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Bitterman, stop the car. Stop-- Stop the car. Girls, girls, g--
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Hello, girls!
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Would the more attractive of you please step forward?
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God, that's funny.
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No, actually-- Actually, you're both very attractive.
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Would--? Would the one who thinks I'm attractive please step forward?
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- Quickly as possible. Time is money. - What'd you have in mind?
9
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Uh, VD. I'm really into penicillin.
10
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Now, that's funny.
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Ahem. Actually, what I had in mind...
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...was spending the evening with a stranger who loves me.
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It's gonna cost you $100.
14
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Oh, yeah? What time do you get off work?
15
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No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
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Let's make it $200. But I will ask you to Simoniz my car.
17
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Tell me, has there been a death in your family?
18
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This is funny stuff here.
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- Mm. - Let's go.
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Bitterman, give her fr--
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Give her friend $100. She came in second.
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- Who is that guy? - I'd rather not say.
23
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I think I know who it is. I saw his picture in the paper.
24
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- That's Arthur Bach, isn't it? - What if it is?
25
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Is there something wrong with him?
26
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Yes.
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Permit me to introduce myself.
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Where in the hell's my hat?
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- It's on the floor. - Oh, I hate it when that happens.
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- I am Arthur. - I'm Gloria.
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- I am Arthur. - Yeah. What're you drinking?
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- Scotch. Would you like some? - Why not?
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You're with me, and you can ask that question?
34
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Oh. Ha-ha-ha!
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- What's so funny now? - I sometimes just think funny things.
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- What do you do for a living? - Oh.
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I race cars. I play tennis. I fondle women.
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But I have weekends off, and I am my own boss.
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- Bitterman, the Plaza, and step on it. - Ha, ha. Ooh.
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- Sir, if I may say so-- - Bitterman, go through the park.
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You know how I love the park.
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- Can I have another drink? - Yes!
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Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have?
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Don't you wish you were me?
45
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I know I do.
46
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Ow!
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Isn't that Arthur Bach?
48
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I fell out of the goddamned car.
49
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Is that the funniest thing ever?
50
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- Are you hurt, sir? - Bitterman, I fell out of the car.
51
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Isn't that the funniest thing ever?
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- You had to be there, right? Yeah. - You are quite amusing, sir.
53
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Please get my drink. After all, we're going to the bar.
54
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Thank you so much.
55
00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,840
Madame, I am sorry, but we have absolutely--
56
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- Don't give me any stuff, buster. - Oh, listen, Raymond, Raymond.
57
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- It's all right. The lady's with me. - Oh.
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- Mr. Bach. How good to see you. - Yes.
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Oh, if only someone I knew felt that way.
60
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We have your regular table, Mr. Bach.
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Oh, I know you have it, but is anyone sitting at it?
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"Is anyone sitting at it?"
63
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Yeah, now, it's all right. They're used to seeing me with the turtle.
64
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Ah. Oh!
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- Uncle Peter. And Aunt Pearl. - Arthur. You're looking well.
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Thank you. Oh.
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Aunt Pearl, may I say you're looking younger every day?
68
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Doesn't Aunt Pearl look wonderful, darling?
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She looks great.
70
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Arthur, I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting this young woman.
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- Would you introduce us? - Oh, how stupid of me. Uh...
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...Princess Gloria, may I introduce my aunt and uncle...
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...Peter and Pearl Bach.
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- How are you? - Princess?
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- Did you say "princess," Arthur? - Yes. Yes.
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There's a very small country in the West Indies. I mean small.
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I see. Thank you.
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Yeah.
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It's-- It's terribly small. Tiny little country.
80
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Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war.
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- That's how small it is. - Small.
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Very little.
83
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It's 85 cents in a cab from one end of the country to the other.
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- I'm talking small. - We understand it's small, Arthur.
85
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They recently had the whole country carpeted.
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- This is not a big place. - We understand that it's small, Arthur.
87
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:32,537
And we also understand that you are very drunk.
88
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So why don't we meet again when you're sober?
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Yeah. All right. Yeah.
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Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't help it.
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Grow up, Arthur. You'll make a fine adult.
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Yeah, that's easy for you to say. You haven't got 50 pairs of short pants...
93
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...hanging in your closet. Ha-ha-ha!
94
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Oh, it's the regular table? Wait a minute. Regular chair.
95
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So...
96
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...how rich are you?
97
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All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
98
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,664
The service here is terrible. Where the hell's my drink?
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- We just ordered. - That's always their excuse.
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Engine room, where the hell's my drink?
101
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- Are you married? - There's only one woman for me.
102
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And I can't stand her.
103
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Her name is Susan.
104
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I can't tell you her last name, because that would be indiscreet.
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Johnson.
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Susan Johnson.
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My father wants me to marry her, but I'm not going to.
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You're the only woman at this table.
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Oh, sure, you bring her a bottle. Me, you bring a glass.
110
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- Fine. Thank you very much. Ha-ha-ha.
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Aren't waiters wonderful?
112
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You ask them for things, and they bring them.
113
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Same principle as Santa Claus.
114
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Well, tell me about yourself.
115
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You mean, why I'm a hooker?
116
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Are you a hooker?
117
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Jesus, I forgot. I just thought I was doing great with you.
118
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Okay. Why are you a hooker?
119
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My mother died when I was 6.
120
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Son of a bitch.
121
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Why--? Don't they know what they do to kids?
122
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My father raped me when I was 12.
123
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So you had six relatively good years.
124
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Oh, I'm sorry.
125
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Yeah, listen, my father screwed me too.
126
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- Do you like me? - You're cute.
127
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I know that.
128
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But do you like me?
129
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Oh, yeah.
130
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Well, princess, we're gonna have fun.
131
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Tonight is New Year's Eve. Third time this week.
132
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Here's to you.
133
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Noisy.
134
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Hello, darling.
135
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Good morning.
136
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Did you sleep well?
137
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- Fine. - Good.
138
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:33,444
- Please stop that. - Hobson, how good to see you.
139
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- Thank you so much. - Not at all.
140
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I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition...
141
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...and I have brought you orange juice, coffee and aspirins.
142
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Or do you need to throw up?
143
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No. No.
144
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Gloria, I would like you to meet Hobson...
145
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...my best friend in the world.
146
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I relish the compliment.
147
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It is thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
148
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- Hi. - Yes.
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You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria.
150
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I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
151
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:24,745
Yes. As we can all see, it's a lovely day...
152
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...which would seem to indicate that the night is over.
153
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Gloria, I have arranged breakfast for you on the east patio.
154
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This is a robe. Please put it on.
155
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Say goodbye to her, Arthur.
156
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:02,450
- Hobson? - Yes?
157
00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:07,538
- Do you know what I'm gonna do? - No, I don't.
158
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I'm gonna take a bath.
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I'll alert the media.
160
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Do you want to run my bath for me?
161
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It's what I live for.
162
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Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you...
163
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...you little shit.
164
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You'd better watch outYou'd better not cry
165
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You'd better not pout--
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Aah!
167
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I'm telling you why
168
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Santa Claus is coming to town
169
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,967
Mm.
170
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- Yes? - Hobson, this is Arthur.
171
00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:11,519
- Yes. How delightful to hear from you. - How about a pitcher of martinis?
172
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:12,728
No, thank you.
173
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:16,482
Oh, Hobson, I'm not gonna face my father sober.
174
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,193
If you don't bring them, I'll have someone else do it.
175
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,487
- I'll bring them. - Thank you.
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00:14:21,654 --> 00:14:24,198
- Say goodbye. - Goodbye.
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He treats me like a kid. Pfft!
178
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He knows when you are sleeping
179
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,881
He knows when you're awake
180
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He knows when you've beenBad or good
181
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Ah.
182
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:54,436
You know, Arthur, your father is going to demand that you marry Susan.
183
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I don't care what he demands. Unh.
184
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:02,987
Oh, stay with me a minute, Hobson. You know I hate to be alone.
185
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Yes. Bathing is a lonely business.
186
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Except for fish.
187
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,497
I beg your pardon?
188
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:17,418
- Did you say "except for fish"? - Yes.
189
00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:22,590
Fish all bathe together. Although they do tend to eat one another.
190
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:26,885
I often think, fish must get awfully tired of seafood.
191
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,512
What are your thoughts, Hobson?
192
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,681
Pardon me.
193
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:44,111
Arthur, I don't want you to be alone.
194
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I'll never be alone. I have you.
195
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,284
God, isn't life wonderful, Hobson?
196
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:56,040
- Yes, Arthur, it is. Do your armpits. - A hot bath is wonderful.
197
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,167
Girls are wonderful.
198
00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:01,879
Yes. Imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be.
199
00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,213
Get dressed.
200
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,018
I hate it here.
201
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,563
Of course you hate it. People work here.
202
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:24,234
Here, read this magazine. There are many pictures.
203
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,153
Look how nobody ever smiles here.
204
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:31,200
- Why doesn't anybody ever smile here? - They smile at lunchtime.
205
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:36,080
Lower your voice, Arthur, and sit up.
206
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,418
Stop being so nervous.
207
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,047
Later on, we'll get ice cream.
208
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:51,512
Mr. Bach, your father will see you now.
209
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,555
Thank you.
210
00:16:56,058 --> 00:17:00,437
- Come on, Hobson. - He wants to see you alone.
211
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,816
Oh.
212
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,197
He gets all that money.
213
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,660
Pays his family back by being a stinking drunk.
214
00:17:15,411 --> 00:17:17,037
It's enough to make you sick.
215
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:20,499
I really wouldn't know, sir. I'm just a servant.
216
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:23,293
- Yeah. - On the other hand...
217
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,587
...go screw yourself.
218
00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:29,550
Hello.
219
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:34,096
The press has a good time with you, Arthur.
220
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:40,811
- "Millionaire drunk playboy." Mm-hm.
221
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:45,399
You're the weakest man I've ever known.
222
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:48,193
I despise your weakness.
223
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,070
Arthur...
224
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,574
...I'm afraid we have to talk.
225
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:59,288
I'm not gonna marry her. I've told you that a thousand times.
226
00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:04,042
Fine. If that's your decision, Arthur, the family has no choice.
227
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:10,883
I'm sorry, Arthur, very sorry, but as of this moment, you are cut off.
228
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,427
You mean cut off from...
229
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,387
...you and Grandmother and the family?
230
00:18:20,309 --> 00:18:22,519
So you mean cut off from the...?
231
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,313
The, um....
232
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:29,151
- You don't mean cut off from the--? - The money, Arthur.
233
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:35,574
Your grandmother and I have had all the papers drawn up.
234
00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:39,620
We want this marriage, Arthur. I want it. Burt Johnson wants it.
235
00:18:39,787 --> 00:18:43,081
Burt Johnson? He's a criminal.
236
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,626
Oh, we all are, Arthur.
237
00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:48,086
And as you know...
238
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,964
...we usually get what we want.
239
00:18:51,799 --> 00:18:54,468
Well, frankly, Father, I'd rather starve.
240
00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:58,889
And I will. I'll get married when I fall in love with somebody.
241
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,891
Fine. I respect your integrity.
242
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:04,102
You've just lost 750 million dollars.
243
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:09,066
- Actually, Susan is a very nice girl. - Very nice.
244
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:13,695
- And she'll make a wonderful wife. - Yes, wonderful.
245
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,282
Have you ever seen her face...
246
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:23,163
...when the light catches it just right? She's really quite beautiful.
247
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:26,166
Of course, you can't depend on that light.
248
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,961
The wedding is a month from today.
249
00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:33,966
- The invitations will be mailed tonight. - And have you ever tasted her chicken?
250
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:40,222
Whoo. She does spectacular things with a chicken.
251
00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:44,268
- And I love a chicken made at home. - Arthur.
252
00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:48,772
This is the ring your grandfather gave to your grandmother.
253
00:19:48,939 --> 00:19:50,732
She wants you to give it to Susan.
254
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,112
This is to marry one girl?
255
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:59,950
- Please don't do this to me, Father. - I've been waiting for you to grow up.
256
00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:02,452
I can't wait any longer.
257
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,122
Congratulations, Father. You win.
258
00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:08,000
I had every intention of winning.
259
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,043
Congratulations to you, Arthur.
260
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,921
You're going to be a wealthy man for the rest of your life.
261
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,090
That's all I've ever wanted to be.
262
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:26,268
I'll take three dozen of these shirts. Um, assorted colors.
263
00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:30,606
- I hate my father. - Then purchase four dozen.
264
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:34,693
Four dozen, please. And I want...
265
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,321
...14 of these sweaters, all green.
266
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,489
- All green? - I don't wear sweaters.
267
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,950
Send them to my address, will you?
268
00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:45,662
What else can I buy, Hobson?
269
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:57,883
- Hobson. Did you see that? - Yes.
270
00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:02,763
She stole that tie. It's a perfect crime. Girls don't wear ties.
271
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:06,016
Although some do. It's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime.
272
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:09,519
Yes. If she murdered the tie, it'd be a perfect crime.
273
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,563
Why are you so happy about all this?
274
00:21:12,773 --> 00:21:16,818
The man following her is a security guard. We've gotta be calm.
275
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,570
Isn't she beautiful? Jesus.
276
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:21,823
May I ask what have we to do with this?
277
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:06,576
Beg your pardon, miss. I'm the security guard in the store.
278
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:10,872
Yeah? Trust me, you don't need the badge. No customer would wear that jacket.
279
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:12,874
- Ah, ah, ah. Miss. - Hey. Hey.
280
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:16,586
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to look in the bag. I saw you put something in it.
281
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:23,260
You got trouble, mister. You're never gonna work on the East Coast again.
282
00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:25,929
- Okay, what's your name? Name. - She's sensational.
283
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:29,099
She does have a certain Eleanor Roosevelt quality.
284
00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,851
- What's your address? - Uh, miss....
285
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:35,272
- Give me the address! I want the address! - Look, I saw you put a tie in that bag!
286
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:37,357
- What did you say? - What's going on?
287
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,192
All right, that's it. I want a cop.
288
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,403
Somebody get me a cop. We need a cop here.
289
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:44,781
Don't you move, Chester. I don't wanna see you move out of my sight.
290
00:22:44,948 --> 00:22:48,869
- Get me a cop! Get your hands off me! - Uh, Chester. I'm Arthur Bach.
291
00:22:49,036 --> 00:22:50,245
I'll straighten this out.
292
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:53,290
Hello, Mr. Bach. You really should stay out of this.
293
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:56,251
Yeah, well, he's in it, Chester. Tell him, Alfred.
294
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:58,462
I know this woman. We were shopping together.
295
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:01,798
- Where the hell have you been? - I'm sorry, darling. I got caught up.
296
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,218
- She's a friend of yours, Mr. Bach? - He just said that, Chester.
297
00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:08,513
- You're such a schmuck, Chester. - I asked her to pick out a tie.
298
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,140
I was gonna put it on my bill.
299
00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:13,435
- And you didn't pay for it? - I know. I forgot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
300
00:23:13,602 --> 00:23:18,065
Well-- Chester, what can I say? I had no idea.
301
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:20,650
May I look at the tie?
302
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,402
Of course.
303
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:29,367
- Oh, God, that's.... That's lovely. - Hope you like it.
304
00:23:29,534 --> 00:23:31,870
You're really wonderful.
305
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,669
Not in front of all these people, dear. They might think you're an animal.
306
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:42,130
Mr. Bach, you understand it's my job.
307
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:45,258
Would you ask the lady at the counter to put this on my bill?
308
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:50,388
Oh, of course. I'll take care of it, Mr. Bach. Thank you very much. Thank you.
309
00:23:51,223 --> 00:23:53,016
Thank you, sir.
310
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:01,733
Were you scared?
311
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:04,277
Yes.
312
00:24:07,364 --> 00:24:09,866
Why are you smiling at me like that?
313
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:17,249
I see. You're a little strange, but cute. How are you?
314
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,626
Well, have a nice day. Thank you very much.
315
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:22,129
I'm gonna go to the bus stop now.
316
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,633
Why did you steal that tie?
317
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,637
I don't know. I'm a wonderful person.
318
00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:32,722
I'm serious.
319
00:24:33,181 --> 00:24:36,560
I'll be with you in a minute. He's starting to get on my nerves.
320
00:24:38,854 --> 00:24:41,398
Will you stop smiling at me like that?
321
00:24:41,565 --> 00:24:44,025
You look like one of Santa's helpers.
322
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,695
Is he with us?
323
00:24:46,862 --> 00:24:49,656
My name is Arthur, and this is Mr. Hobson.
324
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:52,075
Good afternoon.
325
00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:54,411
"Good afternoon"?
326
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:57,205
My name is Linda.
327
00:24:57,372 --> 00:25:01,209
And I'd like to thank you very much. You did a nice thing.
328
00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:04,045
That was an interesting kiss.
329
00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:08,008
- Kiss your wife like that? - I'm not married.
330
00:25:10,594 --> 00:25:17,475
Keep smiling. 688-5549. Don't expect big things on the first date.
331
00:25:17,642 --> 00:25:20,437
Yes, it's been a distinct pleasure meeting you.
332
00:25:20,604 --> 00:25:24,858
Arthur, we really must be going. Thank you for a memorable afternoon.
333
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:29,029
Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.
334
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,116
- Wouldn't it be funny if he called me? - Yes.
335
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:37,078
Arthur, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation.
336
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:41,958
Unless you're planning to knock over a fruit stand later in the evening.
337
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:43,668
Good luck in prison.
338
00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:48,673
- Who was the tie for? - A guy.
339
00:25:48,924 --> 00:25:52,010
Look how he stopped smiling. My father. It's his birthday.
340
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:53,845
What are you doing tomorrow night?
341
00:25:54,012 --> 00:25:58,183
Uh, I don't know. Oh. I have plans for tomorrow night. What should I wear?
342
00:25:58,350 --> 00:26:00,101
Steal something casual.
343
00:26:01,686 --> 00:26:04,064
- I like him. - Likewise, I'm sure.
344
00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:08,151
I'll have Bitterman drive you home. Hobson and I have got some shopping to do.
345
00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:10,487
Oh, no. You don't have to do that.
346
00:26:10,654 --> 00:26:13,657
Bitterman doesn't have to take me. Hi, Bitterman. Heh.
347
00:26:14,950 --> 00:26:19,829
You know, I really hardly ever take the bus, ever.
348
00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:22,332
- Right. - But it's just so hard to get a cab.
349
00:26:22,499 --> 00:26:24,084
Of course.
350
00:26:25,543 --> 00:26:27,462
I'm sure we know a lot of the same people.
351
00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:29,839
- Get in. - Right.
352
00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:34,010
Tell Bitterman where to take you.
353
00:26:34,177 --> 00:26:38,098
And make sure you give him your address and your phone number.
354
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:39,683
Right.
355
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:42,269
Take care of her, Bitterman.
356
00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:46,439
Good afternoon.
357
00:26:55,282 --> 00:26:57,534
You'd think they'd never seen a car before. Ha.
358
00:26:57,701 --> 00:26:59,327
Hey, lady, where'd you get the car?
359
00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:04,374
Could you children please allow us our privacy? Please?
360
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,167
- Bitterman? - Yes, madam?
361
00:27:06,334 --> 00:27:09,045
Could I just sit here until one of my neighbors walks by?
362
00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:12,048
I mean, I just want someone I know to see me get out of this.
363
00:27:12,215 --> 00:27:14,134
I understand.
364
00:27:15,176 --> 00:27:18,471
Oh, here comes Mrs. Nesbitt. This should kill her.
365
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:21,266
Well, don't touch the door. I'll do it.
366
00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:24,936
Mrs. Nesbitt deserves the entire treatment.
367
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:26,313
Right. Hurry up.
368
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:34,404
Unh. Ha, ha. Thank you, Bitterman.
369
00:27:35,238 --> 00:27:37,115
Why, hello, Mrs. Nesbitt.
370
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:40,702
- Will that be all, madam? - I think so.
371
00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:42,662
Have a nice evening, Mrs. Nesbitt.
372
00:27:48,376 --> 00:27:51,338
- Could be a big tie. - It is a tie.
373
00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:53,506
Then guessing would be out of the question.
374
00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,802
- It is a tie. - Surprise.
375
00:27:57,969 --> 00:28:00,972
Ha, ha. I love it.
376
00:28:02,891 --> 00:28:05,477
- It goes with everything I own. - Ha, ha.
377
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:09,773
I hope you like it. If I don't get a job soon, you may get it back on your birthday.
378
00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:11,441
Dad...
379
00:28:12,275 --> 00:28:13,902
...shut up.
380
00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:17,322
- A funny thing happened to me today. - Yeah?
381
00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:24,287
Do you know why girls marry so badly?
382
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:26,706
Is this a joke? Are these Polish girls?
383
00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:33,713
No. The reason is, there are so many girls...
384
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,632
...and so...
385
00:28:36,966 --> 00:28:39,386
...few princes.
386
00:28:41,429 --> 00:28:43,223
You met a prince?
387
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,184
I met a nice guy. With my help, he could become a prince.
388
00:28:46,351 --> 00:28:48,269
- Who is he? - Just a guy.
389
00:28:48,436 --> 00:28:50,230
What does he do?
390
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:53,149
Nothing.
391
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:58,738
Another beauty. How does he make a living?
392
00:28:59,864 --> 00:29:01,741
Look, I have to make dinner.
393
00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:04,577
I take it this bum will be calling you?
394
00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:09,165
Dad, he's a millionaire.
395
00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:12,001
You have my permission to marry him.
396
00:29:12,502 --> 00:29:14,045
- Roses. Yellow. - Right.
397
00:29:14,212 --> 00:29:16,965
- She'll drop dead. She'll love them. - Right.
398
00:29:17,132 --> 00:29:19,759
Uh, yellow roses. Two dozen.
399
00:29:20,969 --> 00:29:23,596
I think something else would look nice too.
400
00:29:24,514 --> 00:29:26,266
- Red roses. With the yellow. - Right.
401
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:29,686
She won't know what hit her. You'll be aces with her.
402
00:29:29,853 --> 00:29:33,189
- You're a nice boy. - Two dozen red, okay?
403
00:29:33,356 --> 00:29:36,025
- Do you know what happened? - No, I don't.
404
00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:39,529
- Yesterday, I met her outside Bergdorf's. - Good, good.
405
00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:42,365
And I can't stop thinking about her.
406
00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:45,535
- Uh, are you married? - Once. She's alive.
407
00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:49,205
- What's that? Uh.... - Yucca plant.
408
00:29:49,372 --> 00:29:51,708
- I'll take it. - How many?
409
00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:55,545
- Four. - Where were you when I was selling cars?
410
00:29:55,712 --> 00:29:59,007
How did you know when you fell in love? I mean, how does anybody know?
411
00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:00,550
- I was on a train. - Oh, yeah.
412
00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:03,636
- From Washington to New York. - What's that?
413
00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:06,222
- A fern. You need five. - Right.
414
00:30:06,389 --> 00:30:10,602
A girl got on the train. Skinny. She gave me a smile.
415
00:30:10,768 --> 00:30:13,688
- By Baltimore, I was a dead duck. - God.
416
00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:16,983
Did you whistle a lot? I mean, I find I whistle.
417
00:30:17,150 --> 00:30:18,193
I whistled.
418
00:30:20,528 --> 00:30:25,783
- Did you feel funny? I mean, I feel funny. - No. You may have a cold.
419
00:30:25,950 --> 00:30:30,872
Yeah. Listen, could you send all this, and anything else you can think of...
420
00:30:31,039 --> 00:30:32,415
...to this address?
421
00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:37,837
And send two dozen roses to your wife, the skinny one on the train.
422
00:30:38,087 --> 00:30:40,089
Here, keep the change.
423
00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:43,760
You're the rich one? The one who drinks?
424
00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:45,220
Mm.
425
00:30:45,386 --> 00:30:50,600
- How does it feel to have all that money? - Feels great.
426
00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:55,146
A dumb question.
427
00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:58,233
What do you do? I've never asked you.
428
00:30:58,399 --> 00:31:01,361
I'm an actress. I mean, I'm studying to be one. Ha, ha.
429
00:31:01,528 --> 00:31:02,612
Yeah? Great.
430
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:06,491
Yeah. But right now I'm working as a waitress. A lot of talented girls do that.
431
00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:12,789
- Yeah. What's it like being a waitress? - Well, it's fun. I mean, you know, someti--
432
00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:17,544
This guy came in and pulled out--
433
00:31:20,630 --> 00:31:22,757
- Great. Thank you. - Great.
434
00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:25,635
- Okay, what? A guy came in--? - A guy came into the diner...
435
00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:27,512
...and then pulled out--
436
00:31:36,271 --> 00:31:37,647
- Pulled out what? - Pulled out a gun.
437
00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:40,108
Oh. God.
438
00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:45,113
- Thank you. - I love this song.
439
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,323
- I love it too. - Ha-ha-ha.
440
00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:56,624
- Hey, when do I get a turn? - Shh.
441
00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:59,335
Can't you see I'm going for a new world record? Ha!
442
00:31:59,502 --> 00:32:03,715
After only 12 games, I have 80 coupons.
443
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:07,802
I knew it would be different spending an evening with a millionaire.
444
00:32:09,387 --> 00:32:15,810
Ha! Two more, and I'm 20 for 20. That's another 35 coupons. Ha, ha.
445
00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:19,314
Could we have--? Could we have a little quiet here?
446
00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:21,608
You nut.
447
00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:29,032
Look at him with his gun.
448
00:32:30,366 --> 00:32:32,452
Are you cute.
449
00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:39,417
God, I missed. Nineteen.
450
00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:45,256
- For 19, you get 15 coupons. - Ha! Ha.
451
00:32:46,049 --> 00:32:47,884
Thank you.
452
00:32:48,343 --> 00:32:51,220
We really have to go now. So....
453
00:32:55,308 --> 00:32:58,478
"Space Invaders"? Holy crap.
454
00:32:58,645 --> 00:33:01,105
All right. You win.
455
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:06,110
- What do you want, the orange one? - Yeah, yeah.
456
00:33:06,277 --> 00:33:08,988
- I love it. - Enjoy it.
457
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:11,699
- Take care of it. - Take care of it? I already named it.
458
00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:14,535
- What? - Well, I named it after my grandmother...
459
00:33:14,702 --> 00:33:16,829
- ...on my mother's side. - Oh.
460
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,665
"Arthur."
461
00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:26,381
Here's a rose. I stole it from the restroom.
462
00:33:28,758 --> 00:33:30,176
Thank you.
463
00:33:31,386 --> 00:33:33,554
I've never taken care of anyone.
464
00:33:34,389 --> 00:33:37,433
Everyone's always taken care of me.
465
00:33:38,643 --> 00:33:41,979
But if you got sick, or anything...
466
00:33:43,272 --> 00:33:44,732
...I'd take care of you.
467
00:33:45,817 --> 00:33:47,777
Then I'll get sick.
468
00:34:03,251 --> 00:34:07,255
This Vermeer just arrived today.
469
00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:13,636
It's called Woman Admiring Pearls.
470
00:34:14,387 --> 00:34:17,473
The dealer jerked me around on the price a little.
471
00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:19,642
But what the hell?
472
00:34:19,809 --> 00:34:21,978
We live once.
473
00:34:25,773 --> 00:34:27,108
Martha?
474
00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:31,571
What's the matter, Arthur?
475
00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,744
I can't marry Susan Johnson.
476
00:34:39,454 --> 00:34:42,081
- Really? - I met this girl.
477
00:34:42,248 --> 00:34:46,169
Arthur. You are a charming boy.
478
00:34:46,335 --> 00:34:51,007
Unfortunately, every time you have an erection, it makes the papers.
479
00:34:53,301 --> 00:34:57,597
Goodness. I sound like a dime novel.
480
00:34:58,431 --> 00:34:59,807
Peanuts!
481
00:35:04,854 --> 00:35:07,565
Isn't my grandson handsome, Harriet?
482
00:35:07,732 --> 00:35:10,651
- Yes. - Thank you, Harriet.
483
00:35:11,235 --> 00:35:16,282
Arthur, is it wonderful to be...
484
00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:18,826
...promiscuous?
485
00:35:20,411 --> 00:35:23,039
At your age, Martha, it might just be dangerous.
486
00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:32,215
Who is she? This one you met.
487
00:35:33,883 --> 00:35:35,635
I don't know.
488
00:35:36,135 --> 00:35:38,721
She lives in Queens. She's nobody.
489
00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:43,226
But, oh, there's something about her, Martha.
490
00:35:48,397 --> 00:35:49,941
Arthur.
491
00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:53,236
Make no mistakes.
492
00:35:53,861 --> 00:35:57,031
You are too old to be poor.
493
00:35:57,198 --> 00:35:59,742
You don't know how.
494
00:35:59,909 --> 00:36:02,620
We are ruthless people.
495
00:36:02,787 --> 00:36:05,456
Don't screw with us.
496
00:36:07,416 --> 00:36:08,751
Arthur, I love you.
497
00:36:08,918 --> 00:36:12,380
But if you don't marry Susan, I'll cut you off without a cent.
498
00:36:15,925 --> 00:36:19,512
- You're a scary old broad, Martha. - Yes.
499
00:36:19,679 --> 00:36:23,224
And you are a delightful child.
500
00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:29,313
Marry Susan and cheat with the nobody from Queens.
501
00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:40,241
- Yeah? - Oh, Linda.
502
00:36:40,408 --> 00:36:41,617
- Hi. - How are you?
503
00:36:41,784 --> 00:36:46,956
How are you? I got off work early. Listen, do you like lasagna?
504
00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:49,375
- Yeah. Um.... - Oh, thank God.
505
00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:51,794
Linda, uh...
506
00:36:51,961 --> 00:36:54,380
...I know this is last-minute...
507
00:36:55,506 --> 00:36:58,301
...but something came up. I can't make it tonight. I'm sorry.
508
00:36:58,467 --> 00:37:00,219
Fine. No problem. What?
509
00:37:00,386 --> 00:37:04,432
Linda, listen, the truth is...
510
00:37:04,599 --> 00:37:06,976
...I'm getting engaged tonight.
511
00:37:07,143 --> 00:37:09,645
The easiest thing would be to lie, but I like you--
512
00:37:09,812 --> 00:37:11,063
Look, no sweat.
513
00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:13,065
- Linda-- - We had some laughs. Good luck.
514
00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:15,359
I wanted to tell you the other night, but I--
515
00:37:15,526 --> 00:37:18,654
Don't worry about it. I really-- I have to go. Okay? Bye.
516
00:37:20,698 --> 00:37:22,283
Damn.
517
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:27,371
No, Linda.
518
00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:31,167
- Would you like a beer? - I'll be all right, sweetheart. I....
519
00:37:31,334 --> 00:37:34,045
I just have to be alone for a minute.
520
00:37:34,211 --> 00:37:37,173
Oh, God. I can't bear it.
521
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:39,717
Come in.
522
00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:44,555
Shall I get the car, Mr. Bach?
523
00:37:44,722 --> 00:37:45,973
No thanks, Bitterman.
524
00:37:46,891 --> 00:37:50,019
Tonight I'll drive myself.
525
00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:53,064
How often does a young man get engaged?
526
00:37:53,230 --> 00:37:58,319
- Where's Mr. Hobson? - Mr. Hobson was tired, sir. He's resting.
527
00:37:58,486 --> 00:38:00,696
He's been tired quite a bit lately, Bitterman.
528
00:38:00,863 --> 00:38:03,491
Oh, I'm sure he's fine, sir.
529
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:15,544
Will you cut it out?
530
00:38:16,921 --> 00:38:20,091
Well, I didn't mean to tell you, but I've got this tumor in my head.
531
00:38:20,257 --> 00:38:23,970
- Did the lights go off? - Hobson, just talk to me, okay?
532
00:38:24,136 --> 00:38:26,305
Oh, with a tumor in my head?
533
00:38:27,223 --> 00:38:29,183
Listen, Arthur.
534
00:38:31,811 --> 00:38:35,272
- There are three books. This is important. - Mm-hm.
535
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,192
Take them back...
536
00:38:38,693 --> 00:38:40,903
...to the library.
537
00:38:46,909 --> 00:38:51,622
Oh, God, Hobson, please. Don't die anymore. It's getting very boring.
538
00:38:52,206 --> 00:38:55,459
I told you, I've only got a cold. Now go and get engaged.
539
00:38:56,752 --> 00:39:01,590
- I just told Linda I was getting engaged. - I don't know why.
540
00:39:01,757 --> 00:39:05,720
A little tart like that could save you a fortune in prostitutes.
541
00:39:06,554 --> 00:39:08,222
Listen, old man...
542
00:39:08,931 --> 00:39:13,978
...don't ever talk about her that way again. She's the best person I know.
543
00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:17,189
Goddamn it, why are you such a snob?
544
00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:40,296
Hobson, I raised my voice to you. I've never done that before.
545
00:39:40,463 --> 00:39:42,506
That's quite all right.
546
00:39:43,924 --> 00:39:46,385
You know, you may be growing up.
547
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:49,930
And I'm sorry for what I said about Linda.
548
00:39:50,139 --> 00:39:51,807
No.
549
00:39:52,767 --> 00:39:54,143
Do you want anything?
550
00:39:55,144 --> 00:39:56,771
I want to be younger.
551
00:39:56,937 --> 00:39:59,398
Sorry. It's your job to be older.
552
00:41:19,228 --> 00:41:22,106
- Good evening, Mr. Bach. - Good evening, Mr. Butler.
553
00:41:22,356 --> 00:41:25,568
- I'm here to get engaged. - Won't you come in, sir?
554
00:41:25,734 --> 00:41:27,486
Yes, I will.
555
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:29,405
How are you?
556
00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:34,451
Susan. You get down here this minute.
557
00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,787
- Miss Susan is expecting you. - Yes.
558
00:41:36,954 --> 00:41:40,416
She's dressing. I will inform her that you're here.
559
00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:43,210
Tell her that Chief Inspector Flanigan from Homicide is here.
560
00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:44,879
That should get her down in a hurry.
561
00:41:47,756 --> 00:41:52,052
- Nothing. Offer to take my coat. - You don't have a coat.
562
00:41:52,595 --> 00:41:55,139
Well, offer to take my tie.
563
00:41:57,016 --> 00:41:59,393
It's a little joke.
564
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,272
Listen, take the rest of the week off. You're obviously under a lot of tension.
565
00:42:03,439 --> 00:42:05,232
Would you care to wait in the library?
566
00:42:05,399 --> 00:42:08,777
Yes, I would. The bathroom is out of the question.
567
00:42:10,404 --> 00:42:11,989
God.
568
00:42:12,156 --> 00:42:15,201
No. That's another little joke.
569
00:42:15,367 --> 00:42:18,245
- Follow me, please. - Well, sure.
570
00:42:18,412 --> 00:42:21,749
I'm a little nervous. I'm getting engaged.
571
00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:25,794
- You may wait in here. - Thank you.
572
00:42:25,961 --> 00:42:29,924
Is there anything you care for while you wait?
573
00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:33,302
Do you have today's Pravda? I like to keep up with Russia.
574
00:42:33,469 --> 00:42:35,012
No.
575
00:42:36,305 --> 00:42:37,932
Then fill a glass with Scotch.
576
00:42:38,098 --> 00:42:41,310
Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic?
577
00:42:49,318 --> 00:42:52,821
Marty, he's pouring a drink. I'll have to get back to you.
578
00:42:53,489 --> 00:42:55,157
Listen, Marty...
579
00:42:55,324 --> 00:43:00,079
...if you're gonna be like that, let's call the whole thing off. Thank you.
580
00:43:00,246 --> 00:43:02,665
God, these people. Thank you.
581
00:43:02,831 --> 00:43:05,834
I'm glad we had this time together. You're a funny guy.
582
00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:08,295
Oh, you have that problem too?
583
00:43:18,430 --> 00:43:21,350
This must be awfully embarrassing for you.
584
00:43:33,779 --> 00:43:36,782
- Hello, Arthur. - Hello, Mr. Johnson.
585
00:43:36,949 --> 00:43:38,617
I haven't seen much of you lately.
586
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:40,160
Ah.
587
00:43:40,327 --> 00:43:42,121
The reason you haven't seen much of me...
588
00:43:42,288 --> 00:43:46,375
...is because I normally pick Susan up at her apartment in town...
589
00:43:46,542 --> 00:43:49,128
...and you live here. Want a drink?
590
00:43:49,336 --> 00:43:51,714
- I never drink. - Ah.
591
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,133
- No one in my family ever drinks. - That's great.
592
00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:57,845
You probably never run out of ice your whole life. Ha.
593
00:43:59,555 --> 00:44:03,684
I don't drink, because drinking affects your decision-making.
594
00:44:03,851 --> 00:44:06,520
You may be right. I can't decide.
595
00:44:09,857 --> 00:44:12,067
That's just a little humor.
596
00:44:12,735 --> 00:44:14,737
Where's the rest of this moose?
597
00:44:14,903 --> 00:44:18,532
Arthur, I think it's time we got to know one another.
598
00:44:18,741 --> 00:44:22,202
I do too. That's why I had you come over today. Ha-ha-ha.
599
00:44:22,911 --> 00:44:26,874
This is a tough room. I don't have to tell you that.
600
00:44:27,082 --> 00:44:28,876
You must have hated this moose.
601
00:44:29,043 --> 00:44:33,255
Why don't you forget the moose for a moment?
602
00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:37,468
Right.
603
00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:41,597
Arthur.
604
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:48,437
You know, I didn't inherit money like you did. I started with nothing.
605
00:44:49,063 --> 00:44:50,689
And yet...
606
00:44:51,065 --> 00:44:53,817
...I was a millionaire by the time I was 18.
607
00:44:54,777 --> 00:44:57,780
Anyone stood in my way, they got hurt.
608
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,078
When I was 11 years old...
609
00:45:04,578 --> 00:45:06,080
...I killed a man.
610
00:45:06,246 --> 00:45:08,248
Well....
611
00:45:08,415 --> 00:45:12,378
When you're 11, you probably don't even know there's a law against that.
612
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:14,797
Is Susan here?
613
00:45:14,963 --> 00:45:18,967
I knew what I was doing. We were poor.
614
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:26,016
- He came into our house to steal our food. - Well, he was asking for it.
615
00:45:26,975 --> 00:45:28,977
I took a knife...
616
00:45:29,937 --> 00:45:32,398
...and I killed him in the kitchen.
617
00:45:34,024 --> 00:45:35,192
Oh.
618
00:45:35,359 --> 00:45:37,945
You, um, probably ate out that night.
619
00:45:38,112 --> 00:45:41,031
I mean, with that man lying in your kitchen.
620
00:45:41,198 --> 00:45:45,035
- You seem to find humor in everything. - Yes. Sorry.
621
00:45:45,202 --> 00:45:47,162
- Arthur. - What?
622
00:45:47,621 --> 00:45:51,333
Do you know what I consider to be my most precious possession?
623
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,503
- No. - My daughter.
624
00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:57,506
She is my gold.
625
00:45:57,673 --> 00:46:00,676
- She is my treasure. - She's very nice.
626
00:46:00,843 --> 00:46:04,054
And I protect what's mine.
627
00:46:04,513 --> 00:46:07,933
And I do it in an ugly way.
628
00:46:09,685 --> 00:46:13,856
- I'm from the gutter. - Oh, I understand. Yes, the gutter.
629
00:46:14,022 --> 00:46:17,860
- You seem upset. - Now, Susan loves you.
630
00:46:18,694 --> 00:46:21,488
- And I want you to make her happy. - Mm. Oh--
631
00:46:21,655 --> 00:46:24,450
You-- You can count on--
632
00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:28,162
I insist on you making her happy.
633
00:46:29,788 --> 00:46:31,874
Listen.
634
00:46:33,041 --> 00:46:35,043
What happens--
635
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:38,213
I mean, this is just hypothetical. --if I don't make her happy?
636
00:46:38,380 --> 00:46:41,216
Which is out of the question. I swear she'll be happy.
637
00:46:41,383 --> 00:46:46,096
But let's just say, um, I make her...
638
00:46:46,263 --> 00:46:47,890
...cranky.
639
00:46:48,474 --> 00:46:52,227
For cranky, I guess you'd probably just break my ankles.
640
00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:55,022
Something like that.
641
00:46:55,314 --> 00:46:58,942
You'll make her happy. I don't like your drinking.
642
00:46:59,109 --> 00:47:01,778
- Oh. - It makes you unreasonable.
643
00:47:03,822 --> 00:47:05,657
I want you to go to work.
644
00:47:05,824 --> 00:47:10,037
Now, your father and I talked about it. I want you...
645
00:47:10,204 --> 00:47:11,830
...to work for me.
646
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:17,252
- Is this it? She's not happy already? - Arthur, Susan loves you.
647
00:47:17,419 --> 00:47:21,256
So I love you. You'll find me a friend.
648
00:47:22,674 --> 00:47:23,967
Arthur, don't you get it?
649
00:47:24,134 --> 00:47:29,890
You can get drunk. You can throw up. You can forget to call me for months.
650
00:47:30,057 --> 00:47:34,228
You can't lose with me. I know you too well.
651
00:47:34,478 --> 00:47:36,605
And I'm much stronger than you are.
652
00:47:38,273 --> 00:47:41,068
I know how alone you are.
653
00:47:41,568 --> 00:47:43,612
I hate how alone you are.
654
00:47:44,112 --> 00:47:47,449
I've cried because you're so alone.
655
00:47:48,617 --> 00:47:50,869
Don't be afraid, Arthur.
656
00:47:51,620 --> 00:47:54,122
You're never going to be alone again.
657
00:47:54,957 --> 00:47:56,708
Waiter.
658
00:47:56,875 --> 00:47:59,461
I'll have another one. You want another fish?
659
00:47:59,628 --> 00:48:01,046
Don't drink anymore, Arthur.
660
00:48:01,213 --> 00:48:04,591
- Susan. - Yes, Arthur?
661
00:48:04,758 --> 00:48:06,218
You're such an asshole.
662
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,390
This is what I am.
663
00:48:12,140 --> 00:48:15,310
Everyone who drinks is not a poet.
664
00:48:17,145 --> 00:48:20,899
Some of us drink because we're not poets.
665
00:48:21,900 --> 00:48:24,736
A real woman could stop you from drinking.
666
00:48:24,945 --> 00:48:27,072
It'd have to be a real big woman.
667
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:32,661
- Arthur, will you take my hand? - That would leave you with one.
668
00:48:32,828 --> 00:48:35,080
Sorry. Here's the hand.
669
00:48:37,416 --> 00:48:39,167
I love you, Arthur.
670
00:48:39,835 --> 00:48:43,255
Good. I have to talk to the waiter now.
671
00:48:43,422 --> 00:48:47,384
My doctor has advised me that I must drink 10 of these an hour.
672
00:48:47,551 --> 00:48:49,845
I understand, Mr. Bach.
673
00:49:10,157 --> 00:49:14,995
This is the ring my grandfather gave to my grandmother. Ahem.
674
00:49:15,162 --> 00:49:17,372
Then he died.
675
00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:20,459
And subsequently, she gave it to me.
676
00:49:20,626 --> 00:49:22,753
I'll always love you, Arthur.
677
00:49:23,462 --> 00:49:27,674
- It's a great ring, isn't it? - It's a beautiful ring.
678
00:49:28,383 --> 00:49:30,844
It's a magical night.
679
00:49:33,305 --> 00:49:37,225
Do you have any objection to naming a child Vladimir?
680
00:49:37,726 --> 00:49:40,896
- Even a girl? - Ask me, Arthur.
681
00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:46,485
Will you marry me, Susan? Take the weekend if you want.
682
00:49:46,652 --> 00:49:49,029
- Yes. - Congratulations.
683
00:49:52,616 --> 00:49:56,244
Would you mind if I took you home? I've--
684
00:49:56,411 --> 00:50:00,248
I've got a terrible headache. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
685
00:50:19,726 --> 00:50:21,478
Linda?
686
00:50:23,647 --> 00:50:25,440
Linda?
687
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,497
This must be the building.
688
00:50:41,873 --> 00:50:43,458
Linda?
689
00:50:50,090 --> 00:50:53,593
Hey. Cochie-cochie-cochie-coo.
690
00:50:57,472 --> 00:50:58,974
Linda?
691
00:51:00,976 --> 00:51:02,310
Linda?
692
00:51:02,477 --> 00:51:07,607
I hope it's not late. Who am I talking to? Oh, it's me, it's me.
693
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:09,317
- Linda? - What do you want?
694
00:51:09,484 --> 00:51:11,486
Ah, shit. I--
695
00:51:11,653 --> 00:51:14,489
I'm very sorry to have disturbed you, madam.
696
00:51:14,656 --> 00:51:17,409
I was looking for Linda. I hope this is the wrong house.
697
00:51:17,576 --> 00:51:22,414
- My husband has a gun! - I'm sure he has, madam.
698
00:51:22,581 --> 00:51:25,167
For all I know, he shot it while you screamed.
699
00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:27,169
- Perry! Come over here! - No, no!
700
00:51:27,335 --> 00:51:29,421
This man wants to know where Linda lives!
701
00:51:29,588 --> 00:51:33,300
She lives at 14133, Apartment A, next door.
702
00:51:33,467 --> 00:51:35,844
- Thank you very-- - You tell a total stranger that...
703
00:51:36,011 --> 00:51:38,305
- ...when you don't know who he is? - He looks okay.
704
00:51:38,472 --> 00:51:42,058
Right. Get over here. She's terrible. Does she always hit you like that?
705
00:51:42,225 --> 00:51:43,643
- Yeah. What can I do? - Listen--
706
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:45,437
Mind your own business!
707
00:51:45,604 --> 00:51:49,191
Perry, for God's sake, she's gonna kill you. Get in there, Perry.
708
00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:52,861
Give her a shot. Jesus Chri-- It's you against her, Perr--
709
00:51:54,237 --> 00:51:55,906
Oh, God.
710
00:51:56,072 --> 00:52:01,495
That's horrible. Horrible. Horrible.
711
00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:04,498
You shouldn't hear this.
712
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:09,961
Oh, God.
713
00:52:14,216 --> 00:52:15,383
Ooh.
714
00:52:15,550 --> 00:52:17,385
Come on, legs.
715
00:52:18,386 --> 00:52:20,889
Perry, you're a dead man.
716
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:32,859
One foot-- Pardon me.
717
00:52:33,026 --> 00:52:35,070
Oh, you're a hedge.
718
00:52:37,113 --> 00:52:41,076
- Oh. You must be Linda's father. - Yeah. It's kind of late.
719
00:52:41,243 --> 00:52:45,372
Although I wasn't sleeping myself, Arthur. Oh, nice to meet you, Arthur.
720
00:52:45,539 --> 00:52:49,501
Yeah. Hi. Hi. Hi, Linda.
721
00:52:49,918 --> 00:52:52,921
Can I come in? Don't you hate Perry's wife?
722
00:52:53,088 --> 00:52:54,714
Let him in.
723
00:52:58,218 --> 00:52:59,803
Linda, I've missed--
724
00:53:00,428 --> 00:53:01,680
Ah.
725
00:53:01,847 --> 00:53:04,307
- Sorry, Linda. I'm sorry. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
726
00:53:04,474 --> 00:53:05,934
Really.
727
00:53:07,269 --> 00:53:09,563
It happens.
728
00:53:17,153 --> 00:53:19,573
What the hell is the matter with you?
729
00:53:19,739 --> 00:53:22,617
Nobody knocks on a door at 3:00 in the morning.
730
00:53:22,784 --> 00:53:25,620
You're so drunk, you can hardly stand up.
731
00:53:25,787 --> 00:53:27,455
And you're engaged.
732
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,830
This is a goner.
733
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,668
I'm going to sleep.
734
00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:23,345
You come here at 3:00 in the morning to say goodbye?
735
00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:27,557
I have to get up and go to work in the morning. Stop kidding around.
736
00:54:27,724 --> 00:54:30,435
Will you stop kissing me?
737
00:54:31,102 --> 00:54:35,357
I'm sure you're not gonna want to be a waitress for the rest of your life.
738
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:37,233
I am studying to be an actress.
739
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:38,735
- You told me. - Well, I am.
740
00:54:38,902 --> 00:54:40,904
I know. I know.
741
00:54:44,199 --> 00:54:51,206
This is for you, your father, and your acting career.
742
00:54:52,707 --> 00:54:55,752
- Now, please take it, and I'll go. - Uh-huh.
743
00:55:01,716 --> 00:55:03,760
- $100,000. - Aah.
744
00:55:09,391 --> 00:55:11,059
We don't need your money.
745
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:15,855
- Now, Linda, it'll help you. - Yeah. Look what it's done for you.
746
00:55:16,064 --> 00:55:19,025
Now tell your story walking before I call a cop.
747
00:55:19,192 --> 00:55:21,069
Get out of here.
748
00:55:24,906 --> 00:55:26,408
Closet.
749
00:55:31,997 --> 00:55:33,581
I know.
750
00:55:51,266 --> 00:55:54,936
- Wanna take it for a spin, Hobson? - No, thank you, Arthur.
751
00:55:55,895 --> 00:55:58,606
Mr. Bach, be sure you call me anytime you need the track.
752
00:55:58,773 --> 00:55:59,816
- Okay. - Take it easy.
753
00:55:59,983 --> 00:56:01,359
Thank you.
754
00:56:06,156 --> 00:56:09,451
Hobson, do you know how miserable I am?
755
00:56:09,617 --> 00:56:13,663
You're miserable? I've got all this, and I'm on a salary.
756
00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:22,922
Do you know the worst part? The worst part of being me?
757
00:56:23,089 --> 00:56:25,300
I should imagine your breath.
758
00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:28,219
Let me be unhappy, will you?
759
00:56:29,554 --> 00:56:31,222
You know, Hobson, I....
760
00:56:31,806 --> 00:56:34,142
I could love somebody.
761
00:56:35,143 --> 00:56:36,770
I never got to love anybody.
762
00:56:37,854 --> 00:56:40,440
What do I have to live for? I'm a failure at everything.
763
00:56:40,607 --> 00:56:42,692
I'm just in everyone's way.
764
00:56:42,859 --> 00:56:44,944
Would you remove your helmet, please?
765
00:56:45,153 --> 00:56:46,988
- Why? - Please.
766
00:56:51,451 --> 00:56:54,037
Thank you. Now your goggles.
767
00:56:54,287 --> 00:56:56,164
- Why? - Please.
768
00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:01,127
Thank you.
769
00:57:01,753 --> 00:57:03,463
You spoiled little bastard.
770
00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:07,675
You're a man who has everything, haven't you? But that's not enough.
771
00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:11,805
You feel unloved, Arthur? Welcome to the world. Everyone is unloved.
772
00:57:12,847 --> 00:57:16,476
Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. And, incidentally, I love you.
773
00:57:17,185 --> 00:57:19,562
Marry Susan, Arthur.
774
00:57:20,355 --> 00:57:24,192
Poor drunks do not find love, Arthur.
775
00:57:24,359 --> 00:57:28,238
Poor drunks have very few teeth. They urinate outdoors.
776
00:57:28,404 --> 00:57:30,657
They freeze to death in summer.
777
00:57:30,824 --> 00:57:34,702
- I can't bear to think of you that way. - I need Linda, Hobson.
778
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:36,579
I see.
779
00:57:36,746 --> 00:57:40,041
Well, perhaps fate will lend a hand, Arthur.
780
00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:42,377
One never knows.
781
00:57:44,379 --> 00:57:48,424
- "Good afternoon"? - Yes. May I come in?
782
00:57:48,591 --> 00:57:52,095
If you and your undershirt would walk two paces backwards...
783
00:57:52,262 --> 00:57:54,389
...I could enter this dwelling.
784
00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:16,619
How revolting.
785
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:20,748
Well...
786
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:24,377
...look who's here. The British Tonto.
787
00:58:25,086 --> 00:58:26,421
How are you? How's Arthur?
788
00:58:26,588 --> 00:58:29,757
You know, ever since I met that Arthur, I just liked him.
789
00:58:29,924 --> 00:58:33,469
You know, we have to make sure that these two wonderful kids stay together.
790
00:58:33,636 --> 00:58:34,762
Who is this person?
791
00:58:36,181 --> 00:58:38,266
- He's my father. - Yes.
792
00:58:38,433 --> 00:58:40,810
- And I'd like to say that-- - Try not to speak.
793
00:58:40,977 --> 00:58:43,855
Would you get me a cup of tea? I wish to speak to Linda.
794
00:58:44,063 --> 00:58:46,357
Oh, sure. Heh, heh.
795
00:58:48,276 --> 00:58:54,282
There is an engagement party tonight at Arthur's father's house in Southampton.
796
00:58:54,449 --> 00:58:57,535
Here is the address. Perhaps you should attend.
797
00:58:57,952 --> 00:58:59,746
Are all the ones he passed up coming?
798
00:58:59,954 --> 00:59:02,290
Young woman, this is a tie you cannot steal.
799
00:59:02,457 --> 00:59:04,626
This is a tie you're going to have to work for.
800
00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:08,254
Are you inviting me to Arthur's engagement party?
801
00:59:08,463 --> 00:59:10,757
This is not an invitation.
802
00:59:10,924 --> 00:59:12,634
However...
803
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,304
...if there's one thing that old gentlemen can still do...
804
00:59:16,471 --> 00:59:19,766
...they can still spot young gentlemen in love.
805
00:59:20,934 --> 00:59:22,060
Please go to the party.
806
00:59:23,645 --> 00:59:26,981
- Are you all right? - Yes, I'm fine.
807
00:59:32,278 --> 00:59:34,280
Um....
808
00:59:34,572 --> 00:59:36,199
Does Arthur know you're here?
809
00:59:36,366 --> 00:59:39,244
No, Arthur is far too fine a person to be involved...
810
00:59:39,410 --> 00:59:42,121
...in something as devious as this.
811
00:59:42,830 --> 00:59:45,583
- You really look out for him, don't you? - Yes.
812
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:50,046
And it is a job that I recommend highly.
813
00:59:50,838 --> 00:59:53,841
- I have something for you. - For me?
814
01:00:00,848 --> 01:00:02,100
What is it?
815
01:00:02,267 --> 01:00:06,688
If I were to tell you, it would spoil the surprise, wouldn't it? Don't open it.
816
01:00:07,855 --> 01:00:11,150
- Here's your tea. - I despise tea.
817
01:00:11,359 --> 01:00:13,861
Would you go to the bathroom and bring me two aspirin?
818
01:00:14,028 --> 01:00:18,616
You'll find them on the top shelf, to the left, behind the untouched shaving cream.
819
01:00:31,045 --> 01:00:33,172
That sounds bad. Have you seen a doctor?
820
01:00:34,132 --> 01:00:35,967
Yes.
821
01:00:36,175 --> 01:00:38,052
And he has seen me.
822
01:00:42,890 --> 01:00:44,475
You know...
823
01:00:46,686 --> 01:00:49,230
...I think Arthur has a very good friend.
824
01:00:51,774 --> 01:00:53,318
May I kiss you on the cheek?
825
01:00:53,484 --> 01:00:57,697
- Is it something you feel strongly about? - Yes.
826
01:01:04,954 --> 01:01:06,956
Oh, what about your aspirins?
827
01:01:07,123 --> 01:01:09,751
The aspirins are for you, my dear.
828
01:02:33,292 --> 01:02:34,877
Hello.
829
01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:37,755
Good evening.
830
01:02:44,887 --> 01:02:49,142
Mm. God knows when I'll see you again.
831
01:02:49,308 --> 01:02:52,520
- Arthur, will you play something for us? - No.
832
01:02:53,271 --> 01:02:56,357
I'd rather-- I--
833
01:02:58,651 --> 01:03:00,695
Gosh, darling.
834
01:03:01,487 --> 01:03:03,406
Ah, yes.
835
01:03:04,866 --> 01:03:08,077
Aww....
836
01:03:13,499 --> 01:03:15,042
Thank you.
837
01:03:16,919 --> 01:03:20,006
- Don't you hate these things? - Despise them.
838
01:03:20,214 --> 01:03:22,550
Actually, seriously, um...
839
01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:28,723
...songs come and go, but I love the classics.
840
01:03:28,890 --> 01:03:31,517
And I hope you'll enjoy this one.
841
01:03:43,404 --> 01:03:45,406
You'd better watch out
842
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:48,284
You'd better not cry
843
01:03:48,451 --> 01:03:53,039
- Oh, are you good friends with Arthur? - Oh. For ages. Ha-ha-ha.
844
01:03:53,206 --> 01:03:56,501
I'm so pleased he finally found the right woman. Where is she?
845
01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:59,003
She's, uh.... She's over there.
846
01:03:59,212 --> 01:04:02,507
- Isn't she just beautiful? - Of course she is.
847
01:04:03,049 --> 01:04:06,219
- Why would Arthur marry a dog? - Pardon?
848
01:04:06,385 --> 01:04:11,557
Santa Claus is coming to town
849
01:04:13,351 --> 01:04:15,811
How does it feel to be getting married, Arthur?
850
01:04:16,938 --> 01:04:18,606
Blue moon
851
01:04:19,482 --> 01:04:21,859
You saw me standing alone
852
01:04:23,402 --> 01:04:26,113
Without a dream in my heart
853
01:04:27,156 --> 01:04:28,199
Without a love of my own
854
01:04:28,366 --> 01:04:29,700
Thanks a lot. That's flattering.
855
01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:30,952
Aww....
856
01:04:31,118 --> 01:04:33,621
If you knew Susan like I knew Susan
857
01:04:33,788 --> 01:04:35,957
Oh. Oh.
858
01:04:36,457 --> 01:04:38,751
I need a drink
859
01:04:43,464 --> 01:04:45,925
- Tell me your entire name, darling. - Preston Langley.
860
01:04:46,092 --> 01:04:49,971
Oh, Preston. Really. I mean, if you don't remember when we met....
861
01:04:50,137 --> 01:04:51,847
I mean, honestly. Ha-ha-ha.
862
01:04:52,014 --> 01:04:54,976
- Put your arm around me, Preston. - Of course.
863
01:04:57,144 --> 01:04:58,813
Linda, you're here.
864
01:05:00,398 --> 01:05:01,899
So true.
865
01:05:02,066 --> 01:05:04,652
Arthur. Join us.
866
01:05:07,863 --> 01:05:10,366
Congratulations. Father sends his regards.
867
01:05:10,533 --> 01:05:12,868
- Does he? - Yes, he does.
868
01:05:13,035 --> 01:05:15,663
Wednesday night may be difficult for me.
869
01:05:15,830 --> 01:05:18,749
- What? - You're looking wonderful, my dear.
870
01:05:18,916 --> 01:05:20,960
- Aren't I? Thank you. - Wednesday?
871
01:05:21,127 --> 01:05:24,797
It's difficult for her that night. Isn't that the night you usually attend...
872
01:05:24,964 --> 01:05:27,300
- ...the ballet, darling, with your father? - Yes.
873
01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:29,010
Actually, I feel foolish...
874
01:05:29,176 --> 01:05:31,470
- ...but I don't recall ever making-- - Preston.
875
01:05:31,637 --> 01:05:35,850
Would you be divine and get me a gin and tonic?
876
01:05:36,017 --> 01:05:37,977
Scotch for me, Preston.
877
01:05:39,186 --> 01:05:42,565
- You wait here for me? - If it takes forever.
878
01:05:51,699 --> 01:05:57,496
What are you doing here, and why are you talking like that?
879
01:06:00,207 --> 01:06:02,043
I was in the neighborhood.
880
01:06:02,209 --> 01:06:04,670
It took me two buses, three cabs and a train...
881
01:06:04,837 --> 01:06:08,549
...to get into the neighborhood, but what the hell? Ha-ha-ha.
882
01:06:08,716 --> 01:06:11,969
Nice place. I like a living room you can land a plane in.
883
01:06:12,136 --> 01:06:14,680
There's more of it. You like a tour?
884
01:06:15,389 --> 01:06:17,433
I've seen bedrooms.
885
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:22,813
- Don't be a lover. Be a person. - You make me happy.
886
01:06:23,397 --> 01:06:25,441
Her name is Linda Marolla.
887
01:06:25,608 --> 01:06:30,696
She's the one Arthur saw the other night. She lives in Queens.
888
01:06:47,546 --> 01:06:48,589
Mario, please.
889
01:06:48,756 --> 01:06:50,591
Listen, don't worry. I talked to the warden.
890
01:06:50,758 --> 01:06:53,052
- We're gonna get you out of here. - Ha-ha-ha.
891
01:06:53,219 --> 01:06:57,556
When I was a kid, I used to open all their stalls and let them run out.
892
01:06:57,723 --> 01:07:00,393
You should have been there the day I freed my goldfish.
893
01:07:00,559 --> 01:07:02,478
Come over here. I want you two to meet.
894
01:07:02,645 --> 01:07:07,775
Pancho. Pancho. This is Linda. I told you about her. Do you remember?
895
01:07:08,776 --> 01:07:10,736
Must've been something, growing up with all this.
896
01:07:10,903 --> 01:07:13,906
Oh. I was away at boarding school most of the time.
897
01:07:14,073 --> 01:07:18,452
I was kicked out of 10 prep schools. I was a bad kid.
898
01:07:18,619 --> 01:07:20,287
No, you weren't.
899
01:07:20,454 --> 01:07:22,581
You just wanted to go home.
900
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:25,418
Bad kids don't grow up as nice as you are.
901
01:07:25,584 --> 01:07:27,753
- Why do you think Pancho loves you? - Well, thank you.
902
01:07:31,132 --> 01:07:33,467
This is kind of like prom night, isn't it?
903
01:07:34,802 --> 01:07:36,303
I mean, we're all dressed up.
904
01:07:41,308 --> 01:07:42,727
Have you ever been in love?
905
01:07:44,395 --> 01:07:48,607
- No. You? - No.
906
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:52,820
But when I was little, I thought the moon followed me.
907
01:07:52,987 --> 01:07:54,405
What?
908
01:07:54,989 --> 01:08:01,162
Well, I would walk, and I thought that the moon went anyplace that I did.
909
01:08:01,871 --> 01:08:04,165
Oh, that's great.
910
01:08:04,331 --> 01:08:06,834
No, I know it's silly, but I was only 8 years old.
911
01:08:08,210 --> 01:08:11,672
I thought it meant that something special was gonna happen to me someday.
912
01:08:11,839 --> 01:08:17,428
So I've been waiting. Every day, I've been doing my hair, and washing my face.
913
01:08:17,595 --> 01:08:21,056
- Can I kiss you? - Please.
914
01:08:30,524 --> 01:08:33,194
I wasn't talking to you.
915
01:08:34,612 --> 01:08:38,240
Why is it you can make me laugh at the saddest times in my whole life?
916
01:08:38,407 --> 01:08:40,618
- Why is that? - I'm funny, that's why.
917
01:08:40,785 --> 01:08:44,121
- I'm funny. - Yeah, that's it.
918
01:08:44,955 --> 01:08:48,000
- You're gonna marry Susan, aren't you? - Yeah.
919
01:08:48,793 --> 01:08:52,671
I'm still glad I came here. Made a fool out of myself.
920
01:08:53,297 --> 01:08:56,717
- I wish we had made love. - Yeah.
921
01:08:56,884 --> 01:08:59,345
I would give anything to see you in the morning.
922
01:09:00,554 --> 01:09:04,642
Linda, I have to marry Susan. If I don't, my family will cut me off.
923
01:09:04,809 --> 01:09:07,478
- It's almost a billion dollars. - Oh.
924
01:09:09,188 --> 01:09:11,565
One of the horses just fainted.
925
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,194
Look, this is ridiculous, Arthur.
926
01:09:15,361 --> 01:09:19,031
You got cab fare back to the city? I don't like to take a train at night.
927
01:09:20,533 --> 01:09:22,243
Look, when Susan and I get married...
928
01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:25,746
...I can set you up in an apartment, and we can--
929
01:09:25,913 --> 01:09:27,414
Forget it.
930
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:30,209
Are you cute.
931
01:09:35,589 --> 01:09:40,886
I thought I'd find you here. He just loves that smelly old horse.
932
01:09:41,053 --> 01:09:42,429
Have we met?
933
01:09:42,596 --> 01:09:45,432
Uh, I don't think you have.
934
01:09:45,599 --> 01:09:48,477
Linda Marolla, this is Susan Johnson, my fianc矇e.
935
01:09:49,061 --> 01:09:51,063
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
936
01:09:51,230 --> 01:09:54,191
- Of course not. - I'd say that if I were you.
937
01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:56,777
We might as well tell her, Arthur.
938
01:09:58,112 --> 01:10:00,197
You tell her.
939
01:10:03,075 --> 01:10:08,080
My husband, Harold, went to prep school with Arthur.
940
01:10:08,247 --> 01:10:12,459
Harold lost a fortune gambling. He's sick. He's a sick man.
941
01:10:13,294 --> 01:10:15,588
But he's my husband.
942
01:10:15,921 --> 01:10:19,049
I'm not one of your guests tonight. I came here for one reason only.
943
01:10:19,216 --> 01:10:22,636
I came here to beg Arthur to lend us some money.
944
01:10:23,762 --> 01:10:30,477
One of my kids, my youngest, my baby, needs an operation.
945
01:10:30,644 --> 01:10:33,981
Harold hasn't kept up the insurance policy. I don't know where to turn.
946
01:10:34,148 --> 01:10:39,153
- Do I have to go on with this? - No, of course not. Of course not.
947
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:42,406
- Arthur, I wasn't spying on you. - I know that.
948
01:10:42,573 --> 01:10:45,284
There's an urgent phone call for you from Bitterman.
949
01:10:45,451 --> 01:10:48,203
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
950
01:10:49,496 --> 01:10:51,624
Say hello to Harold for me.
951
01:11:03,594 --> 01:11:06,931
- You all right, Bitterman? - Yes, sir.
952
01:11:07,556 --> 01:11:09,224
Um...
953
01:11:09,391 --> 01:11:11,518
...would you like me to get you some Scotch, sir?
954
01:11:11,685 --> 01:11:14,104
No. No, thanks. We'll get through this together.
955
01:11:14,271 --> 01:11:15,814
Yes, sir.
956
01:11:20,194 --> 01:11:22,196
It's very hard.
957
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:27,826
I'm glad to have you here, sir.
958
01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:33,040
- Bitterman, um, do me a favor. - Yes, sir?
959
01:11:33,207 --> 01:11:35,084
Go back to the house.
960
01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:38,253
Phone my father and Mr. Johnson and Miss Susan.
961
01:11:38,420 --> 01:11:41,048
Tell them what's happened. The wedding will have to wait.
962
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:45,678
- And bring me back some clothes here. - Yes, sir.
963
01:11:53,936 --> 01:11:56,605
Okay, let's open the presents.
964
01:11:57,398 --> 01:11:58,691
I'm sorry, Arthur.
965
01:11:59,566 --> 01:12:02,236
- For what? - For leaving you.
966
01:12:04,405 --> 01:12:05,906
You're not leaving anyone.
967
01:12:11,578 --> 01:12:15,416
- Why, it's a basketball. - Yeah, well, what the hell?
968
01:12:15,582 --> 01:12:17,960
- I knew you didn't have one. - Yes.
969
01:12:18,127 --> 01:12:22,881
If I feel the urge to dribble, I can always call the nurse.
970
01:12:23,924 --> 01:12:26,260
I'll put this over here.
971
01:12:31,390 --> 01:12:36,603
- You purchased a choo-choo? - Look, the wheels go round.
972
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,446
I'm very pleased.
973
01:12:45,612 --> 01:12:47,156
Do you remember...?
974
01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:50,951
Do you remember when you used to play hide-and-seek with me?
975
01:12:51,118 --> 01:12:53,203
I used to hide, and you never found me.
976
01:12:53,787 --> 01:12:56,957
- Did you know I never looked? - Come on.
977
01:12:57,124 --> 01:13:00,044
Well, I looked a little.
978
01:13:00,335 --> 01:13:02,337
Mm.
979
01:13:02,629 --> 01:13:04,298
One for you, one for me. Put it on.
980
01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:08,260
I don't wish to put it on.
981
01:13:13,307 --> 01:13:15,225
I'll put it on.
982
01:13:19,813 --> 01:13:24,068
If I begin to die, please take this off my head.
983
01:13:24,234 --> 01:13:26,403
This is not the way I wish to be remembered.
984
01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:30,908
Aren't they great?
985
01:13:33,994 --> 01:13:37,081
Got guns and holsters too. Look.
986
01:13:37,247 --> 01:13:39,041
Yes.
987
01:13:39,208 --> 01:13:42,836
Just in town for supplies, partner.
988
01:13:44,922 --> 01:13:46,381
Arthur, I'm frightened.
989
01:13:51,470 --> 01:13:53,931
I know you're frightened.
990
01:13:54,098 --> 01:13:56,225
And I'm gonna take care of you.
991
01:14:29,258 --> 01:14:32,636
- Morning, Mr. Bach. - Hi, Ken.
992
01:14:38,809 --> 01:14:40,561
Here, I'll take that.
993
01:14:40,727 --> 01:14:44,231
Mr. Bach, you look terrible. You haven't slept in a week.
994
01:14:44,398 --> 01:14:46,942
Well, we had a bad night. He was up.
995
01:14:47,109 --> 01:14:48,735
- I got the kippers and eggs. - Great.
996
01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:52,406
- I could get fired. - Oh, no, you won't.
997
01:14:53,073 --> 01:14:56,785
Listen, um, for lunch, um...
998
01:14:58,078 --> 01:15:02,166
...I want the trout almondine from Lut癡ce. Tell Henri it's for me.
999
01:15:02,332 --> 01:15:06,753
- He shouldn't be eating that stuff. - I don't want his last meal to be Jell-O.
1000
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:09,590
Thanks very much. See you later.
1001
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,760
Oh, look who's up.
1002
01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:15,929
Well, now, ahem...
1003
01:15:17,598 --> 01:15:19,933
...we have eggs, we have kippers.
1004
01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:23,020
We have croissant. We have a yellow rose.
1005
01:15:23,187 --> 01:15:26,732
We have strawberries. We have blueberry cakes.
1006
01:15:26,899 --> 01:15:30,402
We have orange juice, and we have great coffee.
1007
01:15:30,777 --> 01:15:33,113
Right. Now, a table for one, sir.
1008
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:35,157
Your regular.
1009
01:15:37,034 --> 01:15:38,827
You know, Arthur...
1010
01:15:39,786 --> 01:15:41,538
...I'm very glad you're here.
1011
01:15:41,705 --> 01:15:44,917
I want you to eat this. You know what this is costing me?
1012
01:15:45,083 --> 01:15:47,794
I've got chefs working at 6 in the morning all over town.
1013
01:15:47,961 --> 01:15:50,839
Arthur, you look awful.
1014
01:15:51,006 --> 01:15:54,509
That's just because you've never seen me sober. Now, come on, eat.
1015
01:15:54,676 --> 01:15:57,638
Come on. You used to make me eat.
1016
01:15:58,931 --> 01:16:00,515
Arthur.
1017
01:16:02,100 --> 01:16:03,310
What?
1018
01:16:03,477 --> 01:16:05,229
It's not so bad.
1019
01:16:05,812 --> 01:16:08,649
You don't need to be so frightened about it.
1020
01:16:10,525 --> 01:16:13,320
- What? - Dying.
1021
01:16:13,904 --> 01:16:16,156
Seems natural.
1022
01:16:16,323 --> 01:16:18,200
Even comforting now.
1023
01:16:19,993 --> 01:16:21,787
You're even teaching me how to die?
1024
01:16:22,329 --> 01:16:25,499
I'm through teaching you anything, Arthur.
1025
01:16:26,959 --> 01:16:28,835
You've grown up.
1026
01:16:35,467 --> 01:16:38,345
- Arthur. - What?
1027
01:16:39,137 --> 01:16:42,599
You can do anything with your life that you want to.
1028
01:16:44,184 --> 01:16:46,019
What do you mean?
1029
01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:49,189
Figure it out.
1030
01:16:49,356 --> 01:16:51,483
Have you seen Linda Marolla lately?
1031
01:16:52,234 --> 01:16:53,819
Linda Marolla?
1032
01:16:54,611 --> 01:16:56,321
Why would you ask about her?
1033
01:16:56,530 --> 01:17:00,742
I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm dying.
1034
01:17:08,166 --> 01:17:10,002
Want me to read you some Shakespeare?
1035
01:17:10,168 --> 01:17:14,798
- Hamlet was in big trouble when we left off. - No.
1036
01:17:22,222 --> 01:17:25,934
- Arthur. - Mm?
1037
01:17:30,022 --> 01:17:31,773
You're a good son.
1038
01:18:23,784 --> 01:18:27,954
You-- You take your average kid today, friend.
1039
01:18:28,121 --> 01:18:29,956
He don't wanna go in the Army.
1040
01:18:30,123 --> 01:18:32,918
Yeah, what does he care? The dope.
1041
01:18:33,126 --> 01:18:37,547
But the Communists, they go in the Army.
1042
01:18:37,714 --> 01:18:40,801
If only we had some Communists here.
1043
01:18:40,967 --> 01:18:42,260
- No. - No.
1044
01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:43,595
No. No.
1045
01:18:43,762 --> 01:18:46,306
While our kids are dancing...
1046
01:18:46,473 --> 01:18:49,476
...their kids are learning how to fight.
1047
01:18:49,643 --> 01:18:51,978
Everybody's dancing here.
1048
01:18:52,145 --> 01:18:55,482
You're right. You're right. It's not worth talking about.
1049
01:18:55,649 --> 01:18:58,860
- Let me buy you another drink. - Right.
1050
01:18:59,027 --> 01:19:03,323
- What do you do? - I'm a dance instructor.
1051
01:19:05,659 --> 01:19:10,163
No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Honest to God. I'm a dentist.
1052
01:19:10,330 --> 01:19:12,666
I hate dentists.
1053
01:19:12,833 --> 01:19:16,670
We're not bad guys. It's not easy, you know?
1054
01:19:16,837 --> 01:19:20,382
There's-- There's teeth and gums and blood.
1055
01:19:20,549 --> 01:19:22,300
Oh, my God.
1056
01:19:22,467 --> 01:19:25,345
I have to get looped just to walk into my office.
1057
01:19:25,512 --> 01:19:29,307
Bartender. We would like two more, please.
1058
01:19:29,474 --> 01:19:32,018
- Haven't you had enough? - I want more than enough.
1059
01:19:34,396 --> 01:19:38,150
How come you got all this money for all these drinks?
1060
01:19:38,316 --> 01:19:42,821
I saved my money. I haven't had a drink in a month.
1061
01:19:43,029 --> 01:19:47,784
- Oh, my God. - Well, you see, my father died.
1062
01:19:49,828 --> 01:19:51,746
So I stayed sober.
1063
01:19:53,665 --> 01:19:58,628
One night at the hospital, he fell asleep. I was watching him.
1064
01:19:59,713 --> 01:20:00,964
And then...
1065
01:20:02,132 --> 01:20:04,843
...he just kept on sleeping.
1066
01:20:05,552 --> 01:20:07,637
And I was all alone.
1067
01:20:07,846 --> 01:20:09,848
Oh, that's terrible.
1068
01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:12,559
Nah. Listen...
1069
01:20:12,726 --> 01:20:15,562
...I was lucky to know him at all.
1070
01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:19,900
- Are you somebody's father? - No. I'm a drunk.
1071
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:21,234
Oh, yeah, right.
1072
01:20:21,401 --> 01:20:25,906
I have a brother who moved to New Jersey.
1073
01:20:26,072 --> 01:20:27,824
I'm getting married soon.
1074
01:20:28,074 --> 01:20:30,785
- Great. - I don't love her.
1075
01:20:30,952 --> 01:20:33,455
- Oh, no. - I don't love her.
1076
01:20:33,622 --> 01:20:37,667
- Well, don't make a scene. - No, I'm sorry, but there--
1077
01:20:37,834 --> 01:20:40,045
There's this other girl.
1078
01:20:40,545 --> 01:20:43,256
- She steals ties... - Uh-huh.
1079
01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:46,593
...and gives them to her father. She's funny.
1080
01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:48,428
Uh-huh.
1081
01:20:48,970 --> 01:20:52,098
- I want her. - Uh-huh.
1082
01:20:52,265 --> 01:20:54,184
- I want her! - I have to go.
1083
01:20:54,351 --> 01:20:56,978
No, no, no.
1084
01:20:57,938 --> 01:20:59,356
Sorry.
1085
01:20:59,523 --> 01:21:02,567
Sir, your wedding is within less than five hours.
1086
01:21:02,734 --> 01:21:06,530
Yeah. Listen, listen. Go see your brother.
1087
01:21:06,696 --> 01:21:10,617
All right? Nobody should be alone.
1088
01:21:10,784 --> 01:21:13,328
- Yeah. - It's awful...
1089
01:21:13,495 --> 01:21:15,121
...to be alone.
1090
01:21:22,295 --> 01:21:25,549
I just want you to know, if he doesn't show up for this wedding...
1091
01:21:25,715 --> 01:21:28,969
- ...I'm going to kill him. - Don't worry about it, Burt.
1092
01:21:29,135 --> 01:21:31,096
I talk to Arthur every day.
1093
01:21:31,263 --> 01:21:34,474
Since Hobson's death, he's stopped drinking. He's anxious to work.
1094
01:21:34,641 --> 01:21:38,478
He's become a responsible citizen. He'll be a good husband.
1095
01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:41,481
Thanks very much. Have a nice day.
1096
01:21:42,440 --> 01:21:44,985
- Thanks. Where's my roll? - We're having it monogrammed.
1097
01:21:45,151 --> 01:21:48,738
Take it easy. Hurry up with the old man's roll, huh?
1098
01:21:50,574 --> 01:21:54,327
- Can I help you? - Do you recommend the French toast?
1099
01:21:54,494 --> 01:21:56,413
With all of my heart.
1100
01:21:57,956 --> 01:22:01,084
- Lady, I got customers. - I'll have it.
1101
01:22:01,251 --> 01:22:03,169
You've made the right decision.
1102
01:22:03,336 --> 01:22:05,338
- Miss? Miss? I-- - Wait a minute. Wait. Wait.
1103
01:22:05,505 --> 01:22:07,841
I've waited long enough.
1104
01:22:08,633 --> 01:22:14,472
- Can you take the next 60 years off? - I'll have to ask.
1105
01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:20,395
- What--? You want some coffee? - Where's my roll?
1106
01:22:20,562 --> 01:22:21,855
Wait. I'll get it.
1107
01:22:22,022 --> 01:22:25,525
- What the hell's going on here? - She's getting your roll.
1108
01:22:26,985 --> 01:22:31,072
- Here's your roll. Arthur, what happened? - Hobson died.
1109
01:22:31,239 --> 01:22:34,200
I know. He loved you very much. Did you know that?
1110
01:22:34,367 --> 01:22:38,163
Yeah. And I think I'll grow up.
1111
01:22:38,330 --> 01:22:39,539
I want to marry you.
1112
01:22:41,249 --> 01:22:44,169
Although I'm supposed to marry Susan in 20 minutes.
1113
01:22:44,336 --> 01:22:46,880
- He seems drunk, but he sounds sincere. - Eat your roll.
1114
01:22:47,047 --> 01:22:48,548
Yeah.
1115
01:22:49,674 --> 01:22:52,594
Look, the money. Arthur, can you live without the money?
1116
01:22:52,761 --> 01:22:54,721
Well, we'll have to.
1117
01:22:56,806 --> 01:22:58,808
Please marry me.
1118
01:23:00,602 --> 01:23:03,480
I'll try to be sober, and I'll try to make you happy.
1119
01:23:03,647 --> 01:23:06,524
Although it won't be easy, because I'll be poor.
1120
01:23:06,691 --> 01:23:08,693
- We'll be poor. - We'll be poor.
1121
01:23:08,860 --> 01:23:09,986
Most people are poor.
1122
01:23:10,153 --> 01:23:12,113
Eat your roll.
1123
01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:15,742
Now, I have to tell Susan. Come with me?
1124
01:23:15,909 --> 01:23:17,077
Yeah. I gotta change.
1125
01:23:17,243 --> 01:23:19,162
- I'll cover for you. - All right.
1126
01:23:20,997 --> 01:23:24,000
Arthur, last night, I could've sworn the moon was following me.
1127
01:23:24,167 --> 01:23:25,752
It was.
1128
01:23:53,738 --> 01:23:57,158
- I'm Arthur Bach, the groom. - Congratulations.
1129
01:23:57,325 --> 01:23:59,869
Oh, thank you. And to you too.
1130
01:24:00,036 --> 01:24:03,456
I wonder, could you tell me where the wedding party is?
1131
01:24:03,623 --> 01:24:05,500
Right over there, in that room.
1132
01:24:05,667 --> 01:24:10,547
Oh, thank you very much. You've got a lovely....
1133
01:24:10,714 --> 01:24:12,298
Uh....
1134
01:24:14,426 --> 01:24:15,802
- Hat. - He's drunk.
1135
01:24:15,969 --> 01:24:18,388
Hat. It's called a hat.
1136
01:24:22,142 --> 01:24:23,893
Good luck, Arthur.
1137
01:24:24,060 --> 01:24:28,064
Oh, thank you very much. I'm Arthur Bach.
1138
01:24:29,232 --> 01:24:31,192
I'm Arthur Bach.
1139
01:24:40,243 --> 01:24:43,913
- Did you forget your garter belt? - No.
1140
01:24:45,498 --> 01:24:47,500
Hi.
1141
01:24:48,001 --> 01:24:50,712
- Sorry I'm late. - Oh, Arthur.
1142
01:24:51,296 --> 01:24:53,006
Oh, Susan.
1143
01:24:53,173 --> 01:24:57,093
Susan, just the one I wanted to talk to. Nice dress.
1144
01:24:57,260 --> 01:25:01,139
- Arthur, the ceremony's just-- - Yeah, yeah. I know. Um--
1145
01:25:02,098 --> 01:25:06,811
Could we just talk for a moment, away from all these people?
1146
01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:09,355
Of course.
1147
01:25:10,857 --> 01:25:12,859
Uh....
1148
01:25:15,695 --> 01:25:17,739
Susan, I--
1149
01:25:19,866 --> 01:25:22,076
Susan, I-- I--
1150
01:25:22,744 --> 01:25:25,121
I don't love you. I don't love you.
1151
01:25:25,288 --> 01:25:27,874
- What is it, dear? - I don't love you.
1152
01:25:28,041 --> 01:25:29,375
I don't love you.
1153
01:25:29,959 --> 01:25:32,086
- It's right in that room over there. - Ah.
1154
01:25:32,253 --> 01:25:36,716
- Thank you. Oh, your hat is lovely. - I've heard.
1155
01:25:36,883 --> 01:25:37,967
Thank you.
1156
01:25:38,426 --> 01:25:40,804
- You're drunk. - I-- I--
1157
01:25:40,970 --> 01:25:44,307
- You're frightened. - I know. I know. I'm both of those.
1158
01:25:44,474 --> 01:25:47,018
I know. But I'm--
1159
01:25:47,185 --> 01:25:49,020
I'm in love with another woman.
1160
01:25:49,187 --> 01:25:52,941
- What, dear? - I'm in love with another woman.
1161
01:25:53,107 --> 01:25:54,818
What?
1162
01:25:54,984 --> 01:25:56,945
I'm in love...
1163
01:25:57,111 --> 01:26:00,615
...with another woman.
1164
01:26:01,658 --> 01:26:06,996
Susan, the one innocent person in all of this has been you. I'm really sorry.
1165
01:26:07,163 --> 01:26:09,624
Shut up, Arthur! Just shut up!
1166
01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:14,045
- Daddy! - Oh, no, no, no.
1167
01:26:14,921 --> 01:26:16,381
No.
1168
01:26:17,590 --> 01:26:19,884
Oh, hello, Mr. Johnson.
1169
01:26:24,264 --> 01:26:25,265
Mr. Jo--
1170
01:26:32,188 --> 01:26:37,443
He must be nervous. Ha, ha. Arthur gets nervous sometimes, you know.
1171
01:26:38,111 --> 01:26:41,322
Here's your ring, Arthur.
1172
01:26:42,073 --> 01:26:43,408
I hope you're happy.
1173
01:26:43,575 --> 01:26:46,119
Now, stand up, son. I wanna kill you with my bare hands.
1174
01:26:46,286 --> 01:26:47,328
Arthur.
1175
01:26:47,704 --> 01:26:53,543
Oh, hi, Linda. I think you know everyone. This is Susan's father.
1176
01:26:53,710 --> 01:26:56,838
My God, Arthur, you're really hurt.
1177
01:26:57,338 --> 01:27:01,301
I've got him right where I want him.
1178
01:27:05,471 --> 01:27:07,599
You animal.
1179
01:27:07,765 --> 01:27:09,267
Look, it's over.
1180
01:27:09,434 --> 01:27:13,062
He doesn't love your daughter. I'm sorry. It happens.
1181
01:27:13,229 --> 01:27:16,983
- He loves me. - What about Harold?
1182
01:27:17,150 --> 01:27:19,068
Harold?
1183
01:27:19,235 --> 01:27:21,154
- Oh, you poor thing. - Stand aside.
1184
01:27:21,321 --> 01:27:25,491
Now, is this the slut that you've disgraced my daughter for?
1185
01:27:25,658 --> 01:27:26,659
Slut?
1186
01:27:28,036 --> 01:27:29,871
Slut?
1187
01:27:38,463 --> 01:27:40,506
Arthur!
1188
01:27:41,633 --> 01:27:42,759
Jesus.
1189
01:27:49,974 --> 01:27:51,267
Oh, my God, my....
1190
01:27:51,434 --> 01:27:54,437
- Daddy. Daddy. He's not worth it. - Just sit up.
1191
01:27:54,604 --> 01:27:55,647
- Susan. - No.
1192
01:27:55,813 --> 01:27:57,607
- Can you move, Arthur? - No, Daddy. No!
1193
01:27:57,774 --> 01:27:59,776
- Everybody, out! - No, Daddy. No!
1194
01:27:59,943 --> 01:28:02,278
Out! All of you, out!
1195
01:28:03,947 --> 01:28:06,866
Oh. Oh, God.
1196
01:28:10,036 --> 01:28:11,788
Weird.
1197
01:28:11,955 --> 01:28:15,750
He's taking the knife out of the cheese.
1198
01:28:16,376 --> 01:28:21,089
- Do you think he wants some cheese? - No. I think we're gonna die.
1199
01:28:21,255 --> 01:28:25,551
- I don't wanna die, Arthur. Arthur. - Oh, no, no, no.
1200
01:28:27,971 --> 01:28:32,350
- What the hell is going on here? - Stop that this instant.
1201
01:28:33,393 --> 01:28:36,062
Don't screw with me, Burt.
1202
01:29:15,268 --> 01:29:20,106
Uh.... Um, ladies and gentlemen...
1203
01:29:20,565 --> 01:29:22,150
...um...
1204
01:29:22,483 --> 01:29:23,735
...I'm sorry.
1205
01:29:24,694 --> 01:29:29,615
Uh, as you probably have surmised by now...
1206
01:29:29,782 --> 01:29:31,826
...there will be no wedding.
1207
01:29:33,786 --> 01:29:37,832
The bride has had second thoughts...
1208
01:29:37,999 --> 01:29:41,753
...and has decided not to marry me.
1209
01:29:41,919 --> 01:29:45,548
Most of you know me. Can you blame her? Heh.
1210
01:29:47,175 --> 01:29:48,760
I....
1211
01:29:49,135 --> 01:29:54,807
I won't be seeing most of you anymore, because I'm....
1212
01:29:55,433 --> 01:29:58,352
I'm going to be, uh...
1213
01:29:58,811 --> 01:30:00,480
...poor.
1214
01:30:03,274 --> 01:30:06,235
I'll-- I'll miss you.
1215
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,821
And, um...
1216
01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:16,996
...now that there's a good chance, I should go...
1217
01:30:17,163 --> 01:30:19,290
...to the hospital.
1218
01:30:28,591 --> 01:30:32,011
Okay, now, this has some iodine on it, so it might hurt a little.
1219
01:30:32,178 --> 01:30:34,847
Ow, that hurts. I hate it. Stop it.
1220
01:30:35,681 --> 01:30:39,018
- Why'd you do that? - Because I hate an infection.
1221
01:30:39,852 --> 01:30:42,313
- See, if you'd have just let me get-- - Ow!
1222
01:30:42,480 --> 01:30:43,940
Okay.
1223
01:30:49,529 --> 01:30:51,989
Look, as long as we're here...
1224
01:30:52,156 --> 01:30:54,242
...do you promise to love me...
1225
01:30:54,408 --> 01:30:56,035
...and obey me...
1226
01:30:56,202 --> 01:30:58,121
...and be a good boy?
1227
01:30:59,247 --> 01:31:00,289
I do.
1228
01:31:00,998 --> 01:31:05,169
And do you promise never to put that stuff on my face again?
1229
01:31:05,336 --> 01:31:06,379
I do.
1230
01:31:06,921 --> 01:31:09,298
Oh, God.
1231
01:31:09,465 --> 01:31:12,218
- We're gonna be great. - Yeah.
1232
01:31:12,385 --> 01:31:14,720
We're gonna be-- We're gonna be like...
1233
01:31:14,887 --> 01:31:19,517
...one of those poor couples on the subway who hold hands.
1234
01:31:19,684 --> 01:31:22,019
How much is the subway?
1235
01:31:22,186 --> 01:31:25,565
Uh, sixty cents. But if you spit, it's a 500-dollar fine.
1236
01:31:25,731 --> 01:31:30,153
- Then I won't spit. - Good. None of the best people do.
1237
01:31:30,319 --> 01:31:31,696
I'll get a job.
1238
01:31:32,613 --> 01:31:34,699
That's what I'll do.
1239
01:31:34,907 --> 01:31:36,784
- I'll get a job. Mm-hm.
1240
01:31:37,702 --> 01:31:39,537
I'll work.
1241
01:31:39,704 --> 01:31:40,997
God, this is gonna be great.
1242
01:31:41,164 --> 01:31:43,958
- Good. Look how excited he is. - I'll come home from work.
1243
01:31:44,542 --> 01:31:46,169
You'll be ironing.
1244
01:31:46,335 --> 01:31:49,964
- We'll eat some cheap, disgusting food. - Stop!
1245
01:31:50,131 --> 01:31:52,216
I think we're in trouble.
1246
01:31:52,383 --> 01:31:55,970
That is out of the question.
1247
01:31:56,137 --> 01:31:59,849
There has never been such a thing as a working-class Bach.
1248
01:32:00,725 --> 01:32:03,144
And there never will be.
1249
01:32:05,646 --> 01:32:09,775
- Step. Step. - Arthur.
1250
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,527
I've reached a decision.
1251
01:32:11,694 --> 01:32:16,032
The Bach family must endure. And not on a subway.
1252
01:32:16,199 --> 01:32:20,119
Arthur, your children will be senators, ambassadors.
1253
01:32:20,286 --> 01:32:22,163
Perhaps even a president.
1254
01:32:22,330 --> 01:32:28,085
Arthur, you have your $750 million.
1255
01:32:28,252 --> 01:32:29,754
All right.
1256
01:32:33,591 --> 01:32:37,762
- I don't know, Martha. - You don't know?
1257
01:32:37,929 --> 01:32:41,182
- Money has screwed me up my whole life. - I know.
1258
01:32:41,349 --> 01:32:44,143
I've always been rich, and I've never been happy.
1259
01:32:44,310 --> 01:32:46,646
I've always been poor, and I've usually been happy.
1260
01:32:46,812 --> 01:32:50,608
Rubbish. I've always been rich, and I've always been happy.
1261
01:32:52,735 --> 01:32:55,321
Would you make me a tuna fish sandwich?
1262
01:32:55,488 --> 01:32:57,073
Yes.
1263
01:32:57,240 --> 01:33:00,201
I'm gonna have a tuna fish sandwich, Martha.
1264
01:33:00,368 --> 01:33:01,953
Step.
1265
01:33:02,119 --> 01:33:04,664
- Step. - Arthur.
1266
01:33:04,830 --> 01:33:09,210
Arthur. I demand that you take this money.
1267
01:33:10,544 --> 01:33:12,964
I want a decision, and I want it now.
1268
01:33:14,674 --> 01:33:17,426
I can't tell you what a lousy wedding that was, Bitterman.
1269
01:33:21,055 --> 01:33:25,559
- Bitterman, goodbye. Thank you. - I'm going.
1270
01:33:25,726 --> 01:33:29,814
Goodbye, sir. It was a pleasure working for you.
1271
01:33:29,981 --> 01:33:32,817
Chauffeurs rarely get to laugh. Thank you.
1272
01:33:32,984 --> 01:33:35,027
- Goodbye, Bitterman. - Goodbye, miss.
1273
01:33:35,194 --> 01:33:38,948
Arthur, I'm going. Open that door, Rockland.
1274
01:33:40,032 --> 01:33:43,286
- Ever been on a yacht? - No. Is it wonderful?
1275
01:33:43,452 --> 01:33:44,745
It doesn't suck.
1276
01:33:44,912 --> 01:33:50,042
Arthur, I shall never offer you this money again.
1277
01:33:50,209 --> 01:33:53,546
I wish you luck in your poverty.
1278
01:33:58,050 --> 01:33:59,885
Excuse me.
1279
01:34:19,238 --> 01:34:21,365
What--? What happened?
1280
01:34:21,532 --> 01:34:23,993
- Oh, I turned her down. - Oh.
1281
01:34:24,160 --> 01:34:28,247
Well, she invited us for dinner, and I said we're having a tuna fish sandwich.
1282
01:34:28,414 --> 01:34:30,416
So I turned her down.
1283
01:34:30,916 --> 01:34:33,419
I took the money. I mean, I'm not crazy.
1284
01:34:35,629 --> 01:34:37,590
Bitterman, do you wanna double your salary?
1285
01:34:37,757 --> 01:34:39,842
- Yes, sir. - Then open that door.
1286
01:34:40,009 --> 01:34:42,428
- Right away. - Is that funny?
1287
01:34:44,764 --> 01:34:46,432
Where to, sir?
1288
01:34:47,099 --> 01:34:49,727
The park, Bitterman. Drive through the park.
1289
01:34:49,894 --> 01:34:51,520
You know how I love the park.
1290
01:34:51,687 --> 01:34:54,607
- Get in. Step. - Step.
98389
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