you!
Hooray!
262
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,680
Smedley! I thought you were thick!
263
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:36,000
No. Just a dem fine actor!
Thank God I got here before you took
any of those awful suicide pills!
264
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:44,680
I suppose if someone had taken one
and wished that he hadn't, he'd be
able to do something about it?
265
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:50,000
No, they're very odd things.
The symptoms are most peculiar.
266
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:54,560
First of all, the victims
become very depressed...
267
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:59,080
Oh, God...! This whole revolution
is SO depressing!
268
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,400
And I'm SO lonely
and nobody loves me.
269
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:09,440
Then comes death? No! Then comes
the loss of temper, you BASTARD !
270
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,800
What are YOU staring at?! Ooh!
271
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,120
And THEN death?
272
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:20,480
No! After the temper,
comes the um...er...
273
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:25,520
Forgetfulness? That's it.
The, er... Forgetfulness.
274
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:30,880
Right in the middle of a thingy,
you completely forget what...
275
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,400
Oh, nice pair of shoes!
276
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,440
THEN you die?
277
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:40,680
Oh, no, I forgot one! Then comes
a moment of exquisite happiness!
278
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:45,920
Jumping up and down, waving your
arms, knowing that we'll be FREE !
279
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,120
Free! FREE ! And then death?
280
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,160
No, you jump in a corner first...
281
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:59,120
Hurray! It's the Scarlet Pimpernel!
Yes, Baldrick. And you killed him!
282
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:04,480
Yes, Baldrick. What's the point
of being the Scarlet Pimpernel
283
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,680
if you fall for the poison routine?
284
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,040
Scarlet Pimpernel?! Scarlet GIT!!
285
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:19,240
But here's our chance to escape.
What about Mr Frou? I wouldn't
pick my nose to save Frou Frou!
286
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:25,440
Oh... Ah, Frou Frou, my old friend!
What are you doing here? I escaped.
287
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,400
What happened? Er, nothing.
288
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:35,400
I thought the Scarlet Pimpernel
might have saved you.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
289
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,680
Ah, chaps!
Just trying on my new trousers!
290
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:47,160
I return, sir, with one top French
aristocrat fresh from the Bastille.
291
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,920
Pleased to meet you, monsieur.
Do sit down.
292
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,200
Shame about
the revolutionary caper.
293
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,840
So, how did you get him out?
294
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:03,600
Sir, it is a heroic tale of courage
which I hesitate to tell myself...
295
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,720
I could try.
296
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:12,960
We left England in good weather,
but in Dover Harbour,
we were struck by a tidal wave,
297
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:18,200
and I swam to Boulogne
with Baldrick in my trousers.
298
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,600
Then we were taken to Paris,
299
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:27,440
where I was hung by my testicles
to the walls of the Bastille.
300
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,800
Then I decided I'd had enough.
301
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,800
Bravo!
302
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,280
So I rescued the Compte, killed
the guards, ran to Versailles,
303
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:44,320
where I climbed into Robespierre's
bedroom, leaving him a small tray
of milk chocolates and a rude note.
304
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,960
The rest...was easy.
305
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,600
An incredible story!
Worthy of the Scarlet Pimpernel!
306
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,640
Well, I wouldn't know...
307
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,840
I, on the other hand, would,
because, you see, sir...
308
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,440
I am the Scarlet Pimpernel!
309
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,200
Oh-oh...
310
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,240
Good Lord! Topper!
Yes, your Highness.
311
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:21,280
But egads, by jingo with dumplings
and a good helping of sprouts!
312
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,760
You single-handedly saved
all those Frenchies?!
313
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:31,000
Not quite single-handedly, sir.
I operate with my friend, Smedley.
314
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:36,120
But he seems to have disappeared,
slightly mysteriously.
315
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,000
(Shut up! Yes, Mr Blackadder.)
316
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:43,040
So Blackadder rescued
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
317
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,560
No, sir. He did not. Eh?
318
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:51,600
Prepare yourself
for a story of deceit
that will make your stomach turn.
319
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,560
Oh, this is interesting, isn't it?
320
00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:04,240
Not only that, but I trust it will
lead to the imprisonment of a man
who is a liar, a bounder and a cad.
321
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:11,040
We hate liars, bounders and cads,
don't we?
322
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,680
Generally speaking, yes, sir.
323
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:21,680
But perhaps before Lord Topper
talks, he might like some wine?
He's looking shaken.
324
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,240
Shaken, but not stirred.
325
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:31,240
It all began last week. I was
in Mrs Miggins' coffee shop when...
326
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,200
Oh, GOD...!
327
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,880
All this treachery
is SO depressing!
328
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:44,680
The whole thing makes you incredibly
ANGRY !! It makes you want to...
329
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,160
Nice waistcoat, your Majesty.
330
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,760
Er, sorry, I've forgotten
what I was talking about...
331
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,320
A story of dishonour and deceit.
332
00:27:55,360 --> 00:28:00,600
Oh, yes, that's a GREAT story!
Great! A WONDERFUL story!
333
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,040
Let me jump into this corner first.
334
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:12,640
Roast my raisins! He's popped it!
Do you think he really WAS
the Scarlet Pimpernel?
335
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:18,000
Judging from the ridiculous manner
of his death, I would say he was.
336
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:22,680
Shame. I wanted to give him
this enormous postal order.
337
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:27,720
Please, sir, let me finish.
I would say that he was...n't.
338
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:33,360
You see, the Scarlet Pimpernel
would NEVER reveal his identity.
339
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:38,520
So you're looking for a man who's
just rescued a French aristocrat,
340
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:45,560
but if asked,
"Are you the Scarlet Pimpernel?"
he replies, "Absolutely not!"
341
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:50,960
But, Blackadder, YOU'VE just been
to France to rescue an aristocrat!
342
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,480
Oh, Blackadder,
are YOU the Scarlet Pimpernel?
343
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,240
Absolutely NOT, sir.
344
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,080
Hooray!
345
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,280
Subtitles by Gillian Spence,
31352
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof